VA The Other Woman
by ELFINA01
Summary: In my absence a new threat has come to court looking to end the last of the Dragomir line. Queen Tatiana has summoned me back to court full fill an old promise. But Can I face the betrayal from those that I once loved?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own any on the Vampire Academy books or characters, they belong to the one and only talented Richelle Mead only the story line and plot are mine.

**Prologue**

_Dimitri and I had been through so much in the short amount of time,__ after he dragged Lissa and I back to court. He became my mentor, teaching me all the things that I needed to know in protecting my charge._

_He even taught me what was expected in becoming the best possible guardian to Lissa, my best friend and sister. I swore to her family, from a very young age, that I would always watch over and protect her,__ even with my very life._

_Dimitri had even gone as far as teaching me discipline, self-control, and then what really counts, matters of the heart... love. What it really means to love someone, to find that special bond between two people. It's t__he only bond that could be described as soul mates._

_I had journeyed all the way to Russia, to free him from that hellish state, where he nearly had taken my life. Planning Victor's escape from prison hadn't been easy. In fact, it had been very hard, even to this very day; I still carry the guilt of what I have done._ _With the help of Victor and his brother Robert Doru, I even learned there was a way of bringing a Dhampir back. _

_This was so rare that it was only known to happen once among our people. It was considered more myth, than fact. But nothing would stop me, if there was a slight chance of saving Dimitri, and returning what the Strigoi's had stolen from him. Well, Dimitri was worth any crazy risk, and I was willing to take it. By saving him, I was also saving myself a life time of heartache, trying to live__ without him._

_The one thing that Dimitri didn't teach me about was betrayal, specifically from those that you love and were closest too. You know the kind that I'm talking about, where the person you love, lies and cheats on you with your best friend or family member. Someone you hold near and dear to your heart. How you're life and world gets turned upside down, by somebody else actions, and everything you had ever believed in was nothing more than a fairy tale._

_ Being a Dhampir female and choosing the life of a guardian ensured I wouldn't get to have a happy ending from some prince charming. With the discovery of Dimitri's and Lissa's private affair, my heart and soul was shattered, the very foundation of who I was rocked to the core. My very essence shredded into a thousand little pieces, from which I wasn't sure if I could recover. Yeah those kinds of betrayals; Dimitri must have skimmed over those pages when he was giving me his whole crappy life zen lessons._

_At the time that I was being betrayed by those who claimed to have loved me, another enemy was plotting. Planning an evil little agenda, all of their own, seeking their own brand of vengeance. Being friendly to all of our faces, and yet, stabbing us behind our backs. A wolf in sheep clothing, getting close to all of us, an unexpected foe- a predator, scheming __to take one of our own most treasured lambs out to be slaughtered._


	2. Grieve It, Feel It, Even Hurt Over It

_I didn't know what to think as I walked the grounds of court. It was the night shift and it was my turn for patrolling, Eddie was my partner for the remainder of the evening. Stuffing my hands into my pockets to hold back the night chilly air, fall was already coming as the glistening dew from a light sprinkling rain clung to the small blades of grass. We crossed the guardians training field, just to the right of us were the quads. Where we did our laps across the closed circuit field. We were in the Dhampir's section of the courtyards, getting ready to double back towards the Moroi side._

"_Is Dimitri still giving you the cold shoulder?" Eddie asked knowing that was where my thoughts had lingered._

"_Yep." I replied taking unsteady breath and trying to avoid his questioning eyes. "You should have heard him in the church...I'm sorry Rose but I think we all did." Knowing all of court probably heard what happen between Dimitri and I didn't make me feel any better._

"_So what are you going to do now?" Eddie asked laying a comforting hand upon my shoulder stopping me from walking any further. Squeezing my eyes shut tightly and blinking back the tears I looked up into the night time sky. Pretending that I was looking at the moon instead of letting the tears roll down my face, after all I had an image to up hold and I couldn't have everyone thinking that I had gone soft._

__"_Give him time, who knows what happened or what the affects from spirit may have done to Dimitri. I mean you don't see any experts running around here. All I can do is wait or at least that is what Lissa keeps telling me. The last thing I wanted to do is drive Dimitri even further away._

"_And Adrian...don't get me started." I said shaking my head sadly...It's over my whole life is a wreck right now and I don't have a single clue as to how I'm suppose to fix it." I explained, here lately Eddie and Mia seemed like the only ones I could talk to. Lissa was so busy trying to be there for Dimitri that I seldom saw her, and Adrian. He was so fed up with knowing that I could never love him that he dump me last night. _

_Squeezing my shoulder tightly I tapped his hand letting Eddie know that I was alright, maybe broken on the inside but the world would see on the outside that I was alright after all I was a Hathaway I had a reputation to uphold. _

_I didn't need to tell Eddie what I was thinking when I pulled away and continuing my patrolling around the courts. If there was ever a time that I needed to go to the gym this was one of those times. I needed to vent in the worse way possible and clobbering something was the way to do it. After all violence was the answer and it had been since the day I was born. _

_Checking all of the wards and making sure that all of the Moroi doors was tight and secure, the hours rolled by quickly as the morning dawn started lighting up the sky. There was an assortment of colors with the powdering of blue and pastel pinks with tangerine oranges. Eddie glanced down at his watch and cracked a smile."Shift is over ready to clock out partner?" Folding my hands behind my back I stifled the yawn that was surfacing. _

"_You going to meet up with Mia before turning in?" I asked giving Eddie a sly wink. Turning several shaded red he grinned. He had grown close to her when I had left to go to Siberia in search of Dimitri. It was so painfully obvious to everyone before I had left that they were into each other. I had only wondered who had asked who out._

"_Nahh not this morning she has some business with Rhonda to attend to before turning in, but were suppose to meet up before she does." Eddie explained his face was getting even more redder. When we got into the guardian's head quarters. I grabbed my time sheet and clocked out._

"_I'll catch you later Castile." I waved out, slipping out past the sliding glass doors. The small walk to the courtyards were pleasant. The birds were chirping in the nearby trees and shrubs catching their first meal of the day. The small fluttering of butterflies caught my eye when with they flew in circular patterns around the rosebush, along with the humming birds. You couldn't help but notice those that had worked through the night were slowly clearing the grounds getting ready to turn in for the day. The Moroi's slept during the day and well so did their guardian's. It was mainly at night we were called upon to serve and protect. When I had pulled open the door of my apartment I crawled into the shower letting the cascading water beat down on my tired muscles from the long night_

_Completely relaxed and dressed and cleaned I crawled into bed doing my morning thing and called Lissa before going to sleep._

_"How is he." I asked nervously when she answered the phone hearing the same subtle sigh that seeped out._

_"I saw Dimitri last night. He has great news Rose." He returning back to active duty." Lissa breath excitedly into the phone, feeling a small smile shine on my face I closed my eyes feeling relief._

_"That's good, it's about time." I chuckled "And his visit with his family is everyone doing well Viktoria...Olena and Yeva._

_"Rose." Lissa scolded "You talk to them every night, you already know how there doing ."_

_"I know Lissa it's just that I missed them. I miss them just about as much as I miss Dimitri." I said sadly twirling the phone cord._

_"I know you do Rose. Dimitri will come around...yeah..yeah I know he needs more time." I mumbled back._

_"I'll talk to you latter when you get up." Lissa said quietly then hanging up the phone. Rolling over on the bed and snapping the light off. I closed my eyes letting sleep claim me._

_ The quicken of my heart beat raced into my ears as adrenaline raced through my body as I shivered with hunger and need. The dull roaring rang loud and home into my ears as my excitement grew. My mouth became tender almost swollen with need, every touch every caress the rough tugging and pulling of my shirt. Groaning with need and wanting more my eyes snapped open but I was stuck in Lissa head._

_"No..no no.. I screamed out shaking my head with disgust as I tried pulling out of her head. I didn't want to see her and Christian at it again. For some reason know matter how hard I tried to pull out of her head I couldn't. I tried throwing up every mental barrier that I had in place. It was useless only when Lissa has been in the intense grips of passion that I struggled to do so, that I felt violated the way I do now. The sleekness of his ripped tones muscles contracted. When her hands grazed his chest and his abs flexing with delight from the soft brushing of her fingertips. The low husky guttural growl sound from his throat vibrated in his chest. When he pulled back the shirt and was tenderly kissing her miles and miles of skin, stopping when he got to her claim mouth. It was then that I heard him but his voice sounded so strange into my ears._

_"Your so beautiful Lissa that sometime it physically hurts just to look at you." He mutter close by when he raised his head. It was the eyes, the eyes that I had looked into so many time seeing into his soul. "It's Dimitri" I choked out hoarsely my head was spinning when I was free enough to pull out of her head. "It's Dimitri." I gasped out tripping on the corner sheet of my blankets and falling down on the floor. Grabbing my pants and slipping them on I didn't care if they were right side in or inside out. I grabbed the first shirt that I saw and pulled it over my head and sliding my feet into my running shoes._

_"Snap out of it Rose... it was only a dream. It was just a stupid dream" Somewhere in my heart even I didn't believe that one. Grabbing my stake and my jacket I sheath my stake and flung my uniform jacket around me and raced out the door, not bothering to shut it behind me._

_ I walked fast almost at a dead run making my legs move just as fast as they could carry me. While the soles of my shoes slammed hard into the pavement in my desperate need to get to Lissa's. The courtyards were empty as I raced up the stairs to her loft as I had done a hundred times before. It's not Dimitri... Liss would never.. never do that to you." My head screamed out. "She your sister... Lissa isn't capable of hurting you like that... get a grip Rose... just get a grip." My head clambered once more as I ran up the last flight of stairs. My hands shook so badly and trembled when I stood in front of Lissa door. That I was testing the knob, I didn't think I would even have the ability to even open the door. However the knob slowly turned in my fingertips when I pushed on the handle, letting myself into the apartment._

_My moments were slow and steady, the only sound that could be heard from my entrance into the apartment was the loud pounding in my heart. While my stomach clinched and tighten up into knots, as though I was going to be sick. I could feel the blood rushing from my face as dread set in. I walked slowly from the living, towards Lissa's bedroom. I could hear the husky moans of pleasure, followed by the heavy panting. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. I learned all about sexed at the Academy from class and my mentor...my mentor my brain snapped. _

_When I entered into to Lissa bedroom a very large male towered over her. He was damn sure to big to be Christian and the sounds coming from him, I had heard before. As though Dimitri had sense my presence he turned and looked over his shoulder and his eyes locked on mine. I honestly didn't even know what the hell I was doing standing there, it was as though my feet had been rooted into the very spot on the carpet. Everything seemed to slow down into a roar. I looked from Dimitri then towards Lissa who suddenly was very aware of seeing me now standing in her doorway._

_ Cupping her hand over her mouth her eyes suddenly fearful met mine. I didn't know what to think or even what to feel the steady ticking sound coming from the clock by her stand. Was the only noise in the room and yet it was so deafening loud. Swallowing several times and releasing the breath that I must have been holding. My hand tugged and pulled on the chotki bracelet that Lissa had given me a couple of years ago at Christmas._

_ It was my vow, my promise what I had always felt that I had been born for. To always watch over and protect her, to be Lissa guardian, along with the chotki. I pulled off the Ring Mark had given me, remembering a time when Dimitri had been Strigoi. For those few precious moments, a part of his spirit returned long enough to care to miss his family to remember who he was. Both pieces of jewelry slipped from my fingers thumping lightly on the plush carpet. All three pieces of jewelery that I owned was a lie, a bald face lie, it was nothing more then useless junk. The ring, chotki and the lust charm all three had meant nothing to them, anymore then I did. Lissa eyes followed were her bracelet had fallen knowing what it had meant and my body started to shake from the shock of seeing the two. The two people I had loved most in the world, the two who were my family, my life and now within sheer seconds gone, it was all gone everything. Just as I had entered the room I turned around and walked towards the door._

_"Rose... Rose." Lissa gasped out in pain, agony maybe guilt. Who the hell knows what was lingering in her voice as I tuned her out. _

_On my way out I passed Adrian in the hallway he was filled with way to much whiskey and booze. Even he picked up there was something off kilter with me, when I passed him by. Adrian knew this wasn't spirit induced darkness that I was feeling. My aura could have been completely pitch black and it wouldn't have been from a single drop of darkness, this was all me. _

_I walked back to my apartment in stunned silence, god it was deafeningly loud. All the signs were there, how could I have been so stupid that I didn't notice until now? I saw Dimitri's feelings for Lissa changing. I contributed his actions to playing her knight and shinning armor, his savior of the world, the whole hero worship thing. When I got back to my apartment and collapsed on the floor by my bed. I wrapped my arms around my legs and cried softly into them, it felt as though someone had died. Every inch of my soul felt tore up and broken and for what? Lissa and Dimitri the two people, I had cared the most about? It wasn't long before the steady strumming of knocking sounds started on my door as though they were going to beat the door in. The frantic voices of Adrian, Eddie, Mia on the other side. One right after the other they had came and pounded on the door just to not have it answered._

_The sun rose through the curtains then settled back down to switch off for the evening. The moon would climb into the night sky and cast it's gentle glow. I didn't report to work, nor did I go out for any of my meals, just so everyone could look at me with pity shining in their eyes. Almost like a ritual the daily knocking on my door came and left. The bond that I had with Lissa I had mange to block out. I didn't want to know what she was thinking or feeling. I didn't care what she was seeing or who she was seeing. After the fourth day I pulled myself out of the hazy fog that had been pressing down on me. It was time to face the world, I couldn't hide in here forever know matter how much I wanted to._

_ Sooner or latter I would end up seeing Lissa or Dimitri, at least when would be of my choosing and not theirs. Climbing into the shower and washing the stink off of me the hot water burned the last four days away. When I climb out of the shower, I quickly toweled off and dressed in my formal back and white guardian's uniform. Brushing my hair and pulling it into a tight bun in the back and using pins to hold it in place. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, yes I had better days. More then that I felt as though I had aged beyond years. With heavy bags under my eyes from not sleeping and crying. But starting today I refused to be the other woman any more. Dimitri and Lissa hadn't broken me. I was a damn Hathaway _born from the toughest stock, my mother Janine was proof of that. When I stepped out of the a hallway of my guardian's quarters. I could feel the many stares of everyone around me as I walked slowly to the cafeteria. Food was on the agenda and not the kind that came from a box or a can but real food.__

_"Hey Rose." Christian jogged up beside me with a goofy grin on his face, the poor guy didn't even know my head reasoned. "You heading over to get some breakfast?" _

_"Yeah and you." I asked biting down hard on my tongue so my mouth couldn't do any thing stupid._

_"Nahh I was just heading over to the feeders. Alice is in today and I want to get there before everyone else does. He said with an even bigger grin._

_"Not big on sharing are you?" I said lamely not being able to joke._

_"Nope and neither do you apparently." Which stopped me in my tracks, giving me a quick wink Christian jogged away. "See you around Hathaway." He called over his shoulder._

_ When I went through the line up inside the cafeteria I pulled the tray grabbing the waffles, bacon and eggs along with my chocolate glazed donuts and took my seat beside Mikhail and Alberta. Both raised their eyes towards me as I took my seat, but neither said a word while I ate. I picked at the waffles knowing I should just choke the thing down. My appetite hasn't been the same since I had caught them together._

_"So when do you think you'll be coming back into work." Mikhail asked causally noticing I had eaten as much as I was going to and was sipping my coffee._

_"Soon but I want a transfer...I no longer want to be Lissa guardian I rather work in the jail or filing room then have to serve as her guardian...But Rose don't realize what an opportunity this is for your career?" Alberta pointed out._

_I don't care what this does to my career, it's not about that. I won't serve as her guardian. So if the princess needs protecting I suggest you find somebody else. _

_Mikhail looked back at me with understanding eyes but it was Alberta who spoke as though she was reading his mind._

_"Their is no room for our personal lives here Guardian Hathaway or have you forgotten your mantra. They come first... they always come first." Just as Alberta had finished her rants, Lissa came strolling in._

_"Then fire me." I added blandly looking away. "Or better yet send me away because she will never...come first for me again."_

_"Rose think about what your saying." Mikhail said softly keeping his voice down reaching his hand across the table to hold mine. I looked back up at him. "You shouldn't throw your life away over this, grieve it, feel it even hurt over it, but move on._

_"That's all I'm trying to do, but I won't guard her find somebody else." Letting out a troubling sigh Alberta tapped Mikhail on the arm letting him know it was time for them to start their shift. _


	3. They Were Only Memories

_The scent of her perfume filled my nose when Lissa sat down and I thought I was going to be sick. Everything inside of me clamped up into tight little knots that I wanted to gag._

_"Rose please let me explain." Lissa said softly "I...I really need to explain." She choked out. When I looked at her, her face was filled with guilt. The emerald eyes that carried the royal traits of Eric Dragomir were shiny and bloodshot. Her perfect alabaster face had grown even paler and haunted. The look on her face, the nervous twitching of her hands the look in her eyes, that were wild thoroughly pissed me off. My sister I thought dryly almost with a laugh, somehow felt wronged, the victim in all of this. _

_"Sure princess explain away how you lied to my face...explain how I have dedicated my life to you...done everything to keep you safe." In a very quiet icy cold voice that borderline on whispering and with a glare of death looking back at her. "Even fed you when we were on the run in Oregon...explain why you would lie and cheat on Christian. The man you supposedly loved...or better yet explain how my darling sister." I said snorting with a laugh, a cruel humorless laugh and leaning forward even more touching the hairs around her face. "My darling sister who I love, why she would fuck Dimitri. Because princess and I do mean princess. I would really like to know._

_Lissa flinched her eyes widen in surprise, just from hearing me use her title not once but twice and her nervousness grew. Biting down on her bottom lip I couldn't take it anymore and grabbed my tray and got up from the table, throwing my trash away. I had just stepped outside walking fast towards the courts letting the night time cool breeze take my mind off of Lissa. When I felt gentle cool fingers grip my wrist stopping me in my tracks._

_"Because I care about him Rose. I swear I didn't do it to hurt you. God I never wanted to hurt you." She cried out from behind me, she was sniffling and I didn't need to turn around to look at her to know she was crying. _

_"We got close when I restored his soul...Why did you do it, when you damn sure knew that I loved him." I growled out low cutting her off. Everything inside of me was boiling as though I was a pressure cooker getting ready to snap. Turning around suddenly, wrenching my hand away from hers, I waited. While my hands curled into fists, every part of me was shaking and I waited and waited some more. When Lissa looked back at me she was taking several unsteady breaths and large tears were rolling down her eyes, dripping down to her cheeks._

_"I don't know why." She said shaking her head as though she was the one who was confused. "I don't know why I did it." She repeated once more and everything that had been building up inside of me finally snapped, all the threads that were holding my self control intact one by one broke just like the shattered pieces to my heart. Both of my hands sprung out as though they had a mind of their own, as though the tightly balled up fists were possessed and pushed her backwards and Lissa stumbled._

_"Rose please." Lissa said anxiously looking around herself, her emerald eyes flashing in terror even more. My hands hit the side walls of her chest again, with more force this time shoving her even further backwards, making Lissa stumble on the rock that was behind her. My hands itched and burned real bad with the need of hitting something, anything at this point. Without thinking my arm drew back and POW right into her face making a sicking sound._

_"I gave you everything...everything I had and for what? For this... I sacrificed my whole life for you. Just so you can go behind my back and fuck Dimitri?" I wailed out raising my fist again finding home just on the other side, right below her jaw, hearing the loud crack that followed. The punch was to much for her and had caught her off guard. Because Lissa dropped to the ground like a ton of brinks and I was on her in a flash. Sitting on her chest pining her arms down at her sides my fist raised up again slamming hard into her nose this time._

_"Rose please...please just stop for a minute please." Lissa screamed out in between punches. "I don't know why I did it." She cried out towards me. Before I could land another punch, I was properly tackled to the ground by several other guardian's making a loud ump sound when my chest hit the grassy turf._

_"Guardian Hathaway your under arrest for assaulting a Moroi. You can explain yourself to the queen." Stan angrily bellowed out dragging me away from Lissa._

_"Get use to your spirit darkness Lissa." I glared back over my shoulder because your on your own for now on." I snarled out bitterly. When I looked down at my hands the were covered in blood, her blood, my knuckles were raw and bleeding. From pouching Lissa's face as many times that I did. But god it felt good, it felt so damn good that I was unable to hide the evil grin. I allowed it to crease my face she didn't even know why she had done it. Lissa could have lied and said it was because of spirit darkness and maybe I would have believed her. Not a chance in hell my brain screamed out. Lissa could of said that it wasn't her fault, yeah right I know what I saw my stomach tightening in response. For that matter she could have always used the excuse of saying she had compelled Dimitri or she was drunk. God my own head was making every excuse for her now. My heart and my gut on the other hand knew better, it was just that an excuse, nothing more then bullshit. _

_With my head held high and my shoulders squared. I looked at everyone that I passed in the eyes. I just didn't expect to see Christian or Mia and Eddie. I mean at this point all of court was seeing me and they were seeing that I wasn't broken._

_"Your mantra is to protect the Moroi." Stan bellowed out while he lead me to the guardian's head quarters. "Not beat them up, you'll be lucky if the queen doesn't throw you in prison for this insubordination behavior._

_Letting out a long cleansing breath my smile grew even bigger, Lissa had gotten exactly what she deserved and we both knew it. _

"_You can't make me feel bad for what I did Stan." I replied when he led me to my cell. "The princess got what she deserved and beside she'll heal herself within the hour. So it's not like there was any permanent damage done." Taking the keys off from around his hip. Stan unlocked the door to my cell and I stepped in. Reaching over he removed the metal handcuffs that were around my wrist. And I walked over to the bed and sat down._

"_Just for the record Rose." He said his sparkling eyes twitching but his guardian mask remaining in place. "Everything that you have worked so hard for and hell even trained for your whole life, your throwing it all away. Your letting them win, when you pull that kind of reckless behavior like you just did just a few moments ago."_

_Biting my bottom lip and stretching out on the bed I looked up at the ceiling counting the cracks in the plaster. "Maybe so but it sure felt good and that alone was worth it." I explained with another long smile. _Shaking his head Stan left leaving me time to think. Thinking of all the times that I had went to my classes at the academy. _A dutiful Dhampir places the lives of every Moroi above there own. What it had meant to be a guardian, the code of honor that we lived by, the sacrificing choices that we all had to make. Giving up a home, family, love. I mean that was what I had signed up for. Dimitri had taught me everything in his well rounded ways. His quiet standoffish wall that he drew up keeping others out, not really allowing himself to build friendships. He was a loner because at any given day he could have died from battling Strigoi's. A war they were bent on having to bring about both Moroi and Dhampir's down fall, none of us knew our fate. _

_But in the last couple of years of my training and education with Dimitri, he never taught me about this. He never taught me how easy it was to destroy a person. He had never taught me how lying and cheating by those that you loved could splinter your soul, or question who I was. My future had been planned and my course of what I was going to do with my life had been set. The biggest question I had in all of this, was now what, where was I suppose to go from here?  
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_"Hathaway you have a visitor." Stan said returning back to my cell. Glancing over I shouldn't have been surprised to see flamer standing there. Stifling the urge to laugh and walking over towards him, his pale blue icy cold eyes carried a hint of amusement. _

_"Hey fire-crotch what are you doing? Slumming?" I asked when I reached my hands towards the bars._

_"I guess so. I came to see you didn't I?"_

_"_So what brings you down to my neck of the woods. I know you didn't come here for the view." I said jokingly.__

_" _You." Christian said suddenly looking serious and looking around the rows of the jail cell that separated us. "I wanted to make sure that you were alright. I didn't think your visitors list would be full."__

__Letting out a small snort, I couldn't help but to agree. "Yeah you see how poplar I have become, since going off on Lissa... and Dimitri well he's next." I snorted with disgust. "How long did you know?" I asked pinning Christian down with a sobering stare all joking put aside.__

__Raking his hand through the soft tussle's of his jet black hair, Christian took a deep breath. Whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be good.__

_"_It started when Lissa was visiting Dimitri, when the queen and the guardian's had him locked up and wasn't convince that he wasn't a Strigoi anymore. That was when I noticed they were getting close to close for my comfort. Then Dimitri was coming over to the loft more and more. Shortly after Lissa was making excuses, saying she was needed for counsel type meetings, she wasn't even on the counsel.__

__After everything that you went through to get him back." Christian coughed clearing his throat and combing his hair again with his fingertips. "I just didn't have the heart to say anything. I had thought you were with Adrian, I had no idea you was holding out for Dimitri.__

_"_I wasn't ever with Adrian." I said sadly looking down and kicking the bars of my cell. I had promised Adrian that I would give him a fair chance, when I came back from Siberia. But I didn't, I had gotten so caught up with trying to save Dimitri." Letting out a wild laugh and crossing my arms over my chest. I started pacing the length of my cell feeling like a wild caged up animal. "That I really never gave him a chance." I explained sorrowful. He didn't deserved to be used like that. __

_"_Adrian knew what he was getting into when he got involved with you. Everyone could see how you felt about Dimitri. Even I can still see it." Christian said softly.__

_"_Give it time flamer that will change...ugh I can't get the image out of my head, of seeing them together like that." Hitting the nearby wall made him flinch whether it was from the loud crack of my knuckles or just from me hitting the wall was anybodies guess. __

_"So what are you going to do?"_

_Shrugging my shoulders I walked back over towards the bars shaking my head ruefully I didn't have a clue."If I don't go to prison... maybe leave...put in for a transfer at the academy or go back to Siberia to be closer to Dimitri's family. I love them like my own. Letting out along sigh that wasn't going to work either I had to learn how to let the Belikov's go. They were Dimitri's family not mine and just knowing made the pain in my chest hurt even more. "I'm just not sure yet...but I don't think I can stay here, around them._

_"Waving his finger Christian smirked. "Just make sure you let me know where your going."_

_ "Does that mean you still want to play big brother?" I asked cupping my hand over my heart and batting my eyes at Christian, he turned three shades of red. "I'm so touched." I smiled back. _

_I smiled innocently back at him, knowing the whole fluster look that Christian was giving was because I had embarrassed him._

_"Later Hathaway...My name is Rose." I yelled back" When he left leaving me once again to my thoughts. They hours rolled by and days were quickly passing Christian would stop in and see me and we would chat about our time at the academy, the old days. I had settled into a steady routine of keeping myself busy doing push up and regular exercise._

_"Rose you have a visitor." Mikhail said giving me a questioning looking on the twelfth day._

_"What you couldn't stay away." I asked not taking my hand away from my eyes. The headache that I had was a real killer, as the migraine was getting worse._

_"Apparently not." My mother voice sounded cold and I instantly got up from the bed suddenly feeling nervous. "What am I going to do with you Rose? She asked, the look of disappointment was written all over her. Janine wasn't mother of the year, her staying out of my life after she dropped me off at the academy showed just how much motherly she really was. I was in big trouble if she was here and I braced for the Hathaway fireworks of rage. _

_"When are you going to grow up Rose? When are you going to learn that your actions doesn't just affect you?" _

_Janine was glaring from across my cell as though she could have strangled me on the spot. If I wasn't behind bars I was sure she would have given me more then a black eye. Like she had done on the quads when I had mouth off to her. _

_"It always so nice to see you to mom." I replied dryly of course she would take Lissa side._

_With her hands clinched and the tightening of her jaw, the red hair on her head looked more like flames, flames of fury over what I had done. The sharp wild brown of her eyes flashed cautiously. Letting me know if I pushed to far she would use every bit of guardian clout that she had to take me out. _

_"You've disgrace us with your behaviors." Mom said viciously staring adamantly back at me. "And now I have to decide what to do with you."_

_"Well that should be easily." I snorted unnaturally back at her. "Do what you do best nothing. Walk away and let the queen decide for herself what she wants to do with me." I spat out now on the verge of yelling. So typical for my mom to take everybody else's side and only hearing what she had wanted to hear._

_Pinching the bridge of her nose and smoothing the lapels of her guardian jacket mom let out a warily sigh stroking her forehead in frustration. _

_"Why did you do it Rose...I mean I've heard the rumors here at court, but I would like to hear it from you. Why did you go after ___Vasilisa. You and her were like sisters, you grew up together." Mom asked for once not yelling at me anymore,lowering her guard just slightly. That was all it took for the dam of emotions to bubble back to the surface. While images of Dimitri and Lissa being together flashed in front of me, ripping out my soul all over again. Her heavy heart beat pounding wildly into her chest, the loud moaning sounds of pleasure filling my ears that I burst into tears all over again. The weight of what they both had done knocked me off of my feet and I fell, sliding down the cell bars. __

_"_Do you know what it feels like." I asked with a large hiccup that echoed in the small space around me. While large warm salty water droplets drip down my cheeks, soaking my shirt when I turned slightly to look at her. "Do you know what it feels like to love two people so completely, to have given up anything for them. Just so they can go behind your back...and betray you?" I asked with agony filling my voice as I couldn't stop the flowing of memory's that popped into my head. "I mean, I loved him mom... I really loved him and ….he and Lissa." I choked out not being able to continue, shaking my head in disbelief. Reaching over through the cell bars, I felt my moms fingers lightly touching my hair almost combing the strands. Her other hand reached into the cell bars and rubbed up and down slowly in a lazy caress, a feather light touch on my back smoothly giving me her strength. __

_"_Ahh Rosemarie I had no idea that you and guardian Belikov had been involved. I should have guessed during the Christmas ski break. When you acted kinda off after learning Tasha's desire of having Dimitri as her guardian.__

_"_We weren't then." I explained shaking my head and looking at my mom, the woman who could take on anything and nothing could touch her. "But I was already in love with him at that point. Shortly later, he told me that he couldn't take Tasha up on her offer, because he was in love with me." I whispered back, looking away from her not really knowing what else to say.__

_"_Then it sounds to me like you need to go and spend some time with your father." Janine replied seriously and I turned around to face her. __

__Zmey? Your going to send me to Russia?" I asked with growing interest.__

_"_Not Russia Rosemarie but Turkey and you'll be leaving at the end of the week. However the queen wants you to promise if and when she ever needs you, you'll return back to court without any...um episodes with Lissa or Dimitri. __

__Turning more fully around I didn't know what to say and my mother patted my hand.__

_"_Guardian Alto you can release my daughter. She has agreed to the queens conditions." Mom called out over her shoulder, then backing away from the bars of the cell. Pulling myself to my feet just as soon as Stan opened the door. I threw my arms tightly around her neck, just to feel her arms encircle me. "Thank you mom...for understanding." I whispered back into her ear before she let me go.__

_"_Ow and Rose I do know what it's like... I was just hoping you wouldn't have to go through something like this." When I walked out of the queen's detention holding cells and collected all my belongings at the front desk. My mother stood behind me talking with Mikhail. When I caught sight of him for the first time in nearly two weeks since it had happened. __His dark rich eyes looked me over as he handed his paperwork to the desk clerk. His guardian mask was on making his eyes seem so unreadable. Clearly from they way he kept looking back at me there was so much he had wanted to say. ___The strong smell of his after shave hit me with full force, that my insides knotted up and my fists clinched. The small wiry stubble's that lined his jaw from not shaving just begged to be belted with my right hook. That I was slowly starting to shake as my breathing became more labored with rage. ___

___His hair being pulled back into a ponytail and the way the few strands was tucked behind his ear, was just begging me to confront this man. The very same man who had ripped my heart out, smashing it into nothing. The white collard guardian shirt was tucked into his black wrangler jeans. The way his duster hung heavy down his long legs brought back memories from the academy. From when he first carried me after I had hurt my ankle on a stupid bench to the time he had covered up me up in it when I fell asleep in the van during Lissa's shopping trip. God I groaned inside how could I have been such a fool, to get played that way. ___

___Both my heart and mind needed to learn to forget the memories, that's all they were now just memories. Right like forgetting the Russian god himself was an option. ___Swallowing the large massive lump that had lodge itself deep into the back of my throat, nearly choking me. Everything inside of me screamed at him as I quickly ran out of the office front doors. If I faced Dimitri now one of us would get hurt and I wasn't all that sure it would be me. __ __


	4. I Think I'll Have Another

I am done, smoking gun  
>We've lost it all, the love is gone. She has won, now it's no fun. We've lost it all, the love is gone. And we had magic, and this is tragic. You couldn't keep your hands to yourself. I feel like our world's been infected. And somehow you left me neglected. We've found our lives been changed. Babe, you lost me. And we tried, oh, how we cried. We lost ourselves, the love has died. And though we tried you can't 're left as shells, we lost the fight. And we had magic, and this is tragic. You couldn't keep your hands to yourself, oh I feel like our world's been infected. And somehow you left me neglected. We've found our lives been changed. Babe, you lost me. Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet. But you chose lust when you deceived me. And you'll regret it, but it's too late. How can I ever trust you again? I feel like our world's been infected And somehow you left me neglected We've found our lives been changed, yeah Babe, you lost me<p>Christina Aguilera: You Lost Me Lyrics

__When I stepped outside the detention center, the soft cool breeze rubbed softly across my face. That I smooth back the blowing hairs from my cheek. The crescent shaped moon hung heavy in the night sky with small fluffy pillowy white clouds. A few stars lingered here and there twinkling in the distance, giving the night a quiet ___serene___ look to it. That my heart crumpled why did everything have to look so damn perfect, when everything on the inside of me was falling apart. Letting out a small puff of air and walking slowly towards my apartment, the courtyards were filled with various actives on the quads. Guardian's were running on the track while others were practicing combat training maneuvers. __

__Both Moroi's and Dhampir's were scuttling back and forth towards the royal quorums. While queen _Tatiana herself was personally overseeing all proceedings during closed sessions with her chief of staff. Life was moving on with or without me, I thought airily as I entered my apartment. The blast of stale air hit me when I walked into the apartment. Flipping on the light switch the apartment felt like it belong to a stranger then feeling like home to me. The place looked just as drab and lonely as it had when I first moved here._

_ Basic quarters for guardians wasn't meant to house comfort and luxury yet mine did. Both Lissa and I had decorated this place from top to bottom painting the walls in a soft butter cream yellow with soft ivory white trim. Colored photographs in shiny yellow brass and silver frames of us hung on the walls from our days back at the academy and growing up as kids with her folks. Nick knacks littered the stands, that was lovingly picked out from all of our shopping sprees and outing adventures. The dark brown drapes matched the thick plushy pillow back couch that was squared off in the center of the living room, with matching reclining chairs. Loud yellow and green bean bags were pushed up against the coffee table from all the times Lissa and Adrian came over to watch movies with me._

_"Great what the hell am I going to do with all this stuff." I yelled into the empty room throwing my hands up into the air. Everywhere I looked was another painful stabbing reminder of what Lissa had done to me and the family I had lost. Along in those once treasured pictures were Dimitri and I, Lissa andChristain, Eddie and Mia. The rack pack we called ourselves.  
><em>

_"Well you could donate it all to charity." Turing suddenly around Adrian was leaned up against the doorway with a broad grin on his face. While his staggering emerald green eyes surveyed the room. "So I take it the rumors are true then little Dhampir. Your leaving us aren't you?" Adrian asked his eyes boring back into mine that I had to look away. Nodding my head meekly my eyes prickled again with tears that threatened to spill out. Adrian cursed out a deep breath and walked into the apartment closing the distance that separated us. His powerful arms wrapped around me before I could blink and he squeezed me tightly into his chest. My arms snaked around his waist while my head rested on his shoulder. _

_"I thought you hated me." I muffled into the sleeve of his arm._

_"Angry that you can't love me, damn straight Rose your a hard act to follow. Hate you because you can't love me no little Dhampir. I'm to addicted to you for that. Every addiction goes through dry spell period and well I'm cycling back around." Adrian said with a light chuckle in his voice._

_"I thought I had lost your friendship...I thought you wanted nothing more to do with me." I replied honestly. "I wouldn't blame you if you did."_

_"And they say chivalry is dead...I will always be here for you Little Dhampir." Adrian said softly pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my forehead. "Now what to do with all this stuff." he said letting me go of me to walk around the room just to pull a picture from the wall. It had been of of my favorites until now, Sitting at a booth cozy up to Christian with his arm draped loosely around her shoulders. Lissa was pressing a chase kiss to Christian's cheek, who had a crazy experssion of his face. Sitting along side of them I was sitting on Dimitri's lap with my head leaned up against Adrian's shoulder and all of us wore the craziest smiles you would ever see. The picture had been taken from a diner not to far from here it was during one of our little shopping excursions when both Dimitri and I had been off duty and we were out clowning around._

_"That picture there you can burn. Hell almost all of these pictures." I said flippantly pointing to the wall."Can be burned or given back to Lissa, after all her family is in most of them unless there are any that you want._

_"Ohhh my own private collection of you little Dhampir." Adrian said giving me a quick wink then laying the frame down on the stand. "That will be a treat that I shall enjoy."_

_"The furniture, the couch and stuff give it all back to Lissa and if she doesn't want it, then give to charity. I'm sure Father Andrew will find some kind of use for it. Looking over at Adrian he took another picture down and placed it on the stand and I felt like shit._

_"I'm sorry Adrian I know you didn't come over here just to help me pack. "_

_ "Your right about that let's get out of here this whole place is so depressing and I think you could use some fun...but Adrian... before I could say anything else he grasp a hold of my wrist with his hand. Snatching it away from my side and drawing it up towards his chest, leading me out into the hallway of the apartment.__ He wasn't leaving me any room to argue._

_"Adrian where are we going." I asked smirking and following after him._

_"That's a surprise...but I hate surprises." I replied with indifference. He took me towards the garage behind his loft and I shivered wishing I had brought a jacket. He hadn't said anything about an outing so I hadn't bother to grab one. With the chilly fall night air making me cold to the bone I wished that I had at least put on a sweater or something. Just as we rounded the corner Rhonda and Ambrose looked as though they were on there way to see Adrian. However Rhonda let out a nervous giggle when she saw me._

_"What?" I asked looking back at her "Do I have something on my face, something wrong with my makeup or clothes?"_

_"No...no..no, heavens it just the cards told me that I would be speaking to you soon and well Ambrose and I was just here to see Adrian to discuss seeing you...ow never mind. The point is I need to do another reading." Rhonda explained with a light smile. "Preferably before you leave, the alining of the planets is bringing me great concern. Saturn is passing into the sign of Aries . This suggests a changing of the times or of ways. Something which I'm not sure of is going to be happening here at court real soon. Whatever it is, it's not going to be good." She warned. "This is why I need to do a reading with you Rose. Somehow your the key in all of this. _

_"Then I'll come tomorrow." Not really sure what she was rambling about or where this whole thing with the planets where going. I looked from Ambrose to Adrian who shrugged his shoulders just as confused as I was, and pulled me closer inching me more towards the car.  
><em>

"_Tomorrow will be fine Rose. Say right after sunset." Ambrose replied and Rhonda agreed._

"_Lets get out of here." Adrian whispered into my ear when he _leaned over_ opening the door of the car for me to get in. Sticking my head out the door and looking back at Rhonda her eyes met mine.  
><em>

_"Sunset tomorrow. I got it." I replied raising my hand out and waving at them both when Adrian got in and started the car. _

_Reaching into his pocket Adrian pulled out his clove cigarettes lighting one up. The whitish gray smoky mist circled up around his head like a wreath, that I looked out the window. The street lights raced by along with my thoughts as I stared into the darken night. The roads wasn't filled with lots of motorist and Adrian was darting in between the slow and fast lane. Reaching over he flipped on the radio and a song that we both knew came blaring out that I could resist singing even if I was off key. "Hey, slow it down, whataya want from me? Whataya want from me? Yeah, I'm afraid, whataya want from me? Whataya want from me?" I yelled out looking over at Adrian who wore a cheesy grin.  
><em>

_"For you to sit closer to me, is that to much to ask?" Adrian asked patting the seat next to him. When I slid over he turned the radio up even louder and we both started sing the song._

_"There might have been a time when I would give myself away. Oh, once upon a time, I didn't give a damn. But now, here we are, so whataya want from me? Whataya want from me? Just don't give up, I am workin' it out. Please don't give in, I won't let you down. It messed me up, need a second to breathe. Just keep coming around. Hey, whataya want from me? Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me?"_

_ The words that rang out tore through my heart. I was so confused and lost that everything inside of me hurt. I had always known what I was going to do with my life and for that matter who was going to be in it. I felt like a ship that was lost at sea drifting in the tussling currents of the dangerous tides with nothing anchoring me or showing me which direction to go in. Dimitri had always been my captain and Lissa my second mate. Between the two my course was plotted and steady. When Adrian pulled the car the local pub I shot him an evil look._

_"What are we doing here?" I demanded but taking notice that the pub was hopping as crowds of people were lined up waiting to get in. From the street cars that were parking in front and around the building and the large amount of people going inside. The loud blaring music was thumping and bumping. Some of the girls in line waiting to get in were dancing, chatting, texting and good lord flirting with the mixture of both Moroi and Dhampir men. Adrian had brought me out to socialize and I was still wearing the same god forsaken uniform that I had been arrested in. He was going to be dead meat, I wasn't dressed up to go anywhere._

_"Out having a good time Little Dhampir. It's what the doctor ordered, besides what do you want to do mope at the apartment all night or be out with my devilish good looks and charms." He said loudly sounding full of himself, pulling a pocket full of bills out he handed them to the bouncer who was looking at the guest invite list then moved stepping aside to let us in._

_The place was so packed that we were shoulder to shoulder, rubbing elbows as we slide in between the crowd of people who were dancing and bobbing up and down in the air. The disco ball was spinning it various hues of colors of greens, oranges, reds, blue, and yellows all over the people, walls and ceiling. The colors along with the faint odors of both cigarette smoke and alcohol covered the whole club. Yep this was Adrian's kind of place._

_When we got to the bar Adrian spun quickly around in one of those comically cheesy dance moves up against me, smirking from ear to ear. "So what will you have the sky the limit?" He asked expectantly that I shrugged back. "Surprise me." I yelled remembering his pool party and those tasty fruity drinks. The glass that he handed me was large, very large with a frothy chilled Hawaiian blue color. The icy cold drink was severed with slices of pineapple hanging from the side of the long stemmed glass along with miniature umbrellas._

_It was so good a mixture of pineapple juice and huh I have no clue what else, that I downed mine quickly and Adrian ordered another. Whatever it was, it was good after the fourth or fifth I wasn't sure of. I begin to relax and Adrian pulled me closer on the dance floor, dancing to the cupid shuffle. I was having a great time and more and more of those tasty drinks kept coming. "Are you trying to seduce me Ivashkov?" I asked breathlessly when a slow song came on and found myself dancing slowly in his warm embrace with my hands wrapped around his neck twirling the wiry strands of his hair and his hands laid around my hips. The twinkle in his piercing emerald eyes, had a glow of there own and darkened with the question. Before he could answer me someone had grabbed Adrian by his upper shoulder, jerking him backwards away from me._

_Adrian stumbled and fell a few times, that I hadn't realized how much he had been drinking until now when he couldn't get up from the dance floor without somebody else help. When I looked up and my eyes met dark chocolate warm ones, my stomach did flip flops and my heart hammered into overdrive. Dressed into perfection with a dark blue collard button up shirt that was four buttons open showing part of his chest and tucked into a pair of Levi's. He looked hot, smoking hot but it was the rough edges of his face as his eyes harden on me. Almost glaring back as though he had a reason to be pissed off that I snorted at the thought. What the hell was he doing here? My mind yelled numbly out but with all the drinks that I had. I couldn't get my brain to ask the question. Instead his hand wrapped around my elbow and forearm dragging me out of the club onto the busy sidewalk and towards his car. The car really fit who Dimitri was, sleek black, chromed tire rims, black leather seats. This old muscle car was one you would have thought one of the Winchester boys drove around in, in supernatural._

_"What are you doing Rose...just what the hell are you doing here?" Dimitri growled out angrily his face harden as granite. Ohh how I wished I was more sober then this, I thought cruelly. Just so I could beat that holier than thou look right off his pompous ass that he calls a face._

_"Well you dragged me here or are you going senile in your old age. Don't you remember the whole dragging part" I asked tartly back wishing even more that I was sober. _

_Taking a deep breath and rubbing his head wearily. I smirked it felt good to know that I could still get to him with my quips. "I just meant here. The bar." He said pointing to the building beside us. Using the side of his car to steady myself and suddenly feeling queasy to my stomach. I smiled my best man eating smile that I could give. At the moment, however I wasn't sure if I was pulling it off. "You know having a good time, getting righteously plowed doing my best to forget about you and the princess...speaking of her where is she? More importantly what are you doing here? Don't tell me you came to save your fallen student from making a fatal mistake." I sneered out, letting the outside air sober me up some. _

_"Liss is back at court." The way he said her name, in knowing personal meaningful way made me flinch hard, that he saw it. "Eddie became worried when he saw you drinking and being on the dance floor with Adrian and called. Looks like he had a good reason to be." Dimitri said more with a mentoring voice._

_"So you and the princess huh?" I said more quietly watching Dimitri slightly pale that his eyes became somewhat pained then guarded. "Go back to her and quit wasting your time on me professor guardian Belikov. Just like you I'm free to fuck whoever it is that I want. And if I want to get drunk." I couldn't stop the cold chuckle that fell from my lips as I glared back at him. "Then I really don't need your permission to do that either...class is dismissed." I replied staggering away from him. _

_But I didn't get far when I felt his hand close tightly around mine again. He shouldn't of touched me, god I couldn't bear the feeling of his hand on mine as images flashed in my minds eye of seeing him together with Lissa. Skin to skin the soft moaning of lustful pleasure the way he had looked at her not knowing at the time I was looking in her eyes. The same line that he used on me echoing in my ears drowning out all other sounds around me. "Just looking at you hurts Lissa." God what a fool I had been. A real sucker that I lashed out and my fist slammed hard into his jaw the wailing battle cry of anguish soared and rocked heavily into my lungs. As the torrent of screams filled the space around us. I may have been drunk but Dimitri wasn't expecting me to go ballistic as my hands shot out with a striking combination punches. Spectators who was watching circled around us as my screaming brought on there attention. He blocked but wasn't fighting back and it made my fury grow even more. And I brought out my right leg making contact into his side Dimitri grunted, he would have bruised ribs come morning I thought happily. _

_"We're not doing this Rose." He said blocking the wildly placed aims that were targeting his face._

_"Fine then just stand there so I can mop the streets up with your face." I glared at him moving from a fighting stance into position for an attack. I had tried to do around house kick but Dimitri sidestep it moving backwards just out of reach._

_"This isn't how it's suppose to be." I messed up and made a mistake." His said dodging another set of combination punches."What happen with Liss and I was a mistake." He growled back_

_ _"A mistake." I repeated. "That's what you both called it, was a mistake? I asked breathing unevenly. "Was it a mistake when you told her how much it hurt to look at her? The very same thing you said to me at the cabin?" I asked and Dimitri stepped back avoiding two more combination punches that would have clipped him again in the face.__

_ Dimitri stepped back his face filled with pain as he looked at me to see what I would do next. Suddenly it wasn't worth it, he wasn't worth it anymore and I dropped out of fighting stance, lowering my fists. _

_"We wanted to tell you...hell I couldn't face you not after what I had done to you, when I was a Strigoi Rose. I just couldn't and Liss...she never meant to hurt you._

_I had cried a couple of times in front of Dimitri, both of which didn't have anything to do with my private life. When I felt the warm drops drip off of my cheeks I wiped them angrily away. He move to step towards me and I back off from him holding my hand out to stop him, as though I had been burned. I really had been burned by him, my soul mate, my lover, my mentor god Dimitri had played so many rolls in my life._

_"I was nothing to you other then another notch on your bedpost. So don't pretend that you give a shit now, you never felt anything for me. None of it was real, just some disillusioned teenage girl who fell in love with this?" I said sadly. "I'm leaving by the end of the week and the princess will need guarding." I replied flatly and Dimitri face harden again. I guess the class A jerk wasn't happy that I was going._

_"Looks like I haven't to taught you a damn thing Rose Hathaway." Dimitri said walking back towards his car. _

_"Sure you have guardian Belikov, you taught me how how to quit." I said softly then seeing Adrian who linked his hand back into mine pulled me back towards the entrance of the pub._

_"I think I would like to have another one of those blue drinks." Nodding his head Adrian pulled me back into the pub and Dimitri scowled back at the both of us. _


	5. Nothing Left

_I wasn't in the mood for the fruity drinks when I went back inside and Adrian must have picked up on it. As we went bumping back into the crowd. Making a beeline to the bar and sitting down on the stool. The bartender shifted me a flattering smile as his appraising eyes looked me up and down. "What will it be little lady?" His voice poured out thickly with an appreciative grin._

_"The hardest stuff you have and keep them coming." I replied back meeting Adrian's concerned face. Knowing that he knew that I was hurting and just wanting to feel numb to deaden the pain away. The first shot was a killer as the dark murky brown liquid scolded my throat going down, but the more I drank the heavier my head felt. I vaguely remembered seeing Eddie who was playing pool with a couple of other guardian's. Mia was talking to some other royal Moroi named Dane Zeklos. The more I tried to focus on what was happening around me the more my head swam from the dizzying affects from the alcohol. Until finally I did a face plant right on the bar table. The loud throbbing pulsated in every corner of my head, making it feel as though it was going to exploded. That it hurt just to move the over size melon on top of my shoulders, much less opening my eyes. I was on a bed that much I was sure of. As my hands glided over the cool soft sheets that felt good on my super heated skin. _

_The growing nausea was building as it tussled and lurched forward in my stomach. Opening my eyes my vision was blurry, as I tried to figure out where the hell I was. The room was way to small to be Adrian's, but none of that mattered as my stomach lurched violently forward again. Heaving my body out of the bed I went stumbling in search of a bathroom. Noticing for the first time that I didn't have any clothes on._

_"The bathroom is over there" He said and I froze pulling the sheets even tighter around myself. Stumbling in and finding the light switch. My stomach lurched again as the watery goo came rushing out of my mouth, just as my face reached the white porcelain rims of the commode. My stomach was so knotted and twisted that it heaved again bringing up more of the fowl stench. I felt his hands at the base of my neck drawing up my hair above my shoulders. As I collapsed to my knee's laying my head on the cold rims of the porcelain of the commode._

_"Oooh god so this is what it feels like to have a coyote ugly morning?" I choked out as more of the brownish sledge sprayed out of mouth drizzling from my bottom lip. The sicking smell of curdling alcohol cramped my stomach, choking and gagged me as more of the brownish watery sledge sprayed out everywhere. _

_" A coyote ugly morning what the hell is that?" Christian asked as I wiped the dripping vomit from my chin and I rolled my eyes absently. Looking in the bathroom I spotted my clothes that were hanging on the shower curtain rod. They looked like they had been washed and were hanging up to dry._

_"Last night... now... this... you... me...coyote ugly, ...ow god" I groaned out. How could I have slept with someone I considered my brother I mentally cursed out and went to the sink, rinsing my mouth out and washing my face._

_"I like my women with more of a pulse then you had and damn sure conscious. Where you on the other hand." Christian laughed and my face went beet red. I could feel the embarrassment spreading from my cheeks as I hung my head down, letting the shame wash over me. "You were so out of it that your mother and Mia brought you here and cleaned you up. You had puked all over yourself, it's nice to know Hathaway, that you can't hold your liqueur. I was the only one willing to babysit a drunk._

_Reaching over the shower curtain rod and grabbing my clothes holding them in my hands, I looked nervously back at him feeling myself blush even more._

_"My mother undressed me?" I asked feeling like a fool. "And... um..um...you and I um...we didn't." I asked wanting to approach this as delicately as I could. _

_ Christian suddenly wore a serious look his pale icy blue eyes darkening as he studied me and my breath caught. Raising his hand and threading his fingers through my hair, by the base of my neck I trembled. This was so not like us, different even weird but at the same time good really good._

_"Would it have been so bad Rose?" He asked looping his other arm around my shoulder so that he could look more into my eyes. "You and me...if we had. Swallowing hard I didn't know what to say and Christian thumbed my chin letting me go. "Get dressed." He said with a snarky gin, with the carefree light side of his humor returning back to his face. Suddenly tongue tied, my mouth hung open. Hell I was trying to remember how to breath let alone how to swallow a crater size lump that made my mouth feel as though I had gravel and sand in it. "Oooh when it comes to coyote ugly. Speak for yourself Hathaway most women think I'm irresistible, they just dig all of this." Christian said running his fingers over his chest, chuckling as he left the bathroom. _

_The shower looked inviting and I couldn't help myself when I climb in. The pouring jets of hot beading water sprayed and cascaded over my skin, The tiny drop size missiles coating my skin, sliding down towards the drain washing the stink of getting drunk off of me. My stomach still felt queasy and I was really sure that I had thrown up a lung somewhere in all that vomit. The pounding trumpets pounded away in my head, blasting away any and all reasonable thoughts like Christian's question. The room steamed up, fogging up both the air and the mirror. While I used Christian's soaps and shampoo maybe not the girly thing to do. It was the better choice then smelling like yesterday's and today's old puke._

_"When I climb out of the shower and quickly dried off. I put on the cleaned guardians uniform that my mother more then likely washed out for me. The sooner I left court the better. For me to get drunk over something like guy trouble. Wasn't my sort of thing that was something that Lissa did or one of her royal friends, not me. Shaking my head I glanced back at the girl in the mirror. I didn't want to be her, I didn't want to feel what I was feeling. I didn't want to be the other woman, as pitiful as it was, I was her and I hated it. Just as much as I had hated Lissa and Dimitri, they had done this to me, they made me her. _

_"You alright in there?" Christian called through the close door and I jumped. Grabbing his brush and combing out the knotted strands. I rushed to get out of the bathroom he must of thought I was crying or something._

_"Yeah I'm just using your brush to do something with this mess." I yelled back finishing with my hair that I had decided to pull back into a ponytail. When I opened the door Christian had changed out of his pajamas and was wearing a dark black men short sleeve collard shirt and a pair of black jeans. I mean he looked good, damn good in fact more so that it felt wrong to have noticed._

_"Do you always have to dress like your going to a funeral? Couldn't you try adding some color or something?" I asked frowning _

_"Good question Rose. I have been trying to get Christian to wear other colors for awhile now, maybe you'll have better luck." When I turned around Lissa was sitting on the couch with her hands neatly folded in her lap. She looked radiant with a soft silk powder blue shirt with white lace pin striping and a darkish navy blue skirt and and sandals. I rolled my eyes I wasn't expecting to see her here, but there she sat in the flesh and that was my cue to leave._

_"Latter Christian, thanks for letting me crash here last night." I replied tightly needing to get out of here before I got myself arrested again._

_"Don't leave on my account." Lissa said but I didn't miss the hint of anger brewing in the sound of her voice, by god she was actually jealous as though she had a right to be._

_I let out a bitter laugh, and shook my head. "Lets just say princess, I would rather not spend the rest of my time in jail before I leave court. So yeah." I snorted "I am leaving on your account." Waving my hand towards Christian and I. Again I snorted only this time sounding more of a deep growl then anything. "And whatever you think is going on here... Well even though it's none of your business, I didn't sleep with him, if that's what your thinking. I don't go around fucking my friends, that's your job...ow that's right you did." I glared back at her. She was staring straight at me, her perfect emerald green eyes looking at me, but not quite seeing me. Her bottom lip began trembling and her hands clenched into little tight fists, but Lissa remained sitting. _

_I moved quickly to the door and was already in the hall before anyone had a chance to stop me. I didn't even stop when I heard Christian's voice yelling after me down the halls. When I stepped outside the afternoon air greeted me and the bright sunlight fell on my shoulders. This was the time of day when all Moroi's were in bed, know doubt Lissa heard about last night and decided to check on me and her ex. I knew Rhonda was probably asleep, but if there was any chances of getting out of here sooner. Then having to wait another three days, then I was game. The longer I had stayed here at court, the more likely I was liable to get locked up again and neither one of them was worth my freedom. _

_Rushing back to my apartment when I opened the doors the place was cleared and I stood there standing wide eye at the site. Adrian I smiled...only he could have done this, he was often thought of as a miracle worker. The proof was in the apartment. To anyone else they would have thought I had been rob, but no the chilled bottle of champagne that sat of the plush carpet. Along with several dozens long stemmed roses, it was Adrian's handiwork and I was grateful. When I went in the apartment he had cleared the place out for me. Removing every trace of memories I had of Lissa and Dimitri. When I went into the bedroom, only the bed along with several tubes remained along with a note._

_My Dearest Little Dhampir,_

_To see you in such pain is more then I can bare. So if I can ease your pain for the short amount of time that you're here at court. Well then this is me doing my little part. I can't stay and watch you self destruct they way that you have been. However I do plan on being there when every you need me and that's a promise. Should the day come when you can open your heart towards me, then you know I'll be there. And should that day never come then I will be glad having you in my life as my friend. Take care my little Dhampir with all my love Adrian._

_Taking the note and stuffing it into my purse, and going over to the tubs labeled jeans I pulled out a pair of stone wash jeans, along with a gray sports sweater. This was more like it, my guardians uniform was okay but I was tired of wearing the same thing over and over again. Looking through my jewelry box and pulling out the lust charm. I slipped the gold chain charm into my purse then darting out of the apartment. Thankfully Adrian had only packed what was clearly mine from my clothes to my jewelry the rest he scraped just like I wanted. Just one less headache to worry about. When I walked through the courts towards the quorums. I could feel the eyes of the other guardian's on me, it wasn't everyday that they saw a guardian committing career suicide. By turning down a royal charge the way I had and not just any charge. But the last remaining Dragomir. Yeah to the others that was watching me, I was a freak and I knew it and so did they. _

_On the other side of the quorum was the residential living quarters to the advisory to the queen. A position that Rhonda had earned with her abilities to fortune tell through her tarot cards. Knocking on the wooden door I waited and shifted from side to side restlessly. I always hated my fortune being told, the last time that I was here with Dimitri. Rhonda predicted that Dimitri and I would lose what we valued most. Who would have ever thought it would be his soul. Don't forget his love for me, yeah right love I glowered to myself shifting again uneasily. The door opened and Rhonda was standing there with an inviting smile. She was dressed allot like Professor Trewlany from Harry Potter. With darken silk slacks and a silk blouse she had a afghan brownish shawl draped over her shoulders and incense filled the air, when she step aside letting me in. "Your so early Rose, but then again you must be very anxious to leave."_

_"I am." I agreed looking around the room. I was thinking there should be some cobwebs in the corner or red candles somewhere. Or even a crystal ball sitting as a center piece on some table somewhere. But nope there was a blush colored couch, matching recliner and throw rug on the wooden floors. Plants of every shape and size were everywhere along with family photos hanging on the wall. Rhonda looked normal, average and that was shocking. _

_"Have a seat Rose she gestured towards the couch and took a spot on the floor stretch her arms across the table. She kept her cards wrapped in orange silk and kept them in a box made from a magnolia tree, it was lined with cedar. Taking the cards and shuffling them. Rhonda flipped over the first card, but didn't say anything then moved to the second card laying it down beside the first and then finally flipping over a third as well._

_"This is known as the three fates." She said all mystical then glancing back down at the cards. "Your first card is the past the Towers reversed it means, a new lifestyle and enlightenment. A broken relationship, divorce, or failure in business or career. You and Dimitri." She said with sadness filling in her eyes. "Along with you giving up being Lissa guardian, and moving." Shaking her head she looked towards the second card. "This card represents your present the here and now." _

_"Hmmm this is the nine of swords and it meaning is puzzling Rose, it means mental anguish or ill health endured and overcome. Refusal to be dragged down by the dishonor of others. Attempting to avert a shameful or regrettable act. Faithfulness, patience and unselfishness. Narrow avoidance of a death or other catastrophic loss._

_"Like in Lissa case with with spirit madness, from using to much spirit right?" I asked watching her peculiarly. Did she really think I was going to let Lissa off the hook that easy._

_Tilting her head from side to side Rhonda took a deep breath looking lost in thought before she answered. Her gray sharp eyes watching me closely as though she was some kind of hawk. _

_"Yes and no, Lissa suffering from darkness is here. I see it, however there is a threat to someone who is closes to you, they are in jeopardy. But as to who well that is hidden from me, but it will affect our world as we know it. The last card is most interesting, it represents your future." Rhonda said pointing to the last. "This is emperor he is very wise and wields power and authority. He has a hand in our world and dabbles with our policy's and politics. He will be most important to you Rose, because through him you can change the hands of fate that threatens us all. So learn as much from this gentlemen as you can. Through him you'll stop the untimely death from someone who is closes to you." Rhoda sagged her shoulders as though the reading had worn her out. Her reading as usual was disturbing and very cryptic. _

_"Well now you know as much as I do." She said triumphantly. "Your emotions...is the key as well as forgiveness, but as to whom that will be, is your calling to figure out." Taking a deep breath I rose to stand and Rhoda came towards me giving me along hug. "I will miss you Rose Hathaway." She said smiling and I hugged her back. "Take care of Adrian and Ambrose for me." I said weakly knowing that I would miss them along with a few others. This was it and I knew that I was leaving, my heart as well as my head was already saying goodbye._

_" They'll be fine you just go and mend that broken heart of yours." Rhonda said walking me out of the apartment when Ambrose coming down the long corridor._

_I had one last place to go, know matter what I was leaving today. That much I had decided when I went to the gym. I didn't need answers, I just wanted closure. To say goodbye to Dimitri in my own way. __It felt strange going to the male Dhampir section of the court and getting the strange looks from all the guys that I saw. Flashing my best Hathaway man eating smile the loud whistling made me blush, when I passed by. The gym was crowded when I went in and Dimitri was sparring with Eddie. I hung back by the gym doors and watched the two men moving towards each other. Walking slowly to the bleachers to sit down and watch, along with a few other guardians that I had trained with._

_Eddie was the aggressor with the way he charged at Dimitri. He spun around kicking Dimitri in the stomach with a full body shot to the chest and Dimitri stumbled back, but didn't seem phased by the move, even pain didn't show in his eyes. When Eddie threw out a fist Dimitri moved to the side and grabbed his wrist with lightening speed, while his other hand gripped Eddie from behind the neck and slammed him hard up against the wall. With his arm pinned up behind his back Eddie used his other arm and clipped Dimitri with a sharp elbow to the side of the face and head. But Dimitri didn't relinquish his hold instead he brought up Eddie's elbow and wrist even higher into the center of his back stretching the joints and sockets in his arm. To avoid injury Eddie tapped the wall beside him grunting in pain from the choking hold that Dimitri had on his arm. _

_When Dimitri let go of Eddies arm he rotated the muscle in his shoulder, when he saw me he smiled brightly. His face lightening up but when Dimitri turned around his features harden. When his eyes met mine they turned into darken pools of coal. They looked almost black instead of being brown as he reached down picking up his towel mopping the sweat off of his face. Getting up from the bleachers and walking towards Dimitri he looked around at everyone in the gym._

_"Hathaway is there something you want?" Dimitri barked out the closer I got. My eyes narrowed he was acting like he had a reason to be pissed off and every muscle inside of me tightened. _

_"From you hell no." I glared back. "But I do have something for you...How could you do it? Was it to get back at me or was it to get even with Lissa?" Dimitri demanded and everything snapped and I lost it he thought that I had slept with Christian, just like she did._

_Throwing my purse down to the ground. I raced towards him, I wasn't drunk this time around but I was highly pissed off as both of my fists shot out which he easily blocked and Dimitri circled around me._

_"Your one to talk...you can't make up your mind if your with Lissa or if your fucking regretting it and you have the balls to say this shit to me." I snarled out. With a spinning sidekick that connected hard into his stomach. Dimitri pivoting on the balls of his heels of his feet moving swiftly to the side, back handing me hard across the face cutting my cheek and lip. Spitting the blood out onto the mat both of my elbows locked as I raised my fist to block whatever else he would throw at me. Which was no surprise he came back at me with full force combination punches clipping me both in the head and jaw._

_"So was that it Rose? You had to have a little payback, you know sleep with Christian. Stab that invisible stake of yours into Liss's heart. Or was this your grand effort in getting back at me." Dimitri snarled out and brought his hand back giving me a right hook. _

_Blocking as best as I could my head slammed hard into his face and I heard the familiar bones in his nose breaking from the hard swinging impact. Throwing both his hand hard into my chest. Dimitri flung me hard onto my backside but I spun around. Using my hands and legs, propelling myself forward into a standing position again. Throwing my own combination punches just as fast as I could. I used Dimitri's distraction of my fists, in poor taste and not being above fighting dirty. _

_My knee shot up bringing my left leg out, kicking him as hard as I could in his manly area. Dropping Dimitri like a bug, and rolling around on the mat gasping for air. He glared at me hard coughing and gasping at the same time. Dropping out of stance and going over to my purse, pulling out the lust charm. I could feel Dimitri eyes as they bored down into my back as though they could burn a hole clean through. Turning back around to Dimitri his face was red as his dark brown eyes watched me, while I wipe the blood from my lip._

_"I didn't sleep with Christian and if you think I did, then maybe you should talk to my mother and Mia. As for this." I said feeling the weight of the lust charm as it bounced softly into my hands. "It's just as cheap and meaningless as I was to you." I said icily cold and unfeeling as I could. Mustering every once of venom in my words that echoed throughout the gym. Tossing the lust charm at him, Dimitri blinked several times but the pain in his groin didn't allow him to speak as he laid there holding himself, when I walked proudly out of the gym._

_ As soon as I stepped outside my chest heaved in taking several deep breaths. Forcing air back into my lungs trying to get my breathing under control. Every part of me was shaking like a leaf and the tears that fell down from my face I wiped angrily away. Then bolted to my apartment and I didn't stop running for nothing until I had gotten inside, slamming the door behind me. Picking up the phone from the stand and calling the taxi cab. I gathered my things, walking out of my apartment and out past court. They last that I saw was my mom as she rushed over towards me._

_"Rose...Rose you wasn't suppose to leave until this weekend." Whatever she saw, she stopped. "I'll call your father Rose, he'll pick you up at the Ankara - Esenboga International Airport in turkey." _

_ Taking a tub from my hands I nodded my head stiffly towards her. "Dimitri... Lissa, they think I slept with Christian._

_"Well to hell with what they think Rose...you going to see your father... it's the best thing for you right now. Maybe by then things here will cool off and you can figure out what you want to do...As for Belikov I'll deal with him." Janine threatened her eyes flashing with boiling rage._

_"You don't have to mom." I said give her a small smirk as I wiped my eyes again. "I already did. When the taxi cab pulled up I gave her a long hug and tears filled her eyes. They wouldn't be ones that she would shed, it just wasn't Hathaway style. Coming running towards the gate was Christian. From the look on his face he knew what happened between Dimitri and I as he rush through the bars. "You were suppose to say good bye Rose." Wrapping his arms around me he buried his head into my neck squeezing me hard towards him. "You were suppose to say goodbye." He whispered by my ear as a shudder ran through him._

_"Nahhh fire-crotch and give you a reason to miss me." I laughed trying to lighten the mood. But his pale icy blue eyes wouldn't let me go as his hand drifted back into my hair._

_"Just make sure you stay in touch who knows." He said shrugging his shoulders maybe I'll come and see you." Rolling my eyes I gave a gentle laugh and kissed him on the cheek. "Later flamer. Tell Adrian to visit me in my sleep he'll know what that will means." I said pulling out of his arms and climbing into the taxi. Mom had finished loading the rest of my stuff in when the door closed. Waving my hand out the window the taxi took off and just when we were out of sight. I broke down crying all the way to the airport until there was nothing left. _When I boarded the plane I looked out the window saying goodbye to my home and to everything that had once mattered. _ _


	6. Just Another Day In Paradise

_Closing my eyes and allowing sleep to claim I rested for the long flight. The blackness was peaceful and welcoming, where thoughts of Dimitri and Lissa couldn't touch me. The blackness dissipated bringing a full ray of colors. On the highest slops of the mountain tops where the peaks had been dry brushed in white painted snow. The point from which I was standing on was a waking volcano. Bubbling and brewing with molten of yellows, reds and oranges from the lava chambers that spilled out in the seas below us. The over head sky was powdery blue with soft drifting white clouds. The fiery lakes of fire surrounded me from the sea's below that I thought my shoes were going to melt off on the rocky surface that I was standing on. Over head an eagle circled flying high in the sky, soaring through the air, as though it was circling it's prey. _

_"Adrian." I asked turning in circles looking from all along the face dwelling of the cliffs. It was amazing even though I was surrounded in fire. I couldn't feel any of the heat that should have been coming off from it._

_"So what do you think?" He asked coming from indenture of the cliff bluffs._

_"What do I think?" I laughed from the wonder of it all. "It's amazing, where did you dream up something like this?" I asked smiling as he walked over. Wearing a turquoise blue T shirt with emerald green writing across the top. Black slacks, he looked good, noticing that I was starring Adrian raised his eyebrow giving me a wink and I blushed. Even his wiry hair which was normally messy, was spiked up and had been jelled. Damn Adrian could clean up when he wanted to. The loafer shoes just set him off making him seem fierce and larger then life. Pulling out the pack of cloves cigarettes from his pocket he lite one up and the whites gray smoke circled around us.  
><em>

_"Just like you said in a dream. One night I was having a dream about the places that I wanted to see and well instead of some vacation hotspot I dreamt about this and it kinda stuck so...I thought I would share it with you. He explain then taking a long drag from his cigarette, looking back at me with longing shinning in his eyes.  
><em>

_"Adrian you shouldn't have." I replied giving him a long hug and looking down at the bubbling pools of lava. "It's nice. I like it." I said smiling back at him. His eyes twinkled and glow when he released me._

_"You left without saying good bye little Dhampir." Adrian said more quietly and I rubbed my arms over myself shifting around uncomfortably. _

_"Well if I waited much longer instead of visiting me in my dreams you, would have been visiting me behind bars. At the rate both Lissa and Dimitri were pushing me, I would have snapped, I damn near did a few times. I suppose now they'll be happy with me out of the way. I mean that's what they had intended all along remove me out the picture. Now Dimitri's clear to be Lissa's guardian and lover." I snorted bit unlady like._

_Scratching his head Adrian started laughing and I rubbed my arms more in agitation._

_"What's so funny?" I asked picking up a volcanic rock and tossing it into the moving Lava flow. _

_"Everything that you just said. Dimitri is far from being Lissa guardian, after the queen found out about the two of them being involved. She denied her request of allowing Dimitri to serve in the capacity. He's been appointed to be Jesse Zeklos guardian instead." I couldn't contain myself as I started laughing. The same boy Dimitri had caught me with so long ago. I couldn't stop smiling he was going to have his hands full with Jesse and I chuckled at the thought. _

_"Lissa she flipped when she went by your apartment and found it emptied out. She really didn't think you were going to leave. _

_"Good." I said abrasively not really caring what Lissa thought. "She'll get over it...just like she expected me to just deal over her relationship to Dimitri...well she can just deal with me being gone." _

_Walking back over towards me Adrian wrapped his arms around my waist and titled my chin to look into his eyes. "Your serious about letting the spirit madness getting to her aren't you?" He asked when I looked back into his eyes there was only sadness but none carried any judgment against me. _

_"I have been taking care of Lissa all my life and she does this...yeah I'm serious. The spirit madness can have her. I don't owe her nothing." I replied nonchalantly. "If I ever had a debt to Lissa for bringing me back, well she can just consider it paid in full. The tugging and pulling of the dream world flicked and Adrian sighed out and hugged me even harder as I fought the tug and pull from being awakened._

_"I'll see you soon little Dhampir." Adrian said kissing my forehead before the dream disappeared all together. _

_"Mrs. I was instructed to let you know when we'll be landing. If you look out your window, you'll see the city of Atayurt coming into view." When I looked out of my window I could see miles of blue ocean and a rough dessert terrain that lingered around the airport. The rest of the city from what I could see had large big buildings and trees scattered everywhere. "Home." I said sadly when the plane came down for a landing as it taxied down the runway moving slower and slower. Hearing the steady sounds of the brakes touching down on the tarmac. A few minutes latter the plane came to a screeching halt and I sighed wearily closing my eyes. When the loading doors opened I grabbed my few meager tubs and followed suit leaving the plane. However when my foot touched down there was four very sturdy male Dhampir's dressed in black business suits that were wired with radio receivers in there ears. _

_"We have her in sight." The tallest of the guardians said into the com. "You must be Rose Hathaway." He said taking off his sunglasses and snapping his fingers to the other guardian to take my tubs from me. "Your car is right this way Miss Hathaway... he explained putting a guiding hand on my elbow._

_"That's right where Zmey?" I asked looking the guardian over, he had to be at least six four built for his age. A well seasoned guardian in his late thirties early forties with light sandy blond hair and crisp blue eyes. Holstered to both sides of his armpits, was the shinning glint of metal, revolvers I thought dryly. Wondering why he was packing so much heat, but then again looking at the other three guardian's so were they. _

_"Mr. Mazur sends his apologies, he was held up with a business meeting and regrets that he couldn't be with you now. My name is Pavel and I will be your personal guardian."_

_Pinching the bridge of my nose, I looked him up and down and couldn't keep a straight face no matter how hard I tried. "You're um...going to be my guardian." I snickered unable to stop laughing, his face harden despite the guardian's mask that he wore. "Great the guardian needs a guardian." I laughed out even more. The extra stretch black limousine was parked in a private garage. Pavel opened the rear door for me, I was being treated like a Moroi getting the four star accommodations. Something that I wasn't use to nor did I ever think I could get use to._

_"There's a mini bar too your left and on the seat is some Chinese food that the chief prepared for you. Sure enough on the seat with a silver platter and silver lid covering it and rolled up honey golden table cloth napkins were my silverware. To the left of me were several brands of whiskeys and, scotches in a glass lined cabinet along with crystal goblets. On the floor was a compact mini frig. When I climbed in and opened it, there were several varieties of juices, water, sodas, champagnes. Just the works whatever kind of drink you could possibly want was there at my fingertips._

_"Welcome to Atayurt." Pavel said with a blank expression on his face, then closed the limo's door. Soft flowing music fill the car and I pulled the lid off of the silver platter. There was Kung Pow Chicken with steamed white rice, egg rolls. Mixed broccoli and cow flower with a savory sauce. The food smelled glorious as the aroma filled the small space. With my stomach growling I dug in enjoying the different flavors. Off to the side were three chocolatey eclairs. My food in records time was scarfed down in less then five minutes. By the time I had finished and pulled out a bottle of water. We was pulling into an estate called Florya ATATURK's house. It was surrounded by the ocean and miles and miles of lavish plush green grass and tree's. A large fountain was centered on the property spraying multi jets of color and water high into the air. When the limo circled around to the front of the estate, before I could open the door Pavel was standing there waiting with door opening along with the other guardian's that I had seen at the airport._

_"Is this going to be a regular habit?" I asked cocking my head to the side looking at the other three. "I mean I don't need this kind of protection, after all I am a guardian myself._

_Clearing his throat the other Dhampir in the back cracked a small smile just showing a small row of pearly whites his eyes were hidden by the sunglasses, he wore but he looked to be around in his mid twenties. His soft flowing jet black hair was longer but tied in the back with a leather braid and just like Pavel he was seasoned. Boy was he seasoned with the muscles that showed through his suit. "__Sizin bir veli iyi olduğu görülecek." He said looking over at Pavel who merely shrugged his shoulders, then walking towards the front doors of the estate._

_"What did he say?" I asked Pavel following closely behind "Doesn't he know any English?"__ I asked looking at the guardian who was holding the door for me._

_"He said that you being a guarding remains to be seen, and he'll only speak to you when you have earned his respect."_

_Well does he have a name?" I asked feeling my temper rising but not allowing myself to fall for the baiting of his words._

_"Miss Hathaway please let me introduce you to your secondary guardian Levent Berkant._

_"Guardian Berkant now that we have met, maybe you'll be more incline to remove that Turkish broomstick out of your ass. Then again maybe your part royal Moroi and just don't know how." I smiled cheerily back at him giving the old Hathaway man eating smile, then walked into the foyer of the estate._

_"I heard a couple of guardian's behind me snickering and one coughed and acting like he was clearing his throat. The place was huge as I walked in rushing towards the windows just so I could see the coast, from every angle that I turned to. The white misting foam clinging to the blue waves called to me. I had always wanted to see the beach and instead of being in one of Adrian's spirit induced dreams. I was really here seeing the coastline with me own eyes I couldn't wait to run barefooted on the soft sands. The palm tree's that were here, there was so many of them and they swayed in the breeze that I couldn't help but smile to myself this was what I needed._

_"__Saldırı şimdi__ " Turning suddenly at the sound of Abe's voice the three guardian's that had escorted me here. Were suddenly charging as though they were getting ready to attack. From there posture to even the hardness to there face. "This is going to be fun." I mumbled going on the defense. If Abe could order them to attack me, then everything in the house was fair game for me to use to defend myself. From any and all punishing blows that I surely was going to receive. However if they were going to dish it out then so was I. _

_Using the wall to back flip off of. I was ready as the guardian's now had there backs turned towards me. I didn't hesitate not even for a moment. Springing into action with roundhouse kick, eliminating a guardian before he had a chance to even turn around by a sharp kick to the head. he staggered backwards I didn't need to see his face to know it was lights out to him._

_"Goodnight Gracie_."_ I said airily then refocusing my attention on the others. Hell fair was fair, this fight just became two to one and I smiled. Pavel tried circling around me, the guy was a brute and very much seasoned when it came to his combat martial arts he threw out his combination punches. While I avoided taking any hits to the face his leg shot out clipping me hard into the side and I staggered back but shaking the pain off I could feel that tomorrow. _

_With my back forearm I smacked Pavel hard in the face with the bridge of my forearm and used his own body as leverage. With both of my hands on his chest and giving him a nice head bunt to the face. I was able to sweep out the legs from the other guardian off to the side of me. When he fell backwards I pounced ready to render him unconscious. Raking my elbow hard over Pavel's temple hard it was done. That when I notice him, Levent he was taking off his jacket and my lips pursed into a smile while I watched him. The muscles in his arms and chest flexed and bounced through the soft cotton of his white pressed shirt, with his fluidly movements when he moved. _

_"How sweet your getting ready for me?" I smiled with minor annoyance. Throwing his jacket on the side of the couch Levent pulled his sunglasses off, revealing the most intense startling gray eyes you have ever seen. _

_"__Şimdi sen benim için çok küçük bir hazır mısınız? Yukarıya sıcak yaşadım Şimdi? He said slowly rolling up the sleeves to his shirt. With his head turned towards the side he didn't take his eyes off me and I grinned that much more._

"_Translate old man and don't leave anything out." I replied looking dangerously back back at Levent._

"_He asked if you was ready for him, Rosemarie now that you've had your warm up." Abe explained not bothering to hide the laughter in his voice._

"_You tell me guardian __Berkant." I replied smugly as we circled around one another. Feinting his open palms out as though he was going to grapple. My movements mirrored his we both were testing the waters, feeling each other out. Wondering who was going to strike first. Levent decided he would be the one to make the first move, instead of charging at me with his fists. He spun out knocking my feet out from under me and I landed hard on my face grunting. Spitting the blood out of my mouth which now tasted metallic._

_ In a desperate move when he mounted my back, I pushed up hard against him clocking his face with another reverse back head bunt. The distraction was enough that I could roll towards my back. Levent was trying to clip me with combination blows of rights and lefts to my face. Arching my legs up towards his neck, which he tried to avoid. He had to defend himself from the left jab that struck his jaw, bouncing his head into my awaiting legs. Which I used to wrap around him and flip Levent off of me. Wiping the blood off from my mouth on the back of my hand. He smiled back at me showing just the small row of pearly whites. _

_"Laugh it up fuzz ball, first blood has been drawn." I said glaring back at him. Both of my fists shot out. First rights then lefts nothing more then jabbing punches which was easily blocked. However Levent was throwing out his own combinations, which I was blocking as well. The more he came towards me, the more stealthily that I blocked his strikes with my forearms. Spinning around my elbow clipped him hard into his ribs forcing Levent to staggered backwards. When I caught him in the mouth with my left hook._

_"That's enough you two." Abe said laughing hard apparently watching us both fighting it out, was entertaining. But I didn't take me shifting eyes off of Levent and he was doing doing the same with me. Pulling out his handkerchief and wiping the blood from his own mouth. The Turkish ass and I was even, blood for blood. _

_"Maria you can come out now." Abe said looking bemusedly back at me._

_"She adorable Abe and just as skilled as you said she would be." Maria said flattering back towards me and nervously I eyed Abe warily. _

_"Okay would someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?" I asked crossing my hands over my chest. _

_"You've just been hired Rosemarie. I would like to introduce you to your new charge, Miss _Maria_ Conta._

_"So all of this was for a job interview." I replied flippantly._

_"Not just any job interview. Maria is a royal and stands in line for the thrown." Abe said flatly and sipping his crystal goblet of _scotch_. Lowering my gaze and giving a small bow of respect She smiled back at me. "This one has been trained properly, from the marks of it by St. Vladamir's am I correct?" Maria crooned out._

_"And served in the royal court as well." Abe finished off. "I'll have Levent begin training with my daughter at once to make sure that she is suitable to meet your needs. _

_"Thank you Abe and you Miss. Hathaway it was a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you soon." Maria said smiling out and Levent walked her out towards the foyer._

_"I didn't come here for work old man. I can here to get away from work and everything else." I sighed out wearily rubbing my head in frustration._

_"And do what exactly Rosemarie? Hideout, feeling sorry for yourself...to mope around the estate and lick your wounds." Abe asked heading back from the direction he came leaving me to follow after him._

_"Something like that." I mutter back, down the long corridor what could be describe as a library. There were rows and rows of books, a large cherry oak desk cluttered with lots and lot of papers. A nice size computer monitor sat in the corner along with accessories, two burgundy chairs served as a sitting area along with a coffee table and large burgundy leather couch completed the room._

_"The best thing for a broken heart is work and you my dear will have plenty of that. Have a sit." Abe said gesturing towards the chair, tossing me a file. "While you are you here you will being guarding Maria Conta and learning four other languages. Your deadly now my guardian's will make you even more deadly, ruthless. You will learn the inns and outs of my business and will be expected to fill in my shoes. More importantly Rose, you will be expected to be just as savvy and harsh as I am. Absolutely no second chances, they can get you killed in my line of work. Do you understand?" Abe asked narrowing his eyes on me _


	7. Masquerade ball

_"You do realize old man that I hate you?" I said standing up and looking through the file that he had given me. _Feeling as thought I had stepped into the twilight zone of zmey's military boot camp._ Shrugging his shoulders and letting out a light chuckle he grinned back at me._

_"Rosemarie consider me like a fungus you'll learn to love me because I will simply grow on you." He said snickering out. "Now if you don't mind my dear I have work to attend to. Your room has been set up on the east corner of the wing have Styles or Bryant show you the way." He said picking up the phone and cradling it to his ear. "Ooh and Rose tonight we are having a masquerade ball, make sure your ready. It will be around sevenish or so tonight." _

_ "Alexander have you giving any thought of the proposal that we discussed." Rolling my eyes and leaving the library and trudging down the corridors I felt completely dismissed. The massive estate was huge, cloaked in rich cherry wood walls. Rich refined oil paintings of family members hung on the walls. Abe's taste was exquisite from priceless arts from Peru to Bosnia even Hong Kong. Everything from fine swords to hunting expeditions to the more finer things. Priceless relic's that he seemed to enjoy collecting, he seemed to have his hand in just about everything that he touched and it showed in his trophy case home._

_"It's a black pearl from the seas of China." The younger Dhampir said as I pressed myself closer to the glass curio cabinet._

_"And you would be...The man of your dreams, Miss Hathaway but the women from around these parts calls me Styles. That is because I have so many of them." He said smilingly back. With soft curling red hair that was spiky, but at the same time softly framing his face and blue eyes. It was hard to believe that he was Dhampir much less one of Abe's men._

_"Yes well I like my men who doesn't always make it so easy for me to beat up on them." I said teasing back._

_"I can be dangerous...just check out some of my moves...The old man said that you could show me to my room." I asked wanting to shut the self absorbed jerk up before my fist did._

_"Your room is right down here." He said leading me up through a grandmaster staircase to the second floor. The room was large, no correction massive and I swallowed hard. Never before had I seen so much space, the windows were open and I could smell the saltiness of the ocean tides floating into the room, while the waves crashed against one another from outside. The four poster king size canopy bed dominated the room. By the windows that opened out into the terrace was a large plushy gray couch and two dual reclining rocking chairs with large throw back pillows tossed on them. Hanging on the walls were oil paintings from when I was about three, that I stared in disbelief. Amazed that my father had even seen me._

_"If you need any help breaking the bed in just let me know, I'm really into sports." Styles said grinning then sauntering out of the room. Snapping my mouth closed I wanted to beat his ass again just for being crude "Apparently once downstairs in the foyer wasn't good enough for him." I muttered out. _

_On the bed was a red and golden nineteenth century burgundy red gown with golden trimming French silk lace to fit the bodice to the waistline. The way it opened up it was miles and miles of material. Beside it on the honey color silk comforter was a gold jeweled crowned mask with tiny golden leaves decorating the sides. There was so much tiny detail to it that the mask itself was breath taking._

_"Great who am I suppose to be Cinderella...the old man can't possibly expect me to play dress up." I glowered back at the ridicules costume._

_Not only does he expect it Miss Hathaway but Abe demands it. Look at this way it's your coming out party, where he announces you to his circle of friends... Camille... She said smiling back and walked into the room. Her long brown hair was french braided down the center of her back she looked to be my age with dark deer doe brown eyes and naturally tanned skin. _

_"Another one of Abe's close friends." I asked dryly wondering why this Dhampir knew so much about my father._

_"Nope try another one of his guardian's, he gave me the day off saying how it would make your transition easier if you had a friend." She chuckled. "So were going to pretend that we get along well for the old mans sake and from there will figure out the rest. _

_"Great just how many guardian's does the old buzzard have anyways?" I asked chewing on my lip then letting my hand run down the silkiness of the dress._

_Try an entire army a full elite squadron. We do reconnaissance rescue missions, secret oops.. stuff like that, they don't call us the best of the best for nothing." The dark look in her eyes, she had seen allot of action, that I didn't press the issue  
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_"And Styles is he just a slower learner or is he just brain dead?" I asked clearly not impressed. _

_Ooh him... he's new and so is Debian and Serena so they'll be four of you training with Levent." Camille said walking into the room and sitting on the bed looking at the dress._

_"Goody I'm back in school all over again and here I thought since I had worked over at the royal courts those days were over." I glowered back feeling the pressure of the day wearing on me._

_"When it comes to Abe." She said looking even more serious. "That's what you get for thinking, he has away of making things blow up in your face.  
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_"Listen it's almost time for the party so you should go ahead and get ready and I'll see you downstairs." The small glowing of her eyes and the sweet nature that she carried around her. Camille was someone who I could see myself being friends with, two points for the old man I thought when she left the room. Closing the door and going out to the terrace, the darkening skies was erasing all traces of the day and the moon was slowly peaking. It was going to be a full moon even the glowing embers of molten gold touched the ocean and reflected it's yellow hues on the watery surface. Several stars filled the nighttime sky. Letting out a deep breath with resignation and turning back towards the room. I pulled on the gown, in the bathroom was the curling iron and other girly things that Abe must have thought that I needed. Taking the iron and and styling my hair I felt like Bella from beauty in the beast or even sleeping beauty with the way the wavy lengths laid. With my pinned up ringlets cascading down over my shoulders, yeah I looked good. The walk in closet held a shopping mall of new clothes and shoes, off to the side was a large antique jewelry box. It was brimming with necklaces, earrings, bracelets and other things. Sucking in another deep breath. I nearly dropped the sapphire and diamond necklace on the floor that I had been holding. The damn thing was real, that's when it hit me. Everything in the jewelry box was real, all of it. Tossing the thing back into the box and looking myself once over in the mirror my jaw tighten.  
><em>

_"Time to go and get put on public display." I said boringly back at the image in the mirror. Grabbing the gold mask and pinning it into place in my hair, so that it covered my face. I walked down the stairs pulling the shawl around my shoulders. Down below it looked like a royal ball, with the hanging crystal chandeliers and the soft lights that filled the room. The men were dressed in tux's of every color and the women like myself were in these corny cheese ball gowns. The music was different from what I was used to, it had to be Turkish I thought. _

_Abe was standing at the bottom of the staircase when I walked slowly down. His eyes glittering and twinkling in delight as though he was waiting for some princess to come down and join him. "There she is, my daughter Rose Hathaway." He said smiling back." Abe looked outrageous in his bright teal tux with silver pinstripes on the side and the silver matching mask. He reminded me more of a painted stuffed peacock then anything. It was a good thing I was wearing a mask because he missed the murderous evil glare I gave to him when all the faces in the large room turned and faced me. God please don't let me fall my head choked out as my feet touched down on the last steps. _

_"You look lovely my dear." He said quietly towards me ear, when he kissed my cheek. _

_"And your dead meat old man." I replied just as equally soft, smiling back at everyone else in the room and he chuckled._

_"I would like you to meet a few of our guests...Miss Hathaway." Bowed a short stocky middle aged looking Moroi. I really couldn't make out his features from the brown mask that he wore but returned his smile. _

_"This is Alexander Voda and his son Wade...Abe said placing a comforting hand on my back._

_"Wade you and I went to the academy together didn't we?" I smiled even bigger remembering when Lissa had used compulsion on him, when he had mistreated a feeder._

_"Those are days that I would like to forget." He said looking away, know doubt he was remembering them as well._

_And over here you've met Maria Conta earlier this afternoon, this is her delightful sister Mirabel." Abe explained kissing her hand when she offered it. Swallowing hard I bowed. I remembered her as well she had a reputation of sleeping around with all the guys back at school, but with her sister there I kept my mouth shut. _

_"You should have seen her sis, this one is a fighter not like that lazy guardian Creed was._

_"Something that I still regret, I assure you." Abe said looking more seriously. "Her former guardian was killed during a Strigoi attack. Had he not been messing around." Abe said looking more directly at Mirabel then focused back towards me, clearing his throat. "If he had been looking after his charge the way he was assigned to do. Her personal safety wouldn't have been threatened. He left his post and it almost cost Maria her life." Abe said more regretful.]_

_"From the looks of it Maria was just clueless as to what Abe was implying about her sister._

_"Well I take my duties very seriously.. I always have." I added looking back at Maria whose eyes widen. "Abe I think I'm going to find one of your guardian's and see if they'll share a dance with me."_

_"Good...you go and do that and enjoy the rest of the evening." Abe said again then moving on. "Her family is one of the more prominent ones here in Turkey. They assist in helping me to enact policy's for the queen that will help protect the Dhampir's rights." Abe added. "Least to say the Strigoi's have marked Maria as a person of interests. There has been several attacks over the last couple of months so we know she has been marked. That's where you come in Rose. She needs someone that she can trust to keep her safe._

_"Well I think I can handle that. I kept Lissa alive all these years." I said thoughtful looking back over towards Maria._

_"I'm sure that you can but when you work for Maria remember that your my daughter and I expect to keep me informed of her." He said pointing his finger in her direction. I want to know her about's... who she sees and who comes in contact with her." Abe said turning his back from Maria._

_"Another words you want me to spy on her." I said bitterly "Always with strings." I mumbled out. Nodding his head in approval his eyes twinkled again and the snake smiled back at me._

_"Now lets go and have that drink...because you look like you could use one my dear." Flattening out the wiry whiskers of his mustache I groaned inward wanting the evening celebrations to be over._

_The tangy fruity drink reminded me of the ones that I had the other night with Adrian. It was good but my stomach was still queasy from the last time. Setting the full glass down on the counter, a tall Dhampir sauntered over, smiling his face was covered in the blue mask that he wore._

_"Um I know that look... you've had way to much time on your hands and looks like you have been thinking for way to long." He said eagerly, taking my hand and guiding me towards the dance floor. While another round of Turkish music started playing. He wasn't even trying to follow the steps that the other guest were dancing too. Styles was doing the whacky robot and even the funky monkey on the dance floor that I couldn't help myself from grinning. Rolling my eyes and walking back towards the spot by the bar where Abe was. A woman who he hadn't introduce me to was standing by his side. Royal, yeah that she was and beautiful, whoever she was, seemed to be taking an interest in the old goat. Just as I was about to join him someone grabbed a hold of my hand quickly spinning me around to face them. Bowing he didn't seemed interested in speaking instead he reached over lifting my hand with my elbow pointing down and my hand high enough by my face guiding me into a Turkish waltz. To say I was clumsy on my feet was understatement of the year._

_However my partner was patient with his hand held up every so often the hand that remained hidden behind his back came out to steady me and circle around his dance moves. If he wanted me to move me back three steps, then his hand lightly pushed me back. If he wanted me to circle around him, then again his hand guided me into the circle. _

_ Lifting my chin so that I could look at his face my feet slowed and I was sucked into Lissa head. _

_"What am I suppose to do?" She groaned out. "I can feel it building inside of me like a pressure cooker." Lissa said wringing her hands together her sharp emerald green eyes were glossy. Tossing the brush down on the counter and moving away from the mirror._

_"Try cutting back on using the magic." Dimitri replied his face suddenly close to hers. "Or see if Adrian can start making you some charms to suppress the darkness."_

_"It's just I didn't think that it could build up so fast." She said sounding nervous, suddenly Dimitri face seemed closer and I heard Lissa moaning softly. I felt Dimitri hands slid around over her hips. The rough feel of his calloused hands moving over her skin was electrifying. The unexpected firm pressure of his lips as his mouth slid skillfully over hers left me shuddering. Lissa was lost in the moment as her hands crept up and circled around his neck. Wrenching myself out of Lissa head I blinked rapidly._

_Looking back at my dance partner and blinking even more rapidly. I felt the tears prickling in the back of my eyes. The look on his face was one of worry and concern, but he gave a half bow.  
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_"I'm shadow kissed, I tend to zone out like that from time to time. I'm so sorry..." I choked out seeing his troubled gaze while I grabbed the hem of my gown and took off running. I didn't stop once as I passed through the front doors feeling the tears spike down my eyes. The warm water droplets dripping down my cheeks. I kept running along the side of the seawall coast. Stopping long enough and taking off my shoes and throwing them into the rushing tides. I ran bare footed on the sands, feeling it squish between my toes. Dropping down on my butt, breathing hard and looking at the rolling waves the tears fell long and hard from my eyes. Mental images of Lissa and Dimitri appeared into my head. "Damn him." I shouted angrily. "It's not fair he was suppose to be mine." I yelled out wiping my face. _

_ I must have sat out on the sands for hours watching the angry tides slamming into one another. The rushing water would comeback towards me then drift off just as fast away. From the quiet settling of the house. I went back towards the estate it had quieted down and from the looks of it our guests had left. With the rising of the sun I stretched and yawned noticing Abe must have went to bed for the day. Climbing into my own bed, the darkness pulled me under._

_It wasn't until I felt something freezing cold and wet soaking both me and the bed that I opened my eyes._

_"What the hell?" I snarled out rabidly grabbing whatever dry piece of sheet that I could find to cover my freezing body up._

_" __Zaman, Daylights yanan kalkmak ve şekil Hathaway içine misable eşek almak zorunda.(Time to get up, daylights burning and I have to get your miserable ass into shape Hathaway.)" Levent said with amusing look on his face, even though he had his guardian's mask on. I swear his lip quivered with the need to smile. In his hand was a large five gallon bucket and now all over my soaked bed were chunks of ice mixed in with water. The self righteous prick drowned me in ice water. Glaring at him murderously his eyes flashed challenging back at me._

"_Here a universal language." I huffed back, throwing back the bird."Let's see if you can translate that." Grabbing a nick knack off the stand and throwing it at him, hitting hard in the arm he backed away slightly. Instead his stupid smile grew even more while he walked out the door._

"_On dakika Hathaway. Seni on dakika vereceğim. ( Ten minutes Hathaway. I'll give you ten minutes." Clearly the prick wanted me to get up drenched in water and soaked and cold to the bone. I dragged my tired body from the bed. It was time to face the evil prince charming for the day._

"_Who gets up at this time of day anyways?" I yelled out noticing the sun was still up._


	8. Counting To A Hundred

_In the dresser the old man had thought of getting training shorts and sport halter tops. Remarkable when I look down at the different shorts,sweats, tops and halters everything was in my size. Pulling out a turquoises blue halter top that tied around the neck and a pair of gray shorts and quickly changing. I ran the hairbrush threw my hair pulling it up into a ponytail, when the phone on my night stand started ringing._

"_Hello." I said into the receiver then looking at the clock, knowing Mr. Pain in my butt was going to be mad that I was late on the first day. _

"_Who is devilishly handsome? Can throw flames from their fingertips a mile away and still find the time to call you up, just to make you smile?"_

"_Flamer." I said smirking back. "You should really be using those talents on someone who can appreciate them." I said jokingly back._

"_Yes but where would the fun be in that? When I can just as easily bug you." He laughed into the receiver. "So how are you settling in? He asked lightly, but I could hear a hint of sadness in his voice._

"_Well my old man is loaded and I mean loaded. Um he gave me a rather unique job interview shortly after I landed. Oooh here the best part, I'm back in school with this Turkish commando. Who in short is a few screws short of being a total nut job. He makes Dimitri look like a saint." Pausing I caught my breath just to see Levent standing at the door with his arm folded over his chest glaring at me in an irate way that made my skin crawl. Then he shifted positions, pointing at the watch that was on his wrist. Crap he was listening to my conversation with Christian._

_Christian was chuckling in the background which brought another smile to my face as I turned away from Mr. Jerk 101._

"_Somebody worse then Dimitri. Ahhh the world will rule the day when they pissed off Miss. Hathaway." He chuckled again. _

"_So how is everything back at court? I heard myself asking, for some reason I really did care about what was going on back home. I had missed my other friends and some of my colleagues but just not enough to go back. _

"_So your not spying." Christian said more soberly. "Well a bloody message written in animals blood was scrolled all over the cafeteria walls. Saying one down one to go until the Dragomir line is no more. Whatever the hell that's suppose to mean. Dimitri has been trying to rally the queen in assigning more guardians for her. But the queen isn't taking the threat to seriously and Dimitri is just having a cow over it._

_'Well of course he is." I snorted sounding rather indignant. _

"_You should know they broke it off after you left." Christian said more quietly._

"_Sure they did, that's why I got sucked into her head last night. His hands were all over her. Broke it off my ass." I could feel my face reddening from the thought and shuddered from the memory of feeling his lips on hers. Over... Not my head screamed._

_"Well I was going by what Lissa said." Christian added. "I thought ahh hell Rose, I don't know what I thought. She just sounded so sincere._

_"Yeah I'm sure she did, but that's only because Lissa wants me to take the spirit darkness from her." I laughed cruelly back.  
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_ When I turned around Levent was tapping his foot impatiently. I could feel my own temper rising as I met his hard glassy stare, gray eyes and all._

"_Listen remember what I said about my commando nut job...yeah what about him?" Christian asked cutting me off._

"_Well he's standing here, apparently I'm late for class." Christian started chuckling on the other end which only lighten my scowl._

"_When have you never made a man wait Hathaway?" He said tauntingly back. "Well you ugh have fun with school and I'll catch up with you some other time. Alright? Ohhh and by the way...yes." I answered back not wanting to hang up._

"_Go easy on the poor guy. I doubt he's ready for the likes of you...Don't be so sure of that." I said sarcastically, just to hear the line from the other end good dead. Replacing the phone back on the hook Levent was shaking his head. _

_"What?" I asked back challenging the prick stubbornly and walking towards the door._

_"__Ben Hathaway on dakika dedi. Sadece on dakika ve zaten sana kapalı Kaytarmak yakalamak. Ump ... ve kendinizi bir veli çağrı." (I said ten minutes Hathaway. Just ten minutes and already I catch you slacking off. Ump...and you call yourself a guardian._

_Spinning around so fast on Levent, so that I was facing him. My finger poked hard into his chest._

_"Get this straight guardian Berkant. I have no clue as to what the hell you just said." Before I could finish the rest of my ranting. Levent gripped a hold of my wrist twisting my whole arm until it was nestled between the shoulder blades of my back. My chest was slammed hard in the hallway wall of the east wing. Quick reflexes kicked in and my other arm shot up slamming my elbow towards the side of his face. Equally he reacted as well using his free arm to cradle the crown of my head and slamming it into the wall making me see stars. Bringing up my right leg and kicking him hard in the shins backwards. His grip on my wrist faltered and I spun around quickly facing him. Bringing up my left hook about to clock him again in the caught a hold of my other wrist in mid air his lip twitching in satisfaction. Slamming it just as hard backwards into the wall as he could making me cry out from the sheer force of the blow. We both were breathing hard and I glared at him with daggers wanting to carve a large size hole into that smile of his._

_"Keep grabbing me like the way that you are ___Gendarmerie and you'll give the others guardian's the impression that you actually like me." I huffed out into his cryptic gaze.__

_"___Eğer bir aksilik ile üzerinden yapıyorsanız, gitmene izin vereceğim."(____If you're through with your little tantrum, I'll let you go.)" Both of us was at a stand still where if we were going to fight it out, then we was going to fight it out. But for the moment neither one of us really wanted to. Slowly I felt Levent release the tension in my hands as he let go of both of my wrists.__

_"___Şimdi sahilde beklediğiniz."(____I expect you on the beach now.)" He said with his eyes raised and pointing towards the door.__

_"_You want me to go outside? I asked and he nodded his head in response. This whole damn language barrier was getting to me as I brushed past him going outside.__

__On the sea shore Styles was stretching along with ___Debian, Serena ___ and he let a a long wolfish whistles as I walked up. Off to the left of me was a training area with barb wire that was about twenty inches off of the ground. The sharp metal circular wire looked grueling and my heart sunk. Know doubt the Turkish prick expected us to train through there. Just some quality training exercise my mind snapped bitterly.__

_"_Great here comes the princess." Serena said when I started stretching out. __

_"_Surely you have me confused with some other Dhampir." I said sitting down on the sand and flexing my toes, then pulling my head and hands towards my feet. Remembering to keep my kneecaps straight while, I moved the upper trunk of my body towards my toes.__

_"_If you think I'm some kind of princess then you should learn who my last charge was...princess." I chuckled out." I think not." I said feeling the familiar burn in my leg then switched off to the other leg. When Levent came out on the beach he was holding some walking stick. If he was god himself all the chattering stop while all eyes watched him except for mine. Respect had to be earned and he sure as hell was lacking in that department.__

_"___Ayaklarının üzerinde herkes." (____Everyone on your feet.) He ordered out. Looking at the others I got myself to my feet taking a few steadying deep breaths.__

_"__Kata duruş." (Kata stance) He said towards the group. Great of all things he was teaching. Kata is a karate move that I had learned along time ago and he was going to reteach me this. Styles, Serena and Debian started in on the steps with their right forearms arched at the elbow and turned outward towards the side of them. So that their fists came down just above their heads. While their right fist rotated outwards in a punch. Then moved back inwards towards their stomachs. Their left leg swept out into a mid stomach kick, while the right foot moved forward, when the left foot came back. At best they were at beginners level something Dimitri had surpassed me on ages ago.___ Grumbling and following through with the moves. I lost track of time staring at the waves. Kata in itself was just as graceful as a dance however with more of a focus with balance, blocking, punching, kicking and strike by moving forward. When I look back over at Levent he was shaking his head again in disapproval.__

_"_What...I bellowed out...I'm past all this. I have been training everyday since I was small and you want me to do this beginners crap?" Taking the pole that he held in his hand. Levent wanted to show me up by proving to the others how little attention I had been paying in my balance. Swiftly and fast he knocked my feet out from under me and I fell flat on my but in the dirt. Then he pointed towards the training area.__

_"_Now you've done it." Serena laughed out. "He wants you to do the belly crawl through there." She said smirking back at me.__

__Looking over the large area my jaw tighten and I glared back at him.__

_"_How many times?" I asked challenging him again. "Me and this guy was really going to have it out." I growled when he smiled back at me. Taking off his sunglasses he made damn sure I saw the twinkle in his eyes, then held up his hands flashing them ten twice in my face.__

_"_Fine you want me to go through that course twenty times, you arrogant pig then say it. Rosemarie go through the course twenty times." I said belligerently kicking the dirt on his shoes.__

__Shrugging his shoulders his grin broaden even more. (___Ince Rosemarie lanet ders yirmi kez geçiyor. Sizi asla bana İngilizce olarak söylemek istediğini söyledi_."_(Fine Rosemarie go through the damn course twenty times. You never said you wanted me to say it in English._

"_Hey Hathaway I can help with the belly crawl." Styles said rubbing his hands all over on his chest and stomach, then shimming his shoulders in a crawl kind of way._

"_Styles." Levent yelled out and pointed towards the training area. Groaning out load he took off running and I slowly walked. Levent would just have to deal with me doing things at my own pace. Styles had gotten down on the floor of the sand and the razor wire was just a couple of inches from his head. He used his shoulders, elbows and legs to push him through. Yeah Mr. Charming had military prep school down pat. I thought sourly when it was my turn to grind my elbow and knees to move me forward through the sand to the other side and I had to do this twenty times. A few times I felt the burning swat from the damn stick that Levent hit me with. If my head was to high or my shoulders and legs weren't moving fast enough._

"_So Styles." I said breathlessly running back to the end of the course just to start over again. "Still feel like doing the belly crawl with me." I sneered getting back on the ground and propelling myself forward again. _

"_Bite me Hathaway." He grunted out, Levent's stick cracked him hard in the head as I crawled past him. _

_When the twenty laps were over we broke for lunch. Hell I was still hungry from missing breakfast. Running up to the estate my nose followed the delicious smell of food and my stomach rumbled in protest. I was so hungry I could eat cardboard at this point and call it good. Thankfully Abe's chief came to the rescue so that I didn't have to take such drastic measures. Before I even gotten to the silver platters that was waiting for us. I knew it was homemade lasagne and mouth watering garlic bread and caesar salad. Taking my food back outside to shorelines and sitting down on the sandy beach I dug in. Styles __Debian __and Serena joined me. So much for being alone I though whimsically._

_"So you really were a guardian back at the court?" Serena asked, nodding my head with a hearty bite of lasagne stuffed in my mouth. I pulled back my ponytail showing off my_ molnija marks.

_"What about you how did you get cursed to being here?" I asked shoveling another bite into my mouth then my can of Pepsi._

"_You're serious?" ___Debian asked me with cursorily and sounding rather shocked towards my attitude.__

_"_Of course I am. I mean I have my own reasons for being here and working with Gendarmerie over there isn't one of them, but what about you guys?" Styles about choked on his garlic bread and Serena started laughing.__

_"_We're here for the program. You know the secret oops mission only a selected few gets the chance that we're getting." She said forking her salad.__

_"_Ahh in that case you can have my spot. I'm only doing this because of the old man. I said looking back at our fearless leader. He sure was making it a point of making my life a living hell, as he walked over and sat down beside us.__

_"_Rose was just explaining to us that she doesn't want the spot." Serena said looking over at Levent. Her nervous laugh and the twining of her golden locks around her finger and the way she was batting her emerald green eyes at him. Was a dead give away that she was into him. Great and the award goes too, miss tattle tell of the year my mind jumbled out.__

_ "_You should see the molnija marks on the back of her neck. This little lady is a scrapper she been to a couple of battles herself just like you. Plus has made several independent Strigoi kills." Styles said sounding impressed. But Levent just kept on eating anyways as though Styles hadn't spoken at all. With him wearing those heavy sunglasses of his there wasn't anyway to judge his reaction. Even if his sunglasses had been off something told me I still wouldn't have been able to. __

__When lunch was over Levent ushered us back towards the estate where it was language and literary classes. I had always wanted to learn Russian and that was because of Dimitri. The soft flowing sexy accent words hit me hard. Like razor blades prickling tiny holes out of my heart, when I heard Jillian Kozlov speaking. Just to hear her go over the lesson plan physically hurt. How many time did he say I love you Roza in Russian or would hum a Russian lullaby to me? So many times I had tried to get him to teach me the language, just so I knew what he was saying. However Dimitri refused, sure I wanted to broaden my cussing vocabulary dictionary. But in all honesty I had wanted to learn his language to make his words so more personal. I tried really hard to not let it show, but the pain in my heart was still there. Then she moved on to Turkish, like I hadn't seen that one coming. __

__Taking more of an interest and opening the books that she provided, I followed the lesson. What was shocking was when she started speaking in Italian. This was my routine for weeks, first thing in the morning Levent would come into my bedroom with that damn five gallon bucket of his full of ice water soaking me to the bone. Then going off outside side doing Kata and training at the training circuit with the razor wire. Levent would spice things up a bit with new moves but he remained quiet, elusive and his hot headed temper always at the surface. But this morning was different. I snickered while I waited for him to open the door. __

__Armed with the bucket and my bed being made up to look like I was still sleeping in it. I waited with my own bucket in hand. Levent dumped the full bucket of ice water on the empty bed and his body twitched with success. Just as soon as he turned around his stern piercing gray eyes met mine. I smiled and heard him say my name questionably as I soaked him from head to toe. With my own bucket of ice water, paybacks were a bitch and I just had mine. __

_" __Kadın küçük b toplanıyor Aptal çekilmez, domuz kafası...hey now wait just a minute." I said cutting him off and starring back into into those harden granite gray eyes of his. "I'll agree I am insufferable and pig head, I'll even go as far to admit that I am a convening female. But I am not stupid and if you go to call me a bitch one more time." I glared back at him daring just daring for him to try any thing "Then I'll beat the living shit out of you... you got that ___Gendarmerie?" I snarled rabidly back at him. Running a frustrated hand through his hair. He threw his bucket down hard on the ceramic flooring and it bounced up hitting me. Sucking in a deep breath and squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I mentally counted to a hundred. A few seconds latter I opened them, still taking deep breaths just to keep from flipping out while I watched him stalk out of the bedroom.__


	9. The Princess And The Guardian

__The brooding face that he wore was insulting. Levent had been nailing me for weeks with his bucket of ice water. Turn about was fair play, as far as I was concerned. When I joined the others on the beach they shifted their worried glances towards me.__

_"_What did you do." Serena asked out. Even Styles who always had something to say was unusually quiet this morning. __

_"_I got even and if he pisses me off again. I'll get even with him again." I said matter of factly. Pulling my leg behind me and arching my toes I leaned down stretching the back muscles in my thighs. When Levent came out he was holding the walking stick in his left hand. Even with the heavy glasses on you could since the trouble brewing in the air. But his bad mojo just wasn't phasing me a bit. With my hands on my hips I remained quiet as he approach the group. Before he spoke he pointed to the training grounds at me, and that was when I was ready to flip my lid.__

_"_No." I glared staying put and again with the walking stick he pointed towards the razor wire. That's when I started laughing and I couldn't stop. As though I had lost my mind, for the life of me I couldn't stop laughing. Beside me I could hear Styles starting to snicker even though he was making an effort to conceal his. Looking over at Serena she was smirking but Debian remained hard an aloof as ever. __

_Hitting me in the side with the walking stick, my laughter died down into a chuckle and my eyes narrowed on him. _

_"Maybe I had it wrong, maybe Styles here isn't the one brain dead after all. Maybe you are and maybe your deaf to because I said no." Levent took off his shades stuffing them in his pocket and took a defensive posture towards me. I looked back at him chewing hard on the inside wall of my cheek._

_"Your really in trouble now." Serena choked out her eyes going wild between Levent and me. _

_"My money is on Levent." __Debian __said handing Serena a five dollar bill. _

_Styles reached into his back pocket pulling out his wallet and taking out a five dollar bill then handing it to her. "Well my money is on Rose." He said confidently his eyes looking back at me with some kind of pride. _

_ Serena pulled out her own money as well. "Mine is on our instructor. There is no way princess over there knows more then he does and if she does I'll cut my hair._

_"Ahhh _Serena _." Unable to not with stand their bet between me and Levent. "Why not make it real interesting if I win and I do know more then him." I said looking challengingly back at Levent who only flashed a small row of pearly whites at me. He was enjoying this as much as I was and I smirked back at him. "Then you'll have to shave your head... your whole head bald." _

_"Fine but nobody here has ever beaten Levent." Serena said watching him with memorizing eyes. I wanted to puke right then and there he wasn't the best. "Even Dimitri could take this guy." I mumbled back out._

_ He circled around moving the walking stick in a twirling circular motioning as though he was twirling a baton. He was looking for an opening to strike me with it. With both my fists curled and my legs spread at the right angle. We both moved around each other, when Levent threw out the stick. In a leg sweeping movement to knock my feet out from under me. I back flip away from him. Again he came at me with a jabbing strike, with the stick which I dodge and ducked out under. _

_When he came back towards me again jabbing the stick out. I back flipped just far enough out of his striking reach and brought a full combination punches. Slamming hard my right fist once in his stomach and my left fist once in his face. I had gotten through his defenses of the stick. Which he had no choice but to drop his stick to block my punches. _

_Even though I was throwing my combination punches and he was blocking them with his own punches that were only landing on my forearm. My left leg advanced forward and clocked him in the stomach with right. Then spinning away from him, my left fist shot out slamming into the hard wall of his jaw. He staggered back grunting and glaring at me hard, when he front flipped forward. _

_Swinging both his right fist that snapped against the side of my head into my temple, making me instantly sick and seeing stars. Then his other fists, swung out hard hitting me in my jaw. Thinking he had victory over me, Levent went to sweep my feet out from under me. Taking us both down to the ground and I used my legs wrapping them around his neck. While he straddle over me trying to land another punch to my face, which I easily blocked._

_ Flipping him off of me when I caught Levent's neck in between my legs, just to spin back around to my feet. Just before he had a chance to make it back to his knees to get back up to his feet. My left leg raised up into a face forward kick, hitting him between the nose and eyes. Levent dropped to his back with a soft padded thud on the sand. If I wanted to finish him off I could have. Panting hard I walked over to Levent and offered my hand. _

_" If you through... I believe Serena needs a haircut." I gasped out. For the first time in weeks Levent smiled and took my outstretched hand into his._

_But Levent wasn't finished, he jerked my wrist forward to delivery a well place kick to my forehead. When his right foot move back, I shook it off. He rolled to the side picking up his stick. Then snapping up to his feet using the stick as a means of blocking my attack._

_"Hey that's cheating." Style bellowed out._

_"There's no such thing as cheating when your fighting Strigoi's__." Debian argued back and he was right. I should have known it wasn't going to be easy to defeat him. Levent he was damn hard to beat, and I was grinding my teeth in frustration. But not him he was as cool as a cucumber. ___

_"See I told you no one has ever defeated Levent." Serena sneered out cheering him on. Swallowing the bile that rose up to my throat, when Levent advanced on me again. I did the equivalent to a super man punch, but it was with my foot instead. In a face kick that even Levent didn't see coming. He tried at the last minute to defend the blow with his stick in the form of a block. I had put everything I had into that flying front facial kick, snapping his stick in half. Levent went back hard on his back on the sand making another thump. _

_He was dazed for a few seconds, but I quickly recovered picking up the two broken halves of his sticks. As though they we sais. I was on guard, one over my head and the other thrust out as though I was ready to stake him. If he charged at me again I would. Tightening my chin I waited, breathing hard and glaring back._

_"Good Rosemarie now you advance to level two." Levent said getting up, his body language relaxed. Maybe I was hearing things, for a moment there I could have sworn he had said my name. That I blinked but didn't change my stance. I gasped out for my next deep cleansing breath of air. It had to be my imagination, his voice was deep and heavily accented with Turkish. However it was the way that he spoke that sounded sexy as hell._

_"Rosemarie...he said more softly slowly approaching. But the adrenaline was pumping hard through me. It wasn't so easily to snap out of. The wild racing of my heart, the excitement was a head rush that flowed through me. When Levent step in front of me his hands took the first stakish stick into his hand, dropping it to the ground and then grabbing the one over my head._

_"Class dismissed." He bellowed out loudly over his shoulder. That I jumped ready to go on the defense again._

_When he suddenly moved, I launched my body into action throwing up my back forearm to strike his face. Levent grasped my upper arm and elbow tightly and then pivoting to his side he flipped me hard on the sand. My eyes narrowed and squinted on him. That I brought up my leg kicking him in the head, just as he bent over. I was so enraged that when he fell I climb on top of him. With the intentions of burying my fists into his smug face. Using his weight against me he rolled me over and sat back on his hunches. Levent picked me up around my waist as though I didn't weight anything at all and carried towards the waters of the ocean._

_"Rosemarie...you have got to get control of yourself. This is more then just a simple fight." He said while I continued squirming in his arms to get away. I tried head butting him and when that didn't work. I tried kicking him in the shins. For a second I had the sensation of being airborne. The frigid waters pulled me under, when I flailed my arms out around my sides. Just to get my head to break the surface of the waves and taking a mouth full of water in the process._

_The more I struggled and fought against the waves and Levent. The more I felt pressure gripping my head and pushing me back under the water. Then releasing me and my head would bob back up to the surface. I would try fighting all over again, until I was forced back down beneath the waves. Only this time I had the sensation of drowning and taking in another mouth full of water. Levent must have sensed a change, because he pulled me quickly back up to the surface. Dazed and disorientated I coughed out the salty water. Trying to catch my breath when he dropped me on the sands. I covered my head in shame. Darkness, Lissa damn spirit darkness had seeped into me. Coughing and shaking at the same time. I felt a terry cloth towel drape over me. _

_"Does that happen very often?" He asked. _

_It hadn't been my imagination as I looked back into his gray eyes. Levent really had spoken to me._

_"It use to when I would take my bond mates spirit darkness from her. She must be using allot of spirit for it to seep into me like that." _

_But you don't take it anymore?" He asked worry etching across his face and his gray eyes staring unmoving across mine._

_"No I quit doing that for her weeks ago." I replied not wanting to talk about Lissa._

_"So something happen between you and your friend, that is why you are here?" _

_"Yes." I replied nervously and shaking from the coolness of the breeze. Seeing that I didn't want to talk about it anymore he let his head drop slightly to the side. A small grin appeared over his face, showing just a small row of his pearly whites._

_"So was the fight fair?" He asked with his hand raised in a gesture._

_"Ohh yeah that was all me, all of it right up towards the end." I said pushing myself off of the sandy beach and wiping the sand off of me. "So what is level two more ice water?" I asked when he got up to his feet and we both started walking back towards the estate. _

_"No." He said laughing as he climb up the steps with but me, but it does include more __vigorous__ combat training and not just the circuit either. But on the actual training grounds themselves. Your good Rose maybe to good, but time will tell if I can make you better." Stopping in mid stride I grabbed him by his arm stopping him from going to the estate._

_ _"You have to tell me because now I'm dieing of curiosity._Did you at any point hold back." Levent's eyes darken turning even grayer if that was possible and he let out a low chuckle, nodding his head. Then he started walking off into the estate._

_"That Miss. Hathaway is for you to find out." Letting out a frustrated sigh and trudging into the estate, damn the man he wasn't going to tell me. The smell of food was a calling as I went in. The smell of chicken Terazzini filled the air around me and my stomach growled heavily. Damn Levent, again he had made me skip breakfast for our fighting. However before I could get to the delicious heavily silver platter. The loud squealing Of Mia caught me off guard as she came running into the dinning halls of the estate. _

_Along with Eddie, then followed by Christian, Adrian and my mother who wore a grim expression. Then I saw why Dimitri and Lissa came into view. Swallowing hard and squaring off my shoulders and taking several deep breaths. I figured this was Abe's doing for the several weeks of training and all the hard hours of work that I had put in. This had to be some kind of test to see how I could handle a difficult situation under pressure. I mean he couldn't be that cruel could he?_

_"Mia." I said smiling back at her. "What are you doing here?" Then giving her along hug._

_"Ugh Rose your dripping wet." She laughed back then letting me go. Eddie didn't seem to mind sharing a hug with me, quickly he picked me off of my feet, spinning me around and around until I had gotten dizzy. Before she had the chance to answer my question._

_"Well the twelve royal families are having a meeting here in a couple of days and we had to see you, so it all workout." She said grinning from ear to ear._

_"You look thinner don't they feed you here." Eddie asked giving me a quick kiss on the cheek._

_"You can blame that on my instructor. Levent over there, he has a habit of making me skip breakfast to train." I said giggling back_

_"Little Dhampir umm you look ravishing all wet." Adrian said with a light smile that made me blush from head to toe._

_"Leaning forward so that I didn't get his silk yellow sports shirt all wet I lightly kissed him on the cheek." It's good seeing you too. How have you been?"" I heard myself asking as he lite up a clove cigarette. Then again I knew he was drinking more and more as well as smoking. From all of the dream walks that he had been doing with me."You know me little Dhampir I can't complain not as long as I have my many vices around me." He said taking a long drag off of his cigarette. I was starting to feel like I was on display. With hugging each of my friends the way that I was, but gosh I had missed them so much._

_"Hathaway." When I turned around Christian was standing behind me with his arms outstretched, that I couldn't help but walk into them. His hug was what I had needed the most. So many hours had been spent on the phone talking, from him calling me everyday in the mornings. To me calling him at night, when I was turning into bed. I had given Christian credit to me surviving Levent these past few weeks and Christian knew it._

_"It's so good to finally see you." He whispered into my ear, so the others couldn't hear._

_"Same to you." I replied looking back into his pale icy blue eyes for a short time, then looking down at his shirt. Seeing that I had gotten him all wet. "I better go change." I said looking back into his eyes._

_When I left Christian's embrace, suddenly I felt cold and was ready to go and get change. My mother who wasn't always very affectionate was impatiently tapping her foot as she waited for hers. "Mom." I said quietly going to her. The hug that she had given me was one that I hadn't expected. She was hugging me as though she had missed me. _

_"I couldn't talk them out of coming." She whispered into my ear pulling back just slightly just so I could look into her eyes. Her finger came up thumping me on my nose. "It's okay mom, I can handle it." When I look back at her she smiled just a little more. After a couple of minutes, Janine let me go. She slipped her guardian mask back on, as I did the same. Heading toward the east side of the wing to get to the stairs Lissa and Dimitri were standing there. Policy dictated that all Dhampir's showed royals respect. Whether they had earned it or not. Damn literary class._

_"Princess." I said bowing towards her cordially then I raised up. She stiffened hearing me use her title genuinely. I had done my civic duty of the day by acknowledging her. The whole time biting hard on the inside wall of my cheek. When I looked over at Dimitri he was trying to read me and I thought on the inside just how funny that he couldn't anymore._

_"Rose are you going to introduce me to your friends?" Levent asked as he strolled over. A puzzled look crossing over into his face._

_"Yes this is my former charge princess Dragomir." I said eying Lissa who seemed to hate the way I was addressing her._

_"It's Lissa please." She said smiling back, but Levent did the same as I had done and bowed instead of taking her hand._

_"This is my new instructor Guardian Levent Berkant." I said calmly more calm, then I had felt in along time. Maybe it was from the earlier fight that I had with him.  
><em>

_"And this is my former mentor, guardian Belikov." I said addressing Dimitri by his title as well, without any emotions._

_"You have done well in her training. Rose here is a fine student and so far, the very top of her class." Levent said for the first time giving me a real compliment._

_"Rose has always been a good student and very quick learner." Dimitri replied back. Again I bit down hard on my cheek, waiting for the formalities to be over with. _

_ If you don't mind please excuse me I should really get changed, so that I can get to my next class." I said looking back at Levent._

_"That's alright my dear, classes have been canceled for the rest of the day." Abe said coming into the dinning hall. "But run along your completely soaked." Abe said nonchalantly, holding a crystal goblet in his hands, then he tipped it back drinking the last of his scotch.  
><em>

_ Princess... Guardian Belikov." With nothing more to say. I climb the stair in a slow walk. Nothing I had said, nor did reflected any of my feelings for a change. To either Lissa or Dimitri and with that I smiled._


	10. Active Duty

MICHELLE BRANCH LYRICS  
><strong>"Goodbye To You"<strong>  
>Of all the things I've believed in<br>I just want to get it over with  
>Tears form behind my eyes<br>But I do not cry  
>Counting the days that pass me by<br>I've been searching deep down in my soul  
>Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old<br>It feels like I'm starting all over again  
>The last three years were just pretend<br>And I said,  
><em>[Chorus:]<em>  
>Goodbye to you<br>Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
>You were the one I loved<br>The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
>The one thing that I tried to hold on to<p>

_When I made it to my room. I collapsed on the floor behind the door, taking several deep breaths composing myself. What the hell were they doing here, my brain screamed out. I wasn't ready to face neither Lissa or Dimitri. It felt like a full assault, a home evasion and they were here in my home. A place that I finally deemed as safe. Why they hell couldn't Abe have told me. However the answer was perfectly clear, that I felt like I had been hit by a freight train. It had to be a test of some form. To see if I was emotional strong enough to handle being around the royal families. Because sooner or later I would have to be around both of them. I couldn't hide out here forever and Abe was driving that point home in making me face Lissa and Dimitri. _

_Rolling towards the door and pulling myself up, using the wall for support.I padded through the dresser pulling out a pair of stoned washed jeans and a lavender halter top. If I was going to face them. Well by god I was going to look good doing it, true Hathaway style. As I looked at myself in the mirror. I tried different hairstyles and liked the french braid half twist. Where half of my hair was pulled into a ponytail and the upper part was braided. The remaining hair hung down long. Lightly applying my makeup to make eyes, stand out more. I smiled back at myself in the mirror and left the confines of my bedroom. Finding Abe in the family room he was talking with my mom. Who seemed worried and concerned for my behalf. Voices were raised way before I had entered the room._

_"It's to soon, you should have seen what those two did to her back at court." Janine said hotly pacing around the room. Her arms was folded over her chest and her head moved defiantly as I came in. _

_"I'm fine." I said walking into the room. "And your right it hurts like hell seeing them here, but the old man has a point too. I can't hide forever." I said looking back at Janine._

_"You see... you heard it for yourself... our daughter is ready. And look at her, she doesn't look like she's cracking at the seams. In fact she's holding it together really well." Abe said with admiration shinning in his face. _

_"You could have told me about the meeting with the royals." I said eying him carefully. Gathering the stack of papers and placing them back in the folder he smiled shiftily back at me. _

_"You didn't read the envelop that I gave you either. Did you?" Abe posed as question broadening his smile even more._

_Letting out a deep breath I shook my head back at him. "No I didn't." I replied just as evenly. "But then how could you expect me to? Plus learn the three other languages and dealing with Mr. ___Gendarmerie.__

_"_What or who is Gendarmerie?" My mother asked and Abe laughed even louder.__

_"_That's what she call him...our guardian Berkant. It means my dear." Abe said crossing the room and placing a guiding hand on moms lower back." ____General ___or commander, but to hear Rose use it. She's calling him general._

_"Only because he acts more like a drill Sargent on steroids." I snapped back feeling the need to defend myself and my actions._

_"Ohhh Rose your new charge will be here this evening and you'll be carrying out your duties." Abe shot back arching his head towards me. "That's not going to pose a problem for you is it?" He asked raising his eyebrow at me. Damn why couldn't I learn how to get that down pat._

_"Of course not. Will it be while she is here or do I need to head over to her home and escort her over here." I asked. I had been wondering when Abe was going to put me on active duty and now was the right time. _

_"You'll be leaving the estate around six thirty. Just a little before sunset to go and collect her. Jesse ___Zeklos and his family are also here. They will be joining us later on. Apparently the young laid bit into a feeder that didn't agree with him during the long trip.__

_"_Yeah that sounds like him." I grumbled leaving my folks, then going into the study, calling ___Pavel___. Arrangements had to be made in going to Maria's house. When I went back to the dinning halls. Christian and Adrian were talking to Styles and Levent. I couldn't help but look around for Serena but she was nowhere to be found. However Lissa was talking to both of my parents. Dimitri he kept looking over his shoulder towards the east wing of the staircase. I was assuming that's where Jesse was at. Even though an official post hadn't been assigned. Dimitri still every so often would looked up, then would look at me.__

_"_So your ...um instructor here says you have advanced to level two little Dhampir." Adrian said grinning, his emerald green eyes flared to life as he smiled affectionately back at me.__

_"_Well hopefully it will pose more of a challenge then his level one. I mean for the last couple of weeks, I was bored out of my mind with all the Kata." I said begrudgingly back.__

_"_Well you could have ended it sooner, the way that you did today. All you had to do was stand up for yourself." Rolling my eyes I knew where Levent was going with this. Because of Lissa and Dimitri I had lowered my guard, allowing myself to be disrespected. He was trying his hardest in teaching me that painful lesson. One that I wouldn't forget anytime soon.__

__'So does that mean if I just outright challenge you now. I could um... skip all the lessons?" I asked seeing an opportunity to get out of the ridiculous training.__

_"_Nope." He said flashing his pearly whites ever so slightly lifting his finger. "But huh.. nice try. His grays flashing brightly back at mine.__

_"_So Hathaway. I've never before seen the ocean. Care to take a stroll with me?" Christian asked jokingly, but the look on his face was more serious. Then he was letting on. Placing my hand in the corner of his arm by his elbow that was all the answer he needed. Both Dimitri and Lissa's heads popped up as we both walked out. Christian flashed a wide smile towards them both. __

_"_Do you want to explain what that was about." I asked jerking on Christian's arm after we left the estate. Then started walking up and down on the sandy beach of the coast. As much as it killed me. I didn't want Christian using me as away of getting back at them. I had way to much respect for myself and him. For either one of us to be used in that capacity. Plus I really cared about him and didn't feel that either one of us needed to play those kinds of games with Lissa and Dimitri. They were in their own private hell, one of their making and now they both had to live with it.__

_"_It was juvenile and I shouldn't done it. But hell I have been so happy to finally come up and see you, that I couldn't resist. __

_"_Well next time try. I won't be used that way." I said softly looking back at the waves. Both of his hands slid up to my upper arms, turning me to face him. So that I could look into his eyes, they were tender and yielding. The pale icy blue of his sea blues eyes brought comfort and strength. Yet they were so damn warm and darkening even more then the waves out here on the beach were. Pulling me even closer I rested my head on his shoulder, which for a Moroi he was surprisingly fit. Christian's palm of his hand slid up in between my shoulder blades of my back. Then moving slowly back and forth in a leisurely massage. While his other hand laid across my waist drawing me closer towards him. God it felt so good just to have somebody hold me, that I relaxed more into him. Feeling his warm breath fan out around my ear. While he nuzzled my ear and temple with his lips. __

_"_I'm sorry." He whispered.__

_"_Do you think we'll ever get over it?" I asked softly then leaning back to look at him once more. I didn't need to ask about his plans in marring Lissa because we both knew he was going to. Or my so called happily ever after with Dimitri. None of that was going to happen now and both Christian and I knew that. However it still left a monumental size hole in both of our hearts.__

_"_In time we'll get over over it and until then. We have each other. Life does go on Hathaway." He said drawing back, looking up at the sky, sunset was setting in and I had to leave for my charge.__

_"_I know that look." Christian said thumping my nose playfully. "You have to go to work don't you?" Smiling back I moved the hair away from his eyes and left my hand on his cheek and he pressed into it.__

_"_Yep but this is nice we should do this again." I said looking back at him. __

_"_Hathaway." Pavel barked out ruining the moment. "It's time." He said tapping at his watch impatiently and Christian lowered his arms.__

_"_Duty calls fire crotch." I smirked back then took off jogging towards Pavel.__

_"_If duty calls Hathaway... then your neglecting them. Because I find myself in need of being guarded... Again I couldn't bite back the smile that pulled over my face.__

__I hated leaving Christian there on the beach, but I knew he could take care of himself. While I followed Pavel out towards the car. However I was surprised to see Levent waiting along with ___Camille___. __

_"_I should probably go and get chanced." I said solemnly knowing this was a royal event. But Camille handed me my stake and I quickly sheath it to my waist.__

_"_Not necessary were more informal here. As long as you look after your charge, placing her safety above yours. Then that's all that counts, were not back at court so there really isn't any need for suits." Levent explained as I climb into the car. __

_"_But your always in a suit with those damn glasses on. Do you have a problem with your eyes or do you just hate showing them off?" I said mockingly then climbing into the car. __

__"It's what I'm most comfortable in and besides it gives me the whole_ "ben ruh görünüm değilim, çünkü benimle dalga geçme."(don't fuck with me because, I'm not in the mood look.)" He said with a serious expression._

_"Like you don't look badass enough you want to go all mobster as well." I snorted shifting in my seat to get comfortable._

__Once we had gotten settled in Levent opened up the limo's side compartment. He handed me a shoulder gun belt holster. Along with two Beretta's already strapped into them.__

_"_No." I said shaking my head looking hard back at him."That's cheating and not very effective on the Strigoi's...for that matter, there not even practical."__

_"_When it comes to Strigoi's. There is no such thing as cheating." He bit back and sighed out, his gray eyes hardening on me. "Look at it this way when it comes to your father it's a requirement so put it on." Levent order sharply. Grinding my teeth together I took the gun belt and strapped it into place around my shoulders. Then making sure that the buckles were secured and in place.__

_"_You know ____Gendarmerie, your a dick." I said blatantly and felt him stifle a snicker, like he got called that everyday.__

_"_Coming from you Hathaway. I'll take that as a compliment. Not everybody can be a spoiled childish, stuck up snob as you seem to be." He replied softly.I repressed the urge to hit him. Spoiled I was not. I had worked damn hard my whole life, and yet he catered to my father, so who was spoiled? Stuck up jeez who was this guy kidding and childish. I thought mentally rolling my eyes. I had seen more death in my short life, that I had to grow up fast. This guys as I have said it a million times was nothing more then a pompous ass. __

__The rest of the drive was in silence which seemed to take forever. When we pulled into the small parking lot it was nightfall. The stars twinkled all around us and the moon was climbing even higher in the sky. From the looks of it you wouldn't have thought the Conta's home as being royal. A nice three story town home on a small piece of land. Fresh orange, plum and apple trees covered the front lawn, along with soft gentle green blades of grass. Which seemed really out of place considering Maria lived in the center of town.__

_"Your Maria's primary guardian." Levent said finally addressing me. "Simply because you are female. However I will be watching you to make sure that you are full filling your duties to her." He said smoothly back._

_"Correction." I said letting a humorless smile fill my face. "Your a sexists dick." I glared back frostily towards him, then opened the door to the limo._

_Climbing the first set of stairs and knocking on her door. __Mirabel answered sticking her head out. Then looking nervously towards Levent and myself. Then slowly pulling the door open even wider for us to step through. I knew the Conta's were royal but living here was beneath most royal standards. The family home was cluttered with books shelves and nick knack on the stands. Heavy golden drapes covered the windows. While mix matched furniture centered around the small looking living room. The couch was brown, and the rocking chair was blue and a old television looking like it came out in the seventies decorated the cherry hard wooden floors._

_"As you can tell, we don't have the luxury's that you were hoping to see." Mirabel snorted out and left the room. When Maria finally appeared. Levent and I both showing our respects bowed, then raised back up looking at her and she smiled warmly back at us._

_When we left her house, I walked in front of Maria and Levent walked behind her. Pavel opened the door and I walked to the other side of the limo. I looked around feeling a little on edge and anxious. This was a horrible time to be going out. Letting out a deep breath I climb into the limo, sitting on the left side of Maria._

_The drive back to the estate was in awkward silence, that I kept looking out threw the window. However the last time that I looked out, I could see headlights following us._

_"So Rosemarie, I understand you use to be Lissa Dragomir's guardian what changed?" Maria asked and I nearly choked. Levent look at me for a second. Before I had a chance to answer my stomach came to life with hard cramping pains of nausea. I damn near doubled over gasping because the pains were so sharp. I looked back at Levent and Camille, who were watching me worriedly. _

_"Strigoi's." I gasped out. The headlights from the car behind us rammed into the limo. Pavel swerved to keep from going off the side of road. It was only then that Levent and Camille, took my warning serious and pulled out their stakes._

_Opening up the sunroof to the limo, Levent eyes narrowed on me as I moved to get directly under it._

_"I'm sorry Maria, but this is where I shine excuse me." I said crawling over her and raising my hands into the opening of the sunroof. "Tell Pavel to hold it steady. Then to back it off of the gas when I'm out side._

_"Rose what the hell are you doing?" Levent barked out when I heaved my body out of the opening. _

_"Stay with Maria" I snapped back then clearing my legs through the small opening. The wind from how fast we were going, ripped and tussled through my hair. Sending fine strands of hair blowing all across my face, as I steady myself on the hood._

_"Rose this is to dangerous get back in here." Camille voice order out but I chose to ignore her._

_ Holding onto the sides of the limo, my body crawled forward towards the back trunk area of the car. Again the car from behind us surged with life. I felt Pavel ease up on the gas. Just as the car from behind went to ram us. I got my body into a crouch position and threw my body forward hard into the car behind us. Slamming face first into the dash windshield exploding the glass inwards on impact, distracting the Strigoi's inside. _

_The car swerved wildly, as the young looking Strigoi male glared hatefully back at me. When he lost complete control of the car, slamming the front part of the hood into a tree. The impact from hitting the tree, threw me several feet into the air. The loud blaring of the car horn rung out in the night, echoing in the space around us. Landing hard on my side I grunted out in pain. A few of my ribs had been cracked from when I had been thrown. "Maybe not the smartest move after all." I growled out. While a few feet away I heard the sounds of the car doors being opened. Rolling onto my side and grabbing my stake I used the tree for support to get back up._

_"Now you did it." The Strigoi smiled cruelly back at me. "We were just having a little fun." He sneered out sending his saliva spraying out of his mouth. His red rimmed eyes sparkled and glowed in the moonlight. Glaring back at me as though he was promising death and then he came forward. _


	11. Your To Late And A Dollar Short

_"So was I." I said shrugging my shoulders. I couldn't let on to him that I wasn't up to speed a hundred percent. In truth my body freaking hurt smashing into the window of their car._

_"I mean it's just not everyday you see a female Dhampir playing fall guy. You know jumping from Limo's." I asked questioning him._

_"Who." He asked his eyebrow going up in mocked indifference._

_Cocking his head slightly, the fangs from his mouth showed even more exposing the sharp pointy tips. The look of his face was funny as hell, because he seriously didn't know who the fall guy really was. The closer he came I patiently waited holding onto the tree. _

_"Duh... the fall guy. You know the guy, who does all the fancy stunts on television and in the movies. God all of you Strigoi's need to develop a higher appreciation for television. I mean seriously what do you do when there is sunlight? Practice group orgies?" Making sure that my grip on the tree trunk was just right when he was a mere three or four feet away. _

_Then spinning around on the tree in a full dead speed run around and around ,using it for support. As if my ribs didn't hurt bad enough now the dull pain was ten time worse, with each circle that I had made. That was when I heard the other damn Strigoi's piling out of the car. But too late. My feet ran faster and harder in circles around the base of the tree. While the dumb schmuck Strigoi glared back at me. _

_"This isn't the right time to be playing ring around the Rosey." He smiled chilling back. "Ashes...ashes...ashes we all fall down." He snickered back.  
><em>

_ Over and over again kicking up dust and dirt behind me while I was building momentum. That when I had ran fast enough both of my feet launched upwards into the air bracing my hands and arms on the tree. Kicking him hard enough in the head that he didn't have a chance to recover. The rest of my body dropped on him. His body even though it was faster and stronger then mine dropped like a ton of bricks and collapsed onto the ground. With me on top of him, regaining position over his chest and strategically slashing his face with the stake. His skin bubbled up while he howled in screeching agony back at me and a chuck of his skin melted it off. My eyes flickered from his ruby red rimmed eyes to the other two Strigoi's that were running towards us._

_"Take a number fellows. I'll be with you shortly." I called out to them realizing my second mistake of the night about being distracted._

_ Throwing out his deadly claws, this Strigoi gave as good as he had gotten. The razor sharp tips of his claw like nails sliced into my face. As though the skin was nothing more then ribbons of a delicate nature. The warm oozing and stickiness slowly dripped down into my neck. Being so focus on the Strigoi. I hadn't even really noticed that I had been hurt. Slashing at his face again he howled out in pain._

_"Your going to be made to suffer, were going to bleed you dry." The Strigoi snarled out. Spewing more of his saliva into the air, while he punctuated each word. Before he had a chance to say anything more, my stake dove deeply into his chest. Shattering the bones of his ribs cage until it ruptured into his heart. When rough hands grabbed me from behind. I quickly yanked my stake out of chest and turn my sights onto my newest target. Tearing the muscles and skin from the chest wall cavity of the Strigoi. That I was still perched on, only to drive it in behind me slamming it hard into the upper thigh of another Strigoi._

_A hard sounding whack across my face. Sent me flying backwards, smashing hard into the bark of the tree behind me. From where the Strigoi had belted me one on my cheek. Shaking the feeling off of seeing stars and struggling to get back up to my feet. I looked at the best way to retrieve my weapon. When the other one came at me at the same time._

_Swinging out my legs this was going to be a ground fight. I determined as my foot wrapped in between his. The blond hair Strigoi grinned like a chestier cat from ear to ear. When he fell, his eyes glittering back towards mine. With lightening speed the Strigoi pounced on top of me digging his hands tightly around my neck. Reaching up and jamming my fingers into his eye sockets. He howled out screamingly "You bitch." He snarled just as he was about to back away from me. My eyes met Levent's and Camille's. Levent shoved his stake in from behind without any mercy. The sickening snapping of the Strigoi's spinal cord and piercing his heart left me trembling with relief. As I fought frantically to inhale that next breath of air, that my lungs had been denied for so long. Rolling over and gasping for air and feeling the oxygen rushing back into my lungs. I was faint and dizzy and if that wasn't bad enough. The burning in my side from my cracked ribs almost did me in.  
>"It...took you long enough." I gasped out holding my throat. Both Levent and Camille pinned the woman Strigoi. Camille shoved her stake in so fast that she turned away from her the light faded from the woman Strigoi eyes. She was freed long before her body slammed hard on the ground. With every breath that I took a croupy, hacking cough shook me. My eyes closed winching, from the pain. While blood spewed from my lips. that I quickly manged to wipe away. <em>

_When Camille finished her off they both came back towards me and I had just barely pulled myself back to my feet._

"_Go back to the car Camille." Levent snapped outrageously. His eyes beaming back on mine as though he could burn a hole straight into my soul. The hard set of his jaw, the way his dark piercing eyes narrowed on mine. Geez this wasn't going to be pretty and Levent drove the point home when he stalked over grabbing my upper arm shaking me._

"_Do you know just how dangerous, reckless, irresponsible... __aptal bu şekilde lanet saç beyin_?_ Levent all but shouted out._

"_That's right... it was dangerous and even stupid. "But it's what I do to keep my charges safe." I yelled back at him glowering in rage. "Who are you kidding Levent? To even act like you give two shits. As long as the charges are safe right? What the hell do you care for anyways. I mean your...your...nothing more then an instructor a... Gendarmerie that barks out orders and everybody just follows them." I snapped angrily back waving my hand in his direction. Swinging my upper arm hard so that I bumped into the tree. Levent leaned forward pressing my further into the bark of the tree. His gray unsettling eyes looking even more smoky then before looking back at me. His finger reached up wiping the remaining blood that I had missed from my mouth away. While he glared just as hard back at me._

_"I guess that's all you would see Miss. Hathaway." He said closer then I was comfortable with. "But then again that's all you students ever think." Straightening back up he turned and walked towards the limo and a few seconds latter shaking my head I followed. What the hell was he even talking about. When I climb back into the limo taking my rightful place at Maria's side. I stifled the pain in my side squeezing my eyes shut and and taking a shaky breath. _

"_Are you alright Miss. Conta?" I asked opening my eyes and letting them travel over her face and over the rest of her looking for any signs of injury._

"_My dear I'm fine." She said sounding shock that I was worried about her well being._

"_It's you that I'm worried about. I mean that was positively...reckless and stupid." I finished for her using Levent's exact words._

_Arching her eyebrow at me and patting her hand over mine I just looked back at her feeling guilty for even finishing her sentence for her."The correct word that I was going to use was amazing. I have never had a a guardian take my safety so seriously before. What you did was...just fantastic." She said with a slight nervous laugh. However when I glanced over at Levent his jaws were still locked shut and he was starring straight forward. Apparently Mr. Gendarmerie and Miss. Conta had a difference of an opinion about my actions._

_"You poor thing you have been hurt." She said looking my features over._

_"Miss. Hathaway will be fine." Levent said reassuringly while I looked back out the window. "After all injuries like the ones she has suffered from, comes with the job." The rest of the drive back to the estate was filled with noisy chatter between Camille and Maria. While both Levent and myself only engage in conversations when we had been pulled into them. When we arrived at the estate I got out and held the door for her. Maria slid gracefully out of her seat, walking towards the well lite up estate with me following after her. It looked like every dignitary from court and from school had arrived. Servants and door greeters were waiting outside and in the foyer, dressed in pristine white and gray uniforms. Extra guardians were covering all the entrances and exists of the estate. The extra guardians who were there even though they were dressed informal. They were heavily armed, sheath with two stakes at their sides. The butts of pistols hanging off of their gun belts and shoulder harnesses. Patrolling psi hounds covering the grounds and gardens of the estate. Each visitor was searched by the hounds through their scents and blood._

_"Levent what's going on?" I mumbled over my shoulder taking everything in. "I thought the meeting with the royals wasn't suppose to be for a few days away." I asked feeling completely confused by what I was seeing. _

_"Welcome to the side of the business, that you didn't know your father was into." He said when Maria step inside._

_"I'm just going to get this cleaned up." I said to Levent feeling the pain on my cheek from where the Strigoi and nailed me with his claws. Excusing myself I hurriedly went to the ladies bathroom. Running the cold tap water over my face and neck, washing away the blood. Compared to when I first had set out to pick Maria up. I was far from being presentable but for the time being I knew this would have to do. Drawing an unsteady breath and ignoring the pain that I felt in my ribs. I left, heading back out for the long evening ahead to watch over my charge. Damn what I wouldn't give for Adrian to heal me, I thought grimly. When I spotted both Levent and Maria, taking my place by each of their sides.  
><em>

_ Following slowly behind her taking the whole thing in, the place was again made into a mad house of Moroi's, Dhampir's and even a few Alchemists. My eyes traveled over the number of people who were there. Then taking the far right side of the wall and pressing my back flatly against it my hands folded up behind me. Levent who had followed carried the same position as me and both of our eyes followed Maria._

_"Over to your right is Jennings. He's from Saint Petersburg, a Russian arms dealer. He said squaring off his shoulders looking at the creepy looking Moroi._

_"And the lady in the far right corner with my father?" I asked using my head nodding in her direction where Abe was standing. He was flashing a broadening smile that made my stomach knot up. She was the same woman from the masquerade ball._

_That is ___Ekaterina. You would have never guessed she was a former queen, would you?" Levent asked more quietly, that I shook my head shocked. __

_"_Okay that just don't make any since. The royal's are having this ...this meeting here in a couple of days and the former queen is fraternizing with an arms dealer and mobster? I just don't get it." I said blinking several times, trying to figure what the old slippery snake was up too. __

_"_It's all somehow tied and connected to the queen, from what I understand." He replied just as courtly, drifting my eyes back towards Maria. She looked distressed because Jesse was standing there brow beating her, about something. Things were starting to get out of hand when he placed his hands on her.__

_"_The only question is what. Excuse me." I said leaving Levent to tend to the matter at hand. Just as I had walked up to take care of Jesse; Dimitri must of seen what was going on as well because he also came to defuse the situation with his out of of control charge.__

_"I know all about your little sister. Come on Maria I know she would probably like to hook up with me." He said laughing drunkenly back to her. _

_"The only thing that might want to hook up with you is a just freshly awaken Strigoi. Then again that because even they need to feed and don't know any better." I smiled with restrained amusement._

_"Come along Mr. Zeklos." Dimitri said but from the look on his face he was trying real hard not to crack a grin through his stoic guardian mask. If you look deeper into his brown eyes and knew him as well as I did you could see it._

_"I'm sorry Ros...I mean guardian Hathaway. I'll make sure that Zeklos gets straighten out by his parents." Dimitri said bowing to Maria and myself._

_"Go easy on him Mr. Belikov." Maria said flickering her gaze from Dimitri then back to Jesse. "After all your only young once." Dimitri flashed a half smile that would have melted my heart once a upon a time and then bowed again. Then escorting Jesse away from her that I let out a small breath._

_"Are you all right." I asked leading her away from the scene. Then taking her towards the buffet, which smelled heavenly even though my stomach roared with life. I ignored it and forced myself to focus on Maria. _

_"Water please." I said to the waiter who was dashing around the large buffet table. Laying more and more trays of scrumptious wonderfulness down and on the serving trays. Promptly he went into the back and when he returned he carried a bottle of water in his hand, which he handed over. nodding for him to give to Maria she readily excepted it with eager hands._

_"I'm fine it's just hard living in my sisters shadows sometimes. Some of the choices she makes is just so damn heart breaking." Maria sighed out sadly. The look on her face she knew more of ___Mirabel's actions. Then she let on. "But I have to love her anyways she's still family." Swallowing hard I nodded my head in some kind of agreement then looking over towards Lissa. Who was having a very heated discussion with Adrian about something.__

__She was wearing a silken handkerchief golden v cut dress that brought out the stunning color of her long blond hair. The ringlet of curls wrapped around her shoulders like a shawl fanning out. The sharp piercing emeralds of her eyes were several shades lighter. Her normal pale looking complexion, looked even more pale somehow duller. Even though she was trying to hide the dark shadows from around her eyes with make up. I couldn't help but notice. In all accounts Lissa looked sickly somehow off, different. __

_"_Yeah I know what you mean, however there are somethings that not even family can be forgiven of." I said looking softly back towards Maria. Taking a long drink of water, I placed my hand on her arm." I'm going to go stand guard at my post." I explained and Maria smiled back at me. Needing to distract myself from Lissa's presence. I took my place back against the wall beside Levent.__

_"_What was that about?" He asked as I leaned back against the wall, crossing my arms over myself. When my eyes flickered towards he jutted his jaw towards Lissa.__

_"_That." I said shakily. "Was nothing... nothing that's worth mentioning." I reasoned. Then watching the rest of our quests while they mingled.__

_"_Go on Miss. Hathaway your do for a break." Levent said after awhile when I had grown exceedingly quiet. Giving a small smile of gratitude I walked stiffly back towards the rear exist holding my sides. "Damn ribs." I grumbled out, heading for the beach. It seemed since I had gotten here. That was were I was spending more and more of my time. When I went outside the waves were crashing together making a slowing dull roaring sounds. When the tide moved lazily up onto the sand, then drifting back off towards the sea again. I took a deep breath enjoying the saltiness of the night air. __

_"_You put up quit a convincing act." Squeezing my eyes tightly shut. I counted mentally in my head to a hundred and biting instantly hard on my tongue. "You almost have everyone fooled but me." Dimitri's voice was soft and quiet, that I didn't bother to turn around. Instead just folded my arms over my chest. __

_"_I don't have a clue as to what your talking about." I said making sure that nothing about my voice or personal appearance changed. I wasn't about to show to Dimitri or anyone else for that matter just how standing this close to him really hurt. __

_"_Just so you know after you left I did break it off with Liss." Dimitri explained, turning slowly around my shoulders tightened even more and I could see the look from Dimitri face that he had noticed it as well.__

_"_Sure you did." I smiled lightly back at him. "Ooooh I heard all about that from Christian. The only problem with that was, I got hijacked back into her head again, where um... if I'm not mistaken. It was your hands that were on her hips. And your mouth pressed up against hers." I let out a humorless laugh. "Trust me I wasn't spying. Being in the princesses head when um you and her are together. Is the very last place on this planet that I want to be. So if you want my congratulations. Fine guardian Belikov you have them, congratulations." I said bowing in his direction with my hands clasped out in front of me now. "And well if it's my condolences, that you want." I snorted. "Then well their yours as well. You have my deepest sympathy, but lets just skip the part where you beat around the bush and lie to me. I've had enough of that to last me a life time." Chewing on the inside wall of my cheek I sure as hell wasn't going to let him know just how painful this was or that him being here with me talking about her was getting under my skin.__

_"_I broke it off with her and that kiss... that damn kiss you saw. Liss kissed me. If you had stayed in her head a little while longer, you would have heard me reminding her. That it's over, that I just don't love her like that." He said sounding defensive.__

_"_What makes you think that I care anymore? As far as I'm concern your a free agent...free to date whoever you chose and you sure as hell don't need my permission now do you?" I said just short of a quiet whisper. "Now if you'll...my feelings came back Roza. I feel ...god I feel." Dimitri said rubbing his hand above the space between his eyebrows. I remember the cabin... us... I want that back. I screw up royally." He said in a strangled voice, that made me flinch and my heart begin to hammer.__

_"_Your to late and a dollar short. I have a charge to take care of." I said breezing past him almost in a dead run. I could feel the prickling of tears in the back of my eyes damn him...damn him my mind screamed out.__

_"_Roza...I love you." I heard him softly say as I raced back towards the estate. __

**I also wish to thank everyone for their support and encouragement when I suffered my writers block. I had gotten so stressed out. It was like trying to write on a blank canvas and not having any words come to mind. So thank you for your ideas and suggestions on how to get over it. Many of you wrote me personal letters and notes on how to get over it. While others gave me ideas for the story line. Ultimately I just needed a timeout and remove myself from my stressful environment and take the day off. The fan who gave me some ideas for the story line. I think you can tell I followed some of your suggestions. While another fan said hey Elfina take the day off and go for a walk in the woods and I did. Guess what a new VA story popped into my head. Check it out here is the summary, if you think I should do it then leave me a comment here letting me know what your thoughts are. Again thank you, best wishes from your vamp friend Elfina.**

VA Prey and Predator Summary

Rose Hathaway had been running all her life her. Even at a young age, her life had been in danger. Sent to live with her estranged father shortly at birth. Rose knew growing up her days were numbered. A hidden assassin was out there watching. Waiting to bring about her end, to take her life that merely begun just nineteen years ago. Both Janine and Abe had tried to protect Rose from the hit that had been placed on her life. In Roses darkest hours, how is she suppose to protect those closes to her? From a face that she has never seen or met? But one who is stalking her as though she was his mere prey and he was the predator. It was because of that thing that Janine carried in her stomach, that tore Abe away from her. He was suppose to rule by her side and devote his love to her. Queen Tatiana Ivashkov had vowed revenge. Seeking it in the form of the most dangerous mercenary of them all. Who was always known for catching his prey then snuffing out there lives. He was a leader among assassins, who enjoys the kills as much as the hunt. Dimitri Belikov was the best that money could buy and everyone at court knew he always got his man or Rose Hathaway's case woman.


	12. It's Raining Men

__When I came back inside. I looked around seeing Maria who was talking with Abe and took my place back at my post. Had he really just said that to me, my mind thought numbly. I had felt so cold from the inside that I couldn't get my mind to wrap around those four little words. I love you Roza. As I stood there watching my charge. Levent glanced of over at me several times but remained quiet. Then he noticed Dimitri walking in and going back to Jesse's side. Who was even more intoxicated then what he had been when I left.__

_"_You alright?" He eventual asked and I took a deep breath not taking my eyes off the chaos that was taking place in the room. I could feel Levent studding me watching closely for any kind of reaction. However I didn't drop the guardian mask that I had locked down. Not even Dimitri would be able to tell what I was thinking anymore, nobody could and that suited me just fine. The stoic mask that I now wore, I had mastered largely because of Dimitri something I was grateful for.__

_"_Ting...ting ting.." Abe was standing in the middle of the room banging a silver spoon on a crystal goblet, drawing everyone's attention towards him. "Ting...ting...ting...Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please." He said waiting for everyone to face him. He looked like an over stuffed peacock. With his black suit and canary yellow scarf that wrapped around his neck, even the lapels of his jacket had the flashy yellow along the in seams of his jacket. If I hadn't known Zmey as well as I did. I would swear the man was positively gay. With the way he was dressed, I mean he just had know fashion sense at all. He should have left it to the pros who did. __

_ "_Ahem...can I have your attention please." When everyone in the room quieted down and turned to face him. "Now we all know why we have assembled here." He said laying the goblet down. " Ekaterina my dear will you please join me." Abe sounded so dignified as though he was true dignitarian that whatever he was about to spring on us made my stomach lurch forward. "As some of you may already know and for those of you who don't. Our beloved queen has fallen gravely ill." Abe said looking all round the guests in the room, but his eyes stopping on mine.__

_"_What do you mean she has fallen ill?" Asked Ralf Sarcozy. If he would just listen to my old man he would know. I thought chewing on my lip __

_" _Our queen has been sick for quit sometime now. You mean you haven't heard the gossip floating around at court and at school? The twinkling on the old mans face assured me that Ralf known. "Its been common knowledge. To put it bluntly queen Tatiana Ivashkov is dieing. Which is why we will be having a meeting among all twelve royal families and why you are all have gathered." Abe finished then flatten his mustache, then gesturing for Ekaterina to finish. Boy the old man sure knew how to be in the public eye and part me thought about what Rhonda's tarot card reading about an emperor. My mind flashed of the memory of what she had said not so long ago. ___This is the emperor he is very wise and wields power and authority. He has a hand in our world and dabbles with our policy's and politics.___ A wormy chill spread in the center of my spine at the thought. That I pushed the memory away. He was the one that I was suppose to learn from? Rhonda was joking right. Abe was into arms dealing and mobstering and god only know what else. The man was slippery than a bar of soap and I was suppose to learn from him.__

_"_Here in the next couple of days each royal family will be petitioning queen Tatiana for the rights of the crown. Which is why I am here to make sure the considerations are fair and impartial. Ultimately it will be her decision who she elects to the thrown." Swallowing hard when I looked back at Abe he fingered his nose in my direction with a knowing smirk that I blink several times. This was why he wanted me spying on Camille. "This sure as hell explains allot and why Abe pushed for me to be her guardian, damn meddling old man." I grumbled out crossing my arms over my chest,. Looking at my feet I shook my head. Was it to much to just want to be left alone I thought sadly. __

_"_You seem surprised." Levent said softly. "I thought for sure you knew." Rubbing his chin thoughtfully I shook my head glaring back at the old man. Feeling even more setup then I had been on my first day here. __

_"_That hardly describes it." I said sounding bitter and wishing that I had read the file that he had given me. "So that's what all of this has been about? Learning different languages, being forced to train even harder with you. __

_"_Now you can understand Serena's attitude towards you."Levent said smirking at me, liking the fact that I had been caught off guard.__

_"_Speaking of her where is she? I thought she would be here mingling with the guests or the very least be on duty." I asked searching the room and still not seeing her anywhere. That earned me a full smile where I could see the full row of his pearly whites and a side splitting laugh, that I couldn't help laugh as well.__

_"_You huh...remember that little bet between you and her?" Levent said grinning then lifting his hands over head, his fingers shaped like scissors making cutting motions. My eyes widen and I smiled even bigger.__

_"_She didn't." I asked chuckling and Levent shook his head. __

_"_Yep she got her little trim this after noon, that's why you haven't seen her around. Wait until you see her at practice, she'll probably be wearing a hat or something. __

_"_That I can't wait to see." I said smirking __

_"_Well don't you both look like the cozy duo." Styles said walking over towards us. Then giving me a wink. "Care to make it a three some?" Rolling my eyes I reached over and belted his arm which he tenderly rubbed. "Careful Hathaway I bruise easily...You don't want to damage the goods do you? Before you've had a chance to sample them?...and this guy is a guardian?" I snorted back indignantly to Levent who only shook his head. __

_"_You remind me of a used car lot Styles. Dissatisfied customers check in and walkout just as unsatisfied as when they came in. Full of hype but without the bling." I said flatly.__

_"_Miss. Hathaway I think I would like to head back home now." Maria said looking completely tired. Looking around the room others mingled and Levent and myself followed Maria out of the estate. Pavel was standing at the limo with the door open looking into the late night sky. Dawn would be coming soon enough. I slid into the seat beside Maria and Levent sat on the opposite seat beside her. When Pavel pulled out of the estate she seemed strangely quite.__

_"_Thinking about the petition for the elections?" I asked softly and she nodded her head looking forward.__

_"_The Ivashkov family and mine have been close for sometime now. I just hate the thought of Tatiana dying. I mean she's relatively young and it's happening so fast everyday she gets weaker and weaker. Adrian he's taking it the hardest you know.__

_"_What do the physicians say about her illness?" This was the first that I had heard about the queen being sick. It was mind blowing, normally Moroi's lived a long fruitful life, but to suddenly fall ill wasn't hardly ever heard of. Already my mind was going into over drive. Trying to think of the various possibilities and what it meant to all of our futures.__

_"_They don't have a clue." She said wearily rubbing her head. "They have ran every test that can be run and have came up empty every time. It a mystery that is baffling them all they don't know what she is dying from, and just few weeks ago when you came here. I received a special invite from Tatiana herself. Asking me to precipitate in the petitions for the crown." She said sitting back sadly. __

_"_Everything will work out for the best you just have to trust that it will." Levent said softly. The rest of the drive was held in silence and my brain mulled over the tarot reading again. Could this have been the fate that Rhonda was predicting? Rubbing my face in frustration I sat quietly looking out at the window. When we had dropped Maria off back at her home and climb into the limo. I leaned back in the seat closing my eyes and was suddenly snapped into Lissa head.__

_"_You mean to tell me she can't or won't do it." Lissa said throwing a vase against the wall that shattered.__

_"_I don't know I haven't asked her. I understand you need the darkness pulled from you and you have enough to worry about with the petitioning of the crown. Your whole future is at stake, but I'm not about to ask Rose to pull the darkness from you. That is something you should do yourself." Dimitri holding the door open to his room looked beyond frustrated. "It's getting late Liss and I have to get up early to take care of my charge. Just like you have to meet with Ekaterina in the morning to go over your petition." Dimitri said sounding worn out.__

_"_Dimitri please...please..your the only one who can talk to Rose. I can't do it." Lissa cried out. "If Rose knew what went behind her back all those months after you got out of jail and um how we were secretly involved with each other." Lissa said dropping her voice a little, and unable to look at Dimitri any longer. She turnaround looking at a picture of Dimitri with his family. She paused taking a much needed breath. "Go on sister do tell." I said quietly waiting and watching clinching my hands into tight fists.__

_"_There's know telling what she would do." Lissa said and my blood started boiling.__

_"_How do you know that Rose doesn't already know. The both of you are shadow kissed." Dimitri dropped into a low angrily whisper. "You need to seek her out and make your amends with her Lissa. I won't do it for you. She's been hurt enough by the both of us. I own that much and it's mine to bear but I won't ask her for anything because quit frankly neither one of us has any right to ask Rose for anything." Lissa spun around so fast she made me dizzy. I hadn't been in her head for awhile now and the growing darkness that was pressing down on her felt like purgatory as though she was caught in the the bowels of hell it self.__

__Walking towards the door Lissa looked pleadingly back at Dimitri. Who dropped his head, guilt haunting in his face and showing in those brown eyes, he looked so lost and confused that my fists clinched even more.__

_"_We both know what we did was a mistake, but why does it seem like I'm the only one here being punished." Lissa asked sounding broken. "I lost Rose as my guardian and I'm suffering from spirit madness. The doctors gives it a few more months before the spirit madness completely takes me over, then I'm locked in a damn physic ward. And you ...you get off easy. I mean your still a guardian. __

_"_That's right I got off easy." Dimitri snapped back "I'm stuck with a charge, who I would love nothing more than to break his neck half the time. My reputation is shot and you have the nerve to tell me that I got off easy. Not to mention since my feelings for Rose have come back. I'm in love with a woman who can't stand the sight of me. So don't stand there and tell me just how easy I got off. Because I'm sorry princess your dead wrong, you have your private hell going on and so do I." __

__When I snapped back into my own head I was visibly shaken and tears were running down my eyes and Levent was starring at me. __

_"_It's nothing." I said blinking back the tears offering a weak fake smile. Then angrily wiping them away, the traitors things that kept on sliding down my cheeks.__

_"_Sure it doesn't look like nothing. Let me guess you just cry for the fun of it?" He asked pulling out a handkerchief out of his front pocket of his jacket then handing it to me. "I don't know what he did to mess you up so bad inside, but I'm here for you Hathaway I'm not going any where." Levent said softly pulling me even closer to him. Where I buried my face into his shoulder which only made me cry that much harder. Those were similar words that Dimitri had once said to me. They had been involved for months my god that was killing me. The sneaking around lying, I mean how could someone who claims to love you do that? How many times had Lissa looked me in my face and openly lied about her and Dimitri. Closing my eyes I really didn't want to know god I just didn't want to know.__

_"_Rose." Levent said softly in my ear pulling me back slightly. "Were home." Nodding my head I pulled away but I could feel Levent's eyes follow me as I got out of the car and started walking back to the estate.__

__I was emotional drained that it just hurt to much to think. But at the same time I was angry. I was more then just angry I was mad as hell. __

_"_I see your finally made it back. Sorry I didn't get to come and talk to you during your dads party." Christian said when I started to open the door to my room. My aunt was having dinner with prince Alexander Voda." He said leaning up against my door frame. He looked good compared to everyone else that I saw wearing a scruffy looking suits like my old man. Christian had on a pair of black stoned washed jeans and a dark black long sleeve button up shirt that was tucked in at the waist along with a pair of black penny loafers. Man did he look good, blushing because I was starring I turned my attention back towards the door.  
><em>_

_"_Do you want to come in, I'm just going to have some coffee and relax before going to bed. I'm suppose to be at work here in a couple of hours. I'm hoping Levent will give me the day off." I said pushing the door open and going into the small bedroom apartment.__

__So did you have a better time at Abe's event then me having dinner with my aunt?" He asked following behind me.__

_ _Throwing my keys on the table and grabbing the coffee pot. Then filling it up with water I had the coffee brewing within minutes. "Define having a better time." I replied after I had set out two coffee mugs. "Because I'm sure having diner with your aunt was more fun. Then having a nuclear bomb dropped on me one right after the other, the way I had all night." I replied, hearing Christian in the other room turning on the television.__

__When he came into the little kitchenette area that I had made up. He leaned on the door frame just as I was pouring our coffee's.__

_"_Okay what big explosion was that be Miss. Hathaway?" He answered back then taking the mug that I handed out to him. Lightly blowing the steam from mug and taken a hearty swallow. I followed him back into the bedroom plopping down on the love seat couch.__

_"_Oooh the fact that I got sucked into Lissa head again and learned that both Dimitri and her um...um.. had been involved for months after he got his soul back. Or that my genius father has set me up royally by becoming Maria Conta's guardian who is petitioning to be a candidate for being the next queen. Or try this one on for size. Running into Dimitri on the beach and him saying he loves me. So take your pick." I said blowing on my coffee again then taking another sip.__

_"_Your right, you win having diner with my aunt Tasha was more fun." He laughed out then drinking his coffee as well. Leaning over I grimaced in pain from my ribs and I closed my eyes taking several shallow breaths in. Then setting the coffee mug down on the coffee table. Christian's sparkling pale icy blue eyes didn't miss the flicker of pain flash on my face and his hand tentatively brush the hair away from my cheek.__

_"_It looks like you have been fighting again." He softly his finger tips grazing my cheek from where the Strigoi had gotten me earlier. __

_"_Yeah but you should see the other guy." I snorted back, then winching again from the sudden movement. Leaning back on the couch I rested my head on Christian's arm and he pressed play on the remote. The Fast and The Furious; came blaring on with Vin Diesel playing as Dominic Toretto, a street racer__

_"_Lissa's filling up with darkness." I said quietly staring blankly back at the television screen. "She going mad from all the effects of spirit." __

_"_And your beating yourself up for that aren't you." Christian said clearing his throat then covering his hand over mine.__

_"_Yes...no I don't know." I said shaking my head ruefully back. "It's just well Moroi's have always come first...Not this time Rose, not this time. For once put yourself first." He said harshly even his eyes looked stormy from the emotions he was feeling.__

_"_That what you really want me to do is put myself first and break everything that I believe in. My mantra everything that I was taught at a small age...yes that exactly what I want you to do." Christian said louder his own voice growing as much as mine was.__

_"_Fine." I nearly screamed out. "Then kiss me." I said in a small whisper looking back at him, then swallowing the enormously large size lump that had formed. Why the hell had I said that before my brain could come up with a reasonable answer Christian leaned in. His lips brushing featherly soft against mine and my left arm encircled around his neck. __


	13. The Wall

__His lips were soft, warm as they glided over mine testing the waters just to see if this was really what I had wanted. His right fingers traced the side of my cheek bone, then the contours of my jaw. Padding down to my neck just to cradle the back of my neck. When my mouth responded to his. My hand threaded busily into his hair testing the weight and texture of the fine silky strands. His breath caught and hitched in the back of his throat. His hair felt wiry but at the same time soft as silk. His hands gently rubbed up against my arms back and forth squeezing. While they travel on the downward slope sending tingling sensations and goose bumps on my arms. At the same time drawing me closer so that my chest touched his. I could feel the steady thrumming of his heart against mine as it pounded hard against his chest. Both of our breathing picked up as neither one of knew what to expect or just how far this would go. The heat rush into him, warming me to my center as my mouth parted under his and his tongue lightly swirled in finding mine. Moaning softly into him, his hands slid even more around me. Applying more pressure into his fingertips as his one hand slid down my side, then finding my waist. Trembling from needing this, needing him and regardless just how brief it was. We both were connecting needing to feel cherish wanted even desired again. When my other hand slide up the side of his back. Christian deepened the kiss even more making it become more demanding. Neither one of us couldn't seem to get closer to the other, when my back started sliding back on the couch downward. I grabbed Christian's back, digging my nails into his shirt, pulling his body towards me so that his body stretched out on top mine. While my fingertips felt the muscles in his back strain and react to my touch. The hard ridges between his shoulder blades rippled and as my hands glided down to his low back they flexed and bounced under my fingertips. Images of Dimitri sprang into my mind, the hours of practice and training with him. The way that he held me in the gym, our first passionate real kiss from when he pinned my up against the gym walls. The brief heated moments in the cabin when he had loved me so completely. In return I gave Dimitri my heart and loss my innocence that I whimpered from the memory. Christian pulled back his thumb wiping the tears that had seeped from the sides of my eyes. __

_"_Dammit." I cried out. Christian pulled me up into a sitting position pulling me into his lap, resting his head on mine. "I wasn't the one who cheated. So why am I feeling guilty? I want this... I really...really do want this...so why am I the one feeling like I'm doing something wrong?" Dropping my head down I couldn't bare for him to look at me. I felt lower then dirt. When the shakes started I tried getting up but instead he pulled me into his chest, wrapping both arms securely around me. __

__Christian let out a deep breath and his hand cradled my face stroking tentatively the skin on my cheek. "Face it Hathaway your not ready, for you it's just to soon. Look at me Rose." When I looked up at him, his face was warm soft gentle and caring. I wanted to look away. Hell I wanted to run and hide and go somewhere and lick my wounds. However his hand prevented me from doing so."You have nothing to feel guilty about and your right you haven't done anything wrong. As much as I'm going to kick myself for saying this, you still love him.__

_"_It doesn't matter what my heart wants anymore." I said with a dry humorless laugh. " He slept with Lissa not once Christian but for months. That how long they both had been lying to us, for months. I can't forgive that. I can't forgive either one of them." Shuddering hard and taking a deep breath I wiped my face with the back of my hand. Throwing both of my arms around him I caught Christian by surprise when I pressed my lips back on his. Just needing to recapture any kind of heat and warmth and he responded just as eager. Again his lips were nice perfect even, god the things he could do with his incredible gorgeous mouth, made me wrap my arms even tighter around his neck. Both of his hands slide down my sides caressing and touching until they slid slowly to my waist. Feeling the heat returning back into him he moaned hard into his throat and it vibrated off of his chest. My mind snapping back into the cabin with Dimitri I broke it off and Christian placed his forehead up against mine while I fingered my mouth.__

_"_I"m sorry." I said shaking my head.__

_"_Don't be." He said with a light chuckle. "It's not everyday Hathaway that I get groped out by a beautiful woman, you just need time." Taking a deep breath and feeling his heart returning to normal he sighed out loudly. "I should be going, you need time to clear your head and this isn't helping either one of us."__

_Climbing off of his lap and walking him by the door. He pressed another kiss to my forehead. "It will be alright Hathaway, who says I'm in any hurry."_

_"Christian." I called out softly and he shot me a devilishly smile."Hmmmm."_

_"Are you every going to stop calling me by my last name? You do know I have a first and it's Rose. _

_"True but it also annoys the shit out of you, so no not any time soon." He said thumping my nose. "Goodnight Hathaway." He said whistling as he walked down the staircase of the estate. I closed the door and returned back to the couch watching the last of the Fast And The Furious movie that was still playing. At some point in the movie sleep came and took me dragging me into the darkness and the dream world opened up and I was back at courtyards in the queen gardens. The sky was nicely lite up in a powder blue with big white fluffy clouds taking shape of Rose's. The yellowish sun felt so real that I could feel the warming rays of heat seeping into my skin from the halter top that I had been waring. The thick green patch of grass felt so real that my toes squished under the delicate blades. In the gardens there were a variety of flower from jasmine, to carnations that were in every color, from reds, yellows,blues, purples. There were just as many colors for the pansies, also in the gardens were roses long stemmed as well as rose bushes with just as many brilliance of colors. Adrian was leaning up against the tree, there were tired haggard lines under his eyes from lack of sleep. His normally messy hair was even messier. His cotton blue and gray pin striping shirt was wrinkled as though he had slept in it. Even his black trouser looked slept in and hung loosely off his hips. Pulling his one hand out of his pants pocket. He pulled a drag off of his cigarette that was nestled between his lips, blowing the grayish smoke into the air._

_"I'm sorry about your aunt I just found out about her, this evening at the old man whatever you want to call it party." Strolling over towards me Adrian took both of my hands pulling me towards him to sit at a bench. That over looked one of the queens fountains. It was spraying cool misting water up into the air then coming back down into the basin of the fountain. "My charge Maria says the doctors can't seem to find whatever is making her sick. Has there been any changes?"_

_He snorted in disgust and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Doctors what the hell do they know? Of course they haven't figured out what is making her sick. All they can think about is poisonings and regular sickness. What not being said is there is just no damn cause." He bit back more tersely. _

_"They maybe onto something with this whole poisoning thing." He said shaking his hands into the air. "But god their such hypocrites they can't even open their minds. To the possibility of spirit or something that they haven't been able to detect you know._

_"Okay then lets look at this logically who has motive for killing the queen?" I asked giving into the possibility of someone meaning her harm. _

_"Take your pick Rose...Victor and his crazy brother who is out their somewhere that we helped freed. Not to mention a full Strigoi empire that would love nothing more then to watch the monarchies to fall. Who doesn't have motive?" He asked sounding more then reasonable._

_"Have you talk to Stan or the other guardian's...talk...talk ..talk that's all we ever do around here." He grumbled out. Growing restless he sprung to his feet pacing around in the garden becoming increasingly agitated. Taking his hand and roughly threading it through his hair, he stared back at me. His emeralds green eyes looking dark but yet somehow cool. If I didn't know any better, I would swear that Adrian was reacting to spirit but I remained silent._

_"I don't mean to dump all of this on you Rose, but it just feels like everyone is giving up and have decided to accept her fate in dying. I can't get anyone to help me, I just need some damn help." He said angrily then punching the tree that was beside him._

_"Fine I'm not a doctor Adrian. I'll do my best to help, you know that I will." Rubbing at my sides, my ribs were really bothering me, enough that I took slow shallow breaths._

_"Can you get me a sample of the queen's blood. Maybe I can have my old man's doctors take a look at it. Maybe they can spot whatever her doctors missed." When my eyes flickered back towards Adrian's he was visibly calming down and for the first time during the whole spirit dream I caught what looked like a glimpse of hope cross into his face. Then out of know where the dream abruptly ended and I was freezing, wet and soaked to the bone._

_"Good morning Rose." Levent said smiling and holding a damn bucket in his hands. "Time for level two. I expect you to be on the circuit...ten minutes." I growled back, my eyes glaring the look of hate and death back at him. Which only made him smile even more. His gray eyes twinkling in utter amusement that I scoffed back at him. Wishing that I could just throw something at his smug face he laugh back loudly._

_"Well I was going to give you an hour for breakfast. Trust me when I say your going to be needing it but if you insist then ten minutes will do." He said with a smug grin on his face. _

_Grumbling I got up and walked over to my dresser feeling his eyes on me as I pulled out a change of clothes. Tossing them on the bed, he crossed his arms in front of his chest._

_"What you want a show?" I snarled out but he just stood there watching as usual. Taking a shallow breath I turned my back towards him and pulled up my shirt when it was completely off and had fallen to the floor. I heard his breath hiss loudly out in a rush, then heard him walking over towards me. I felt his hands on my sides tracing a burning pattern on the outlines of my back and he turned me around. Only his eyes wasn't on me. Following their path I saw what he was looking at. Deep blackish purple bruises from when I had fought the Strigoi's and had crashed into the window. Had formed on my abdomen sides and my guess from my back by the way he was acting._

_"Are any broken?" He asked snapping his head up, god the prick was all business today. Where had the understanding compassionate man that I had seen last night go._

_"I think their cracked but it's like you said guardian's get these kinds of injuries everyday. Right Gendarmerie ?" I replied tartly. "So if you don't mind I would like to finish dressing. Unless you haven't had enough of a show. Then again maybe you want more." I said cocking my head to the side starring coldly back at him. Dropping his supper heated warm hands that was making my heart flutter back to his sides he turned as though he was leaving._

_"That depends Hathaway are you offering?" He asked as walked out the door._

_"Asshole." I screamed back winching in pain. While I attempted to pull on my tank top. I shudder and cried out from the pain, groaning because the fiery heat seemed to spill over when I bent forwards to put on my shorts I took in a few more shallow breaths. Then padded over to the mirror grabbing the hair brush. Squeezing my eyes shut until the pain went away I looked at my reflection the damn tank top didn't hide any of the bruises if anything it showed them more clearly then it had before. Letting out a deep sigh and brushing my hair back I tied it off into my usual ponytail. Then walked over towards the door slipping on my running shoes. _

_When I went down stairs and went into the dinning halls. I felt they eyes of everyone around me. Serena, Debian along with Styles were at the buffet table loading their plates with succulent bacon. Mouth watering buttery waffles and ummm tasty hash browns and eggs. Glancing over at Serena sure enough Levent had called it she was wearing a hat on top of her head. Looking at the edges and sides it looked shaved, that I bit down hard on my tongue to keep from laugh out. She had shaved her head bald._

_"Good morning everyone." I said when I started filling my plate with the mouth watering bounty in front of me._

_"Oooh just get it over with." Serena hissed out. "You know you want to laugh to like the other clowns did."_

_Again I had to bite down on my tongue just to keep from laughing Serena's face glowered amber red, rolling her eyes she pulled the hat off. While Styles and Debian chuckled however it was the look in her eyes that stopped me from doing the same thing. It was a look that I more then recognized, pain and it stopped me right in my tracks._

_"Maybe I'm not like these air heads and just don't see the humor in it." I said dryly and finished loading my plate. Her face soften and she looked at me with an unsure expression._

_"Besides if you boys wants something to giggle and laugh about just look in the mirror fellows. Because I don't see either one of you of you manly man's with anyone." Looking over at the direction of the beach Serena started following when I walked away from the buffet showing the two comedian's up. _

_"Thanks." She said tapping my back. _

_Smiling with a sincere smile I watched her darted outside and just as I was about to do the same. Until I felt cool fingers lightly touch the back of my arm I didn't need to turn around to know who it was._

_Curtsying I lowered my eyes trying not to stiffen in pain as I lowered myself into the half bow._

_"Princess." I acknowledge then straightening back up to look back at her in the eyes._

_"Rose for god sakes please drop the title. It's Lissa remember." She said frustratedly in a harsh voice. She wore her hair pulled back french braided today it hung long and heavy down her back. With a soft color teal silk top it really brought out the emeralds of her eyes, along with pair of white shorts For a Moroi she was dressed for the weather and catching the attention of Debian and Styles._

_"Princess I have to train soon. So can we just hurry this along or do you want to join me out on the beach." I replied ignoring her request for me to drop the use of her title. Nodding her head she followed me out as I took the lead and bit down heard on my cheek as I leaned forward sitting in the sand to stare directly into the waves. Serena looked questionably back at me and I snorted._

_"Princess Dragomir this is my colleague Serena, she is also training this morning with me." Serena smiled brightly offering her hand towards Lissa who eagerly shook it._

_"It's Lissa." She smiled warmly back._

_So how do you know Rose?" Serena asked pointing her finger towards me. Picking up my fork and shoving a large piece of waffle into my mouth I looked icily back at the ocean._

_"I use to be the princesses guardian." I mumbled out taking another large bite of my waffles._

_"She also happens to be my shadow kiss sister as well." Lissa added._

_"Nope not sister, just shadow kiss and not even that's by choice." I said clearing my throat drawing Serena's eyes._

_"Rose we need to talk couldn't we do this inside." Lissa leaned over asking when she glanced down she saw the bruises. I rolled my eyes, shoving a piece of bacon into my mouth. Just as her hand reached out to touch my stomach, I caught a hold of her wrist in my hand. I tore my eyes away from the ocean glaring just as icily and cold back at her as I had moments before._

_"Don't ever touch me princes... not ever." The sinister voice that sprang out from me had been cold, emotionless, lacked every form of warmth. Looking fearful Lissa pulled back her hand carefully and I looked back at the ocean. "I know why your here and the answer is no...Rose dammit you have to help me." She yelled back and I got up taking my plate to the garbage can and tossing the rest of the meal away._

_Help you...help you." I fired back. "I have been helping you, your whole life figure this shit out on your own._

_"He loves you...I think he always has...even when he was numb and couldn't feel anything Rose...I was nothing more then a distraction, so he didn't have to face what he had done as a Strigoi. _

_ When I looked up I saw Levent walking past us. His eyes flickered first from mine then to Lissa's. Nodding his head he was giving me the signal take all the time I needed and god I prayed it would be much longer. _

_Crossing my arms over my chest to keep from pummeling the life out of her. I took a shaky breath damn the pain in my ribs felt good, at least it was taking my mind off of her._

_"I don't care why he did it or even for that matter why you did it. Can't you see princess." I bowed once more. "I just simply want you both to leave me alone. Why did you come up here to my home...better yet why the hell are you intruding on my life...can't you see when your not wanted._

_"Rose that enough." Levent said softly placing his hand around my waist and leading me away. But Lissa was determined she wasn't going to be swayed by Levent and she grabbed my wrist with such fast moves and grace that I spun around in Levent restraining hold. Snatching her wrist in my other hand and twisting it in the opposite way that wasn't natural, she dropped to her knee's_

_"Rose please." She balked out tears were forming the size of big alligator tears in her eyes, then dripping down her chin. "Your my sister...your the only family I have left." She whimpered out. _

_The cruel smile that etched across my lips twisted up into an evil smirk. I felt my whole face harden as I laugh back at her._

_"Family...that's right." I said tapping my head. "To bad you weren't thinking of me all those nights that you were with him. Sister indeed" Twisting her wrist a little harder Lissa let out a penetrating scream. Levent's hand closed over my hand and her wrist. His smokey gray eyes flashed briefly then looked directly into mine. That I swallowed forgetting where I had been at. "There a wall on the other side of the circuit go there, I'll meet you shortly." Nodding my head I let go of Lissa wrist and started walking to where he instructed me to go._


	14. The Tear Jerkier

Tonight, a candle lights the room  
>Tonight, its only me and you<br>Your skin, like gravity  
>Is pulling every part of me<br>I fall, you and I collide What if I stay forever? What if there's no goodbye? Frozen for a moment here in time, yeah If you tell me the sky is falling, Or say that the stars collide, The only thing that matters in my life, Is you and i tonight Our eyes close, the candle burns away, But I know the fire still remains, This love, is all we need, We fit together perfectly, I fall, you and I collide What if I stay forever? What if there's no goodbye?

Faber Drive - You And I Tonight Lyrics

_When I passed by the circuit I turned back once only once just to see Levent talking to Lissa. The conversation that they were having was heated and Lissa was doing most of the yelling. Her hands were flailing wildly into the air like a spoiled child not getting her way. Grinding my teeth together, I could not help notice Dimitri walking up to Lissa and Levent. No doubt to talk, some common sense into her. Several feet away from the circuit, I came to the understanding why Levent called this particular spot the wall. The reddish brown bricks rose up into the sky at least twenty-five feet high into the air. Feeling my temper flaring and roaring it's ugly head to life. I knew that Levent intended for me to climb it. In the center of this large massive wall was a thick braided rope. Out of frustration, I ran grasping it in between my hands and fingers. Hand over hand I pulled on the rope, with my legs semi tucked under me. I started climbing it venting my frustrations. My sides burned and the pain that I had earlier was now fiery white-hot scolding my sides. Panting hard my hands still moved one over the other, climbing further and higher until I reached the top. Swinging the rope hard on the other side I started rappelling down kicking my feet as I went lower and lower._

_"You were supposed to jump and repeat the course. However with cracked ribs you shouldn't even be doing it." Levent crisply bit out, then shoving his hands into his pockets. _

_"Well if you didn't want me doing it, then why the hell do you send me here?" I asked challenging back, glancing over at Lissa she was arguing with Dimitri, and his hand caught her upper arm dragging her away from the beach. Then back towards the estate. When I looked back at Levent, his eyes had followed the same direction as mine had._

_"To deal with this you're not even in the right mind set to begin training, right now. I sent you here to cool off. _

_I did not ask you for your advice in anger management. I manage just fine." I snarled out running to the other side. Grasping the rope again, I started climbing the wall. In addition, when I reached the top Levent sat down on the sand watching me, his arms lightly folded on his knees. I was, supposed to jump from this height so that's what I did. However, the impact alone was hell as it vibrated my entire chest, when I felt my cracked ribs give way into a sharp snap. Rolling around on the ground trying to catch my breath. Levent stood up and strolled over towards me, then kneeling just a couple of steps away he pulled off his sunglasses. I was assuming he had put them on when he was dealing with Lissa. His gray eyes pierced hotly almost in a warning of some kind into my mine._

_"Still think you can manage?" He asked his gray eyes flashing and his jaw locking in disapproval _

_Getting back up I was about to repeat the wall again. When his hands shot out stopping me, grasping me by my upper arm he threw me as if I was a bag of potatoes over his shoulder. With both of my hands free, I pounded wildly on his back._

_"Put me down or so help me...just as I was ranting sea water filled my mouth as he tossed me in. When my head emerged, he was glowering back at me._

_"i said cool off." He said shaking his finger hard at me just daring me to say anything back. Spitting and spurting because I had swallowed more then my share of salt water I looked ominously back at him.  
><em>

_"You think you're the only one in this whole world that has been lied to and cheated on?" His voice carried a harsh under tone that sounded as though it was on the verge of cracking. His eyes did not hold the weight of pity or even judgment. Rather then, it was a look of understanding, a deeper form of understanding. "Get over yourself Hathaway there other victims in this world, who behave a hell of allot better then you. _

_"How the hell would you know?" I spat out angrily, my sides were hurting even more as my hands on the surface were moving back and forth treading water, just to keep my head a float. "Unless you yourself have ever had to go through it. All I see is you barking out orders and mostly keeping to yourself and you want to stand there and lecturing me on the merits of how to behave." Trudging through the water, I cringed back when Levent's hands shot around my upper arm pulling me to the full length of him._

_"Like I said Hathaway you're not the only one who has gone through it." Levent's voice cracked on the words. He took a deep steadying breath as though he was calming his own feelings down, however when he looked back at me there was a softness in his eyes. It was more as his storm grays had sought mine out, not letting me look away. Swallowing hard the lump that had formed in the back of my throat everything clicked he wasn't just talking about anyone. Levent was talking about himself. Lowering my eyes I grew silent and he took another deep breath._

_"Let's get you inside you need to have those ribs looked at." Nodding my head, I crossed my arms over my chest suddenly feeling cold. Shocked I just didn't know what to say while I followed him. Chewing on my bottom lip and every so often to look over at him. Levent pulled out his sunglasses even that registered in my fog ridden my mind. His glasses was a way of shielding himself, hiding his own misery so others like myself couldn't get close to him. Shuddering I looked at Serena, Debian and Styles who had seen pretty much everything that had happened. When Levent opened the door to the estate, I saw both my mother and Abe standing over by the window rolling my eyes in embarrassment they had seen everything that had happen as well. _

_"Is it not enough that you dictate my life, now you're both into spying?" I snapped out bitterly and glaring at the both of them._

_"Quit being so melodramatic." Abe replied moving his hand away from the small of mom's back to stroll over towards us. "So where are the two of you off to?" He said clearing his throat shifting his eyes from mine to Levent's._

_"Miss. Hathaway needs to see the doctor and I thought it was only suiting she get changed first." Levent said with ease that I bit down hard on my cheek._

_"What have you done to yourself now?" Mom asked impatiently her foot was tapping while she waited for an answer._

_"It's my ribs from the other night." I replied not wanting to go into detail. "Didn't you get the memo on the attack on Maria…Yes well I have been busy helping Ekaterina with the petitioners, so I'm afraid that I haven't gotten to it yet." Abe said looking tired and worn._

_"I'm expecting a package from Adrian and discretion needs to be used. Adrian believes that his aunt is being poisoned in some kind of manner." Shrugging I looked anxiously at Abe." Maybe through spirit or some other way, he has asked for my help. By the way, old man why didn't you tell me that he left, it was through his dream walk that I learned that he was even gone._

_"It must have slipped my mind." He said thoughtful however, the look on his face said he wasn't being completely honest. "Go and get changed." Abe replied cleverly changing the subject. By the way he was acting I was sure he was hiding something._

_"I have the other students waiting for me." Levent said excusing himself and leaving, letting out an airy sigh and walking up the stairs. Each step that I took was slow and painful, just as I had made it up to my room I realized that I wasn't alone. The same connection that always alerted me to Dimitri presence was going off and I lifted my head looking for him. Not seeing him in the hallway, I pushed my door open. It was then and only then that I realized my first mistake. I had been ambushed, I felt powerful arms from behind wrapping around and pinning mine so that I couldn't even so much as raise a fist. Then literally taking me off of my feet. The incredible smell of after-shave wafted my senses as my head was thrown backwards. I knew that smell and fragrance belonged to one man and one man only._

_"What the hell is going on Dimitri? I snarled fighting to get free of him just to see Lissa stepping into the room. Her angelic face was soft and smooth as she started walking towards me. "Dimitri." I screamed even louder demanding answers and wanting them now._

_"Looks like you forgot my second lesson. Always be aware of your surroundings.," He said more closer into my ear._

_"Relax Rose I'm just going to heal your injuries and nothing more." She said more stiffly then came closer. The closer Lissa got the more combative I became. However, there was nothing I could do to get the towering Russian giant off me._

_"When this is over Dimitri, I will make it my goal and mission to kick your ass." I ranted out but his arms only tightened even more. Lissa came cautiously closer and her hands touched my sides, feeling the warm and cold tingling sensations flood through me. Groaning in pain as I felt the ribs popping and pulling back into place I sagged back weakly against Dimitri. Reaching up she touched my cheek making the slashing marks disappear. "I would have healed you sooner Rose if you had quit being so stubborn and just allowed me to." She said softly._

_"Maybe I had the right to say no; maybe I didn't want you to. How far do I have to go to get away from the both of you?" I asked feeling myself breaking, no longer fighting or resisting Dimitri just held me not letting me go."_

_"Thank you Liss." Dimitri said ignoring my question. Lissa nodded her head giving back a sad smile; it was obvious on her face that she had allot more that she wanted to say. However, she didn't as she crossed the room and opening the front door leaving. Pulling me roughly towards the wall Dimitri didn't relinquish his hold. In fact, it had actually tightened as he slid down the wall taking me with him. The way that his body slid down dragging mine with him. I was nestled between his legs partially sitting between his legs when he threw them around mine preventing me from being able to move._

_"I didn't know you were into bondage. That must have been something you picked up from Lissa." I replied tartly putting as much venom into the words that I could._

_"You're not running and you're sure as hell not leaving your home...…Says you and what army." I snorted back effectively cutting him off. "We both know I don't need an army Rose."_

_"I slipped that leash once I can do it again." I admitted ruefully. " That is what I had been thinking when I came up here." I added struggling to get away.  
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_"Yes but I found you both times in fact." Dimitri said airily "I can always do it again." Squeezing my eyes shut my head leaned back wondering just what he wanted._

_"You remember back in Portland Oregon when I first met you and Lissa for the very first time. When I didn't answer he must have taken my silence for a yes. "I knew then you were something special the way you tried to protect her even after she had feed from you." He said softly into my neck. I shivered when his warm breath fanned out against my skin._

_"Not special enough." I said tightly trying to keep from breaking. "Why are you here?" I asked out again, needing to put as much distance between Dimitri and myself as possible._

_"To apologies even if this is the last time that I can hold you like this. To be this close to you only even if it's for a couple of minutes." I felt his warm hot mouth slid over the skin on my neck just by my ear and I trembled from the contact. Damn I still could not control my reaction to him. "I'm so sorry Roza for hurting you as a Strigoi and for now. I would give anything to take it all back. I own that much." He said softly moving his mouth up into my hair. Taking a deep breath as though he smelled the shampoo I shivered even more._

_"You hurt me must by sleeping with her….out of all the people Dimitri; Lissa?" I said feeling my heart breaking._

_His one hand slid softly against the side of my arm gently rubbing. Then he rubbed his face in frustration and placed it back on me. Taking several minutes of quick breaths in-between Dimitri cleared his throat. "I think allot of it had to do with her restoring my soul. The flooding of energy that passed between us the way it bonded me so completely to her. I mean I cannot really explain it. It was pure love, innocent and strong. When my soul slammed back into my body, it was the only thing that I felt at the time. Everything else was just gone; being with Liss was my way of just trying to recapture some of that back. I spent my every waking moment in a hellish state reliving everything that I had done. I was cold... empty Roza I could not feel anything, not love, not hate. Then everything came rushing back all the guilt the shame of what I had done._

_"And what you felt from Lissa when she restored your soul." I finished for him Dimitri shuddered breathing deeply. His hands moved even more on me but he keep the contact light. "God I hurt you, words alone will never be enough to tell you just how sorry I am." He shuddered again and his fingers abated into my skin pressing and releasing over my arms. If I had tried to run, he would have just held me even tighter. _

_"It wasn't until that night when you walked in on Lissa and I, that I felt something more and realized what I had done. Dammit then it was too late…the damage had already been done." He said remorseful agony lining his voice. _

_Wiping the tears that were suddenly pouring down my face. A few had dropped onto his arm and I felt Dimitri stiffen under me. Thankfully, my hair acted as a curtain hiding the emotion that was no doubt written all over my face. Words didn't need to be said that I understood. Because hell I did, but it didn't stop it from hurting either. "Can you let me go now…you've apologized." I said shakily wanting desperately to be left alone. I couldn't deal with this, I couldn't handle the hole that was left in my soul and I trembled. Not because of him anymore but because of the enormous pain that I felt. It was as if my body had gone into total shock and the tremors were the after affects._

_"Not yet." Dimitri said guilt flowing into his voice. His hands tightened on me even more as though he could sense that I was more than ready to run. Kissing the back of my neck affectionately, it felt like he was saying goodbye in his own way. "I love you Roza…nothing will ever change that." Squeezing me hard into his chest once more, the smell of his cologne filled me as it lingered on my wet clothing. I wasn't aware that he had released me and got up. When I looked up he was already walking softly to the door shutting it behind him as he left. _

_ I wasn't too sure how long that I sat there starring dumbfounded at the door. Everything inside of me broke. An uncontrollable rage filled every corner of my soul. Getting up and grabbing the lamp it went flying into the door. Splintering into a million pieces, the pictures hanging on the wall were next to follow. Walking over to the dresser my hands swept across the black polished wood sending the television and the stereo hurling into the air. With strength, that I had only used on Strigoi's. Had me lifting the entertainment stand and tossing it out of the window sending fragments of glass everywhere. My rage grew in both strength and size until everything in the room had been destroyed, the way I had been. When the steady knocks came pounding on the door. I opened my dresser pulling out my pajamas then stomping off into the bathroom slamming the door behind me. Climbing into the tub and turning on the hot scolding water, I stood under the sprays. The torrent screams that ripped threw me filled the open space but became wild and unknown to my own ears. The voice that rang out of me sounded like a wounded animal being put out of its misery. Or the harsh shrieks and shrill cries from an insane asylum. Bludgeoning my fists into the tiles in the shower stall, the never ending screaming continued. Until blow after punishing blows. Sliding down completely worn and spent from venting everything that I felt. The hot spraying water rinsed the blood from my hands, knuckles swirling the bloody water around the drain, and my mind numbly stopped. _

**Wow Rose has really lost it, what else do you think this crazy badass will do? Hmmm I wonder? Also what did you think of Dimitri? Ahhh come don't be shy now really tell the vamp what you think! Then there is Levent ummm yum yum we learned something new about him. Stayed tuned because plenty of action is coming our way as everything is taking shape. Also please notice there were fewer grammar and editorial mistakes. That is because I got some new software that acts like a English teacher from hell. Nope it catches allot of my mistakes and points it out then demands that I fix them hahahah. Only the best for you guys! Last but not least. The song that was chosen was by my son who is 14...so please give a shout out to him. Please let me know if you loved it ...hated it or just thought I was way off the mark. Best wishes to all my lovely readers and fans until next time. Your vamp friend Elfina! **


	15. Don't Play With Me

_ The loud crashing and banging from my door, from someone having brute strength was more than I had expected. While I sat there in the misting shower, letting the tiny water, droplets pelting away down my face and the rest of me. Shaking with fury but unable to move forward I wasn't really coherent enough to really take in my surroundings. Strong arms had lifted me from the shower floor as I sat unresponsive looking back. Then slowly with gentle care, the terry cloth towel had been wrapped around me. Then a few seconds later, my pajamas were pulled over my head covering the rest of my body. Throwing my arms and hands around the large neck that had lifted me up. I buried my face into his neck and chest trembling while the last of the tears fell. Carried out of the door way of my room exhaustion filled me and sleep took its place. The soft knocking on the door had me parting my eyes and covering my face from the sunlight. Muffled voices could be heard as I groaned out from my stiffening tense muscles from last night's torturous abuse. A few seconds later I knew I was not alone in the room as my eyes flickered around. There were oil paintings of the different places here in Turkey and the remote beaches and sandy islands. The one picture in particular that had caught my eyes was the blue watery waves of the ocean the soft white misting of sea foam colliding into a larger blue wave. What scared me most about the bizarreness of the whole situation was I did not have a clue as to where I was. Sitting up in bed with a start, and looking around the whole room. My mind worked over time trying to piece together what had happened the day before. However, everything came back empty nothing to explain away just how I had gotten here._

_"Good morning." Levent said carrying a silver tray in and closing the door softly behind him._

_"Good morning." I replied back stiffly covering myself further with the sheets and blankets. "How did I get here?" I asked when Levent put the tray down on the bed stand. Then pulled up a chair beside the bed._

_"I brought you to my room after the disaster that you made in yours. You wasn't in any shape to be left alone last night. Even the house doctor who looked in on you agreed that you should be closely watched. Therefore, I brought you here." He said nonchalantly, but his worried grays looked back into mine. "Do you want to tell me what happened after I left you yesterday?"_

_Memories of Lissa and Dimitri came back in a tidal wave rush and I closed my eyes, hearing everything Dimitri had said to me all over again. "I ugh." I started then looked away. "I was ugh ambushed by Lissa and Dimitri yesterday." I said closing my eyes relieving the painful memory. "They were waiting for me in my room. Lissa healed me, while Dimitri held me down and um…..after she left he explained why…..why he did what he did with her, of all people her. Is it so wrong to want to be left alone? To expect the people who hurt you the most just to stay the hell out of your life, because I swear those two love tormenting me." I laughed softly out." On the inside, it feels like I'm slowly dying a little at a time day after day. Is it so wrong just to need space from them?" I asked looking back at Levent. I could see anger and rage flash over into his face but he kept those thoughts detached from his eyes._

_"No it's not wrong Rose and I promise for the short amount of time that there here, they will leave you alone. You have my word on that." He said solemnly. "In the meantime, just focus on your training otherwise, you'd be no help to your charge."_

_'So um you found me?" I asked feeling my cheeks burning hotly, his own face flushed as well, and he nodded his head. "You um pulled me from the shower?" I asked stating more of a fact and again Levent nodded his head. I could feel the fiery blazing sting burn all over my face. _

_"With the craziness aside did you um think…..Would you like to find out what exactly I thought?" Levent asked suddenly quiet, it was the intense heat that I saw burning within his eyes. The way his gray eyes darken even more that made me swallow hard, and made my face blush a little more. Leaning over the bed Levent brush the hair away from my face. "Don't play with me Rose and don't ask questions that you're not ready to hear the answers to. Because unlike Belikov or that boy I have seen you hanging around with. I'm not stupid enough to walk away and I will answer your question whether you're ready for the answers or not. Taking a deep shaky breath, I tried steadying my breathing, then licking my suddenly dry lips. Levent flashed me a half smile noticing the affect his words had on me, and what an affect they did have as my blood felt as though it was boiling through every part me. Standing up he reached over and tapped my leg." Eat your food Hathaway and I'll see you down on the circuit."  
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_When he left, I was trembling and it took several minutes to calm myself as my heart hammered away into my ears. Pulling back the lid to the silver tray there were buttery biscuits and homemade gravy along with a side of sausage. Devouring every tasty morsel that I could shovel into my eager mouth, I patted my stomach in contentment enjoying the fullness feeling. Afterwards when I was finished I pulled the sheets up to my face inhaling his husky lingering scent. Unlike Dimitri's; Levent's, scent was that of the ocean the smell of the lingering salty air mixed with tanning lotions. It smelled wonderful something that you would want to bottle up and save for a raining day. A short time later, I pulled myself from the bed finding a change of clothes in the bathroom, which I hurriedly got dressed and brushed my hair back pulling it up into a ponytail. _

_ When I stepped out of Levent's room and found myself in the different part of the estate, I chew on my bottom lip finding the staircase. Again, I heard the same muffled voices that I had heard from earlier on it turned out to be my mother, Abe and Levent talking quietly._

_"Did someone die or something?" I asked stepping off the last step just to have all three heads turn and look at me._

_"The package that you have been expecting has come in for you and they were debating whether or not they should give it to you." Levent explained. "I was simply telling them that you could handle it." _

_"Rosemarie are you alright?" Mom asked coming to stand beside me. For the first time in a while, I shook my head. "I'm fine just keep them away from me or just let me pack up and run." I said staring back at her and Abe. "Now about Adrian's package." I asked looking at them both and Abe cleared his throat. "You'll find it on top of my desk in the study." Nodding my head I took off in that direction. and Levent followed me. Half way there a wave of nausea cramp into my stomach. It was not as strong as it normally was when Strigoi's were around, but the feelings were there just the same. _

_"What's wrong?" Levent asked stopping me as I was about to enter the old man's library. However, the sensations wasn't as intense, it was off somehow different. _

_"It feels like there is a Strigoi here I can't quit explain it but it's coming from the old man's study." I said. Levent who learned from the last time not to doubt me pulled his stake._

_"That can't be right Rose the house is wired with the wards if they were offline this whole place would be sounding with alarms by now."_

_"I can't explain it." I said rubbing my head. "I know what my gut is saying but somehow it's off." When we both walked into the study, we both cautiously looked the whole room over finding nothing, checking every crack and crevice and coming up empty. However the closer I got to the desk, the cramping in my stomach only grew worse. It wasn't until I was staring down at the package in front of me that I blanched back in horror realization hitting me just as equally hard._

_"Get Abe." I barked out at Levent who flinched from my raised voice. Picking up the phone, I did not hesitate in calling Adrian at court. Hearing the line on the other end ring. I paced in frustration rubbing my head walking back and forth nervously. After a few intense seconds, I returned towards the desk and opened the package that was sent to me. Pulling the contents out I stared at the vile of blood holding up it up to the light, tilting it back and forth. The Strigoi meter in my stomach was going all nuts._

_"Rosemarie, I don't know what this is all about but I have important matters to attend to." Abe said walking into the room._

_"Hello." Adrian's voice answered sleepily and I raised my hand up stopping Abe. "Adrian." I breathe a sigh of relief. "Adrian…I need you to wake up." I said breathlessly into the phone. Instead of responding Adrian groaned in agony and the line went dead and I looked back horrified at Abe. "We need to go back to court, since everyone is here, the queen and her nephew is in danger._

_"Rosemarie your over reacting…I know what's wrong with the queen." I shouted impatiently back. "It's this." I said holding the vile of blood out towards Abe._

_"In this vile is Strigoi's blood, that's why the doctors can't find it. The doses are so low they would not be able to pick it up on their stupid test. "God." I said in frustration rubbing my head and squeezing my eyes shut. "Adrian was right those stupid tests are the reason they haven't been able to find anything." Slamming the phone back down on receiver Abe watched me curiously._

_"You're absolutely sure about this?" He asked after several drawn out minutes._

_"I would bet my life on it." I replied assuring to Abe who looked at me doubtful. Narrowing my eyes, I glared at him long hard pushing my lips into a tight frown of displeasure. "Fine I'm going back to court on my own." I huffed out and started to walk away. Letting out an airy sign Abe slowly shook his head. "Assemble a team of the very best guardians here at the estate and take them back to court with you. I call back and let Alberta know that you are heading up a lead investigation into the queens poisoning." Feeling like a deflated balloon the air whooshed out of me and I turned and walked away._

_"Levent." I heard Abe calling as I left the study to figure out who all was going back to court with me. "She may be in charge but you remember your obligation to me, your still her guardian and I… um.. um….expect you to protect her at all coast in whatever manner you see fit." Even from this distance, I could almost feel a dry humor between the two and it made me stop in my tracks and look back at the study. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Had Abe hired Levent to pretend to care about me? Was everything he had done, the kindness that he had shown or lack of been a total set up. Gnashing my teeth in frustration. I stalked off and hurriedly walked back towards my room. Grabbing a handful of my clothes and throwing them into my duffel bag, shortly later I heard a soft knocking on my door to see Levent standing there._

_"Have you decided who you want to accompany you?" Biting hard on my bottom lip. I pretended he hadn't said anything at all. I was just a dumb sucker that had bought his act. It was his job to get close to me and so he had. _

_"Rosemarie." He said in heavy Turkish. That I rolled around and glared at him squinting my eyes to the full measure of him that I could._

_"What was I Gendarmerie a fucking paycheck? Just so I know for the record, exactly how far does your services go? I mean you been bought by Abe right? The best that money can buy?" I demanded with my hands on my hips. Kicking the door shut behind him, he walked proudly into the room and coming to stand beside me by the closet. Slamming the door shut behind me, causing me to flinch when he roughly shoved me up against the frame of it._

_"I warned you not to play with me Rosemarie." Levent said again in his heavy thick Turkish accent." As for my services your about to find out." He hissed out angrily. Levent's stormy gray eyes pierced back into mine and his mouth quickly followed suit. Taking the breath right out from me. His hands shot out, gripping my waist so hard, and slammed me into the wall of his chest. The way his mouth crushed into mine was like an expert that had mastered the art of kissing long before I had even been born. However, what really caught me off guard was the immediate heat that followed soon after his lips shockingly touched mine. Out of reaction, my hands immediately started fighting back. Trying to pry his hands off of me, for every time that I struggled up against him. Levent's swiftly counter trapping me fully against him and the door. My heart was thunderously beating erratic in my chest until my knees felt weak and heavy. Then I didn't want to fight him anymore and my mouth open under his. Levent's hand engulfed the back of my waist leaning me more into the door frame lifting me up against him. So that I measured close to his height, where he fully deepened the kiss. A sharpening bond and connection was happening from out of nowhere, as electricity seemed to spark off between the two of us._

_ The same hands a moment ago that was pushing him away was now encircling around his neck pulling him closer towards me. He growled huskily and deep within his throat that I felt it vibrated against my chest and I whimpered back in response. When I felt the powerful electricity of his hands glided up under my shirt in my back and digging into my bare skin. I tried breaking off the kiss that was fueled, with need and urgency but Levent would not have it, held me in place anyways, and pressed even more intimately against me. Until I cried out into his mouth from the shock and contact. Lifting his lips from mine, he grazed my cheek and jaw sliding wet open mouth kissing down my neck. I trembled hard beneath him in response from the ever-mounting growing electricity, to where my fingers dug in hard around his shoulders and neck._

_"Still want to find out just how far my service goes." He asked lightly biting and nipping at the corner of my neck. It felt as though a bucket of cold water had been thrown on me and I came back to my senses._

_With everything that I had in me, my body tensed up, he felt the difference, and he lightly chuckled letting me go. "I didn't think so." He said airily then walked back over towards the bed sitting down and I stood there shaking trying to figure out just what the hell had happened. _

_"So back to my original question do you have anyone in mind that should go with us?" Levent asked as though nothing had transpired. Looking back towards him, I blinked rapidly several times then picking the clothes up that I had been holding off of the floor. Clearing the massive lump that had formed in the back of my throat and walking back towards the bed, stowing my clothes into the duffel bag I didn't look at him._

_"Um... Camille... Styles... Debian and ahem… Serena." I said more quietly not really sure of what else to say._

_"Anyone else?" He asked cocking his head to the side so that he could look more into my eyes, then lifting my chin slowly towards him. _

_"Dimitri Belikov." I replied in a quiet whisper looking back at him. _

_I wasn't really all that sure as to why I had named him other than if it was Strigoi blood, then for sure he would probably be able to identify it. _

_"His past experience of being a Strigoi will be invaluable and we could really use someone with those kind of skills, otherwise I wouldn't have named him. However he is a hell…...Rosemarie if you think his experiences will be of some use to us. Then you don't have to explain anything to me. I can still keep him away from you and have him do the job at hand if that's what you want." Nodding my head in agreement. Levent drew in a deep breath, and got up from the bed, then started walking towards the door. _

_"I'll have everything set up for you whenever you're ready." He said then strolled out of the room. _


	16. What Goes Bump In The Night

_Sitting on the bed and running my fingers over my lips from where he kissed me. They stilled burn from the touch as though he was still kissing me, and I swear I could still taste him. Closing my eyes and taking a steady breath. I was shocked ahhh hell who was I kidding, speechless was more like it. The prick had actually kissed me. Flushing hotly as Abe's words screamed loud and clear into my head. I grabbed my duffel bag and stormed out of the room. The invisible bucket of water snapping me out of the heated kiss and more into hearing just how bought and sold Levent really was. Had me grinding my teeth, by the time I had caught up with the others. Everyone was waiting for me as I joined our group with their duffel bags and other luggage. Throwing my duffel bag down on the ground and walking over to Levent a half smile smirked over his lip but his eyes were hidden behind his dark sunglasses. My right fist shot forward hitting him hard on his cheek just below his eye knocking the smile from his face. Before he could blink I hit him again two more times in rapid secession, until he stumbled backwards.  
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_"Don't ever do that to me again, the last thing I need is to be manhandled by one of Abe's hired help," I hissed into his face with a deadly warning meaning every word. He tenderly touched the spots for a few moments taking it all in and pulled his sunglasses off. His dark gray eyes sparkled with glowing amusement and smiled mockingly back at me. Gripping me hard by my upper arm he pulled me away from the others._

_"If you wanted to get my attention Hathaway you did that a long time ago and if you wanted me to kiss you again, all you had to do was ask." He said very quietly so that the others could not hear. "As for your father I don't have to explain myself to you._

_"You're so right." I laughed aloud softly into his face. "I understand your rules perfectly no questions asked, okay fine but touch me like that again and as god as my witness I'll cut it off in your sleep. So I hope you understand my rules as well. I'm not a damn toy and I sure as hell won't be played by you, Abe or him." I said pointing towards Dimitri. _

_"You always think you can have the last word in everything. Not this time around Hathaway and not with me." He said more softly brushing the hair back from away from my neck with curious fingers. His glowing eyes traveling from my neck then slowly drifting back up to my eyes. _

_"You and me we haven't even gotten started…..and were not going to and if you try that little stunt of your again, you're liable to get a chest or um…..something else of more value with a major case of splinters, I'm not above staking._

_"Well see about that Hathaway, I love a good challenge." He said placing his sunglasses back on._

_"Then I'll just have to improve more upon your looks. Won't I ? What about right here?" I gestured towards the other side of his face that wasn't swelling._

_ "This isn't the time or place ...but soon." He shook his finger at me. "Real soon, we'll just see if your as much the badass as you pretend to be!" Levent said amusingly then walked back towards the group who picked up their luggage. _

_I could feel Dimitri eyes burning a hole right through me as he watched the little exchange that was going on between Levent and I._

_ Still holding the vile, I walked slowly up towards Dimitri and handed it to him and he eyed it skeptically. Levent stayed within earshot as we walked towards the awaiting limo. When I glanced over at Dimitri, he had his guardian mask well locked in. His face reminded me of chiseled granite, carved out of stone locking out all of his emotions as he took the vile that I was offering._

_"Am I to assume this is why you asked for me?" He asked in with a flat baritone voice then stopped suddenly to look at it more closely._

_"Tell me what you see or whatever strikes you first. What is your first impression?" I replied coaxingly hoping that he would help. Popping the cap off Dimitri ran the vile under his nose taking a deep whiff of the blood then making a grimacing face._

_"Strigoi blood but you already knew that, didn't you?" He questioned by arching up his eyebrow, and twirling the vile in his fingers. Letting a smile tug at my lips I shook my head in agreement._

_"Right but in your hands is the queen blood sample. It was sent to me from Adrian and my Strigoi detector went nuts. I mean I actually thought there were Strigoi's in the estate." I said relaxing knowing someone, genuinely thought the same as I did._

_"How is that possible?" He asked his dark brown eyes looking just as confused as I was. _

_"That was what I was hoping you could tell me, somehow the queen is being poisoned with the stuff." I replied drily, then leaning over and climbing into the limo. Levent slid in beside me not giving Dimitri any chance of sitting next to me. Instead, he took the opposite seat sitting across and was joined with Styles and Serena. Debian and Camille both sat up front with Pavel._

_"Have you spoken to Adrian?" Dimitri asked with a serious edge in his voice while his eyes flickered from mine to Levent's._

_"If you call him moaning in pain talking, then yeah." I said looking back at him. "The call lasted for about five seconds, which gave me more of a clue there is something really wrong going on back at court." _

_Sitting back Dimitri tucked the vile into the front pocket of his duster and I sat more back into my seat as well. Serena looked sympathetic back toward me while Styles tried making small talk with Dimitri. The closer we got to the airport my head started throbbing pounding away and I rubbed my temples in agony. All the loud voice in the limo swirled dizzily around me, making me sick to my stomach. The loud orchestra of voice slammed hard as I took deep breaths trying to block them out._

_"Rose." I heard Dimitri voice in the background calling. "Rose are you alright?" He asked worriedly, squeezing my eyes tightly shut I just nodded. Even my vision was becoming blurry as dark black shapes started darting towards me. Their hazy shadowy skeletal faces were rushing by me as the ghosts illuminating essence started taking form. Sad looming eyes openly watched me and I trembled from the pain and tried raising more of my mental barriers pushing them away. Ghosts still freaked me out even though I had seen them many times before in the past. The pain that their visits would bring always made my head feel like it was exploding; this time was not any different._

_"Is there any aspirins or anything for headaches." Dimitri asked while he looked through all the different compartments._

_"No, not in here but on the plane there is. Why?" Levent asked as he turned more in my seat to have a better look at me. Licking my dry lips, I swallowed hard as I opened my eyes straining to block out the shapes and pulling up my mental barriers._

_"They don't know and I rather you didn't tell them." I struggled to get out as my head pounded even harder. My new circle of friends knew nothing of me being shadow kissed. The only one that I had told about being shadowed kissed here, was the masked stranger at the masquerade ball. It was hard enough getting people back at the academy to accept me being able to see ghosts. In the beginning, most of them thought I was going crazy and that was a nightmare in itself that I did not want to relive now. _

_When we got onto the plane, Levent took me into one of the private cabins in the back so that I could lie down. The headache was a mac daddy of headaches as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and waited for him to find some aspirins. When he came back in his face was soften with concern as he brought the glass of water over and the pills for me to take._

_"So what am I missing Hathaway?" He asked, plopping the pills into my mouth and taking the bottle of water from him, then laying back down. I brushed his questions off along with his concerns. Like the prick really had to right to even ask me questions._

_"Rose look at me." He demanded when I covered my eyes with my hand trying to make the pounding stop. "I can't help you when you won't talk to me or tell me what's going on and it's my job as your guar…..No questions remember, as for being my guardian. You forget I wasn't the one who hired you, so you should probably speak to Abe," I groaned out, throwing his hands up in the air for now, the cabin door slammed shut when he stalked off. Burying my head into the pillow, I waited for the throbbing to ease off when sleep showed mercy and claimed me._

_"Rose wake up…..we've landed." Serena called out and shook me hard. Rubbing my head that was still pounding I sat up and looked out the window of the cabin. It was nighttime, the chilly Montana night air was already fogging the windows. Instantly I regretted not bringing my coat, looking over at Serena I was not the only one. Mikhail was sitting in the waiting lounge when Camille, Dimitri, Levent, myself, Styles and Serena stepped into the waiting lounge of the lobby of the Montana airport. _

_"Guardian Hathaway, I see Dimitri has found you again and has brought you home." He smirked out playfully as though I was the runaway troubled teen._

_"Yes well It's not permanent." I replied tartly causing Dimitri to stiffen. When we left the airport there were two black Hyundai-Santa-Fe SUV'S waiting for us out front in the parking lot. Where we divided into two groups Serena, myself Dimitri and Levent rode in the first on and the second Pavel, Styles, and Debian.  
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_"So this is where you guarded Lissa?" Serena asked breaking the silence when we entered into court. Was this where you became her guardian as well?"_

_" No that decision had been made, way before court and St. Vladamir's." Dimitri replied before I had a chance to." Rose worked here as Lissa's guardian for a short time, but knew from a very young age that she wanted to be Lissa guardian."_

_"Seriously so what changed?" She asked tapping my arm and snapping me of my lost childhood days. When Lissa and I had been so close nothing could have separated us._

_"Some things are better forgotten?" I snapped out hastily, the chilling night air had our breaths coming out into white little puffs._

_When we walked up to the palace, talking about things being off there wasn't a single guardian standing his post. All of court looked more of a ghost town instead a place where you would expect to see rich pampered royals._

_"Dimitri take a team…I'm already on it. Serena, Styles, Debian, and Pavel you're with me." He ordered. Pulling his stake, the other four did the same leaving Camille, Levent and myself. Who raced up the palace stairs, while Dimitri and his group took, off through the courtyards checking the security of the wards. Inside the palace it had always felt warm and safe, with the number of guardians that you would expect to see here. However now the lights were off and it felt cold with a foreboding presence as though evil itself had moved in while we were away. _

_"Where is everyone?" Camille asked when she looked around._

_"I don't know but we need to check on the queen and Adrian." I yelled out over my shoulders and running up the stairs._

_ The palace felt like a horror movie. With all the twist and turns that we made in reaching the queens personal chambers. I kept waiting for something to leap out of the shadows as we ran through the long hallway of corridors. The feeling of being watched came from every direction. It was unnerving feeling as though eyes were watching every step that we took, laughing somewhere in the dark just waiting for us to stumble upon them. The throbbing in my head intensified and almost blindside me when I pushed the queens door open and step into the darken desolate room. _

_Stumbling around in the dark and trying to find the light switch. Levent managed to find one by the doorway on the wall. When he snapped it on the room filled with light and on the bed soaked in blood was the queen. Her gentle face was a pasty ashen white chalky from blood loss she had slash marks that had gouged out her chest. Rolling her head to the side, her eyes snapped open scaring the hell out of me when I heard Dimitri racing up the stairs._

_"Your majesty?" I said cautiously stepping closer towards the bed._

_'The wards are broken." Dimitri bellowed until he saw the queen and barged into the doorway, crossing the threshold._

_"You stop…them …you stop them." Queen Tatiana wheezed out and clutching her chest. Her nightgown had the tell tail signs of Strigoi claw marks, as they had ripped across the soft satiny material of her chest. Soaked in blood we had stopped the queen from being murdered in her own bed.  
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_"Your majesty who did this to you?" Dimitri asked surveying the room and leaning over and picking her up. Cradling the queen in his arms as he took her downstairs bellow. _

_"Levent I have to check on Adrian." I told him bluntly and not waiting for him to respond as I left hurriedly back down the palace stairs. Just as I was nearing the front doors Dimitri was carrying the queen out._

_"I have to get her over to the infirmary…..And I have to check on Adrian." I explained sensing Levent not too far behind me._

_"Meet me there." Dimitri said rushing out the front door. _

_"So whose Adrian?" Levent asked jogging up beside me while I was in a dead run._

_"He's Queen Tatiana's nephew and maybe the only one beside the majesty herself that can explain just what the hell is going on here." I barked out. _

_ Just as we had turned for the royal Moroi's building, there were Strigoi's waiting for us. Most of them I had not seen before, but the other I recognized him on the spot. If I thought Robert Duro was sick in life, well as a Strigoi, he was even more frightening. Lost was the crazy wild insane look that his eyes held in life. Instead, replace with a cold sinister calculating glare that made me step back. The Robert I knew could barely hold a conversation much less scare anyone and had always depended on his brother Victor to keep him out of trouble, but not this time. This Robert was very much in control of his actions. _

_"You got all dressed up to impress me? I got to hand it to you. I'm impressed," I noted dryly, looking around and taking in the numbers. Robert's hair had been cut neatly back and what was even more chilling was the manner in which he was dressed. He looked normal dressed in blue jeans and a white and navy blue spin strip T-shirt. However, it was the sick lining in his eyes and his pupils that really called attention to what he was. His dark brown eyes were replaced with blood red irises. All the warmth that at one time had innocently glowed upon his face was now cold, harsh, and sinister as his eyebrows arched up with amusement._

_"So where's Victor?" I asked smoothly hearing the others running up from behind us. With my hand held out Levent, Styles and Camille slowed their approach but did not back off. _

_"Dead." Robert said with ease "He was the first of many and I'm going to add the rest of you on my dinner list." He snarled out barring his fangs but not advancing. "Except for you Rosemarie." He roared out. "You will make a fine addition to our group; we need strong guardians like yourself that can fight._

_"Well I did notice you managed to make some new friends so who else is in your little group._

_"Robert more guardians are coming." A woman's voice that I knew quite well replied. Just as she stepped out of the shadows, Robert's back fist slammed hard into her face. I shuddered hard trying to catch my breath from the nightmare that stood before me. Looking around I was glad Dimitri was not here to see his sister Viktoria. Swallowing hard she had been turned, had Dimitri seen her he would have freaked._

_"I was saving you for last as a surprise for Belikov and you ruined it, like you ruin everything." He growled out menacing, raising his fist again she shrieked away back into the shadows." _

_Narrowing and slanting my eyes, I was just as bloodthirsty at this point, as I knew Dimitri would be and charged right for him. The half-cocked crazed thought was just completely stupid and reckless on my part for becoming emotionally involved. Robert's hand with lightning fast Strigoi reflexes slammed hard on the other side of my face knocking me hard into the Moroi's building. With my head already pounding it felt as though it was going to explode from the impact alone on the bricks, proving that I just was not any match for him. Just as he had hit me Levent had already gotten into the fight along with Camille, Styles and Debian but the look that was on Levent's controlled face, he was going to rip Robert apart with his bare hands. _

_Before Levent had, a chance to even get to him, Robert nodded to the others who blocked his path stopping him. "We will meet again Rosemarie. Tell Dimitri; his sister Viktoria sends her love." He laughed out loudly; just as fast as we had caught up to them they had disappeared back into the shadows. _


	17. Past And Present

_When my head ricocheted off of the building unintentionally my barriers drop and ghosts surge with life as there were to many of them to count. Their bluish glow swirling with mist hovered and floated beside me. Out of all of them, one with sad haunting eyes looked back at me it was Viktoria._

_"You were the one who was trying to talk with me earlier weren't you?" I asked cradling my head, nodding her head yes her eyes became even more huge. When she looked towards the direction of the infirmary knowing Dimitri was there. Looking at the others, I waved them off, as the pressure in my head continued to build up from to many of them coming forward. "Go away I just want to speak with Viktoria." I said weakly. Pushing as hard as I could to raise some of the mental barriers one by one the other shadowy figures disappeared just leaving Viktoria who looked impatiently back at me waiting for me to do something. _

_"Rose who are you talking to?" I heard Serena ask but I ignored her just so I could focus on Viktoria._

_"You went back to the club didn't to you? To find Roland." I asked trying to make since of why she was here, when I had just seen her Strigoi body just a few seconds ago. "To the same club that you and Roland took me to?" Nodding her head yes, she looked as though she was going to burst into tears. Several times, she mouthed the word sorry out but only garbled out sounds came from her lips._

_"I think she hit her head harder than we thought." Debian said when he walked over. "Earth to Rose…..come in Rose." He said snapping his fingers in front of my face, trying to get my attention. "Is she catatonic?" _

_"Ahhh hell Viktoria he's dead, he was turned into a Strigoi a long time ago. The look of understanding filtered into her eyes, she must have already learned that part on her own after she had been awakened and lost her soul. "You're wanting me to tell Dimitri?" Nodding her head suddenly her ghostly form dissipated. _

_"I heard a good slap in the face helps women out of these kind of things." Styles offered blinking rapidly I glared back at him." Try it funny boy and you will find out that I hit allot harder then you." I warned. Levent reached down and pulled me up to my feet, the exploding pain in my head that I had felt all day was suddenly gone as though Viktoria had taken it with her. Levent's eyes were asking questions even though the questions never passed from his mouth, but I just brushed them off.I wasn't going to explain to him or any one else in the group about me seeing Dimitri's sister, something like that was just to personal and hit way to damn close to home.  
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_"Adrian quarters are this way." I replied shoving his hands away from me, then turning towards the open entrance and pushing open the royal dorms doors. The front desk was empty no clerk anywhere in sight and the four guardians that were posted at each entrance was gone. The electricity here wasn't turned off, the way it had been at the palace. Running up two flights of stairs, I didn't pause when I reach the third floor and open the door to the living quarters. The long hallway that divided the rooms were also empty._

_"Dammit where the hell are all the guardian's?" I raked out then started running towards the far side of the hallway, and then spotting Adrian's room. _

_Still clutching my stake tightly in my fingers and pushing his door open. I was not sure what the hell we would find when my hand knowingly turned on the lights._

_"Adrian…..Adrian." When I did not find him in the living room or even in the game room downstairs below. I moved towards the small staircase that leads to his bedroom, it was the only place that I had not checked. In the dark shadows of the room, I could hear Adrian's breathing it sounded heavy as though he was sleeping, reaching over and turning on the light. He was sprawled out across the bed the sheets dangerously tucked around at his sides. While his partially naked body was rolled onto his stomach. When I walked closer towards him, he was paler than normal; his golden alabaster skin, which was normally bronzed, had a chalky white film look to it. _

_Adrian …..Adrian wake up, it's me; Rose." I said sitting on the side of his bed and shaking him hard, just to hear him groan out in agony._

_"What's wrong with him?" Styles asked, and then disappeared going into the bathroom and filling a glass with water. "Here it might help." He said handing me the water and cocking his eyebrow back towards Adrian._

_"I think he has been poisoned as well. Adrian." I called out sharply and slapping him hard across the face. Stirring with life Adrian pulled the pillow over his face while the rest of his body rolled over and slid more toward me. Throwing his arm around my lap and behind my waist, he cuddled up even closer to my lap and resting his head on my knee. Levent just looked at me skeptically and I just shrugged._

_"What….the …hell ..Rose." He muffled out that I stifled the giggle from the rude wake up._

_ It was either that or using Styles and Gendarmerie method of waking someone up and I don't think you would like being cold or soaked._

_'Alright everyone out." Camille said looking over at Adrian half-dressed state her eyes lingering a little bit longer then what was appropriate for a guardian. "Let's give the poor guy a chance to get up and um get dressed." _

_Lightly smoothing his hair off to the side, Adrian moaned out again in pain, but slowly opened his startling green eyes. His eyes were glassy and the shades of emeralds were much lighter then what they normally were._

_"Little Dhampir are you really here?" He asked wrapping both of his arms around my waist and burying his face further into my lap. _

_"Adrian you have to level with me, where are all the guardians…...I don't know all I remember is going to the feeder and then coming back home and feeling like this. Everything hurts from the inside out. Even my hangovers don't feel like this." He groaned out even more._

_His skin was so cold to the touch that I could not help but reminded of the time when I had first touched Dimitri, after he had been Strigoi and thinking the same thing._

_"You have been poisoned….and so has the queen. When we got here, all the guardians were gone and Robert and the other Strigoi's were going to finish the both of you and the queen off. It seems that we got here in time to stop their plans._

_"My aunt they didn't kill my…..no your aunt is going be fine." I hurriedly wanted to reassure him. "Dimitri is with her now, Adrian sit up here you need to feed I told him." I had already started moving my hair off to the side. Struggling to lift his head to look at me, he shook his head stubbornly no._

_"I just need to get to a feeder and I'll be right as rain afterwards._

_"Did you ever stop and think that maybe a feeder did this to you…you have Strigoi blood floating around in your veins. The fact that a Strigoi didn't drain you and then feed you with their blood, suggest this was attempted murder by using a feeder and not an attempt to awaken you. You need a fresh blood supply source." His arms were shaking trying to support his weight on the bed while he looked at me._

_"I won't use you like that. You're not a blood whore." He replied softly._

_"And you don't have a choice now do you? Unless you want Dimitri to feed you…...Cradle robber?" Adrian said cutting off me. "Hell no, I think I would rather starve first._

_ Helping to support his weight and not leaving any more room for him to argue, my hands held him up enough to where I could guide his head closer to my neck. Adrian kissed the spot softly then leaned back. "Sorry." He muttered out and the tips of his fangs lightly sank in. His arms pulled even more around me while he hungrily feed. His mouth moved lightly, gentle on my neck not wanting to cause me any more pain then was necessary. I sighed out in contentment with the flooding of endorphins. When he raised his head, he was already looking stronger, when his arms wrapped around me and tighten to keep me from toppling over. _

_"I always said being with you was better than having…...don't dare you finish that." I sluggishly told him._

_"Get dressed." I said meeting his eyes that had lost some of their glossiness. "I'll wait for you in the other room with the others."_

_"You finally get your big chance to see me naked and you're going to go in the other room." He said lightly chuckling and pulling the sheet even further around his waist so that he could get up. Shaking my hair so that my hair hid, the marks on my neck I stood shakily up and padded towards the living room. _

_"No comment." I replied seriously, "I'll meet you in the other room." It was hard acting normal as the endorphins swam through me but Adrian needed the blood just to function and I was not too sure anyone else would be willing to help him, other than Dimitri and myself. To us they come first mantra really was not a mantra at all, for Dimitri and I it was a way of life._

_A few minutes later Adrian came out of the bedroom his face was still pale, but his eyes were losing allot of the glassiness that they first had when he first opened them. _

_"I take it you got my package." He asked and found his shoes lying by the couch and started pulling them on._

_"It's why we're here." I replied. "As soon as I got your package we all made arrangements to get here as fast as we could." Finding his cigarettes Adrian lit one up and took a long drag from it, his steady emeralds looked over everyone in the room. Pulling the butt away from his parted lips he exhaled the grayish smoke. _

_"Strigoi blood." He said looking back at me after a short while later. "The doctors couldn't even pick it up on their test. He glowered out grabbing his coat he tossed it over towards me and I slipped it on. "It would seem that I'm in all of your debt." He told everyone in the room. "Especially Belikov's and yours little Dhampir." He said walking towards me and kissing my check fondly, Levent cleared his throat catching Adrian's eye. "You remember my guardian and mentor?" Adrian nodded and held out his hand. "Thank you." He said. "For taking care of my little Dhampir, she's one of a kind." _

_Now to see about my aunt." Picking up another jacket Adrian let out an airily sigh and slung it over his shoulder then draping his other arm around my shoulders. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levent's frown he was probably wanting to put on his sunglasses but with it being nighttime he really couldn't. When we walked, up to the infirmary, Dimitri had a tight-corded tourniquet wrapped around his upper arm and tubes ran from his arm to Tatiana's. Her skin coloring like Adrian's was improving and the deep bloody gash that had ran across her chest was slowly healing under Dimitri's care._

_"How is she?" I asked glancing down at her but at this point not caring. I swallowed hard knowing that I was going to have to face him and dreading every second._

_She's going to be fine?" Dimitri said looking back reassuringly at me._

_"I'm going to be better than fine thanks to you my dear. How did you figure it out?" Queen Tatiana asked, faking a cough and clearing my throat I looked and met her piercing eyes._

_"Trust me your majesty you wouldn't believe me if I told you." I replied smoothly, hoping to avoid the direct questioning._

_"You're probably right about that, but then again you would be surprised over the number of things that I do believe about you." She smiled out. "And your friends. "She wavered over. "Come here so I can have a better look at you." _

_"Your majesty this is my mentor and guardian Levent. _

_I have heard many good things about you." Queen Tatiana said pointing her finger at Levent. "Abe Mazur speaks very highly of you….Your majesty." Levent bowed cordially towards her._

_ Over here is my colleague Styles whom I train with….Pleasure to meet you mam." Styles smile and bowed the same as Levent._

_"And this is Levent's assistant and second in command guardian Camille and over here is my other colleague Serena." Both bowed and the queen offered her hand for them to shake._

_"Enough with the formalities my nephew and I are in your debt for saving our lives." She said pushing off the gesture. "Mr. Belikov what security measures have been taken to secure the court grounds?"_

_"None as of yet, I was going to have Styles and Camille do a parameter search and have new wards replaced._

_"Your majesty um... some unfortunate family problem have come up that Guardian Belikov is not aware of. Would it be possible if I speak with him before he heads back home?" When Dimitri heard this, his head looked up sharply at me. His dark brown eyes looking me over closely that I trembled from the questioning look from his eyes. "He is going to need some personal time off but when he returns I beg you to give him a more appropriate guardian's role, one that he is more suited for him. _

_"So you heard of him guarding Jesse?"_

_Nodding my head she smiled knowingly back at me and waved her hand. "Fine I'll have guardian Belikov reassigned the moment he returns. It the least that I can do to grant your request." Curtsying the way that I had been taught I back out of the room. I shook my head for Levent to not follow, and stepped outside in the courtyard, and waited for Dimitri. The whole time I waited I was scared shitless, my heart slammed wildly into my chest. I thought I was going to pass out when a few minutes later Dimitri finally came out. _

_"That's just going too far, we both know I sure as hell…..It's Viktoria." I squeaked out and trembled even harder from his reproaching gaze. 'The headache on the plane…and since we've been here._

_"What are you trying to say?" Dimitri growled out his dark brown eyes darkening even more. Both of Dimitri's hands shot out grabbing both of my arms and shaking me hard, I nervously licked my lips._

_She's been awakened." I whispered out. "The headache was her soul trying to contact me._

_"That's not possible you see ghosts from those who have died Rose…. гребаный призрак вы видите мертвых людей he yelled out in Russian. I didn't need a Russian translator to know he was swearing at me. It was as though Dimitri had went on auto pilot because he shoved me hard backwards and I tripped and fell on one of the steps. Before I had a chance to get to my feet his right fist slammed hard down on my right cheek._

_"ваш гребаный лежал ... вы лежите черт возьми. Ты говоришь, что все это to get back at me for sleeping with Liss, this is your idea of a sick joke just to get even." His eyes glowed in the moonlight from the rage that he was feeling and I swear there were spark of red embers burning from the uncontrollable rage. My own fuse was lit and I sprang right back on him with some combination punches of my own which he easily blocked._

_"I'm telling you the truth." I screamed out as I threw both my right fist towards his face, then my left. While he was focused on my fists and my combination punches, my leg darted in between his and my right foot wrapped around his ankle. Using every bit of my upper body strength that I had. I nailed Dimitri in a trip move that sent him sprawling downing on the ground. Which he did a role reversal back flip. _

_His left fist slammed hard into the left side of my jaw and I was knocked backwards on the steps. The force of the blow cut the inside of my cheek filling my mouth up with blood, which sprayed out all over the steps from my mouth. Grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, I refused to be intimidated by Dimitri but on the inside, his reaction was scaring the hell out of me. The murderous glare in his eyes meant he would not even think twice in killing me._

_"You see dead people… say it." He shouted and shook me harder as though he was shaking a rag doll._

_"In a sense she is dead, Strigoi's are undead they are soulless creatures that are in an unnatural state that's what she is. Robert was with her ...she…she was supposed to be your surprise from Robert." His left fist was about to slam down when Levent came out and grabbed Dimitri arm preventing him from making the contact._

_"Is this what you do to your women Belikov, who try and help you to see the truth?" Levent snarled out, before Dimitri could even reply. Styles jerked me away from him. Levent own fist came down into a power punch striking the other side of Dimitri's face. Dimitri turned on him bringing Levent's arm over his shoulder in order to flip him, but Levent rolled and back flip off of Dimitri's back landing on his feet. With a high arch kick Levent's foot landed on the side of Dimitri face knocking him backwards and away from me. _

_"Viktoria….That's your sister's name?" Levent demanded his Turkish accent running out strongly. "That's what Robert or whatever the hell the Strigoi's name was that called her. And that was who Rose was talking to even though we did not see her." He said posturing up and delivering a roundhouse kick into Dimitri face. Levent had been quicker than the Russian god had; he moved with a speed that he had never even fought me with before. My mouth hung open while my eyes felt like they had bulged out. _

_Just when Levent was about to finish Dimitri off, Camille had gotten between Levent stopping him. Levent gray piercing eyes flashed towards mine._

_"Call Yeva she will tell you if I'm lying, but you have to know somewhere deep inside that I'm not." I croaked out with fresh tears mixing with the blood on my face._

_"Come on Rose." Serena said leading me away from Dimitri. It had been over five years since that night and the letter from the queen, summoning me back to court shook in my hands. While I sat in my charges home._

_"So what happened with the queen?" Maria asked and I let out a deep breath pausing from the memory. We found Alice who was poisoning the human food with Strigoi blood infecting the other feeders. The Alchemists had a field day over it, as they had to clean up the mess that the human caused. As for Robert, ugh." I said getting up from the chair. "He's still out there somewhere and Dimitri... I haven't heard from him since that fateful night. _


	18. What Is Safe

_"God that so awful…..and Lissa have you heard anything about her?" Maria asked. Leaning back against the couch she was sipping her glass of wine, while regarding me with the same serious edge that she always had about her.  
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_"I've popped into her head from time to time; the worst was seeing her lose herself to darkness." I said regretfully. At the time, I knew I was being petty and selfish. Allowing her to go on in that state, but she had hurt me so badly with Dimitri, that at the time it was worth watching her suffer. Just the same way she had lied to me all those months and watched me. _

_"She's in the mental hospital in Montana not too far from court." I said looking down at the carpet. Lissa was committed when a handful of guardians and Dimitri broke her door down and found her bleeding all over the place from cutting her wrists. She was trying to kill herself, the darkness became too much for her. The voices, the hallucinations, my god." I said nervously. "Regardless what she did to me, she did not deserve that." Closing my eyes the guilt washed over me in volumes of waves. One colliding into another I felt bad for what I had done, but at the time I was so angry, bitter and hurt that i just didn't care. _

_"You know that it's not too late…..goodness it's never too late to make amends." She asked arching her eyebrow and I let out a weary sigh in agreement. "And tell me about that hottie that you have been seeing and I couldn't help stifle the laugh that sprang to my lips. "Which one?" I chuckled sitting down beside Maria._

_"You know the devilish hot young man with those gorgeous blue eyes, or is it the other one that I've seen you with. I think you said his name was Adrian." Feeling my face flame red, I shook my head trying to hide my embarrassment with the sheer curtains of my hair._

_"Adrian?" I chuckled. "No him and I are just friends." I said smirking "And Christian and I, sure we have grown closer, much closer." I said letting a more gentle tone filling my voice as my mind remembered seeing him just a couple of months ago. "But nah." I said shaking my head seriously. "Between my father having me tend to his umm business." I said clearing my throat. "And taking all those classes to home in on my Russian, Turkish, French and Italian. I can honestly say it was harder than hell mastering all four languages and trying to develop a love life, much less a relationship._

_"What about Levent…. Rose…. five years and no one?" She asked sounding doubtful, "I just don't believe it."_

_"What can I say about the Turkish general he still has a broomstick up his ass, I mean one minute he sends me signals saying he's all interested and stuff and the next, he's barking out orders like a drill sergeant from hell. Not to mention he has this whole do not ask questions policy. The guy is positively annoying…..but you like him and I can tell." Maria smiled back. "You like him more than you're willing to admit._

_"I like Levent just as much as I like having a root canal on my teeth." I grumbled back and reaching for my can of pop. "With him it complicated." I said waving my can around. "He works for my father and there is just no telling how far Abe has paid him….if you know what I mean." I said raising my eyes toward her._

_"Nooo….he wouldn't." Then getting up with her from the couch and heading towards the kitchen just to swiftly stop and turn back towards me. "Your seriously think that he would…Let's just say when I asked Levent... well he was more than willing to show me just how paid off he was. So you can understand why I don't ask questions, because that is the million dollar one. If I do well he is more than willing to take this….. whatever is going on with us." I replied snorting indignantly "To a whole new level, one that I'm not ready go into just yet._

_"Nobody wants to end up alone forever Rose. Take it from someone who is still searching for that special someone and you." She said laughing and looking back at me with envy. "You have four men." Turning and pulling out the dark chocolate fudge cake out from the refrigerator, and cutting her self a mouth watering slice and one for me as well. "Who are all special in there own way, except for that Dimitri character! Those men deserve having a chance to have a future with you. My goodness girl how many love chances do you think you get in this life? At least play the field and have a little fun while you are young enough to enjoy the attention." Shrugging my shoulders and taking the cake from her, I licked my lips as I was two seconds away from being in chocolate heaven. Just as my fork dove into the most creamy dark center my eyes rolled in the back of my head. While the sweet rich chocolate flavors rolled and burst to life into my mouth. Moaning in delight from the sweetness Maria started laughing._

_"I never seen anyone take such enjoyment from there food the way you do...You think I'm bad." I replied lifting my fork into the air. "You should see the other guardian's back at court, like Eddie and Stan or even Alberta." I snickered out.  
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_The ringing of the nearby by phone snapped the spell that we were under with this whole trip down memory lane. I never thought after Lissa and Dimitri; I would be able to move on much less trust another charge. Being Maria's Conta's guardian had changed all that. Sure, up until tonight, I held back telling her everything that had happened with Dimitri and Lissa. Maria was just so different from the other charges back at court and even more different then Lissa. She was funny, spirited, had a sharp eye to business and detail. Everything about her was night and day compared to the rest of her family. Camille was just as snooty and stuck up as all the other phonies at court. While Mirabel carried on her flamboyant affairs with guys like Ambrose and Blake Lazar. Maria had a strong since of business and was just as much into to polities as my old man was. If anything, she was his student that he had spent his long career in molding. She was very out spoken about Moroi's being able to use defensive magic, after the attack on the queen and the human involvement against the feeders. Maria felt just as strongly as Christian's aunt Tasha, who was working with Abe to have the laws changed. This was another reason Abe had insisted on my guarding her. _

_Throwing my empty can of soda into the garbage and washing off my plate. Maria reappeared with her hand covering the phone. "It's the queen Tatiana." She said holding it out towards me and I felt my skin prickle with nervousness in response._

_Quickly taking the phone, I heard her majesty sighing heavily into the receiver. "Your majesty." I said narrowing my eyes towards the floor._

_"Hathaway is it really you….you sound so different compared to when I spoke to you last. All grown up. I take you it, you have gotten the summons that I have sent you?" She lightly asked not wanting to beat around the bush._

_"Yes your majesty. I just got it, this evening and was in the process of explaining to my charge for the urgent need to return to court._

_"So you didn't forget your promise?" She asked, closing my eyes, and remembering the pact that I had made with her. When Dimitri and I had fought over Viktoria my heart raced on, I knew this day would come eventually. _

_"No your majesty. I haven't forgotten. Thank you for not taking action against guardian Belikov, and for keeping him away from me all these years. How can I help you?" I asked while my teeth ground together._

_"It's Lissa." She huffed out. "I'm sure your aware of her mental condition…I am." I replied taking a deep breath and twisting the phone cord._

_"Her condition has made her vulnerable to certain attacks…What kind of attack?" I asked while my heart started racing._

_"Three nights ago someone broke into the phyiatric ward and tried killing her….and tonight another attempted was made, the doctors think that spirit was used." Swallowing hard my hand tightened on the phone._

_"And Lissa?" I asked calmly as calm as my nerves would allow. _

_"She's not good…she's in some kind of spirit induced coma, but she suffers as though she is being tortured. You're her bond mate, we need you to return home and start being her guardian again before another attack is made on her life." _

_Looking over at Maria her hand covered her mouth as I nodded trying to reassure her that everything was going to be all right. "I understand your majesty. I will be on the next flight out." I said more quietly. When the line went dead I took a shaky breath and keyed in Abe's number, while Maria walked over and lightly touched my back._

_"Hello." My mom answered after the third or fourth ring._

_"Mom." I replied breathlessly. "Is the old man around? It's an emergency." I asked as my eyes skirted over the pictures that were hanging on the wall. While my hand glided back over the stenciled paper that summoned me back to court. _

_"Rosemarie what's this all about? Ibrahim not in; he ugh…had some business to take care of in Italy, slamming the counter hard my jaws locked even more. "Zmey said he wouldn't take the meeting with the arms dealers unless I was there."_

_"Yes well." She said sounding distant "You know how he is, but I have a feeling that's not why you called, so what do you need?" Mom asked effectively changing the subject._

_"I need a plane and I need it like yesterday." I gruff out feeling my patience wearing thin. "It's Lissa I have been requested back at court…..I'll have Levent meet you at the airport. He will make all the necessary arrangements. Rose your father would be sending him with you. This is a very dangerous time with all the recent Strigoi attack's that have been going on here and in the states. He would not even allow you to go back unless Levent was with you. _

_"Fine whatever; just tell Mr. Perfect that I'm in a hurry and need to leave as in yesterday." I replied hanging up the phone._

_"Let me guess you're not thrilled that Levent's coming with you?" Maria said with a sly grin crossing her face that made my face heat up crimson red. _

_"Remember root canal." I said and using my hand as a drill towards my mouth as I walked into the bedroom. Then pulling out my duffel bag that was shoved into the closet and setting it on the bed, just to walk over towards the dresser pulling out my clothes._

_"Well I got just the right thing that will make getting anywhere near your mouth less painful." She said coyly smirking and walked into her bedroom. When she came back, she held up a powder blue and white lace teddy that made my face burn even more. When she tossed it at me the garter straps hit my wrist, laughing I threw the teddy back at her. _

_"Well I told you to live a little and have some fun." She said smirking the loud knocking on the door churned my stomach when I heard Mirabel voice answering._

_"Good evening Le…vent." She said popping the last part of his name seductively. "Can I get you anything coffee, tea...me." Her husky voice purred out  
><em>

_"Can you inform guardian Hathaway that I am here to escort her to the airport." Levent's voice vibrated in the small-enclosed space_

_"Rose I better go and put a leash on my sister." Maria said rolling her eyes. Zipping up my bag, I nodded my head as she left the room. Grabbing my pictures from the walls and my purse, I stuffed them into the bag as well. Letting out a long drawn out breath, I grabbed my things and looked around the room for what felt like would be the last time and walked out of the room snapping the light off as I left. Standing in the doorway Levent wore his usual boring unphased guardian stoic expression with his sunglasses firmly in place. Shrugging off the indifference I walked over and hugged Maria who smiled softly back at me and tucked the hair behind my ear._

_"Go and take care of your bond mate. Abe will see to it that me and my sisters are fine here." She said encouragingly. Pains of regret hit hard as it felt that I was losing my best friend. _

_"Come, sees me, and don't hesitate in calling." I added when she let go of me, walking briskly over towards Levent I followed him out while Camille closed the door behind me. Standing by the limo, I looked once more towards my charges home seeing her peering out of the window waving when I climb in. _

_Levent slid in next to me when our driver Gabriel pulled away from Maria's._

_"You did well at the last man standing tournament, I'm impressed." He said pulling off his glasses and tucking them into his pocket._

_"Well Styles almost had me by this much." I replied using my thumb and forefinger to show about an inch. "Both him, Debian and Serena was a great challenge….but they had nothing on you Rosemarie. The way you entered the building and continued on during the power outrage. You gave the other guardians, a run for their money you were unstoppable. _

_"So are you going to enter into the tournament next year?" I asked looking over at him skeptically._

_"Well that depends." He said flashing a small row of his pearly whites. "On whether or not you're going to be in it, after all you did beat my record and taking the win with the most kills._

_"Ahhh your manly pride is still sporting a black eye on that one." I whined out earning a full throaty laugh, grabbing me by my upper arms. He pulled me so that I sat properly on his lap. I fidgeted around trying to get off and Levent gave me a bemused look._

_"I just don't like having my record broken, so next time I'm not going easy on you….Huh you called that easy? Taking you, Styles, Camille, Serena, and Debian on like that in the warehouse easy? I won fair and square and you know it._

_His eyes glimmered and darken and his hand reached up behind my neck as he strained forward._

_"Don't." I pleaded looking into his gray piercing eyes, when his lips lightly brushed over mine. Biting down, and tugging on my bottom lip until I opened for him my fingers gripped down hard on his shirt. The pulsating roar thudded hard into my ears as my breathing quicken. That stubborn voice that told me he worked for my father snapped off. Liquid fire shot through me that his touch had so many times had brought. His running fingers of velvet glided over my back abating into my skin as he pulled me closer towards him deepening the kiss. My own hand drifted across his shirt feeling the muscles beneath my hands flex and bounce from my touch as my fingers kneaded the skin hidden below his shirt. God he was so toned and buffed that my nails clinched into his shirt earnestly. _

_ When his tongue invaded in my mouth to wrestle with my own, I whimpered out when I felt his moan vibrate against me. His hands slide up underneath the back of my shirt pawing hard against my skin. Fire course through me as my blood hammered and boiled from the intense connection that I was not supposed to be feeling. Only Dimitri could make me feel this dizzily insane, this hungry with need. Breaking off the kiss and breathing hard his face was soft but still intense at the same time._

_"Neden bu Rosemarie mücadele tutmak?Sizinle bir ilişki istediğini biliyorum?"(_Why_ do you keep fighting this Rosemarie? You know that I want a relationship with you.) He asked huskily out in long drawn out breaths against my neck._

_"Babam için ... ve hiçbir insan bunun için dikkat edilmelidir, çünkü.Yaşlı adam para yerine nasıl bana istediğiniz her bilmek benim için?(_Because_ you work for my father...and no man should be paid for this. How am I to ever know that you want me for me instead of the old man's money?) I asked getting my own breathing back under control._

_"Bu saatten sonra, hala fark bilmiyorum, bana söyleyeceğin demek?( You mean to tell me after all this time, you still don't know the difference?) He asked lifting my face to look at him, shaking my head no in response; he would not let me look away. God we have had this conversation so many times in the past. However, I could not take the chance of being used like that or worse getting my heart broken again._

_Ben ne istiyorum emin değilim._ _Christian bir ilişki istiyorum, ben onu seviyorum ve o benim için iyi ve Adrian böyledir.. (I'm not sure what I want. I might want a relationship with Christian, I like him and he's good for me and so is Adrian..)_

_"You want what's safe." He bit out smoothly, "You're afraid of something real…and safe." Levent bit out with a harsh laugh. "We already both know, that I'm not." _

_"Safe is right…Safe is better than being hurt." I snapped back. "And you're like Dimitri his...his alter ego. You both were my mentors and older than me quite capable of playing any damn head games that you want. And the way you make me feel. I can't lose myself like that again, it hurt too damn much the first time." I said nervously trying to pry myself from his restraining hold._

_When I looked back into Levent eyes they narrowed and harden even the grayness of them seemed to spark in anger. "Don't ever compare me to him, I'm nothing…Guardian Berkant we're at the airport." Gabriel said lightly tapping on the glass not knowing he was interrupting something huge. Taking a deep breath, we both looked out the window seeing Abe's plane waiting for us. Levent opened the door climbing out however the look on his face said eventually we would be hashing this out again. _

_Sliding across the seat and stepping out of the limo, I followed Levent into the small jet watching the docking bay doors close. Taking a seat away from him, I kept my eyes trained on the window as we taxied down the runway. Closing my eyes I tried pushing my way into Lissa head, but the coma that she was in kept me out. _

_**I wish to thank all of my fans and readers for reading my stories, all the newcomers who has been fanning me and everyone else that I am leaving out. Without your support and encouragement, I would have long since quit. So thank you everyone as you are all special and dear me. Thanks for the votes the comments and IM's. I love hearing from you best of wishes from you vamp friend Elfina** _


	19. Head Games

_Closing my eyes, I tried pushing my way into Lissa head, but the coma that she was in kept me out. Despite my calm controlled exterior look, on the inside I was a bucket of nerves. Even though my face did not show, anything my guardian mask was chiseled into granite as any Strigoi or Dimitri. I had learned to perfect it over the years so nothing showed on my face let alone allowed anyone close enough to know what I thought or felt. Self-preservation kept me from being hurt again, which was the real reason for not getting involved. Returning home and seeing Lissa after all these years and having to face Dimitri after what had happened to Viktoria. Yeah I was in for a world of hurt and at present, my life sucked royally. _

_"Lissa she's here." Dimitri called out. He cried out as the Strigoi bit hard down into his shoulder, ripping the muscles and tendons from his shoulder. While blood gushed out in thick rivets spraying everywhere. Spinning a roundhouse kick, and clipping the tiring newly awaken male Strigoi with bleach blond hair, hard into the chest. He flew backwards into the wall of the nightclub, chipping off brick and wood. The other Strigoi advanced onto Lissa, when a wall of fire shot out from Christian's fingertips. Keeping the Strigoi from attacking Lissa, and howling in agony, the Strigoi's body burst into flames, she murderously glared back at both Lissa and Christian. Then screeched out in pain again as the flames surrounded her and started charring her skin. With Lissa's hands clutching the stake nervously, in her clinched hands her fingers were slick with sweat as she anxiously waited for Dimitri to hold the other Strigoi off while she restored Viktoria's soul. In a bold swift move Lissa ran up to the burning ring off fire that lit up the small darken alley of the nightclub. Thrusting her hand that held the stake between the walls of flames, she screamed in agony when the flames licked her skin, burning the material away._

_"Dimka… you…you can't do this. I'm your sister." Viktoria hiss out as though she was part serpent._

_Raking his stake across her male companion friend, Dimitri threw him back against the wall slamming his fist into the Strigoi's face. With all the force that he had, burying the stake into his chest. The Strigoi lurched forward as the stake pierced his heart wailing his echoing screams into the night. Panting with labored breaths Dimitri scanned the whole alleyway making sure that no other Strigoi's were in the area._

_"It's because you are my sister Vic that we are doing this. Unless you want to die, like your friend here." Dimitri cried out as guilt and hopelessness flashed across his face. Lissa with a much force and strength that she had shoved the stake into her ribcage hearing the splintering of bones as she continued to push it forward. _

_"I can't do this." Lissa screamed out panting through the flames. While beads of sweat poured from her face red flustered face, and damping her hair making the ringlets of golden locks stick on her cheeks._

_"You can." Dimitri coached and Christian walked forward _

_"You have to." He screamed out at her. _

_"I can't hold this for much longer." Christian called out weakly as the wall of flames intensified. Tightening her grip around the hilt of the stake Lissa hurled her body threw the flames, shoving all her weight into the stake. Viktoria screamed and wailed in agony and Christian drop the wall just for both Lissa and Viktoria to collapse. The most purest white light glowed from Lissa and the stake upwards blanketing the darken alley into clean blind white light. When Lissa looked over to Dimitri, he came running to their sides along with Christian. The gleaming watery tears stream from Dimitri's face down his cheeks as he witnessed firsthand the miracle as to how he had been saved and rushed to Viktoria's side._

_When Christian reached Lissa she scooted away from him, looking wild and insane as though she didn't know him. "Don't you hear them…there everywhere?" She screamed out suddenly "Shut up..shut up..shut up. There everywhere….. keep them away." Lissa screamed swiping her hand into the air as though she was attacking and going on the defensive with the stake. "Stay away….. stay away." She snarled and hiss out towards Christian._

_Then the dream changed when I was in Lissa head she had been in the bathroom looking at herself hoping to see me._

_"Shove the blade in a little deeper." The voice called out as Lissa starred unseeing into the mirror when the sharp point of the razor caressed her skin. She did not flinch as her skin tore and broke away, blood pooled down her hands slicking her fingers. That is right… again…again…again..again." The evil chants cackled, called looking unsure, and with a broken look of defeated. Lissa raked the blade across her wrists over and over stumbling out into the living room she pulled a picture of us off of the wall and fell into the corner. _

_"Go away." She screamed out earnestly as the figures danced and tormented her with so much blood running from both of her hands she raised her hands to her ears covering them._

_"Liss open the door…open the damn door Liss, before I break it down." Whimpering she rocked her body back and forth against the wall. Suddenly a loud crash of wood splintering and buckling under the weight of Dimitri as he rushed in along with Stan, Alberta, Mikhail, Eddie, and two others who I couldn't make out. Dimitri rushed to her side but Lissa flinched away from him. As much as Lissa tried fighting, Dimitri off she couldn't, with as much blood as she was losing her eyes grew heavy when her eyelids closed. _

_"Rose….Rose, it's time to wake up." The gentle pressure of a warm hand lightly shaking me had me blinking my eyes and looking around seeing Levent's piercing grays eyes looking back at me with concern as I sat up in my seat. His thumb brushed away the fallen tears that fell from my cheeks as I tried moving my face back towards the window of the plane noticing for the first time that we had landed. "You were dreaming about your bond mate again weren't you?" He asked knowingly that I just nodded my head yes. _

_"I should have cured her." I whispered out not daring to look at him. "I shouldn't allow her to leave Turkey until I had. I should…..They hurt you Rose hell at the time you couldn't even think straight much less function. You had your own nervous breakdown. You weren't in any position to take care of anyone much pull the darkness away from Lissa. What those two did to you almost destroyed you." Levent growled out, the look of rage startled me as it shinned so brightly on his face as though it had only had happened yesterday. "What happened to Lissa." He said sitting down beside me and pulling into his arms so that my head rested on his chest warmed me. " Wasn't your fault, and Belikov sure as hell didn't help matters with that stunt he pulled that night. Everything sent you into a tailspin of your own. Everyone thought you were so strong Rose. It took months to repair some of the damage those two did to you."_

_ I should not have allowed you to come back here, queen's orders or not." He said more softly above my head. "Coming back is bringing all this shit up again…..Well hey little Dhampir." Adrian's cheerful voice rung out. Lifting my head from Levent's chest I caught a glimpse of wiry black hair as Adrian's head peaked through the loading bay doors that had been opened. Stepping into the plane Adrian was making steady strides down the narrow aisles. Levent's hands that had been holding onto me fell away to his sides as I jumped up and raced towards Adrian's outstretched arms. _

_"Adrian." I screamed out rather loudly just to see Levent pulling out his sunglasses and place them on. However, I could feel his eyes as though they were burning a hole through me as I ran towards Adrian. _

_"Miss me." He chuckled pulling me close to him and tenderly giving me an affectionate quick kiss on the lips._

_"Always." I said excitedly happy to see him when his thumb stroked my cheek. It was the sound of Levent clearing his throat, as though he was trying to cough that had both Adrian and I turning as he tried to brush past us. "Roses mentor right?" Adrian asked holding out his hand towards him but Levent chose to ignore it. Instead of replying he turned towards me. "I have to call in and speak with your father letting him know that we have landed. Sorry Adrian." Levent added as he brushed past us and disappeared through the docking bay doors. _

_"So where to first? Your mother called ahead to let my aunt know that you had already left, so you do not need to check in with her if you don't want to. Leaning forward and giving a big kiss on his cheek Adrian's grin grew even bigger._

_As much as I want to go out celebrating, I want to see Lissa." I said suddenly sounding seriously "I feel that I need to see her….Then to hospital it is." He said placing his hand on the small of my back then leading me off of the plane. When we stepped out of the loading bay doors sure enough, Levent was on the cell phone speaking rapidly in Turkish no doubt to my father. Brooding when he saw us, he turned his back and for the first time in a long time, and I felt the sting of his rejection as my eyes drifted towards his back._

_When we climb into the car, I slide in beside Levent and Adrian sat across and pulled out a pack of cloves cigarette from his breast pocket of his shirt, then tapping the pack against his hand. Pulling out the long steam of the cigarette and pressing it in between his lips. Adrian lit it up blowing the smoke freely into the air._

_"Little Dhampir you're going to have to brace yourself when you see Lissa. She doesn't look the same as you remember her." Adrian said tapping the glass behind him, signaling to the drive to go ahead and drive off._

_"How bad can it really be? She's locked in a white padded cell in some sort of straight jacket." I grumbled out, Adrian's face paled, and his eyes glazed over with pain._

_"You describe her perfectly before the attack and now." He marked sadly his emeralds losing their luster of the green that usually shined "Well you'll see." He said pointing towards the windows as our car slowed down as we approached the hospital. The dulled Terra Cotta paint was chipping away from the building and metal bars covered the outside windows. Peering up towards the windows occasionally, I could see patients in their hospital gowns with dull sunken faces staring back out, as our car approached through the metal gates. _

_Looking the building over you could see regular maintenance as it appeared to be on going. The outside was almost like a fortress where security was concern. Razor wire rolled and wrapped around the fencing boundaries, camera where at every entrance and trained on the barred windows. If truth were told it, look more like a prison verses a hospital. Sensing my hesitating Levent's large hand covered mine as I struggled to breathe and my eyes darted to his with uncertainty._

_"You don't have to do this if you're not ready." He said softly squeezing my hand and filling me with his strength._

_"There's no rush Rose." Adrian answered and leaned forward patting my knee. "It's not like she's going anywhere, we could always comeback._

_ "I have to do this." I replied nervously and shaking my head no. Gripping Levent hand even harder his gray eyes darkened with understanding when he let mine go. Knowing I would not change my mind, he pulled on the handle and opened the door of the car, allowing me to slide out from the seat. _

_. With my eyes trained on the building. We walked towards the building I could hear Levent and Adrian talking to each other about something. When we entered the hospital, Adrian placed his arm around my shoulders guiding me away from the information counter and away from the front desk clerk. Down the long corridor, the walls were a pasty ashen white. Down another hallway, the walls were painted pink of all colors with white titles and matching curtains. If you were not crazy before coming into a place like this then the different powder blue and pink, walls were sure to make you crazy. The shrilling shrieks and screams made my skin crawl from hearing the tortured agonizing cries from the other patients that we passed. Some looked so out of their minds from the medications that they were on that my heart sunk knowing Lissa had been here for years. The drool and spital hung from their lips and chin as the stared aimlessly into space seeing nothing but their imaginative friends that others could not see. The hollowness of their eyes showed some of these Moroi's to be a shell of a person from what they once were._

_"Lady…lady….you gotta help me….. hey you lady." The young red haired blue eye male Moroi ran by me trying to pull at my sleeve, but Levent grab his hand firmly removing it from my arm._

_"I wasn't going to hurt you none." He smiled toothily back towards Levent._

_"Come along Douglas leaves these nice people alone." The nurse said nodding her head towards us she had seen the commotion from the nurses' station. _

_Stopping in front of the room Adrian held open the door for me to slip past him when my eyes found Lissa. Both of her eyes were closed and her hands had been tied down and restrained to the sides of the bed with thick brownish leather straps. I could already feel my temper boiling at the surface how dare they tie her down in this manner. Locking my jaws and removing the straps, Adrian stopped me._

_"Rose don't… you don't know what she capable of…yeah right." I snorted, "She's a real threat, look at her she's unconscious and more than likely drugged, and she needs to be tied to a bed. Hardly." I snorted back annoyed and went back to removing the straps from Lissa. Firm hands gripped me by my waist picking me up I wanted to scream hell I wanted to fight but wi8th where we were I did not._

_"Levent what the hell are you doing?_

_"Making sure you don't do anything you'll regret." He said forcibly back as he pushed me up against the hospital corridor. His gray eyes darken and look threatening back into mine._

_"Five years of darkness has accumulated into her five years …and you're just going to rush in and heal her aren't you." Levent demanded_

_"I have to Lissa my bond mate. I should have done this a long time ago._

_"Have you thought of the possibility you could go crazy from the effects or that that the spirit madness could kill you?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest blocking me from going back into the room._

_"Lissa is my bond mate…..and you owe her nothing." Levent argued his voice climbing even higher._

_"And that not your choice to make for her." Adrian replied sternly from the doorway. "Their bond, their link, unless you have seen it the way Dimitri and I have…. you could never understand or know just what she feels._

_"You're just saying that because Lissa your cousin and you want Rose to heal her. You don't care about Rose… or the amount of darkness that she will have to draw into herself." Levent said shaking his hand towards me" …..And you only care because her father is paying you to…..…you're nothing more than hired help." Adrian challenged back. Grabbing Adrian by the collar of his jacket Levent slammed him into the wall. Adrian drew back his fist punching Levent hard into the jaw snapping his head back. Starring murderously back at Adrian; Levent own hand curled into a rock hard tight fist and started twitching. With the cold hard glare neither men was willing to back down, it was a matter of time before Adrian pushed Levent too far and he would end up hurt, if I didn't put a stop to this now._

_"Enough….. both of you." I shouted loud enough for the patents and hospital staff to look at me. "I don't need your permission Levent. I am a big girl and I can make my own choices." There was real hurt and fear in Levent eyes as he uncrossed his arms. However nodding his head toward me, he glared at Adrian and stepped back away from me. "You just better able to help her no matter what happens." He barked back at Adrian, before either one of them could go back to pummeling each other. I slipped back into her room and cautiously laid my hand on Lissa head, dropping my barriers one at a time. The sudden jolt of spirit swept through me as images of Dimitri, Viktoria filled my mind when Lissa restored her soul. The molten super-heated warmth cascaded around me as I saw Viktoria's blacken aura burst with a brilliant white light. Her soul passed through me and slammed into her body, the thickness of spirit madness was stronger and fiercer then anything I had ever encountered before. More images flooded my head as I felt and saw Lissa saving Dimitri. His soul was the most beautiful perfect being that Lissa had ever seen and felt before, and the depths of her feelings for him went way beyond reason and logic. As soon as his soul past through her, she was instantly connected to him. A bond of love and spirit fused together, the most intense she had ever felt in her life was deeply forged into her own soul as his soul slammed into his body. The power of spirit had branded them both, with a bond the no other had shared before. This was what Dimitri had been talking about. My brain screamed out as my body tried fighting the toxic emotions that bubbled up at the surface. I wanted to kill her, I wanted her to feel the injustice of the pain she had caused me "Oooh…god…oh god I can't stop it." I choked out as more and more images that were imaginary came forward. "I can't control it."_

_"That's enough Rose back it off, you're taking too much." Adrian's voice roared out in the background that seemed a million miles away from me. Blinking rapidly my mind focused on the different uses of spirit that I was feeling. "Little Dhampir… Little Dhampir….._

_ My own body was being shredded apart when I saw the two of them together in bed and at other important times, feeling what she had felt during those intimate moments with Dimitri. In that moment, I hated Lissa. I hated her with a passion and flare that I had never felt before and wished for her death as I saw the two. Lissa had seen and felt Dimitri soul in a different way, than I had, she had even touched it. The darkness was a thick sludge of toxic poisons that started washing over me, bathing my thoughts, and feelings. With those of agonizing despair, grief, rage, every cursed thought and feeling that Lissa had endured over the last five years. Dropping onto my knees with a strangled cry, Levent looked helpless back at me as my own shrill screams of tortured despair filled the room. The darkness took me under as wave after wave of maddening insanity reached and center into every pore of my being as I pulled the last of the remaining cesspool of deaden bleakness within me. Choking with intensity of it all, the room and everyone around me began spinning faster and faster. The white walls, Lissa lying on the bed, Adrian and Levent's face seemed to hover around me. I tried reaching out to them, when my body began falling and a deafening loud crash sounded in my head. _

__Hey guys just wanted to drop you a quick notes explaining why I have been out of touch. This vamp has flown the coup I have moved from New Mexico and in Arkansas and it is hot man is it hot. I should my phone and internet on the first of Aug. Until then I don't know when I can upload again. Best of wishes and missing you already your vamp friend Elfina


	20. Head Games PT 2

_ A room filled with mirrors and mist swirled around me, somewhere from the distance I could vaguely hear my loved ones calling for me. Images of a woman with brown hazel thick long hair braided down the center of her back appeared in the room of many mirrors. She was dressed in dull red rustic robes with a white blouse and black trousers. She was about my age with a wild half crazed look sparkling in her eyes, she was most defiantly a Dhampir and judging from her long robes she must have been Anna. While a man wearing royal blue robes was also seen in another mirror, his use of spirit was awe inspiring I could only guess that he was St. Vladimir. Now I knew I was crazy either crazy in my head or crazy in Lissa's, I wasn't too sure of but crazy regardless. In one frame I witnessed him bringing back a doe that had been shot by a hunter. Slowly rising to its feet and scampering away in the wooded tree line forest. In another mirror the same man healed sick Dhampir's and Moroi's that were around him. The next mirror that I looked at terrified me the most. Plenty of times when I had slipped into Lissa head I could see the various colored auras from fellow Dhampir's and Moroi's. That's what this mirror looked like as I stood in front of it. Thick black sludge swirled murkily slow with faint traces of blood crimson red veering in oval circular patterns. When I looked back towards the Moroi male in the mirror I couldn't help but notice the more spirit that he used the more darkness filled the mirror. In the other mirror the woman who was fighting and guarding him was swatting and waving off images that weren't there. She was struck with spirit madness, again the more he used the crazier she seemed to be. In the last mirror that was in the room held my reflection. The woman had the striking similarities as me, the harder I looked I could see the hospital room that I had been in with Lissa. She was now awake with Adrian's support she was shaking me as though she was trying to wake me up. Looking harder I shook my head that couldn't be I thought with a bruising sadistic laugh. _

_"Rose…comeback to us ….Adrian said as though my mind was still there. Ha if he only knew I chuckled back from the site, me go back to all of that? Not in this life I shuddered at the thought and Lissa I sneered out. My body and mind must have been on the same wave link as I helpless watched myself lunge for the bitch who had stolen Dimitri from me._

_"Let me go." I snarled out as I felt strong hands trying to wrestle me down towards the ground it was a free for all as my right leg slammed into a hard chest just be block by a sturdy forearm. Using his arm as a pole my hind leg shot out from behind me, just as I had leaned forward the side and heel of my shoes whacked him hard in the face knocking Levent several feet back. However the short victory was just that short, because he snapped back towards his feet before I could get close enough to Lissa he charged at me with full speed, like a Brahma bull from a rodeo._

_"Rose this isn't you Levent voice echoed off somewhere off inside my head as my elbow connected. "It is me it's always been me and this ungrateful bitch is about to find that out." I hurdled out to everyone in the room. Somewhere in the far corners of Lissa mind when I had been connected with her I saw both Lissa and Dimitri striking a deal, plotting for my return. They had planned all of this when they had been in Turkey when they were supposedly there for the meeting with the twelve royal families. Just as my mind drifted into the memory or hallucinations. Levent hands gripped both of my wrists as his foot kicked my feet out from under me sprawling us both to the ground. My mind was so out of focus that I couldn't feel the impact of the fall much lees his body weight. They had secretly met with Dimitri's family. Spirit had been used by someone I had met in Russia and grew to be quit fond of, more importantly I had respected her and her bond mate. Lissa had been exposed to a massive spirit over dose when she had succumbed to the effects of spirit madness, because I hadn't been there to pull the darkness from her. The charms that had been fused along with an actual touch a push more powerful then when Lissa had used to restore Dimitri's soul soared into her body. Her eyes glowed molten gold and brighter than the sun as spirit had touched every part of her. "Oksana you're sure this won't harm the princess?" Dimitri voice called out in the smothering blackness of her mind._

_"As long as her bond mate returns to release her from this maddening state then no." Oksana replied back._

_"Grandmother said that Rose would come." Dimitri said reassuringly to her while Oksana cared for Lissa. _

_"Until she does Lissa will remain in this spirit coma state._

_ The spirit induce madness that was claiming me now had been intentional all for me to return back to court. They both had known this would happen to me, they had even planned for it. Ooh god I was trapped in this limbo and now I wasn't sure of what to hang onto. Ohh god…ooh god they had set me up." I screamed into the one way mirror._

_"Rose." I heard Adrian voice out to me from where I watched. "You have to comeback." He said leaning over me. Levent had my body pinned to the ground his face was busted and bruised from our fight it had been him who had taken the brunt of my madness from when I had flipped, and had gone after Lissa. Even now my rage boiled and bubbled to the surface I wanted her death she had to be made to pay for what she had done to me. My body had a mind of its own, as it twitched and strained under Levent's restraining hold._

_"Heal her again." I heard Levent instruct Adrian whose deep shaded emeralds flashed back with guilt._

_"I…..I can't." Adrian stammered. "I hit her with everything that I had! It should have been enough…but clearly it wasn't." Levent barked out _

_"Our little Dhampir is locked in there between spirit madness and the darkness that was created from it. She's in hell…..I….I can't heal her from that…._

_Blinking rapidly and feeling confused and disoriented I had to get a grip and pull myself together and remove myself from the room of mirrors. Inside of Lissa's slash my head at this point I didn't know which room I was in, regardless of the madness and darkness that coiled around me. Hell even with all the images that I saw, I couldn't be sure if what I saw with Dimitri and Lissa was real. One thing was for sure I couldn't trust it because the rational side of me was lost to the madness, that much I was certain of. _

_"I'm fine …..I'm fine." I choked out feeling light head and unsteady with even more darkness being drawn in on me._

_"Rosemarie?" Levent asked uncertain his hold on me increasing even more._

_I'm fine…I'm fine." I felt myself mouthing the words." Just get me out of here… before…before….I end up doing something that I will end up regretting." I remarked bitterly watching Lissa as she struggled to sit up on the bed._

_"Ugh god is Rose is that you?" She asked when her eyes fixed on mine, Standing up abrasively Levent pulled me sharply towards his side not trusting me enough to let me go._

_"It is you." Lissa said hoarsely as she watched me being led out of the room._

_"I'll be right back. I need to make sure that Rose is going to be alright." Adrian mumbled and slipped out of the doorway just to spot Levent and I in the hallway where he had my back firmly pressed against the wall as though he was checking me himself, like he was some kind of doctor._

_"I'm fine." I nearly shouted chastising him for his concern….When Spirit becomes too much for Adrian he drinks maybe it will help." I remarked unsure if it would or not. "The very least I deserve to go out and have a good time._

_"Is that true." Levent asked Adrian whom he heard coming down the hallway. _

_"I have my many vices alcohol just happens to be one of them. However I want to point out just because it works for me doesn't necessarily mean that it will work for Rose. Besides she's a guardian and aren't guardians supposed to be on duty all the time for their charges?_

_"That bitch in there is not my charge." I growled out feeling myself shake and tremble from the build of rage and fury._

_Well my aunt may beg to differ with you on that note." Adrian replied drily._

_"What the hell was I thinking? I should have known that I couldn't come back here and like a fool I came anyways. I should have never left Turkey….You came to heal Lissa and to full fill your promise to the queen." Levent said stopping my incisive chanting._

_Levent can I speak to you privately?" Adrian asked letting me go Levent started following Adrian into another room. Seeing my chances I smiled kill Lissa or not kill her my mind wandered with an amusing grin. Kill Lissa… don't kill Lissa, with only one choice becoming crystal clear I sprinted towards the front doors of the hospital and out of the building running straight towards the car. Climbing in I glared at the drive. "Do you know who I am?" I asked sinisterly nodding his head he started the car and drove away from the hospital. Looking out the window, both Adrian and Levent were chasing the car. _

_"Stop for either one of them and you'll pay dearly for that mistake. Do I make myself clear?" I asked sitting back in the seat._

_"Ugh yes… Miss. Hathaway the driver acknowledged. "Where um shall I take you?" He asked shifting in his seat uncomfortably. _

_"Where a girl can have some fun. I said smirking, I was through doing the right thing. Every time I had tried to be responsible and make the right choices they always backfired and blew up in my face and for now I just wanted to escape… I needed to escape. Damn the queen, Lissa, Dimitri and everyone else. I was sick and tired of being noble. For once in my life I wanted to put myself first instead of everyone else and if that made me wild and reckless then who gave a shit. I was going to live for myself for a change. Unexpectedly the driver took me to the same nightclub that Adrian had brought me to several years back. The place was thumping and bumping as the loud music could be heard blaring from the parking lot. Climbing out of the car before I had a chance to shut the door the driver hit the gas pedal speeding away from the curb no doubt to double back to pick up Levent and Adrian and to snitch on me as well. I thought with an airily sigh as I walked into the club. The strobe lights were flickering with brilliance of reds, blues, yellows and oranges on the wall. The place wasn't nearly as packed as it had been the first time as I shouldered my way in. Walking up towards the bar the bartender smiled flattering at me as I perched myself on the bar-stool._

_"What will it be?" He replied gingerly as I shook my head. "Surprise me." I said sending him my best man-eater smile. The next song that came blaring over the loud speaker made me smile as it fit my situation perfectly. That I could help be sing along with it. What you see is not what you get… with you there's just no measurement, no way to tell what real from what isn't… there. Your eyes they sparkle that all changed it's the lies that drops like acid rain, you washed away the best of me. You don't care you know you did it…. I'm gone to find someone to live for in this world._

_"Miss try this." The bartender said holding out a glass filled with strong smelling brown liquid "What this?" I asked sniffing the glass. The smell was so strong I wonder how anyone could even touch the stuff and he laughed. Counting to three I raised the glass to my lips slamming the stuff, it burned like molten fire down my throat and instantly warming my inside as it race down my stomach. "Another?" He asked laughing as I choked on the stuff with a loud gasping cough. Nodding my head he took the glass and poured more of the dark fluid into the glass and handed it to me, only this time he left the bottle beside my glass and went and tended to his other customers that had gathered around the counter. Looking at the bottle and the small glass I pushed the glass to the side and began drinking from the bottle another song came on that I knew throwing my money on the counter and totting my half-filled bottle I stumbled onto the dance floor. Swaying rhythmically to the music; I'm going nowhere, I've gotta break through, I'm going nowhere….luring and stirring the truth and the lies. Always confusing thoughts in my head so I can't trust myself anymore. I….die ….again. I'm going nowhere… trusting you I'm falling forever…. I've gotta break through. _

_Dance with me?" Turning around Levent's was standing there with a brood smile plastered on his face showing a full row of pearly whites. Tipping the bottle back and downing the last of the atrocious fowl substance. I smiled just as widely back at him._

_"How ja find me?" I slurred back, stumbling into him which thankful Levent arms encircled me to keep me from falling over._

_"The driver said that you seemed very off and that you had threatened him and he had no choice in dropping you off here. While his one hand supported my waist the other gingerly touched my hair curling his fingers around the tips._

_"Levent." I said inching myself closer towards him as though music seemed to be in the background. Kiss me." I asked reaching up on my tip toes to press my lips against his_

_"But you said…..I von't… care... kiss me." I struggle out as my head swam from the effects from the alcohol. Taking the empty bottle from my hand and keeping a protective hand around my waist and leading me back to towards the bar. he place the empty bottle getting congratulatory looks from the other guys who were close by. As he lead me out his car was parked across the street and he helped me into the white Buick. The drive to court was short however I was having a hard time in keeping my eyes open. When Levent climbed out of the car he came over to my side seeing that I wasn't in any shape to walk he picked me up, resting my head on his chest. My eyes drifted as I snuggled up even closer towards him. The soft sounding of a door closing and being placed on the bed had me opening my eyes up again, just as his dark piercing gray eyes looking warmly back into mine. The feel of his lips gliding across from mine was static electricity. Everything around us heated up as his breath fanned out around me. Fueled with need my arms tightened even more around his neck and I couldn't stop the soft whimpers that poured out from me. I wanted this…I needed him. What was slow languid and sweet swept through me like a fierce hurricane, becoming searching lustful and eager. Levent's hands swept up under my shirt grabbing the hem and raising my shirt over my head, stopping long enough to place hot open mouth kisses from my neck and biting tenderly into my shoulder, then pulling my shirt off the rest of the way off. My own hungry fingers tugged and pulled at his shirt feeling the lean and taught muscles of his abs, chest flex from my fingertips pressing in on them. My hands fumbled clumsy around the buckle of his belt as I struggled to free him of his jeans. Levent on the other hand had no trouble with removing me from my own black slacks._

_"Rose are you sure this is what you want?" He asked as he laid me back on the bed following me down. In a million years that was one question I just didn't expect to hear come from him, he always seemed so sure in everything that he did. Starring at his toned skin in my eyes Levent was beautiful with his own brand of perfection I couldn't take my eyes off of him. _

_"I'm sure." Rising up laying my lips on his, my fingers comb through his hair while my other hand enjoyed the texture of his skin.. His hands were everywhere and the fuel heated need of him grew, his fingertips traced the invisible line back and forth over my spine as his mouth took mine wildly building the need, enraging the full blown hunger. God it had been too long, way too long and there was no turning back screaming his name out when he brought our bodies together he let out a tense growl that vibrated off of his chest. He was skilled as our bodies moved in harmony, skin upon skin, flesh against flesh. It was so easy following his lead and it seemed so natural on every level. With patients he gave control over to me letting me explore and satisfy own curiosity and hunger. While at the same time letting me feel as his equal in every respect. In that moment I knew that I loved him and had for a long time, this was just the catalyst that I had needed to lower my guard and let him in. Every touch every caress was a silent message just voice what hadn't been said between us. While Levent said my name and pressed more and more fevering open mouth kisses against my skin. When it was over he pulled my tightly alongside of him so that my head rested against his chest._

_"I love you Levent." I said groggily, my body felt wonderfully sore and yet blissful at the same time. It was right waiting for my second time to be with someone that I loved otherwise it would have been meaningless. Stretching and yawing sleep claim me and pulled me into the darken void where I could still see the imaginary room of mirrored memories as my mind tried to process the events of the day. I slightly stirred from hearing Levent answering the door wondering who could be here._

_"Is Rose here?" Levent voice rang out blinking my eyes open that question brought me fully awake as I sat up in bed looking at Levent who was fully dressed. Walking into the room with Dimitri who had covered himself with a sheet. Looking at both men my eyes wondered from Levent's face to Dimitri's then flickering back and forth. Dimitri had a small wolfish smile growing on his face as my insides went numbly cold and started shaking. On the bed stand sat a silver ring that I had missed last night during the club and here in what I assumed was Dimitri's bedroom. Feeling as though I was going to be sick I gulped hard, trying to figure out just what the hell to do next. "Breath." That imaginary voice snickered out, just breath… he played you again Rose, just breath…._

_"It's not what you think." I whispered pulling myself out of bed wrapping the sheet around me. "I thought…I thought." I stammered badly feeling the room closing in on me._

_"You sure as hell could have fooled me." Levent said icily then stalking out of the room slamming the door behind him._

_"Levent wait…please…please wait." I screamed after him but it was too late he was already gone in more ways than one taking a piece of my heart with him._

_ Grabbing my clothes with the sheet wrapped around me Dimitri started approaching my side dropping everything that was in my hands, my hand curled into a tight fist as it slammed hard into his jaw knocking him a few feet away from me._

_Compulsion like the lust charm?" I hurdled with an accusation lingering in my voice, knowing now the vision that I had about Lissa and Dimitri's deal was very much real and true…you planned all of this didn't you?" Coming towards me again guilt flashed in his eyes. _

_"Roza… I was desperate to have you come home, Lissa and I both were your place is here; your duty is to her not to the Conta's." Slamming my left hand out to punch the smug look off of his face Dimitri caught it like I had hoped he would and I spun away nailing him in the side of the head with my elbow. Before he could react my right knee came up sharply not once but in secession four times catching him in his manly assets dropping him like squashed bug._

_"You…you used spirit against me." I screamed just like Victor did." Throwing open the door and racing through court with my clothes in hand. I blinked back trying to stop the tears that were falling as I raced out of court needing to get away. I don't know how long I ran for, it had all been a setup to get me to heal Lissa and for Dimitri to claim me again. I was used… and now felt dirty, god it was such a mess and if I hadn't been drinking last night, maybe just maybe okay who the hell was I fooling." The voice within me chuckled out. I had been so stupid that I had allowed myself to be played. Why hadn't I listened to Levent my heart screamed again. Stopping along the dirt road several miles away from court and dropping the sheet I quickly dressed with tears streaming down my face. _

_ "They had inadvertently used my guilt…my guilt." My brain chuckled again. "Against me. _

_"If it's not dear sweet Rose Hathaway." Robert voice said from behind me as I slipped my right leg into my pants. Stiffening and realizing that I was unarmed my brain screamed screwed many…many times over and over. "You're a little far from home don't you think past the safety of the wards."_

_ All the rage and darkness collided within me as reality slipped even further from my already shot mind. I wasn't in any position to really fight him focusing on one task at a time and finished dressing I launched myself towards Robert putting together the years and years of training with both Levent and Dimitri into good use. However Robert also had grown as a Strigoi as his ruby red eyes glared back sharply into mine. _

_Be still." He said grimly with a cackle lighting his twisted face more powerful than any compulsion that I had ever felt before. I was frozen in place as though my feet had been rooted in the ground and my legs feeling heavier then cement._

_"In time Hathaway you will be able to use your shadow kissed talents the way I have." Robert said in a cold promising voice. Jerking my head to the side his fangs bit sharply down into my skin as I heard him making sickening lapping sounds while he feed from me._

_" Cheater." I hissed out as black shadowy dots burst in front of my eyes and felt the ground fallout from under me._

_Sorry everyone I hadn't realized that I had made so many mistakes however all is corrected now. Thanks so much for the comments. Best of wishes from your vamp friend Elfina_


	21. Escape

_Vague memories of seeing Robert biting down on his wrist sickened me as I struggled to turn my head away from him refusing the only life sustaining source available. Even now I could feel my heart slowing to a level that was hard to sustain life, soon I would be dead. So much in me screamed for death and inner peace, one that brought release from the mental anguish and heartbreak that Lissa and Dimitri had caused. You would think at this second that I would crave vengeance, ahh hell part of me did, just not this way. I would much rather still be Dhampir and claim my own revenge. Instead of being a blood thirsty monster, taking innocent lives._

_"Drink Rose." Robert demanded with his wrist forcefully pressed at my lips, closing my eyes and gritting my teeth I was trying in a last ditch effort to resist his compulsion. It seemed that everyone was using spirit a little too freely these days._

_"I would rather die first." I whispered weakly refusing to let him know just how beaten I was, even though it was obvious._

_"How do you expect for your friends like Lissa to try and save you if you suddenly die? Do you really think the spirit world would give you up so easily a second time? You're so far from home do you think another spirit user could even reach you in time? Hmmm…., somehow I doubt it?" He asked coldly, not waiting for a response he gripped my chin forcing my mouth open for his wrist. The last fading beats of my heart started fading from my ears, death was coming for me. A siren sounded blaring loudly in the distance filling the whole courtyard. Robert had been spotted, spot lights from the guardian's tower shinned brightly on him and myself as his blood raced towards the back of my throat. Along with spotting the broken wards, guardians started running out of the gates towards us. It was then that I __realized that he hadn't come alone. To the right of me I saw Alberta fighting off Sonya, a few yards away Eddie was fighting Elena who was once a former guardian. Another person I was shocked to see was guardian Grant. I had thought he had died in the first wave from when Dimitri had been Strigoi, apparently someone had awakened him before that had happened and now they were after me. Someone had systematically started wiping out the Dhampir guardians, it appeared that Robert was from what I could tell was behind it all. Choking and gagging on the blood several mouthfuls had been swallowed while most of it sprayed out in the air from being choked on. Already I could feel myself changing as his blood slid down my throat creating a hunger that hadn't been there before. In my mouth a craving had started, a watering thirst had begun. I couldn't help myself as my mouth had grown a mind of its own and latched onto his wrist and started feeding from him. Seeing my defeat Robert belted out a humorless cruel laugh._

_"We got what we came for." He yelled over to Sonya. "Announce the retreat." Leaning over as though I was nothing more than a sack of potatoes, Robert lifted me up and threw me over his shoulders._

_"They got Hathaway." Alberta screamed out stricken with sympathy knowing that she couldn't save me._

_"Rose…Rose….dammit" Eddie shouted and continued to fight off Grant and Elena. Lifting my weak hand towards him it dropped like a ton of bricks against Robert back. While he took off with Strigoi speed running up in to the tree line of the courts forest. So this was the end, this was my down fall turned because I had been stupid and unable to control my thoughts and feelings from being setup. All the spirit madness that was still within me coiled, but didn't spring into action as my heart stopped beating for the last time. My eyes stared unseeingly at the forest floors; I felt my spirit, my soul being ripped from my body as an evil presence loomed not too far away from me. A soul is more precious than anything in life could ever be, filled with the purest of lights and various colors however mine was one of white. Everywhere that I looked I could see other illuminated souls floating and hovering around __me as mine was finally torn and separated from my body." Great." My mind thought senselessly. "I'm a freaking ghost, the disembody being that use to haunt me so much in the past, and now I was one of them. The irony of life's cruelest jokes." I screamed out loudly towards the other wandering spirits. The same thing that had happened to Viktoria had happened to me and because of Dimitri. The room of mirrors where I had been trapped just a few hours before, the limboish prison slowly began to fade. My soul hovered above my body just to be replaced with a being that was starker than any night that I had ever seen before. This being was filled with rage and evilness, this being without form was blacker than space, blacker and darker than any nightmare. As the evil presence filled my soul's place, sadly I acknowledged that a monster had been born, a blood thirsty Strigoi. It had a false sense of life, a heartbeat that didn't belong to the beast that dwelled in the shell of my body. Already the twisted evil gears of its mind began turning and helplessly all I could do was watch, just to see the reign of terror that it would soon unleash into our world… my world._

_"I think our newest member is waking up." Grant chuckled out in an evilly cold manner. The tsk, tsk scraping along the floor sent a shiver down my spine as everything came into focus. Everything was louder, deafening loud to where I had just wanted the silence. Squeezing my eyes tightly shut and trying to block the sound out, laughter filled the room and it only made me flinch from the harshness of the cold unfeeling sound. The sounds alone seemed to vibrate within my pores. I became aware of another Strigoi sense; the back of my throat blazed, and scorched as though it was on fire. Unable to stand it my eyes slowly opened taking in my surroundings, my vision had changed dramatically. Everything within the large size family room was clearer sharper than regular Dhampir eye sight allowed. I could see every crack and crevice in the walls. Even the tiniest of details the small pitter pattering heartbeats that rested within the wall as well as smell the warm blood within them. Every single granule of dirt and molecules, from spores to microscopic mold was visible, clear to me as my own hand._

_"I better go and get Robert and Serena. They will be pleased that Hathaway is awake." Elena __remarked icily; sitting up on the couch I looked around the room noticing ever décor and details of the room. From the lavish family pictures that hung on the wall to the rich velvety sapphire blue curtains that covered the windows. Every little knick knack of dolphins and sharks that rested on the shelves along with the other various sea creatures, that also graced the mantel above the fireplace. Strigoi's taste didn't seem to change much from when Dimitri had been a Strigoi. In fact their taste was still expensive and was more then what I had made on my guardians salary in a year. Looking down at my hands they were pasty white as I studied the small flawless missing lines around my skin, flawless was what had come to mind. The bronzed tan of my skin was pasty white and if I was still alive I was sure this body that I harbored in would be ice cold to the touch. Licking my lips thirstily I felt the pin pricks of the sharp fang tips in my mouth. Again the back of my throat blazed with fury as I blinked looking at the other faces in the room. Unsure of my reaction Grant who always back down while we had been sparring in the gym or even in a real hand to hand combat fist fighting sat not too far from me. Sonya watched Grant who was keeping a close eye on me twitched when I suddenly moved, that I wanted to laugh out loud but remained silent. Several others that I hadn't seen before also watched me tenitively, weary of every move that I made. Just as much as they were studding me I was studding them. One thing was for certain, almost all of them were Dhampir's. The second thing we all had in common with each other, most of us had been to court or attended the school at St. Vladimir's and lastly almost everyone in the room at one stage or another in our lifetime had been guardians. When Robert walked into the room my nostrils flared as a low growl emitted from me. This sick bastard had done this to me; I hated him for turning me against my will, more importantly I just hated him. I was ready to challenge him on the spot; he didn't deserve to be in command much less think he could order me around. On top of my already foul mood I was starving, famish and I bet the little prick hadn't saved me anything to eat, which was why I snarled even louder, causing the other Strigoi's to back up._

_"She is a delight." Serena replied stilly, looking me over as though I was her newest prize or trophy __which one I wasn't sure of just yet. "But something tells me you're going to have trouble with this one." She added with a cold smirking gesture of her hand. _

_"The only trouble anyone will have with me is if…they piss me off." I replied tartly back. "I'm starving." I said with an omissible, demanding tone. Cocking my head and glaring harshly back into his eyes he scowled back from the unspoken threat. "And I expect to be fed now." I replied snapping my fingers at him as though he was my dog._

_Bring our little house guest." Serena stoked out in a commanding voice to Robert who nodded his head, disappearing._

_"I like you." She said smiling sweetly. "But don't get any more of a bigger ego then what you already have… it would be a pity to have to end you so soon. I have plans for you my shadow kissed friend. After all you are the only one who can keep tabs on the last remaining Dragomir._

_ What do you want with her?" I asked feeling my blood boil over nobody was going to touch that bitch but me and I was going to making sure she suffered. Draining Lissa of every bit of her precious blood, out of her soon to be dead carcass's body was a treat that I was looking forward to. Nobody and I mean nobody was going to cheat me out of it._

_"Revenge of course and since I can't get it from Eric Dragomir then I will just have to collect it from his only surviving daughter." When Robert came into the room he was carrying a young girl of about seventeen or maybe eighteen by the scruff of her collared shirt towards me. I recognized her immediately, she had shoulder length chestnut brown hair but it was her eyes; those emerald piercing jade green eyes that I had met back at school almost seven or eight years ago. Before Dimitri had been changed into a Strigoi, before the attacks at St. Vladimir's, before he had ever really admitted his feelings for me. She had to be in her senior year now or pretty damn close to it and on the verge of graduating and she had grown into a lovely young woman herself. However there was still a certain amount of trusting innocence about her that captivated me. She was exactly how I was several years __back. _

_"Ro…se." She spoke up as Robert brought her closer and closer towards me. "I..I know you…your Rose Hathaway." Jill scrambled out in a rush, as terror filled her face as she tried backing up. Jill know doubt noticed the glittering eyes which was making her deathly pale now. Or seeing my fangs which I smiled knowingly giving her a better look or the dead giveaway, my pasty white pale skin of death. The only thing lacking in her observation of me was how my skin felt to the touch. Standing up from the couch and ramping up my walking as though I was playing a cat and mouse game with the girl. Jill looked around trying to find any means of escape while the whole time the back of my throat was burning, begging to be fed._

_"I know you too." I replied back poking her school uniform shirt lightly. "You're Jill also known as Jail….ba…it Taylor." I said smugly annunciating her old nickname slowly. "I would love to sit around and chat with you about old times, but I'm not one to play around with my food when I'm hungry." I replied icily and grabbed a hold of her shirt while the other Strigoi's laughed amusingly with my hunger. Swinging both of her fists at me she tried punching me hard in the face with her fist. But the punches hardly compared to a flea bite. Just as I was about to snap her neck to the side to feed, she conjured water out of thin air. And we both sprawled over the floor as she tried creating a wall from the watery mass. Grabbing her footed shoe and jerking her leg towards me we both rolled on top of the sheet of water that she was trying to build up again._

_I'm not afraid of water little girl and I'm certainly not afraid of drowning…in case you didn't get the memo I'm undead." I replied icily back while the others in the room snickered at her and her only means of defense. I jerked her back sinking my fangs into her skin, Jill screamed while she still tried to fight me off._

_"I'm sorry Hathaway next time." Serena said lightly while I was enjoying my meal. "I'll see to it that we get you something more challenging." She remarked coldly then leaving the room. Her blood was __sweeter than anything I had ever tasted before. Yet it was so damn familiar that it was unnerving at the same time that I slowed my feeding, not wanting to be so quick to take her life just yet. That I hesitantly looked back into her jaded eyes trying to sort it all out. At the same time the blood that was running down my lips and dribbling down my chin I wiped away with the back of my hand. Then longingly licking the remaining blood off of my hand in slow lazily strokes. My hunger wasn't even quenched let alone satisfied and I wanted the little brat to know it._

_"Lose your appetite?" Robert asked when he passed by looking as though he was enchanted with the girl himself. Sick old buzzard my mind snapped out harshly as I glared back at him. Supporting Jill's weight from the influence of the endorphins I wasn't ready to tell everyone that I felt that this girl was somehow important to all of us. Instead I felt a need to protect her, which was really strange because Strigoi's very seldom if ever protected anyone and here I was temporarily shielding her from myself and the others._

_"Something like that." I mummer looking at her with fascination, even with her jaded eyes glazed over there was something familiar about her. "My room." I asked wanting to get her away from the others and at the moment I wasn't too sure how I could pull that off. _

_"Come with me and bring your little snack before the rest of us gets any idea's. Serena doesn't like keeping house guest like her lying around it causes too many problems." Robert replied. Looking at him he was nothing more than her first or maybe second in command a position I could take easily away from him. If I was interested in taking orders, which I wasn't, suddenly I was free. Free of court, free of Lissa, free of Dimitri, free of the queen bitch herself and most of all free of the guardian's way of life and there stupid mantra that I had nearly died so many times for. I was free._

_Outside several house over Robert looked back at me. "This is your house Rose, you get special favors because of your shadow kiss talents, and the fact that Serena believes you would end up killing her new recruits._

_"Wow famous already and I didn't have to break a nail or kill anyone. Aren't I special?" I sneered out then opening the door and pulling Jill in behind me. Enjoy your ugh…snack." Robert hissed out glaring at Jill I flung her over towards the bed slamming the door shut behind me. _

_"How in the hell did you get yourself into this mess?" I yelled glowering at her and she shrank back in fear unsure of what I would do next, which was one hell of a question." What to do… what to do." I asked tapping my finger on my chin hopping for a damn answer to fix the mess that she was in. Looking wearily towards her, I couldn't stop my pacing. "Well." I asked letting her know that I wasn't the patient type._

_"I…I was taken from school campus they were there getting Princess Dragomir's records and…and.. they saw me rushing to my class." Jill said with glittering tears sparking in her eyes. "Well get on with it." She yelled back at me with huge eyes. _

_"That eager to die young one or is it the thought of me turning that getting you all excited?" I asked softly making her swallow hard even more _

_"Do they watch all the time?" I asked looking out the window knowing they were probably watching us now._

_"Just newbies like yourself….they think just a tiny spark of humanity lingers within the first twenty four hours, after that well they believe you're as much as a killer as they are._

_"Trust me there no humanity left in me, I saw that soul leave this body….damage goods you could say." I replied sharply. " But for some reason I don't want to kill you either….you seem important somehow…I just can't quit put my finger on it._

_"Is that why I'm still alive…..It's the only reason, otherwise as hungry as I am, you would have died where you stood." I snapped cutting her off. _

_Jill looked at me cautiously backing away as though I was going to pounce on her any second. Biting __down on my cheek until blood filled in my mouth as the idea became more and more appealing I couldn't help but too growled out my frustration. _

_"Make yourself useful and see if there is any food for you to eat." I remarked bitterly. Jill would need all of her strength if I was going to try and attempt to get her out of here alive._

_"I won't let you use me as a blood whore." She belted out stubbornly snatching the kitchen chair that was pushed under the table and hurdling it hard into the wall as my temper exploded she was begging almost daring to end her life as she defied me.__ "I….I …would prefer you killed me first". Lunging for Jill and shoving her into the wall she trembled beneath me, as I bared my fangs inches from her face ready to rip her into pieces._

_"If that's what I wanted to do then you wouldn't stand a chance against me." I hissed out spraying my saliva all over her face as my rage grew." Instead I'm trying to figure out how in the hell I'm going to get you out of here so don't push me." I glared daringly back at her._

_You're a Strigoi." She whimpered looking as though I was holding out a treat of freedom out to her just to take it away. " Strigoi's don't protect much less free their prisoners."_

_"Well I don't always follow the rules." I grumbled out letting go of Jill, just too go into one of the bedrooms. __"Now find some food you'll need to keep your strength up if you're going to get out of here." The finality in my voice left no room for arguing as I left her shocked and bewildered. _

_Looking out at the window daylight was approaching I couldn't smuggle the little brat out while the sun was up otherwise I would fry right in it then what use would I be to her. Closing my eyes while I waited for an idea to pop into my head. I slipped into Lissa head feeling her spirit as it coursed through her body._

_"I swear I saw it with my own eyes they took her." Eddie rushed out. Tension and fear flood Lissa as the understanding of his words sunk in._

_"Why was Rose outside past the gates?" Lissa demanded._

_"Who know maybe her Strigoi detector was going off and she was fighting them off." Alberta explained._

_"Unarmed." Eddie said dismissively._

_"I bet it had something to do with you and Dimitri." Christian volunteered. "Both of you are hell bent in destroying her…even when Rose becomes happy again you two go out of your way to hurt her all over again._

_"That's not true." Lissa snapped her eyes flashing angrily back at Christian. "You have no idea how hard Dimitri and worked just to bring her back._

_"See that's what I'm talking about Rose was happy in Turkey and quite possibly falling for me or Levent and you two." He said shaking his finger in her direction his pale icy blue eyes narrowing into her emeralds. "Couldn't stand the idea that she had finally managed to move on without you."_

_"Only because we love her so much we just wanted things to be like they used to be." Lissa said hanging her head down sobbing softly. Dimitri and I hate the fact that we hurt you and Rose, I still love you and I want you back more than anything." She whispered. "The very fact that you didn't leave court, I was satisfied at least you were close and I could see you every day even if it was from a distance, But Rose my god Christian; Dimitri loves her so much he would have done anything to bring her back home and he even tried on more than one occasion._

_"What." Levent asked over hearing some of the conversation as he entered into the commons room._

_Rose has been taken." Eddie announced. "By Robert…and she wasn't fighting back." Levent's head snapped up as he looked puzzling back at Eddie. "What do you mean she wasn't fighting back…Rose is the best in her field where renaissance mission are concerned, she always fights back?" He replied matter of factly, his voice sounding hoarse. Eddie explained in detail along with Alberta as to what they saw when they had spotted me outside the safety walls of court and past the wards__._

_"She's been awakened." Dimitri replied sternly. "That's why she wasn't fighting back; her body was dying when you found her." Levent reacted and grabbed Dimitri by the collar of his shirt slamming him into the wall. Dimitri maneuvered both of his forearms and hands in between Levent's flinging his hands off of him. Levent drew back punching him dead center in the mouth sending Dimitri blood flying into the air from the split lip he had gotten,__ when Levent drew back again. Eddie grabbing ahold of his fist and Albert gripped Levent's other arm as well restraining him back._

_"You son of a bitch what did you do…what did you do?" Levent snarled glaring death a thousand folds back to Dimitri. He looked like he was going to tear him from limb from limb as he fought against Eddie's and Alberta's hold._

_"Compulsion, Rose was compelled into thinking I was you…..what?" Lissa shouted angrily that Dimitri looked at her remorsefully. Dimitri….how …why?" She asked rubbing her temples. Through the bond I could feel her own rage boiling over to the surface as she took several breaths to compose herself._

_"I want Roza back…my Roza, not his." Pointing his finger towards Levent whose fists were still clinched up tightly as though he was going to punch Dimitri again" Dimitri stated flatly looking ashamed back at her, knowing that Lissa was thinking less and less of him by the minute. "If Dimitri only knew how she really felt." I chuckled out feeling her love for Christian stronger than ever. "Liss I made no efforts in hiding that, remember Oksana from Russia? When Lissa nodded her head Dimitri took a deep breath before continuing. Remember when she and Mark flew down from Turkey and you met my family.__ I had her fuse this ring with spirit." Dimitri said pulling out the silver ring from his pocket and handing it to her. _

_And you used it on Rose." Lissa added not needing to hear anymore to know what had happened next. "And…and ..you slept with her._

_"Spirit… compulsion." Levent exclaimed growing increasingly wilder. "Who the hell are you people? He demanded looking horrified. "Is everyone in this room guilty of setting her __up?"_

_"I'm not Albert replied letting Levent go…but I can't tell you this much it's illegal to use offensive magic on somebody she snarked out. _

_Neither am I." Eddie replied also letting go of his arm__._

_Feeling the gentle tugging and pulling on my arm I blinked my eyes rapidly pulling out of Lissa head to see a mystified Jill crouched down over me. The red glow beneath her skin was tantalizing as I watched it beat rhythmically under her skin, hearing her blood slosh in and out of the vein.__ I was so hungry and my mouth watered at the site as I turned my head away in annoyance._

_"What?" I growled out at her making her jump about a foot in the air as I looked deadly back at her._

_"There's enough shade outside to the manhole if you're serious about trying to get out" Jill said in a small voice pointing towards the window. Following the direction of her hand I pushed myself off of the bed going towards the window and seeing the man hole in the street. It was still day time but the shade from the trees would make __excellent cover in reaching it._

_"Did you eat?" I asked not turning around to look at her. "And don't bother trying to lie to me because I will know._

_Instead of replying Jill walked back in the kitchen and came back carrying a dirty plate, her hands were shaking as she showed it to me. Taking the plate from her and laying it on the stand my hand roughly grabbed her shoulder. "Let's go the others won't be happy when they figured out that we have escaped." I hissed out. Shoving her towards the door with lighting speed Jill was tripping over her feet as we walked outside. The sunlight even through the trees hurt my eyes as my hand quickly shaded them as we walked towards the manhole. Every so often the sunlight would peak through the trees scalding my skin when it came into direct sunlight. Biting back a full string of curses my temper flared even more as I growled from the pain. Reaching down and pulling off the metal covering wide enough for both Jill and myself to fit through she descended first going down the tiny opening looking up towards the sun my face twisted up as I growled at the light with full fledge disdain just to feel Jill's hands tugging on my pants. Damn the brat was annoying; I should just drink her dry just to be done with her. "Go down I barked out placing my hand on her head shoving her head down. When I heard her feet hit the floor I followed down the manhole myself replacing the lid, so no one would know__ the route we had taken to make our escape_


	22. Chow Time

_In the darkness of the sewer we could hear the rustling of sewage water as it trickled past us, the sound of scurrying rats as they raced by our feet made Jill gasp out. The smell of putrid raw sewage would have made me violently ill the way it was doing to Jill. Hunched over and vomiting I patted her shoulder steering her forward and to keep her moving. It seemed that we had been running down the sewage tunnel for hours when Jill slowed down her pace to catch her breath._

_"Why are you helping me?" She asked softly that it made me chew the question over in my head. It seemed lately that was all I could think about._

_"Who says I'm doing any of this for you? Maybe I'm just using you to get back into court."_

_"You know what I mean, your saving my life." She replied matter of factly that I couldn't argue with her despite just how unsettling her words were._

_"Believe what you want." I replied sarcastically. "For some reason your important, but don't think that your not living up to your name. As far as I'm concern your just bait. Something for me to dangle out to Dimitri." _

_"Aren't you afraid Dimitri and the other guardians will hunt you?"_

_"No." I replied almost tone dead. "In fact I hope that they do."_

_Stopping in her tracks Jill glanced over her shoulder to look at me her jaded eyes sharpen in the dark while she tried to make out my features. _

_"So Dimitri and Lissa can help restore you?" She asked with a puzzling curiosity that I wanted to laugh. When it came to Dimitri and Lissa I would rather burn in hell then to allow either one of them to help me. Besides I was free and the last thing I wanted was to be changed back._

_"No." I said shaking my head stubbornly at her. "It's so that I can kill them." I replied tightly that made Jill pale even more, returning her drifting gaze back down the tunnel. Again she picked up the pace running just as sharply and fast as her legs would carry her, leaving me to follow in pursuit. When we had reached the end of the long winding twisting maze of the sewage tunnel there was a ladder climbing upward. Pushing Jill up she didn't need any further coaxing from me as she climbed the metal rusted ladder._

_Reaching over her to grasp the manhole lid tightly within my hand, it was quickly thrown towards the side as I continued to push her upward. When she emerged from the hole I glanced upwards growling in rage as the sun was still up and shinning that I had to take several steps back. _

_"Go." I snarled at her angry beyond what words could say because my plans had been put on hold due __to the damn sunlight._

_Are you sure?" Jill asked peering back down at me._

_"Just go!" I howled out. "If Robert catches you again, he won't give you the option of breathing! So go and get back into court before nightfall arrives." I bellowed out feeling trapped. To my relief she grabbed the heavy lid sliding it back into place. A few seconds later I heard the sounds of her feet beating along the black asphalt as she took off running. Sagging weakly back into the wall of the sewer I grimaced out as my hunger continued to grow. All I could do was stay put until sunset which wasn't going to come fast enough. _

_Closing my mind off I crept back into Lissa head, the power of her spirit churned within her and I wonder if I could make it a two way street. Before I could only sense her emotions and thoughts but since I had been awakened. I could feel the luminous magic coil around inside like a forbidding presence waiting, beckoning to be called forth to be used. Opening the mental barriers and pushing I could feel the spirit giving way like a door way willing to do my bidding, as I pulled Lissa into my head. Flooding my mind with as much energy as I could I could feel her with me. Even in my minds eye I could see her as well as feel her. Dressed in a lavender silk shirt and blue pair of stoned washed jeans and her hair swept up. Lissa looked like royalty as she edge closer into my mind. She was getting a first hand dose of just how pissed off and angry I was. Lightening flashed in my mind as she saw images of herself being with Dimitri and the murderous rage that I felt of seeing them together like that. _

_"Rose this isn't possible. How did you?" Lissa started and began looking around her surroundings of my mind. Laughing gleeful because I was using her spirit against her that I couldn't contain myself. _

_"Our bond isn't one way anymore more sis." I purred out as I saw an image of myself going to her in a threatening manner that she shrank back from me. "I know everything there is to know about you and Dimitri." I replied wanting to feel the taste of her blood being spilled on my lips that my hand gently patted around her shoulders. The environment of this living day dream changed from being voided of all __color to now seemingly red. It reflected her blood being spilled that Lissa looked frighteningly back at me._

_"Rose I know what we did was wrong it was a mistake." She said backing off as though I could hurt her from this dream state._

_"And your plot in forcing me back to court to heal you?" I asked snatching her by the shirt. "Would you consider that a mistake to?" I ask with a evil hiss in my voice._

_"It was the only way to get you to comeback." She said loud and defensive, that I burst out laughing like a lunatic. Narrowing my eyes I circled around her stiffened figure, at one point I moved the fine stands of golden hair around my fingertips, layering them around my hand. In a playful manner just to jerk her head back so she she stare at me wildly with those striking shocked emerald of hers. From the force of my hand her breath caught as she felt the smoldering rage in me grow._

_"You ruined my life, so now I'm going to ruin yours. Every kill that I make you'll be forced to watch,knowing that your time in this world is running out. When and only when I think or feel you've had enough, then and only then, will you know that I'll be coming for you!" I replied gravelly, jerking her head back even further._

_"Rose give me a chance to make things right with you. I promise I can if you let me." Lissa cried out as her eyes grew even wilder._

_"Does it look like I want your help?" I hissed out, with nothing more to say I pulled her hair back a little harder making Lissa cry out in pain. While I sank my fangs into her neck hoping that when she woke up, I had left some kind of mark on her as I tried to gorge myself in her blood. I could only imagine the sweetness from it as my mouth leeched on even tighter, as I tried claiming the red glistening drops that sprayed from her. Disappearing the dream I felt her terror as she fled in panic from the dream world. Choking off a laugh I blinked rapidly taking in my surroundings and enjoying __that I had mastered one of her gifts. It was just a matter of time before I mastered the rest of them and would just as easily use them against both her and Dimitri as they had used spirit against me. For once I was going to be Dimitri's teacher and payback was a bitch, a lesson he was going to learn very soon._

_ Looking up at the manhole the sun was setting when I flung the lid off of the opening and climbed out. Stretching from being cramped up in the sewer I walked steadily towards court my hunger and thirst begging to be quenched. Just a couple of miles out side of the iron gates and seeing one of Adrian's favorite club hangouts. I couldn't resist going inside needing to find out what tasty morsel was on the evening menu. _

_Hmm my mind wander spotting a couple of alchemists that was seated in the far corner of the pub the honey golden tattoo was unmistakeable under both of their human right eyes. The drawing of a flowery design across their cheek, was a complete dead giveaway. Question was why were they here, they always kept to themselves hating our kind. To the left of me was a couple of drunken guardian's who must of gotten off of work from their charges or patrols. And looking up top of me on the banisters were several Moroi's seemly having a good time._

_ My choice and selection was full tonight, human, Dhampir or Moroi. "Hmmm what's a girl to do, always decisions." I snickered out and going towards the bar section of the pub. Taking a seat and pulling a few bills out of my pocket as I kept my head lowered to the counter. I told the bartender a Russian vodka after getting my drink I wandered around the small pub stopping long enough to stand on the dance floor. As my body moved to the rhythm of the music it swayed pounding to the fast pace beat and it wasn't long that I had company. His hands slid to my waste as the music pounded out a song that I knew to be by Usher. "Baby let love you down, there's so many ways to love you. Baby I can break down, there's so many ways to love you. You got me like ohh my god I'm so in love."_

_"Sean." He said spinning me around to face him, that I looked back at him with mouth watering anticipation. It had seemed that my little dance had caught the attention of a light complexion human male with crystal blue eyes and freckles. In all honesty he was very nice as his hand tussled with my __waist as he maneuvered me into the next step of the song. _

_"Rose." I said smiling back at him and swinging my hips to the left then bouncing back towards the right. Sean appeared to be really into me as his hands slid even more around my waist and when the high part of the song had me jumping into the air Sean grin grew even more._

_"Lets get out of here." He yelled out, pretending to be breathless from all the exercise and using every cunning skill that I had. I let Sean lead me out as he seemed to be the kind of guy who liked taking charge. However when I smelled the wafting scent of cloves my eyes looked hazardously around us until they found Adrian who was slowly making his way towards us._

_"Little Dhampir, aren't you going to introduce your friend here." He said arching his eyebrow at me, not fooled by a second as to what I was. _

_"I would rather not." I replied faking the smile on my face as I tried again to pull Sean out of the door way. The back of my throat burned and demanded to be fed as I looked longingly back at Sean._

_"You know this guy?" Sean asked looking deadpan between Adrian and myself. Before I had a chance to reply Adrian gave me a faint smile and turned towards Sean._

_"Sure she does. I'm her husband." Glaring at Adrian Sean hands released my waist and he stepped awkwardly off towards the side._

_"Sorry man. I didn't know, she never said anything." He said flicking his eyes between us, his adams apple bobbed up and down nervously. Adrian faked a jealous lovers look that I wanted to tear him apart in front of everyone. _

_ "Rose here seldom does, so I suggest you leave us." Adrian replied sourly then grabbing my arm trying to lead us away from him as though he was trying to distract me. Instead I countered the move to where I had both of Adrian's upper arms leading him out of the bar and into the neighboring alley. Slamming him hard into the brick Adrian struggled to get to his feet._

_"That's twice I've given up a meal. There won't be a third." I hissed angrily out._


	23. Making Friends

_You don't want to do this." Adrian said sounding surer of himself that he pushed himself away from the brick building, his emerald green eyes darkening. _

_"Compulsion?" I laughed mockingly back in his face while my hand itched forward on his royal navy blue sport shirt, touching his buttons gingerly as they went. Then sliding more and more upward towards his jawline._

_"Rose." He said sounding less cocky when both of my hands now rested on his shoulders and my right hand threaded into his wiry hair. _

_"You really don't want to do this." Adrian plead just to be cut short...….Oooh but yes I really do." I said watching the beating veins in his neck, pulsate with life fueling my need even more. Jerking his head off towards the sides my fangs lowered and dove into his tender skin of his flesh tasting victory, that I gorged myself gratifying in Adrian's unique flavoring of blood._

_"Rose….when we get you back you won't be able to forgive yourself." He cried out. Even through the blood, the rush of nicotine and alcohol flooded my sense but my hunger and thirst won out, and would not be denied any longer, as my mouth quickly filled with his life sustaining blood. He tried within my restraining hold to break free to escape, but he was completely powerless from stopping my face from shaking his neck like a wounded animal or rag doll. _

_God he tasted so good, already I could feel my body becoming stronger as more and more of his life flooded through me. Out of desperation, Adrian's fingers tried digging out my eyes or his feet would wrap around my legs trying to trip me, everything that he tried my Strigoi defenses countered and blocked. Opening my mind and pulling Lissa into my head, she screamed out as though she was able to taste his blood first hand. She was sicken when I flashed Adrian's face into my mind so that she could see firsthand to whom I was feeding from. Lifting my head gleefully I smiled showing Adrian's real face, his eyes glazed over as his breathing became more labored and quickened. _

_"Rose stop your killing him." She screamed out as my mouth lowered again so that I could enjoy my meal, savoring every precious tasty drop as they spurted into the back of my throat. "You…you can't do this, he loves you, he always has." Lissa stuttered out as if that would do any good._

_"Leave a message, Rose isn't in at the moment." I thought happily loving the torment of Lissa growing anxiety of what I was doing with Adrian. "At least he is going to go quick, unlike you and Dimitri." I thought coldly, tuning her out just so that I could finish my meal. I heard every shriek and cry of protests, and was savoring them as though they were harmonious music to my ears. _

_The sharp blinding pain in my side had me growling with rage. Dropping Adrian's lifeless body, growling and hissing out in agony just to turn around to be face by Eddie, and Mikhail, who were apparently getting off from their shift. Our eyes locked as I glared murderously at the two men, starring them both down. Swiping my claws out quickly slicing into Eddie's chest, he groaned out in agony as my hand clumsily felt the space between my shoulder blades. I tried pulling his stake out of my back, just to have Mikhail charge at me at the same time._

_"Two against one, that seems hardly fair for you." I spewed._

_"Your the one whose unprepared Rose." Eddie replied, blocking my claws just to spin me around the brick building and using it as a weapon to drive his stake in further. "You should have came with back up."  
><em>

_ Even though the stake in my back burned hotly, flipping forwards just to kick Eddie in the stomach with such force that he stumbled forward just to have Mikhail swing his stake over my face. Howling in rage my back forehand slammed across the front bridge of Mikhail's face, that his head jerked backwards. Just as Eddie snapped out of it, he charged for me again but Mikhail stumbled towards me. Grabbing him quickly from behind and smiling endearingly at Eddie._

_ Rose please…pleases no." I heard Lissa screaming loudly when I snapped Mikhail's neck with just a quick jerk and tug from my claw like hands and fingertips. The force of my hands and fingertips was so strong and fluid like, that it was almost like snapping a twig instead of strong Dhampir bones. His lifeless eyes looked unseeingly back at Eddie as his body bounced slightly as it fell hard into the ground and settling into a deathly stillness. Glaces down Eddie's jaws clinched and tightened, when he brought his eyes from Mikhail's dead body back towards mine, as my outstretched hand waved him towards me. _

_"Ready to play?" I asked giving Eddie my best man eating smile more than ready to play the game with him. _

_"Willing and able." Eddie replied coolly staring me down, suddenly the tables had turned making this game that much deadlier. Neither one of us seemed phased by it much less intimidated by the other.  
><em>

_Reaching up behind myself not bothering to take my eyes off of Eddie and grasping the handle of his stake. My hand burned as I gripped the handle hard and tugged and pulled, I felt chunks off my flesh being scalded off; as I jerked the handle sharply back pulling the cursed object out my spine and throwing it on the ground.  
><em>

_"They know… Rose and there on their way, I told them." Lissa said hysterically in the back of my head, as Eddie, I started the dance of death, we circled one another like we had so many times in the gym that it almost felt like a training exercise. I cocked my head towards Eddie in a strange manner, anticipating his every move just as he was watching me with the same curious expression._

_"I bet when you crawled out of bed this morning, you never thought you would have to face me." I hissed out lurching for him but with his fancy footwork Eddie dodge the deadly blow that was being aimed towards his throat, that I couldn't help but marvel how many times Dimitri had chided us for goofing off when it came to this particular blocking move._

_"And I bet when you were first awaken you knew that it would be one of us to set you free." Eddie challenged back ignoring my barb  
><em>

_Over the years, he had really changed becoming a far greater guardian then I had ever given him credit for as he mirrored my steps. Leaping back in a backward flip just as I had went to rake his chest with my claws again. Eddie dropped quickly to his knees, reaching out and grabbing the bloody stake as though it would offer him some measure of protection. _

_"When hell freezes over." I thought coldly as my eyes narrowed and squinted on him, wanting to give my old dearest friend half a fighting chance. Every move that he made, Eddie was over shadowing my movements He was looking for my weakness and trying to gain an opening, just they way he had been trained to do._

_"We don't have to do this." I replied somewhat honestly as we skirted around each other and he swiped out again with the stake just to hit open air. _

_What is the alternative? Me become like you?" Eddie replied harshly as his face twisted up showing his disdain, no longer seeing me as a person but rather a monster. _

_ "I don't think so. The Rose that I know would have preferred death over killing her friends, let alone those she thought of as enemies." Seeing the frustrated look on his face knowing that Eddie would make a far greater ___ally.___ It was then that I had made a decision I was going to give him a gift one that he hadn't fully earned but a gift no less. Leaping high into the air and knocking him off balance both of our bodies rolled through the alley as he wildly punched and stabbed at me with the stake. I felt it as it was shoved hard into my chest narrowly missing my heart just to be plunged deep into my stomach coming out all the way towards the other side. While Eddie was continuing to stab me with his stake, my fangs sank deep into his neck spraying blood in every direction. We both wrestled and rolled against each other ready to bring about the others end it was just a matter of who would make the fatal mistake first. _

_I don't want to kill you." I hissed out angrily needing to make a full alliance with him._

_"And I don't want to be a monster the way you are." He bellowed out haggardly gasping for his next breath when my fangs dug deep into his neck again for the second time. While the endorphin started taking affect and using every full measure of control that I had not to kill him, we rolled and tumbled in the dirt, blood, mud and rocks on the ground. It wasn't until that he had stopped moving that I released his neck and grinned coyly at him with the broadest cheeky grin. _

_Feeling like the cat's meow, running my fingers over my dripping bloody lips with my hunger and thirst satisfied. Eddies eyes seemed to lose focus as his heartbeat moved slowly in the walls of his chest ready in mere seconds to beat it's finale beat. Sitting back on my hunches, I bit down hard into my wrist as the blood sprayed around my fingertips. With my other hand, holding Eddies mouth open blood gushed in, while I held his head in place. He choked and gagged as though he was being strangled by the thick blood that coated his mouth, until his mouth worked the way mine had and he responded to the thick clotted blood and began feeding off of me. Hearing Lissa scream in the back of my head it was just too much, it was the frosting on my cake that I laughed wildly. While I looked around the alley making sure that we were still alone. _

_Adrian he may as well been good as dead but he wouldn't serve as a decent meal to someone, who was as strong sharp and cunning as Eddie. He needed someone fuller and had more life to offer then the meager hand out that I would have given him. However soon enough he would pursue Mia, who knows maybe she would even be his main course. Then again, to someone like me, Eddie loved Mia maybe he would just awaken her. Just the very thought of all those messed up feelings of love and having a soul mate was giving me a powerful headache. It always seemed to boil down to Dimitri, there was no such thing as love, he shattered the only hope that I had for it with Levent. I wasn't one to ever abandon my beliefs, but hell I had never had anyone as cold and calculating to squash my beliefs in those things before either. _

_Reaching down as though Eddie was nothing more than just a typical guardian and propping him up around my shoulders and dragging him away. I shut Lissa out kicking her out of my head so she would not be able to track us, let alone tell the other guardians where we went. Instead, Lissa sole purpose was to be Adrian's, Eddie's and Mikhail's witnesses as to what I had done to them. Glancing over at Mikhail body he was already growing cold and rigid, laughing from how I had snapped Mikhail's neck and at how easily the bones broke. Yeah you bet she would be running and telling Dimitri and anyone else who would be willing to listen to my many list of crimes as though either one could save me, I was way past forgiveness and redemption. The further away that I became from it the freer I felt and even more powerful, it was so damn liberating. _

_Slinking off into the shadows trying to find the maze back through the sewage tunnels back to Robert and Serena's lair. I couldn't even understand why I had even left._

_When I returned to the house that Serena had given me, his odor had me darting my eyes toward the couch. I had smelled him just as soon as the front door opened, I snarled at Robert just his mere presence enraged me. However for the time being I knew I wasn't strong enough just yet to outright challenge him much less go against all the other Strigoi's that Serena had called upon. That was where Eddie would come in; together we both could take down Robert and Serena._

_"Where's your little snack?" Robert asked as I dropped Eddie on the nearby chair._

_"Disposed of." I replied tightly. "What you thought she would make it through the night?" Taking in my appearance seeing my soaked blood caked shirt. Robert stood up scrapping the blood off of my chin with his long pointed claw like fingernail and suckling the dried blood from his fingertips. Growling and slamming my fist into his gut he recoiled away from me, as my fist drew ready to slam into his face when I felt someone grab my hand from behind me. _

_"Shit." I snarled out my eyes sparking with rage just to glare into Serena's ruby red glittering eyes. "Tell your boy toy, if he doesn't want to end up dead not to ever touch me again, otherwise I can't be held responsible." I said jerking my fist out of her hands. _

_"Robert leave us." Serena demanded as I glared up at him, while she placed a restraining hand on my chest._

_"That's right run along mutt." I hissed out as I shoed him off with the back of my hand as though he was being dismissed._

_"Serena.' He bellowed out and I drew back my fist again making ready for landing another uppercut blow, to his solemn stoic face. _

_"Run along….woof…woof." I snarled even louder barring my fangs at Robert, with a show of dominance that he sulked off pouting. _

_"He's a creep why do you put up with him?" I asked turning my attention back towards Eddie and opening his eyes just to see his pupils, which were still chocolaty rich brown. Then moving on to check the progress of any fangs in his mouth. "What if I had done it wrong, what if I had waited to long for the blood transfer, what if I hadn't fed him enough of my blood?" My head shouted as I began to pace back and forth keeping my eyes on him the whole time and my arms crossed over my chest._

_"Relax he is turning and it's not a complete lost cause, at least he's a guardian." She said her eyes sweeping over him as she caressed his face fondly. "I'm impressed; even now you grant my wishes without me having to ask." Serena faces soften as she studied him, then shifting her eyes back towards me as though she was figuring something out._

_"So who is he, a lover a lost soul mate, someone of importance?" She asked moving her hair off towards the side and out of her eyes," More importantly who is he to you?"_

_"Eddie Castile." I replied evenly. "A former royal guardian who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, trying to stop me." I sneered out and looking away to pull back the curtain to take a fleeting glace at the moon. "However he wasn't the only one who just happened to be in the wrong place tonight. There were also two others." Shrugging my shoulders with the same harden ice-cold grin spreading across my face. _

_"They didn't make it." I replied softly thinking of the moment when I saw the light fade out of their eyes and how they became still, dull and hollow. 'Which is a pity really?" I replied as my thoughts drifted to Adrian, poor sweet gullible Adrian. _

_When it comes to the guardians try and keep, the casualties down unbelievably they are the ones we're after and can get us that much closer to our goal, Princess Vasilisa._

_Startled in hearing her name I turned from the window facing Serena I hated being left in the dark and this was the second time her name had come up._

_"What about her?" I asked unable to keep the demanding harshness out of my voice as my eyes once more narrowed on Serena._

_"I told you once before Rose I had a score to settle with Eric and well now that he'd gone she'll have to fill in as his replacement." It was the wild determined look on her face as Serena pushed her alabaster lips into a tight line and the cold icy chill in her voice that made me believe in one fashion or another Eric had somehow wrong her._

_"Nobody gets first crack at Lissa but me." I hissed out ready to go on the offense if I had too, however not taking my threat seriously Serena flashed a ruthless smile in my direction. While she acted as though she was scraping dirt or dust out from under her long fingernails._

_"We'll both have our revenge Hathaway, for what she did to you and Dimitri and what she's done to me." She almost purred out in delight that my mind snapped forward, before I could stop myself my finger pointed in her direction as a memory of several years back in the cafeteria. The commons room written in blood had been left a message for Lissa, suddenly sprang to mind. Just as fast as the thought hit me, I lowered both my hand and averted my eyes away from her. As though guessing my thoughts Serena walked fleetingly back towards the door and looked gazing over towards Eddie she tapped her leg as though it was some kind of nervous habit. "One of these days I'll tell you about Eric, but it won't be tonight. In the meantime keep an eye on him." She replied as she pulled on the door handle letting herself out. _


	24. Long Shot

_Needing to take a breather I slipped into Lissa head she was standing in the infirmary when Janine, Stan and Alberta. When they came bustling in along with several more of the royal guardians. Mom and Stan were carrying Adrian. While Alberta and a few more of the royal guardians were carrying in Mikhail and taking him into another room. Dr. Olendzki was waiting in the first room when they brought Adrian in along with Lissa. Opening his eyes and shinning a light into them, his pupils did not change or react to the bright light that was being shined in them. Then Dr. Olendzki pulled out her stethoscope that was wrapped around her neck and attached the ear buds into her ears. Then gliding the lower part that was nestled in her hands, over his chest. It was painfully obvious that she was listening for Adrian's heartbeat and not finding one._

_"Move." Lissa shouted panicky and laying her hands on Adrian's forehead and chest. I could feel the powers of spirit swell and flow through her, as she was dumping heavy amounts into Adrian. Hell even I was hoping that her healing powers would help save him and bring him back. _

_"He shouldn't have gotten in my way." I growled out loudly. _

_"He is dead Liss." Dimitri said softly but she tsk him away from her so that she could concentrate._

_"He can't be, he was the only spirit user between us that Rose couldn't see coming and he's dead. I have to try Dimitri. I have to try. It's the only way to save Rose." Lissa cried out as she holed up inside herself concentrating and pulling on every ounce of spirit that she possessed. To a certain degree, I could lightly see Adrian's body glow from the spirit and nothing. Shaking my head, I pulled out of Lissa's head there was not anything left to see._

_Looking down at Eddie, he would awaken soon enough and have a starving appetite. Stepping out into the night air and looking at my surroundings. Dinner for a friend was on the hunting menu as I walked slowly down the center of the road. Serena thankfully did not live so far out of town to where hunting would be impossible. In fact, she lived not too far away from the local movie theater, surely there had to be somebody editable to meet Eddie's standards. Looking down the main streets of the town and drifting towards the growing crowds of people waiting to get inside to watch Harry Potter and the deadly hollows part two. _

_I bit down hard on my cheek as I thought of what Dimitri had done to me; he was the reason why I was like this. He was the reason I had been awakened in the first place and I cursed him for it. I hated everything about the man who had cost me my soul. It was his fault Adrian was dead; it was his fault that I had killed Mikhail. I snarled out bitterly feeling consumed by a poisonous rage brought on by his treachery. Looking at the group of kids along with their parents, along with another crowd of Dhampir's. I singled out the distant withdrawn teenage girl who had fallen behind just as silently and swiftly as the night._

_ Her going missing would not be noticed by anyone at least not for hours and even then with the way the girl was acting would anyone care. Just as she had turned towards the bend of the brick building to go inside. Before her hands could glide over the polished glass of the doorway, my hands grabbed her from behind. Resting my hands on her shoulders jerking her back, just as she spun around facing me. My right fist slammed hard into the side of the Dhampir girl's temple and jaw blind-siding her in one shot. _

_However, it was enough to drop her like a ton of breaks. Inspecting her neck and making sure, she was not a blood whore. I smiled with satisfaction; her skin had been untouched from what I could tell. She was pure free of fang marks and other tell tail signs and other blemishes that both Moroi's and Strigoi's would often leave behind. That should be something that even Eddie should be grateful for, I sighed out in relief. It had been such a tiring night. However soon my eyes darkened and narrowed on the sweet child's face, revenge would be mine and they all would get what was coming to them. _

_Leaning down and picking up the unconscious girl and tossing her over my shoulders, she weighed almost nothing._

_"Hey you... what are you doing over there?" An older voice rung out. Turning sharply toward the man while the girl was hosted over my shoulder. The evil cold dark smile spread across my lips as I tried giving him the old fashion Hathaway logic._

_"My friend here has been partying all night and she just passed out. I'm going to take her home." I replied trying to give him a believable explanation. Before he could say anything further, my body strained forward running down the street carrying the girl. _

_"Right home." I thought as the wicked smiling grew even larger on my face from seeing Eddie, when he would first awaken to the prize that I was bringing him.  
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_"Hey someone stop her." I heard him yelling as I darted in between the alley of the streets. Looking over my shoulder and smiling joyfully. I had out ran my pursuers, being Strigoi definitely had its advantages. I thought laughing to myself. When I got back to the house Eddie was still slumped over the chair that I had placed him in, occasionally he moaned out in pain. _

_I remembered that part, boy did I remember that part being awakened was a bitch. Your insides felt as though they were liquefying as your body started dying and everything felt molten hot as though you were burning up from the inside out. Your skull pounded so hard it felt like a dull spike was slowly parting your cranium, splitting your skull in half. The pain only intensified one long lasting heartbeat at a time until your change was complete. _

_Eddie was not the only one moaning as I laid the girl just a few feet away from him on the dark royal navy blue carpeted floor. She was already starting to come to, as I studied her. The young teenage girl had long flowing brown hair, she rather reminded me of Mia. However the hair coloring was all wrong, either way Eddie had better be grateful for all the trouble that I had went through just to get him a proper meal._

_Eddie…Eddie Castile." I bellowed out ready for him to awaken and to start appreciating the new found freedom that I had handed him on a silver platter. "Eddie." I repeated only in a more demanding tone. As the girl who I had deposited on the floor started moving slightly and becoming restless. In mere minutes this brat was going to open her frighten eyes and then wig out. Then I would really have to do something drastic. _

_Fortunately, for me, Eddie's heartbeat gave out and thudded its last beat as I looked over towards him. His ebony skin was a pale pasty ashen white and if I was to run my hands over his chest. Surely, it would be cold to the touch like ice, as my eyes flickered down to the girl below. My smile glowed coldly across my face as she recognized the fangs and her weary eyes matched mine. Her troubled features only grew to a more hysterical level. Her heart began pounding wildly loud enough to where I could hear it even from here as she quickly realized what I was and the danger she was in. _

_"Dinner time little one." I smiled smirkingly back down towards her, the girl scuttled backwards until her back bumped into the wall as she looked at me then over towards Eddie. Who was also showing more and more signs of life? Even his animated heart slowly thrummed with renewed life as his eyes lids slowly parted and just a hint of his ruby red pupils glistened. Looking around as though he was in some kind of hazy fog Eddies head lifted as his eyes met mine. _

_"Please I…I don't want no trouble." She stammered out as Eddie sat upright in the chair._

_"You changed me." He hissed out in a loud growl glaring back sharply at me with accusing red-rimmed eyes, as though he was seconds away from exploding._

_"And gifted wrapped a meal for you as well." I snorted not in the mood for his little tantrums of feeling violated. _

_"I didn't ask to be awakened." He snarled outlandishly at me. Spewing his spital across the room and leaping out of his seat. Letting it explode backwards as the rugged wooden frame of the chair splintered into the hard cement and plastering of the wall. This was going to get ugly real fast and real quick just seeing the hatred flash across his face. While he leaped up and pounced on me, you would have thought I was going to be in trouble as his fists and claws blindly swung out, striking, and hitting into me. Wildly I laughed out at his clumsiness; he sure as hell was not ready to take me on. Lifting the back of my right arm, I blocked his attempt to throw a wild punch into my face and spun away from him just to punch Eddie hard in the mouth, just to have his blood spurt out and his eyes flared even more wildly out of control as he hissed and snarled back at me. He needed taking down a peg or two and I was just the woman to do it._

_"Look at you." I sneered coldly back into his face and grunted when his foot sent me sprawling into the neighboring wall. "You're faster, stronger then you ever have been in your entire life." I replied just as icily as I pushed myself off the wall and flew into him. "I could have killed you instead but chose to give you this gift. How does this gift feel all the power. You're senses heightened and coming alive all at once?" He blocked the left and right fist that I threw at him but when I did a backward flip into the air clipping him once in the jaw and then in the back of the head his body was thrown forward where he nearly smashed face first into his meal. Breathing hard he crawled on all four and leaned on the girl for support who trembled frighten in his arms._

_"Please mister." She tripped over herself "Please don't hurt me." The girl begged out but Eddie slowly stood back to his feet taking the back of his hand and wiping the blood from his busted lip. Even I could see the beginning twinkle in Eddie's eyes as they started shinning back into mine. He was enjoying the different sensations coursing through him and his body, feeling far more powerful and sensing the new found freedom that was giving to him._

_"It does feel good." He said openly amused as he gazed down at his hand testing his strength as his hand opened and closed. He was looking at his hand, arm, and even the coloring of his skin for the first time when his head raised. _

_"You wouldn't have let me done it willingly and we both know it, but can you honestly stand there now even though hunger is clawing at your belly wishing for me to take it back?" I purred out knowing now that he needed no further convincing._

_"No." He said more slowly as his hand punched hard into the wall and he stared at his fist in wonder then slowly turning around to face me again. "I'm still alive." He said gruffly "And that I am thankful for and this well…..this does feel good, real good in fact." As his head slowly lowered and his eyes found the girl. I walked towards my bedroom, making sure that Lissa was getting one hell of a birds eyes view, as Eddie jerked the girl hard into his arms and onto her feet._

_"Please…. Please… no." She screamed out as his hands restrained her futile attempts of kicking and beating her small balled up fists into his chest _

_"Please…. No." She whimpered out when Eddie's mouth open wide and tore savagely into her neck. I could hear Lissa in the back of my head screaming; even through the bond, she thought I was some kind of monster. _

_"Lissa that's not very nice." I taunted cocking my head to the side enjoying watching Eddie feed, it was just so damn entertaining. The girl's blood slowly pooled and ran silently down her neck and her eyes glazed over from the effects of the endorphins._

_Eddie's mouth was coated in the spraying blood. Drifting into Lissa head while she was sucked into mine. I leaned heavily against the doorway almost in a cationic daze._

_"Lissa what's is Rose doing now?" Dimitri demanded shaking her limp form._

_"She's…..she's …watching…Watching what?" Levent demanded which made Lissa nauseous as she tried pulling away from Dimitri but he would not let her budge an inch._

_"Eddie." Lissa gasped out taking a deep breath and feeling as though she was drowning on the girl's blood herself. "Rose is watching Eddie feed for the first time. The girl that I told you about at the movies….Eddie is drinking from her… ugh god Dimitri he's drinking her dry." Lissa moaned out in agony and in despair. "And Rose ….she's enjoying it."_

_"You just couldn't stand it could you?" Levent asked so quietly that I barely heard him. Dimitri lifted his head up to look at the man whose arms were crossed over his chest as he lazily strolled into Lissa apartment._

_"What the hell are you talking about?" Dimitri asked in a commanding voice to know what Levent was trying to say. Levent lightly chuckled a small humorless laugh as his eyes narrowed on him, border lining an emotion that I had never seen cross his face before._

_"You broke her; the both of you broke her." Levent glared up with accusing eyes and gesturing with his finger to both Dimitri and Lissa. "Then she comes to Turkey to get the hell away from the both of you. But just couldn't let it lie could you?" Levent asked shaking his head in denial along with rage." You had to follow her …you pursued her and your lanet dumbass indüklenen bir ruh şehvet cazibesi ile, ona tecavüz o sevilen ve güvenilir, sonra ona karşı kullanılan bir şehvet bu yüzden onunla bir gece olabilirdi? "Levent finished in Turkish, but with the way Dimitri eyes harden on him it was clear that he knew what Levent had said. _

_"I didn't rape her." Dimitri growled out and Levent as though a switch had been flicked on snapped and charged at Dimitri. However, he threw the first punch catching Levent hard in the jaw, but Levent wore an evil cruel smile. One that was so cold and chilling you would have thought he was part Strigoi himself. When his head snap back his eyes narrowed so much on Dimitri. That his gray eyes looked like partial slits and he went off, both of his hands were doing combinations punches on Dimitri. Once in the side of Dimitri's head the other in his gut. Dimitri brought his legs up from behind himself, catching Levent in his forehead and Levent was knocked temporarily back. Both men looked as though they were ready to kill each other._

_"I didn't rape her." Dimitri growled out in a deadly voice that made the hairs on my neck prickle from the excitement of seeing the two._

_"Oooh no?" Levent challenged just as hotly back. "Then what the hell would you call it, pretending to be me. Adrian... god Adrian showed me how compulsion works. And now he's dead because of you and so is another fine guardian." With a swift sidekick into Dimitri sternum, he gasped out his face glowing red as though he was a deflated balloon. However, Dimitri was far from being beaten a he landed a power punch into Levent's jaw. Spirit was swelling within Lissa as I could feel her body trembling in fear for both men one of them was going to end up dead and we both knew it._

_"Enough both of you." Just as Lissa stood to get between them Levent pushed her out of the way to get to Dimitri again. _

_Dimitri used the distraction to his advantage to get a good shot in on Levent, as his fist slammed into Levent's under side jaw snapping his head back, shrugging it off. Levent charged and tackled Dimitri into the wall with a sickening thud that knocked several of the pictures off of the wall and cracked the plaster. Both of his fists went slamming into the side of Dimitri's head and one busting his nose. However, Dimitri grunted in pain, using his leg to go in between Levent's, his leg was locked into place in a tripping move. Levent was hurdle backwards where his body impacted the floor knocking the wind out of him and taking Dimitri with him. Both men were punching the other as the blood was flying into the air. When the guardian's came running into Lissa apartment breaking up the fight and pulling a combative Levent off of Dimitri who was on top. Then grabbing an equally combative Dimitri, who was still swinging while the other guardians were attempting to hold him back._

_"You can dress it up any way you see fit Belikov. You raped her and you're the reason she's a Strigoi, and you'll be the reason Rose Hathaway ends up staked." Levent snarled deadly at him. "I'm fine." Levent glared coldly at Alberta, and Stan, slowly releasing him. Levent stalked out of the room punching the outside hallway as he was leaving. _

_"This isn't over Belikov not by a long shot." He yelled out before he disappeared out of eyesight._


	25. Love The Way You Lie

"_Levent wait up." Alberta called giving chase after him, that he spun around so fast that she collided into him. "I...I was sent to inform you that Styles and the others are in the study along with Abe. They're waiting for you and also you Princess"Alberta said over her shoulder meeting Lissa puzzled expression who had unexpectedly followed hoping to help calm Levent down some. _

"_You'll be wanting to come as well Belikov." Stan informed Dimitri as they both walked at a slower pace._

_When did Abe and the secret ops arrive?" Dimitri asked as though an inner switch had been flipped on turning on the guardian inside of him as he took in his surroundings and noticing the extra amount of security._

_"Shortly after word gotten out about Rose." Stan explained quietly. "I know what you going to ask Dimitri but save your questions for Abe." He said holding his hand out stopping Dimitri from asking anything else. "The old man is the one calling the shots now._

"_By whose authority?" Dimitri countered not wanting to let it go just yet._

"_Great that just freaking great...as if Abe needs anyone's permission Belikov." Levent said tersly without breaking stride, he followed Alberta outside into the cold chilly night. Pulling the collar around his neck even tighter it was easy to see that he wasn't use to the cooler temperatures here in Montana while small puffs of grayish white air pushed away from his lips._

"_You should know there's not much that goes on in these parts that Mr. Mazur is not aware of when it concerns his daughter." Alberta stated breaking the awkward silence that was growing. "Or for that matter anyone dumb enough to get in his way" She replied as she crossed the guardian's quarters and leading everyone outside towards the quorum. The building that had been used so many times in the past for justice or those of civil complaints, where the queen herself had made numerous appearances, was bustling with activity as Levent's secret ops crew emerged standing guard. When Alberta pulled the heavy oak wooden doors opened I swallowed hard the growing lump that had formed in the back of my throat. "Steady Rose." I cautioned not wanting to alert Lissa of my presence of being with her._

"_But that doesn't explain why he want to see me...Sure it does Liss._"_Dimitri replied. "He is holding us responsible for whats happened to Rose._

"_And so you should be you sick fu..."Levent countered with frostily glazed glittering eyes that were still brimming in rage._

"_They'll be no further talks of blaming." Abe's voiced echoed in the dimly lite room, but the quiet grave steel tone in his voice silenced everyone while all eyes rested on him. While Abe was thumbing through the mountainous paper work Christian shuffled on the couch sitting next to Tasha. Abe had called in the troops and maybe some of the national guards an inner voice whispered into my head he's gearing up for war and from the looks of it he wasn't taking any prisoners. _

_" Despite from the obvious Rose is a liability and a threat to everyone in here...She knows things for god-sakes, she the guardian of the next future queen. To allow any harm to come to the Conta's and their extended families must be avoided at all costs." He pointed out as he walk towards the wet bar lifting the flask of scotch and pouring the brown contents in a glass. With a long drawn out pause he swiftly turned. " Even now Rose poses a threat to the ailing queen. Tatiana knows this and is already making arrangements for the military to get involved or haven't any of you notice the heavy artillery floating about on your way in?" Abe sighed heavily. "I'll be damn if the court's army is going to go after her." He stated matter of factly "If anyone is going to go after my daughter...and ugh do whatever needs to be done... whether it her disposal, it will be of my choosing and not of that of the bloody damn courts."_

_When Levent's eyes met the tall sandy blonde Moroi woman's face who had been sitting on the other side of Christian, his face went rigid and pale, from what I could tell he took in a shaky unsteady breath and his body tensed up. _

_Soon everyone was watching the two and even Dimitri seemed to take a noticeably interest in her as he silently relaxed as the newcomer stood up and walked towards Levent._

"_It's been a long time... Mr. Mazur was just filling us in on your student and her last kills. Errr Rose...Rose...Hathaway?" She asked looking over at Serena and Styles for confirmation. "You must have some ideas as to what some of her habits are?" She asked questioningly back. "After all both you and Mr. Belikov are the ones who have trained her." She said gesturing her hands back to both Dimitri who seemed very interested in following along in the conversation. "To some degree you even lived with her am I right?" She asked once again meeting Levent's hard gaze"  
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"_Marian?"Levent shook his head, almost in denial as though he was looking at a ghost. His gray eyes pinning hers. " A long time isn't the right word in how I would describe it, now would it?. What are you doing here...ahhhh...that would be because of me." Abe replied stopping Levent from questioning her further. _

_"It's her skills that I felt would be an asset to us and her close involvement with the sympathetic alchemists, that want to ensure we handle this matter as peacefully as we can. With the least amount of human exposure, however in Rose's current condition I don't think that will be all the alchemists needs to worry about." Abe reasoned with a deadly intent, leaning over just so that he was inches away from Dimitri he arched his eyebrow up towards him "Now you my boy have some explaining to do. He whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Grasping him by the sleeve of his upper arm, I saw Pavel following them out through a side door.  
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"_Earth to Rose …...Earth to Rose."Eddie said snapping his fingers in front of my face drawing my attention to the dead girl laying on the floor. "Ahhh...that's much better! So how's the sis?" His grin brought out the cold bitterness within me and I didn't resist the urge to head butt him in the face just on principle._

"_Hey what did you do that for?" He asked holding his nose and looking like the scorned child that had his favorite toy taken away. With a sly wink I brushed past him and walked over towards the window pulling the curtains back to stare at the glowing full moon. _

"_Because even you need to learn your place." I replied more thoughtfully "And while I'm in Lissa head, you have to learn to stay out of mine. With everyone coming after us, we'll need the advantage by staying one step ahead of everyone and that means going into Lissa's head more often and I need you to watch my back when I do." I said softly as I caught his reflection looking back at me._

"_Well that's a scary place to be." Bending down and grasping the dead girl by her wrists. Eddie in know time heaved her body around his shoulders as though he had flung on a winter coat, only the soft thud against his back from her head bouncing was the last reminder of the lost battle the teen girl encountered._

"_There coming after you aren't they?" Eddie asked even though he already knew the answer, feeling some minor annoyance that he could speak so candidly about the obvious. I shrugged my shoulders and turned away from him to peer out the window again. While I pulled the image of the blonde girl who had spoken to Levent, somehow she seemed to know him. Chewing on my the long jagged nail of my fingernail i blinked in confusion trying to put together the missing pieces. "What did Levent call her... Marian...I asked softly to myself. _

_"It will be their blood that flows, in long rivers into our cups feeding our needs as we take them out one at a time." Eddie stated breaking into my thoughts once more. "Then we'll show them that the strong governs the weak. We'll turn everyone back at court into our willing slaves and for a change." Eddie added smirking "The royal's will have a better understanding of what it really means to be hunted." The iron cold sharpness in Eddie's voice from the victory that he was already plotting did me proud and I knew in that single moment that I had made the smartest choice in awakening him. _

"_Which is why were going to hunt them first... besides." I said with a slow smile creasing my face thinking of Dimitri. "It's time to repay some old debts and I know just where to start."_

_And that would be?" Eddie asked as he walked towards the door._

"_Sydney Sage, the human mystery who serves under the religious fanatics." I cackled back thinking of our first time meeting back in Russia. "The human race, the only pure race... blaugh blaugh blaugh." I hissed out remembering how the little miss goodie two shoes saw us. "Evil creatures of the night." I thought smugly, well if Sydney wanted a red eyed, fanged teeth monster that had all good alchemists hiding under their beds, then she would have one. I would make even what Dimitri had done look saintly by comparison. _

_As I followed Eddie out, the door closed softly behind us, several miles down the road Eddie shrugged off the girl he had been wearing unceremonially into a dumpster and kept even pace with me. The heighten Strigoi senses kept both Eddie and myself sharply alert keen into our surroundings from the late night crickets chirping to the rustling of feathers maybe from an owl or other winged creature. Our eyesight was just as sharp and crisp as it was to the humans, Moroi's and Dhampir's during the day, just only better every fine detail came to life. Brilliance of colors made every fern, blade of grass more alive yeah that was the key word alive. Before long Eddie gave chase to a crossing deer that had darted into a clearing. Just for the hell of it I followed in pursuit temporarily forgetting about Sage, Levent and my gnawing hunger for revenge against Dimitri. Leaping up and swinging myself up into the tree branch I watched as Eddie followed his instincts he was all predator as he caught up to the large buck. Sweeping his long claws into the side of the buck, the retched animal screamed in agony. Who would have ever know deers could make that kind of screaming sound as a long tearing flesh speared open leaving a bloody trail for Eddie to follow. Once more he darted bouncing off the trees and branches catching sight of his prey until he had grasped it from behind. In a high speed chase for the finish Eddies hand nuzzled the beast from behind, with a swift tug and pull from his fingers the bones cracked loudly dropping the buck limply at his feet. With a boyish grin covered in the animals blood and with a playfulness that I hadn't seen since we were kids, Eddie tag me as it and I feinted to the left. Laughing soulfully and looking for his next kill._

_ It was all fun and games until the bright city lights reminded me what this little outing was really about. We needed humans, Moroi's or Dhampir's, I thought anxiously, as I scanned the crowded mall's parking lot. At this early hour of night there were so many of them a little girl in a white dress clutching her mother and father's hand going in for some seasonal shopping I mused back with scattering interests.  
><em>

"_It's like an all you can eat buffet...So many different shapes and sizes to choose from."Eddie drawled out while his eyes followed mine to the bristling crowd coming outside of Macy's department store._

"_Stow it, we're not here for the food we're here for one of them." I explained as he grasp my elbow with his hand._

_"There." I replied pointing out two left behind Dhampir's guards, but from here, they could have passed for being human. They must have been guardian's because they're eyes locked with ours and the red flags flashed before them as though we had an APB out on us. "Remember not food." I repeated again as the burly looking Dhampir charged straight towards me. He had to be close to Mikhail height maybe a little shorter and the stocky build wasn't slowing him down none. Even with some light dusting of gray touching his reddish hair this Dhampir looked to be in his mid thirties or forties which I really wasn't sure of. Just as his hand reached the stake at his hip, numbly I opened my mind into Lissa's, channeling the power of spirit from her. Once long ago I had witnessed Lissa making Jessy see his worst fears come to life, spiders were crawling all over him which left him weak helpless and ripe for the picking. And in this Dhampir's mind I was projecting the same thing and from the looks of it he was defending himself from an evasion of Strigoi's. The rush of adrenaline, the need for fighting and taste for blood coursed through me as I fought against my nature to stay in control. With disappointment raging hungrily through me I stared into his eyes as I had seen Lissa so often do when she was using compulsion._

"_Be still and be silent you are going to follow me and my friend here." Breaking eye contact and looking at the different cars I looked back at him. "Which one...which car is yours?" _

"_The yellow Honda Civic." He said pointing to the small car, the loud wailing drew my attention over to Eddie. The guardian that he was facing was putting up a bigger fight then I had expected of him and Eddie was taking great pleasure in throwing him in between the two builds, using the Dhampir's strength and weight as a battering ram. Just as the guardian's face bounced off the cinder bricks he spun around with his stake cutting and slicing into thin air but narrowly avoiding Eddie._

"_Ohhh just bite him already." I growled out noticing the unwanted attention that Eddie was casting on us. Catching the guardian's writs within his hand that held the stake he turned it with such swift precise precision the guardian screamed out in agony from the bone crunching and popping sounds that the useless limb was making. Then flinging his arm up behind him Eddie was posed directly behind him with a trumpet look of glee and satisfaction. His long fangs grazed the skin before the two needle sharp spears bit deep into the guardian's neck cutting off an further sound. _

_Lifting my prize catch of the day none to gentle by the scruff of his neck and half dragging and half carrying him at the same time to the parked car, I impatiently waited for Eddie to follow suit with us towards the Honda, that was parked along the side entrance building of Macy's and Sears._

_"You cheated." Eddie accused as I shoved the guardian in the back seat commanding his mind to relive all the horrors that his puny little mind could muster. "Look at that not even so much as a stain on that pretty little blouse of yours." He mimicked out as he shoved in his unconscious guard in as well._

_"So sue me it's not like Lissa using her powers any ways and besides." I replied climbing into my seat waiting for Eddie to get behind the wheel. "How am I suppose to save your ass if I don't learn how to channel her powers? I need real live targets and not the kind that can be found only in her head" _

_"It's still cheating and not near as fun." He grumbled out as he turned to look at the guard with his hand held out. "Hey you... meat face... keys." He snapped expectantly just as the guard fished through his pockets retrieving them Eddie turned back around in the seat once the keys were dangling in his hand. Without a word almost with a sixth sense he started up the car and placing the ignition into drive, it wasn't until we were cruising down interstate one forty one that it became all too real that we were heading towards court._

_ "Your right but where we're going we'll have plenty of fun, just not in the way you expecting it." I replied exhaling the breath that I wasn't aware that I had been holding. Eddie's jaw clinched as he drove down the long darken stretch of road that laid before us, every so often I would catch he's eyes looking up in the mirror checking in on our back seat passengers._

_**Hey everyone as you can tell The Other Woman won in the polls and it was so fun writing this chapter. Hmmm what is our darling Rose up to can anyone one guess? Also what did you think of our beloved Eddie hahah he makes such a killer Strigoi don't you think. So much happened in this chapter and should any of you have any question I be delighted to answer without giving the storyline away. Thanks for all the warm reception in my coming back and well wishes! I sure hope I didn't disappoint any of you and that this was worth the long anticipated wait. There are just so many of you to thank so please know this chapter is dedicated to all of my supporters and loyal fans without you well I wouldn't being doing this. Best wishes now and always from your vamp friend Elfina **_

_PS _

_Also I have just read bloodlines and ugh how could Mead leave such a huge cliffhanger like that? I mean that's just something that I would do hahaha, anyways share your comments as to what you thought of the book  
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	26. Point Of No Return

_When the agonizing moans coming from the back seat became unbearable from the guard that was slowly coming around, Eddie slammed his fist into the steering wheel and jerked his head around towards the back. "Will you for the love of god shut the hell up." He snarled out loudly towards the guard. " I mean all that moaning and groaning going on back there it's just hard to hear myself think...Eddie keep your eyes on the road." I hissed out clutching the wheel as we were about to go off the side of the road. With a grunt he turned back around in his seat reclaiming the steering wheel once more, as his other hand reached out clasping the dial to the radio console and turning the dial into the on position._

I'm on a highway to hell  
>On the highway to hell<br>Highway to hell  
>I'm on the highway to hell<p>

_"Hey check this out their playing our song." He rambled out and his loud voice matched that of the song that was blaring over the radio airways. Rolling my eyes I leaned my head against the window then pressing them shut as I recounted hearing this kind of music when I had ridden shotgun with Dimitri, this would be the kind of music even he would be belting out if he was around for our little joyride. That's just great...fantastic." I mummer out wondering just how many other morons would listen to this kind of crap._

No stop signs  
>Speed limit<br>Nobody's gonna slow me down  
>Like a wheel<br>Gonna spin it  
>Nobody's gonna mess me 'round<br>Hey Satan  
>Paid my dues<br>Playin' in a rockin' band  
>Hey momma<br>Look at me  
>I'm on my way to the Promised Land, wooh<p>

_"Come on Rosie poise sing with me." Eddie taunted that I reached up and smacked him in the back of the head. "Your pushing your luck buddy." With a rueful grin I had to admit violence was the answer. Already I was feeling better even if Eddie was sulking, leaning back against the window and doing my best to block out the music my mind wondered, slinking back just as easily into Lissa head and drowning out the remaining lyrics of the song which Eddie decide to chirp back into singing._

I'm on the highway to hell  
>Highway to hell<br>I'm on the highway to hell  
>Highway to hell<p>

_Lissa was sitting back on the couch looking blankly at the ceiling in an all too familiar room, her living room suit of her loft. Her mind was so full of jumbled up stuff, one emotion after another colliding within her. Grief of all the innocent deaths that she had seen. Grief of all the relationships that had been destroyed, some that were her fault and of those whose lives that had been ruined and shattered because of what I had done. Terror of what I would continue to make her see, knowing that someone was after her and the knowledge that her time was running out. Terror of knowing it was a matter of time when I would get my hands on her. Terror that I would either kill her or worse awaken her. Loneliness, she was missing Christian her heart was painfully aching to have him back in her life, to have him look at her the way that he used to, to have him love her with all the passion that they once had shared. Loneliness that I would never want to be apart of her life again, that if I was able to be saved that I would shun and abandon her as I had already had. Loneliness that I wouldn't be able to be changed or saved and that I wouldn't want to be saved, not by her or anyone. Mingled in with a hell of allot of guilt for sleeping with Dimitri. Pushing him so far past the edge that he hated her for it and had concocted the plan to use spirit against me. She had known all along that he had a plan, that he was going to do something drastic to try and bring me back and foolishly she had helped him. Lissa hadn't known to this full extent as to what his plans had been until she had learned of Dimitri using spirit pretending to be Levent, then everything had clicked she was blaming herself._

_ Good you should I thought richly trying to hide my presence from her. I hope you hurt and bleed the way I did. I thought amusingly at her plight and anguish. Then there was the guilt over Adrian, she laid that blame on herself as well, because it was her that had used him to distract me from the meal at the club. She had sent Adrian there thinking that I wouldn't harm him, thinking that there was just a spark of humanity left when there was none. Closing her eyes she felt like a fool. The knocking on the door had her opening her eyes, "Come in." She sniffed, using the back of her hand to wipe her eyes, she got up and walked over towards the desk, pretending that she was alright as her hand skimmed the front cover of the fashion magazine. _

"_Alberta said you wanted to see me." Christian asked closing the door behind him. Nodding her head, she was making me seasick._

"_Listen I told you...It's not about that." Lissa denied then looking up to see him still standing by the door._

"_I asked you here because...because, we can't let them kill Rose and I know you care about her and um...I need your help." She asked pleadingly back at him. "I can't do this on my." She reasoned._

"_Lissa I don't think I can help...Please Christian this is Rose were talking about. I can't lose her permanently, not the way that I lost you okay. She'll be dead and it will be all my fault." Ahh poor baby I sighed out. Having such conscious just actually agrees with you." I snickered._

"_You heard what Abe said he's no fool, anything that we plan with you, she'll see coming and trying to restore her soul is out of the question, it's ahhh." Christian said hoarsely as though pain itself was clutching at his throat. "It's..just to dangerous, you already saw what she is capable of._

"_This isn't some other Dhampir that we're talking about, this is Rose." Lissa said angrily._

_Christian sucked in a deep breath as though he was about to explode and walked over and gripped her shoulders shaking her hard enough that Lissa's teeth started rattling._

"_Don't you think that I know that...Dammit." He growled out his pale ice blue eyes narrowing into slits. Forcefully he let her go with a hard shove that she would have fallen over if she hadn't of grabbed a hold of the back of the chair. _

"_You should have thought about that...what before I had slept with Dimitri or after when I had help him in getting Rose to come back here?" Lissa asked suddenly feeling cold and numb that she wanted to run and hide. Christian's rejection was worse then any blade that she had ever used against her wrist. His words bit deeper then any blade ever could of and yet she still wanted desperately his help in trying to save me. "Trust me I think about it everyday, not a single moment goes by when I don't think about it." She said taking a shaking breath as tears slowly started dripping on the back of her hands that was still clutching the chair as though just to keep her rooted upright._

" _Look I didn't come here to fight with you." Christian said more softly, shaking his head and rubbing the bridge between his brows in frustration he turned around placing his hand back on the doorknob. " " I can see coming here was a mistake...Christian please don't make me do this by myself." Lissa screamed almost begging as he opened the door and stepped out without saying another word leaving Lissa alone once more._

"_Hey... we're here...Rose... we're here." The gentle shake and pressure of Eddie's hand on my shoulder brought me back into the car. Blinking rapidly my eyes quickly adjusted and focused on our surroundings. "Good." I mumbled out "Because that was just so nauseatingly sick." I hissed. "I meaning that kind of thing should at least carry a fucking warning label on it."_

"_What Lissa's sex life." Eddie howled out which made me laugh as well. Shaking my head and opening the car door I laughed again. "Nope." I said shaking my head even harder. "It seems that dear Oooo sis has a guilty conscious. I replied as I jerked the back passenger door open and grabbing the guard by the scruff of his neck out from the back seat, then slamming him into the truck of the car  
><em>

"_Ewwww your right that is scary, damn I'm glad I'm not you." Eddie snickered out and pulled his guard out from behind the drivers seat as well and shoved him into the guard that was leaning over the trunk of the car, trying to brace himself for whatever was about to happen next. Turning my attention to the one that I had already used compulsion on I gazed as deeply as I could into his smoky quarts gray eyes. And reached within Lissa mind pulling as much spirit as I could from her._

_When you see Eddie heading for the gates drawing the attention of one of the guardian's you will wait until we take him out. Then he'll give you the stake to break the wards with...No I can't." He said trying to shake off the affects of compulsion, that I pushed more spirit into him. "Your going to break the wards and when your through your going to find the princesses." Smiling wickedly I winked at Eddie then looked just as penetrating back into the guard's eyes again. "And your going to let her know how much you love her, how much you need her. Do you understand." I purred out in the sweetest voice that I could muster. _

_When I looked back over to Eddie he was taking off into a dead run not wasting any time to get to the gates of courtyards. Walking stealthily over to the other guard I gave him the same message as I had given to the first. Standing as close to the fence that wrapped around the courtyards. I watched as Eddie was battling two of the guardian's that were monitoring the gates. Nervously I watched and waited hoping to hell the alarms wouldn't sound until I had gotten what we had came for. _

_However Eddie was lightening fast as he leaped up into the air landing squarely on the woman guardian's shoulders tackling her to the ground, wrapping his hand around the base of her neck. He twisted sharply backwards then another hard jerk facing off to the side. He had killed her in the same manner in which Mason had been killed, quietly without a sound. Another guardian had saw what had happened and rushed out to help his partner not knowing that it was already to late for her. Eddie laid in waiting in a crouching position, the poor bastard didn't even see him coming, as he came running outside of the protection of the gates. That's when Eddie struck, pushing up with his legs in a high air jump, his hands were outstretched and grasp the man by the shoulders. Jerking him hard and swiftly towards his chest Eddie sunk his fangs into his neck before the guards could even make a sound. _

_The guardian was bled dry before his body had even hit the ground his eyes were wide open with the look of shock about him, that I wanted to laugh, but instead bit down hard on my tongue. Turning my attention back towards the two guards they walked briskly towards the gates and I hissed with excitement. When I saw the burly one grasping the stake tightly and spearing the ward as he driven the stake into it. A bluish charge bolt of energy lit up around the broken ward and a few seconds later it faded and the glass shattered on the ground around it. Glancing over the other guard he had also walked towards another ward when Eddie ran up towards me._

"_So do you wanna fill me in or do I have to guess?" He asked smirking as he wiped the blood away from his mouth._

"_I'm going into the quorum, I need to get my hands on a few of the queen personal records." I replied sheepishly and leaped over the fence. Eddie keeping pace with me cleared the fence as though the jump didn't seem to faze him anymore then it had me._

"_Your crazy right? You're just going to waltz right on into the heart of the lions den?" He asked as we were drawing closer. The guardians we're patrolling had just passed us as I jerked hard on his upper arm and slammed him hard into the side of the guardian's building._

"_Crazy." I said tilting my head off to the side to look at him. "Maybe... but I need those records, otherwise I won't be able to get Sydney's address...wait a minute." He said harshly flinging my hand off his arm. "All of this for an address?" He said sneering out as he waved his hand at the courtyard._

"_As a matter of fact yes and that's not all that I need." I growled in a low hiss, getting more and more pissed by the second that he was challenging me here of all places. _

"_Why is there some other place that you need to be? Maybe have a hot date or something?" Shrugging his shoulders Eddie glared at me and with a low rumbling growl vibrating from his chest he leaned in close to me. "Maybe, but I don't like being kept in the dark either. Their more than just your ass being on the line here." Eddie snarled barring his fangs at me and jabbing his chest with his thumb driving the point home that he had just as much to lose as I did. _

_Regardless of the consequences of being discovered I clocked him hard with my forearm and elbow in the jaw, which knocked him slightly backwards. Jerking Eddie by the collar of his shirt and with a growl of my own. "If you suddenly feel froggie Castle and wanna take me on, then choose a better setting then here at court. Like home maybe." _

_Shoving away from me he started to walk off when I grabbed him and spun him back around. "Where are you going...I already told you when you asked Hathaway. I have somewhere that I need to be...Fine." I snapped out hoping the patrolling guardian's hadn't heard me, throwing my hands up in the air I gave up, and slunk back into the shadows. With the rustling blade of grass I knew that Eddie had left. Dimitri had always said Strigoi's couldn't work together and with our sharpening attitude towards one another, and our quick tempers I could finally see why. _

_If my normal Dhampir heart was beating, it would have exploded out of my chest with the thrill and excitement of being caught as I raced past the guardian's quarter's. Just as I was about to pass the royal Moroi's quarters I caught sight of another patrol, only from the voices talking it was Stan and Alberta. Flattening my back against the cold cinder bricks I waited._

"_I'm just saying we don't need outside interferences...we can take care of our own." From where I was standing Alberta was irritated, annoyed and above all mad, madder then hell. _

"_That's where you're wrong the attacks against the princess are eating up all of our resources, every guardian here is pulling second shifts and are practically dead on their feet. Even with the special ops team, we're stretch pretty thin, and then...and then there's Rose...she's still out there." Stan said waving his hand dismissively. Pulling his jacket even more tighter around himself Stan was shielding himself from more then just the weather. Just as they passed by and started walking towards the west side of the gates my shoulders dropped and and I was able to push on ward towards the back building of the royal Moroi's peoples quorum. To rush right on in would be foolish if not stupid looking and seeing the different windows from above and the one that was least expose to the courtyards security lights. My claws dug deep into the cinder bricks chiseling small groves for my hands to rest upon. Slowly but surly I was scaling the grayish wall. Every so often catching site of the guardian's down below that were on patrol. Just as I was eye level towards the window and peered into the room it had fitted my purposes pefectly, it was empty and darken from what I could see. Using my back forearm I swallowed hard as my elbow struck the smooth glassy surface sending glass fragments into the room and down below. This was a moment of truth would anyone hear the glass breaking or worse yet what if someone found the broken glass on the ground below me? _

_Slipping into the room seemly unnoticed, again I took to the shadows the way a fish would to water, keeping my back agile to every rough surface of the walls. This was the quorum itself, were laws were being heard and latter on being made and fates were sealed, like in Victor's trial, my entrance alone had been from the far corner of the throne. The red burgundy wine colored chair trimmed in gold was where the queen had sat. Knowing that I had to get out of here fast my Strigoi speed kicked in, quietly I slipped out of the room. First checking the hallways, in a high blur chase I raced passed the other guardian's that were still in the study, which from the sounds of it was full of Abe's men, then breezing past the library. I wanted to laugh at their ignorance here they were discussing their campaign on how they were going to capture me and here I was sneaking past them. The moment couldn't have been anymore funnier then if I had planned it. Just as I had passed the front lobby a sign had made me crack a smile, Booking Keeping and Records was what the golden and silver embroidered sign read. _

_Quietly turning the knob letting myself in, there were rows and rows of file cabinets. In the center of the room was a large black oak table that could easily seat at least eight Dhampir's or Moroi's at a time. Resting on top of it's wooden surface were laptop computers, several reading lamps and some magazines and newspapers. Push underneath were black leather chairs, in two different sections of the room were paper shredders. Hurriedly I scanned over the file cabinets opening the drawers, then running my fingers over the various yellow folders skimming the names, stopping long enough to collect the files that I wanted. The biggest challenge that I was facing was so far was I hadn't been able to find Sages name. In a darken drab corner of the room was another file cabinet. Kneeling down on my knee's I pulled and tugged forcing the drawers open as I thumbed through the posh folders. I smiled triumphantly as I found Sage's name cramped in the back, it was under unofficial governmental support agencies. Just as I had pulled the folder from the drawer a light had snapped on, turning my head at the deadly quiet newcomers who had entered the room a slow vibrating growl echoed off of my chest. _

"_Doing some light reading Rose or couldn't you find anything in the Library?" Clad in black wranglers and a long white sleeve button up guardian's shirt tucked in, I swallowed nervously. The plan was to get in and get out not take on all of court. I hadn't thought much past the point of collecting the files and yet here we were. With his stake drawn in his right hand and his left clutching a paper back western novel._

"_Dimitri." I hissed in a low menacing growl. "I could say the same was true about you. Hello Levent why don't you join us." I roared out as I saw him standing behind Dimitri in the doorway.  
><em>


	27. No Way Out!

_However Levent wasn't moving as his eyes never left my face, slowly methodically his eyes saw the glistening red eyes, making him suck in a deep breath that left him trembling. Then noticing the paleness of ashen white skin. After a few lingering seconds his eyes rested on my mouth, looking past my lips, that undeniably I smiled revealing the hidden fangs that he had been searching for causing him to step back. But Dimitri on the other hand was quick to react as he stealthily walked into the room, tossing his book aside as he started coming towards me. Knowing that I only had mili seconds to do something, anything drastic tipping the odds more favorable in my direction before the other guardians came rushing in. My foot raised onto the side of oak table kicking it with a enough force that it went careening into the wall with a whooshing sound as it splintered apart. The sound of splintering wood snapped Levent out of the fog that he had been in, when he also entered the room taking the opposite direction in which Dimitri was coming at me from._

"_What did you come in here for Rose...because I know you're not stupid...you came here for a reason." Levent asked trying to distract me from Dimitri._

"_Who are you trying to find Rose?" Dimitri questioned seeing the files that were in my hands._

"_That's not any of you're business." I snarled out, in a Strigoi run and using the walls to run off of. I back flipped until I was directly in front of Dimitri, where my feet made a heavy thud on the wooden floorboards. With the back of my hand I belted him so hard across the cheek in a bitch slap, that he went sprawling into the wall a good five feet away from me. Shaking it off he came at me right about the same time that Levent did. Pulling the chair out from under the table and shoving it with as much force and strength that I could muster it went rolling hard into Levent's direction, colliding with him._

"_Take a seat."I screeched when Levent toppled over into the chair, just as Dimitri had rushed once more into my direction the sounds of heavy padded foots steps rang out in the hallway as Styles spotted me and alerted Abe's men. Looking deeply into Dimitri eyes he stopped in mid stride, while Levent was struggling to regain his footing._

"_You want to come with me...and you'll stop any one who gets in my way." Shaking his head violent he blinked rapidly. _

"_You want to come with me...and you will stop any one that tries to prevent our escape...but we have to hurry." Dimitri eyes widen and his pupils dilated as my words of honey sunk in._

"_We have to go." Reaching over Dimitri's fingers grasped my upper arm like steel and started leading me back towards the window._

"_Rose." Levent called over my shoulder that I turned abruptly around to see him starting to stand. "Don't do this."_

"_Either you're going to let us leave or your going to kill me right here and now, the choice is yours __Gendarmerie_ _." I didn't leave any rooms for argument or dispute, as the footstep from Abe's men and the other guardian's were drawing near. The ultimatum had been issued and within seconds Levent would decide._

"_Another time." He said with a nod and walked back out into the hallway, while Dimitri helped me up into the window. "Agreed." I replied back and jumped down to the ground below. Dimitri just seconds after I had jumped had followed and as soon as my foot hit the ground, I turned sharply catching him to break his fall._

"_Which way out?" He asked as he grasp my hand and started running._

"_That way." I pointed towards the direction of the fence, hoping to hell as the alarms were being sounded that Eddie followed suit and had gotten out. The last thing I needed was to explain to Serena, that Eddie had been captured because I needed an address. Behind us I could hear the guardian's boots as they shuffled along after us with heavy panting. There heartbeats were fast and erratic as they gave chase running after us._

_Suddenly my mouth watered as their blood called out to me, that I wanted to turn around._

"_Not a good idea...if you so much as even look back, then it'll be game over." Dimitri cautioned and gripped my hand even tighter. "You can feed later. _

"_But I'm hungry now...So do what all the other Strigoi's do pick something up along the way, just not here." Dimitri reasoned, I had forgotten how well that he could read me, without me always having to tell him what was going through my mind. Growling with frustration that when we had made it towards the fence; I Grasped Dimitri by his waist, he seemed to know what was coming as I threw him towards the other side. A few seconds later my body coiled and made a running leap into the fence. Hand over hand I climb up the cold metal chain link, just as I had jumped towards the ground and turned around Eddie was beat feeting it towards me. Throwing all his massive body weight forwards he landed just a few inches besides me. I had to hand it to Eddie he made a graceful appearance._

"_What the hell is he doing here?" Eddie asked jabbing his finger into Dimitri's chest, opening the car door and sliding into the front seat, Dimitri followed my lead and opened the back. I wasn't in the mood, dammit I was just to hungry._

"_He's here because I invited him...something to do with old debts remember? Now get in unless you want the guardian's to catch us._

_Know sooner were the words spoken headlights and squealing tires started passing through the gates that I growled in annoyance, Eddie climbed in and peeled away from along side of the fence._

"_He's one of them Rose...he's a guardian, he can't be trusted, he'll kill one of us the first chance that he gets...If that was true Castile then why haven't I staked you already?" Dimitri drawled out as his hand clutched the stake even tighter making Eddie glare at him from the mirror. "Because I would bled you dry the second you tried."_

_Sitting back in his seat Dimitri looked out the dash window paying particular attention to the road signs that we were passing. The guardian in him was in full alert looking at all possible ways to assist anyone that may come looking for us or anyone who would use spirit to contact him in his sleep. Turning sharply around in my seat and leaning over the seat rest and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, his rich brown eyes narrowed on me looking unflinchingly back as his hand gripped the stake even harder. _

"_You don't know where you are...you wasn't able to see any of the road signs or buildings that we passed...We're just a few miles outside of court Rose. I know exactly where I am." Dimitri replied putting his other hand around my wrist._

"_No you don't... I purred out in a soft lingering voice that made Dimitri shake his head. "You have never been on this route before, nothing looks familiar...you're not even sure if you're still in Montana anymore. We've been driving for hours." His eyes widen and slowly glazed over while his body relaxed in my grip, the look on his face he seemed displaced and lost. _

"_Now just sit back in your seat and enjoy the ride." Blinking rapidly Dimitri pulled away from me and shifted in his seat looking more comfortable then he had just moments before. _

"_Oooh gee now I feel suddenly safe." Eddie sneered out. "Are you going to make him lose that thing?" He asked jerking his thumb in the direction of the stake that he saw in the mirror. _

"_No." I replied very thoughtful that a slow moving smile spread across my face as an idea hit me."In fact Dimitri is to keep it, along with any other weapon that he wants." Just as we passed McDonald's my mouth watered again, the scent of blood floated in the air, from all the customers that were parked in the parking lot and those going inside the restaurant and from those coming out. It had been way to long since I had fed, and the scent of blood was driving my hunger to almost to a desperation level._

"_Pull in there." I pointed out towards the parking lot, unable to take it a second longer._

"_Fast food?" Eddie asked with a renewing smile and interests, as he spotted a group of teenagers hanging over a convertible that was parked a few rows down. He was particularly interested in a dark brunette Moroi female. She wore a hunter green knitted sweater that brought out the soft chocolate of her eyes, along with a pair of black faded skinny jeans. Here I had thought Eddie was into blondes, clearly I was wrong._

"_Yeah it was Dimitri idea the whole takeout thing." I replied back, making Dimitri jerk his head up at hearing his name. _

"_When was the last time that you ate comrade?" Dimitri blanched from hearing his old nick name and cleared his throat as though he was having trouble speaking. Then again maybe he just felt sick knowing that Eddie and I were about to feed. _

_Signing with disgust and with a revolting look he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know...why...Because you need to keep your strength up." I replied cutting him off. "They say good health is the key to everything, so go inside and get yourself something... I know I am." _

_Grasping the door handle, the cold icy laughter poured out me and even Eddie snickered just before he disappeared from sight. However my attention was on the many human's, Dhampir's and Moroi's, when I heard the passenger door close behind me. Licking my lips thirstily and peering deeply at the various different people. I anxiously scanned the crowd which one, which one my head screamed out until finally spotting the happy couple, that were walking away from the restaurant. _

_Mmmm diner time I thought amusingly after we passed a few blocks, the street lamps were growing fewer and far in between casting the happy couple into the shadows, when I made my move. With a hard whack to the back of the human male's head he staggered and fell forwards when his wife turned around and saw me. Instantly she took off running bolting as though her life depended on it and merrily I gave chase. With my Strigoi speed she didn't get far when I jumped onto her back tackling her to the ground._

_ Hell she didn't even put up much of a fight, as we rolled around on the dirt and dust on the blacken pavement. By the time that we had stopped rolling my fangs were already attached in her neck. Her life giving blood, the very much needed essence of life rushed into the back of my throat as I gorged myself. Feeling her life flowing into me as the vital organ of her heart slowly pulsed one beat at a time._

_When I was through I sat up and went back to the husband, who was still very much out of it, it didn't take long to drain him as I had her. With my hunger satisfied I walk back towards the car, licking the blood that had dribbled down on my chin, when I saw both Eddie and Dimitri. Rolling my eyes I knew this wasn't going to be pretty, as I came to stand between the two. Dimitri had his stake drawn and was posed in a fighting stance. While Eddie had pinned his one arm against the passenger window and his other fist in mid air as though he was going to clock him a good one. Groaning inward and grabbing his fist before he could hit Dimitri, my eyes shifted on him stopping the attack from going any further. _

"_Come on Rose if your going to keep a pet then at least share...I mean really what the hell is wrong about one little bite, it's not like I was going to drain him." Dimitri was growing angrier by the second being referred to as a pet and looked as though he would stake Eddie a thousand times, before he would let that happen._

_I'm nobodies pet...least of all yours and if you pull that stunt again not even Rose will stop me from staking you." Dimitri roared out. With what I saw flashing in his eyes I believed him._

"_He's right Eddie, he's not my pet but rather my guest, and if you go after him again... I'll let Dimitri end you." I snarled out pushing my way towards the car. The rest of the ride home was in silence several times Eddie glared at me letting a rumbling growl vibrate off his chest. Dimitri on the other hand despite his growing drowsiness remained alert and ever so watchful as Eddie pulled up towards the garage. I should have known that Serena would be waiting for me when we arrived, Her sleek raven hair was braided down to her shoulders, her hands neatly folded in front of her as she stood facing us as with exited the car one at a time._

"_Rose brought a pet." Eddie growled out pointing his finger in Dimitri's direction whose nostrils flared._

"_Or maybe a gift." Serena explained, noticing that he hadn't been awakened, moved forward to look him over with assessing eyes as she circled around him._

"_No...he's mine." I growled taking a protective posture, separating Dimitri from her, which caused Serena to blink rapidly, bringing her glittering eyes to glare back at me. "Nobody lays a single fang, claw or anything on him or they'll deal with me." I hissed back._

"_So you want him for yourself, fine." She snapped back challenging. "Just make sure he doesn't become a problem...otherwise you'll be the one with a problem."_

"_I have one other request." I mumbled out knowing I was pushing it."I need a Moroi one that can heal, and ummm some commonly used guardian's weapons._

"_That's is a big request." She said glancing in Dimitri's direction then looking back at me again. "I'll send Anita to you at once...she needs to be able to heal." I replied smugly knowing that he was watching me. I could feel his eyes traveling over me as understanding was dawning in on him._

"_Anita has many talents, that will suit your needs...call her your own private housekeeper with gifts._

_"Thank you." I replied deep in thought. "But Rose I expect you and Eddie to join me tomorrow night...I have some of my own business to attend." Nodding my head and turning to the front door, both Eddie and Dimitri started following me into the house._

"_Rose one more thing." Serena called out that I turned back around and faced her. "Just make sure you keep him under a tight leash...I would hate for him to suffer from an accident." While Serena was tolerating Dimitri's presence, she wouldn't guarantee his safety, then again neither would I._

_Eddie's shoulder hit Dimitri arm as he briskly brushed past him stomping into the house. "I'm taking a shower." He said circling his finger around Dimitri and I "While you two do... whatever it is that you do." He called out disappearing into the bathroom, a few seconds later the sound of running water filled the bathroom._

"_Is there anything you need...there um food in the cabinets and um...I thought for a second how strangely it was that we were almost having a similar conversation like the one that we had from Russia. "I'll have Anita pick you up some westerns, I know how much you like them...Is this the part where you turn me into your blood whore?" Dimitri asked softly cutting me off._

_Snorting from the bitter memory, I walked slowly towards him. Grasping both of his hands into mine and laying them on my hips, then moving them slowly up and down suggestively. Dimitri brown eyes darken from heighten awareness of the very close contact, that I lightly chuckled almost in a whisper as I pressed even closer into him. My chest was pressed tightly up against his. Dimitri breath hitched and his fingers abated into my hips, then raised touching and stroking my arms. Where one of his hands raised to curl around one of the fallen strands in my hair._

_Letting my lips glide slowly across his, Dimitri's warm breath fanned out around my face as he pulled me tightly, almost roughly against him. Moaning softly in his throat as his hands crushed me towards him even more. Eagerly my mouth opened under his, and he took the advantage as his tongue swept into mine. Fire and ice rage between us, that I growled out hungrily needing, wanting, craving even more. Static electricity flowed between us, that my nails dug into the cotton material of his shirt. Lustfully my hands slid under his shirt touching, squeezing the harden muscles in his back from years of hard work and training. His heart hammered wildly against my chest and he strained even closer._

_ When I lifted my head from his, Dimitri's eyes opened and those rich chocolates showed all the passion and love within them. Taking my hands from his back and sliding them up his chest inching their way forward over the smooth fabric of his shirt. They curled lightly along the taunt corded muscles of his throat, feeling the wild pulsating throbbing under my fingertips. Then closing, squeezing until Dimitri tried pushing me away, with both of his hands they wrapped around my wrist, loudly I began laughing as his face started turning a brilliance of several shades of red._

"_No comrade this is where we see if you hesitate." I snarled back into his face_.


	28. Not Holding Back

_The more Dimitri kicked and bucked under my strangling hold, the more pathetic that he looked. Why I had ever looked up to such a weakling in the first place was beyond me, he wasn't a god as I had once thought. Shaking my head with utter disgust I dropped him, when I heard the knocking on the door. Dimitri crawled backwards pressing his back right up against the wall, being ever so mindful of sneak attacks that might come at him. His massive chest was heaving rapidly rising then falling and rising again, as his starved lungs sucked back in the oxygen, when I swung open the doors. The little petite Moroi, that looked back at me had Spanish descent written all over her. Her skin was naturally golden, bronzed in her lavender blouse. Large gentle olive brown eyes unflinchingly held my gaze. The soft rustling gentle curls tumbled in and around her neck and shoulders framing her face giving her a tranquil appearance. She looked as though she was in her mid twenties, maybe just maybe her early thirties, however I doubted that. When she moved slightly forward those little curls slightly bounced._

_"I was sent by __señora Serena. I am your housekeeper Anita." She said bowing her head gracefully towards me, in her arms bundled up in a thick woven blanket was the second part of my request. Guardian weapons, with a knowing chilling smile stretching over my lips. I moved to the side allowing her entrance. "Where should I put theses?" She asked as I closed the door behind her._

"_Over there on the table." I pointed out in the kitchenette._

"_And him?" Does he need fixing?" Shaking my head no, the fun hadn't started yet. Hell that wasn't even a decent warm up. _

"_No. However he will get hungry later on and he must." I replied smiling back towards him. "Keep his strength up._

"_Rose what are you doing?" He wheezed out and coughed a few times before standing upright. It was then and only then did I decide to let the cat out of the bag. Moving towards the other side of the table. I wanted to see his face when I told him. I wanted to see the look in his eyes, when the meaning sunk in._

"_What's am I doing?" I snorted out and flung the blanket aside, revealing some guardian's stakes, running my fingers lightly over them. I hissed back as the power infused spirit crackled and burned my skin that I jerked my hand quickly away. Proving to Dimitri they were in fact the real deal. Also on the blanket laid two Sia's, one heavy looking sword and a couple of Kindo sticks. Along with two revolver hand guns, slowly waving my hand over them, levelly I met his brown questioning eyes._

"_All of these are yours, including the stake you carry...I still don't understand." He asked looking more and more puzzled by the moment._

"_The rules are very simple...no compulsion...to hinder your natural abilities...other then to hide our location, your not anyone's blood whore and no one will awaken you. It's just one on one. You against me. Guardian to Strigoi. _

""_I still don't understand. You want to fight me?" He asked his voice rising an octave higher, as his eyes flashed with something that were unreadable in them._

"_You misunderstand me comrade...I don't want to fight you. The rules are quite simple, it's kill or be killed, from here on out._

"_I won't fight you Rose...you can't." Dimitri's hand violently shook no. Hitting the table hard enough to where one of the stakes rolled and started falling. My quick keen Strigoi reflexes kicked in as it fell on top of my shoe. And just as fast I spun wildly kicking the stake away from me, sending it hurdling hard into the air, where it lodged a hairs breath into the drywall from his head. Dimitri eyes widen in shock._

"_You act like I'm giving you a choice!" Snapping my eyes back to Anita and directing her to make dinner for Dimitri. I picked up the files heading off towards my room. "You can sleep in here with me or out there, wherever you chose, I don't care. This isn't Siberia, I won't bite._

_I went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed, skimming my hand over the files separating Lissa's file, from Jill's and the prized sought after file Serena's. Barely unable to control my enthusiasm as to who she was, and flicking the folder open my eyes drifted on her picture.  
><em>

"_It seemed that Serena Gurevich had grown up in New York. Her mother Abigail was a renowned famous ballerina dancer who had appeared numerous times at the more accredited theaters and performed in Juilliard of the Performing Arts. She was one of the best dancer of her time, however after nineteen ninety seven, there wasn't anymore information regarding Abigail. It was as though she just fell off the map. She hadn't been seen or heard from since.  
><em>

_Jill Mastrano mother also shared a similar trait to Serena. Her mother was also a ballerina, granted__ she had never had hit the big times the way Abigail had. She too was a dancer mostly from Vegas and stripped clubs. How could the too ever be connected much less ever have anything in common? But the two had the same professions.. Snapping the files closed I was just as lost as I had been when I had first opened them, none of this shit made any since. _

_Sage on the other hand was an easier problem to sort through. She lived in Utah, so finding her wouldn't pose any major difficulties. If anyone could figure out who these girls were and have the resources to do so, would be Sage. With her connections to my old man, she could give me the leads that I needed in solving this mystery. I knew she would help, then again maybe she wouldn't, not with me being what I was. She lived with both her mother and father and had two sister's named Zoe and Carly. If anything I could always use them for leverage if I had too._

_When I closed my eyes, my mind scattered into a thick murkiness of unrestfull sleep. Okay fine I didn't really sleep but my mind drifted from me, my body relaxed coming as close to shutting down as it had done when I was Dhampir. The bed springs squeaked as I felt Dimitri's weight shift onto the other side of the bed, while he quietly climbed in beside me as though he might disturb me, without saying a word. I laid there in silence letting the hours tick by as I heard the clock on the nightstand slowly tick tock away, one second at a time. Rolling over and propping my chin on my hand I watched as his chest rise and fall__ while he slept._

"_What are you thinking about?" He asked so quietly that I blinked several times then noticing that he was also watching me._

"_Utah...I need to go to Utah."_

_What's in Utah.?" He asked sounding puzzled_

"_I need to find Sydney Sage." Turning on the small lamp, Dimitri rolled more up into bed. Opening the small drawers of the nightstand. I pulled out the files and showed them to him, thinking that two brains in this matter might be better then one. Then explained in full detail Serena's unusual interests in Lissa and the bizarre connection that I had with jail bait. _

"_So you somehow manage to slip under Serena's radar. Then what?_

"_I already told you." I growled out in annoyance. "I will go to Utah."_

"_Your not thinking it through Rose...your a Strigoi now...your different._

"_I knew I shouldn't have told you." I grumbled out then started picking up the files and placing them back into the nightstand drawers._

"_That's not what I meant and you know it." Dimitri snapped out. "Where will you stay when the sun is out, now that you don't have any allies or better yet, do you have any money?"_

_Shaking my head no and lowering my eyes. I was trying to figure where he was going with all of this and what Dimitri's hidden agenda was, other then trying to stay alive. Maybe that was it, maybe he just wanted me to let him live. Not that I would._

_"You made it out on your own, I could do the same." I challenged back...I also had help...Galina was there for me, where you on the other hand don't have anyone...you're what we call a rogue Strigoi.. Besides me leaving court was the only way that I could ensure yours and Liss's safety." He added more quietly, gnashing my teeth together over hearing him call her that. I rolled over swiftly grabbing a hold of his collar and brought him face to face towards me. _

"_Call her by any other fucking name than that." I growled low and hard against him. "Lissa, princess, or even Vasilisa, but do not in my presence call her Liss or I rip your fucking tongue out." Shoving him back against the headboard and leaving to go into the kitchen. I needed to get some very much needed space from Dimitri, before I killed him right then and there. It would have been so easy, but yet Dimitri had a point. Maybe there was some usefulness about him after all. _

"_I'm sorry." He said standing in the doorway of the bedroom. "I didn't think."_

"_No you didn't...then again you never do and you have the gulls to talk about me not thinking things through." I snorted _

"_Then let me make it up to you...let me help you track down Sydney...and afterwords do whatever._

"_What if I want my fun now?" I asked slowly then turning around to face him. However with it just being the two of us, it wasn't as near as much fun as it could be, we needed Lissa to make this even better. I wanted her to bare witness to this new little game of mine. The one that Dimitri was going to play with me._

"_Then I would ask you to exercise some restraint and control." He added sounding suddenly wise and noble, like he had back at the academy when he used the same voice as my mentor. _

"_Pick." I circled at the table with my fingernail directing him._

_What now?" He asked_

"_Of course." I shrugged my shoulders. "Why?.. Can you think of a better time?" I could feel her like she was a little parasite, right there in the back of my mind. Wiggling her way deeper into my subconsciousness. "Rose whatever your doing stop, this is madness."_

"_Ahhh sis you haven't seen nothing yet, I wanted you to see a little game that me and lover boy are about to play." Lissa annoying voice was getting louder and louder as Dimitri nodded his head in acceptance and grasped the kindo sticks into his hand, then tossing me one at the same time._

" _I'm surprise...as to why you chose the least deadly out of the bunch?" I asked cocking my head to the side._

"_You forget I still have my stake." Dimitri replied drily,looking down and seeing it sheath at his waist a cold smile eased it way across my lips._

"_What's going on?" Eddie asked popping his head out of the bedroom door quickly taking in the situation and putting it all together. "If he kills you then can I have him?" He asked licking his lips thirstily._

"_No...if I'm dead then he's earned his freedom...yeah, yeah we'll see about that." Eddie mumbled back. _

_Glancing towards the window seeing the sun was up, we were going to have to do this inside. Without wasting anymore time my hand flung the table aside. It pitched forward smashing into the wall, the table leaf of the table fractured and splinted as the wooden fragments fell. The remaining weapons flew up into the air then spilled downwards onto the ground. With growling battle cry springing out of my mouth I tore after him striking his kindo stick hard with mine. The vibrations shot down radiating into my hands, from the speed and efficiency of Dimitri blocking. _

_Before I could recover he threw his body weight into the block knocking me backwards, then swung the kindo stick rapidly aiming for my head. I grunted when sharp pain exploded along my ear and temple. Maybe it was a natural reaction from being hit. Just as lightening fast, his stick swept under my feet knocking them out from under me. Hand over hand Dimitri twirled the kindo stick, like a karate master around me then using the front, he lunged to jab it at my face. Rolling quickly out from under his strike and back flipping to my feet, my kindo stick rolled under my foot. Kicking it high up into the air and dodging his at the same time from making contact to my face. I caught mine and slammed the side of it into his chest. I could see the pain explode and ripple over him, but he was shaking it off, the same that I had and came towards me again. _

"_What are you going to do if you kill him Rose?...Just stop for a damn second and think." Lissa cried out when I blocked the next thrust and jab from Dimitri._

"_Oh I don't know maybe go out and celebrate drinking a few Dhampir's dry in his honor." The thought made me laugh and Eddie watched me nervously._

"_Get your head back into the game Hathaway." Eddie shrieked out as Dimitri's kindo connected into my back slamming me forward into the living room. Where I tripped over the couch and slammed face first into the wall, knocking the curtains down in the process. A ray of sunlight hit my hand and side of my face and an unruly scream echoed filled the living room, when I pushed myself away from the wall. Blocking the next jab and lunge, I glared glowingly back at him and hissed, again he went for my head and used his kindo stick as the distraction. In the next move he briefly used it as a poll, kicking me hard into the stomach, knocking me backwards until once again, I landed on the floor. Dimitri jumped quickly on me pinning my waist and hips down as he straddled over top of me._

"_You want this to be a kill or be killed scenario, then here's a taste of what it feels like." He shouted down into my face. With his stake drawn and slamming it with everything that he had deeply into my chest an agonizing howl rip through me. Dimitri had deliberately missed my heart. While I laid beneath him gasping, I drove my claws just as deeply into Dimitri's stomach. Jerking my claws upwards into the cavity of his chest. I felt more closer to him in that single moment then I ever had, feeling his life giving blood, the warmth of it as it spurted and sprayed out, drenching my hand. Pain in the likes of which I had never ever experienced engulfed me as I shoved Dimitri's body of off me. My whole chest felt as though it was on fire and Eddie rushed forward towards me._

"_Get Anita... Have her heal him." I gasped out in a choked whisper as I pulled the stake out. Dropping to my knee's and face planting my face into the rug, for the first time since I had been awakened everything went pitch black. _

"_Rose...hey Rose talk to me." Lissa said softly, she was still there trapped and locked in the back corner of my mind seeing and hearing everything. "Tell me what's happening."_

_"Go away you annoying little pest." I replied back, throwing up the mental barriers and kicking Lissa out of my head. I struggled to pull myself out of the darkness that I was in.  
><em>

_When I opened my eyes Dimitri was sitting on the bed next to me and I blinked rapidly to make my eyes quit blurring._

"_Spirit, it does that too you or have you forgotten what it does to Moroi's and Strigoi's?" It saps everything right out from you, it's why Moroi's can't touch it...fine." I croaked out still feeling really sore from where he staked me, in a weird kind of way a since of pride was there and a part me was glad that he had done it. _

_"Just skip the whole Moroi...stake history lesson." I replied pushing myself up, I wasn't a sick kid, or a wounded fragile Dhampir. I was a Strigoi, if anything my pride and ego was getting to me. I let this... this...Dhampir stake me._

"_Have you made a decision about Utah?"_

"_Actually I have." I admitted and raised my eyes to meet his. Dimitri had changed clothes, there was know telling how long I had been out as he was wearing stoned washed jeans and a hunter green short sleeve muscle tee shirt. The kind of thing Eddie would wear._

"_Call Abe up and make the necessary arrangements...and Dimitri if you double cross me or set me up, that little warm up that we had...well next time I won't hold back. _


	29. Projectile Bullets

_Pushing the blankets down and standing up, Dimitri watched me as I went towards the dresser, and pulled out a dark navy blue halter top and a pair of faded glory skinny jeans._

"_You were holding back? He asked almost sounding arrogant, as though he didn't believe me, then giving me one of his half smiles._

" _You tell me." I threw out over my shoulder heading towards the bathroom. Turning back around and laying my hand on his chest, Dimitri sucked in a deep breath as I stopped him at the doorway from following me inside. Under my hand I could feel the gentle throbbing of his heart, the warmth of his body seeping into my fingertips. I pulled it away and slipped inside the bathroom, leaving the door open by a crack. "Both you and Levent trained me and now I'm a Strigoi. Do you honestly think that I wasn't?" When I turned the water faucet on, Dimitri pressed his back against the wall of the hallway as though he was standing guard or something. "By the way make sure you take whatever weapons that you may need...Serena's outing." He said finishing my sentence for me._

"_I don't trust her so where ever I go..._

"_You want me to go." He replied summing it all up. "It's that whole accident thing that's not sitting well with you, isn't it? When I didn't reply he must of taken that as a yes and disappeared from the door letting me enjoy the rest of my shower in peace. When finished I glanced at my reflection in the mirror seeing where the stake nailed me. The damn thing was taking it's sweet time healing. The hole itself was blacken and ash in color and looked deep and sunken in, very odd for a Dhampir to have. At least Dimitri and I were now finally even, even if he didn't understand what was happening or learning the lessons that I was trying to teach. _

_At least he knew what I had felt when I had to staked him, when I had thought that he had died. For a split second did he think the same had happen to me? Probably not which is too bad, because that was also how I felt when I had walked in on him and Lissa. Their lies, their betrayals was just like a staking, Dimitri knew all to well what that felt like. He knew all the thoughts that I had , the indecision's, the hesitation and lastly regret, he was going through all of it now, just as once as I had. Dimitri was being forced to wear my old shoes, and to think that I had to staked him twice. _

_Closing my eyes; I knew that I couldn't allow him to do it a second time, when this hurt to damn much. As I traced the thinnest layer of skin covering it, I had hoped that it wouldn't heal all the way through as I wanted the scar for my reminder. I could never trust Dimitri...not ever again. Quickly throwing the halter top on and covering the ugly wound. I pulled my hair back watching my eyes glittered back at me._

"_Your creepy stalkers back." Eddie said flippantly that drew my attention from the mirror to him and the loud commotion that was going on out in the living room. "Seems they doesn't like your pet anymore then I do."_

"_They?" I asked anxiously and cocked my head in his direction, but he wasn't paying any attention to me, instead he had that goofy smirk on his face. His eyes were glued on whatever was happening in the living room._

"_Yeah. Robert, Grant and Sonya. Hearing her name my stomach dropped and, pitched and rolled forward as though someone had walked all over my grave. Because I sure as hell walked all over the love of her life's grave. I'm the one who put him six foot under. I killed Mikhail!_

_I took a bold, almost dangerous step towards him, resisting the urge to reach out and pound Eddie to oblivion. " And you left him with them?" I clenched my teeth. __He seized my arm and violently tugged me towards him, into the hallway getting everyone's attention. _

_"Get this straight and get it straight right now Hathaway... I'm nobody's baby sister... least of all his." Eddie thumbed out casting it into Dimitri's direction. In his grating voice he just pissed me off even more, but now wasn't the time to be worrying about him. I looked suspiciously in the room over his shoulder, not at all liking the fact of how close Serena or Sonya had become with Dimitri. I had to hand it to him though surrounded in a room full of Strigoi's, he had put on a brave front, and was playing it off as though he wasn't the slightest bit intimidated. His stoic mask firmly locked into place while he eyed both Sonya and Serena seemingly at the same time, but also staying weary of Grant and Robert. Clearly outmatched and outnumber Dimitri was meticulously going over his odds, he was in fight or flight mode and he was capping off his chances for survival. _

"_So have you learned how to use them yet?"_

"_Huh?" I asked blinking rapidly then looking to see a full toothy curiously look flashing into Robert face._

"_I could teach you if you haven't...there are so many things I could teach you." He replied coldly, I had been checked out before, but the way that he was looking at me made my skin crawl. This went way beyond creepy, almost sadistic was the right word as though he would murder you in your sleep, bath in your blood and then ask you out on a date...in order to get his own little happy._

"_Teach me what?" I asked blankly._

"_Lissa's gifts." Serena purred out and the room became suddenly deathly quiet as everyone looked back at me expectantly._

"_Her compulsions, the ability to heal others...and so forth." Sonya finished_

_Rule one in Carnegie's Quadrant Surveillance Technique is to never give your enemy the upper hand. Never let him or her know everything that you have at your disposal or the number of resources that you really have during a fight. Keeping all your data and gathered intelligence out of the reach of your enemy. _

"_No." I shook my head in denial. "The... ugh... only thing so far that I have learned to do is just pull her into my head. The bond itself is one way." I replied chewing on my lip, meeting both Eddie and Dimitri's penetrating eyes. Surprisingly Eddie didn't contradict me but he did glower back at me in disapproval.  
>"That's to bad, a total shame that your shadow kiss powers haven't caught up to both mine and Robert's spirit using gifts." Sonya replied, slowly removing her claws from Dimitri shirt, he didn't twitch or even move a muscle, while she slowly sauntered her way over towards me with her hands crossed over her chest. <em>

"_No matter." Grant said breaking the tension. "It won't affect our plans...what plans?" I asked despite my better judgment._

"_That would be telling and since I'm not convinced where your loyalties lies just yet, you'll just have to find out." Serena explained as she patted Dimitri on the shoulders, as though she was handling a pet. Pulling herself away from Dimitri, as though her movement and her actions of doing so were a silent message were being giving._

_Grant rose from his spot on the couch while Sonya held the door open for everyone. Robert gave me a leering broad smile as he was the first to slid by me going out the door and into the shadows. Turning back towards my room, Serena was quick on my heels. God I hoped and prayed she wouldn't follow me in here, grasping my jacket and hastily grabbing the files. I tucked them under the back of my halter top and quickly flung my coat over myself. _

"_Forgetting something?" I didn't miss the note of sarcasm dripping in her voice as I smooth my jacket over me. While Serena looked curiously around the room, lifting up magazines and tossing them back on the dresser, then peering into the closet. God what the hell was she looking for? Serena couldn't have known about the files...could she?_

"_Just my jacket and my pet. One can't be to careful when it comes to accidents." I replied and leaned over grabbing a coat for Dimitri. "Ready or are you still more interested in searching my room?" I scoffed loudly and walked back out into the living room._

"_Here you'll be needing this." I replied out as I threw Dimitri the coat and stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets walking out of the house._

_Outside parked in the driveway were two blackened Tacoma SUV'S. Already loaded up in the first one were Grant, Robert and Eddie. In the last one both Dimitri and I were loaded in the back seats, with Sony and Serena sitting up front. I guess that Serena didn't trust me as far as she could see me, and saying that about a Strigoi was saying allot. When I climbed in and took a seat next to Dimitri he gave me one of those questioning looks that I just shrugged my shoulders in response. We would soon find out where we were going. To say that Serena was playing this little secret of hers close to the chest was obvious as we spent the next several hours in silence. The only things that did keep changing were the scenery and buildings that we passed. Along with the tress that towered along side of the road disappearing from sight one treetop at a time. Lissa's emotions were also disconcerting they were all over the place as she kept trying to block me. Whatever she was up to was big, very big but it would have to wait. I couldn't very well crawl inside her head with Serena watching my every move. The next little sleepy town that we came to was a tourist town called Whitefish Montana. A long rectangular log rustic building came into view. It looked like on of those fancy ski resorts cabins that the academy had once taken us to when I had been in school. However this wasn't a resort but rather a train station bearing the name Whitefish Depot. _

_The white fluffy snow covered the ground loosely, looking more of an iciness of a first winter frost. The blades of grass had lost it luster of greenness and crackled when we stepped on them from leaving the SUV, even the black pavement was covered. The blowing wind had Dimitri pulling up his collar and his breath coming out in small puffs of white smoke._

"_What the hell is going on here?" Dimitri yelled breaking off the stale mate that seemed to be going on."Because I'm not taking another step further until somebody tells me." Serena lifting her eyebrow at me in agitation. "What did I tell you about controlling your pet hmm? She asked when she pulled out the gloves that were crammed into her pockets and started putting them on._

_I wanted to kill him in that split second when I walked over and roughly jerked his arm forcing him to follow me or break his arm for just being stubborn. "What the hell are you trying to do? Get yourself killed...answers that what I'm trying to get or don't you think you have a right to know what the hell your walking into?" Dimitri asked sounding condescending. "Don't you think you have a right to know what both you and Eddie are up against?" He took a step forward his dark brown eyes locking with mine and for a minute the briefest of minutes he was right. But questioning Serena like he had, being out numbered and alone that just wasn't smart it was just stupid. _

"_For right now just wing it and play along, Serena needs to believe that my loyalties are with her and you're not helping anybody by making me look foolish." I kept my voice low and coolly detached so that we wouldn't be over heard but with Strigoi hearing anything was possible. "If and when the time comes just be ready." I whispered as I leaned over towards his ear._

"_Lovers." Eddie snickered out drawing Serena's attention "That what I heard back at court but you don't even know the half of it." He laughed out loudly when he jumped out of the SUV along with Grant and Robert._

_Letting go of Dimitri's sleeve and walking back towards the others Serena was busy talking with Grant, while Sonya seemed to be waiting for her by standing beside Robert. Ugh the man gave me chills I thought numbly as I stood beside them both. Dimitri wander over towards Eddie staying fully alert and not taking his eyes off of Grant and Serena. Great he's going to do something stupid like try and play guardian._

"_Rose, you, Eddie and...and your pet." She gestured with her hand. "Are with me, the rest of you are with Grant." The lonesome cry of the train whistle was blowing in the distance, several miles away yet a train was coming. The louder that whistle blew the more unsettling Lissa emotions were getting._

"_Right on time." Serena said, tilting her head slightly so that checked her watch on her wrist a final time. _

_While Dimitri and I followed her, she lead us towards the back of the train station directly towards the train tracks, that seemed to splinter off in every direction imaginable. Dimitri was in a full run keeping up with both Serena and I, when the first train came rustling by us. The ground vibrated as the train was slowly slowing down when another train to the far west of us was also barreling towards us. They always say when you die you see a bright tunnel of light coming towards you, and as majestic as this blinding circular light was, it was hardly the lights of either heaven or hell as the powerful locomotion let out a screeching drawn out whistle. The tracks themselves vibrated and hummed with vigorous life as several tons of metal and steel raced along them at a phenomenal speeds._

"_Can he jump?" Serena yelled out, within a blink of an eye she ran along side of the various box cars and when she neared the tail end of the caboose, she jumped in. Just as soon as Dimitri heard her asking the question we both jotted quickly, running along side of the carts grabbing my hand Dimitri was shaking his head. "We'll never make it." He pointed out, Serena had waited to long to tell us what her plans were. Maybe that was the goal all along to separate us from each other, she knew I would never leave Dimitri behind. Earnestly we both began looking for an open box car, or a ladder leading towards the roof of the train. With everything that Dimitri had, he ran along side of the carts as they continued to race on by. Spotting the one that was sealed off but had a ladder in between the two carts, he took off letting go of my hand and running towards it. His powerful legs leaped into the air slamming his chest hard into the metal framing of the ladder making him shudder in pain from the impact. Taking my cue from him I doggedly chased after the same box car, feeling the rush of adrenaline or animated life coursing through my veins. The wind that seemed to be on either sides of me, from the fast running train, whipping through my hair as I jumped closing off the remaining distance and landing on the other side of him. Both of our stomachs were tightly pressed against the metal steel sides of the ladder, when Dimitri started climbing upwards towards the roof. Hand over hand I steadily climbed upwards behind him, as I watched him make it towards the top. I sucked in a pissed off deep breath. If he fell off, I would kill Serena. Plain and simple Dimitri's life was mine to take not hers. _

_When I had made it to the last step up, Dimitri reached down and grab my hand pulling me up to help steady my balance from the high rapid winds that were pummeling and forcing us backwards. Almost in a half crouch we walked briskly forwards always being weary of our footing, we jumped one cart then another until we got towards the back section of the caboose when I caught sight of her standing all nice and secure at the bloody fucking railing. Growling with rage the vibrations resonated deeply off my chest, with a primal animalistic roar, I jumped down into the secure cargo area of the caboose, leaving Dimitri to climb down._

"_Took you long enough...you could have killed him." I growled out indignantly and shoved her backwards, with enough force that I didn't care if she fell overboard or not. Serena straightened up, returning my own little smirk, however hers turned even colder, even crueler and more spiteful, then I thought was possible._

"_Yes well your not here for me...but what you are here for is in there." She pointed towards the cabin walls of the caboose. "You can't have us both." She sneered out as she turned ripping the doors off of the hinges then sending it sailing over the railings. "Besides Rosemarie your not strong enough for me yet...you haven't feasted on a Moroi...and Moroi's is what make us stronger." I finished out loud agreeing more to myself then to her. _

"_I won't let you kill our own kind." Dimitri said adamantly and grabbing a hold of my upper arm shaking me with enough force, that I jerked my arm away from him. "You might not have a choice." I hissed back. _

_Again sensations of dread began filling me, they were Lissa's feelings as I entered the cabin. In neat little rows of gaudy brown plaid and yellowing stripping, were benches to both the left and the right of us. Both Dhampir's and Moroi's sat side by side as we past through the isles. The hunter green curtains hung parted over the windows midway with dining tables neatly centered in front of them. I followed Serena towards the back coaches of the cars. One door would slide open taking us into the more prominent seating sections of the cars. Where everything spelled luxury and finesse, right down to the leather seats that reclined back and the private sleeping compartments, the further that I walked strangely the closer I felt to Lissa. Just as Serena wrapped her hands around the doorknob of the sleeping cabin, I already knew who would be on the other side. _

"_Lissa." I whispered and Dimitri's head jerked upwards as my eyes met hers. What the hell was she doing here? Also in the coach was the queen, the guardian's had decided to remove them from court and I was part of the reason why. Fine I was the reason why, and at the moment I sure as hell wasn't happy about it. I wanted Lissa yes in my own time, in my own way, not like this, not with spectators and damn sure not fast or on a train. Dimitri's thoughts raced just as fast as mine had, he knew timing was everything if he wanted to save the royal families. Because he dashed away out of sight, Grant tried stopping him when he passed by him, but Dimitri charged at him like a Brahma bull that was stampeding. It happened so fast it was as though lightening had strike, without blinking an eye Dimitri's stake was out and drawn. He feign to the right with his left leg, delivering a powerful kick to Grant's chest shoving him out of the way, when his powerful arms tried trapping Dimitri. Just as soon as Grant's back careened into the box car table sets, Dimitri held his stake swiping out and jabbing for his chest cutting and slicing him to shreds but not able to bury the thing into his heart. Grant was to fast for that as he rolled up on his side kicking Dimitri in the head and he stumbled back landing on the laps of a Moroi couple. Eddie really not to sure whose side to take in all of this lunged for Grant, why he didn't go for Dimitri was beyond me. Eddie maneuvered behind him , with pounding fists of steel, bashing Grant in the back one powerful fist at a time. Quickly Eddie spun him around while Dimitri dove at him jerking Grant's hair back and swung the stake into his back. Grant howled from the continuous onslaught from the two, when Eddie efficiently thrust his hand in the center of Grant's chest and pulled out his heart, tossing the blackened organ on the ground and with the curling of his tightly pressed white lips stomped on it for good measure. _

"_So pretty...so very pretty." Suddenly, Robert was behind Lissa, grabbing hold of her arms and jerking her around so that she was facing me. When I looked at Serena she gave cryptic smile as she raised her eyebrow. "What's it going to be Rose? Me or ahhhh, dear sweet Vasilisa? When I looked back towards Robert his fangs were already descending in her neck and I heard a muffled out cry and reacted throwing my body towards both Lissa and Robert._

"_See I told you, she might look like one of us, even acts like one of us, but her guardian skills are so deeply ingrained into her that she will never be one of us. Call it a force of habit." Sonya voice echoed out in the small cabin, when my eyes darted back towards Serena both her and Sonya were gone. I was forced to deal with Robert whose lecherous fangs were already glued into Lissa neck, and thirstily drinking from her. She screamed out when I ripped her out of his arms, his fangs leaving a bloody trailing tearing marks all along the sides of her throat. As my hands dove for his neck, Lissa staggered out of the room from the affects of the endorphins. Robert was like nothing I had ever fought before as Lissa blood coursed through him, making him more powerful and stronger then before. I had thought Moroi blood having that affect on a Strigoi was merely myth...something that guardian's exaggerated over to get all young novices to work harder, train to be more fiercer, to be more dedicated to their charges. Clearly I was wrong as my fist slammed into his face not phasing him in the slightest. Using my own claws I tried gouging out his eyes. When that didn't work I threw my legs around his neck, flipping him hard back on the cabin bed and sprung at him again. My fists were whaling into the side of his face when he gripped them both and head bunted me in the face. It was like having a mega ton explosion going off in the back of my skull, when I bolted at him again..Then the unexpected happened the train pitched forward slamming us both hard into the wall, the loud echoing booming sound of metal grinding against metal had an unholy sound of it's own. The passengers from the other cars screams of terror filled all of the coach compartments. Vaguely I was aware of feeling weightless as my body was lifted and tossed off the ground and slammed from the ceiling to the walls and back on the floors, it happened so many times that I lost count. Both Robert and I were hurled at each other like missiles against one another, when thick bellowing back smoke filled the cabin. Along with bright patches of orange and yellow flames that shot out along the interior walls. An explosion cut through the cabin, the volatile blast was so strong that I was thrown head first out of the window, along with Robert, shattering the glass like a projectile bullets hurling out of control. _


	30. I'll Be Back

_Rivets of white hot fiery flames shot through my core somewhere in the direction of my chest as I was free falling in the air. The word and meaning of gravity, know longer held any rules as my weightless body sailed out of the snow covered landscape, then coming to an abrupt stop. My back and neck cracked and splintered from the buckling pressure and weight of the magnanimous pine tree, that I was slammed into before my body came to a rolling, tumbling stop. Screeching in agony from blinding sheer white pain that I had never felt before in my life. I laid there gasping unable to move as a mixture of both metal and snowy pine covered tree bark, were lodge over most of my body impaling me._

_ Just a few feet away from me Robert laid with a half smile glazed look on his face as a tree branch was protruding in the center of his chest, black thick ooze soaked the snow covered ground beneath him as he laid lifelessly still. I knew he wasn't dead only a stake in his heart, or me playing Dora the explorer and ripping the thing out, that along with beheading could snuff out his cold heartless existence. It was only a matter of time, a waiting game before he would be up again and would return to finishing what Serena had wanted him to do, take out the last remaining Dragomir._

"_Not if I beat you to it first." I hissed out slowly, one at a time I forced my fingers to clumsily move down my chest, curling my shaky fingers around the scorching hot metal. Taking a deep breath then pulling it out slowly my body withered and trembled in response as I screamed in agony again. Blood and tears streamed down my face as I hurdled the painful object away from me then moved on to the next one. Most of the train laid half tossed from the train tracks on it's side. It reminded me of a toy model train set that had derailed, most of the cars had been broken into boxcar sets scattered every few meters. Some were flipped onto their sides while others had remained in tack with gray ash covering them with choking black billowing smoke pouring outwards from the windows or the rooftops of the cars. Others had gaping holes from were the metal framing of the cars blew outwards stripping the metal walls off of the boxcars from the blast. Bodies of the passengers littered the ground around the train and the tracks. While the train itself became fully engulfed in reddish,orange flames shooting outwards, the stench of fuel and heavy thick black smoke filled the air. Squeezing my eyes tightly shut and grasping another piece of metal, I worked frantically apparently I wasn't the only one who had made it out._

"_You're majesty both you and the princess has to keep moving." Dimitri urged as the snow covered ground crunched beneath their feet as they continued moving more towards my direction. "Your majesty stay awake focus on me." Dimitri said with a pleading voice, that made me look over towards the direction from where they were walking from._

_ When I looked over towards Robert the half glazed look on his face moments ago, making him look younger more at peace was fading even though his expression wasn't changing. His limp hands that laid sprawled out at his sides began opening and closing over the snow occasionally grasping hand fulls, then letting go just to slide them back and forth over the snow covered ground. _

"_Dimitri look it's Rose" Lissa said clutching his arm pointing towards me,as his other arm supported the queen. Dimitri's attention was divided as the queen had charred burns across her face, the melting of her flesh and hair seemed stretched across her forehead. The faint smell of blood mingled in the air stirring my senses, as hunger gnawed at the pit of my stomach. Growling feverishly as more of the wooden tree bark came out into my hands. I momentarily stopped as I felt their eyes upon me and hastily began removing more of the metal fragments._

_ Surprisingly Lissa looked as though she had survived the wreckage unscathed, compared to both Dimitri and the queen. She looked really good despite the paleness in her face from all of the blood loss. Dimitri on the other hand, looked a little out of it, the huge cut across his forehead stretched down towards his eyebrow. The slow walk in his gate suggested he was more injured then he was letting on, with the odd angle of his foot being twisted out towards the side of him, as he slowly dragged it from behind. I knew deep down he had a few broken bones._

_"Give me your stake Dimitri I can save...No." I growled out in a raspy voice. "Protect the queen...Do your duty guardian Belikov... Robert's here and he'll be getting up soon. "I snarled. Even though I could feel Lissa's compulsion running through me, we were to far away from each other for it to work on him. Dimitri being ever so mindful of his surroundings from the shrieking cries of the eagles overhead scavenging the wreckage, looked around the area minimizing the risks, weighed his options. After several tense filled minutes passed by he reached out and handed Lissa his stake and bent down into his boot and grabbed the spare that I knew would be there. However I wasn't the only one struggling to get up, the glazed look on Robert's face had harden into icy chiseled granite as the world around him came into focus. _

_"Shit he's waking up." I cried out warningly back as I fought with the last piece of impaling metal that was keeping me grounded. Robert on the hand moved swifter, faster then I and clutched the tree branch in his chest tightly with both hands, his fingertips carrying a death grip hold as he jerked and tugged freeing himself._

"_Not only awake but...still... so... hungry, and your still around to watch the show." He roared out into Lissa direction making her freeze up in fear, as her hands tightly gripped the stake. Pushing himself upward from the ground and staggering back slightly. I jerked the long sharpen metal rod from me that held me pinned down and rolled onto my side launching myself to me feet._

"_Your show has been canceled, your producers says you're just way to cute to keep around." I replied in an ominous voice, that sounded just as heartless and sadistic as his." Springing up to my feet with both of my claws out in front of me. My one hand curled into a tight knotted up fist, blood dripping off of me as I swung with everything that I had left, hitting Robert so hard that he collided face first into the tree bark behind him. Not waiting around for him to rebound out of instinct my mouth dove for his neck ripping out his jugular, then spiting out the matted piece of muscle and flesh back into his face._

_"You little bitch...you'll pay for that." Howling out in out rage, he tried stopping the blows that flew at him, as he hands swiped dangerously into the open cavity of my chest, glaring death at me by ten folds. With the same amount of speed and determination that screamed if not shouted no more, within a blink of an eye my hand clamped down on his shoulder with my other hand cradled and wrapped around the back of his neck, forcefully shoving if not hurling him towards the next tree only more closer to Lissa then I had planed._

"_After everything that they have done to you." Robert spat out as he meagerly started backing away from me. "Your...your ...going to protect them?" He asked laughing as he charged at me with a speed I could have sworn had grown, in both strength, and intensity in just the short amount of time. Robert threw his fist at me and I caught it, twisting his arm fast enough to render him useless for a second. Just to rip out another nasty morsel from the other side of his neck. Grabbing his other arm, I used them to steady myself and jumped, pounding my feet into his chest before releasing his arms. This sent him backwards back into the very same tree that moments ago he had already striped the bark from, but he caught the fall and simply came at me again, this time going for a simple punch. I blocked it, but he had anticipated that and threw his other fist, at me, successfully landing a blow at my jaw. I heard a small crack, but I paid no attention. Growling with a demonic rage from the bastard getting a hit on me. Robert smiled his cruel endearing smile, his lips flatten into mischievous grin and a wild wicked look flashed into his eyes as amusement glowed on his face._

"_No." I said cocking my head to the side. "Unlike you... I save the best for last." Grabbing the collar of his shirt and heading butting him in the face, he flew backwards and as he did so. Lissa held the stake just in time, for when Robert tried breaking his fall by turning around. Lissa stepped forward with the stake tightly gripped and posed in her hand, turning her knuckles white. Then swinging it forward with enough force the stake whistled in the air before being driven into his chest, piercing his heart. Robert howled out when the blinding white light flooded the forest, covering the whole wreckage. My eyes watered from the brightness of it as I held out my hand out shielding my eyes. _

"_No... you bitch." I screamed as the back of my hand collided on the left side of her cheek. She was so weakened from the use of spirit that she couldn't stop the blow, as it welted up leaving my hand print across her face. "Do you see what you done?" I shouted pointing towards Robert who was laying on the ground sobbing inconsolably, calling out for Victor. "Now there are two of you." I hissed angrily back._

"_Rose get control of yourself." Dimitri barked out as he sat the queen down on the ground and was moving in to separate me from Lissa. His eyes flashed warningly as his dark browns darkened even more seeing me as a threat as I closed the distance in on Lissa. But I had waited to long for a chance like this to be deterred, I wanted some of my revenge now. I wanted her blood to flow, just a small taste a voice in the back of my head snickered. Just one little taste. Dimitri must saw something on my face that told him I was no longer listening because the stake that he had been holding was quickly tossed into his other hand and I glared back hotly at him as though I was ready to reign hell down upon him. Robert had been just a warm up and all bets were now off._

"_I won't let you do this." Dimitri choked as his voice cracked on the words._

"_Are you ready to kill me now?" I asked so softly that he jumped and took on a more protective posture blocking me from going any further towards Lissa. He was issuing a challenge where I had to go through him just to get to her. _

"_If I have to...then yes...but please ….please god Roza just stop." Dimitri said holding his hand out in front of him pleadingly for the last time. But we both knew that I wasn't going to be stopped, not this time._

"_You're ready to drive that stake of yours into my heart, the same way that you made me do to you almost a year ago? On the lonely stretch of bridge where we both fought, when I couldn't escape you? I asked but the words not really coming out as a question. Dimitri looked as though he had been bitch slapped as I brought that day up. He knew which one that I was talking about and his eyes widen in surprise, then quickly filled with pain and remorse as his hand faltered holding the stake. _

_"You're ready to watch even this animated life fade from my eyes...being the hand of an avenging angel sent down to release this tortured soul... hmmm." I purred just as silently, jerkily Dimitri glanced at Lissa out of the corner of his eye, then looked over towards the queen. Love, duty and honor was being put to the test here, when his eyes locked back on my mine, I knew this time around he had made a decision. He would take my life just to save theirs, it was written all over his face. This time would be different he knew what I was capable of, Dimitri knew in his gut that I wouldn't hold back, he knew it was kill or be killed. The very same option that he had left me with when he had hunted for me in Siberia._

_Without giving me a chance, his fist came towards my face. Instinctively, I blocked it with my arms, crossing them in front of my face, with the back of my forearm and elbow. I rammed them out towards the right side of his jaw, shaking it off Dimitri hooded eyes narrowed and glared back at me._

_"You'll have to do better then that comrade." I sneered hastily and quickly dodged his attack, letting primal instincts of survival take over. His fist shot out and grazing my jaw, while the stake in his other hand grazed across my face. The melting of skin, the sizzling odor of burning flesh mingled between the two of us. But Dimitri remained focused and didn't seem impressed by his small victory. Spinning sharply towards the right and wheeling my left leg high into the air making a full body shot to Dimitri's mid section and side. He grunted loudly in pain as he swore somethings in Russian that I didn't catch, as he staggered back on his injured foot. Damn and here I wanted to beat him fair and square that little voice snickered out._

"_Rose don't do this." Lissa said jerkly as she stood to her feet, through the bond she was waiting for her chances, the little bitch was going to interfere again as she had with Robert just a few moments ago. "We can save you if...Do I look like I need saving princess, because the only one that I see that needs saving around here, sure as hell isn't me, but rather you." I shouted back as I raked my claws down the front of Dimitri's chest. In fascination I watched his shirt, change to rustic red within seconds, soaking through the soft cotton material. The smell of his blood was heady a rush all of it's own, as it spurred me on. The blood lust was starting to take hold fueling my need and desire to finish this. Just as Dimitri hobbled back, in lightening fast move his injured foot came up which I wasn't expecting as a well delivered roundhouse kick knocked me a few feet backwards but not before I heard something crack in his foot. _

"_Come on Roza what else do you have for me?" He asked stoically the fierce look of determination of bringing me down burn hotly in his eyes and he came at me again, this time his hand wrapped around my neck as I didn't move out of the way fast and enough. His knee came up power driving into my stomach over and over again connecting hard into my abs. While his free hand held the stake slamming the hilt hard into my spine. The fiery flames that shot down my core had me screeching in agony it was far worse then being impaled with the metal rod from the train. Grasping his leg with both of my hands lifting him off of the ground and throwing him hard backwards into the snow, Dimitri momentarily had the wind knock out of him as I mounted his chest. Both of my fist hailed hard into his face as his head was thrown back and forth from side to side, from the right that connect into his jaw and the left that landed below the bridge of his eye. Just as fast as he was caught off guard, he grabbed my arms pushing me back, into his awaiting legs where his strong muscular calves circled around my neck like a hangman noose and flipped me hard off of him. Before I had manged to get up his right foot shot out kicking me hard in the face shattering my nose. Growling with fury as I saw red from the attack I charged back at him. _

"_Lissa... Dimitri." A small voice called out, that for a fraction of a second distracted me that I looked back towards the wreckage of the train. Seeing my hesitation Lissa charged at me from behind and shoved the stake into my back. _

"_You bitch." I snarled and turned towards her grasping her by her throat and brought her face inches towards mine. Her emerald green eyes filled with terror looked back at me when I was hit from behind. Shoving Lissa to the ground she fell hard like a ton of bricks, when Dimitri reached up and pulled her stake out from my back. Spinning back around the back side of my fist caught on the left side of his cheek, when his hand shot out and swiped hazardously at my stomach. Lunging forward and throwing all my body weight into him, we both land and rolled in the snow as the downy soft snow flakes coated our hair. Dimitri's fists were swinging wildly when I caught his left arm, while our bodies rolled. With my right hand as our bodies slowly came to a stop, I thrusted my fingers deeply into his chest feeling his ribs crackling and buckling under the pressure. The bones splintering around in my hand as I pushed even deeper into his chest rupturing his lungs and other organs that were in the way. His warm blood encased my hand like a glove, running down my arm drenching us both as he gasped out. _

"_You see the student does surpass the teacher." I said softly looking down at him. As Dimitri laid there dying I would have expected to see rage, hate or any other emotion then what I saw in his dark brown eyes. Clearing his throat and coughing up blood, he looked back at me with love, I didn't see pity, anger, or even betrayal. Instead I only saw love, as his bloody soaked hand raised up and his fingers grazed my cheek moving the hairs._

"Ты то, что я сокровище наиболее." _(You're what I treasure most) Dimitri gasped out as he fought hard to wheeze in his next breath, his other hand slide to his jeans pant leg pocket as his other hand grasped mine and pulled it there tapping at it. Sliding my fingers into his pocket, my fingertips coiled around a cold fragile metal chain, as my hand slide back out pulling the chain out, my eyes locked with Dimitri's as I held it up in the air to look at it, then to return my gaze back to his._

"_There she is...He whispered raggedly as though it had pained him to talk. "I knew you were in there somewhere...Dimitri?" I asked blinking at him in confusion then swallowing hard as I looked back at the necklace. He had kept it all this time, it was the lust charm that Victor had used against us back at the academy the same one that I had thrown at him in the gym when we had fought. In the center of the lust charm of the rose was the ring that Oksana had giving me. He had kept both as though he had cherished them, never giving up hope._

"_Why...I don't understand ?"I said shaking my head. I couldn't believe after everything that had happened between us, that he had kept it this whole time. " Because I love you Roza...I always have." He said as the air left his blood stained lips, when I looked back at him, his eyes were staring upwards towards mine, but as his chest fell for the last time it was then and only then did I realize those beautiful eyes were know longer seeing me. He was gone, pulling my hand quickly out of his chest, he no longer held a heartbeat, as his heart had finally stopped, his lungs no longer were moving to draw air in them anymore. I held the lust charm in my hands tightly and looked down at him, feelings that I hadn't felt came pouring back all at once. Where just seconds ago I was filled with hatred and revenge, now I felt suddenly warm, full and loved something that I hadn't felt in a long time. _

_Dimitri had said that he loved me as my hand closed over the necklace even more and I had killed him. He said that he loved me my brain screamed out and I forced him to try and kill me. My body shook with tremors as tears filled my eyes and I leaned forwarded burying my head into his shoulder. The cabin, the gentle touch of his calloused hands, roaming around sliding over my skin, the passionate kiss flashed behind my eyelids. The hours and hours of training at the academy, his full laughter as we laid on the snow one time making snow angels. All it and more came rushing back, and he was gone. _

"_Rose...ohhh my god Rose...what have you done?" Lissa high pitched scream snapped me out of my resolve as I pocketed the necklace into my pants pocket feeling the coldness returning back into me._

"_Lissa...Dimitri." Jail bait Taylor screamed out._

"_Lissa... Queen __Tatiana...Dimitri?" Christian yelled out, sounding not to far behind Jill._

"_What needed to be done and now your all that's left." I replied getting up from Dimitri and stepping over his body one foot at a time. My mouth widen as the cold smile of death appeared over my face as I glared back at her with amusement flashing in my eyes. Moving gracefully towards her, she looked nervously around, there wasn't anyone to protect her much less pose as an obstacle and get in my way any more. Stalking my prey slowly she back up. _

_"I'm here Christian I'm here." She screamed as I lunged for her grasping her by the shoulders. "Don't worry princess today is not your day to die." I whispered silkily against her neck and ear as I jerked her jaw off towards the side claiming victory. My fangs dug deeply into her skin and Lissa screamed loudly again as her arms flailed uselessly at her sides. Her blood was like mother milk, as it filled my mouth rushing down the back of my throat. It was salty, with just a faint trace of sweetness to it, as I swallowed several mouthfuls. I was reminded of jail bait, there was something distinctly familiar. Lavishing every drop that flowed into me, already feeling stronger then what I had before, even stronger just from the small taste that I gotten from Jill. Stan had been right. I felt more powerful from taking full amounts of Moroi blood and the injuries that I had gotten from the train crash and the fights felt as though they were healing. Lissa fell into a stupor as the endorphins kicked in silencing her screams._

"_She's this way." I heard Christian's voice ring out._

"_It's about time." Eddie snarled as he jumped off of a tree branch down beside me. Looking over towards Dimitri he smiled sheepishly back at me his hands on his hips as he inspected my handiwork. "What do we have here?" He asked as he walked over towards the Queen. "Ugh...nothing that I would want to eat." He said lifting her head and tilting it from side to side making a face of disgust, from the sight of the burns. Apparently Queen Tatiana had slipped into unconsciousness and Robert had fled from the scene hiding like the cowardly worm that he was. Throwing Lissa down on the ground I licked the remaining blood that had dribbled down my chin off of the back of my hand._

"_What took you so long?" I growled out in annoyance that he smiled back and shoved his hands into his pockets. _

"_I got tied up going through the wreckage or did you not notice me kicking ass on the train?" Shaking my head as Christian and Jill step through the clearing their eyes locked on me and Eddie and I smiled back at them. "The queen and the princess are alive for the time being when they wake up inform them I'll be back." I called out over my shoulder. _


	31. Top Of The Food Chain

_I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord_  
><em>And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord<em>  
><em>Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord<em>

_Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand_  
><em>I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am<em>  
><em>Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes<em>  
><em>So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been<em>  
><em>It's all been a pack of lies<em>

Songwriters: COLLINS, PHIL

Phil Collins In The Air Tonight Lyrics

_Taking off in a dead run I didn't glance back when I heard Christian yelling for me. I knew that he and the princess would be alright as more and more of the guardian's would show up and find them. Passengers from the train would call emergency personal, police as well as their families, love ones, friends and bosses. It was a matter of time when Abe and his men got there. _

"_Any reason why your running or do you even have a clue as to where your going?" Eddie asked keeping up with me. Shrugging my shoulders I pushed forward even harder. We're running because soon all of court, the alchemists and anyone else and their uncles will be looking for us. Personally I don't want to stick around when the others arrive. As for where we're going yeah that's easy." I replied silently. "We're heading for Sage's place, I want to know what the hell that bitch's connection to Lissa is all about... don't you?" I asked stopping in place suddenly which made Eddie stop from a full speed run, just to turn around._

"_I suppose so, with Serena out of the way...we could claim all of her power and glory for ourselves." I explained, knowing full well that Eddie wouldn't be able to refuse claiming Serena's wealth as his own. "We could dominate her minions, taking control of much of the Strigoi empire as she had._

"_Power." Eddie smirked back and started running again zig zagging in between the trees making a full scale game out of our running, as he leap off of a treetop, then onto a branch, flipping through the air. "I can get into a whole hell of allot of power." He laughed playfully. As the scenery kept changing from densely think fog of woods to open farm land. We were steadily heading towards more populated areas, farms houses were coming into sight along with ranches. Then dirt roads which latter turned into black paved roads. With daylight rapidly approaching and breaking the horizon, Eddie and I both scanned the different abandon buildings, that we both could hideout in for the day. Choosing an abandon warehouse, we slunk back to the deepest, darkest corner of the room as the sun finally rose lightening up the sky. _

_The abandon warehouse hadn't been used in years. Broken windows on the south side of the building held a small clue the warehouse had been shut down for many years. Evidence of neighborhood kids throwing rocks or balls littered the ground, along with broken glass, as the small fragments of glass and pebbles crunched under our feet as we looked around. The faded gray paint on the walls were dingy and peeling along with the plaster. Rustic reddish brown and black mold vine it's way across the walls like cobwebs, growing and spreading upwards towards the ceiling. Collected dust and mold spores floated in the air from years of neglect, were disturbed as we moved freely around in the vacant room. The heavy turbine machinery were partially covered in newspaper and plastic, from lack of service and operation. The run down place had once been a potato plant, where some of the best french fries in Montana had ever been made along with hash browns. This broken down old factory had been the hopes and dreams for many who lived in this small town, as well as the town folks lively hood. Now closed and long forgotten abandon, it still served it's usefulness for Eddie and I as the sun rose even higher in the sky. Eddie was searching the rooms, sticking close to the shadows as he looked out the window a safe distance away, then resume exploring the rest of the factory._

"_What happened with you and your pet...I mean." He said clearing his throat and lifting a corner of the newspaper up to look at a conveyor belt, that still had a few rotted potatoes on the machine. "Sorry my bad." Eddie said lifting his eyebrow when I glared back at him. "I mean Belikov."_

_Enraged that Eddie would dare bring up Dimitri's name so callously to me like that. I wanted to smash his skull in and rattle what little brains that he had left. I jerked him forward by the collar of his shirt, so that we were at eye level from one another then just to slam him backwards into one of the belts of the conveyors. "He got in my way...pray that you don't make the same mistake as he did by bringing up his name to me ever again. Because I'll rip your fucking heart out with a spoon and feed it to you, assuming that you still have one." I snarled loudly letting the deep vibrations roll off of my chest. Belting out a pregnant breath, I released him and found a piece of shadows in one of the darkened rooms, to hide my weary thoughts from Eddie's prying eyes._

"_Hey Hathaway. Anyone ever told you that you're a bitch?" He asked sounding almost seriously that I rolled my eyes. _

"_Only my admires." Closing my eyes and taking a few more deep breaths, I opened my mind freeing up the bond and quietly slipped into Lissa head._

_Just as I had predicted local police and emergency personal responded at the crash site. Lights of red and blue flashed and flickered lighting up the foggy dense snow covered forest area. Several fire trucks were pulled up in front of the train and boxcars, while fire fighters had long water hoses running from the fire trucks to the train and boxcars dousing out the flames, with streams of water. Gurneys and stretchers filled the wooded area as rescuers were trying to save the lives of the critically injured, varying form royal Moroi's to Dhampir's. _

_"You...you didn't see her. guardian Hathaway." Lissa sobbed out wiping her face rapidly with the back of her hands. "She...she killed Dimitri right in front of me and...and I didn't do anything... I couldn't stop her..._

_Stan...Stan." My mom called out as her head bobbed back and forth as she looked over the mounting number of emergency and guardian personnel. Waving her hand up in the air, mom finally managed to get his attention as she waved him towards her. When Stan approached he eyed Lissa with understanding as he bowed his head slightly in her direction before turning his attention to my mom. Pulling out his little black note book from his pocket of his guardian jacket. Stan thumbed through the written pages, a growing list of the dead and injured were being accounted for._

"_I don't understand it." Stan said shaking his head a he fingered the pages. "I don't stand how the Strigoi's knew when and where to hits us, this was very hush hush...That's simple Stan." Alberta said joining them, with her hands clasped behind her back." One of us is working both sides. One of us is a traitor." The chiseled out expression on Alberta's face showed how much she hated the idea of anyone in the group being a traitor, as her jaw clamped down and her hands curled into tight fists at her sides she wasn't ruling anyone out either. Everyone was suspect in her book, which i couldn't have agreed with more. How did Serena learn of Lissa and the queen being on that train, when I didn't even know until it was almost to late.  
><em>

"_That's not the only problems we're having." Mom replied jutting her chin towards Lissa, Jill,and Christian direction, then moving her eyes towards the medic's who were with the queen. "We need a full armed escort for the queen and since the princesses no longer has any guardian's protecting her, new ones must be assigned immediately."_

_For a brief moment pain flickered across Alberta's face as she looked over towards Lissa. "Has anyone contacted Dimitri's family in Baia's? We need to tell them something. _

"_No not yet." Mom replied shaking her head. "but I don't want his family finding out about him from the news broadcasts, they just tend to distort all the facts...that would make the situation that much worse." She replied thoughtfully._

"_I'll make the call." Tasha said standing beside Lissa and Christian, reaching over Tasha placed a comforting hand on Lissa shoulder and squeezed gently as though through sheer will, Tasha were lending Lissa strength in that one squeeze."I've known the Belikov's for awhile now, I'm sure they'll welcome a friendly voice._

"_Thank you Mrs. _Ozera _any assistance that you could lend in this matter would greatly be appreciated." Pulling her jacket even tighter around herself, mom began walking away with both Stan and Alberta. "Now have either one of you seen Abe?...Sorry Janine but he's working on something at the moment, hammering out some last minute details." Placing her hand on mom's shoulders Alberta directed her attention by the train. " Levent and his team are over there." She said pointing out towards Debian, Styles, and __Camille._

_Marian was kneeling down and holding a piece of metal in her gloved hands, as though she was sniffing it. Looking up she handed the metal to Levent and he quickly bagged it and they both walked on looking at another section of the train. Once again Lissa felt as though she was hiding something from me as I searched the bond, the same nervousness within her seemed to be growing as though she was counting down to something. What are you up to?" I asked absently, probing her mind and retracing everyone that she had seen or spoken to, a brick wall came out as a barrier, blocking me from the secret that she was hiding. _

_"You can't hide from me forever." I told Lissa, meaning every word_

_"I don't need forever, just until we have restored your soul." Smiling wickedly back at her a large fountain sprouted in front for us. A mermaid was fighting off a Strigoi sea urchin, as the mermaids fins flapped wildly around the fountain, splashing water out, the mermaid was swimming to get away, while the Strigoi sea urchin pursued her. Damn being in Lissa head was getting scarier and scarier by the minute._

_"You should feel honored princess. Finding a Strigoi's connection to you, who absolutely hates everything about you almost as much as I do, is way more important then just killing you outright. I mean I think you've suffered enough." I replied chasing after her around the fountain just to smack some of the water hard enough that it splash on Lissa at the same time. "Serena on the other hand nahhh she has something else in mind for you...Who is Serena?" Lissa asked no longer running, but looking very much winded as her breaths were coming in deep gulps. _

_"That's what I've been trying to figure out." Shrugging my shoulder and placing my hands on my hip I kicked frustratedly at the fountain, because the thrill of the game had become suddenly boring. I waved off the spirit induced daydream, dissolving the world around us into a blackened void of Lissa's mind. Throwing up my mental barriers, I blinked rapidly letting the world and my surrounding comeback into focus, just to see Eddie perched on a rolling tumbler machine, operated by belts and pulleys that dragged the potatoes to the washing bins. He was rocking back and forth on his tip toes and heels. With his arms crossed over himself looking menacing, as he earnestly watched out the window waiting for the sun to go down._

_"So where to?" He asked as the last of the sunlight faded, bringing the world around us back into darkness. It was daytime in the Moroi world where all Moroi's would be getting up and starting their day and nighttime to the humans._

_"Utah." I replied "Only we're not running to get there."_

_"I thought I saw an old beat up pick up truck, down back that way." Eddie replied throwing his thumb towards the old farm house that we saw a few mile down the road._

_ "Race yah." I smiled and crashed through the window, the glass fragments exploded outwards as I landed the two story jump down, looking up Eddie took out the other set of remaining windows in a hailing reign of glass of his own as he landed beside me. Laughing as though we were school kids playing tag we both raced towards the direction of the farm, somersaulting in the air and back flipping off of tree's in a friendly competition of tag. We both were trying to out do the other as the farm came into sight along with the home owners who lived there. The house itself was quite impressive being two stories, painted in white with chocolate brown trim, had all the country charm and appeal that you would expect to find out in the country. The brown shutters that hung beside every window gave the windows themselves easy access. Through the parted sheer curtain that had rows of flower pots we could see the family had just sat down to have their evening meal when Eddie licked his lips hungrily. Elbowing him sharply into his side and heading over towards the truck. Eddie and I both stooped down low enough, so that we wouldn't be spotted from the windows, as we slowly open the doors of the truck and climbed in._

_The front door of the house barged open when Eddie reached under the steering wheel and ripped out the wires. "Hmm blue to red or is it yellow to blue?" He asked fitting the two wires together and twisting them, the truck roared with life. Eddie sat up laughing, hitting the steering wheel looking all to pleased with himself, when the farmer came running out of the house in his long johns toting a shotgun and taking careful aim as we sped out of the driveway, kicking up dirt and gravel as we drove by him._

_The whole night was spent in the bucket seat of the truck. Eddie had to stop several times fueling up for gas, after the third stop four hours into our trip, he quit draining the gas station clerks. Two hours latter the big sign for Utah pulled into sight when we both checked into a motel. Just a few blocks away, were several different department stores from the Gap to JC Pennies that we stop in at one, when we had finished checking ourselves into the motel. _

_Money wasn't an issue for those that we drained, we simply emptied out their pockets and took whatever we wanted and what we couldn't steal, then compulsion provided for. From clothes to jewelery and yes guns lots and lots of guns. Nine millimeter glock's to thirty yacht sixes something that we both liked. Picking up the duck tape and shoving it into the duffel bag, my eyes scanned the rest of the store aisles, then finding the other items on my mental list. Thick braided rope, check, security handcuffs, check, lots and lot of bandages and first aid kits, check._

_"I'm sorry mam... but you'll have to pay for those at the check out line." The security officer said stopping us at the door, and began going through the duffel bag seeing all the stolen goods. Lifting my empty hand for him to see I smiled and looked deeply into his eyes._

_"I did and here's my receipt." I said showing him the palm of my hand, the middle aged human male swallowed hard as the blank expression filled his face. When his crystal blue eyes glazed over he nodded and stepped out of the way. "You folks have a goodnight and sorry for the screw up." He replied and took his post back at the stores exist._

_With all of the use of compulsion that I had been using I could feel the dark powers taking it's toll on Lissa. Even with spirit darkness bubbling up inside of her, I could feel that she was still trying to hide something from me as her anxiety grew. It seemed the dear ole sis somehow figured out where Eddie and I had gone to and from what I could feel in the bond, Abe was sending reinforcements to Sage's house. However by the time he would get there it would be to late and I would have gained what I needed from Sydney and be long gone by then._

_"Trouble?" Eddie asked as he lifted his eyes from the road to study me closely, when he noticed me frowning. Rubbing my forehead that was leaned up on the glass as though I had a headache. I nodded my head yes back towards Eddie and exhaled deeply and shifted in my seat to get a better look at him._

_"Abe knows where we're heading and he's sending back up to stop us." I replied nonchalantly with a shrug from my hand. "Plus Lissa's hiding something from me and I don't what it is."_

_"Could it have something to do with Sage?" He asked pulling the truck over several blocks away from Sydney's house, that again I shrugged my shoulders. I hated not knowing the answers._

_"i don't know it could be, but somehow I think it's much... much bigger then Sage..._

_"Then I say there's only one way to find out." Eddie said sounding fierce and got out of the truck slamming his door shut._

_"They can spy on us... I think that it's only fair that we should spy on them." Eddie replied taking the lead. For once I didn't argue with him as we jumped up to the rooftop of a house, leap frogging it over and over until we had jumped onto the rooftop that was directly across the street from Sages._

_I had never been to alchemists home before as I scanned the neighborhood cautiously looking for any parked guardian patrol vehicles. They were always easy to spot similar to undercover police cars and other government officials, only ours were loaded with high frequency radio's and often times had three or more antennas. The alchemists neighborhood was the same as any Dhampir's neighborhood, most were single level homes or two stories houses. Outside were rows of tree's, that lined the city block as far as the eye could see. One or two cars filled the driveways, as though everyone was in competition in keeping up with the Jones. All of the houses were nicely painted from hunter green to deep shades of gray and brown, while other homes were canary yellow. Everyone who lived here had a style of their own and their homes reflected their many different tastes. The barking from the neighbor's dog three houses down was the same as any other neighbor's dog, loud, noisy and over all a pain in the ass._

_For the next several nights Eddie and I watched the place, quickly spotting Sydney, Zoe, Carly and Sydney's parents. The Sages had a house full, between both Eddie and myself, I knew we could handle everyone inside. Human's just didn't stand a chance against us... Strigoi's or not, they were the weaker of the species and we were at the top of the food chain. _


	32. Within You

How you turned my world, you precious thing  
>You starve and near exhaust me<br>Everything I've done, I've done for you  
>I move the stars for no one<br>You've run so long  
>You've run so far<p>

Your eyes can be so cruel  
>Just as I can be so cruel<br>Though I do believe in you  
>Yes I do<br>Live without the sunlight  
>Love without your heartbeat<br>I, I can't live within you  
>I can't live within you<br>(sigh)  
>I, I can't live within you<p>

"Within You"  
>by David Bowie in the movie "Labyrinth"<p>

On the eighth night Eddie was becoming restless you could see it in the way his body was tensing up. Hungrily his eyes followed Carly he had taken a liking to Sydney's sister even commenting that Zoe wasn't much of an appetizer, but he wouldn't mind starting with her if he could have Carly afterwards. I didn't want to know what his plans for her were, my thoughts were only on Sydney.

"How much longer?" He asked quietly as the family's car had arrived from coming back from church. So far in the last seven days after learning from Lissa that Abe was sending his men, we hadn't seen anything and Abe had plenty of time to send his guardian's and nothing. No guardian's, no sign of Levent and his elite team... nothing. Not even the Queen's royal guardian's had even tried to purse us which made me wonder didn't she even care about Adrian at all? Or was Queen Tatiana so wrapped up in the traditional Moroi affairs that she was silently waiting for me to come after her. Those thoughts and more plagued me night after night of seeing nothing, that my frustrations only grew even more, building up my rage and fury to a higher new level. Maybe Lissa was getting better at controlling the bond then I had given her credit for. She was blocking me from something big and important that much I knew as she was throwing up some major walls to keep me out of her head and so I couldn't see who or what was going on around her anymore, which only further irritated me. Desperate to be kept into the loop and highly doubting that anyone would be making a move on us, I sighed out with resignation. Eddie was right we couldn't do this every night with Serena still out their gunning for us, well me. It was way past time to make our move and we both knew it.

"We move now." I replied with a toying smiling that creased over my lips, as Eddie's eyes seemed to take on a more devious inner glow within them, as he looked appreciatively back down at Carly's unknowing face.

"Your time has come little Alchemist." He replied almost thoughtfully, an ominous evil grin suddenly appeared that hadn't been there before. The foot that he had been balancing on while he had been sitting on his back haunches straighten as he stood to his full height on the rooftop. Turning and walking with a steady purpose in our strides. We both used our claws as we edge ourselves closer towards one of the bedroom windows, go figure they wouldn't bother in locking them. However with it being on the second floor the Sage's must have felt there wasn't a need, boy what a bad judge of character, they had in the neighborhood. I thought wanting to laugh with the amusing situation. Sliding the window upwards, I crawled in first taking in our surroundings. This must have been Jared and Sydney's mother's room, as I crossed into the room lifting a picture of them off of the wall. It was Sydney's mother dressed in her prestigious little perfect white wedding gown, with her husband Jared smiling proudly at her side. His hands were wrapped tightly around her waist, and both were sharing what I assumed was there first husband and wife kiss. They looked so damn happy and cherry, the loving couple grimacing back and laying the picture upside down on the dresser.

Eddie also slipped into the room without making a sound. Damn Lissa was becoming annoying as some of her feelings began leaking into the bond, she was increasingly becoming nervousness, both excitement and dread were flowing through her at the same time, as she tried her hardest masking what she was feeling. "Ahhh sis don't hide from little ole me." I chuckled back in the region of her head. I promise that I won't bite much...not... I lied." I laughed out loud, as I could feel her shuddering with revulsion.

"Stay out of her head." Eddie warned reminding me of more important matters that lied ahead of us, he was absolutely correct. We both needed our wits about us. Eddie slipped out of the room while I laid in waiting for either Sage's mother to come into the room. I was hoping that it would be her father as there was nothing more worse then daddy being in trouble and his little girl being unable to do anything about it. Would Sydney beg and plead for his life or would it be her mother's that she would cry out for. Either way I would take whoever came into the room. Neither would any of the Sage's, would be expecting a Strigoi invasion in their little home of peaceful serenity. Letting my Strigoi hearing pick up every little sound, as I stayed hidden quietly in the shadows on the other side of the bedroom door. Eddie must have decided to take the same approach as I was. I hadn't heard any shrieks of terror, no screams of help. He must of hidden in another bedroom lying in waits just like me, waiting for our prey to come to us. When the door slowly squeaked opened, I grabbed the first person that enter the room, which happened to be Sydney's mother from behind. My hands closed over her throat tightly ready to snap the bones in her neck, if she even so much as breath out a scream of help alerting the others.

"Move." I snarled and pushed her out towards the hallway of the bedrooms, and guided her towards the carpeted stairs case.

"Sydney... come out... come out... where ever you are." My voice rang out loudly bringing all the noise and chatter in the home to a screeching halt, when I caught sight of platinum blonde hair, as the strands bounced on one of the Sage's shoulders, that met us while we were descending down the stairs.

"Back." I growled to Zoe as her eyes widen in fear. "Eddie come down here... the party is just getting started." I replied pushing both myself and Sydney's mother towards the living room. When I looked over at Sydney, her hand was shaking so badly as she was digging around for something in one of the purses. She must be going for some kind of potion.

"If you value your mother's life." I told her running my sharpen claws on the left side of her cheek, that Mrs. Sage cried out, when my claw started drawing blood from the tearing skin. Which made Sydney look squeamish as though she was going to be sick. Dropping the purse hard on the ground it fell with a heavy thud and she glared death back at me, that I couldn't resist laughing as I slowly licked her mother's blood off of my fingertips one at a time, savoring the richly taste.

"I can't make up my mind who I want to start with first." Eddie chuckled as he came down the stairs shoving Carly with him, she must have went into her room while everyone else had stayed downstairs.

'What is it that you want?" Sydney asked doing her best to sound unafraid, but her molten brown eyes saying differently gave her away. She used her fingertips to make a warding off evil cross over her shoulder. That I laughed even louder.

"Do you really think that's going to help?" I sneered out. "Ugh... ahh well... what do I want?" I asked mimicking her in that damn small voice. Reaching behind my back I tossed the files that had been slipped under my shirt and into my waist. Nervously she looked at her father who had entered the room and he nodded his head in approval and came to stand by her side and reached down and picked up the files handing her them. Looking through them Sydney eyes quickly scanned Serena's Gurevich name and then that of Jill's.

"What's the connection?" I asked as my impatiences were growing. "She wants Lissa and I want to know why. What make her so damn important that she demands for the rest of us, to kill her. Serena had hoped that it would be me that did the deed on the train, until Robert took over.

"That's impossible." Sydney said softy as her eyes flickered from folder to folder as though the answer had been starring in front of her the whole time, and somehow, someway I had missed it.

"What is?" I snapped back.

"Rose didn't you notice the coloring of their eyes... much less their facial features?" Sydney asked looking puzzling back at me.

"Just tell her." Eddie roared tired of the debate, that was going on between us.

"Yes tell her." Sydney's mother said oddly quiet as though she was indicating some signal to her. Swallowing hard and finally looking back at me as the air made a small hissing sound from her parted lips. "Their sisters Rose... that the connection you've been looking for. Eric Dragomir obviously had an affair and more then once from the looks of it."

As my mind struggled to process the new information, Sydney's mother used my distraction against me and struggled in my arms and just as fast and swiftly turned around and faced me. Only I wasn't expecting to see the twinkling in her eyes as she smile upwards at me. All to clearly everything began making since only I wasn't ready for the out come as she shoved a stake hard into my chest.

"Your not Sydney's mother." I gasped out in a wailing agonizing scream.

"Your right little Dhampir miss me?" He asked and threw the rest of his body weight into the stake piercing my heart. The room of mirrors where I had been trapped for so long showed Eddie reacting as well and went to bite Carly. Just as his fangs came down a wall of fire shot out past his head and he blinked rapidly in the direction that it was coming from. In Zoe's little out stretched hand a wall of fire blasted out towards him again. Carly who had been passively in his arms this whole time, also turned on him holding a stake. When Jared rushed towards him pinning him up against the wall. Eddie fought swiping his claws at her chest and lunged forward to wrap his hands around her neck going in for the kill. When who I had thought was Carly had slammed a stake into his chest. Bright blinding lights filled the Sage's home. The darken hall of mirrors showing me killing Dimitri over and over again and all the things that I had done to him and wanted to do him were reflected into the mirrors, when the bright blinding lights blasted through, shattering the mirrors one at a time, until my spirit, my soul felt as though it was free falling in the blackened mist into the light.

The most perfect and gentlest of soul's came to meet me in the light from the darkness. Adrian's face shinned so brightly and within his emerald eyes was the most selfless love of them all, that I whimpered out when my soul slammed hard into my body. Driving away the evil monster that had been inhibiting me for so long, like a disease, a plaque of death screamed and thrashed about, until it decomposing presence left me.

"Adrian...Adrian...Adrian." I sobbed out as I crumpled into him and we both fell onto the floor in a heap. His arms tightened around me and held me protectively, as I buried my face into his chest. Blinded by the enormous amount of tears that were soaking into his shirt, he smelled so damn good and just so damn alive. The others rushed to move towards us and one by one the illusion of who they were, began to change as they removed the rings that they had all been wearing. Sydney's sister Zoe had been Christian and Carly who Eddie had been holding was Lissa and last but not least Jared; Sydney's father was Dimitri.

Eddie was much in the same state as I was as he was holding onto Lissa for dear life afraid to even let go for even a second, had a death grip on her as he fell at her feet crying, when Dimitri had released him. The only one in the room who had been who they were meant to be all along was Sydney. She had the look of shock and awe etched onto her face as though blindly she had witnessed a miracle happen before her very eyes.

"Adrian...Adrian... I don't...I don't understand." I choked out muffled by his shirt. My god he felt so good, so full of life, he was so warm that my hands trembled and I was shaking from the very core, his heartbeat even though it was fast was beating strongly and loudly against my ear. I was astounded by hearing it's beating rhythm against me. His heart was beating, ohhh my god his heart was beating." I...I killed you." I cried out. "I killed you...I'm so sorry I killed you." I cried out hysterically.

"No stay back." Christian said in an eerily quiet voice as wall of flames shot around us. When I lifted my head Christian had created a barrier preventing Dimitri and Lissa, along with a few of Abe's men who had been radioed in from coming any closer towards us.

I had killed him. I had drank Adrian dry, my mind couldn't processes anything more then that. All that blood, Adrian's blood, ohhh my god Adrian's blood, there had been so much of it. I had taken such an innocent soul, one that was so beautiful and had never hurt anyone in his life and drank him dry. Then there had been Dimitri and the horrible ungodly truth of what I had done to him, what I had forced him to do to me. I had shoved my hand into his chest, felt around in his organs, twisting my fingers into his body, not once but twice taking his life nearly both times and the last time for sure. Again there was just so much blood what had I done?

"This was the only way that you couldn't see us coming." I heard him telling me and felt Adrian pressing small light kisses into my hair. "It was the only way honey... it was the only way." He kept repeating over and over. But my mind wasn't listening, squeezing my eyes tightly shut my body began convulsing over the shock and memory, that I vaguely heard Adrian's voice while he called out to me as my hands tightened around him.

The darkness closed in on me as exhaustion and shock took over and the darken void of dreams swallowed me up whole. However even in sleep, the horrifying nightmares of being trapped in the many room of mirrors, came with every fine vivid detail of victims and all their screaming faces and the never ending cesspool of blood. That when I finally lifted my tired weary eyes, the screams, those horrifying screams were coming from me. Coated in sweat my body shook feverishly as my eyes flickered throughout the room and seeing only the bars of my newly founded gilded cage, my own private hell of a prison came into focus. The irony of it was so cruel that the fates had such a morbid sense of humor, that I laughed aloud hysterically. I should have seen this one coming, as my hands closed around the metal bars feeling there coldness as the chill spreaded upwards from my fingers into my hands, as I fervently started shaking them back and forth, to where the metal bars clang heavily together and rattled with the finality of it all.

"I restore her soul... she's, not a threat. Rose needs me." Adrian said gruffly, irritation reflecting into his voice.

"I'm sorry lord Ivashkov, but I have my orders." Stan said in his condescending voice as though he was on some kind of major power trip.

"I don't care about your orders... you'll let me pass and you'll take me to Rose now." Adrian said just as smoothly soft as liquid velvet. When Adrian appeared he looked just as good and wonderful as the last time that I had saw him. His hair having that sleek messy look to him made me relax as his eyes soften when he saw me. Dressed in button up fly Levi jeans with a blue sports pull over tee shirt, he looked good that my hungry eyes took in every detail. He was alive and for me that was all that had really counted.

"Open the doors." Adrian said just as softly and turned facing Stan. When Stan opened the door, I launched myself into Adrian's eager awaiting arms, knocking him backwards. And for once since I had woken up, I felt safe and somewhat sane again.

"Please don't leave me.'"I begged into his shirt. "I..I can't bare being alone. I'm so scared Adrian. I'm so scared." I cried out feeling tears prickling back behind my eyelids again.

"Rose either myself, Lissa or Christian wants to help you with this, it's gotta be hell trying to adjust. Even Dimitri wants to help, but Levent has restricted his movements around you. Seems you have a watch dog for a protector.

"I don't want to see any of them." I told Adrian and pulling out of his arms to go sit on the bed drawing my knees up around myself.

"And me Rose... you don't want to see me either?" He asked sitting on the bed beside me, as I began rocking myself back and forth, suddenly feeling dirty and unclean from all the blood that I had spilled.

"No." I said shaking my head. "I love you Adrian...you saved me...I need you here." I replied more in a whisper. "I don't understand how...

Well I wasn't as badly off as I made myself out to be." He said with a light laugh. "You did the rest all on your own, thinking that I was dead, and well that's the way I choose to remain. It was harder then hell hiding that knowledge from Lissa. We were always wondering if you would pop in and discover me. She didn't find out...until the end." I finished for him now realizing her secret.

"I'm quite the accomplished actor when I choose to be...and Dimitri?" I asked seeking his eyes from over the top of my knees stopping him. "He was dead Adrian.. I played with his organs inside his chest. I crushed his bones with." Before I could finish Adrian drew me back into his arm wiping the few stray tears that had fallen down my cheeks away with his finger.

"He's shadow kissed." Adrian spoke more quietly driving the point home that I had killed Dimitri. Getting up and pacing the floor as though he was going to wear a hole in the ground, I kept following his every movement knowing whatever Adrian was going to say, it wasn't going to be good.

"And before you ask... it's safe to say he was long gone by the time that I found him...you mean Lissa...no little Dhampir." Adrian said exhaling deeply and raking his hand into his hair and coming to a complete stop in front of me."I'm still trying to wrap my head around being able to feel him." He said softly and sitting down beside me once again.

My eyes crumpled and fell as the tears that I had been holding back sprang forward like a dam. Adrian would suffer from spirit darkness just like Lissa was, and it was all my fault he was tied and bound to Dimitri just as I was to Lissa and the knowledge tore painfully at my heart.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry...Ahh that alright little Dhampir." He said shouldering my cries as he held me close for the longest time. "I would gladly do it all over again if it would help ease some of the guilt that you're feeling.

"No." I shuddered back and pulled away from him and was the one who stood up and crossed my arms over my chest. "I did this. I did all of it." I said waving around the room as though going in circles wasn't enough to make me feel dizzy and faint. 'I deserve this guilt...after everything... tell me want you want Adrian... anything at all and it's yours. I'll do anything to make up for all the pain and heartache that I have caused you." I replied solemnly meaning every word that I spoke whatever Adrian wanted I would grant.

"The only thing that I have ever wanted Rose, has been you." Adrian told me, that I nodded my head. I had always known that.

"Done." I told him and kneel down in front of him and sadly his eyes looked back into mine as though he didn't believe me, but I would show him. "You have me...all of me." I said picking up his hand and uncurling his fingers, so that I could place the palm of his hand over my chest, directly over my heart.

"Even if what I wanted was marriage to you...before Adrian could finish I pressed my lips up tightly against his giving him my answer, the only way that I could. It was so sweet and lightly that he quickly drew in a deep breath as my mouth slowly moved over his and he responded, both of his hands circling around my neck as my lips parted welcoming him in. My hands slid up the length of his legs moving to drift up towards his arms to encircle him more fully. Adrian lightly moaned in his chest as our tongues dances with each other and just as fast as I had started the kiss he pulled back, even though I had tried tugging his neck back down towards me. Gripping both of my hands within his own hands Adrian emeralds flashed with all the love and warmth that could only be described as Adrian.

"What your feeling or what you think your feeling for me is the affects of spirit Rose...see it for what it really is." Adrian words warmed me to my very center almost in a honey warmth of caress that I tried shaking my head in disagreement, vainly fighting the fog that was trying to take root. "I won't let you fall in the same trap as Lissa and Dimitri fell into. I love you way to much for that."

"Adrian...it's only spirit ...see it for what it is. Your eyes are heavy your tired close your eyes and sleep." Adrian lulling words melted my resolve as I sagged more between his knees, feeling my eyes close and sleep claiming me once more.

When I opened my eyes again it was day time as the sun peered through the light cream yellow curtains, which were moving back and forth swaying gently in the breeze and the gentle rays from the sun landing on my face. The distant roaring of the ocean wasn't too far away, that I pulled back the comforter to the bed and walked towards the opened window feeling the sunlight on my face for the very first time. Glancing downwards it seemed as though I was surround by the sea water as the waves crashed and rolled into themselves. Looking down from a dizzying height it was perfect, better then when I had lived next to the coast in Turkey.

"It's beautiful Adrian." I choked out feeling the heat of the sunlight and marveling in it.

"Adrian's not here Rose." Dimitri quiet voice said from somewhere behind me, that I jumped and turned quickly around to be met with dark penetrating brown eyes.

"Then I want to go back." I replied numbly, inching away from him as the memories of what I had done to him flash before me, that I cringed back.

"That's not possible you need time to heal and Adrian...I don't care." I cried out "I need him." I cried struggling with the words and then remembering him using compulsion on me, that I closed my eyes tightly. What a fool I was after everything that I had done to him, know wonder why he couldn't bring himself to love me...It's not that Rose it's not that at all, he just didn't want you making the same mistake that I had." Dimitri explained and took in a deep breath as though this somehow pained him, then again after everything that I had done to him, it must have.

Getting up from the chair he crossed the large room towards me, that my eyes flickered about and nearly bugged out of my head looking for away out, then seeing it just on the other side of him.

Dimitri must have seen my reaction but it didn't deter him from coming towards me, that I slowly began backing away from him. "Please...please don't." I shook my head ruefully. "Don't come any closer." Needing to distracted him numbly my mind kept trying to think of away out.

"Jill." I blurted out. "She's the one whose been going after Lissa...she's the one whose been working with Serena... you have to stop her." I warned. Dimitri looked at me thoughtfully and when he went back toward his chair from where he had been sitting. On the stand next to it, he turned to pick up his cellphone and that's when I made my move, running past him just as fast and hard as I could and just out of those long reaching arms of his.

"Roza wait." He called out as I raced down the never ending very, very long spiral stair case as it kept winding down until I reached the bottom. The living room was off to the right of me and the kitchen just off towards the left. The whole place was very rustic with western furniture and western homy feel to it. A dark brown hickory couch was centered in the living room along with a few end tables on either side of it. A throw rug on the light maple brown hardwood floors, a couple of lamps that were made with seashells and starfishes graced the end tables. Looking desperately for the front door I sighed with relief as I threw it opened and charged out of there so fast, that I didn't wait for Dimitri to follow.


	33. What I always Wanted

_**No one can blame you**_  
><em><strong> For walking away<strong>_  
><em><strong> Too much rejection (na na)<strong>_  
><em><strong> No love injection <strong>_  
><em><strong> Life can be easy<strong>_  
><em><strong> It's not always swell<strong>_  
><em><strong> Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl<strong>_  
><em><strong> 'Cause it hurts like hell<strong>_  
><em><strong> But down in the underground<strong>_  
><em><strong> You'll find someone true<strong>_  
><em><strong> Down in the underground<strong>_  
><em><strong> A land serene<strong>_  
><em><strong> A crystal moon, ah, ah<strong>_

_** It's only forever**_  
><em><strong> Not long at all<strong>_  
><em><strong> Lost and lonely<strong>_  
><em><strong> That's underground<strong>_  
><em><strong> Underground<strong>_

_**Underground-Bowie, David**_

_I couldn't be here not with him, not after everything, not after what I had done. I didn't want to be here quickly my eyes took in the ocean it was so large and so massive. The huge body of water seem to stretch on forever, as far and wide as the eye could see in almost every direction. The over head seagulls that were flying around were chirping, one would occasionally dive into the murky salt waters down below. Plunging it's whole body beneath the white sea foam waves and come back up with a fish nestled within it's powerful beck. When I looked back from the direction that I had come from. I was astonished to see a single blue stripe that wrapped around the large circular white walls of the lighthouse. At the very top were rows and rows of windows that covered the whole top of the roof in all directions. A lighthouse my mind thought blankly, either Adrian had brought me here or Dimitri had, but how? More importantly how had I slept for so long allowing them to bring me here? In front of me was a single gravel dirt road that led to the mainlands. Everything was surrounded in large palm trees and lush green grass. A true garden of Eden, natures own little paradise, shaking my head I willed my legs to walk needing to see if there was any chance of escaping. _

_I had been following the gravel dirt road for hours passing more and more palm trees until the road led down to the ocean below. There wasn't a single house, building or structure anywhere. For that matter I hadn't seen a single person at all and realized that I had been brought in by boat, from what I could tell this was a deserted island and Dimitri and I were the only two Dhampir's here. Sitting down on the sandy banks and laying my head on my knee's, I felt completely utterly lost and alone, as I stared out into the coming tide, watching the waves as they came towards me, then drifting slowly back away again._

_"Why am I here?" I asked feeling Dimitri presence and smelling the faintest traces of his cologne way before I had even seen him._

_"Adrian felt that you needed some distance and so did the queen, she had planned on keeping you in that cell." Leaning down Dimitri picked up a few seashells cupping them in his hand, then taking one in between his fingers he chucked it back into the waters of the ocean, then selected another. "However Adrian talked her out of it by suggesting that you be allowed to go somewhere where you wouldn't be in direct contact with the others...until I can prove that I'm not a Strigoi anymore." I huffed out. "So he traded one prison for another." I mused looking unseeingly at the waters in front of me._

_"This is hardly a prison, you could still be stuck in that cell... the way Eddie is._

_"So why did they pair me up with you to be my warden?" I asked not bothering to look at him._

_"Because I know what you're going through... hell I've been there before in case you've forgotten." Dimitri said stopping in mid toss of throwing another shell when he turned towards me. His dark brown eyes were filled with pain, whether that pain was for himself or for me I couldn't tell. "Believe it or not you need a friend, someone who understands._

_This time I did look at Dimitri, snorting rather unlady like and got up and walked closer towards the water, crossing my arms over my chest as I did so."Right you want to be my friend after everything that I did...it wasn't you Rose... the monster... the Strigoi... all of it wasn't you!" Dimitri growled out as his frustration seemed to be building.  
><em>

_"But it was me...that's what you don't understand" I screamed jabbing a finger into my chest feeling the tears building up and falling slowly down as I looked at him. "Even before I was awakened, I wanted to kill you and Lissa for what you both did to me, just being Strigoi I acted on it." Covering my mouth and looking back at the water I shook my head absently. "I acted on it." I grounded out again, the silence became awkward and uncomfortable for both of us and I heard Dimitri taking an unsettling breath._

_"And seeing you with Adrian, Christian and god forbid your watch dog Levent, I felt the same way. You don't know how many times I wanted to beat the living shit out of them." Dimitri said waving his tightly curled fist into the air, proving his point. "Had I been Strigoi...you wouldn't have done what I did." I finished for him. "You went to Russia to get away from all of us remember? You didn't try and kill..._

_"Rose just stop... Because I did." Dimitri growled his voice climbing a higher octave, his eyes, his very nearness seemed to burn a hole right through me as Dimitri struggled to control his emotions "I went after you and nearly killed Lis...I mean Vasilisa." He told me earnestly catching himself from making the same mistake that he had from the last time. "I used her...I used Vasilisa as bait against you... so don't."_

_Walking over his hands shot around my waist so fast that automatically I began struggling in his arms, using my hands to press against his chest trying to break free from his restraining hold. His breathing was coming in a little faster and his dark piercing brown eyes locked and held mine so intensely that I quit struggling against him. "I won't give up on you...and there's nothing that you can say that would change that." He added more quietly giving me a gentle shake and reminding me of the day in the church. When he very loudly announced in front of everyone that he had given up on me, funny how he seemed to have forgotten that now. _

_"You should because I already have." I whispered, Dimitri's hands fell away to his sides as I stepped back, he clearly had more to say but for the time being decided to let it go, for which I was grateful for as I turned and walked back up to the main house. Looking around in the kitchen and rummaging around in the cabinets my stomach was growling when I heard Dimitri come in a sort time latter. _

_Giving up and exhaling deeply, I went into the bedroom finding my clothes neatly folded and put away in the dresser. Taking out a long tee shirt nightgown and going into the shower, I felt just as empty on the inside as I looked when I caught my reflection in the mirror. The hot steaming water sooth my tensed up muscles as the tiny water droplets beaded up on my skin, cascading the soap and the shampoo down the drain, to bad it couldn't wash away my memories much the same way. When I had finished and stepped out again I paused and looked at myself in the mirror. Not much about me had really changed I noticed, sure I was a little thinner then what I had been before I had been awakened. Also my skin was slightly pale but not by much from lack of sunlight, my curvy figure wasn't as toned as it had been before, but that was only because I hadn't been training either. Not a whole lot had changed about myself, the problem was I didn't really __know who I was anymore. Was I still a guardian, if so then whose? More importantly did I even want to be a guardian anymore? Drying off quickly and throwing the night gown over my head as I went into the bedroom I heard Dimitri on the phone. From the sound of it was either with my parents, Lissa or Adrian which I wasn't sure of as I pulled the sheets down and climbed into bed. At this point, I just simply didn't care anymore._

_ When my eyes hit the pillow sleep pulled me under and my world was caught up in the colorfully mazes of nightmares, where everything that I touched turned to blood and the faces, god lord all the faces, there were so many of them. Along with the wild desperation of screams, agonizing screams and pleas from strangers and victims that I had killed, begging for mercy in which I had shown them none. Until the dream world was being tugged and pulled from so many directions, being changed with bright hues of colors, replacing the nightmares to something more real. _

_A fresh garden row of spruce and pine trees appeared, along with a beautiful flower garden of carnations, wild daisies and roses. To the left of me were high mountainous peaks with two magnanimous free flowing water falls flowing between the two mountain tops, the misting sprays that cascaded downwards created a mid size rainbow as the water from the falls were bending the light through them. In between the rows of trees were thick plush green blades of grass that slightly stirred from the misting falls. Over head were a couple of spotted eagles flying around one was squawking as though it was calling for it's mate. Drawing a relaxing breath I took all the beauty and wonder in letting it fill me, as in my waking state I couldn't seem to feel any of the feelings that were threatening to bust free now. Spread out on the ground was a red and white plaid cloth. When I sat down Adrian's shoulders and chest appeared from under one of the waterfalls when he emerged from the watering pools, from where he had been swimming. When he stepped out of the water his bare legs suddenly became covered in a dry pair of jeans and his bare chest slowly began to change as a white dress shirt materialized covering him._

_"Your parents are going to be arriving tomorrow." Adrian said as he walked up to the blanket and sat down besides me. "Christian will be there in a couple of days to check on you... and Levent...why am I __here with him Adrian? Out of all the people... Dimitri?" I asked cutting him off. _

_"He understands you...he knows the way you think." Adrian spoke, being ever the reasonable one, even when I was sure his heart was torn in two. "Plus he knows what it's like to... to."He said waving his finger making his point. "Being Strigoi and being restored." Adrian offered after a few minutes of silence, then shook his head and cursed beneath his breath. "Levent's only allowing this temporary arrangement with Dimitri, until he's through handling some personal business of his own and then he'll be up._

_"Great." I groaned out and rolled my eyes getting up. "Just what I fucking need... more people, when the one person that I do need doesn't want me." I chided out as though my voice was somewhere far away. Standing up Adrian took an unsteady breath and reached over, clasping my hand into his and threaded his fingers in between mine. His thumb rubbing the back of my hand ever so gently, then gave a gentle shake._

_ "That's not true Little Dhampir and you know it. What your feeling... yeah.. yeah... yeah." I said shaking my head already tired of his new argument. "Is the affect of spirit...I get it." I replied back meeting his eyes. "But are you sure? Isn't there like some kind of test that you could do?" I ask searching for anything; anything at all to make him understand how his distance was just crazy for the both of us. _

_"Yup." He said sounding as though my words were hurting him, that he squeezed my hand even harder. "It's called space and distance, until your feelings comeback and your sure, what it is that you really want. Otherwise." Adrian said turning me round towards him, so that I was looking directly into his emerald green eyes. He had such a serious look about him that I wasn't use to seeing it, and it scared me as he pulled away. "None of this is really real." He said flippantly, waving his hand towards the direction of the dream world. Before I could say or do anything the dream world flickered and just as fast as I had seen him, Adrian was gone leaving me back in the darkness of my dreams._

_"Get up your late." The rough shaking on my shoulders had me opening first one eye, then slamming it shut. "Come on Rose time to get up." The rough shaking on my shoulders continued jarring me until my whole upper front of my body was being moved. Groaning loudly I opened both of my eyes just to give Dimitri the thousand and one death stares._

_"What?" I snarled rudely back at him not understanding being awoken at the ungodly hour of, rolling over my eyes fell heavily at the clock, it was a little after three pm in the evening. _

_"Were suppose to be at the peer at five o'clock, both Abe and your mother, guardian Hathaway will be arriving and your going to be late if you don't get a move on." The sunlight was shining brightly on the light sea foam teal walls, when I blinked trying to get my eyes to focus. He looked as though he had just gotten done working out, wearing his jogging training shorts. My eyes fell hard on his bare chest, watching the muscles move as I sat up slowly on the bed. In his cupped hand, Dimitri held a steaming hot cup of coffee out towards me. _

_"Here this will help." He offered that I groaned again,simply because I didn't want to get up. Carefully reaching up and taking the cup from him. I wasn't even sure if I could force myself to drink it. __In his other hand was a plate with chocolate covered glazed donuts, which he also handed me as well. _

_"The sooner you start forcing yourself to eat and drink, the easier it will get." Dimitri said looking concerned as I made a face when I first smelled the coffee's aroma._

_"Can't we just say that I did, when I didn't...nice try." Dimitri replied his lip twitching into an amusing smirk, that also reached his dark brown eyes, as he caught me staring at him.  
>Get dress...I'll see you downstairs in a few minutes." He told me and got up walking back out of the bedroom. <em>

_Taking a deep breath I pulled the blankets back and climbed out of bed and pulled out a clean pair of clothes from the dresser." Ohh goodie it was time to see the folks. I could just imagine what my mom or Abe had to say. More then likely Abe would say something to the affect, of how I couldn't be ___Marie Conta's guardian or some kind of crap like that; that I shook my head not even really wanting to go. Would they even still consider me being apart of the family? Was I still their daughter or would they just see me as some kind of monster with Strigoi blood still running through my veins? When Dimitri and I finally left the house we both walked along the dirt covered trail for a few miles, there was a single loading dock not to far from the house when we walked up to the wooden plank peer. The water was calm and gentle as the waves lightly smacked up against the sides of the dock. Bending down Dimitri plucked a single blade of grass and placing it in between his teeth chewing on it as we both waited.__

_"_The ugh... lust charm ring." I asked clearing my throat, feeling myself blush that I turned away as my mind pulled up the night when I had been awakened. "Who ahhh charmed it for you?" I heard myself asking as we both seemed to get even more awkward around each other and it was because of all the unanswered questions.__

__Inhaling sharply Dimitri spit out the blade of grass that he had, as his hand wavered and combed through his hair with his fingers in frustration.__

_"_Oksana." He said quietly unable to look at me, that I nodded my head swallowing the lump that had formed.__

_"_And Yeva?" I squeaked out as though my throat had a mind of it's own and was closing off.__

__Exhaling Dimitri eyes shined with regret and I could see by the look on his face that he wasn't proud of what he had done that night. He was dreading having to have the talk much less having to talk about it. However the look on his face also showed just how determined he was to have it, regardless if he wanted it or not.__

_"_Grandmother said." Dimitri started then closing his eyes and taking another deep breath. " Certain events had to happen in order for you to comeback to me. That was just one of them...she saw me being turned into a Strigoi." I roared accusingly that made his muscles tense up from the accusation as though I had belted him one and he took a jerky step back."And you let it happen...I swear I didn't know about that part until it was too late...grandmother has always been cryptic with her visions... you know this." He said defensively his fists curling down at his sides, as he tried hiding the rage that he was feeling. Maybe those pissed off feelings that I was seeing were directed towards her for what she put me through or maybe they were directed at himself for the role that he played in everything. __

_"You don't know how bad I feel about you being changed." He said walking up towards me, thankfully he didn't use the word awakened._

_"But your not sorry about what you... I mean we.." I said clearing my throat again from the embarrassing feelings that were coursing through me. Both of his hands roughly grabbed my upper arms slamming me hard into his chest. So startled from the sudden movement, that I had the wind knocked out of me, his piercing hawk like brown eyes locked and held me as I struggled to get free of his biting fingers._

_"Pretending to be Levent." Dimitri all but sneered out "Yeah...but taking advantage of the fact that you were drunk and making love to you again, just like I did back in the cabin?" He said arching up his eyebrow as his lips turned into one of those treasured full smiles, that I had once loved so much "Then no...hell no! I would do it again in a heartbeat." Stunned I didn't know what to say by his bluntness, and fought even more against his restraining hold on my arms. Dimitri's lips locked down on mine and the more that I fought him, the rougher and tighter he pulled me towards him, countering my every move._

_The sound of a motorboat somewhere still too far off in the distance, had Dimitri lifting his head towards the direction that it was coming from. A full warm hearty laugh that I hadn't heard from him in ages, rumbling off of his chest vibrated against mine, as he chuckled softly. _

_"I will have you again Roza... make no mistake about that."He told me letting go of my arms, when the boat slowly appeared that I glared back at him, and plastering a fake smile to my face. "We'll see about that." I all but screamed out as my right hand collided into his jaw forcing Dimitri to take a step back or feel the heavily blow of my left, that was already drawn and pulled back ready to go into flight to the other side of that smug looking face of his. _

_"What's going on here?" The old man asked as he tossed a line into Dimitri's direction so that he could tie the line off to the small boat onto the dock._

_"Nothing that I can't handle." I muttered out earning another chuckle from Dimitri._

_"Rosemarie say hello to Gregory Berkant." Janine said as she patted him on the back. "He's Levent's younger brother, here on assignment. She explained as he climbed out of the boat. He had Levent's gray piercing eyes and hair coloring, even though it was much shorter giving him a clean cut look around his boyish face. Also he was shorter in height and in build outside of that their really wasn't to much of a difference between the two men. "It's a pleasure in finally meeting you. Levent has spoken very highly of you." Gregory added and offered his hand which I readily accepted and shaking his firmly back.  
><em>

_"This is Marian." Mom said, the tall slender Moroi smiled warmly back at as she also climbed out of the boat, with Gregory's help. She was tiny and petite the way most Moroi women were, her sandy blonde hair swept across to the one side of her shoulder. While here blues eyes twinkled back into mine. Friendly was the word that came to mine as I accepted her hand into a handshake as well._

_"We're both here." She said waving her finger at both herself and Gregory. "On Queen Tatiana's behalf to document and report your progress." She said not saying much of anything else, which made me feel like a lab rat under a microscope for inspection._

_"And Levent." I asked looking over her shoulder at my mom. Who with Abe's help also risen getting out of the boat. _

_"He'll be here shortly. He was going to be here in a couple of days... but ummm managed to get his personal affairs in order, so he'll be here at nightfall." Mom said giving Abe a weird look, then chewing on her lips as though she was afraid to say any think else._

_"_Great a full house, just what I always wanted... won't that be all...nice and cozy." I snorted out and turned trying to hide the sarcasm that was building up inside of me.__

_"_You guys go ahead and head on up to the main house." I tossed out getting strange looks from Dimitri as his eyes first rested on the boat and then on myself, then swiftly nodding his head no. Damn Russian there was no getting over on him. I thought as I bit my lip hard just to keep from screaming. Following both Abe and my mom as both of there arms wrapped around and clung around my shoulders, half tugging and dragging me, we followed the others back towards the lighthouse. __

__"Damn you too Adrian." I muttered out under my breath. Dimitri cocked his eyebrow looking back at me questioningly.__

_"_What was that?" He asked leaning towards my ear. When I didn't say anything, he fell into step with me as we single file more or less entered into the main house of the lighthouse. __


	34. Full House

_"_The bed rooms are this way." Dimitri said leading mom, Gregory and Marian up the winding staircase towards the second and third part of the flooring. The grating sound of Dimitri voice as he was showing the others to their rooms, was playing hell with my nerves and made me feel even more uneasy. I started gritting my teeth and backing away from the railing of the stairs feeling as though I was going to be sick. A thin layer of sweat pooled down in between my shoulder blades as my head started reeling. I didn't want to be here dammit not with them, I didn't want to be here with any of them. The look that mom gave to Abe was the same that he was giving to me, damn those two were on the same page where I was concerned. Only Abe chose to remain behind and he was watching me like a hawk. Slowly the old man came and stood in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders, which only made me cringe even more.__

_"_You alright Kiz? He asked with a gentling softness that warmed his eyes, that I just look back at him dumbfounded, not really knowing how to answer him on that one. Was I alright, hell I was anything but alright and he somehow picked up on it. __

_"_I don't know." I replied honestly and pulling out of his embrace, just to start fidgeting nervously picking at the hem of my shirt, pulling at the bottom of the threads, making them unravel on my tee shirt. "I'm taking it minute by minute. Sometimes even second by second just to keep from losing it. Everyone being here." I said waving my hand into the air, then lowering my hand to cover my eyes, so that I couldn't look at his face seeing pity,worry and concern for me all rolled up into one, etching his eyebrow the way that it was now."Isn't helping. I just want to be left alone...and no one really seems to get that." I told him airily and took a deep breath then exhaling it slowly, then uncovering my eyes, just to cross my arms over my chest. My shaky fingers began rubbing my bare arms back and forth for any kind of warmth, as though I was cold. On the inside that's just how I felt, cold and empty.__

_"_Ohh we get it Rosemarie...but it's not what's right for you. Despite what you may think, we only want what's best and well you being holed up somewhere feeling sorry for yourself, because of all the guilt that your feeling isn't what's best. Face it ….you need us." He replied as he started walking around the living room and looking at the pictures on the mantel. Picking up one Abe rubbed his mustache thoughtfully his fingers fingering the wiry bristles, then setting the picture down to lock his eyes back on mine. Some of the pictures were of Dimitri and his family and others were of me training with Levent on the circuit and also at the last Man Standing Tournament. God how did he get some of these photos was the old man spying on me, snapping a camera when I wasn't looking? There were also pictures of Christian with his aunt Tasha and Mia, as well of Eddie, Jill and Adrian. God Eddie where to begin I thought briefly as I lowered my eyes in shame, after everything that I had taken from him, I had taken his soul. He was changed because of me, he had killed because of me, and there was no coming back from that. I thought meekly as my eyes fell back on his picture.__

_"Leave it to Abe to not sugar coat anything." I grumbled under my breath, he was going to help me whether I wanted his help not, he was just as bad as Dimitri was. _

_"_How is Eddie?" I asked hating the thought of him being alone in his cell, while I was here. Anything had to be better then where he was.__

__Shifting his eyes nervously Abe rubbed his chin again thoughtfully, before shaking his head. "He's about the same as you actually, withdrawn, refusing visitors. I'm not going to lie to you." Abe said shaking his head a little harder. "He's not doing too good and that cell... that damn cell that he's locked in, isn't helping him either." He explained in frustration, as he wildly started pacing the room as though he was going to wear a hole in the floorboards. "Your mother and I are trying to convince the queen to at least allow him to come here instead. It might actually do you both some good. A form of joint therapy if you will. It's one of the reasons why Levent wasn't here when you woke up...that and among other things." He added more quietly needing a distraction, his eyes those ever so sharp eyes of his surveyed the room, looking at each and every detail of the decor.__

_"_Why am I not back home in Turkey...or even Russia for that mattered." I asked feeling as though the walls were closing in on me. There was just so much to take in. Physically I started shaking and the sudden coldness to my skin brought goosebumps that I rubbed my arms even faster matching the same rhythm of my heartbeat which was beating irregularly faster then normal. Closing my eyes I took an unsteadily breath and just wanted to cringe back even further even though I didn't.__

__Clearing his throat Abe seemed even more abrasive then usual as he walked towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door seeing what all it had to offer him, then deciding on a bottle of water.__

_"_Well stating the obvious reason." He said gingerly then opening the water, taking a long swig from it, then wiping his mouth his eyes locked with mine. "Dimitri felt you're recovering from your ordeal, you should be in a place that you grew to love... the ocean. It's the reason he bought this place, he bought it for you." __

__"The old man just didn't say that." The quiet voice in my head all but shouted. I was gobsmacked first of all guardian's didn't make a whole lot to begin with. Our salaries were to small and meager as it was and this had to of costed him a small fortune. "Dimitri bought this...this...lighthouse for me? I question out loud with my mouth hanging open as I wildly looked unseeingly around. Abe shook his head yes back at me and my shoulders slumped in defeat. Again the room felt as though it was caving in on me, from the startling realization of what Abe was saying that I felt as though the floor had given out from under me. I didn't have to ask why. I already knew why, but that was the only thing that came to mind. Why...why would Dimitri go and do something stupid like that. __

_"_Your going to have to make a decision soon between the four men Rose." He added with more of a snort that he couldn't quit disguise in time. "You can't keep stringing them along the way that you have been. It's not fair to any of them, you have to chose." Abe said in a distant voice, unable to hear any more I ran out of the house hearing Abe's feet beating on the floor behind me. However he wasn't any match in keeping up with me as I bolted from the kitchenette.__

_It was just to much take in, I had been awakened. I had claimed lives, lots of them so many victims. I had robbed innocents rightly of their rights to live long fruitful lives and now I was Dhampir again. Pulling my tee shirt over my head, so that I was just wearing my bra and tearing the shirt that I held in my hands in half. I wrapped the one half tightly around my wrist and knuckles, using my teeth to help tie it off, then doing the same again with my right hand, making sure the thin cloth covered my knuckles. I walked fast, swiftly towards the palm tree and not holding back my fists plummeted and pounded away on the tree bark. One swing after another the blows fell fast and sharply. "Choose one." I snarled out in the roaring of the waves mimicking Abe's voice. _

_"Choose one the old man said... Like I had a fucking choice in the matter. I had chosen or spirit had chosen for me and Adrian didn't want me, he didn't want me." My head screamed out as I threw another sharp right into the side of the tree. Bringing up my left leg and power kicking the hell out of the other side of the tree. Bark shot out around me chipping off into smaller bits and pieces, as my leg landed the strong kick. Then pivoting on the balls of my heel onto my left foot, just to reverse my position and doing the same with my right leg taking even more pieces of the branch and palm leaves off. There had been so much blood from all of my victims. Their blood coating my skin like a second layer of skin or a tightly fitting glove and I had worn it with pride, their deaths were directly caused by me. Who the hell was I to have played god, taking their lives, their reason for being away from them in the manner that I had? Strigoi or not I had killed, no murdered in discriminatively and Abe was worried about who I was going to pick. As though I had deserved any kind of love life, the right for forgiveness, much less penitence and any form of salvation. Hell no who was he kidding? I should be strung up and forced to face my crimes." I shouted into the roaring air as my fist collided heavily into the bark again. _

_"And don't you think that you have?" Levent's strong voice snarled out against my ear, his warm breath fanning out around my neck as he tackled me hard down to the ground. Our bodies were rolling wildly on the sand and through the waves of the water, as the misting spray from the ocean coated us both. Slicking our hairs back from the rumbling waters, the sea was misting into our faces with it's salty waters. Soaking us both to the core as the material from our clothing stuck to our bodies. I flung out my fists trying to hit him anywhere that I could. Levent had caught me so completely off guard that defending myself was just instinct, second nature. I was merely reacting in self defense, only now I was pissed off from the unexpected contact of his body against mine. His hands wrapped around my writs tightly, flinging them backwards and pinning them down hard into the sand, and the rolling water by my sides. Breathing hard to where I was panting, I strangled in a deep breath as though it was choking me, as I glared back at him coldly._

_"What are you doing here?" I demanded shouting into his face as I struggled to lift my wrists from the ground, which he kept tightly pinned. Positioning him self more firmly over me so that I couldn't buck or throw him off of me. Levent's eyes god those incredible smoky gray eyes of his, looked over both of my hands. His eyes falling first to my left hand, then sliding over towards my right hand, it almost seemed so sensual, as though it was a seductive caress that I shivered in response._

_"Durdurma __size den incitmeden kendiniz__"(__Stopping you from hurting yourself) He replied huskily as though he was out of breath himself and his eyes locked and held onto my mine not letting me look away._

_"I wasn't trying to hurt myself." I replied back tartly but the painfully throbbing in both of my hands said differently. "I was...I was." I stammer back and blinking rapidly as the salt water from the tides began stinging my eyes, that I looked away from him."Blowing off steam." I told him more quietly._

_"Then you should have a sparring partner it would hurt allot less then a tree." He told me, giving me a small light smirk, that showed his bottom row of pearly whites, that just seemed to break up the tension around us. Slowly I felt my shoulders relaxing and I know longer struggled within his hold. If Levent want to hold me then I would have know choice in allowing him to do so.  
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_"When did you get in?" I asked calmly, as he let go of one of my wrists to wipe some of the wet soaking hair out of my eyes. His fingers trembled as they lingered longer then they should have on my cheek, tracing an invisible line from my neck towards me cheek again. Then slowly coming to a stop as his fingertips slowly slid around to the base of my neck, drawing me near him. Closing his eyes Levent leaned forward pressing a light gentle kiss to the top of my forehead, before moving to sit up and pulling me up with him._

_"Just a few minutes ago, we heard some wounded animal making ungodly crying sounds, when the boat docked at the peer. Thinking it was a deer or fawn or something. I came racing down by the shores to help the animal out if I could. Only to discover the sounds that I were hearing were coming from you." He said drawing an unsteady breath and pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them in a half hug. "And you." He said taking a deep breath shaking his head as though he was deeply troubled by my behavior. "Were going off on that damn tree. What did that tree over there do to you anyways?" _

_Closing my eyes I pushed at the sand with my feet, feeling the wetness as it squished around in between my toes. "Nothing...the damn tree didn't do anything." I replied tightly angry at my self for losing it, that I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and hung my head down in shame._

_"I can't be here." I croaked out that caused Levent to raise his head and look at me, even though the side of his face was resting on his arms. 'Not with them, all here watching me." I thumbed back towards the direction of the main house. "The one chic, I think her name is Marian. She's wanting to treat me like I'm some kind of lab rat or something and your brother." I said rolling my eyes and shaking my head. "I'm not sure what he wants._

_"He's just here on assignment Rose, and he's" Levent said smirking and lifting his eyebrow at me. "Here to get to know you." He chuckled out and stood to his feet. Turning around he offered me his outstretched hand, where I shrugged my shoulder refusing his help and stood on my own two feet instead. When I looked up his jaw tighten as it always did when he was upset about something.  
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_"I'm going to have to start all over with you aren't I?" Levent asked looking hurt that he pulled his hand away from me, once he realized that I wasn't going to take it. His gray eyes became unreadable that I bit down hard on the inside wall of my cheek, until I tasted blood. I had put that look there, and I was still continuing to hurt him with all of my indifference's." I guess so." He muttered low under his breath, when I didn't answer him back, then started walking back towards the direction of the house leaving him to follow._

_What did Levent want me to say or better yet what did he want me to feel? My mind mulled over the question again and again. I couldn't just force myself to feel what wasn't there anymore. It wasn't like I had a switch inside of me, that I could flip on and off controlling my emotions otherwise I would._

_When Levent and I both entered the house, breakfast was being made and my stomach cramped up in response. The savory bacon, waffles, south western style fried eggs mingled in the air, with small hints of green chile and jalapenos. My mouth oh god lord my mouth, began salivating of the scrumptious flavors. _

_"Rose why don't you come in here and sit." My mom patted the seat beside her and Abe. Looking around I was so shocked to discover that it wasn't just Levent that had come. I almost turned back and ran out of the house as my heart started pounding hard and wildly into my chest, if I hadn't felt Levent's hand at my waist giving me a gentle push. "I think um...Rose needs to go and get changed." Levent replied shakily as he cleared his throat, his eyes slowly travel over my bra, resting on my exposed chest, then raising upwards towards my neck inch by bloody inch, then lifting up just enough to capture me eyes. Levent's eyes were the color of smoky quartz when he looked at me almost predatory, that I sucked in a deep breath. I looked down at myself seeing that my hands were still tightly bound with my shirt and blushed a crimson scarlet red, while his eyes lingered growing darker and smoky. Raising both of my arms to cover myself tears pin pricked behind the back of my eyes and threaten to spill out as my humiliation only grew. Levent quickly directed me up towards the stairs and followed suit closely behind me. I went into the bedroom alone leaving Levent to wait in the hallway for me. With his back resting up against the wall, his eyes lite up and a twinkling shine was in them. "Sorry." He mutter out that I raced in side shutting the door quickly behind me. _

_"Like hell you are." I snarled rudely back on the other side of the door, just to hear him let out a throaty laugh. What was it with this guy's over protectiveness that he felt it necessary to even follow me?" I found my red and black plaid shirt hanging up in the closet and ripped it off of the coat hanger quickly and snatched up the flimsy material in my hands, flinging my arms through the opening. When I came back down stairs, I smacked Levent's arm hard. "You could have told me." I accused glaring at him through the corner of my eye, then reaching over and shoving him into the wall. _

_"And miss the best of what young Mrs. Hathaway has to offer? I think not." He chuckled back with growing amusement lingering in his voice. "Beside you once asked me if I wanted a show and well that was my subtle way of saying yes." He whistled out taking the lead down the stairs, taking the steps, two and three at a time, before I could utter an accurate response. My face grew so red and hot, that I was sure you could fry an egg on it. _

_"Damn men" I hurled after him, when we entered the dinning room my eyes flickered nervously from Styles, Camilla, Serena, Christian and Gregory. My steps faltered and I took two steps back, then another two steps back and another. I didn't realize that I was backing away from the room until Levent's hand on my waist stopped me and I flinched from the unexpected contact. Dimitri's eyes locked onto both mine then to Levent's and his hand that was curled around his fork tightened into a fist and his other laid oddly at his side. The stoic mask that he wore was up in full force, but not before I saw him clenching his teeth as his jaw tightened and twitched under the pressure. Mom, Abe and Marian looked up with questioning puzzled looks on their faces, as they were waiting for some kind of answer, that I felt Levent give me another gentle push into their direction. I gulped trying to force air back into my starved lungs, from holding my breath for so long that I felt dizzy. Then swallowing hard and nearly choking as they all looked over and gestured for me to enter into the room with Levent. _

_"You can do this Rose." He urged giving me another little push. Looking over at my mom and at Abe, I nodded my head towards her and slowly walked into the dinning room taking a seat beside them both. "Welcome to feeling like a circus freak." I whispered as everyone's eyes burned a hole right through me, that my stomach flipped flopped and bile rose in my throat. _

_****Wishing all my fans, readers and just everyone out there, the very merriest of Christmas and the Happiest of New Years. I sure hope Santa treats every one right, because you all should get the biggest stocking full of joy and whatever your hearts desire. This chapter is my gift to you on this Christmas day! From my family to yours... Merry Christmas! Best wishes from your vamp friend Elfina****_


	35. Utterly Screwed

_"You sure know how to make an entrance." Mom said as she handed me the plate of waffles after I had taken my seat beside her and Abe. I took the plate forking out three buttery rich waffles that were golden brown,then accepting the dish with the fried eggs. "What can I say, I take after you in that department." I replied snarkly as I felt her take an exasperating breath, then taking a bite of the southern style fried eggs._

_After I had my plate loaded of rich meaty bacon. I looked at the food that I had stacked on my plate, wondering how I was going to choke the food down into my mouth much less be able to eat it. The whole idea of anything going into my mouth after what I did had me wanting to gag and was ready to push the now fully loaded plate off towards the side. "Damn the last time that I had eaten was when I had fed off of Lissa." The quiet voice in the back of my head whispered out that I shivered with the memory of it. With everyone watching me, my hand trembled as I cut a small piece of the waffle and lifted it towards my mouth, refusing to really see what was on the fork. Earlier this morning throwing the glazed donuts away that Dimitri had brought in wasn't so bad. At least he didn't suspect that I hadn't actually eaten them, however now everyone was expecting me to perform the gross task of inserting food into this mouth. A mouth that had taken lives, a mouth that had drained humans and Dhampir's of their life giving blood. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I took in the bite, luckily nobody had noticed excepted Dimitri, who only nodded his head slightly with approval. At least he wasn't calling me out on it.  
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_"I know that you don't know me Rose, but like I told you earlier. I'm here on the queen's behalf as well as the alchemists." I got the feeling that Marian wasn't the type to beat around the bush as she didn't seem to hesitate or draw a moments pause in her line of questions. Oddly her questions had very little to do with me being Strigoi, nor did she seem to care that I was struggling to eat much less not wanting to have conversation._

_"So what is you want from me?" I asked as I pulled my fork with eggs on it, towards my mouth again._

_"Did you know about princess Dragomir's sexual relation with ummm." She said clearing her throat as her eyes met Dimitri's."Guardian Belikov?" Her bluntness caught me off guard and my eyes widen in surprised as I was taken back, by the personal nature of her questioning, that immediately I started choking and coughing. I swallowed the eggs down wrongly, and starred at her wide eye. Grasping the cup of coffee by it's handle, that was in front of me and rapidly gulping it down in order to control the fit of coughs that were plaguing me. I gasped taking a strangled breath in. _

_"What did you say?" I asked out in the scratchiest of voices, dreading that she would seriously repeat that question to me again._

_ "This isn't an interrogation or charges against you Rose, but an inquisition against me." Dimitri replied so softly that the muscles in my shoulders tensed and twitched. I looked nervously back towards him, my eyes locking and holding his dark brown eyes, not really knowing what else to say. If this was class he would encourage me to cooperate and in fact Dimitri would be demanding my cooperation with any and all representatives to the queen. _

_"Mrs. Hathaway?" Marian said raising her voice slightly getting my attention once more, that I blinked back rapidly and looked back towards her. She had lost all pretenses of eating and her plate was pushed aside, while here hands and fingers were neatly folded and interlocked together. Marian was looking at me with those blues eyes expectantly, waiting patiently for an answer, that I didn't know if I would be able to give._

_"Yes... I knew about the two of them." I squeaked out then lowering my eyes from Dimitri's, towards the long grains of the wood on the table. My heart was thumping wildly in my chest as a fine coat of sweat began to build up on my brow. Never before had I ever been expected to talk about something so personal as I was being asked to now._

_"How long would you say their affair was going on?" When I raised my head to look at her, she had a notebook pad in her hand as well as a pen and was writing my answers down, one at a time. I flickered my eyes back to Dimitri and he looked at me nodding his head. His dark brown eyes looked piercingly back into mine, as he was silently commanding me to answer her. "Dammit he wanted me to talk to...this.. person." My brain screamed out. Why would he want me to? Why would he want me to answer any of her damn questions. Was this all some kind of sick twisted test?  
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_"When I ...I ugh...popped into Lissa head, she was talking to Dimitri and ugh...made the comment that they had been involved for months." I replied back icily never taking my eyes off of Dimitri the whole time. he looked back at me and there was so much in his eyes, from regret, to pain and even remorse, how much he was feeling towards me I wasn't sure of. When she had finished writing down my response. Marian written in the next question, her eyes lifting to look at mine. _

_Somewhere deep inside a volcano of emotions of unbridled rage started swirling around me, that I shoved the full plate of food aside, no longer interested in pretending to be hungry. I felt my mothers arm wrap around me offering what amount of comfort and support that she could. Where the hell had all of my loyalties gone? Why was I hanging them both out to dry? Dimitri yeah he had suffered enough after everything that I had done to him. Lissa oh my god Lissa after everything that I had put her through and all the horrific things that I made her see and witness through the eyes of a monster. I closed my eyes trying to calm my rattling thoughts as they kept shifting from one image to another. The shit that I had put them both through. Enough was enough already I thought absently missing the next question. Which had Dimitri raising his head as his thumbs pressed together as though he was twiddling them or playing a quiet game of war while he waited for an answer. _

_"Could you repeat the question." I squeaked out just barely getting the words to pass from my lips._

_"I asked you." Marian said in a softer voice, one that held some warmth, and a flash of understanding filtered into her eyes. "To tell me about the night that you had been awakened. More importantly the night that Mr. Belikov used the lust charm against you. _

_"That's enough." My mom hissed out as she felt every muscle tremble and began to shake. "My daughter has been through enough...and I'm here by the queen's request, offensive magic has been used illegally and your daughter was raped and latter awakened as a direct result from it." Marian said standing up so fast that the chair that she had been sitting in, went flying backwards. "As a mother I would think you would want justice." She said in a deadly quiet voice, that for the first time in my life, my mother guardian Janine Hathaway, bad ass extraordinaire actually back down. However I wasn't like my mother and damn sure wasn't able to handle much less control my feelings, whenever they surfaced, there wasn't any stopping them once those feelings started._

_"Mrs. Hathaway did Mr. Belikov use a lust charm ring against you... just stop it... stop it... stop it!" I snarled out rabidly, both of my hands curled around the tables edges. My arms were shaking so badly that without realizing what I was doing. I had gripped the table firmly with both hands and within seconds the table and everyone's food and drinks that were sitting on it went everywhere, flying up into the air and smashing down onto the floor, as the table sides crashed into the side of the wall. _

_I was shaking so hard as I glared down at Marian with hooded eyes, who was stunned into silence. That I lost track of all sanity and reason, and didn't feel Abe pulling me, along with Levent out of the room away from her. "Who the hell do you think you are?" I growled challenging back towards her, to where Gregory got out of the seat from where he had been sitting and came to her aid in the event that I might attack again. _

_"I repeat Mrs. Hathaway was a lust charm in fact used against you?" Marian demanded unswayed by my outburst or my show of forcefulness. If the bitch only knew what I wanted to do to her, she would tuck tail and run now, just to get as far away from me as possible, instead of sitting there looking so damn prim and proper." I thought menacing _

_"I don't owe you anything." I shouted pawing at both Levent and Abe's shoulders trying to get at her. I wanted to rip her hair out and pull her damn arms out of her sockets, just to hear the bones popping out of place. In short I wanted to tear her to pieces, one fleshy morsel at a time "Rosemarie get a hold of yourself." Abe said as he jerked on my arm in futile attempt to gain my attention to him. But at this moment the only thing that I could think of, much less feel was rage uncontrollable and unstoppable rage and it was all channeled at Marian.  
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_"I'm the queen's emissary and was sent here to see for myself on the queen's behalf, if a formal tribunal should be held in regards to Mr. Belikov's, illegal usage of offensive magic." Gregory at this point stood directly in front of her as though he was her soul protector, as though he honestly thought he could stop me from getting at her if I wanted. Which at this moment, ohhh hell yeah, I wanted a piece of that Moroi bitch and I wanted it now. "Who the hell are you...Yes I confess I did wear the lust charm ring." Dimitri voice rang out silencing the both of us, while I was physically removed from the room and dragged outside. _

_Even though I was being half dragged and half carried outside my instincts told me to fight and I managed to get Abe off of me with a quick jerk of my arm, freeing myself of his restraining hold, but Levent on the other hand was another story. My free hand curled tightly into a fist creaming into the one side of his jaw, but Levent wasn't even bothered much less phased from the punch, as we did this dance of where he tried pinning my hand down. _

_"__Rosemarie almak kendiniz altına kontrol."(__Rosemarie get yourself under control."__Instead I raised it again clocking him even harder in the jaw this time and heard the bones popping, whether from my knuckles or his jaw, I wasn't sure. Before I could swing my fist a third time,__I was promptly grabbed around my waist and was air borne in mere seconds. Hitting the waves full force and choking on sea water. Every time my head would break surface my fists swung out wildly again, until my head was forcefully shoved back under the water. A few seconds latter Levent would let go and my head would bob back up towards the surface. Again I tried throwing out my fists into his direction and my head was plunged back down choking on the third round of salty sea water. I felt myself drowning as my arms and limbs grew tired of fighting, that I could know longer throw a punch much less lift my arms. My eyes grew heavy as did much of the rest of my body, when strong arms broke through the surface of the waves and reached down and pulled me out from the waters. Coughing and sputtering, gasping for air. Levent dropped me down on the sandy turf and knelt down beside me, resting back on his knee's. My body was racked with tremors and shaking spasms, that I curled up on my side gasping for air. _

_"I...thought...I...thought." I wheezed out shaking my head as I paw at the ground in front of me, trying to crawl on all four. "She was here …..to mark my progress."_

_"She is... Marian just wants to help you." Abe said as he squatted down in front of me, when his fingers went to move the fallen hair away from my eyes. I smacked his hand away from me, not wanting him or anyone else touching me._

_"That wasn't helping me old man. That was...I don't know what the hell you would call that." I sneered out as I crawled even further away from him and Levent. _

_"I would say it was my whole line of questioning. Wouldn't you agree Mrs. Hathaway?" When I looked up, her cream yellow blouse lightly fluttered in the breeze, as I stared down at her black heeled pumps. My insides twisted into knots as her voice played hell with my emotions, drawing out the worst in me. I bit down hard on my tongue drawing even more blood just to keep from telling that bitch how I felt about her and her damn line of questions. _

_"Marian I think Rose has had enough for one night. Unless you really want to see her lose control again." Levent deadly quiet warning, urged her to leave well enough alone. I just hope and prayed she had a little bit of common sense to listen to him, before myself control snapped completely which at this point, I wasn't sure if it wouldn't any way._

_"Fine I'll let the subject drop for now, but I still need a full undisclosed statement from her." She said pointing her finger down towards me that I resisted the urge to lunge at her again, just to break the damn thing off. _

_"I'll will also be notifying...you tell Queen Tatiana that she still owes me for saving her life." I hissed out as I rolled up onto my side managing to get my feet, then firmly planted them in front of me. "And I aim to collect...you got that." I whispered in a strangled voice as I finally got my footing back under me and stood up. _

_"Mrs. Hathaway I don't scare off easily. Nor am I the intimidating type...It's Rose you over bearing bitch. Not Mrs anything and I don't intimidate." I growled out meeting her level blues eyes that looked back at me unflinchingly, as she held her ground full of confidence. She was brave I had to give her that. But Marian was also stupid, as she really didn't know who she was dealing with. Then again maybe she did know and just didn't care either way she was very very stupid._

_I could have you confined... quarantined if necessary." She said keeping her face heavily guarded from me. Slamming my shoulder hard into her chest, as I slowly brushed past her. Marian was literally knocked towards the side, out of my way as I went by her. _

_"Do what you got to do... I didn't ask for you to be here." I threw out over my shoulder and headed back towards the house, refusing to look in anyone's direction that I passed._

_When I went back inside Styles,Camille and Serena were talking with my mother. They were all whispering about something, that I assumed was about me and became very quiet when I entered the room. Clinching my fists down at my sides I rolled my eyes and looked towards the railing of the stairs. Climbing the staircase up towards my bedroom, as I looked further up towards the last level of the upstairs. I saw a light shining through the cracks from under the doorway and pushed my way into the small circular room. It was the top main floor surrounded in windows. In the center of the room almost shaped like a candle was a wick that had been lite and the smell of kerosene filled the air. Another door was opened to what looked like an outside balcony. I followed around the small circular room towards it. My breath caught as a single beam of light from the room shot outwards across the vast horizon of waves. When I stepped outside, I was stupefied as the ocean seemed to be all around me as I looked at the rolling waters below. They swirled and banged violently into themselves, spraying sea foamed waters against the rocks of the peer. You could see mammoth sizes waves and picture ships and boats not to far away as they trudge along the ocean's depths._

_"Did you know that she was coming?" I asked smelling the rich smelling cologne over the salty air._

_"Yes." When I looked towards my right Dimitri was sitting in a large wooden chair that was pressed up against the lighthouse window, a small white wooden table was close by, along with a second and third chair for viewing the scenery of the waves and of the island. On the other side of him was Christian who looked at me and cracked just a faintest traces of a grin. But to call it a full blown smile was an over statement as he nodded his head towards me. _

_"Hey Christian." I said wearily as I pulled up a seat between the two and shook my head at him, as I rested my hand on top of Christian's hand. He cupped it with his other hand, as he took a deep breath just to slowly release it. His pale icy sea blue eyes looked longingly out towards the waves as though he was just as lost as I was. "Hey yourself, I bet you didn't expect to be in this mess when you woke up this afternoon." He said taking another deep breath. Instead of responding I exhaled slowly and sank further back into my chair, feeling like the two men that I was sitting between... utterly screwed._


	36. It's Over Load

_Minutes ticked by and seconds rattled away, as my mind jumped back and forth between Marian's questions and Dimitri, openly confessing the way that he did. What hit me even harder, was I could just feel that he wanted to be punished, he wanted to be held accountable and somehow he was the one making it happen. I might sure as hell not be able to prove it, but somehow I doubted that Marian had gotten here on her own. Just what the hell was Dimitri up too now?  
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_You're right." I admitted "I sure as hell didn't expect that." I replied, feeling Christian watching me, that I squeezed his hand a little tighter, as though he was lending me his strength. "You could have at least warned me or you could have said, that I was going to be grilled alive in there, with that she demon. " I said pointing towards the doorway.  
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"_I was advised not too" Dimitri said with a frustrated, aggravating sigh, my heart pounded away at the implication "Because that would be witness tampering and that alone carries a charge in itself...by who?" I asked cutting Dimitri off. "Who told you that" I hissed back and my heart sped up even more.  
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"_By my aunt's attorney Reese." _Christian answered back, when Dimitri didn't, I bit down hard on my bottom lip. Why the fuck was he clamming up like this. Dimitri never withheld valuable information from me before and the fact that he was doing so now, caused my heart to pound away even harder in my chest._ "He's very knowledgeable in this matter. My aunt even said so." Christian finished that I shook my head and looked back at him wide eyed. "Stupid...stupid Rose... you should have seen that one coming." The silent voice in my head snickered out._

"_You've been punished enough for what happened that night." I replied shocking myself, I never thought that I could ever bring myself to forgive him, but somehow I already had. "I don't really see the need of it going any further then that." I replied slinking my head into my hands, my eyes quickly darted away from my fingers. My head spun wildly as I saw his blooded coated on my fingers and running down my hands. How many times would I have to see Dimitri's blood on them? How many times would I have to hear him, gasping for air, as he told me that he had loved me. It was a fucking nightmare reliving his death over and over, that I hated closing my eyes. Hell I couldn't make up my mind, if I was numb, scared, pissed off or what. I couldn't get a handle to what I was feeling, because I had been numb for too damn long. Some small part of me just wanted my life back to feel normal again. Whatever the hell normal was. Most of all I wanted to be left alone, that was it. I wanted to be left alone. Was that to much to ask of anybody? Apparently it was because that Marian bitch was here._

"_Hey." Christian said shaking my hand and snapping me away from my thoughts, that I raised my eyes looking back into his. "It will be okay, my aunt thought you would feel this way, that's why she ordered Reese to help." Somehow seeing his aunt helping Dimitri out in a jam like this, was the fucking icing on the cake and, made me laugh. Not just any kind of laugh either, my insides hurt from the side splitting gut wrenching laughter. Don't ask me where the insane laughter was coming from, but I couldn't hold it back for nothing. Pushing myself out of my seat and hastily making it towards the railing. I laughed so hard that I stumbled into the railing and my face hurt, from staying that way for so long. _

_Tears started streaming down my cheeks, as I tried blinking them back and looking at the blurry water down below. The laughter kept steadily building, climbing higher and higher from me, growing louder and louder in size, to where it had unnerved both of the guys. So much that Christian let go of my hand and well Dimitri, whatever he was thinking caused him to stiffen up rigidly into his chair. When suddenly he made a beeline out of it and pulled me into his arms trying to comfort me. Right Tasha helping Dimitri out of the goodness of her heart._

"_More like she's helping you to help herself." I snorted and chuckled again and getting very strange looks from Christian. While I buried my face into Dimitri chest and tried fighting back the endless sea of tears, that were soaking his shirt. _Even though I was trapped in Dimitri's massive arms, hearing his beating heartbeat against my ear. _Tears pooled out of my eyes, that I felt Dimitri's hesitant fingers, lightly graze my skin and touch the back of my neck, cradling my head towards him, as though to keep me there. Like I was some small frightened child and he was my knight and shinny armor, here to save the day. If only he could...if only he could.___

_ At the moment I felt very much like a frightened child in need of saving, as I gripped his shirt tightly in both hands into tightly bunched up curled fists, and hanging on for dear life. God why couldn't I just get my shit together? One part of me needed this, needed to be held and comforted. While another part of me was screaming with confusion, from all the different feelings that were fighting within me to surface._

"_Well at least she trying to help!" Christian replied more defensively, that I shook my head. If this was going to get serious and that Marian chick seemed hell bent in making it that way, then he would need all the help that he could get._

"_I'm sorry, any help that your aunt could help lend. I'm grateful for." I told him truthfully meaning every word. I knew Tasha would champion Dimitri with every breath in her. The knowledge however didn't sit well with me, but he really needed to move on. Maybe with Tasha help, Dimitri could finally let go of the past and move on with his life. _

"_I'm okay now... really I'm fine... you can let me go now." Dimitri's hold on me tightened, even more while I tried wiggling and squirming out of his restraining hold._

"_Your not alright just look at you, your a mess and the more you keep acting like you are okay, the more that you convince me, that your not." I hated it when Dimitri right, but hearing him say that I wasn't alright, sure as hell wasn't making me feel any better either. I needed a distraction, anything just to get his mind off of me and more so onto him. _

"_Why did do it. Why did you confess...why did you even want me talking to her. I saw it in your eyes, you wanted me to talk to Marian...let me go dammit...let go of me" I snarled out as I was battling Dimitri long powerful arms that seemed to wrap me even closer towards him. _

_"Because it was the right thing to do. I knew going into this, there were bound to be some consequences...I just didn't count on you being awakened, as one of them...because of me... you lost your soul... because of me you killed Mikhail and turned Eddie." Suddenly dropping his hands down towards his sides, I stumbled back and Dimitri look disbelieving back at me, that my stomach knotted up, now that the laughing fits were passing and reality was setting in I felt sick, more then sick." Rolling his eyes,Dimitri stiffened up even more. His jaws locked into that well rehearsed stoic mask of his, that only he could pull off so well. However the pain that I saw briefly, flash behind his rich deep brown eyes, said a million things, that his mouth wouldn't. _

"_By me pretending to be somebody that I'm not...you lost your soul." Dimitri growled out that my mouth snapped quickly shut and I forced down a strangle breath. "And I wish to hell that I could take that back...I wish I could somehow take that pain away from you." Just a few moments ago I wanted nothing more then to run. I wanted nothing more then to go somewhere and hide and lick my wounds, to hide away from the world and now that Dimitri arms weren't around me anymore. I suddenly felt cold, chilled down to the bone, even deeper then that. I was chilled to the core of my being._

"_I think that's my cue to leave." Christian said getting up to his feet._

"_Don't go far." I murmured out and he nodded his head in agreement._

"_So what's going to happen now?" I rushed out as the prospects of what happened, between Dimitri and myself becoming public record, for everyone back at home to hear and read about, just scared the living hell out of me. Having to testify against him, no...no...no! Somehow I just didn't think that I could do it, regardless of what Marian said, much less Dimitri._

_"I'll pay for my crimes and for what I did to you." He said softly and walked off of the deck of the lighthouse and going back inside, leaving me alone with the ghost's of that night._

_Blinking hard and fast I felt and could hear his insides moving around on my hands once more, again my mind replayed his graphic death, with me holding the ring that Oksana had given me. Along with the lust charm necklace, that Victor had used on us both, while Dimitri took in his last dying breath. "You already did...I made you pay for what happen that night." I sobbed out into the empty space, knowing full well, that Dimitri was already gone. Walking back down towards the chairs, I plopped down into one in a heap, holding my head into my hands. "You already did." I whispered once more knowing, he know longer heard me. I must have been there for hours, because dawn's warming gentle sunlight's golden rays caressed my face almost affectionately. One shimmering ray peaking into the sky after the other, chasing away the darkness that had engulfed me. _

_"Rose...Rose come on honey." Mom soft soothing voice called out, to her I must of looked like hell because I felt her hands on my shoulders, pulling me up towards her, then leading me back down the lighthouse stairwell towards my room. Mom pulled back the comforter like she would if I had been young. I didn't need to speak it was evident, she already knew what I was thinking. How many times in the past had she blown me off and now she was here knowing what I was thinking and even if I didn't know what the hell I was feeling. Mom somehow knew that I felt like shit on the inside.  
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_When my head drop onto the pillow my mind and body fell into an exhausted sleep. Peace for the time being, took away the pain and any lingering thoughts of Dimitri going to trial, much less being sentenced. The bleakness of the darkened world, were even dreams doesn't enter tugged and pulled drastically. Colors of blues, reds, greens, yellows, honey dew melons of orange, lit up the darkness, as though they were musical notes, filled the emptiness of the space around me. Great I mused out, aware this was another spirit dream. I crossed my arms over my chest, and watched the spectacular musical harmony of colors, that were floating in around me._

_ Land capes formed and tress of pine, oak, juniper and maple surrounded me. Long stemmed leaves of red, yellow and orange blotted out the sunlight, even though some of the yellowish golden rays, cracked in between some of the long lavished leaves. Turning to the right of me was a wide slow moving river that divided up the forestry of trees that I was surrounded in. High blades of plush green grass covered the forest floors, along with pine needles. What really caught my attention were the delicate petals of wild flowers of long stemmed yellow roses, mixed with lightly dusted lavender, and the palest of blush roses. Every color of pansies that I remembered ever seeing in my lifetime, were also here in this garden._

_"You can come out anytime now." My voice rang out and my eyes wildly searched around me. Fidgeting even more, my arms tightened around my chest._

_"Well that wasn't the welcome that I was expecting...and neither is you constantly interrupting my time of shut eye either." I grumbled back. Damn Adrian, for bringing me here. I mean come on, if he doesn't want to be with me, then fine he doesn't want to be with me. I could at least learn to live with that...damn rejection was a bitch. When he stepped out from behind a juniper tree, slowly swaggering over towards me. I blinked rapidly trying to focus on my surroundings and then back on him. Hell this just so wasn't right and he knew it and let out a light carefree chuckle from my obvious starring. _

_Adrian had alone blade of grass, nestled between his teeth, my eyes couldn't help but drink in the sight of him. Dressed in a green collared sports v-cut tee shirt and a black blazer jacket. Adrian's already messy hair had been slicked back, just giving him that rich, bad boy repiore and vibe feel to him. With those never ending sea of emerald green eyes, twinkling and shinning beseechingly back at me. _

_I nervously swallowed the hard forming lump, in that back of my throat. God I was in so much trouble here...so much trouble. Adrian was setting the trend, damn the way that he looked in his black slacks and his shirt tucked in outlining his maleness, had me ogling him on the spot. He looked so hot that a tremble had formed in the lower base of my back, spreading warmth upwards into my face, that I looked quickly away. Looking that good should have been outlawed ages ago._

_"You were starring little Dhampir." Adrian said with a slowing moving cocky smile stretching across his lips, that I couldn't take my eyes away from him. How had I missed this before? How had I not notice all the little sexy appeals of him? _

_"You look as beautiful as always little Dhampir, but you seem to have a problem with your eyes, did you forget how to blink? Do you need to take a picture, it will last longer... here let me give you a camera." Just to be his pompous ass self, Adrian cradled in his outstretched hand, held out a camera towards me, which I glowed back at him._

_"Well if you would make it a habit of seeing me for real at the lighthouse. I wouldn't need to stare... now would I? I'm so tired of doing this...I don't want to see you here, in the fucking land of make believe...I want to see you... the real you and not this." I shot back quickly and annoyed, once more, he was going to play this hot and cold game with me, that I just didn't want to play it anymore. Feeling the coldness coming from me, he eyed me even closer _

_"I'm sorry little Dhampir, believe it or not I want to see you too... believe me. I could use the full view of your sexy ass to, but this fucking land of make believe as you call it, is all we've got at the moment. Things are very complicated between us right now...yeah I know... I know." I rolled my eyes back at him and leaned over towards the ground and scooping up some rocks into my hands, just to start chucking them down the beaten trail. _

_"Spirit that's, what you keep saying... it's spirit's after glow... you keep repeating it like a broken fucking record, but I don't care if it's spirit or not. Am I not entitled to have what I want? Or do you get to make all the rules like Dimitri did for me...and well... yeah you saw how well those rules worked out." I said flinging another pebble hard into the distance. _

_When I looked over Adrian had stopped walking, which had also made me stop. When I looked over my shoulder, his eyes had narrowed and flattened on me, turning cold even downright harsh. _

_"Yeah, unfortunately for us all, we all got to pay the price for people making up their own fucking rules and taking what they want." I had it... I had it, every guy seemed to be able to make all the decisions as though my voice didn't even count. Let's keep our relationship a secret Roza, because it will interfere with our charges, or we won't be able to do our jobs right...blaugh...blaugh...blaugh. The last guy, that had actually let me... be me and make my own calls, was Mason and he wasn't even here now._

_"What are you doing here Adrian? I mean... I expect life zen lesson's from Dimitri... but I sure as hell didn't expect them from you...maybe a little love, some comforting here and there, but sure as hell not preaching! Church isn't even in service today." Taking the last of the stones and throwing them, they scattered into every direction, one bounced off of a tree, another skipped and rolled down the trail_

_"Well here's a little zen lesson for you Rose... we are all suffering the sins, of the fucking past! So maybe you just need to chill out...That's it." My brain screamed out and I whirled around on Adrian so fast, he didn't really see it coming, until it was all to late. Shoving him forcefully hard into a nearby tree, which caught him off guard, Adrian hissed in a deep breath. _

_"Let me out of here right now... you understand me... I growled feeling what little control that I barely had slipping and fading away. "I don't want to hurt you, so let me out of here and end this dream world now." I snarled back into his darkening emerald green eyes. We were face to face and nose to nose, any space that had separated us, was now long gone. That's when it happened just as fast as his emeralds eyes had darkened from looking so deeply into my eyes, then rashly looking down towards my lips. Adrian hastily licked his lips, for a second or two, that my breath caught and held. His mouth, ohh lord that incredible mouth of his followed suit. Adrian warm eager lips were on mine in a single flash which, made my heartbeat speed up, into wild racing stallions. Hammering away wildly into my chest, as both of my hands snaked up around his neck and my fingers threading into his wiry hair. I groaned out deeply and needfully back into his mouth, and his lips burned and crashed into mine until they parted for him. I was losing myself into him, Adrian was being just as affected, as I was. Fire intense fire burned and raged on behind his lips. When our tongues met, his deep throaty moan rumbled deeply off of his chest, which only spurred me on even more. Adrian's hands that had been splayed loosely down at his sides, were now engulfing around my back, bringing even more intense flames within every touch and caress, while his fingertips pressing longingly into my sides, drawing me even closer._

_ This was what I had wanted, a sharping moan surfaced again, as I pressed myself even closer to him and making his breathing hitch even more. Just as fast as it had happened, Adrian was slowing things down really fast between us, though not really breaking contact, and by not letting the kiss deepened anymore then what it already had either. Which was only fueling my own frustrations even more. Silently I wanted to scream out loud at him, when his lips had finally left mine and his beautiful emeralds look back at me. I blinked harshly away and slowly dropped my hands back down to his shoulders. _

_Did I say rejection was a bitch, because she had just slapped me back again, and I had to try just as hard, as I could not to lose it in front of him. "I'm sorry little Dhampir I... I didn't mean to ..." He shook his head trying to calm down and regain some of his composure. Don't you dare." I said shakily into almost a whisper and pulled away from him. To see even more rejection in his eyes, was more then I could bare and hurt even more. _

_"Don't you dare even apologize, for that... because I wanted... no... I needed that kiss, just as much as you did." I choked in a strangled voice. Adrian's eyes filled with pain, as though he was feeling the same misery, as I was. The only difference was, I had been that close... that fucking close to making him cave in and he knew it. _

_"We need to talk for a minute. Can you listen for a little while...just for a little while and then if you still want to go... I'll let you go." Adrian promised, as I back away from him and feeling very much burned, that I just nodded my head. I didn't trust myself to speak anymore, I had already gone and made a complete fool of myself once and I wasn't about to do it again. With my fingertips, I retraced my lips that still burned, as though he was still kissing me. I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled deeply, while mentally I kicked myself...he doesn't want you." Said the quiet voice, which for whatever reason enjoyed repeating itself again. It's just spirit, it whispered. God almighty I could still feel his lips on me, as though they were still burning a path of fire against mine...and according to him... it's just spirit's after glow... right!_

_"Eddie is still caged up in my aunt's jail." Adrian said after a few moments after we both had gotten ourselves somewhat back under control. I hissed out a deep breath and inhaled deeply allowing him to finish. In all my excitement to see Adrian, I had completely forgotten to ask about Eddie. _

_"Ohh god." I groaned out "It wasn't his fault, he was awakened... if anyone deserves to be locked in a cell...it should be me." I replied back so quickly, as my growing guilt took root. "Is there anyway that he could come here?" I asked raising my eyes back to his._

_"Afraid not little Dhampir and it gets better... what now?" I asked rather loudly knowing it was mere seconds before I would lose it completely. I was becoming nothing more then a ticking time bomb about to explode, with every push, slam and whatever else was being hurled at me next._

_"You already know my aunt sent both Gregory and Marian to the lighthouse. Rose." He said in an agonizing tight voice that cracked on my name. Rubbing his forehead over the bridge between his eyes ruefully with his hand. I literally hated whatever he was going to say next. "She plans on making an example out of Dimitri and she's going after everyone who was involved in his illegal usage of offensive magic. My aunt wants whoever was responsible in even giving Dimitri, that kind of magic in the first place... So she plans on crucifying him." I finished out so blatantly, that I stumbled back and fell on my rump. _

_"Yeah.. it's something like that." Adrian said as he knelled down beside me. I was so numb that my mind couldn't think of anything else. I saw Yeva's warm face flash before my eyes along with Olena's and Oksana's. The queen was going to go after Dimitri's family, good people who had taken me in as one of their own. My second family. _

_"No." I said back barely in a whisper that nearly choked me. "Please...Adrian...you have to help me...she can't." I begged. I knew what I was asking for and god help me, whether it was wrong or not that was beside the point. "Please find someway...please."I asked once more. Adrian's emerald green eyes darkened once more, and he gave a gentle nod. _

_ "There's even more." He added, shocking me into utter silence. How much fucking more could there be? My mind screamed out, as I was on over load and felt totally mind fucked._

_"Serena." Adrian mouth out, that I slowly looked up at Adrian, as though I was looking at a stranger. "She's been spotted just outside of the wards, while Stan and Alberta were doing their perimeter sweeps of the courts grounds._

_Getting back to my feet and rubbing my arms rapidly with my hands to create some warmth. An icy chill covered and spread along my bare arms, as goose bumps suddenly appeared over my skin. Serena was going to make a play for Lissa, with the bests guardian's here, well the only ones that I consider the best, were here with me. Lissa was virtually defenseless and Serena knew it. Her small army comprised of nothing but guardian's and she had one hell of a vendetta against Lissa. With both Dimitri and myself out of the picture, nothing was going to stop her._

_"Where is Jill?" I asked asked out loud as my mind was formulating whatever plan Serena might have had planned for her._

_"She's been sticking close to Lissa...what?" I yelled shocking Adrian so much that he instinctively took a step back when he raised back up to his feet. _

_"You heard me... she's been staying close to Lissa. Their inseparable, nearly conjoined at the hip. I couldn't believe this. I had told Dimitri closing my eyes I was shocked, he hadn't believed me, then again when I had woken up and told him about Jill, he had lost any and all creditability in me, when I bolted from the bedroom. Dimitri had never made the call to warn the others._

_"The night that I was restored...Yes." Adrian said looking at me even closer and putting a hand on my arm, that I shook my head absently, as a sinking feeling rose up in the pit of my stomach._

_"The dead animals... the bloody writing on the cafeteria walls...they were all from Jill. She's Lissa's half sister as well as Serena's. Jill been in cahoots with Serena's plans from the very get go. Serena and Jill I hesitated taking a deep breath and pushing it back out before I could speak again. "Their both plotting their revenge against Lissa and there's really no one back at court to stop them." I finished out in a rush. God I had to tell Dimitri and Levent. Even if I couldn't help her, they could I just knew that they would. 'if anyone can help Lissa... it's Eddie! Get him out of that cell." I demanded. _


	37. The Five And Dime Store

_"Don't worry... I'll do whatever I can... in both matters." Adrian told me in his cocky usual self, that I relaxed slightly, and refused to give into the temptation, of just going all out nuts. _

_"And what about the other one...us?" I asked refusing to give an inch, even for a moment. If Adrian Ivashkov thought for even a single second, he was off the hook; well I just wasn't living up to my name! So, was I asking for heartache...yeah in spades, because he was just going to shoot me down again, misery...just loves company and, one more time, my damn foolishness would take the beating...if it meant Adrian was here with me... then hell yes... my pride would easily pay the price a second time around. _

_It wasn't until I felt the warmth of his arms encircling me again. While those glorious loving hands and fingertips of his drawing invisible patterns across my spine, re-sparking the kindling flames in every single heavenly touch and silken caress. Just looking into the depths of his gorgeous emerald greens, had renewed a fevered passion of scorching fire in their wake,__ that my breath hissed out and Adrian eyes widening with longing._

_"Ahhh, you are tempting, so excruciatingly tempting, little Dhampir."He said softly as he gazed into my eyes "As much as I like your sexy ass all over me, I have a deal for you." He told me in an all serious voice, while his hand lifted up and smoothing the hairs out my eyes. I leaned into his hand pressing my forehead in more into his questing fingers." Prove to me that you can be you again." Damn him; here we go with the spirit afterglow shit again. "Go back to the gym...God knows I've always liked seeing you in those sexy ass shorts of yours." His cocky little panty dropping smirk had me getting weak-kneed, that my own hands slid comfortable around his waist for support. _

_"Let Dimitri train you back to the Rose Hathaway we know and love, the badass Hathaway that takes names and asks questions later. Let cradle robber work out the kinks." As Adrian raised his eyebrows up and down with his double meaning._ _ I gulped hard, not even sure if I heard him correctly;__ he just didn't say that to me did he? _

_"I'm not sure I follow." I said tilting my head off to the side, just to make sure that he wasn't clowning around with me again. This had to be a simple case of misunderstanding going on. "What kinks Adrian...just what are you trying to get at... much less, what does this have to do with Dimitri? Please Do explain." I replied out almost in shock as my fingers thrummed along the base of my arm back and forth. Surly he was joking. _

_"Let me see if I can compete with cradle robber fair and square." Adrian quietly asked, as he leaned forward nuzzling his lips along my temple and jawline, tracing an invisible trail with slow hot open mouth kisses. My eyes momentarily fluttered shut and my body trembled, with his _persuasion_. While the back on his hand caressed my upper and lower arm, bringing goosebumps to my skin. Ohh man was this so not fair, that he could use my own weaknesses of him against me. "If you still want me when the real badass Hathaway steps forward, then were on!" He replied seriously and pulled back away from me. I took in a deep strangled breath, which was coming into spurts, while Adrian looked just as intense at me for a second, curling his lips into a wicked grin once more._

_"That's not fair... in fact that's__ kinda like cheating! I don't want him." I said rolling my eyes, just as fast as Adrian had pulled me close to him. I tried backing away. He wanted me to date Dimitri... ohh my god... what the hell was he thinking?_

_"Prove it, I dare you. But if that day comes, then, baby you better be damn sure and prepared to have your world rocked, because you are not going to know what hit you." He said slapping my ass with a playful little smirk, my body jerked backwards in surprise, from the light stinging that followed._

_"You're an ass...you know that?" I snorted in disgust. Was he kidding? He just fucking dared me! How in the hell was I supposed to say no to that! Anyone and everyone knew that I didn't back down from a dare. Here Adrian had just issued one, and included Dimitri in it... jeez even made him apart of it. What the hell was the world coming to, when I would live to see the day, when Adrian decided to call in the big Russian. In what should have been a conversation about only us. No leave it to Adrian to be the kinky one and make it a happy go lucky three some. God I was royally screwed._

_"Come on little Dhampir prove me wrong."He said raising a single sexy eyebrow at me"Show me you are the real Hathaway that I know and love,__ and take my dare" He pleaded slightly._

_The heat fanned and rushed to my face, while my cheeks flamed hotly red by his crazy, outlandish suggestion. "You're disturbed... you know that don't you? Most guys hate the thought of their girlfriends being with another guy. And your... daring me?" I said throwing my hands up into the air. "Are you fucking mental?_

_"Well we all know I__'m a little crazy little Dhampir, that's not in question." He said with a roll of his eyes. "But for me to know that all this is real, I need to know that Belikov is gone. Once and for all. We tried it your way the last time remember?" He asked cocking his eyebrow at me, immediately I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and shook my head. Yeah I remembered. Adrian didn't deserve what I had done to him, making him write up all the reasons why we should date as though it was some kind of SA, then bailing on him to go chasing after Dimitri.  
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_Dahhh... you don't see me wanting to be all over him at this moment?... Now do you? I taunted back he was crazy I couldn't do what Adrian was purposing. This whole idea of his was nuts, he was even nuttier for even suggestion it. "And if he hurts me again…" I said folding my arms over my chest, glowering back at him needing to give Adrian as much of the cold shoulder, as I possibly could. "You forget he slept with Lissa!_

_"I'm not saying I want to see you fucking his brains out ...but I do know one thing ... if anyone can get the real badass Hathaway to stand up and join the party... as much as I hate to say this...its Belikov. And… if I know that you are back to the person I know you to be…__ and still standing here in front of me declaring your undying love. Then you can bet your sweet ass, I will jump you like a monkey on a fucking pogo stick"_

_ Without even realizing my head started bouncing just like that pogo stick going up and down like what he had been talking about. I smacked myself hard between the eyes once to clear all the graphic images, that began flashing in front of my eyes, of the cartoon_ _characters moving up a down. I groaned out loudly. "Really a fucking pogo stick Adrian?" _

_He flashed his devious smile as that cheesy ass grin spread even more on his face, that I reached over and popped him hard across the arm. Adrian laughed that rich laugh of his. "Ow, damn that hurt! But that pogo stick sounds like a fucking blast!"_

_"Adrian, dammit I'm trying to be serious here." I exhaled deeply, as I shook those images away and new ones formed of Dimitri and Lissa being together and me seeing them in the throws of passion, showing all that they had to the almighty above. Great now I'm thinking of church again._

_"Okay, Okay my bad. I'm sorry, I'm listening." He said wearily and combed his hair with his fingers, he was getting just as sick on this conversation, as I was. Yet here we were beating this thing into the ground, like a freaking dead horse.  
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_ "You forget he slept with my friend...sister whatever Lissa was back then!" I replied softly as I walked away from him. "You just expect that it all goes back to the way that it was before? What if I don't want that? I've been straight with you. I haven't played any games." I said jabbing my thumb into my chest. "And just li__ke that... you just want me to forget?_

_"I never said to forget it all, little Dhampir. He shook his head at me as if to say I misunderstood him. "All I want is the strong, independent, confident, self-assured, Rose that I know to be the one standing before me. You are not completely back to yourself after all that you have gone through! Even you can admit that. I want you! GOD how I want you! But I want the real you! Dammit Rose, prove it to me." Adrian said nearly pushing through his frustration level and pulled out a pack of his clove cigarettes. Then lighting one up and expelling the grayish smoke. With the longing look radiating within his eyes, he wished for something much stronger then the cigarette he was smoking. Poor Adrian was completely at wits end with me that my heart nearly burst out of my chest, as my hands itched burned with the need to comfort him. He shoved his hands into his pants pocket of his black slacks, exposing even more of his green collard tee shirt, that my eyes couldn't help but follow. "I want to be yours... I truly do." He said in a more hoarse voice, he had to clear his throat. "But only if you can prove to me you are back 100 %! The Rose I know is a kick ass guardian! The best damn guardian in the fucking world! She … would take my dare! That's just one more thing that proves you're not ready yet." He said turning his back on me. I could see the frustration building in him more tha__n ever now. _

_With that I hung my head down letting his words really sink in, while kicking the pine needles and gravel in front of me with my right shoe. Maybe I had become less in his eyes from what I once was, but had I really changed so much? "Fine...I'll take this little stupid dare of yours... but I have some conditions of my own." I__ rushed out all at once. I was completely baffled that I was remotely considering even doing this...this _perposterios_ notion of his.  
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_"Really?" he said with a smirk looking allot like the cat who had swallowed the fucking canary, while him emerald greens sparkled back triumphantly towards mine. "Please enlighten me…__" He asked as if he thought I was blowing smoke._

_"First no more talk of spirit afterglow... and what you think you may pretend to know on how I'm feeling... where you're concerned." I said jabbing him in the chest, with index my finger making my point._

_"Okay I think I can curtail my ramblings…__AND what pray tell is your second condition?" He said nervously with a little cocky smirk, but__ not sure if he really wanted to know what the second condition was.  
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_"Secondly, I want to see you...the real you and not this!" I said waving my hand around us. "If I have to spend hours in the gym with Dimitri then...then..." I said shaking my head at the unbelievable stupid agreement that I was making with him that ugh...I just wanted to hit something. "I expect real time with you as well. No cheap shots either, with bogus excuses of you being too busy or some half ass Adrian made up crap." I huffed out in annoyance. God who would ever thought getting the guy of your dreams would be so fucking complicated. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut for a couple of seconds and took in a few more deep calming breaths. " Just breath." I told myself quietly. "You can get through this, you stake Strigoi's for a living. Dealing with one spoiled rich royal Moroi, really couldn't be any worse."  
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_Adrian got a bit of a panicked look on his adorable face, looking as though his heart just jumped up a notch at the thought of being physically close to me for undisclosed amounts of time. Wondering how on earth he would handle that, nervously he eyed me trying to figure how to squirm out of that one. With huge reservations and hesitation he agreed. "Fine, I will figure it out somehow." he said cryptically,__not committing to anything specific._

_"No those are my conditions. If you can make some rules, then so can I. This time dammit, I'm not being cheated." I grinned knowing full well I had him over a barrel on this one. With a renewed sense of pride and accomplishment. I looked over giving Adrian my best man eating smile. "It's your game Adrian." I purred out slowly. "Don't you wanna play?" I asked in an award winning smirking voice._

_"Oh it'__s on, little Dhampir, its soo on." With the look Adrian had plastered on his face, the slight quivering of his bottom lip, that smirked suggestively back towards me, as though I had bitten off more then I could chew. I really couldn't tell if he was merely flirting, stepping up to the challenge of his own dare or if it was simply one of hunger, predatory in nature. Either way his reaction had my breath sharpening and my body tingled with just the thought. Ohhh how wrong I was. This little dare of Adrian's was going to be real interesting, just to see how long he could go denying what he wanted most. I sure as hell wasn't about to make it as simple as it could of been on him. When a thought crossed my mind, one that I bet even the great Adrian had over looked. I highly doubted he had even spoken to Dimitri, much less gotten him to agree with his plans.  
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_"_I betcha Dimitri will never go for it." I mused in a half smile now suddenly full of confidence that his plan was going to fail. Right Dimitri playing Adrian's little game...he couldn't stand Adrian anymore, then Adrian could stand Dimitri. Nahhh Dimitri he was above all this childish bullshit. I could almost picture him saying in his deep Russian accent. How immature this kind of reckless behavior was. Even more so hearing his mentoring voice chastising me for even giving this crazy idea of his any thought at all. Then like a flip of the switch, Dimitri would pour out some of those life zen lessons of his, saying something like do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Dimitri even would go as far to say somebody would walk away from an experience like this, being all hurt or scar for life kinda speech.__

__"Or do you plan on compelling him into playing?" I asked all sweetly and batting my eye lashes at Adrian.__

_When the dream word flicked Adrian looked around seeing his magic becoming unstable, with one lasting caress of his hand, grazing softly over my face. He gave one more smile, only it wasn't filled with his normal bubbly sexy self, kind of smiles. No this one seemed a little sad like he knew something that I didn't._

_"Don't worry about Belikov I'll take care of him...you just remember my little dare! I triple dog dare you to get close to him and I dare you to see him both inside the gym and out" He looked as though he was going to say something more when he shook his head. "You're waking up little Dhampir...I'll see you soon." The land around me completely changed fading away, as I heard my name being called and felt a gentling shaking on my my shoulder waking me._

_"Rosemarie...Rosemarie...wake up sleepy head."The rolling sounds of Levent's Turkish accent, had me peeling open one eye, then the other and I groaned out loudly, as I rolled over escaping his annoying seeking fingers on my shoulder. "Finally." Levent mummer, as he pushed my legs off to the other side, so that he could crawl up in beside me. "I thought I would never get my five minutes alone time, with you." He rushed out as he settled himself more upwards on the head of the bed. _

_"That's all I've thought about since I have gotten here...right." I yawned out and stretching towards the side, relieving my stiffened muscles. "Why...because I'm so damn popular these days...that you had to look in, on the Ex-Strigoi circus freak?" I replied dryly, as I tried schooching further away from him, just for Levent to thread his busy hands around my waist to pulling me back towards him. Great, lookie there, the skies opened up and its suddenly raining men. Just what I always wanted, more attention._

_"That's not even funny." He whispered down into my hair. "I would have been with you, the night you were restored, if something unexpected hadn't of popped._

_"Which is." I asked titling my head some, that was resting on his chest. While his hands lightly covered my back, holding me in place. I strained my head back even further to up to look into his smoldering grays. Levent looked so concerned, with how he was looking down at me, that I tried lightening the mood up some by doing the impossible... smiling. _

_"It personal." Levent said solemnly, making it very clear the rules were still the same. Don't ask because he sure as hell, had no intentions of telling. _

_"Great." I replied and began disentangling myself from him to get up, which he reluctantly allowed me to do. "I'm sorry... I asked." Turning my back on him and pulling out a clean pink halter top out of the dresser and rummaging around in one of the drawers. My fingers came across a pair of stoned washed cutoffs. When I felt his hand on my shoulder, causing me to flinch back away from him, from the unwanted contact. What the hell was I? Dora the fucking sex explorer, that every guy within a two step radius had a right to suddenly touch me? _

_"It's not like that at all Rose, just something that I needed to do in order to secure some kind of future with you...I've made it very clear of my feelings and wanting a relationship with you. Now that I know you had thought it was me that night... maybe...no." I said bitterly and he froze as he eyed me skeptically. _

_"No...no and hell no." I fired shaking my head, that he moved a step towards me and I took two steps back. "We don't have a future, because of this shit here...you work for my father and have all these messed up rules of don't ask questions. Don't think for a minute, that I have forgotten about that... because I haven't. We have what we've always had... Nothing." _

_That was the proverbial straw, that broke the camels back and he closed the remaining two feet of space between us. His fingers bit deeply into my upper arms and roughly jerked me towards him, that my breath caught and held. "We're good together Rosemarie." Levent told me, when he drew me even closer towards him, swinging both of my hands out and pushing them against his chest trying to stop him, he looked once more down at my mouth, while I continued to try and push him away. _

_His eyes flashed angrily back into mine from the obvious tell, tale signs of rejection. A rumbling began somewhere center of his chest, as he jerked me even harder into him, making sure that he had the upper hand in the matter. "Try as you might you can't deny the bond between us." He stated flatly. His mouth crash down hard on mine wrenching my lips open, as his tongue hungrily plunged in after mine, in a wrestling duel for dominance. Within those firm lips of his, I tasted his anger...fierce anger, pent up frustration, that had seemed to have built up from somewhere and hunger of a man half starved._

_ My head began spinning as though it was sinking in quick sand, and my heart kept in rhythm with his, both racing frantically out of control into some wild unknown tempo. His hands were warm ravishing, while his fingertips spread out clawing at my back. Digging roughly into my skin, that I swore, I would have scratch marks later from where his nails dug in. They raked downwards over my buttocks, groping me so hard that I whimpered back into his mouth. A full predatory growl rumbled off of his chest and vibrated against mine, that my fingers clutched and squeezed into his waist and belt loop. Those desperate demanding fingers of his urgently lifted me upwards, so that I measured up to his full height and leaving no room between us, making me completely aware of just how excited he had become. Our breathing had become ragged and panting as I tried sucking air back into my lungs. As though my hands had a mind of their own, they snaked their way from his chest, my nimble fingers, touching and kneading the harden muscled cords and drifting upwards towards his shoulders, then climbing even higher to circle in around his neck. There was such a need, such a build up intensity and speed to all of this, he slammed me hard backwards, crashing me heavily into the wall behind me. I cried out from the pain and roughness, as I tried pulling my mouth away from his, when his other hand shot out holding my head firmly into place. _

_It wasn't until Levent had raised his head and looking at me as though I had grown a horn in the center of my face to realize what his soft gray eyes were looking at or why. Somewhere a strangled choked sob erupted from my throat and I was shaking, trembling as tears streamed down my face, as I looked back at him. "Please stop." I croaked out with whatever voice that I had left in me." However that wasn't why he was looking at me the way that he was. It was the loud crashing of the door that had gotten his attention, long enough for him to raise his head and stop. Sweeping the pads of his thumb over my cheeks, he wiped away the fallen tears and with the last bit of shaky energy that I had I shoved him off. _

_"Rose are you alright?" Christian exclaimed coming further into the room eying me, then wearily glancing over towards Levent that I bolt and rushed towards him._

_"Does somebody care to explain what the hell is going on in here?" Abe's voiced boomed as he swaggered into the doorway. _

_"It's a misunderstanding old man... that's all it is...Levent thought that I still felt the same way, as I once did." I quickly explained. "He was just trying to comfort me." I added lying through my teeth. 'When I told him that I felt numb and couldn't feel anything...ugh...huh right...and they sell miracles of bullshit at the five and dime store Abe said looking over at him with his beady sharp eyes. "I need to see you and Dimitri both downstairs." He told Levent as the old coot jerked his finger towards the door expecting him to leave. _


	38. Truth Be Told

__**I wish to give a special thank you to miss Debra Powers for being my beta, and good friend. Also in the last few chapters in Love Fades With Darken Hearts and in Prey And Predator, she's has really stepped up in portraying my Adrian with her witty humor and Adrian like attitude bringing this adorable Moroi to life. And now Playing a staring role as Christian Thank you...thank you... now This chapter is dedicated to Debra Powers**_  
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_"This isn't settled Rosemarie." Levent threw over his shoulder sternly, while he left the room. I weakly sagged against Christian for support; my breathing slowly began to return to normal, from taking in all those shallow breaths._

_"It is for now or did you forget what happened to Marian and Greg, when I thought they had double crossed me? Or have you forgotten everything I have done for you!" Abe yelled out, but got no response from Levent._

_"You better decide soon little girl!" Abe snarled out while he shook his age withered finger at me vigorously. "I'm so sick of all the rosters in the hen house! The next cock to go around thinking they're the cock of the walk, will damn sure, bloody hell, answer to me." Abe grumbled when he shuffled out of the room._

_I couldn't do this anymore, the world felt as though the damn walls were closing in on me. Suddenly, I felt claustrophobic; alone, as though I was drowning in all the bullshit that was going on around me. My father, Dimitri, Levent and my god now Adrian, everyone was just pushing. What the hell did they expect from me to walk on water or something? It was hard enough just being Dhampir again and now everyone expected me to be my same happy go lucky self?"_

_"Come on Rose." Christian said shaking me to where I blinked trying to focus my eyes on him; he gave me a light hearted knowing smirk. "I know what you need." He said stuffing the clothes that had been on the floor back into my hands. "Go and get dressed and I'll see you in a few." Just as abruptly as he had shoved the clothes into my hand, Christian had already turned towards the door and was gone._

_Not hurrying with any sort of detail after I finished dressing, I glance back towards the mirror. Who was the girl standing there taking in her reflection? The more I looked at her, the more the vivid images surfaced. "How long had it been?" My mind screamed out "Minutes, hour's maybe; and when I wasn't reliving this shit, during my waking moment, their ghostly figures and blood came into my dreams!_

_How long had it been, since the last time, that I relived being a fucking monster? The girl from the movie theaters, the innocents kid whose life I had stolen and served on a silver platter while ringing the diner bell for Eddie. I all curdled my stomach making me rush into the bathroom gagging, where I had barely managed to squat over the rim of the toilet seat in time. The watered down foul stench of sludge and goo splashed loudly from my lips, as my body shook violently dry heaving all of the empty contents of what lingered in my stomach._

_The girl was a teenager, a kid really, she pleaded… no begged for her life and cowardly I handed her over, as though she was nothing more than cattle meant to be herded out to slaughter, to Eddie. Her death was on me; I was responsible, hell, I even caused it._

_"__It does get better, the flashbacks the guilt, what your feeling." The intoxicating aroma of Dimitri's cologne filtered in the doorway of the medium size bathroom, while his tantalizing fingertips brush my skin lightly on the nape of my neck. Dimitri pulled my hair back away from my face; as my stomach lurched forward, protesting violently again, as more of the watery sludge flew out of my mouth. _

_"__I just need some breathing space!" I said choking on my vomit and groaning over the seat of the toilet bowl. "Everyone is expecting what I can't give them right now, do you know what that feels like." I asked slowly turning around meeting Dimitri warm brown eyes. He took a deep breath as though he was a little lost himself and was trying to find the right words to say, when he nodded his head in agreement._

_"__Actually I do." Dimitri softly replied exhaling slowly, letting my hair fall back down into place towards my shoulders. Glancing down at the rim of the toilet seat, I hugged myself around the commode a few seconds more, as Dimitri walked out of the bathroom carrying his duster. A couple of seconds later, with my Dhampir hearing, I heard the heavy leather hitting what, I assumed, was the chair out in the living room. A short time later he came back into the bathroom, kneeling down in front of me. When he reached over, to brush the hairs that had fallen into my eyes away, I flinched. I was to dirty to be touched, least of all, by the man who I had killed. I didn't deserve his pity or his compassion after killing him twice._

_Dimitri looked positively dangerous… and hot, all at the same time, dressed in his black button down dress shirt and black wrangler jeans, like one of those cowboys right before they mounted up on their saddles to round up the bad guys._

_"__When I was first restored you wanted more than I could handle, a hell of a lot more than I could give, and I pushed you away as a result. You don't know how many times since then that I have thought I should have rushed into your arms instead of Lissa's and worked through all the pain and grief. I should have told you how numb and dead I was feeling on the inside."_

_"__But you didn't." I choked out flinching from the memory. "You turned to her as though she was you're savior..." "Just as you're doing now with Adrian, look, neither one of us are perfect in this Rose. There's no hand book on how to behave or act after what we've gone through; luckily Adrian seems to have more of an understanding of spirit's afterglow than Lissa did." Dimitri finished off, his eyes narrowed as he watched me closely. I couldn't return his gaze and felt so dirty and shameful of what my Strigoi-self had done, instead I walked over towards the sink, washing off my face and rinsing out my mouth._

_"__Do you still see them...the people that you killed?" I asked while my shoulders began trembling and my voice quivered just as much. My eyes visualized the couple that I had followed from the fast food restaurant towards home, as I stalked them, slowly until we had walked into the darkened part of the city street corner. Even now, I could hear his wife screams, as I feasted upon her flesh. Then taking turns with her husband until I had ripped his body apart from limb to limb. Their red thick warm wet blood, coating my hands like a second skin, with a compulsive need I began reverently washing them._

_"__Because I see them all the time and when I'm not seeing them, then..." "you have all this other shit getting piled on you at the same time." Dimitri whisked out._

_"__But to answer your question yes, I still see their faces and during the daylight hours, when everyone is sleeping, that's when it's the hardest." Walking over Dimitri hand lifted onto my jaw. His warm fingers brushed tingling heat and warmness across my skin, raising my face so that I was looking upwards into his compassionate dark brown eyes. Damn, he always had a knack for understanding me better than I understood myself at times._

_"__It does get better Roza, your soul was forced, literally high-jacked from your body and if you're experience was anything like mine, once your soul had been removed, you saw the demon take over and, just as much as I was, you were completely powerless to stop it."_

_I swallowed hard as I remembered my fight with Robert and saw my soul leaving my body, as my mouth fed upon his blood. Hell I knew a monster was being born, even though I had tried fighting the damn thing off. I was powerless to stop the demon while being trapped inside the wall of mirrors; its demonic presence had been too strong._

_A small part of me reveled in the abundant freedom and power it had held. The ability of doing what I wanted, when I wanted and more importantly than that, how I wanted. Yes, having the power over life and death had made the demon in me feel stronger, almost immortal with a godlike persuade. A small part of me still craved that freedom, as I wouldn't be in this shit. The Strigoi part of me had been daring, bolder and even stronger. Where now, I was weak, pathetic and just a shallow shell of my former self. God, life had a cruel sick sense of humor and I was nothing more than karma's fucking punch line._

_"__Roza no matter what you think... it wasn't you...what you became... that thing was never you." Dimitri said lightly as his thumb and forefinger brushed from my jaw to the nape of my neck, lingering in the soft strands of my hair and twirling it precariously around his finger. What did Dimitri want me to say that? Suddenly, even though the monster that had been inside of me was gone forever, somehow, what he said was supposed to make everything that this body, these hands and mouth of mine had done, all right? I would be exonerated from my fucking sins?"_

_"__The difference between you and me Dimitri is that you've always been a good man and you've always done what you've thought was morally right...and I on the other hand… it doesn't matter." I whispered defeatedly and pulled away from him. Dimitri letting out a troubling sigh, and didn't try in stopping me, as I walked out of the bathroom and going towards the front door to meet up with Christian. He hadn't done what I had, Dimitri left for Russia and, well, I used his insides for a game of tug a war._

_"__I've decided to take Adrian up on his offer of training you again." Dimitri called out from behind me, just as I had opened the door to my bedroom, getting ready to go out into the hallway. Hearing those words brought me up short, freezing me into place, my body slowly turned around. Dimitri couldn't be serious could he? The bond that existed between both Adrian and Dimitri, it was the only way Dimitri could have found out about mine and Adrian's dare so quickly._

_"__You saw us." I stated flatly and Dimitri nodded his head and began cracking his knuckles, as though he was feeling awkward._

_"__It wasn't like I had any choice in the matter, when Adrian gets excited." Dimitri said rolling his big brown eyes, as a pinkish tinge colored his cheeks._

_"__You got pulled into his head the same way that I do with Lissa..." "Yes and I wish to god there was some sort of fucking warning signal that would automatically blare loudly in our heads, before either one of us gets sucked up into these intense feelings! Because, I sure as hell didn't need to see you and Adrian going at it like fucking dogs in heat. Along with seeing and feeling Adrian's hands on my ... I mean … your body, nor did I need to feel his perverse sexual excitement for you, when you practically shoved your tongue down his throat."_

_"__And I most certainly did not need to hear Adrian's perverted thoughts afterwards either... much less feel them! God!" Dimitri exclaimed clinching both of his fist and every muscle tensing, as though he was going to hit something or someone at any moment, as he let out a muffled breath! "That's not my idea of prime time entertainment." Dimitri voice trailed off while pain filled his eyes and became even more evident over his handsome face, as though I had hurt him._

_"__Now you know how it feels, call it poetic justice." Just mentioning Lissa, Dimitri's mouth snapped shut as though I had shoved a proverbial stake into his heart, when empathy of what I had seen and felt when he had been with Lissa flickered momentarily over his face, making him look haggard._

_"__I'm genuinely sorry you got pulled into Adrian's head and saw us, but I don't owe you anything! We were over a long time ago...so it's not as though I lied to you or snuck around behind your back._

_"__You should go and see Christian; he's waiting for you downstairs." Dimitri signaled this conversation was over. Just as my arms pushed away from the doorway, another thought crossed my tormented mind._

_"__Do you still love her?" I squeaked as my voice caught somewhere in the back of my throat. Suddenly, his answer scared the shit out me, what if he did? I couldn't even reason with myself why I had asked the damn question in the first place._

_Dimitri moved with lightning speed as he crossed the room with determination kindling on his face as he moved towards me. Why had I asked that particular question? Out of all the other questions that came to mind why had I asked that one, was I glutton for punishment? Dimitri placed those big hands of his on either sides of the doorway, confining my head and trapping me with those powerful biceps of his arms, leaning inwards. He was close enough now, to where there wasn't even an inch space left between us. But we weren't exactly touching either, my breathing hitched even more and the crazy ass banging in my chest grew even fiercer._

_Suddenly, his answer meant more to me than anything, precious words that I really needed to hear, as though everything depended on what he said next. __Dimitri's body heat was radiating off of him and the ever so strong scent of his cologne wrapped around me. God he smelled so fucking good, that kind of smell... let alone scent, It was just one of the many things about Dimitri, I wasn't able to let go, no matter how hard I tried. I swallowed even harder as the electrifying bond was doing its best to drive me fucking insane, as a mega crater size lump had formed cutting off my ability to speak._

_No...no… no this isn't right... your numb practically dead from the neck down. My mind roared out. There's no way the impenetrable bond of ours, could possible burn as hot between us again, it shriveled up and died years ago._

_"__Yes." Dimitri finally said, shock and misery reflecting in his voice. "Yes I do love her, at least a part of me does." His expression twisted with a sense of helplessness and agony, while pain mirrored in those chocolate browns depths of his._

_"__Good." I said taking an uneven breath and ready to duck under him to get the hell out of there, just to have Dimitri move in even closer stopping me. Fuck! My mind snapped out from being trapped, squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I hung my head and a single tear ran down my cheek. Why did I suddenly care if Dimitri loved Lissa? Why did it even seem to matter who he was with or wanted to be with? Yet, somewhere deep inside me, it did! I just couldn't figure out why._

_"__Good, then you can let me move on with A..." "It's not like that, it's not like that at all Roza." His voice was so soft, so gentle; it was as if he hadn't spoken at all._

_"__I may love her because of spirit and the damn connection that I share with her, but that's it. Lissa saved me... okay I fucking get it now! But at the same time I hate her for it...all that power and magic, it destroyed everything. Losing you was by far the biggest price I paid for spirit's afterglow." Dimitri said more softly, instinctively I flinched at what he was implying and against my better judgment I couldn't turn away either._

_"I may love her for restoring me... but in my heart I'm deeply in love with you." Staring into his eyes, I could tell, Dimitri was apologizing for so much, but that's all the words were, a nice fancy dressed up apology. Weren't they? More questions stumbled around in the darken void of my mind as those precarious words began settling in, easing some of the pain I had felt._

_Then the shocking question of them all, the mac daddy, holy relic of all questions followed right after, leaving me feeling weak and stunned. Blood rushed to my face heating my skin a crimson red, while my heartbeat pulsating loudly in my ears into a dull roar, blocking out the other sounds coming from the room. I really couldn't help myself in wanting... no needing to know the truth._

_"Do you...do you still want Lissa in that way?" Leaning even further in, our bodies seemed connected, flaring the bond even more to life; ohh god it would be too easy to give in. Dimitri's chest pressed against mine to where I could feel his heartbeat. Shit, the damn thing was racing as fast as mine was, surely he could feel my reaction to him, as I lightly trembled. Both of our chests moved together, when Dimitri took in a deep breath, expelling it slowly. The heat of him exhaling caressed and fanned around my face, making me even more aware of his all-male intoxicating scent, which could only be describe as Dimitri._

_His lips lightly grazed my forehead Dimitri breath in deeply as though he was inhaling my own scent when he rested his forehead against mine, as he peered deeply into my eyes. Shit he wasn't going to let me run this time, the funny thing was, I wasn't really sure if I even wanted to. I needed to hear his answer, not to mention, I wasn't ready to leave the safe warm haven of his arms, even though they weren't wrapped around me, they sure as hell felt like they were._

_"__You were there Roza, at my room back at court. You may have been drinking, but I damn sure know you remember..." The heat from my cheeks stung even more, my heart was hammering just as fast. Damn him, my mind screamed out, as the memory flickered across his face. Desire and passion burned strongly in his eyes as he regarded me in a way that made me relive it all. Even Dimitri's breathing had quicken and his body flushed hotly against mine, throbbing in response. "The way our bodies felt as we moved together, bare flesh gliding over the other. The way you begged me not to stop. You remember don't you?" Dimitri whispered against my ear softly"_

_"__I remember...but I also thought you were Levent...you were supposed to be him." I choked out trying to catch a strangled in breath, as his eyes darkened looking even blacker now then brown. The heated look that flashed within them became darker and dare I say even hungry, needful. Nuzzling my neck, more goosebumps appeared over my skin, as I licked my lips nervously._

_Drunk or not Rose, your body knew it was me! Just as it knows me right now, do you honestly think I still want Lissa after that?_

_"__Shaking my head softly no, I gulped trying to force some much needed air into my starved lungs. What Dimitri was stirring up inside of me, I hadn't felt in what seemed like ages, began surfacing everywhere inside of me, as though he was consuming me just by his words alone. Memories of feeling safe and loved wrapped around me in a tight cocoon and pulled me even closer towards him, like a moth to a flame._

_"__What am I doing?" My mind screamed out. "This is the same man who's lied to me, cheated on me and threw me under the bus for Lissa." No matter how hard I tried in the past to kill off my feelings for him. My body at the moment went on fucking holiday and was giving in, as if I had any choice in the matter._

_When I felt the pads of his fingertips lightly touch down on my lips tracing the shape from the top towards the bottom, he once more snapped me out of my berating mind, which at this point was suggesting I get a fucking lobotomy for allowing Dimitri to even get this close. He wanted to kiss me that much I could see, as the pressure of his fingertip pressed down even harder opening my mouth slightly._

_"__We'll get through this Roza...we'll find a way to make this work." Dimitri said softly sliding his cheek against mine, until I felt his ragged breath against my neck, followed by his lips. Trembling with my eyes closed, as so many damn feelings were tumbling through me, leaving me even more confused than what I had been before._

_"__It's why I agreed to Adrian's dare" Dimitri words purred softly into my ear. Those seven little words snapped my eyes open and reality was clicking me back into place as though a bucket of freezing ice water had been thrown on me._

_Adrian. My mind repeated as though the invisible curtain lifted and common sense had been restore. What the hell was I thinking? Adrian was first in my heart now and if I couldn't have him, then I was okay with being solo. I didn't need another fucked up relationship, I doubted that I could even handle one, much less understand some of the feelings that were being stirred up._

_"__I need to see Christian." I said pushing on Dimitri's chest hard enough to where I could duck under his arms. Before he had a chance to say anything or even grab a hold of me again, I darted out of the room as though Lucifer himself was after me. When I passed through the long winding stairwell, Levent's angry words echoed from the room below as he was intensely engaged arguing with Marian of all people. Their loud shouting match was heard in every nook of the lighthouse, growing louder the further I descended, step by step._

_"__This should have been settled years ago. Is that why Abe brought you and Gregory back? To watch me squirm?" Levent growled out fiercely, his voice vibrating everywhere._

_"__If you had responded to the numerous letters we sent you, we wouldn't even be having this discussion." Marian said sounding perfectly calm. "We've been trying to contact you for years; it's not mine or Gregory's fault you chose to ignore us."_

_"__Problems?" I asked almost cheerful as I eyed the two of them when I entered the living room. "It's so nice to know my life isn't the only soap opera playing out. We should really call it "The life and times of a Moroi's." You know, then later on add the whole Dhampir spin on it type of thing." God, I was sounding bitchy._

_"__Rosemarie we didn't hear you come in." Levent said wearily as he glanced back nervously towards Marian._

"_We were just discussing the terms of our...Marian that's enough." Levent snarled out effectively quieting her._

_"Whatever." I said shrugging my shoulders back at him, if Levent didn't want to tell me, then fine, I was sick and tired of him hiding shit from me, always plotting behind my back with the old man. Not trusting me enough to open up about his past as though he thought I couldn't handle it, rolling my eyes I didn't want to hear anymore._

_"__By all means continue with whatever it was that you were so calmly conversing about...just make sure you use your 'friendly voice', that way little ole me can't hear what's being said." I said in my best childlike voice, twirling my finger around the side of my temple indicating just how ridiculous I thought they were being._

_"__Another time Levent." Marian asked with an airy pause. Looking her over, she was strikingly beautiful in her cream yellow halter top and stoned washed shorts. It was hard to believe any Moroi would be crazy enough to come to the lighthouse, much less be up at this early morning hour with the sun facing off in the horizon._

_"__Mrs. Hathaway I still need to question you about the events that took place the night you were awakened..." "and you'll have that time just as soon as Rose eats." Christian belted out causing me to flinch from the brassiness in his voice. His cool pale icy blue eyes gave me a full once over, assessing my condition, making sure I was alright. Christian walked towards me taking my chilled hands into his warmer ones and pulling me along beside him. _

_"__Rose has missed one to many meals, thanks to you, so you may speak to her afterwards." Christian replied hastily, as he pulled me along into the kitchen, which he was, making a clear point to Marian and Levent to back the hell off._

_"__Does that make you the food police sparky?" I asked jumping up on the counter to see what his hard earned labored was rewarding me with._

_"__It sure does and you're under arresting for not feeding that sexy stomach of yours." Christian said reaching over and tickling me just below my ribs, he was tickling me so hard that I laughed out loudly until my sides hurt. Another first for me, I hadn't laughed this much since I had been with my charge, before everything had turned to shit._

_"__Now close your eyes." Christian demanded softly, when he pulled back his hands._

_"__If I close my eyes do I get a big surprise." I asked when I sat up on the counter, he was just asking for a witty Rose Hathaway quip, and I couldn't help myself as I laughed even harder. Following his lead I closed my eyes, feeling like an imbecile,__as I waited._

_"__Yeah, well, I got something big for ya...and you could even say it's magically delicious. Now, open your mouth." Christian chuckled with obvious enjoyment of being able to order me around, my mouth sprang open and nervously I waited, when I felt something plop on my tongue. It was sweet mmm... chocolate, the richness of the flavor swirled around my mouth, had me groaning in satisfaction._

_"__You didn't make that." I said opening my eyes to see him mixing up a whitish batter in a large bowl, and then adding the chocolaty morsels he had fed me._

_"__Your right, I didn't, but it's what I'm planning to do with them." He said taking the liquid batter and pouring it in the buttery frying pan on the stove. Christian worked like a magician pouring the batter into the buttery pan and watching his creation take shape. The liquefied mass started looking more and more like golden brown pancakes. When he glanced back at me, I could see the determination glinting in his eyes, he smiled one of those famous cheesy grins of his. It was even funnier because he had a small glob of pancake batter on his cheek._

_"__What...is my bra showing or something, for you to be smiling at me like that?" I asked leaning over wiping it off with my finger, when he captured my wrist. In utter fascination, I watched when he pulled my finger towards his mouth placing it inside, letting his hot tongue swirl around my finger with a mischievous look glistening in his pale icy blues. Ohh mercy how the tides had turned in our close friendship...maybe it's something more, the silent voice in my head rang off._

_"__As much as I would love to see the black lacy bra of yours, I was actually thinking about the first time I cooked for you back at the academy. You had just been appointed my guardian for the short time during trials." Christian told me as he flipped the pancake over onto the plate and poured more of the batter into the frying pan._

_"__Yeah you made meatloaf and reminded me why I was thankful to be guarding you, instead of prick face Jesse." I hadn't thought about my old days of being in school in such a long time. The memory alone felt good, as the warmth spread from my stomach towards my face, when I thought of how happy we had been back then. Whether Christian realized it or not just by bringing up the old days, he was helping me just to feel._

_"I understand why you wouldn't want to be Jesse's guardian, but... you were thankful to be mine?" Christian spouted prideful and arching his eyebrow, something that had always irked me because I couldn't do it myself._

_"__Ahhh, well, Jesse couldn't cook either." I snorted rudely just thinking of Jessie, he had to be one of the most pain in the ass kids back at school, all stuck up and treating everyone like they were blood whores. "Well, a hot charge who knows his way around a kitchen, I would call that being pretty lucky and a good reason to be thankful." I said winking over towards Christian._

_"Hot huh, or is it just my cooking you love?" He asked smirking back at me and flipping another golden brown pancake onto the plate. The heavenly smell had my mouth watering, and my stomach growling with eager anticipation._

_"__Of course, the food, you'll just have to settle for taking second place." I told him and leaned over dipping my finger in his bowl, Christian swatted my hand, giving me the 'I can look but not touch' expression. Just as fast as he hit my hand, I raised it smearing the gooey mess over his cheek._

_"I am no second place! I'll show you second place!" He said taking the bowl of pancake batter and tried pouring over my head, but I was too fast for him as I dodge the other way._

_"__What's the matter fire crotch, don't like having your thunder stolen by your meatloaf?" I asked, as I dodge around the table._

_"__I've got some thunderous meat for you." He exclaimed loudly laughing, as he came around on the other side of the table nearly catching me again._

_"__Thunderous meat huh...is that before or after you add the bacon? I hear pork goes along way or is that spam?" I squealed out when his left arm wrapped around me, as I tripped from the table leg crashing down onto the floor laughing, taking Christian down with me._

_"__I got something very long and thick and I don't mean bacon!" He said as he dumped the rest of the batter on top of my head._

_"Ohh you are so dead meat." I growled wiping the sticky clinging goo from my eyes, glaring back at him._

_"__Here let me help with that." Christian said as he leaned over me and cupped my face with his graceful hands. At first I thought he was going to kiss me, but nope instead I felt heat emanating from his mouth, as his tongue suddenly shot out, slowly gliding over my cheek and jawline._

_"__Christian...what are you doing?" I giggled, trying to pull away from him, and the more I did, the more he laughed as well, but not stopping either. _

_"I'm helping, can't you tell?" His lips caressed against my skin as he spoke. He laughed a deep rumbling laugh that vibrated against me as I squealed under him. It was like having octopus hands all over you, but instead of eight arms there was just his two and along with both of his legs trapping me. _

_"Christian...okay... okay...you're helping." I squealed out once more._

_"__"Are you sure, I think I can help you even more." His tongue slid over towards my ear nibbling on the bottom lobe, making me squirm and squeal even more._

_"__Looks like you two are having fun; or is this a new way of getting the added mop and glow to the floors?" Dimitri said harshly stopping us both, instantly I froze and looked up towards him._

_"We were, until you came along." Christian mumbled as he shifted his weight._

_"__I could see that much! Don't mind me, I was just here for the coffee not a floor show!" Dimitri replied tartly and looking as though he wanted to rip Christian's head off. Straightening up I pulled away from Christian and shakily got back up to my feet with his help._

_"__We...were." I stumbled out, as I looked around the mess of the kitchen._

_"__Yeah, I can see what you were doing." Dimitri said stoically and placing the harder than granite guardian's mask back over his face. "And I'll let you go back to doing it." He said finishing with the task of pouring his coffee and storming out._


	39. Tangled Web Of Deception

__"That guy seriously has some issues...nothing that a quick trip to Tarasov won't fix" Christian said, with frustration growing more apparent in his expression. He walked back over towards the stove grabbing my plate of pancakes from the counter and brought them towards me. "Now sit." He ordered me, placing the plate on the table. Reaching over and pulling out the chair slowly and sitting down, I glared back at the plate.__

_"___I put Dimitri through hell, he's ….he's not thinking clearly." I argued, shaken up from Dimitri and all of the turbulence of emotions that were fluttering inside of me. What the hell did I care if he saw Christian and me joking around? Since I had woken up from being restored, the damn tension and drama in the lighthouse had been driving me crazy, and he knew it.__

_"___I would say you trump his hell...after all you're still taking his crap...his and a few others around here." Christian snapped, a little too quickly and defensively, while he retrieved the mop out of the food pantry, which was located on the other side of the refrigerator and sink. He placed the mop under the running faucet and wrung it out. Christian began cleaning up the spilled pancake mess on the floor. Every so often, he would look up and glance back in my direction to see if I was eating or not.__

__"You don't know what I did to him!" I said shaking my head. "You don't know how bad I hurt Dimitri." I argued feeling the crazy need to defend Dimitri's actions towards Christian.__

__"That would be a first Rose... even for you...whatever happened, between you two, when you were a Strigoi. Dimitri damn sure knew the risks; guardians are trained to know the risks and the consequences. I sure as hell didn't hear Dimitri blaming you over it." Christian interrupted, cutting me off, sounding utterly appalled by my words. Grumbling in annoyance, he placed the mop back into the cabinet and came towards me spying down at my plate, noticing I hadn't even touched it. For the longest time, I stared down at the food in front of me and choked back a cry, as I picked up the fork.__

_"___Hey you said you liked my cooking, what gives?" Christian asked, his voice as soft as it had been before, suddenly becoming all too serious.__

_"___Nothing." I told him, shaking my head, glaring down at the food, wondering why all of a sudden I couldn't bring myself to eat. Moments before, my stomach was rumbling loudly as though it was possessed, when it caught the mouthwatering fragrance. Christian pulled out a chair that scraped against the sand stone floor. In the next instant, he reached over and hauled me up to my feet, before I even had a chance to protest. Just to swing me up and around to where my butt slammed into his lap, making him grunt, from the impact of my weight. Taking the fork into his hand, he began cutting the pancakes into smaller bites.__

_"___Open... it's just what you saw me making...besides, you did say I was a hot cook." Christian added when he brought the fork towards my mouth. "Now prove it." At first, I was very hesitant, as I looked at the fork with the buttery pancakes on it, then looking back down towards the plate. Christian began flying the fork in the air making errrrr sounds of a plane, as if he was feeding some small kid. I opened my mouth just to shut him up. Rolling my eyes in sheer delight from the delicious flavors of both chocolate and pancakes combined, I moaned loudly with exquisite enjoyment and Christian gave a shaky laugh from my reaction. Oooo chocolate a woman's best friend.__

_"___God that's so good." I muffled out and took the fork from him, engorging myself with the tastiness of wonderfulness, until my plate was completely wiped clean.__

_"___Damn, I really am competing with my own cooking, aren't I?" Christian grumbled, sounding more jealous, to where he slightly shifted under me. I kissed his cheek laughing. Rolling his eyes looking deeply wounded and slightly insulted, I readjusted myself so that I could turn around in his arms and snickered out again. Both of his arms wrapped around me, tickling me so hard that I thought I was going to pee my pants.__

_"___Maybe you shouldn't have taken that culinary class back in school; maybe I would like you for your manliness then." I squealed out when his finger dug in and tickled under my arm pits, causing me to nearly fall off of his lap.__

_"___Maybe... but that's really too bad for you, because when it comes to my manliness Hathaway, you sure don't know what you're missing." He added, looking solemn and stopping just to wrap his hands around my waist holding me upright.__

__"This thing you have with Adrian." Christian said clearing his throat as he rapidly changed the subject." The connection that you feel towards him; have you tried looking at it logically, sort of putting your feelings under a microscope?" He asked as his breath hissed out along the side of my neck and earlobe, making me shiver.__

_"___No." I said shaking my head, never really giving those feelings much thought. They were just too confusing, not to mention what had happened upstairs with Dimitri was even more disturbing. For a moment, with some clarity, I remembered how safe and loved I had once been with Dimitri. It reignited the sparking bond, which I though was long gone years ago, and it burned just as hot between us. It was too much; trying to identify which emotions was which, much less trying to understand them.__

__Well, let me ask you this." Christian said shifting enough so I was looking into his beautiful blues. "Before you were restored, before you were ever turned, did you honestly feel for Adrian then, what you're feeling for him now? Was it just as strong and intense?"__

_"___Christian please …...no I'm serious Rose look at from scientific point of view for a minute. Did you have feelings for him, back then, as strongly as you do now?"__

_"___I cared about Adrian, I really did...And." He asked raising his eyebrow pushing even further for an answer; numbly I shook my head no.__

__"It was different, much different then. I loved him, but I wanted Dimitri more until... until." I said letting my voice trail off, and tearing my eyes away from his to look down at my hands.__

_"___Uh huh, that's what I thought." Christian spoke, keeping his tone nonchalant and laying his hands over mine. "So you can see why your intense feelings for Adrian are more of spirit's afterglow, then it being really you?"__

__"I guess so." My voice shook so hard, as though it came out in a whisper. "But it doesn't change how I feel."__

_"_True, but at least you have a better understanding on how you feel and how spirit's afterglow plays a part of it...Mrs. Hathaway, I trust you have finished eating?" Marian's annoying, grating voice snapped my head up into attention, looking her fully in the eyes to see just a fraction of her head peering around the opening of the framing of the kitchen. How long had she been standing there? Was Marian listening to us... ease dropping on Christian and I the whole time? How much had she heard? Taking me out of my solace from Christian and the comfort he provided. I eyed her wearily, just as she flashed a disapproving glace at the both of us.__

__"I don't know how you do it Ms. Hathaway. It must be hard for you to keep track of all the men you've had in your life! What do you do, keep them all chained up on leashes, to keep them sniffing around at your skirt. Ohh, that's right you wear pants because you're a guardian, as if that makes a world of difference!" Marian said in the softest eloquent voices, I had heard. Ouch, that one hurt, score one for the Moroi. All she had to do was say, she didn't wanna be friends.__

__"You're very articulate Marian." I mused back at her with a playful daring smile spreading across my face. I had been properly put in my place and turnabout was fair play! This bitch needed to know right off the bat who she was dealing with.__

__"Do you have a dictionary wedge up your ass somewhere that you can quote directly from or do you just naturally get your charms by being blonde and all?" I purred knowing I had giving her a direct hit.__

__The sound of Christian's chair dragging hard across the sand stone floor brought Marian's and my petty bickering to a screeching halt, when we both looked at him. Again he was trying to be mediator, the keeper of the peace, when he suddenly stood.__

__"I'm sorry Lord Ozera! I was out of line, just a minute ago...I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Christian clarified, his voice a low, guttural growl at this point and taking on a defensive posture keeping me away from her.__

__"It's alright Christian." I forced the words out and placed my hand lightly over his shoulder and giving him a gentle squeeze that everything was alright. "Marian's here at the queens request, even though I don't want to, I have to talk her." I told him more softly and urging him to back off a little bit, not giving Christian a chance to form an argument. I side stepped around him and walked towards the general direction to where Marian was, and walked more and more confident towards the living room, and flopping down on the coach.__

__A few seconds later barreling downing the winding staircase Debain, Styles, Camile and Serena were in heavy conversation when they looked over towards Marian and me.__

__"Hey Rose have you seen Christian...we were just heading off to scout around the beach and thought he might like to come." Camile asked warmly.__

__"He's in there." I said pointing off towards the kitchen, when she flickered eyes once more over Marian and myself and she took off in that direction, with Style and everyone else not too far behind.__

__"Now ladies, be prepared to see something that you've never seen before." Styles joked out, that I shifted my eyes away from him and looked over towards the pictures on the mantel above the fireplace.__

__"What, you doing the back stroke or someone doing CPR over you because you can't swim?" Serena replied sarcastically causing Camile and Debain each to laugh before the disappeared inside the kitchen. A couple of seconds later Camile was tugging on Christian's arm and pulling him out of the living room. Just for him to roughly seize the doorknob, throwing the door wide open to where it clanged hard on the outside walls of the light house. Serena mummer her apologies as she quickly closed it.__

__The shuffling of papers drew my attention behind me, as I turned and watched Marian from over my shoulder, while she collected them from a nearby end table. She walked around the couch, sitting down opposite from me in one of the reclining chairs, pulling out one of the long yellow legal pads that had been hiding under the white documents. Pulling the ink pen off of the pad, I saw my name at the top of the page from the previous time Marian had questioned me, written in bold letters, with questions and answers scrawled over the page.__

__"As I said before Ms. Hathaway, I need a full detailed account of what happened on the night you were ahem… when you became a Strigoi." Marian said clearing her throat for a moment, when her sharp eyes rested back on mine. "So, let's start with an easier question this time. Do you make it habit to drink?" She asked looking at me skeptically, as though I wasn't going to give her the truth.__

__"No." I said shaking my head. "I… uh huh, took allot of spirit darkness from Lissa, that night...and so you self-medicate by drinking to counter react the effects of spirit?" She added writing my answer down on the pad, but I was pretty certain the real answer she wrote was her own.__

__"No it wasn't like that." I said shaking my head even more.__

__"Ms. Hathaway, I have signed detailed reports showing you have a history of hanging out at the bars, dorms and drinking. So I'm assuming that this is an ongoing problem?"__

__"No." I said glaring back at her for the second time, wondering just where the hell she had gotten those reports from, and more importantly trying to figure out who would be saying that about me.__

__"Are you, by any chance, addicted to endorphins, Ms. Hathaway?" Marian grinned at having caught me off guard; her eyes twinkled in obvious enjoyment, even though her voice hadn't changed from being cool, precise and professional.__

__"What?" I yelled jumping up from the couch, feeling like I had been hit by a fucking mac truck! I mean where the hell was she getting this shit from?__

__"No, of course not." I spat out indignantly, feeling my temper rising from her insinuations. Shuffling a few more papers around, Marian almost gleefully waved several legal signed papers in the air for me to see.__

__"These are signed affidavits by the various people claiming to have had sexual relations with you, swearing under oath in the Moroi's court of law, you allowed them to feed upon you during sexual acts. Ms. Hathaway these affidavits are filed in the court quorums, so I would suggest that you not commit perjury."__

__One of the papers bearing the names Daniella and Nathan Ivashkov, had been signed, along with another legal signed document from Jesse Zeklos, followed by Ralf Sarcozy. Right like Jesse and Ralf were fucking great credible witnesses.__

__Rolling my eyes, I stubbornly crossed my arms over my chest, as I was internally doing my damnedest not to lose control here. My fingertips literally started digging into my arms to where I could feel the warm stickiness of blood trickling down on my bare arms.__

__"I did not have sex with Adrian's parents." I shouted jerking my finger deadly at her and waving the thing in the air, as if my finger had become a weapon itself. The thin veil of my sanity began cracking and what little control I had over myself was evaporating very rapidly, even though I was forcefully gasping in air into my lungs. Ohh, hell no, she didn't want to keep pushing this, I thought wildly, as I paced the room and stopped every so often, just to resume my aimless prowling. "Nor would I ever have sex with Jesse or even Ralf."__

__"From the way I understand it, by Jesse Zeklos, you both were caught at 's by a janitor, engaged in blood whore type behaviors. Quite disgusting really, but something you Dhampir's and humans tend to do."__

__Doubling my fists I was going to wear a hole in the floorboards, as I contemplated on bashing Marian's smug face in now, or holding off another two seconds, maybe five if she was even that lucky. "Jesse and I only made out! I was never his fucking blood whore." I snarled out rabidly, seeing the amusement flickering on Marian's face. The way her eyes shinned knowing she had struck a nerve, only pissed me off even further. I bit down hard on the inside wall of my cheek, the queen expected me to confide in this piece of shit, and who the hell was she?__

__"And according to both Daniella and Nathan Ivashkov, you did allow their son Adrian to feed off of you during sexual relations...are you going to tell me that's not true either?" Marian's smirk turned cold, even crueler and more spiteful than it had before.__

__"Or would you like tell me I'm wrong on that account as well?" I wasn't going to dignify that with an answer, because if I even tried to answer that one, I was going to rip the bitch apart! I wanted her damn head in my hands, just so I could squeeze it like a squeaker toy, just to see if the damn thing popped.__

__"Fine moving on, tell me about your ex-Strigoi lover Dimitri Belikov. Isn't also true you were his blood whore at one time? Didn't you let him feed from you... as you had done with so many others in the past?" Tossing the papers down Marian glared at me and let out a long deep disapproving sigh. She was making it a point; she obviously had an ax to grind with me and was more than ready to lay my head on any chopping block.__

__Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I was counting... ohh hell, was I ever counting. This wasn't about spirit infused lust charms, or even illegal usage of offensive magic, or even Dimitri for that matter. Ahhh hell, no this was personal.__

__"Tell me Rose, the night you were awakened did you have sex with Robert, after you had been turned or did you play his little blood whore, the way you had done for your ex-Strigoi lover?" I hadn't realized just how close, I had been standing next to Marian, because in a blink of an eye, all threads of sanity reason and logic, fucking snapped all at once and a wild insane battle cry filled the room. Reaching over, Marian's shrill ear piercing screams filled the room, when I grabbed fists full of hair at the top of her head, jerking her upright up to her feet. My left fist exploded hard into the side of her face, where she staggered backwards towards the mantel of the fireplace and the wooden shelves, which held all of Dimitri's knick knacks and family photos.__

__"Blood whore...blood whore is that what you think I am?" I growled predatory, as I grabbed the base of her head slamming it into the wooden shelving, shattering some of the glass of Dimitri's pictures. "Ahhh, how sad, blood whores have more fun then you! Is that because you have cobwebs growing in your tight ass Moroi snatch? Have all the guys labeled you as out dated tuna, with a side of skinny ass thighs on the side!"__

__Reeling Marian caught herself from me smashing her head into the wooden shelving again, bringing her elbow full force into my jaw. Where it ricochet snapping my head backwards, just for Marian to spin around using her other elbow nailing me on the side of my temple. Damn the bloody bitch was strong and that freaking hurt!__

__"Feel it later!" I growled out shrugging it off. When she rushed me, my right foot sprung out kicking her so hard into her stomach, the crazy ass bitch flew backwards screaming out, when her back hit into the shelving again. Slumping down onto the ground Marian's legs flew out towards the side of her, knocking my feet out from under me, to where I landed backwards sprawled on my back and my head bounced off of the floor boards with a heavy sickening thud. Marian climbed over my waist taking the mounting position, her right doubled up fist exploded into the side of my jaw, when her left fist creamed into the other side.__

__"Your one to talk." Marian panted as she delivered another right hook into the other side corner of my temple, the same damn one she nailed a few second ago with her elbow. Her other fist slammed into my lip and jaw, Filling my mouth up with blood, I spitted it out on the ground, wiping my mouth precariously.__

__"You have experience I see with your own foul crotch, what you can't seem to keep the pesky dogs away?" She spat, down at me, glaring as though she could burn me into cinders on the spot.__

__Arching my legs upwards and into the air and swinging both of my fists, my left hook caught her just under her chin cracking her head backwards, just enough to where both of my legs wrapped around her neck and throat throwing her off of me and smashing her face first into the coffee table, as the wooden hickory splintered all over the place.__

__Moving quickly and rolling onto my side, I pushed myself to my feet when I rushed her again. Using the wall for momentum, just as Marian was about to stand to her feet, my own legs and body ran briefly across the wall like some killer ninja move that you would see in of those karate movies. Only this shit was real, as I hurled my body in the air, grasping Marian's neck and throat with my legs, while grasping her right lower arm and wrist flinging her skinny ass back down on the floor.__

__"Yeah, but at least the guys still keep coming for me! You on the other hand, I see using a pinky just to get any... you dried up has been of a fucking hack... need prunes!" I snarled loud enough where I heard footsteps overhead beating down the staircase.__

__"No, we shouldn't give you prunes, more like a paper bag, since your looks won't allow you to give your shit away. Oh right, I can smell you from here! Danger...Will Robinson… beware!" My voice became grainy, cold and hard as ice, as if all the emotions had been drained out of me, as though I had once again turned Strigoi. My face hardened into fine chiseled granite and all I could envisioned was Marian's warm blood coating my hands.__

__"Rose... Marian...Rose... Marian!" A few people standing behind us shouted, but ohhh hell no, I was way too far gone now to know who it was. All I knew was both me and Marian had attracted an audience.__

__With her right lower arm and elbow securely pinned into an arm bar, I was more than ready to snap her arm back, breaking the damn thing off at the nub. Marian's head bounced off of the coffee table, and then slammed onto the floor. It wasn't until I felt hands strong warm hands pulling me off of her and dragging me backwards.__

_"_Roza...Roza! Stop fighting me...the familiar voiced said breathing heavily into my ear. "Snap out of it, Roza."__

__My feet went flying into the air, whoever had hold of me, had a firm grip, as I fought and clawed to get back to the crazy bitch, who was rolling around on the ground and getting back up to her feet. Throwing my head backwards smashing the person behind me in the face their hands temporarily fell away from me and letting go.__

__"I'll get you, you bitch you don't scare me in the least." Marian said, sarcasm lacing into her voice while her eyes slanted downwards, glaring sharp daggers into mine. "Yeah, I'm sure you love when all the guys keep coming... probably all over your fucking slimy ass... you nasty slut!" Marian howled back. "At least I don't have to be fucking drunk to get some, apparently that's the only way you can have it! You like it when they take advantage of you... fucking whore!" __

__God, I was going to kill her; that was it, the last straw. Moroi or no fucking Moroi... screw the mantra I was going to kill her.____Just like me, she was being grabbed and at one point thrown over someone's shoulder, but they didn't have a good enough grip on her. Marian brought both of her hands, which had been pulled together forming one mighty fist down on top of her attacker's head, giving her enough time to escape them. In an awesome move she grabbed one of their forearms and looped it around there hulking size legs flipping them over hard enough to where they sprawled downwards on the floor, giving Marian just enough time for her to rush towards me again.__

__"Marian you have to stop this... you have to stop this now...The voice of reason pleaded__

__I whirled around seeing red at my new attacker, who reached out trying to grab me again. Purely out of instinct my body turned sharply, executing a roundhouse kick dropping the person in front of me, when a wild derange laughter one of pure evil shot through me.__

__"That's not what Levent said, mmmm he looks pretty sober to me! Then again I hear you're so cheap that anything is under a dollar, and half the time, you can't give it away for free! Does that mean only the dogs love you? I hear the ones at court are big garbage eater and honey you smell pretty rank to me!" I growled out ramming towards her.__

_"_Roza no..."__

__Bending down and plowing my head into the center of Marian's chest, while she hammered away into my back with both of her fists. The speed, in which I took us both in, had us exploding out of the living room's front window, with me sprawled on top of her. Our bodies rolled all through the sand picking up the dirt and palm leaves coating every inch of our skin and hair, as we continued to roll and roll. __

__Both of our fists were swinging wildly out towards the other in the air, desperately trying to hit whatever target we could find, when Marian's head struck a rock temporarily dazing her. Out of my peripheral vision, I spotted a long jagged piece of glass, which I reached for as the sharpened slivers bit tenderly into my fingertips, as I managed to grasp it within my hand. Using my left hand, which I had been keeping wrapped around Marian's throat, where my fingers were squeezing inwards. I glared death back into her eyes, as I raised the jagged piece of glass high into the air ready to deliver the finale death blow.__

__"Do it you piece of shit!" Marian croaked out still struggling to get free of me. "You're the piece of garbage whose been sleeping with my husband!" I looked at Marian in shock and in horror digesting her words, making my first mistake of hesitating. "You heard me, blood whore; Levent's my husband...home wrecker."__

__I never felt the blow that landed on the side of my face, or the one after that, much less, seeing it coming when brute force tackled me to the ground and chucked the broken glass from my out of my hand. I was completely and utterly mind fucked!__


	40. The Land Of The Lost

_A nuclear size explosion throbbed painfully in my head, as I fought through the pain and the sea of darkness._

_"Damn." I moaned struggling to open my eyes, while the pounding in my head intensified and my stomach lurched forward in cramping nausea. "What hit me?"_

_"Dimitri." Abe commented. When my eyes finally did open, Abe was sitting in a chair that was pulled up beside the side of the bed, along with my mom._

_"Well that explains a lot! Did I piss in his honey bunches of oats or something?" I asked feeling weird and funky as though I was going to be sick._

_"Here takes these...it should help your head some." Mom spoke slipping a couple of pills into my hand, then reaching over to the end table and handing me a glass of water._

_"No, you tried killing the queen's emissary Marian, instead." Abe corrected suddenly the memories came rushing back._

_"She's Moroi Rose...she's royalty, for god sakes, what were you thinking?" Mom said exasperatingly. "Assaulting her alone is treasonous...again Rose, what the hell were you thinking?" She said in a chastising guardian's voice._

_Blinking a few times and getting my eyes to focus, the same haze of anger, the same rage that I felt came rushing back, pounding even harder into me then the headache._

_"What was I thinking?" I said forcing every muscle in my body to sit up, which felt as if they had gone on strike. "I was thinking… Marian had a lot of balls to dig up dirt on me! To have good people, sign those fucked up affidavits of hers, calling me a blood whore, or accuse me of sleeping around! What … you think the way she does? You think… I asked for any of this?" I growled back with my voice climbing up a few octaves._

_Sighing mom rested her head into her hands and covered her face exhaling slowly. "Of course not ….we brought you to Turkey to get away from all the problems you were having in court with Dimitri and Lissa." Mom acknowledged, looking towards Abe, seeking his help in the matter. "How she got her hands on those documents is beyond me."_

_"Well I have a good idea as to the how part." Abe interjected. "The question is why? That's what I would like to know."_

_"Levent... that's why." My voice trembled thinking of all the times he kept saying he wanted a relationship me and those brief mind blowing moments we had shared together alone. How fucking close I had been, on a number of occasions, to giving myself to him in the throes of passion. "Did you pay him to seduce me old man...Not exactly." Abe finished cutting me off; I rolled my head, looking at the far side wall away from him. I sure as hell didn't want to hear this._

_"Levent had his own set of problems when he came back to the family. He's been with me for so long now; I've always revered him like a son. So much of your 'needed' answers will have to come from him." Abe said his eyes shrewd as ever, still being loyal to a man, and Abe was far from being that way towards me. "But I did hire him." Abe said getting up from his chair walking towards the window and pulling the sheer silken curtain aside to look outside. "I paid Levent to get close to you, by any means he saw fit, distracting you from Dimitri._

_"You were in such a bad way, when Lissa and Dimitri affair came out at court..." Mom countered, almost pleading out for my understanding. What hurt the most was sadly I had been right all along about Abe's relationship with Levent. It was why I never allowed myself to get close to him, but hearing it being confirmed, ugh… god in heaven, help me, it was just the fucking icing on the cake. "So you hired, no paid for a man to shower me with attention, to get me into the sack." I replied sarcastically. "How very fatherly of you...you're parental duties never cease to amaze me." I snorted out in disgust._

_"No." Abe corrected "To get close to you, give you a purpose in protecting you're new charge, transforming you into an even better guardian then what you were. Most of all snap you out of the depression you were in. According to your mother, you were going downhill fast; you needed an intervention, one I had thought I was providing. Anything else that had developed was strictly between you and Levent." Abe finished then turning back around with a guilty expression flashing into his eyes._

_"Only because you paid him too." I screamed out throwing up my hands now thoroughly pissed off. "I was nothing more than a fucking job to him." Growling bitterly over his betrayal. "A job that came with a lot of fucking perks, wouldn't you say? ... Did you know he was married?" Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, my head shook violently, already knowing the answer, before it had even been spoken._

_"Yes." Abe replied stiffly. "But it's not what you think; you should …...get out." I screamed forcing my protesting body off the bed, shoving the physical pain into the back ground of my head somewhere._

_"He's good for you Rose! He's you're match, you're perfect equal." When Mom yelled that back, I wanted to hurl. Right the married fucker was my perfect match! Did she fucking just say that shit to me?_

_ "I'm done!" I gasped, sick and tired of all their lame ass excuses. "I've had it with the both of you... just get out." Grabbing the bedpost, my legs wobbled dangerously from underneath me, when the ground started moving. Damn, Dimitri hit me hard._

_"Rose... I." Mom stated not sure of really what she could say to make everything all better, when she stretched her hand out towards me. Baulking from just the mere idea of her or Abe touching me, sent me flying backwards away from her. Not needing, nor wanting, her sympathy or pity, my eyes slammed closed for a few seconds to where I refused to even look at her._

_"Save it." I snarled back. "I hate you both." I whispered refusing to let myself break in front of them when my eyes opened. "I don't want to see either one of you again...Rose please." Mom started to beg when the old man placed his hand on her shoulder stopping her._

_"If either one of you..." I replied more quietly, flicking my eyes towards my mother, then towards Abe's. "…Ever loved me, even in the smallest measure as my mother and father, then you'll leave and never try and see me again."_

_"Rose you don't mean what you're saying." Abe stated looking dubiously at me. "You're mother...is just as bad as you are old man, only worse. I hate you both and want you gone out of my life." With my fingers tightly wrapped around the bedpost, my head shook from side to side. No more, that was it; no more, I just couldn't handle it anymore. Whatever threads of sanity were left had snapped with Marian. The soft fading sounds of my parent's footstep and the closing of the door had me looking back at it. Would they finally give me the peace that I had longed for and needed so much? Was this really the turning point where my life was my own? Walking over towards my closet and opening up the door. In a small heap, lying on the floor was the shirt and jeans that I had been wearing the night I had been restored._

_Slipping my hands into the pockets and taking a deep breath, my fingers felt around the soft jean material, until my fingertips came across the necklace. The cold golden yellow chain almost sparkled and gleamed in the small lighting in the room. Renewed warmth spread into my fingers moving up into my wrist and slowly working its way into my arm. When I had been Strigoi, I believed Dimitri when he had told me he loved me. Now everything was screwed up, what am I thinking; everything had been screwed up since the night I found him and Lissa together. It would seem, I had spent my whole life searching for someone to love me, my mom... Abe ... Dimitri. Everywhere that I turned was met with lies, deceit, manipulations, head games from somebody else's agenda._

_Laying down on the bed, my eyes closed and the thin peaceful veil of sleep took me under as I held the necklace delicately in my hand. The darkness of my dream world opened up, back to the night of the train wreck. Surrounded in nature's own little paradise, treetops were capped in fine misting powdered snow covering the upper branches. A white carpet covered the earth, every step that I took, small crunching sounds from the ground crackled under my shoes. Even in the veil of dreams, I couldn't help but shiver from the frigid coldness of the outside and seeing my former Strigoi self._

_Dimitri was just a few yards away, blocking my former self from getting to Lissa. Tussling in my sleep, I moaned out in agony. "Please, if there ever was a god, don't make me relive this." I cried out earnestly. "I'll go to church, hell, even pray every day, but please don't make me go through this again." I reasoned._

_"Are you ready to kill me now?" I asked so softly that Dimitri jumped and took on a more protective posture. He was issuing a challenge, where I had to go through him, just to get to her. The dream was too real, too vivid, I ran towards the outer edges of the tree line to escape. But within seconds I was running right back from where I had left. Dimitri was this close; I bent forward retching, gagging on the vomit that raced out of my mouth and spewing all over the ground. I was so damn close, just a couple of steps away from the fight and all the blood, my god, there was so much of it, it was everywhere._

_Raking my claws down the front of his chest, I screamed at my Strigoi self to stop, but she kept her expressionless face trained on Dimitri, the whole time. I even tried shouting out a warning to him, but he couldn't hear my screams. In fascination, I watched his shirt change to rustic red within seconds, soaking through the soft cotton material. The smell of his blood was heady, a rush all of its own, and it spurred me on. The blood lust was starting to take hold, fueling my need and desire to finish this. Just as Dimitri hobbled back, in a lightning fast move his injured foot came up, which I wasn't expecting, as a well delivered roundhouse kick and knocked me a few feet backwards, but not before I heard something crack in his foot._

_Running over towards them, I tried pushing my Strigoi self away from him, separating the two.__Anything to make the horrifying nightmare from coming true again, but just like a specter, a ghost without a physical body, the two stepped through me, as they continued to fight to the death. Relentlessly, I tossed and turned on the bed, coated in a fine layer of drenching sweat. Grappling the sheets in clenched up fists, trying to force myself awake, but nothing, just the icy cold temperatures of the train wreck. _

_Lunging forward and throwing all my body weight into him, we both landed and rolled in the snow as the downy soft snow flakes coated our hair. Dimitri's fists were swinging wildly when I caught his left arm, while our bodies rolled. With my right hand, as our bodies slowly came to a stop, I thrust my gnarled up claws and fingers deeply into his chest, feeling his ribs crackling and buckling under the pressure. The bones splintered around in my fingertips as I pushed my hand in even deeper into his chest, rupturing his lungs and other organs that were in the way. His warm blood encased my hand like a glove, running down my arm in rivets, drenching us both, until Dimitri gasped out._

_"No." I screamed, jerking right up on the bed, covering my head with my hands. Big blistering tears streamed out of my eyes, as I sobbed in agonizing hell. It was too real, his warm blood on my hands, pouring out. I could still feel Dimitri last choking gasping breath, while he stared upwards no longer seeing me._

_"It wasn't real Rose." Christian shook me hard enough that I felt my teeth rattling. "It was a bad dream only a bad dream."_

_"It was...it was real." I shuddered abhorrently. "I was there ...there was so much blood." I cried out incoherently mumbling and I couldn't eject the memory out of my head._

_Christian hauled me up into his arms and I laid my head on his shoulders, when he settled back against the headboard of the bed taking me with him. The minutes ticked by slowly, regardless of how long I had been crying, he had held me and wasn't letting go._

_"You want to tell me what it was about?" He asked stretching to lift the sheet to cover me with. "No." I breathed into his warm bare chest, feeling the slow steady beating of his heart. _

_With the tips of my fingers I traced the well-built planes of his stomach and abs, Christian hissed between his soft parted lips, but he didn't try and stop me. Stroking my fingers upwards towards the muscular build of his ribs and over the definition of his pecks, then back towards his abs. Christian's own warm seeking fingers traced invisible patterns in between my shoulder blades and down towards my lower back. _

_We had always been close, the best of friends and more so after Dimitri and Lissa. We had always managed to comfort each other, lending strength when it was called upon and needed. Support through all of the pain and right now Christian was what I needed. Through him, maybe he could be the distraction that my heart and soul needed; maybe he could help make me feel numb. It shouldn't be so hard to do, my mind reasoned. I felt dead inside anyway, but as more and more drama kept piling up, filling every corner of my life, so did the razor sharp pains of regret, guilt and betrayal felt. Those three emotions swept over me in an agonizing poison to where I longed just to feel as cold and empty on the inside. At least being numb you didn't care if everyone saw you as a blood whore, the way they all saw me. Nor did you care if you were the court slut and it didn't matter if, the people you loved most, hurt you. Yeah being dead on the inside was much better than being alive._

_"What's going through that mind of yours?" Christian said pressing his lips into my hair._

_"Trust me... you don't want to know." I murmured, debating if I should even say anything._

_"That's where you're wrong." He added lightly as I raised myself up looking into his pale icy blue eyes._

_"I can show you, better than I can tell you." Leaning down and lightly pressing my lips into his. Christian's warm eager inviting hands slid down the small of my back and moved over my waist, while his fingertips gripped into my bare hips firmly. There wasn't any romantic kindling sparks, or the same mind blowing attraction that I had often felt with Dimitri, or even Levent. But this was nice, slow, seeking, searching. His lips were soft with a sleek firmness and fiery warmth to the touch, it had been so long since him and I had kissed like this that exploration on my part, went out the window. _

_Sliding my warm hand over his smooth bare shoulder and into the silky locks of hair, Christian rolled into me pressing our chests together. Bracing his strong hand up, in between the shoulder blades of my spine, keeping the other firmly locked around my scantly covered hip flipping me over onto my back. Raising the toe part of my foot and rubbing the soles of my foot over his lightly speckled hair on his legs, Christian emitted a low sexy longing moan into my mouth, as my other hand slid downwards onto the small of his back. My fingernails dug slightly inwards into his skin, wanting what we were doing to keep on going. _

_Thrusting his eager tongue into my open mouth even further to explore every crevice, my craving lips glided against his making little smacking sounds. Our tongues hot moist and warm tangled, rolled and mated in an agonizing slow rhythm to where I need more, hell, even wanted more. _

_What was love? A lifetime of soul searching? Thinking you had found your better half or a soul mate, just too later on, discover that you really hadn't, and were doomed to spend eternity without them. Wasn't best friends meant to fit into this category? I may not know how to feel or even be able to identify what love really was anymore. But I couldn't face the future if Christian was in it. At least, it wasn't such a lonely plane of existence. _

_Sliding both of his seeking hands down the full lengths of my sides, one of his questing hands slipped under my night shirt. His hand was warm and tantalizing against my heated skin. Moaning with anticipation, my own hand slipped under the back side of his cotton bottoms feeling, caressing and teasing his heated flesh. _

_The kiss deepened as his palm flattened against me. My skin tingled and goose bumps rose wherever his silky smooth fingers touched. It was so soft and loving it sent a little surge through me. My hand moved over his sexy butt cheek feeling his tight muscular bottom. He tensed and pressed his hips against me and I could feel that his excitement was growing. My breath hitched as I felt his large member pressing into my thigh and I moaned as I lost myself in the feeling of his hot sexy body grinding into mine. The heated kisses picked up a notch as our hands groped and clutched at each other's body. _

_My hands pressed down on the waist band of his cotton boxers slipping them down his hips. Things were getting exciting and my mind was filled with the heat of the moment, letting it consume me, taking me away from all the stress and pain. My body was giving into to the sensual, much needed, touch of Christian's hands and lips on me. Wanting to take it all the way and not think twice. But just as things seemed to be headed in that direction, slowly Christian moved his lips away from mine. I whimpered out and nearly cried in desperation. For so few fleeting minutes, the pain and guilt of what I had done were gone. The distraction, in itself, had worked and yet, he was stopping, slowing this heated contact, the needed lustful intimacy, to a screeching halt._

_"I can't." Christian softly whispered._

_"Yes you can." I numbly added grounding my hip into his, shaking his head no. Christian leaned his head forward kissing along the side of my jawline. I closed my eyes, wishing he would keep going. _

_"No, I can't… trust me! I wish… the hell, I could Rose...God knows… I… I love you and have for a long time. Neither one of us have really talked about what we wanted for the future...and you." Christian stuttered drawing a quick breath and holding my gaze. "You've been through so much... and dealing with enough shit."_

_"So, tell me what you want." I said beseechingly, which brought a half smile to his face, while his pale icy cool blue eyes flickered back towards me._

_"Marriage, Rose...I don't know about you honey, but I'm tired of being alone. And children…. I want a full house of tiny little feet to run after and chase around the house. But mostly, I want a woman, that I can't keep my hands off, to be the mother of my children. Can you say the same?" He demanded, I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat, not really sure of what he wanted me to say._

_"I never thought about it to be honest...I have never seen my life being much more...than a guardian." Christian finished for me while his eyes flashed with disappointment. "That's why I can't... we can't!" He said dryly, but I could see the longing desire and the sadness as if he wished for me to say what he so desperately wanted to hear. _

_"Because you can't love me like that? "I whispered back, no longer really asking a question, but stating a fact, and he let out a deep sad sigh, closed his eyes and nodded his head yes in approval. "How can you be so sure? You want to I know you do!" I added sliding my hand down the back side of his thigh, feeling his leg muscle flex and tense up with his throbbing response along with my own need rearing its ugly head._

_"I'm a man; of course, I'm attracted to you physically. And again, I really do… love you, you know I do. But if we act on this…" He said as he grabbed hold of my hip and yanked my body to him. "… It's no different than just having sex… and my relationship with you." He said rolling his eyes, then closing them and grunting in frustration. "It means way more to me than just the simple act of sex. I'm not about to trash years and years of friendship over it." _

_Goodie, a guy who can't just take what was being freely offered. Damn, that was hard on my ego, another fucking bruise on my silly pride. Why couldn't he just do what others had done to me and take what's being offered? Why couldn't Christian just act like any other guy when it came to this fucking issue?_

_Tears were building up behind my eyes so I turned my head off towards the side. Not really caring if he saw them or not, damn, rejection was a painful bitch._

_"Then...then can you do two things for me? I mean, I won't ask for anything more after today." I asked as the tears slowly rolled down my cheek, taking his thumb, Christian slowly wiped them away, only for more to seep out._

_"Anything Rose... anything." He mumbled and kissed my jawline once more about to roll off of me.__Shuddering nervously, I brought my eyes back to his and took a deep steady breath, then exhaling it slowly._

_"I want you to bite me or at least...feed from me...what?" Christian nearly shouted, shoving away from me like I burned him, he rolled off of me and sat up stunned. Looking at me with utter shock and shaking his head no, because the very suggestion of it was just unbelievable. _

_"Please." I begged out. "Just for today. I promise I won't ask you to do it ever again...and the second thing you wanted." He sounded almost afraid to even ask, his voice tight and restrained with mixed emotions._

_"Just, for you to sleep here this once! I promise, I won't try anything! I'll even sleep on my side." Speaking so fast, I nearly tripped over my own words and feeling my face flame up with embarrassment, but not really wanting to face the rest of the day alone either. "Please!" I pleaded once more. "Just this once, I want to forget, to not feel anything."_

_"But you're not a blood whore Rose...please, I just want to let go and not care." Silently more tears slipped down and the mixed emotions of right and wrong flickered over Christian's face. Clearly, he was at war with himself. Muttering a curse, his hand slipped down towards my hair parting the single strands, while he pinned down my eyes with his piercing blues. Suddenly, he seemed to have reached a decision._

_"This is wrong on so many levels...if you truly care about me, at all; don't ask me to do this ever again." He said sternly in a low voice, and then lowered his mouth down towards my neck. Kissing the area softly, my eyes fluttered shut and goosebumps prickled over my skin. Raking my fingers into his sleek jet back hair, raggedly he drew in a deep breath. The tender caressing heat of his mouth fanned out around my skin, and I felt the pin pricks of his fangs bite down into my sensitive flesh._

_All the feelings of anger, guilt, pain, self-loathing and emptiness, fled from me in that one single bite. Endorphins rushed through me, taking its place, the high alone was incredible. All the different nerve endings in my body started firing all at once, coming to life and tingling in my skin. This was living! No pain, not a care in the world, as my mind detached from my body, floating aimlessly in the joyous sea of the unfathomable abyss. When Christian released me, I rolled over onto my side, feeling his hand slide back around my waist drawing me towards his chest._

_"Thank you." I mumbled out hearing his steady beating heart, while my eyes lost focus and closed taking with it all the heartache I had felt._

_"Go to sleep Rose." Christian whispered softly with an echo of sadness that lingered in the air, but I was too far gone to pay attention._

_When my eyes opened, he was still sleeping soundly. I got up from the bed, walking quietly over towards the dresser and pulling out a clean pair of blue jeans and a clean white halter top. The hot water of a shower was calling my name so I headed to the bathroom and crawled in, washing yesterday off of me. Glancing in the mirror and seeing my reflection, I couldn't help but see the bruising on my face from Marian getting a few good hits on me. My left eye was darkening with a nice little purplish lavender tinge, and black and yellow streaks running through it. From my cheekbone to my jaw, it looked the worse and was the most tender of all the bruises that I sported._

_Brushing back my hair, I smiled over the two tiny pin holes that were seen, as my finger traced the area around them lightly. Bites that should have been frowned upon, even more so scorned, but were very much needed to forget about the pain and to feel numb. Because of him the day closed without any more nightmares, and all the hellish guilt had faded. For now it was enough, pulling my hair back down over my shoulders to keep the tiny little beauties hidden. Food was more of an importance, and damn sure, was on the agenda._

_When I went downstairs, everyone else seemed to still be sleeping, I went into the kitchen looking for anything with sugar and carbs in it. Finding some chocolate donuts and some left over cold coffee, I didn't waste any time heating the much needed caffeine up and sitting down enjoying the rich sweet velvety glazed donuts. It was evenings like this one that I seemed to enjoy the most, the rest of the world was sleeping and I was alone. Alone in my solace to think, alone not having to hear rumors of what everyone thought about me or the silent whispering that went on around me. With my breakfast finished, placing the empty cup and plate into the sink and going outside, I jogged down on the beach doing laps as the sun faded. The darken bleakness of the nighttime sky filled the void from where the sun had been. The yellow moonlight cast its gentle rays on the water, mirroring its alluring reflection in the waves. With my feet pounding into the ground, another palm tree was passed, then another. Out of my peripheral I could have sworn I saw a shadowy figure standing behind one of them watching me. The hairs on my neck stood straight up in warning, letting me know that someone was there and I was no longer alone. God, I just wanted one moment of peace, but even that was too much to hope for as I sank down into the sand catching my breath._

_"I knew I would find you here." Levent said airily in his strong Turkish accent. "You always did vent through exercising...it seemed to help you clear your mind at times." When he stepped out from behind the palm trees he was wearing a long pair of faded stoned washed jeans, his shirt was a rich camel brown tucked in at the waist, as he slowly strode over towards me with his hands sunk deep into his pockets. Of all the people I had to see, right now he was someone I had just wanted to avoid. _

_"Great you've found me, now leave." Taking my eyes off him and looking back out at the tide that was coming in, the gentle waves lapped at the ground by my feet._

_"We need to talk...you need to at least let me explain why." Levent said defiantly his eyes never leaving mine. I knew that tone of voice; he wasn't going to let this go no matter what I said or did. Pushing up off of the sandy bank and onto my feet, wiping the sand from the back of my pants, I glared back at him giving Levent my famous go to hell kind of looks. Shaking my head, he sooo just didn't fucking get it, none of it!_

_"I said leave me alone, we don't have anything to talk about, at least...Dammit, Rose just hear me out." He said almost pleading as if I owed him something, his gray eyes narrowed on me and he muttered a curse out under his breath._

_ I strolled over towards him and my left fist went sailing into the air connecting hard into his face causing him to tumble back a couple of steps, man that felt good! Rubbing my hand, I went to walk around him when he grabbed me by my shoulder spinning me back around to face him._

_"Fine I deserve that!" Levent said in agreement from where my fist had connected, rubbing his jaw, he still wouldn't back down. "But you're going to listen to my side, you've only heard what Marian wanted you to hear, not my side of the story." He said with sharpness in his voice that made me flinch back as if he had spoken with razors. Jabbing his finger into his chest his eyes burned hotly into mine. Guess Mr. High and mighty just hadn't had enough._

_"You've had five years." I said, raising my hand so he could see my fingers. "Five years, Levent, and now, because your wife lets the cat out of the bag, you suddenly feel the need to explain. What's there to explain?... You are married!" I growled out fully pissed off. So much for keeping my cool, so much for staying level headed. "What was I, a toy to you? A simple play thing that you could twist and turn just to see how screwed up I could get._

_"No." He said shaking his head dismissively._

_"Then what, a job perhaps, with fringe benefits! I mean come on; you're losing man points here!" I shouted so loudly that my entire body began shaking, god he was making me a fucking lunatic._

_"It wasn't like that at all Rose...I was hired to be you're guardian... you're mentor for the Conta's, falling in love with you wasn't a part of the plan. My head was already screwed up from Marian."_

_"You love me?" I half choked and laughed humorless out wanting to gag at what he was implying. "You love me so much that you decided to play games with me, by keeping your damn secrets and your whole don't ask questions policy because you'll never tell." I said bitterly as though I had been scorned. Crossing my arms over my chest, I took a measured deep breath then exhaled just as slowly._

_"Do you remember when I asked you, if you were only one in the world who had been cheated on? Well do you?" Levent asked with desperation filling his voice and his eyes became haunted. His whole line of questioning threw me for a loop, as I recalled, Levent dunking me under the water at the estate and trying to get me to cool off while he spouted some crap about there being other victims in world, who behave a hell of a lot better than me._

_"Yes." I said finally shaking my head and digging my fingernail deeply into my arms. I was digging them so deeply that I could feel the warm trail of stickiness slowly seeping down my arms, and I dug my nails in even deeper drawing even more blood. Taking his hand and rubbing his jaw roughly Levent drew in a deep breath, as though what he was about to reveal, caused him great pain._

_"I had been with your father for two years trying to forget about Marian when you came and I had long since filed for a divorce. Abe was taking care of everything, the paperwork, and the attorneys, all of it. The year that I filed Marian came up pregnant and I was happy." The grim smile was cold and distant as he looked down at his feet kicking the sand. "I was ecstatic at the prospects of becoming a new father, until I came home one day, early from work, and found my wife in bed with another man." He said sighing out loud. "Only, it wasn't just any other man!" He said shaking his head stunning me into silence._

_"Gregory." I squeaked out to which Levent nodded his head in agreement even harder._

_"That's right." He said sounding more challenging "My own brother, it turns out the affair had been going on for quite some time." Levent stood poised waving his hand into the air, and kicking the ground even harder._

_"The baby wasn't even mine, it was Gregory's...shortly after, Marian ran off with him and well, I filed for a divorce. I had hoped to never see either one of them again. Then, Abe started suspecting Marian and Gregory of embezzling huge amounts of cash, from one of his dummy corporations, that was tied into his arms trade. Because of his love of children..." Levent said raising his head to look at me dead in the eye and tapping on my chest with his index finger, making his meaning clear. "And the fact that Gregory was my brother, the old man showed them mercy, by simply making them disappear." Reaching down, Levent grabbed a handful of sand, letting the fine grains slip between his fingers. "Marian's influence and friendship with Priscilla Voda changed all of that, one of the queen's closes loyal friends were able to help Marian reinvent herself, taking on a new position as the queen's emissary. It wasn't until after you were turned that queen Tatiana assigned her to your case, once she had been informed of my involvement._

_"But what happened to the baby?" I asked shocked that Marian could just up and leave like that, after the way she had fought me over Levent. Shrugging his shoulders, the dim bleak look on his face, he was just as clueless. He didn't know as he turned and looked back at the water._

_"But you're not divorced either." I replied with a dry laughter of my own and throwing up both of my hands into the air in defeat. None of it really mattered anymore, not the possibility of us, or the secrets that Levent had been keeping from me. Abe hiring him, not the baby or Marian cheating on him, none of it mattered; it had all been a waste of time. "You're still married and it doesn't change the fact that you've had five years, Levent, to tell me._

_"Not by choice!" He angrily yelled back his gray eyes deepening into a rich steel color. "I filed the damn papers, but she...she never signed them! I guess Marian thought she could have her cake and ice cream too. That's why I was at court getting my marriage dissolved, because I wanted a relationship with you! Dammit, Rose, can't you see how much I love you?" He gruffly growled taking a deeper breath as though he was on edge himself._

_"You should have told me." I told him thickly as the small stabbing spears centered into my chest, always a lie, and being the other woman to somebody. I thought as I rubbed the space between my eyes. "Love doesn't involve lies, or secrets or any other forms of deceitfulness...love doesn't hurt! You should have told me." I argued. "You had five years' worth of time to tell me, but you didn't." _

_"What was I supposed to say Rose... that I was a failed husband! That my entire marriage was a lie?"_

_"Maybe you could have started with the truth." I smiled sadly back at him. "But now you'll never know." I said shrugging my shoulders with nothing else to say between us. He muttered something in Turkish so fast I couldn't quite pin point exactly what he had said. Knowing it was a lost cause; Levent turned around and walked up towards the direction of the lighthouse, leaving me to stare at the dark waters illuminated by the moon._

_Pulling my hands away from my arms I looked at the trickle of blood on my fingertips, rubbing the stickiness between my thumb and my index finger in fascination. The physical pain for the duration of our confrontation helped eased some of the pain that I felt on the inside, but those minutes had been fleeting, it just wasn't enough._

_Looking back at the water, I had one thought, and one thought only. Getting off of this island of the land of the lost, everyone here was lost in one sense of the word. Running towards the water, the cooling waves splashed around my legs soaking my jeans and halter top, as I waded out deeper and further into the oceans murky depths. Submerging my body the rest of the way in, I ignored the biting chill that prickled into my skin. Hand over hand; I pushed my body forward, kicking my legs one at a time, in a fluid smooth rhythm, propelling my body forward. As my body inched forward with each swipe and stroke, my hand cut into the surface of the waves. Clear images were flashing through my uneasy mind of everything that was going wrong in my life._

_It wasn't until the deep paralyzing fear engulfed me that I realized I was in trouble, but it wasn't coming from me. No longer was I swimming towards my freedom and escaping the darkness that I had left behind. The bond, that I had felt had been closed off to me after being restored, suddenly opened up and channeled every inch of my essence into her mind. An icy hand was closing around my mouth stifling my urges to scream. While another hand jerked the hairs of my head ruthlessly back, nearly snapping my neck. Throbbing pressure at the base of my neck and skull as though the fragile bone were splintering had me screaming out as I felt the agony she was in. _

_"Lissa." My mind shouted as I saw the suite of her quarters. Peering through her eyes like an outsider, her vision was blurry from tears building up, making everything in her room look distorted. A soft cloth was being held to her nose and mouth as she inhaled the noxious fumes, she began gagging and choking. Lissa tried screaming, while her hands tried prying the material away, but the cloth was shoved even harder against her face._

_"How soon will the chloroform kick in?" Through Lissa's glassy eyed stare, I knew she didn't have long before she passed out. A sickening sensation waved over me as it passed through the bond and Lissa's stomached knotted up in fear for her own safety. The girl that was bent over Lissa's had unruly light brown hair, flashing emerald green eyes and a triumphant smirk plastered across her face._

_"Jill." I cried out as rough hands quickly jerked Lissa's sagging limp body around to stare into the face of unadulterated evil. Serena's red glowing eyes carried a note of victory within their cold unfeeling depths. She had claimed the lamb that she had sought after, the prize she had wanted most of all. _

_The voice inside of me roared out more dumbfounded than ever. Strigoi's in court, how was that possible, where were the guardian's, confusion left me feeling even more weak and numb? Why was she unprotected? Where the hell was everyone? _

_Feeling myself sinking into the rolling tides, where gravity no longer applied, tossing and rolling me. I was trapped, locked into Lissa mind, feeling every bit of her mounting terror. Gasping for air and finding none, only more of the putrid salt water that filled my mouth as I felt my body sinking into the darkened depths._

_"Not long, but now the princess...daddy's favorite, can't cry out for help either...can you?" Serena pouted and taunted with a cold sneered. Goosebumps formed all over my body from both the frigid water and the sheer terror of Lissa being taken. Flailing my arms uselessly fighting against the currents, my head sunk beneath the waves as more of the salty water rushed into my mouth. With bone crushing strength, Lissa was tossed over Serena's shoulder knocking the breath out of her with sickening thud._

_"You should have told you me you were going to kill the queen that wasn't a part of the deal...make our sister pay, is what you said" Jill snarled in fury "I upheld my end, but you killing Tatiana wasn't a part of the plan."_

_"Stop your senseless babbling before I alter the deal even more! Lissa's life isn't the only one that I could be taking." Serena scolded, feigning her disapproval. _

_In desperation, adrenaline surged forward and rushed into every orifice. I had to save Lissa, my mind screamed as they were dragging her from the suite. Moving like the slippery serpent that she was, Serena stayed to the shadows. Her ominous presence moved swiftly through the royal Moroi's quarters. Stopping in the corridors making sure her exits weren't being blocked. She crossed the court grounds with Jill following her every move, shadowing the she demon. _

_My body pushed faster, harder than before, trying to escape the watery grave that was swallowing me whole, when finally my head broke through to the surface once more. "Oh... god...Lissa." I screamed her name loudly in between the enormous mouthfuls of liquid spilling into me. Painful cramps had formed in my upper and lower part of my thighs and calves, to where I felt I could no longer move. My arms felt disconnected and as if they were weighted down by cement. I began sinking again, please, don't let me drown here! I have to save her; I have to save Lissa! My mind was like a broken record as the chant rang in my thoughts. _

_Thrashing my arms over the surface, I sucked in as much air as I could into my starving lungs, knowing it would be only seconds when my head plunged back under the murky black waters. _

_Suddenly, I felt warm strong hands circling around my waist and shoulders hauling me back up to the surface.__Making sure that both of my hands were securely on the outer edges of the boat that was in front of us, I blinked several times squeezing the excess dripping water from my eyes, coughing and sputtering on all of the salt water I had swallowed. Dimitri's worried brown eyes came into focus as he stared back into my own._

_"They ….they have her." I cried, seeing Serena move away from the cemetery and out of the reach of the broken wards. Several feet away, Serena ran towards a dark black full size conversion van that waited. Opening up the driver's side door, Sony jumped out and slid the side door open and a moment later Lissa eyes slid close._

_ "Who has here Rose...is it Lissa? Roza talk to me, honey, who her?" With one hand firmly on my waist, he shoved me upwards into the boat, where I landed on the floorboards, shaken by everything I had seen. I hated Lissa, but not enough to want to see her dead. If anything, I was beginning to understand why Lissa and Dimitri had done what they did. _

_A few seconds later, he hauled his own body out of the water beside me. With my teeth shattering from the cold air hitting my skin my hands rubbed frantically trying to bring some much needed warmth into my body._

_"Strigoi's …..Strigoi's have her." My body was shaking and jerking into spasm so hard that my teeth rattled, making coherent speech nearly impossible. Instead of speaking, Dimitri vigorously stood up and started tossing the seat cushions around. Underneath one of the seat bench cabinets, he pulled out a thick wool blanket. Kneeling down he started wrapping it around my shoulders covering the top portion of my head, and then pulling me into his arms, offering whatever body heat that he could._

_"Rose, focus in on me, tell me what you saw." Dimitri calmly said as his fingers tips brushed over my chin, cupping my cold face so that I was looking at him. He knew there something majorly wrong, but the warming caring look he had in his eyes remained patient and understanding, while his other hand pressed me further into him offering me his strength._

_"I saw...I saw Serena, Jill, and Sonya; they were carrying Lissa away from court when she passed out. I don't know where they're going." I mumbled as the rest of me shook, squeezing my eyes shut. Jill's words replayed in my mind as I tried repeating them out loud._

_"Dimitri, the Queen." I said shaking my head and his heated fingertips caressed my cheek even more, encouraging me to continue. "The queen is dead and Serena killed her." Dimitri's jaw tightened as he clinched his teeth drawing a deepening breath, his arms wrapped around me even tighter, holding me for a few more precious seconds. "We have to go back." I croaked out resting my head on his chest, in comfortable silence he just held me bringing much need warmth back into my skin. _

_"I agree we do need to go back, but we don't know if they're plotting a trap for us." Dimitri said momentarily thoughtful, as though something had occurred to him. "We don't even know what were up against." I replied in a more choked voice, the back of my throat burned from the amount of saltwater I had swallowed and my body was rebellion, as though it was on strike, with all the cramping and aching that I was feeling._

_ His dark eyes scanned over the water, his fingertips lightly pressed into my arms rubbing the wool blanket over me. The corner of his lip twitched, raising his other hand his fingers combed his dripping hair back looking even more concerned. "Do you mind tell me what you're doing out here?"_

_"Drowning." I replied back with my teeth chattering even more, while the rest of me continued to tremble._

_"That's not what I meant and you know it." Dimitri said wearily, raising his eyebrow at me expectantly, wanting an answer. In the old days he would have cracked a half smile or even a grin at my wittiness; apparently he didn't see anything funny about the whole situation._

_"Leaving the island." I said burying my face into my knees._

_"So you thought you could swim all the way back to court... is that it?" He asked, feeling like an idiot and wrapping the blanket even tighter around me, I dropped my eyes nodding my answer back to him. Fully expecting Dimitri to yell at me, or say something about how incredibly stupid I was for trying a stunt like this, or how impossibly reckless my behaviors were._

_"What do you expect from me? You've seen how crazy it's been, I mean, dealing with you was one thing." I said rolling my eyes and pulling out of his embrace "But all of them... that's just… one to many who flew over the Cuckoo's Nest… you know what I mean?" Biting on my lip, I wasn't about to let on how everything inside the lighthouse was just getting to me._

_ "It's sure as hell wasn't the way I had planned your recovery." Dimitri nodded in agreement getting up to his feet. His fingers twitched nervously, strumming down at his sides, not saying anything, even though the look he had on his face said he very much wanted to say more._

_ Instead he went to the front of the boat turning on the motor and began steering the boat in the direction of the shore line. When I looked out over the water, all I could see was the cover of darkness and the shadowy images of the moonlight scattering from the boat vibrations. How I had managed to swim this far out was beyond me. Then again, I hadn't really been thinking at all, just trying to escape. Letting out a troubling deep breath, I wrapped the blanket even further around me letting my eyes flicker from Styles, Camille, Christian, Serena and Levent faces, seeing them standing on the docks waiting for us. When Dimitri pulled us in, he tossed the rope towards Styles; tying off the rope he towed the boat closer towards the peer. Helping me up to my feet, Dimitri leaned in close behind me, his hand staying firmly on my waist to steady me on my feet._

_"When you get inside, make sure you change into a shirt to cover the marks on your arms." He whispered low into my ear. With a gentle nudge he pushed me forward to where Christian reached out helping me off of the boat._

_"Going for a late night swim?" Christian asked his pale blue eyes looking me over under close scrutiny._

_"Something like that." Dimitri replied back before I had a chance to speak. "Rose just lost her barring's out there and couldn't find her way back to the docks." The lie slid easily from Dimitri lips even sounded almost believable. Why he was covering for me was anybody's guess, considering he hated lying just as much, or at least he used to._

_"Is that what really happened Rose?" Levent's voice asked deadpan, not believing a single word of it._

_"Everyone get your gear." Dimitri ordered using his mentoring voice, firm, but commanding nonetheless._

_"By whose authority." Marian asked stepping around Levent, her glaring eyes shooting daggers at me from where she stood. "I was sent here by the Queen." She replied lifting her head looking indignantly back at him._

_"Lady, I sure as hell don't answer to you...and while you're on this island you're nothing but a guest, so I suggest you pack." Dimitri replied in a more sinister voice, pulling me through the small gathered crowd, urging me forward towards the lighthouse. "And for your information, the queen is dead, and Vasilisa Dragomir has been taken."_

_"Ahhh… that's right your shadow kissed, aren't you...connected to the princess right?" Marian chuckled out pointing her finger towards me as though she was putting some invisible pieces together. "We're supposed to take the word of some junked out blood whore?" She scolded, feigning disapproval ringing in her voice. _

_Rolling his fist, Dimitri stiffened, pulling me beside him. Never had I ever seen him want to hurt a woman as much as he wanted to hurt her. If looks could kill Marian would have been vaporized where she stood._

_"Marian!" Gregory snapped his voice on the verge of shouting causing most of us to jump, myself included. He had always seemed so quiet with a gentle, friendly disposition, but the way he yelled at her was completely unexpected._

_"We have all, more then heard enough and quite frankly I'm sick of it! You should be ashamed of yourself for the way you're treating this poor girl. Guardian Hathaway has been considered a hero amongst her friends, as well as the royal counsel." He exhaled shakily, his voice coming out more strained as rubbed his fore head watching her wearily. "And you, Marian." he said shaking his head sadly "You're just pathetic." Shoving his hands into his pocket, Gregory shot Marian a fleeting look and walked past her heading back up towards the lighthouse._

_Following Dimitri inside, for once I felt like I could breathe. Going home… my mind echoed again for like the millionth time. I didn't know if I could handle seeing Eddie again. How was I supposed to look him in the eyes after what I had done? What if he was still imprisoned in a royal cell somewhere, and kept under some damn lock and key. I had ruined his life, maybe even destroyed his career and somehow I had to face him. I owed Eddie that much. I had hurt so many Moroi's and guardians at court, smashing the mantra into tiny pieces until there was virtually nothing left. _

_Filled with both trepidation and excitement, fantasies of seeing Adrian again also crossed my mind. The passionate kiss we shared in his dream walk had me fingering my lips slowly, as though his mouth were on mine. An intoxicating heated rush shot down to my core warming me. Closing my eyes as though I was trapped in time I could almost feel his skin gliding against mine, the touch of his lips caressing my skin, every part of me burned from the recent memory. I was more than looking forward to seeing Adrian, and getting a hell of a lot closer._

_ Racing up the stairs and pulling the closet door open, following Dimitri's suggestion, I found a long sleeve baggy sweat shirt hanging up with Cyrillic writing on it._

_"Great." I snorted remembering when Dimitri had given me the stupid thing. I hadn't remembered even packing it when I moved to Turkey and like a bad dream it was here. Glancing around for anything else in the closet to where and coming up short, rolling my eyes I reluctantly snatched the damn shirt from the hanger. A few minutes later I was dressed in navy gray sweat pants to match the sweat shirt. Both looked baggy on me from all of the weight loss, but at least the clothing was warm and comfortable. _

_I wasted no time in collecting my belongings and dumping them into the suitcases. In record time, in true guardian fashion, my possessions were packed in under five minutes. Both Camille and Serena were standing in front of my door with the suitcases and duffel bags in hand waiting._

_"Ready." Camille asked cocking her head to the side, taking one last look around the bedroom and seeing the necklace lying on the bed I dropped my bags running towards the small chain. I opened the clasp and slid the chain around my neck, the cool golden metal centered on my chest where it took its place close to my heart, hidden under the sweat shirt. Some things just shouldn't be forgotten, after what I had done to Dimitri, even though I detested reliving the nightmare of killing him, there was no way in hell I could leave the necklace behind._

_"Now I'm ready." I replied nervously, a deep shudder coursed through me as I thought of everyone back at home, knowing I was hours away from seeing them._

_By the time everyone had all met down stairs, Dimitri had already arranged for our transport. Another boat ride, my mind snapped out, as we stepped onto the peer. Dimitri flashed me a half smile when his hand glided over the dry rotted surface of the dock, feeling along the wooden edges a tiny camouflage door opened where he pressed a small silver button._

_"You might want to step back." He warned everyone with a shooing of his hand, as we stepped back towards the shore again. The dock floorboards started retracting with each metallic clanking sound it made one grainy step at a time. Another large boat appeared out from under the dock had been. Dimitri stepped aboard holding his outstretched hand towards Marian, Serena and Styles was next, followed by Debain. "Levent you're sure you can captain this boat?" Dimitri asked when Levent stepped down taking the helm._

_Clearing his throat and looking back towards me Levent nodded his head in agreement. "Just lead the way." He acknowledge back._

_Turning towards Christian, he looped his arm over my shoulder pulling me away towards our own boat, which floated only a few meters away. Glancing over towards Gregory, there was so much pain and anguish behind his grays. Clearly he loved Marian, but whatever thoughts he was having, only seemed to trouble him even more as he climbed aboard the second boat. It wasn't long when Dimitri Christian and I boarded. Taking our seats, Dimitri started the engine and the motor purred with life, flicking on the lights he guided away from the peer. _

_My head was pounding like a fucking jackhammer was beating it into the ground. The pain behind my eyes was excruciating and I could hear this high pitched ringing in my ears. The roar of the boat motors echoed in my head, making me feel sick to my stomach, but the queasiness was even worse when I caught sight of the small airfield._

_ The thought of going home made bile eject from my nauseous stomach to the back of my throat. I swallowed it down hard as the taste lingered in my mouth. As I made the walk to the plane, I felt as though I was making the death march. The fear of what was to come, dragging me down into a sense of despair. I knew I had to go, I have to save Lissa, but it was torturous knowing what all I must face. Dimitri was eying me suspiciously; I could see he was expecting me to bolt. Knowing how much pressure this will be for me. God, I hate that he knows me so damn well. It's just nerves, I told myself when I took my seat by the window, rubbing the painful spot between my brows I closed my eyes._

_"Scared about going home?" Christian asked flopping down beside me, peering one eye at him he pulled me into the comforts of his arms where I rested my head against his chest._

_"More then you'll ever know." I replied dully, scrunching up my eyes to relieve the painful stabbing. "It's Eddie." I said knowing I wouldn't have to explain any further._

_"Dammit Rose's, he's not going to blame you...no one does" He reminded me, his voice hard and grating. With his thumb on my spine he slowly trailed it over my shoulder blades. _

_"He may not blame me, but I do. Hell, I'm already a circus freak in everyone eyes and I'm sick to death of pretending just how 'normal' I am. I'm not me anymore." I said jamming my thumb into my chest._

_ "I've completely trashed one of my closest friend's lives. How can I ever be forgiven? How, can I ever expect forgiveness in their eyes- Eddie, Tasha, and Mia –I said twirling my finger. The realization of what Dimitri had meant about no penitence, atonement or the forgiveness of sins sapped my strength making me feel weak and drained. Closing my eyes and biting down hard on the inside of my cheek just to keep from scream he was right. "Now, I understand why Dimitri pushed me away. Never being able to forgive himself for the crimes against the ones he loved. It makes perfect sense now." I muttered feeling Christian hand tighten over my shoulder. _

_The plane lifted off the ground and my stomach did a very annoying little flip, bad enough that I knew it was coming up. I jumped from the chair and ran to the little bathroom in the back of the plane. All eyes were on me as I made the walk back to my seat after everyone on the plane could hear me retching up my last meal. My voice in my head kept repeating my new mantra scolding myself, breathe just breathe! Just be normal, be calm and be normal._

_"You all right?" Levent asked with mingling concern seeping into his voice, when I passed his seat averting my eyes and squaring my shoulder off._

_"Peachy, I'm just peachy, you still pretending you give a shit?" I mocked receiving a hardening icy glare from him. _

_When I went back to my seat, Christian pulled me back into his arms, closing my eyes I willed the headache to go away. The pounding trumpets of blood sloshed in my ears, threatening to split my head wide open. God, how I wished Adrian was here. I was almost asleep when Christian pulled gently away from me. Camille's voice lightly whispered to him._

_"I need to talk to you." She spoke quietly._

_"Same here! By any chance could you tell Dimitri to come over, we'll talk a few seats back so we're not disturbing her, and she just finally went to sleep." He said gently, and placed a warm fleeting kiss to my brow. His hand drifted slowly as he was moving the hairs away from my eyes. _

_"Didn't you hear both Abe and Janine left?" Camille said quietly to Christian when I rolled in my seat leaning my head deeper into the cushion listening. "They left around twelve o'clock this afternoon, in the middle of the day, while everyone else had been sleeping. It was right after their big fight with Rose._

_"So?" Christian said seemly unconcerned. "Both the old man and Rose's mom are known for doing that sort of thing...Janine hardly ever visited Rose back at school and the old man, he didn't really become a part of her life until she came back from Siberia and then was sent to Turkey."_

_"Well, I heard from Styles that they left because Rose's former charge Marie was attacked by Strigoi's and then later, Abe received a call from Adrian saying his aunt had come down sick again. The poor guy." Camille stated with sympathy lacing her voice and covering her hand over her eyes. "He just lost his aunt...he hasn't wanted to say anything to Rose because he doesn't want to upset her._

_"So you're saying Guardian Hathaway and the old man knew the whole time?" Christian asked in a sunken voice. 'Why didn't they say something, I mean how could they do that to her...because" Dimitri said clearing his throat._

_" Because of Rose, and the fact her mother didn't think she could take any more, which is why she has me keeping close tabs on her after last night. Guardian Hathaway is convinced Rose is at her breaking point." Dimitri trailed off, giving a weary sigh, at a total loss for words. Everyone was so damned worried about me and whether I was or wasn't Strigoi anymore, they had withheld valuable information from me, thinking that I would vamp out and now my charge was out there somewhere exposed and at risk. I had to show everyone I was normal! I had to prove the violent outburst with Marian wasn't because I was still part Strigoi._

_"I'm inclined to agree with her." Christian said drawing in a deep breath then exhaling, his voice so damn pained and miserable, that I wanted shake him. I was fine and they don't have to worry about me._

_"This guilt of hers it's eating her up, you should have heard her, with the way she was claiming you were right about sins not being forgiven and stuff. I mean the way she was talking about destroying Eddie's life scares the hell out of me." Hearing enough, I focused on Adrian, hopping he would see me as I drifted off into a peaceful sleep._


	41. Past Present And Future

_"_I think she's finally coming around...you think?" The voices in the back ground said. My mouth felt dried out like I had swallowed a mouth full of sand and gravel. The pulsing throbbing rocketed the back of my skull threaten to explode. A sense of helplessness flooded through me, as more of my sensory motor skills started waking up. Lights flickered from behind the back of my eyelids sending more sky radiating flames into the back of my cranium; while I struggled through the darkness trying to claw my way back upwards towards the light.__

_"_How long did you hold the rag under her nose?" The male voice asked. "If it was just for a few seconds then she should have already awaken by now." I knew that voice while my head tussled in my sleep. I heard it before but I couldn't quite place it. One thing was for sure I knew it, the deep baritone quality smoothness, strong with self assurance. __

_"_She fought and would have got the attentions of the guardians so the others did what they had to do." There was a source of foreboding since of superiority in her voice. She wasn't afraid of the male she was talking to anymore then the person she was talking about. Distantly I could hear the dripping of a leaking water facet, dripping one molecule drop of water at a time with a thunderous drip.__

_"_Ummm." I moaned out painfully, however that didn't sound like me. Hazily my eyes slowly rolled away from the back of my head rolling forward toward the grainy light which kept flickering in my eyes.__

_"_See she's coming around, it just took a little longer then you had expected." She told him once again.__

_"_And our other guests how soon will they be arriving?" He asked. __

_"_Shortly." The woman chuckled with an emotionless laugh. "Serena and a few others are ambushing them as we speak.__

_"_They'll make an exceptional addition to our family, putting me in a place of power." He told her very thoughtfully.__

_"_No!" The harshness in her voice had me peeling my eyes slowly to wakefulness with a start, while every painful muscle in my body clinched and tightened. "There mine after what that bitch did to me... there mine!" Growling with rage Sony's silhouetted features even though hazy and blurry appeared, everything in me tensed and coiled at the Strigoi. I couldn't make out who she was talking to, he remained hidden and obscured in the darken shadows of the room.__

_"_Lissa!" I groaned out knowing now I was trapped inside her head. Slowly she was coming around even though she still wasn't fully conscious.__

_"_I was promised...and dammit I won't be cheated of my revenge!" She snarled out.__

_"_And you'll shall have it." He replied back seemingly unimpressed by her menacing outburst. "But wouldn't you rather her suffering to be drawn out even longer by gaining even more power, then wielding that stake of hers into her heart?"__

_"_No!" Sonya spat out in a eerily chilling cold voice. "I want what she took from me and I want the gratification of it now!" She growled out pointing her deadly claws at the ground like she could conjure up the fates. __

__"I want to destroy everything that little bitch loves starting with them." As if sensing my presence Sonya spun around growling and throwing Lissa a million to one death stares freezing my blood cold. __

__"You're with us now aren't you?" She asked cocking her head off towards the side while her long claw like nail raked downwards on the skin of her cheek. __

__"You need to quit spying on us." Sonya spoke ominously quiet when she moved with lightening fast Strigoi speed towards Lissa. Sonya's talon shaped claws crudely grasped her by the back of her hair, snapping her head back to where the bones in her neck popped. Lissa gasped in terror when Sony lowered her face within mere inches away from hers so that she could glare back into her glowing blood lusted red eyes. Only it felt more like it was my neck she was stretching back, like she could see me through Lissa eyes. Cold evil hatred poured off of her, frightening Lissa even more. __

_"_I know your in there Rose watching... waiting... trying to get a fix on us." Sonya purred out coldly, then tugging on Lissa's hair even harder so she cried out. __

__" But it's not time for you yet!" She grinned out coldly exposing her fangs which oozed with thick clearish drool. With an overwhelming strength and power of spirit I was forcefully kicked out and sent reeling back into my own head. Opening my eyes Dimitri was holding Levent back, stopping him for some reason from coming towards me.__

_"_You were with Lissa?" Dimitri stated "Did you recognize where they were holding her?" He asked calmly. Pushing between the two men to get them out of the way, Christian slid into the seat beside me.__

_"_No." I told him shaking my head and sitting up. Blinking rapidly to clear my vision Christian pulled me into his comforting arms. Levent took in a deep tight controlled breath, his jaws locking firmly into place as he shot Christian a murderous look. __

_"_I didn't recognize anything." I told Dimitri then reaching up and moving the hair away from my eyes, to see him more clearly. "She was with Sonya, and coming out of the affects of the chloroform."__

_"_Was that all you saw?" Christian asked when his hands tightening even more around me. __

_"_Yeah...that was it." I stumbled out and lowering my head averting my eyes away from Dimitri. I don't know why I had lied the way that I did, but for some reason I wasn't going to tell him about the mystery man I had heard. Or someone very close to me being taken or how Sonya planned on using them against me. If that bitch wanted to seek me out... fine here I was. If she wanted blood then dammit it was time for her to come and get some.__

_"_You're lying." Levent exhaled slowly watching my every reaction carefully. "I don't know why you're doing it... but you're holding back something and I'm going to find out what it is." He threatened.__

_"_Hows the wife?" I asked cheerily changing the subject just to see him huff out a deep breath. His gray eyes flashed dangerously back at me with unspoken rage. Hmm must of struck a nerve! My eyes slowly slid across the isles of seats of the plane, then fell onto hers. Marian's head kept darting back and forth from seat to seat looking over her shoulder watching the four of us, when a small faint smile pushed through my lips. Moistening them with the tip of my tongue I looked back into his harder than granite steel grays. Even for me that was one hell of a low blow meant to hurt him, just looking at the way his body was straining forward, I had achieved that goal. All I had wanted to do was make Levent back off. __

__I suggest you leave, your clearly not wanted." Christian warned, the message in his sharp pale icy blues being only too clear. With his hands securely wrapped around my back, his muscles tensed up. His fingers splayed across my shoulder blades claiming possession were warm and getting hot by the mill a second, while he starred him down. __

_"_What are you not telling us?" Levent demanded leaning down towards me, when Dimitri just as fast pulled him back up.__

_"_I don't know what you're talking about." I told him quietly then shaking my head. __

__"She looks awfully lonely sitting there all... by herself." I managed a small chuckle and carelessly pointing in her direction keeping the subject on Marian __

__"Why don't you go and play husband and take care of your wife." I added emphasizing the f. He was looking at me as though I had become alien and foreign to him. Yes I wanted to be cruel even hateful towards him, we had no future together and never did, he ensured that with all of his secrets. Levent was the lowest of the lowest, he was lower then pond scum at least pond scum served a healthy purpose. No he was the puss and the mucus that ate off the pond scum. __

_"_Get you're fucking hands off of me." Levent exploded on Dimitri when he jerked away from his restraining hold. Getting low into my face his gray sharp piercing eyes bore down into mine. His hot breath blew across my face, while patches of red spread across his cheeks. __

__"You can't make me hate you!" He snapped in a predatory voice. "No matter how much you would like me to."__

_"_You blew it... now all she wants do is get the hell away from you." Christian ______replied, a cruel taunting smirk turned up the corners of his lips as he stared Levent down, letting him know he wasn't in the least bit intimidated.______  
><em>_

_"_That's enough." Dimitri yelled at him when he pulled Levent back again. "You're done here!" He said shoving Levent backwards.__

_"_I haven't even begun to get started!" Levent growled out raising his finger towards my direction. __

__"She's hiding something Belikov... you mark my words... she's hiding something!" Turning his back Levent stormed towards the direction of the front of the plane putting as much distance between himself and me as he possible could.__

__When the plane touched down at the Pennsylvania international airport that same fluttery feeling that I had when I first boarded the plane returned in full force. More of the watery sludge came up at the back of my mouth scorching my pallet, which agonizingly I swallowed. This was it I was returning to my past. A past that I had left long ago and one that was best forgotten, here it was coming back to haunt me. __

__I couldn't help being a bundle of nerves feeling like I was walking on pins and needles. I resorted to my only outlet digging my nails sharply and deeply into my arms raking them just as hard as I could under the sleeves of Dimitri's sweater. Every aspect of my life was being met with pain of some form. Christian's rejection well maybe it wasn't rejection but it had felt like it. Then the whole thing with Levent, what I was suppose to do forgive the lying bastard; after five years of him being paid, bought and sold by my father. Not to mention he was married! Closing my eyes I shuttered.__

__ The intense digging of my nails gouging into my flesh, and the subtle warmth spreading over my skin, then lightly running down my arms felt good. Dulling every corner and crevice of my being, while I walked numbly towards our ride. Christian was hanging back talking with Camille when I eyed the car, going over all of my options. Everything inside of me just screamed... run …..just fucking run dammit... get the hell out of here! What are you waiting for?__

_"_You want me to line up a getaway car for you?" Dimitri mummer inches away from my ear. Busted my mind screamed out stopping me cold in my tracks, while an icy chill snaked it's was down the center of my spine. Taking a deep breath and sliding my hands out from under my sweater I glared at the car in front of me knowing that Dimitri had known all along. Feeling pissed I walked even faster towards the car, and Dimitri lingered back several feet giving me space. Damn him for reading me so easily! Stepping out of the vehicle Alberta smiled warmly when she seen my approach. __

__She had changed over the years, the last time I had seen her, she had sandy gray hair. Now her short locks had filled in with more peppering of gray then being sandy. Deep pronounced lines hung heavy around her light hazel brown eyes looking more like crows feet. She seemed smaller thinner as the years went by. I would even say more frailer, but if you had ever seen the way this woman fought, you knew looks were deceiving. What was the old saying...never judge a book by it's cover?  
><em>_

_"_Welcome back Rose." She said standing with her hands behind her back all business like and formal.__

_"_Thank you I guess. I wasn't really to sure what to say at this point. I had been expecting open hostilities from coming back, but not this. Where was all the judgmental condemnations? Surely all of court knew at some point of what I had became, what I had done. Instead she was addressing me all formal and when I looked deeply into her eyes; I could sworn that she was happy to see me and it became just as obvious when she reached out to hug me.__

_"_It's good seeing you as well." I replied dryly, carefully stepping away from her. Out of the corner of my eye Dimitri was shaking his head no sending her a silent message. Even he knew I wasn't ready for that. __

__"And is everyone still at court?" I asked nibbling on my lower lip. __

_"_Rose my goodness you're acting as though you've been away for months...well I guess you're one night back at court really didn't allow you the chance to find out who all was still there...but ummm not much has really changed." She tried reassuring me, but hell we all knew better then that. What about Adrian was he even there? It had been ages since I had last saw him __

_"_He still there Rose." Dimitri said more quietly when he pulled open the car door. " He's just been rather busy lately.__

_"_Right, sure he has! He makes a bet with me and then ditches." I replied bitterly, then just as quickly burying my inner feelings. I hid the fact that I was super pissed with Adrian for not visiting me in my dreams anymore. I was even more pissed at him for not cluing me in on his aunt's death. He loved her, he adored Queen Tatiana with all of his heart. Now that he was the one who needed comforting and support, I was denied the right of doing so.__

_"_I can't do this...I can't do this...I can't do this." I said rapidly and spun back on my heels heading back towards the plane. The whole fight or flight panic was consuming me as my heartbeat started surging forward pounding hard and fast in my chest. Lub.. dub... lub... dub. Eddie, Adrian Queen Tatiana! I fucking couldn't do this, they had moved on in there lives and Eddie? Who the hell was I kidding I destroyed his life, right along with Mia's! What would Tasha think with my involvement with Christian after being restored? Even from this distance I could almost hear Jesse, Ralf and everyone else back at court laughing at me. I was a freak of nature, isn't that what they had all thought of Dimitri in the beginning?__

__I was panicking so badly that I hadn't noticed a familiar set of strong tender hands wrapping around me, stopping me from reaching the steps of the plane.__

_"_Please don't make me go back! I can't face them." I choked out wanting to get as far away from here as I could.__

_"_You can face down a room full as Strigoi's to save your friends life." Dimitri voice said caressing from behind me, while he pulled my back even closer into his chest. "Travel half way around the world to make good on a promise to kill me." He paused taking in a deep breath only to exhale slowly, while I stood there shaking feeling more tears bubbling again at the surface. __

__"Come willingly to me in a trap, even though you knew." He said moving the hairs on the back of my head. "I had taken Lissa. Then you found a way of restoring a Strigoi back to their former state." When Dimitri stopped this time he slowly turned me around facing him."Ultimately saving my soul...if any one can do this Roza it's you." He added more quietly __

__"You're the strongest person I know...it's why I love you." Dimitri's deep rich brown eyes were speaking in volumes as a warmth started settling over me. Confusing as the new sensations were it was a welcoming warmth. I hadn't realized how badly I had needed to hear him say those words. It had felt like I had waited a lifetime now, but god I relished every moment of it.__

_"_Hey you alright?" Christian asked while he jogged over towards the two of us, dropping his fingers from my shoulders. Dimitri stepped back. Remorse, loss, regret and about a hundred other different emotions flickered in his brown eyes, but most of all the one I knew all to well was pain. Seeing Christian reaching out and threading his arm around my shoulders pulling me towards him, hurt Dimitri most even though he remained silent. __

_"_I'm fine." I mumbled out moving back into the direction of the car, or at least that's how everyone is going to see me from here on out. Marian, Gregory, and Levent loaded up into a car that was parked in front of Alberta. It went sailing past us, while Alberta patiently waited for us to get in. Dimitri sat up front while Christian and I sat in the back. __

__We drove past the never ending column row of trees. I rested my head on the window seal looking out through the glass. Seeing the plush green rolling hills, thick carpets of green grass, riverbeds, and creeks everywhere. I couldn't help but think there was no place like home. Pennsylvania was beautiful state with it's natural resources of water and abundant wild life.__

_"_We're so happy that you and the others came back when you did." Alberta added to Dimitri whom she kept glancing over at, then looking back towards the dash of the window. __

__"Court has been in a constant state of panic after the queens death. All of the royals are in an up roar over who will claim succession of the throne."__

_"_Any ideas who that will be?" Dimitri asked sounding assertive. __

_"_Someone who has been out of the lime light for awhile now... she's from Turkey. Maybe you know her Rose; Marie Conta?" __

_"_She was Rose's charge, before everything happened." Dimitri explained when I remained quiet. __

_ _Not paying any attention to either one of them I snuggled into Christian more and taking in the scenery. Man I had missed Pennsylvania! All the Chinese food, the tasty chocolate danishes, along with donuts. What I wouldn't give to have a freshly oven baked donut, that the Witching Hour made daily. __

_ "_I thought the Dragomir's was next in line?" Christian asked. The rumbling sound of his chest vibrated against my back bringing me back into their conversation. __

_"_Lissa Dragomir was once a prime candidate until her indiscretions turned into a huge public scandal.__

_"_I remember." Dimitri grimaced, know doubt he was remembering all to well the roll he had played in it. __

_ _Clearing her throat Alberta veered left changing lanes, then turned off the highway. __

__"When Queen Tatiana fell sick from Strigoi blood poisoning five years ago, she made a decision on who her successor would be in the event of her untimely demise." Alberta supplied. __

_"_Maria Conta." Dimitri finished. Nodding her head in approval Alberta's hand gripped the steering wheel even tighter.__

_"_Yep you guessed it, the other royals are pissed about the former queen's decision." She shuddered out and drew in another breath. __

__"Four of the royal families are threatening a revolt and making a grab for the throne themselves. While others are talking about civil war breaking out... if that should happen." Alberta said quietly. No one need to guess what would happen to court and those who lived in it if a civil war did break out, we would be easy pickings for the Strigoi empire. __

__When the high majestic building of court came into view. I sat up further in my seat, my eyes roaming over the Moroccan clay terra cotta structures. The moonlight reflected off of the colored stain glass windows giving it more of an eerie feel to it, rather then the tranquil sanctuary that it had once held. Goodie if I wasn't having to deal with a bunch of whacked out Strigoi's calling for my blood, then I had to save the Moroi royals from themselves.__

_"_Rose the queen has asked for you, but she wants you to get settled in first. She also have added that you see Eddie directly." Alberta instructed.  
><em>_

_"_Is he still being detained in the royal detention center?" I asked feeling my insides growing cold while apprehension and dread began settling back into the pit of my stomach. To see Eddie... not to see Eddie my mind screamed out. That overwhelming urge to run soared through me again and I tightened up in Christian's embrace. __

_"_No." Alberta replied back enthusiastically "As soon as Maria Conta took the throne she ordered his immediate release and he has been guarding her every since...that is" She said clearing her throat __

__"Until you have arrived. She's wanting her best guardian's to over look her safety from here on out." __

__Great lucky me having to save the day again, when I sure as hell couldn't even save myself right now even if I wanted too. The metal irons of gate clanked slowly open when Alberta flashed her identifications papers towards the guard standing ready at the gate; bringing me one step closer to my fate. __

__When we pulled through the gates, both Moroi's and Dhampir's were lined up. Some holding banners and signs protesting loudly against Marie Conta's succession. Once we had pulled into the guardian's garage Levent, Gregory and Marian were already there waiting for us. Along with Styles, Serena, Debain and Camille. __

_"_I know it's allot to take in right now, but welcome home." Alberta said told me as she opened the door. " Levent use your team to help me and Dimitri get these protesters pushed back. Rose if you will follow me; I'll take you in to see Eddie.__

__By the time we had left the garage several angry protesters lined around the royal palace. In there hands were rocks and clubs ready to take a swing at any of us while we passed. This was a freaking nightmare, the open hostilities were mounting. Out of my peripheral vision I could of sworn I saw Wade Voda launch a rock towards one of the windows when he was tackled to the ground by Levent.__

_"_Put it down Lazar." Dimitri growled when Marcus swung the club out towards him.__

_"_You're siding with a foreigner from Turkey, instead of one of you're own! Traitor!" Marcus sneered with undisclosed venom. Never before had I ever felt threatened at court, nor had I witnessed this kind of resentment within the royals. When we entered the palace Alberta gave Stan a weak smile and he reached over pressing the button to the elevator for us.__

_"_Has Janine and Abe arrived yet?" Alberta asked with a note of hesitation creeping up into her voice, while Stan gestured a friendly smile towards me. "There suppose to be out front helping with crowd control. It's only getting worse out there." She told him.__

_"_We lost contact with them after their plane took off." Stan said, with a firm nod.__

__""You mean they haven't checked in yet...not even by phone!" She exclaimed rather shocked and dismayed.  
><em>_

__"I'm afraid not." Stan replied more sternly__

__"But they should have been here hours ago." Dimitri added looking at his watch. No doubt he was counting how long it had been when we left the island. __

__"They had left at least twelve hours or more before we did." He mummer out with a loss of words.  
><em>_

__Closing my eyes, my heart started slamming wildly into my chest. I sucked in a deep breath, even though I couldn't quite catch it. Black speckled dots burst in front of my eyes when everything around me started spinning dizzily, when the staggering weight of what Stan said hit me. Both of my parents were missing. Sonya had sneered she was expecting guests. Oh god...oh god...ooh god no... she couldn't have them could she? It couldn't be true.__

_"_Rose...Rose what's going on?" Christian asked shaking me hard, genuine fear reached his pale blue irises.__

_"_Nothing...it's nothing...I just need a minute" I choked out, when the elevator doors slid open. __

__The look on Dimitri's face said it all, he didn't believe me and he was going to call me on it.__

__ "What's going on Rose what are you not telling us?" Narrowly avoiding Dimitri's outstretched hands, I made a mad dash towards the open elevator. I quickly rushed inside ahead of everyone else, blocking Dimitri Alberta and Christian from following me in by pressing the buttons to make the doors close. A few seconds later a very loud siren echoed throughout the elevator, when I pushed the emergency stop and sunk down on the floor, then wrapping my shaking hands around my knees. __

_"_It's not true...it's not true." I whispered shaking my head in denial when a wild cry escaped me. My mother was bad ass Janine Hathaway fearless and ruthless in battle. There was no way in hell she would allow herself to be captured by Serena or Sonya. Mom would fight till the bitter end, until her last dying breath.. What about ball busting, kneecap breaking mobster Abe? He was surrounded by guardians all the time and most of them were considered mercenaries, they couldn't have ambushed him. __

__Lowering my mental barriers into Lissa head I pushed and pushed trying to gain access into her mind. Everything was murky and dark through the bond. She was frightened, terrified and wanted desperately for me to find her. But that was it, that was all I could get through the invisible link. Somehow Sonya was blocking me from being able to see and hear what was going on.__

_ _On the other side of the elevator doors; I heard guardian's trying to manually prying them back, when the doors creaked and groaned in protest before opening. Getting back on my feet and placing the stoic mask back on my face I looked unwavering at Christian and Dimitri. Christian raised his hand combing through the wiry strands of hair on his head, looking at a loss for words. Dimitri on the other hand looked like he wanted answers and wanted those answers now rather then later.__

_"_I panicked okay, having to see Eddie, being back was just to much to deal with at first, that I freaked.__

_"_But you're okay now?" Alberta asked questionably that I nodded my my head in response.__

_"_Yes and ready to see Eddie." I said trying to sound more determined and confident, then what I actual felt  
><em>_

_"_Well that's a relief." Christian exclaimed and stepped inside the elevator along with Alberta.__

_"_You may go." Alberta said dismissively towards the other guards, who were looking at the rest of us unsure. Dimitri was remote and aloof, the expression on his face yeah he wasn't buying any of it. Why he was choosing for now to remain quiet was anyone guess. It was like he was giving me a free pass. __

__When the sounding of the elevator tolled again, the doors opened and I gasped with shock. I knew from the outside the palace was huge, but to be inside was incredible in short of amazing. On either side of the elevators were two grand majestic staircases heading in either direction, wrapping around at the base becoming one. Large overhead windows over looked the courtyards and grounds. The windows were filled with several ____dozens of semi circular pieces of stained glass. Rich flamboyant colors diffused the sunlight from filtering into the royal corridors, in various shades of blue, green, red, orange, and purple. These hues were reflected by dark green marble, red travertino, and a ceiling of mirrors. __

__Suspended high in the air of the cathedral like arched ceilings and beams were the finest custom made chandeliers. Deep rich mahogany marble adorned the tile floorboards all around us. While beige paint graced the walls, along with pictures of the monarchs who ruled over their predecessors before hung in lavished gold and silver frames. Rooms on this side of the palace included a library, royal guardian's quarters, and kitchen. This was what most guardian's strive for and had sought out to achieve, in their quest of becoming guardians. We all wanted our chance to become one of the hand selected queen's royal guards. And now Eddie had taken his place among them.__

_"_Breath taking isn't it?" Alberta asked when I had stopped walking taking in each and every sight.__

_"_I don't know if breath taking is the word I would call it." I replied__

_"_I thought I heard voices." Eddie said stopping in mid stride coming out of the library. Our eyes locked accessing each other in the span of a heartbeat. Lost was the crimson red around his irises and replaced with soft gentle tones of hazel. The pasty ash white of his face and neck carried a natural healthy tan rich color of a Dhampir. God he looked so alive almost even glowing, nothing had looked so miraculous then seeing Eddie standing there.  
><em>_

_"_Well I better go and help Levent and the others."Alberta said breaking the awkward silence. "Dimitri I could use a hand out there." __

_"_I think I'll tag along with you." Christian piped in. "Maybe see a feeder or something." He added seeing that Eddie and I needed a minute to ourselves. Looking once more towards me, Dimitri took in a deep breath and followed both Alberta and Christian out.__

_"_Hathaway." Eddie stumbled out and in the next instant he rushed over towards me, throwing those burly arms of his around me. He lifted me off of my feet, just to start swinging me around in the air. __

__"Oh god." He cried out. "I should have gotten to you sooner that night, I should have fought harder to get to you." Both of our tears were mingling together as we held onto one another.__

_"_I should have fought to stay in control." I reasoned taking the blame "I ruined your life...I changed you...no you didn't do you hear me? Eddie stopped suddenly placing me back down on my feet to lift my chin up towards him. __

__" Now that's why I wanted to see you! I knew... I just knew... you would be doing this." He spat with a harsh undertone. His finger stabbed into my chest the sudden movement caused me to flinched back and lowered my gaze from his. Here it come I thought numbly! __

__"You were a Strigoi and you did what Strigoi's do! We killed and we took lives but none of it was you or me!" He argued, his voice sounding cold distant, refusing to give into my self loathing and pity.__

_"_But it doesn't make it right either." I challenged back. "All those people, the things that I did, from forcefully awakening you, to those kids at the fast food place. I'm guilty of mass murder." I shouted feeling everything inside of me recoiling into a tight mass of knots. I was way past my breaking point and somehow Eddie must of sensed it. His fingers laced around my wrist and he pulled me into the library. Walking over towards one of the desk Eddie picked up a news paper article and tossed it towards me.__

_"_What?" I demanded with a sharpness making the emotions I was feeling more evident. __

_"_What did you tell the media and everyone else about Dimitri after he was restored?" Eddie demanded and walked back towards me and stopping just a couple of feet in front of me. Bending down and retrieving the paper he had thrown, he grasped my hand firmly into his shoving the article into my stiff fingertips.__

_"_That he was Dhampir and none of his actions while being a Strigoi was his fault." I replied hoarsely, seeing where he was going with his line of questioning."__

__After few minutes went by Eddie placed his hands on his hip, the taunt muscles in his lips tightening. __

__"You know I believed you when you said that! Hell I figured if that was true for Dimitri then the same was true for me and your going to stand here and bitch yourself out over something you had no control over?" He told me shaking his head violently. __

__"I can't let you do that!" He added more stubbornly. "I promised Mason that I would take care of you...but this is insane! __

__"You have to learn to forgive yourself otherwise what you told Dimitri was a lie...and there's no hope for either one of us." Walking back over towards the desk he pulled out a sealed enveloped folder, then held it for me to take. __

__"These are you're new orders." He said after I had taken the documents. "I'm sure Alberta has filled you in about what's been happening here?" Numbly I nodded my head to shocked that I was being placed on active duty. __

__"With all of the Strigoi attacks and the assignation of Queen Tatiana, it has caused a major up rise within the royals, they no longer feel guardian's can adequately protect them.__

_"_Which was why they were protesting so strongly when we arrived." I finished and Eddie nodded in agreement.__

_"_The queen is wanting to meet with you." He stated matter of factly. "She ahhhh said that you and her were friends?" He asked cocking his brow up towards me.__

_"_Yes Queen Conta was my charge." I replied taking a more formal tone. "And we grew close."__

_"_That's what she mentioned to me as well and why shes wanting you to assume guarding her again." Eddie's hazel brown eyes darkened slightly, while I digested the news he was conveying. He was serious, she actually putting me back to work. __

_"_But after speaking with Dimitri as many times as I have. I think right now that's unwise, but she disagrees with me. So as of this moment you're the queen's personal guardian." Fuck I didn't see that one coming as my hand closed even tighter on the envelope. Like I didn't have enough to deal with, this was just one more layer of frosting on the __proverbial__ cake. __

__"You're quarters are stationed up on the next level." Eddie said pointing over towards the grand staircase, when we walked back out towards the corridor. __

_"_Eddie." I said more quietly getting his attention. "I am sorry."__

_"_Forget about it." He said waving me off. "Now go and get yourself settled in." Eddie ordered. __

__When I climbed the last of the stairs at the top and made my way to the next level up, again my attention was captivated by the grander and alluring beauty of the palace. The floor that I had been placed on was even more spacious then the one below me containing my own private library, office, training gym as well as my suit. Rich royal red burgundy carpets covered the floors, while teal and turquoise blue green drapes hung partial open, with golden sashes on the colored stained glass windows. __

__When I pulled open the door into my suit it had been arranged in flourishing decors. Deep rich brown and beige sectional's outlined the living room area with dual matching reclining chairs. A large plasma screen was affixed into the wall. The size of it was enormous and took up most of the wall itself and seemed computer activated, because when I crossed into the living room it flickered on with life. Hanging on the wall were pictures of my time spent in Turkey, with photos of my parents the rolling waves of the ocean. The friends that I had made Camille, Styles, Debain and Levent. I guessed she didn't know what had happened with us, hung lovingly on the wall, along with pictures of both Marie and myself. __

__The kitchen was well stocked with foods of all kind, from my favorite tasty donuts to even what looked like a freshly baked chocolate cake. The rich aroma of coffee filled the air, causing my stomach to rumble loudly. It had seemed so long since I had eaten and my mouth watered with eager anticipation. Passing through into the bedroom, I was flabbergasted, it was enormous. Never had I seen such a large room in my entire life. The super size four poster California king size bed didn't even come close to taking up the space of the room. __

__The bed was covered in a crushed blue velvet comforter and duvet. the thick extra wide pillows lined the top of the headboard alternating in black and white. The dresser and vanity rich in a reddish brown muskeet drawn out the color of the room. A brewing fire had been made up in the fire place the reddish orange flames flickered and bounced off the walls.__

__ A nice sitting area opened up onto the terrace outside looking out at the gardens and well lite up waterfall spraying fountain. Marie had went all out spoiling me.__ So engrossed in the scenery of the balcony and the different coloring of lights coming off of the fountain. I never heard anyone coming into the suit.__

_"_So what do you think?" Adrian voiced asked me from behind. Turning around he was leaning against the door framing of the balcony with his hands crossed over his chest. His spiky hair looked messier then usual and his expression was light with a faint hint of amusement, while he took in all my subtle reactions. Dressed in black slacks and a white long sleeve button up dress shirt to where his sleeves were rolled up towards his elbows, Adrian was smoking hot. So much that I averted my eyes away from reminding myself just how pissed at him I really was.__

_"_It's a little much to take in." I replied honestly feeling overwhelmed.__

_"_Well nothing too good for my little Dhampir." He said pushing away from the doorway and coming towards me. Except you I almost said out loud, closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath. Focus Rose... just focus I scolded myself. Looking back over at the fountain I placed my hands on the cool wrought irons of the railing turning my back towards him.__

_"_I can't do this." I said evenly__

_"_What being back here at court, or acting as the queen's guardian...both!" I answered before Adrian could finished. "This isn't me... it may have been once in another life but not anymore...things are different now" I challenged just to hear him snort in disapproval behind me. If I was to turn around right now and look into those perfect emeralds of his, then the choices I was making would waver. I would do anything just to keep from disappointing him. __

_"_I'm sorry about your aunt." I said more quietly wishing to hell he had told me. "I wished you had let me be there for you!" I rushed out.__

_"_It wasn't that I didn't want to...it's just I had wanted you to have sometime to heal." Adrian came up behind me leaning both of his hand on the railing. This was as close to a hug he would give me, that I wanted to scream out in frustration. The intoxicating aroma of his body scent mix with sweat and cologne was heady almost a dizzying affect. All the time I had spent away from him had been physically painful, hurting me down to my core. Now being close to him after all this time was just pure bliss. A heavy head rush stronger then any bite. __

__"Dimitri has been so worried about you having an emotional breakdown, that I didn't want to add to it." Adrian said sounding stressed, could he feel the affect he was having on me?__

_"_That wasn't his call to make." I snapped back feeling my temper starting to flare up. "Or yours for that matter." I retorted, then turning around more fully into his arms. __

__"I missed you and needed you...but you and Christian are getting closer...much closer in fact." Adrian replied straightening up some, his penetrating emerald greens flashed with something I couldn't describe. He was still going to keep me at arms length. __

_"_Were close." I agreed. "We've always been close...but?" Adrian prompted giving me his panty dropping smirk. Shit why did the man always have to look so hot, I mean he looked so good, that I could have devoured him on the spot. __

__"He wants marriage...children a life together...And your not ready for that either." He supplied for me, shaking my head in agreement. I moved my hair away from my eyes, feeling my face heating up.__

_"_Not when I'm thinking of you all the time!" I huffed out. "You made me a dare remember... a bet?" I asked trying my hardest to quirk my eyebrow up and failing miserably. Adrian lightly chuckled moving even further away from me, like I was clearly amusing him even more. The last thing I had expected was for him to laugh at me.__


	42. Broken Inside

_"I haven't forgotten." Adrian snickered while his smile broadened even more. "But you're already cheating the rules...you're not letting Dimitri get close to you either." You're keeping secrets, hiding stuff." His eyes glowed with a light of their own as those piercing emeralds slowly traveled over my face then down towards the rest of my body. He was looking at me with such adoration! _

_Hell, I didn't feel worthy of it and couldn't help feel slightly self-conscious. My face heated up there was so much longing in those depths, he missed me just as much as I, damn sure, missed him. Adrian couldn't hide that little telltale fact even if he had tried. The thrill of basking in his presence was overwhelming and I was drawn to him the way magnets were to metal objects._

_"That comes with trust and I don't trust him! I replied after finding my voice. Damn, he was so distracting that I was having a hard time just staying on topic. Moving forward and lightly grazing his cheek, Adrian leaned forward into the palm of my hand closing his eyes. His sudden hissing breath caught in his throat, yeah… I was having the same effect on him. Here I was, beginning to think what I was feeling was one sided._

_"Do you trust me enough to tell me what you're hiding?" Adrian asked quietly backing away from my touch. Damn him, I wanted to scream, we had been away from each other what felt like a lifetime; and he was backing away now? What the fuck gives, he wanted to know if I trusted him? _

_Yes… of course I do, he had to have known that, but to tell him about my parents...Sonya and the mystery man! Hell no, there was already enough blood on my hands. I wasn't about to drag anyone else down with me. No this was my problem from the moment that I killed Mikhail. Sonya was justified in wanting revenge, because if it had been Dimitri, I would go after entire Strigoi empire to seek mine._

_"I can't!" I said turning my eyes away from him wanting desperately to feel his warmth again. Looking back out towards the fountain, I shook my head wondering how we were going to get past this. Spirit afterglow was a bitch._

_"Can't… implies that it's beyond you're capabilities, we both know this is more of an issue that you won't." He added softly "For whatever reason, you want to handle this one alone." Did he have to act like a mind reader; was this a new enhanced gift from restoring me, he could easily read me now? If so, I had to work even harder on my poker face, because the last thing I needed was for any more people to get hurt because of me and the choices I was making._

_When Adrian leaned back over me and the railing, I rested my head back on his chest. The feel of his hammering heartbeat against my ear triggered my own to keep pace with his. What was he so afraid of, that he wouldn't wrap his hands around my waist just to hold me? God, I was raving like an addict craving his touch regardless of how brief it really was. _

_All I could focus on was his intoxicating scent, the way he felt against me, the sound of his breathing. The feel of his hot fingers touching...probing biting into my flesh. Get it together Rose, I mental kicked myself. Even he knew, this conversation was becoming pointless._

_"Sorry about Levent." Adrian mummer into my hair causing me to flinch. "That was kinda shocking to learn he was married." Just as if he could read my mind, his finger raised stroking the back of my neck offering comfort._

_"Yeah well." I snorted with disgust. "Him being married and the lies." I said shaking my head sadly. "Isn't the only reason why I made the choice to walk away. Maybe one day I could have forgiven him, but no that was just the straw that broke the camel's back." Just bring up Levent broke the hypnotic spell that I had been under, and bringing me coldly and cruelly back to reality._

_"What was the last straw Rose...why are you so interested in my lack of love life?" I demanded getting thoroughly pissed. "Why are you suddenly playing match maker?" The more we were talking about Christian, Levent and Dimitri… the more I was having a harder time containing my raging feelings. Sadly, Christian was more innocent then the others, but Christ why was Adrian so hell bent on seeing me with someone else?_

_"Because, I want to understand, why you're just as determined to push everyone away! Your parents I understand with all of their meddling, but the other guys... it's just one excuse after another. Granite some of your excuses are damn sure valid...I'll admit that." Adrian added airily._

_"But everyone else?" He asked shaking his head. "No, you're looking for a reason to push them away." He rushed out. When I felt his fingertips lightly close over my upper shoulders, then lightly stroking downwards towards my wrists and move back up again. Instantly I shivered and my heart began to race; the reaction to his gentle touch made my breath hitch at the back of my throat._

_"I'm sorry little Dhampir, but I'm just not going to let you do that!" Pushing away from me again, Adrian began pacing restlessly around the room. He had a million things he wanted to say. You could see it by the look on his face, it was so evident, but he didn't know where to start. What was Adrian not telling me, that he would be demanding so many answers?_

_"The reason… why I have such a hard time stomaching Levent?" I cynically bit out, glaring at the water while the jets shot upwards. The cascading red and blue lights of the water tumbled back downwards again, turning the bottom of the basin lights into green. Pushing away from the railing, I followed him back into the bedroom. The further he moved away from me, the more I needed and wanted to get close to him. This was becoming more of a dance; I needed him and as hard as he was trying to fight it himself, Adrian damn sure needed me to._

_"Minus the fact that… he had five years to tell me about his marriage to Marian, let alone my father pimping me out to him like I was some call girl." Just the thought of my father's role in all of this was enough to make me feel sick and queasy all over again to where I thought I would hurl._

_"I'm sure he got well paid for that!" I replied sourly with a bitter laugh. "The day I took Dimitri... he all but gift wrapped him up for me. Levent never once stood in the way. He allowed my Strigoi self to take him!" Groaning, I rolled my eyes and returned back outside to the balcony. Slamming my fist hard into the railing, at what I was suggesting. Everything was becoming all too clear; I was nothing more than a game that Levent could conquer the thrill of the hunt._

_"He knew all along I was going to kill Dimitri, and he just simply stepped aside to let me. And I did Adrian." I choked out as the images flashed under my eyes. I did it, not once, but twice, and I relive it all the fucking time." Stopping, Adrian let out a deep breath and inhaled sharply. _

_I hadn't shared with anyone how bad the nightmares were getting and suddenly to open up was exhausting. Adrian seemed to need to be just as close to me, because he came back outside to the balcony. Only this time, I wouldn't let him get anywhere near me, I felt tainted in blood. Without thinking, I started backing up towards the right side of the balcony past the sitting area, and colliding hard into the wall behind me. Shit, there was no place left to go._

_"Okay, I can understand you blowing off Levent, but to keep blaming yourself." He said warily "And to push Christian away, or Dimitri, is in short nothing more than punishment...and one I deserve!" I cried out._

_"Don't you understand, there is no forgiveness for me!" I screamed out knowing Adrian could never understand. He would only see the good in me, like he always did in others._

_"I killed good people, and I would have killed Lissa too, if Dimitri hadn't stopped me! I thought I had killed you. So many people died at my hands! These hands." I said frantically lifting them up and seeing my fingers covered and stained in blood, regardless of how many times I had tried washing them clean._

_Moving so fast, even for a Moroi, he shoved the lawn chair that was blocking his path towards me hard into the banister of the balcony. Angrily his flashing emeralds darkened and his lips turned tightly down. Adrian slammed the sitting table off towards the other side. He rounded the corner of the balcony to where he was standing right in front of me and I flinched from what I saw in his face. His hands shot out from his sides and gripped my shoulders tightly, shaking me hard enough that my teeth rattled. Breathing hard he looked like a man possessed, his cheeks tinged in red and his hooded eyes narrowed even more._

_"I don't want to hear that line of shit from you." He belligerently yelled as his eyes darkened to a deep emerald green. Spreading through me just as fast, I felt an intrinsic honey warmth. Every part of my being tingled, both inside and out, while I was drowning in his emeralds. The hairs on my neck prickled in response and goosebumps formed over my skin. The warm trail of spirit coursed through me and I fought hard to remember to breathe. In that span, where spirit was fusing through us even more, my body quickly reacted._

_"You're essence was lost when you were awakened." He told me reigning in his breathing and getting more control over his emotions. "None of what you're Strigoi self did was you're fault." The honey feeling of compulsion washed through me, blinking my eyes rapidly I was desperately fighting the effects of it. Somehow, it wasn't as strong as before, as I kept pushing through the murky depths._

_ That's where Adrian was wrong it was my fault and I fought like hell from screaming that little fact out. Breaking through the quick sand affects, I reached out grabbing him by his shoulders and leaned forward mashing my lips heavily against his breaking through the spell he was trying to weave._

_"Rose..." my name was a muffled moan under my lips as I hungrily sought possession of his. Begging pleading for him to respond to me, and open those pearly gates, bring us both to ecstasy. But, hell, who was I kidding, I was already too far gone to stop now. I had waited to see Adrian for so long, to be held by him the way I was now. Any kind of argument or sane reason he may have had for wanting to hold me at arm's length was just as gone as my unstable sanity maybe the two converged._

_A long drawn out animalistic moan vibrated the center of his chest, and Adrian's indulgent hungry lips parted. Heat flashed up my back as his eager hands fell into submission, grabbing my waist and pulling me towards him. Those delicious wonderful lips of his were warm and soft, heavenly began to devour me as I sighed out happily with eager anticipation. Adrian's taste drowned me as his tongue slipped between my lips. I wanted him to take me… god, I missed Adrian, and to feel his fingertips slipping under the material of my sweat pants was heaven as his hands groped my butt cheeks._

_When I thought it couldn't get any better, his knee slipped between my legs rubbing his thigh across my groin as he started grinding himself into me. I whimpered loudly into his mouth in need as I pressed my wanting core into his grinding hips. My impatient fingertips spanned up around his low back gliding upwards towards his should blades as I felt him literally picking me up. _

_I wasted no time wrapping my legs around him, needing to feel every inch of my body pressed against him. Stumbling, he carried me to my bed and collapsed on top of me. Our mouths passionately fought and claimed control over the other. My hands weaved their way into his hair; self-control was long forgotten. We couldn't get close enough to each other, rolling and tumbling on the bed he pulled me on top of him._

_Adrian broke the kiss trailing fire down my throat with tantalizing bites and open mouth kisses, as he tasted my flesh. Moaning in the throes of desire, I fidgeted to deepen the contact, wanting to wield my flesh against his until the real movements of bumping and grinding became bare flesh to bare flesh. My fingernails bit sharply into his shoulder while my other hand pulled on his hair earning a deep throat growl of approval. _

_Groaning in sheer pleasure from the blazing embers that were ragging hardcore out of control, aggressively we clung to each other as the fiery heat scorched its way into the heart of me. My whole body was reeling in ecstasy as the fueling passions burn me when his fingers slid across my back, moving up towards my shoulder. He yanked back the collar of my shirt down bearing my naked neck and shoulder for his pleasures._

_Adrian's tongue flicked out of his gorgeous mouth and followed the direction of his questing fingers. I gasped, trembling in his arms as his hot tongue made contact with my heated tingling skin. My chest heaved raggedly with each labored breath. Incredibly, my body conformed to every inch of Adrian's. Penetrating body heat enveloped us as my breast pressed against his heaving chest. Our bodies melted together. Even then, I couldn't get close enough, my fingers were demanding to feel his strong muscular chest and whatever else I could lay my hands on._

_"Little Dhampir." He huskily moaned out while biting into my shoulder. His hot breath fanned and swirled around the sensitive spot. The next thing I knew, he flipped us over again and leaned back just enough to where his hands stroked and caressed over my chest down to my stomach. _

_"God you're dangerous, spirit afterglow be damned!" Adrian's panty dropping smile warmed me to the core while slowly spreading across his sexy face. He slowly began raising my sweatshirt and pulled it over my arms and head, then dropping the cottony material._

_His sparkling emeralds flashed hotly and full of lust into mine as his burning gaze swept over my exposed skin. My hands wrapped around his neck pulling him back down on top of me, entwining my fingers into his sexy silky hair. Adrian's hot mouth came crashing down onto mine; readily I opened up for him. Our lips were sliding roughly against the other with so much fire and passion that he moaned loudly again as his hands roamed down my body._

_Adrian's right hand stroked from my upper calf to my butt cheek and he possessively rammed his pelvis rocking hard into mine, making his intention to have me all too clear. Throwing my head back and arching my body, I slammed my hips upwards to meet his as my eyes slid closed with unbridled desire. The coiling in my stomach tightened like a spring and I began shaking, a fine layer of sweat began coating our super-heated skin. The sensations were so intense that none of what we were doing felt real._

_If being with Adrian fully cloth was this amazing, then us really being together was going to be earth shattering. Impatiently my hands fell away from his neck, gliding down his back, stopping long enough to grip into the muscles in his back. My nails sank sharply into the material of his shirt as he clutched my butt even tighter in the palm of his hand ramming his pelvis into me again. Adrian's own excitement pushed wantonly into me as he rocked even harder. My eyes rolled back with the feel of him hammering his hard body against me. I cried out loudly losing myself in the overwhelming sensations. _

_"Dimitri." We instantly froze in place as if a needle just shot across a record my body came to a screeching halt. The sound of Dimitri's name rang in my head over and over as my lungs fought just as hard to fill with oxygen. Dimitri's name seemed to echo off the walls in the deathly silent room. Not even a breath was heard between Adrian and I. Embarrassment flashed through me in a heated volcanic moment, I couldn't even look at him._

_Hot fluid tears flooded my eyes at the mere thought of how badly I just hurt him. The one thing that I swore I would never do had just been done, by the mere calling of Dimitri's name. The stabbing pain in my chest was just one more knife inserted into the pincushion of my heart. _

_Pulling back, I didn't have to look up to see him watching me as Adrian slowly sat up moving away from me. Lost and confused, an invisible hand squeezed around my throat choking off the sound as I tried my damnedest thinking of the right thing to say. I had wanted this, shit I even needed this, and Dimitri's name came welling up inside me from out of nowhere._

_"Adrian..." I choked "I... I'm" I whispered not even loud enough to be heard. I was mortified by what I had just done. I just couldn't face him not even for a second._

_"I should have known better." He said harshly as though he was speaking to himself. "I knew it was too much to believe that it was real, you wanting me, loving me." Adrian scolded back shaking his head hard while his hands roughly combed through his hair. His words were tearing into my soul ripping me apart._

_"Dammit little Dhampir, I thought it was real. All of it!" Flinching from all the gut wrenching pain lining into his voice, my eyes flooded and pooled with even more tears. "I was praying that you really did love me! God, what a fucking idiot I was for thinking otherwise!" The last nail was driven into my damning coffin, because of the pain that echoed in his voice._

_"It was real...all of it." I heard myself saying while every part of me disconnected from the reality of what I had done. With tears jetting down my face I rolled to my side getting up from the bed with shaky fingers I picked up my sweat shirt and hastily pulled it back on._

_"I wouldn't lie about something like that! I...I do love you." I stuttered out before he had a chance to speak. Running out of the bedroom so fast and then jerking the front doors of my quarter's wide open. The door banged harshly against the door frame as I bolted out of the suit of the palace. I didn't care where I was running too; I had to get the hell out of here now. I humiliated myself; and worse yet managed to hurt Adrian all over again. _

_"Stupid Rose, fucking stupid." I screamed out. I ran and kept running while wiping angrily at the traitorous tears that were blindingly spilling down my cheeks._

_"Hathaway...Hathaway...Rose." Christian yelled after me, coming from the feeders that I passed. Heedless of him calling me, I kept running and passed Debain and Styles. They were patrolling and pushing back the rowdy protestors, along with a few other guardians assisting them._

_Getting to the gates of court, the gatekeeper came out of his station. "Good to see you guardian Hathaway." He smiled acknowledging me._

_"Open the gate and let me pass." I demanded cryptically._

_"I'm sorry, I can't do that, maybe I should call guardian Stan or Alberta." He nervously said. The Dhampir male was about 5'7 and weighed about hundred and eighty pounds. His brown eyes flickered back towards the booth. God, he wanted to call in reinforcements knowing, he couldn't handle me himself._

_"You don't want to do that!" I said in my most challenging voice that I could muster. "Open the gates!" I demanded once more hating having to repeat myself._

_"Not until I get clearance from the other guardians!" He tartly replied and turned back towards the booth. Fuck, he was going to make me hurt him, looking around and seeing where the other guardians were, I made my move._

_"Sorry." I told him which made the guardian turn semi back to look at me._

_"Sorry for what?" He asked, just as I came up behind him wrapping my arms around his balky shoulders and chest. The guardian grasping my hands within his, he threw his head backwards creaming into my face. While taking his left foot and stamping the heavy boot hard into my foot, then swinging his body from around mine and placing his hand on the back of my neck._

_"Shit that hurts." I screamed out, while he lowered my face with the tightening pressure around the back my neck towards his knee and brought the full ball up, power driving back into my face. Okay, I've had enough with this asshole, I crazily thought while mentally kicking myself. First blood was being drawn and I was having my ass severed by a measly guardian._

_"What the hell gives?" I roared out tasting blood in my mouth from his brutal assault._

_"I was told, under strict orders, to not let you leave!" His shiftily brown eyes flickered back towards me ready to call it quits claiming victory; then again, he must not have really known my bad ass reputation._

_Throwing a palm strike out to the center of his face, his head snapped back. While in the same move, I brought my elbow off towards the side, snapping the bony bridge of my elbow down the center of his face colliding hard into his nose and jaw._

_Blood gushed out splattering me while temporarily blinding him. It's kind of hard to see when your blinded by your own blood and tears like he was. Pulling his stake out of his sheath, I swung the blunt end hard into his head. The guardian's eyes glazing over rolling back into his head, while he dropped to the ground. Running into the booth and hitting the button to the gates, the green light came on and the gates slowly creaked opened. _

_Freedom was just on the other side, there was no turning back for assaulting a fellow guardian. Everyone here at court would see me as the enemy now. Tucking his stake into the hem of my waistline, I set out for destination unknown; I had to find Serena and Sonya. Better, I go to them, then them coming for me, hurting any more people I cared about._

_Entering the mixture of the human world, mixed with Moroi's and Dhampir's. The city of Pennsylvania was more than I had bargained for. Bright lights flickered from big adds for Pepsi commercials were on the high towers of surrounding buildings. Along with billboards of what movies were playing in the cinemas. The streets were filled with busy traffic from cars rushing by. Loud car horns blared from inpatient drivers as I crossed the congested road. I had ran so many miles away from court that every muscle in my body violently protested as the knots tightened in my muscles._

_With it being nighttime, I was thankful for taking the guardian's stake with me at least I was armed. Being out at this time of night, even for a Dhampir, was begging for trouble. In every shadowy corner or crack and cervices, your worst nightmare could be lurking, just waiting to jump at an unsuspecting body that walked past. With my guard fully up, I passed one of the nightclubs that Adrian had brought me to. This was just the right atmosphere where Strigoi's could be found._

_The closer I got to the club, it was hopping, the place was full of Moroi's and Dhampir's everywhere. The strobe lights flickered illuminating red, blue, green and orange over the dance floor. Plumes of grayish white smoke hovered in the air around everyone from the smokers._

_Towards the back, there were red leathery-pillowed booths already filled. From where I was standing there was a large male Dhampir sipping his beer in the dimly lit area of the room. He was talking to someone; however, his large massive frame blocked out the other person. Looking around, there were several Moroi's at the bar counter flirting with Dhampir females. _

_My stomach clinched and knotted up with nausea, there were Strigoi's around the premises. I just wasn't certain where. Walking up to the counter and laying my hand on the smooth polished surface. The bartender slowly strolled over towards me, handing a bottle of beer towards the left. Reaching into my back pocket, searching for any cash and coming up with nothing, I shook my head regretfully back towards him._

_"Rose Hathaway." Jesse's voice rang out from over my shoulder. Gritting my teeth, I turned around smiling broodily back at him. "I thought that was you, when you came in."_

_"Lord Zeklos...Jesse please, we go way back Rose." He said winking back at me. "What are you drinking?" He asked cordially and raised his finger out towards the bartender, signaling him to take my order._

_After my fiasco with Adrian, I needed something strong to dull the pain, anything to make me numb again. A good stiff drink, for starters, seemed like a good place to start. Endorphins could always come later. "Something strong... very strong." I yelled back not caring what the bartender selected._

_"Drowning your sorrows?" He asked moving in a little closer. God, the alcohol was rolling off Jesse in volumes; I instantly thought I was going to be sick. The rancid odor of stale booze mingling with his body order was that of a distilling brewery. "Or, do you just need a shot of liquid courage?"_

_"Both." I said evenly taking the medium size glass that had something murky and brown in it. This was going to taste just as grueling going down as it smelled, which took my breath away. Without giving it another thought, I swirled the liquid around in the glass, tapping my glass to Jesse's in a cheers kind of toast. He seemed to like my careless attitude that I had. Raising the glass to my lips, I gulped it down in one swallow and covered my mouth with the back of my hand. I grimaced from the harsh scalding after taste while it burned a trail down my throat and chest._

_"Then maybe you need another." Jesse said stating a well-known fact. Sliding his fingers up my arm and around towards the center of my back, I cringed inwards. The very idea of anyone touching me had me wanting to go ballistic. Wow, only one drink and he was turning into Mr. octopus hands galore. Accepting the glass, I drank it more slowly while the cramping nausea began to build._

_Two Strigoi's were lingering by the entrance of the door. Another one was at the far end of the bar counter, talking with a small petite blonde human. Her crystal blue eyes sparkled and gleamed from the lavishing attention the dark jet-black hair Strigoi was raining down on her._

_Little did the foolish twit know, he was only luring her outside to claim her life essence. Seeing three of them swarming around the unsuspecting human was my cue to get some answers. This was Novosibirsk all over again, just too bad Lev and Denis and Tamera weren't here to join the fun._

_"I gotta go." I told Jesse singling toward the Strigoi's that had come in. Placing his hand stubbornly around the center of my back, he was making it all too clear he wasn't ready to let me leave, at least not yet. Rolling my eyes, I didn't want to do this with him right now. Maybe later, if I couldn't get an endorphin fix from somewhere, then maybe I would reconsider._

_"You just got here." He whined out shooting me a sly smile once more._

_"Yeah, but duty calls, maybe some other time." I questioned wanting to make sure I didn't ruin a good thing, even if the Moroi repulsed me._

_"I'll hold you to it." He whispered more intimately towards my cheek and ear. The rolling stench coming off his breath brought the stinging vile taste of vomit rushing into my mouth, as I choked it back down._

_"Do that." I gasped out backing away from him quickly. "In the meantime invest into some tic tacks!"_

_"Funny Hathaway." He called out as I headed out towards the side door of the bar. _

_Damn, spending those few precious moments with Jesse had cost me time in getting to the human. She had slipped away from sight to only god knows where. The swooshing sound of the door behind me had me bracing from the inevitable while I kept my hand placed over my stake. Slowly, I walked through the darkened back alley of the bar. The sound of a metallic trash can lid clanged on the ground just a few short feet away followed by a loud nail biting scream. The fucking human, I thought sourly as I took off running towards the direction of where her bellowing screams were coming from._

_By the time I got there, it was just as I figured, three on one and already too late. The human girl didn't stand a chance; her throat had been ripped out silencing her screams forever. The Strigoi's were using her body parts in some voyeuristic fashion tearing her limbs from her body. They must have spotted me a mile away because just as I stepped under the street lamp, their heads snapped to attention. The male Strigoi dropped the bloody arm he was totting._

_Seeing a Strigoi for the first time after being restored brought the horror of the nightmare all back, not that it ever went away. My insides grew cold as the flash of memory hit me. I felt Roberts teeth sink into my tender neck as he held me in place. The Strigoi venom coursed through my body as Robert took my life from me. Just remembering how these evil freaks destroyed lives was making it hard to breathe. I gasped in shallow painful breaths. My hand trembled as I pulled the stake out of my waistline._

_Blinking back tears, I fought to stay here in present time. Something drew me back to the end of life, as I knew it. I shook my head trying to focus on the nasty freaks in front of me. My eyes locked onto their red-rimmed ones, seeing all the little details, their pasty ash white faces, the lines around their mouths. The blood dribbling down their lips made me shudder in revulsion from the memory of being one of them, who had hunted and fed the way they were doing. To them it was only blood, to me it was a life...a human life, that just so happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. _

_Seeing the blood that pooled around the ripped apart human girl, reminded me of the couple heading home from Mc Donald's. The taste of the defenseless wife that I had sucked dry made my mouth hungrily water. Her fear in knowing she couldn't save herself or her husband was an aphrodisiac to us Strigoi's, and made me thirst for her even more. The warmth of her blood trickled down at the back my throat, as I sucked her life essence from her._

_I craved that freedom, god I wanted it all over again! Doing what I pleased, without rules and consequences. Not feeling the self-hatred or caring how others saw me. Taking what I wanted, when I wanted, regardless of who had gotten hurt. I was actually jealous of these monstrous creatures, every part of my being wanted what they had. At least when I had been Strigoi nothing hurt, I couldn't feel a damn thing. I was just as dead on the inside, as the guardians saw me on the outside. Shaking myself back into reality, I shudder in disgust at myself, while the revulsion inside of me grew. I was Dhampir again; these thoughts were purely sickening._

_The Strigoi leader smiled back at my involuntary response and sickeningly ran his tongue over his lips lapping up the spilled droplets. The dead girl was nothing to them as they gloated down at her dead mangled body. She was nothing more than a meal ticket. In horror, I glared down feeling my face tighten and contorting with an icy chill._

_These fucking monsters took away my life; they were the reason I was so screwed up. It wasn't enough to take away my life; hell no, they took away my soul. Everything that I had been through; losing Dimitri in the caves, fighting the devil himself to get him back, spirit's afterglow and losing him all over again to Lissa; and now this thing with Adrian. To say Strigoi's had dismantled every fabric of my life was an understatement; words just weren't enough to adequately put it in perspective what they had done to me._

_My assessment only lasted for a blink of an eye, yet here I was staring down death, back at them. As if they were the ones who took away everything from me and made me what I hated most. The Strigoi's had turned me into a freak, a mentally unstable person who couldn't feel anything. They had ruined my entire life, my existence, the only purpose that had given my life any meaning. Everything in me began fracturing off, splintering into small spine tingling particles. My hand gripped the stake so tightly, I was losing feeling in my hand. A rushed hiss of air whistled out of my parted mouth, while my vision insanely distorted murderously seeing red._

_"What do we have here?" One of them purred. I was having a hard time distinguishing what he had said when my teeth clamped down on the inside wall of my cheek drawing blood. _

_"An all you can eat buffet that delivers?" His smirk turned cold, even crueler while those beady blood tinged eyes glowed sending me even further into a rage. "Or are you just as hungry for the kill as I am?" He leered kicking the dead girl in front of him._

_"Not exactly ...I'm looking for someone." Posturing up for a swift kill, the leader was studding me while his minions were trying to surround me. "Any of you know Sonya Karp...crazy old Karp?" I demanded in a challenging cold voice that almost sounded Strigoi to my own ears. _

_"Or what about Serena?" Swiping my stake into the air, all three of them caught on very quickly, I sure as hell meant business._

_"I know her... both of them actually." He snickered taking on a tackling defense; the Strigoi's came charging after me._

_"Too bad you won't live long enough to see either one of them again." The leader replied cleverly and fired out his swift claws out towards me, ripping and tearing through my shirt and instantly soaking my clothing in my own blood._

_"Says you and what army?" I roared slanting my eyes in his direction. Kicking one in the gut, the female Strigoi stumbled back, while I used an open palm strike, clubbing the other Strigoi to the left of me in the face. Springing back around and plunging my stake into the first target that became readily available. The leader momentarily back off, when the other female Strigoi howled in agony._

_The male Strigoi rushed at me again, his bone shattering hand grasped me from behind the neck and upper arm. Locking his fingers into place, he lifted me up into the air and sent me hurling into a stack of pallets._

_"You're not as tough as you look." He cackled while the remaining blood and spit flew out of his mouth in a hailing mist. Crashing hard into the pallets, my head bounced off the wooden slates, splintering the grains of wood everywhere. Curling my fingers around a long jagged piece, my hand came swiftly up impaling his in the chest when he pounced on top of me, knocking the wind out of my lungs. His body dropped on top of mine and with disgust coursing into my very being, I grasped the wooden jagged shard again and pulled it out of his chest. Just to swing my hand wildly to the side of me, I thrust the makeshift stake even deeper into his chest, paralyzing him._

_"So you're the one with splinters... I guess that makes me better then you."_

_The Strigoi's face softened slightly and a smile appeared over his pasty lips, when his body crumpled and fell on top of me. The wooden stake would hold him for now, before I had a chance to shove his body off me, a hand reached down grabbing my ankle._

_A flash of blazing fire shot up my leg when the bones in my ankle snapped with a sickening crunch. Biting down hard on my lip, stifling the scream, the female Strigoi jerked me towards her with the incapacitated male on top of me. With both arms, I shoved him off me, but not in time for the female Strigoi to snap my ankle in the opposite direction as I screamed bloody murder again, I was waiting for it to all stop, the pain from my tattered spirit, all of it, just to be killed quickly._

_"Well, just because Ethan couldn't suck you dry doesn't me I can't!" She replied with assurance ringing into her cold emotional-less voice. Turning her back on the other Strigoi, her iron grip hand tightened even more on my ankle._

_"Darla, don't play with your food." The leader hissed, crossing his arms over his chest as he began stalking towards me._

_Seeing my fallen stake, just a few inches from the shattered pallets, I reached my hand out towards it. Rolling my body as much as I could, using my outstretched fingertips to try to move the silver object closer towards me. My hand mercifully closed around the sharp tip of the stake and quickly snatched it up. _

_Lunging forward and burying my stake into her leg, I ripped it back out, taking chunks of meat out as I did so. The exposed flesh bubbled up melting and black oozing blood seeped down the fabric of her stoned washed jeans. I earned precious seconds to free my leg from her bone crushing fingers. Rolling to my side and getting to my feet, I screamed out in agony again, when my full weight came down on my broken ankle._

_"I'm disappointed in you." I gnashed out between clinched teeth. "Three Strigoi's and you can't kill one simple Dhampir!" I accused hurling the accusation in the same eerie voice as the leaders. "You're weak and pathetic!" Taking my forearm, I slammed it reeling into the female Strigoi's face. Catching her off guard, then raking my stake across the same spot, just to feel the leader's bone crushing arms grab onto me from behind. _

_I should have seen him maneuvering in for the kill, but not wanting take my eyes off the other Strigoi in front of me; he had gotten the drop, catching me off guard. To damn bad my ankle was broken, because the first lesson Dimitri had taught me was to run when outnumbered. Knowing these were probably my last seconds before the leader ended my life, I buried my stake into the female Strigoi's unprotected chest, clipping her heart. A wild piercing cry emitted from her lips, the tinged red rims of her pupils turned to a smoky quartz's, when a half smile slowly appeared._

_"Times up guardian!" He stated matter-of-factly knowing this cat and mouse game had finally come to an end._

_"Not if… you awaken me!" I replied shakily, closing my eyes in horror, knowing what I had just asked for. I was betraying my kind, everything we stood for, but I couldn't make myself care either. The blackened dead heart of a Strigoi couldn't feel, didn't know weakness the way I had been suffering. They had no since of guilt or remorse, they didn't wake up from horrifying nightmares or feel the need to get high off endorphins just to escape the pain. That's what I wanted, endorphins or cutting into my flesh, just so I could see the blood being spilled. The sticky red substance was entrancing._

_"You would willingly be awakened?" He asked in clear amusement, while his fangs brushed over the sensitive skin of my neck. Tears flooded my eyes as I blinked them back trying to think of any reason to hang onto my Dhampir life. Nothing had meaning anymore, there wasn't any purpose for my existence except to keep hurting and feeling pain._

_"Yes." I heard myself reply in a dead monotone voice. Dropping the stake, it clattered to the ground rolling away from me, while my empty hand curled close. The breath of air that I sucked in hurt painfully in my chest while I squeezed my eyes shut. No longer struggling, I leaned even closer into the sharp point of his fangs while they scrapped lightly into my flesh. Goosebumps began prickling over the skin of my arms and neck as I trembled in the Strigoi's restraining hold._

_"Serena is going to be very unhappy that I bleed you dry, then again, she can always find someone else in Philadelphia to watch the morgue." He chuckled out gleefully. Unexpectedly the sharp dagger like spears of his fangs tore into the pulse point of my neck. The lapping sounds that he made while his wet tongue swirled coldly over the spot was grotesque. The overwhelming urge to throw up was unrelenting as I choked the vomit back down._

_Tiny black spots appeared hazily in front of my eyes as I blinked several times just to hold my eyelids open. The whooshed out breath caught somewhere in the back of my throat as I felt my body sagging against the Strigoi. Powerful endorphins flooded through me, bring me much needed bliss and closer towards my dying fate. Filling in its place, was a sense of freedom and happiness. A joy that I hadn't felt in so long cloaked around me bringing my tortured soul some peace._

_"Roza...Roza" Dimitri called out almost searching "Roza...Eddie...I found her she's over here." Dimitri's voice sounded panicked and very distant in my head. Through the hazy fog, I saw him sprinting towards me as my body was thrown to the ground. My face slammed into the dampened pavement of the alley while shadows of shoes ran past._

_"She's one of yours?" The Strigoi sneered out. "She wanted to be awakened...shut your filthy lying mouth up." Eddie growled loudly, clearly not believing the Strigoi, between him and Dimitri they circled around the leader. However, it was the look on Dimitri's face that scared me most. His brown eyes looked almost pitch black and his lips were pressed in a tight line, locking his jaw. _

_He doggedly went after the Strigoi, delivering a well-placed roundhouse kick to the Strigoi's head. He went careening backwards smacking his back into the dumpster. Dimitri rushed him stabbing his stake with precision into the Strigoi's chest only to rip it out again and shove it right back in. The black oozing blood from the mortally wounded Strigoi coated down Dimitri's forehead; dripping down onto his cheek making the look, he was already wearing, more fierce and lethal._

_The one that I had impaled with the wooden stake was moving and getting back to his feet. Clutching the jagged edges of the stake, the enraged Strigoi pulled it out slowly and howled in an agonizing cry. Eddie clocked him with his right hook in the jaw and brought up his knee, power driving the harden bone into his stomach. With his stake poised, he brought it crashing down in between the Strigoi's shoulder blades, using all his brute strength to send it searing into its blackened heart._

_Dimitri was still hammering his stake into the Strigoi's chest. Cutting and slicing him into pieces when Eddie clasped his hand around his wrist, stopping him in mid stride. Coming to his senses Dimitri scanned the alley for any more signs of Strigoi's, when he straightened back up._

_"Roza." There was so much meaning in his voice; the way he said my name, as he rushed to my side. His trembling fingers smooth back the fallen damp hairs out of my eyes. Within the next passing seconds, he rolled me over onto my back. Not liking what he saw, he scooped me up into his arms, and lifted me up from the ground. My head rolled onto his chest as the potent endorphins consumed me._

_"Stay awake, Roza...stay awake!" Dimitri's said using his mentoring voice, commanding my obedience when my heavy cemented eyes threatened to slam shut._

_"We need to get her back to court; she's in really bad shape." Eddie claimed with a since of urgency in his voice. "Adrian or one of the staff in the infirmary can heal her."_

_"No." I slurred awkwardly trying to fight the blissful effects. "I don't funna go!"_

_"I can't take her back to court like this!" Dimitri adamantly said. "If I did, there would rumors...gossip... people would talk!"_

_"But she needs medical help, just look at her! She's bleeding all over the place." Eddie asserted._

_"So I'll take care of her...in the meantime don't breath a word of this to anyone." Dimitri snapped, his fingers pressed more protectively against my back as though he was ready to shield me from the world._

_"Fine, I'll run some interference with the queen...just don't let her out of your sight." Eddie warned taking the keys out of his pocket and handing them to Dimitri. "Go on get her out of here, before the alchemists arrives." He motioned with a tight nod of his head. _

_"Keep me posted." He told Dimitri while he carried me under the street lamps. The lights flickered and he quickened his pace, he opened up the car door and slid me into the passenger seat._

_"Stay awake." He ordered more firmly shutting the door and then getting into the driver side. Cradling my head in his lap, briefly Dimitri's beautiful brown eyes met mine, shortly after he started up the car. The effects of the drug clogging my system had me sliding my eyes shut. Peaceful oblivion claimed me, sending my soaring mind into an empty darkness._


	43. Worth Dying For

_"Keep your eyes open." I was told as the slapping on my cheek continued, jerking me awake. The lights around me blurred while I kept trying to push through the fog of the drug. Men and woman were bustling around me dressed in white._

_"What's she on?" One of the ladies asked flashing a bright invading small tip light into my eyes._

_"A Strigoi bit her and she's lost a lot of blood." Dimitri quickly informed her, as my head rolled to the side of me, while someone shoved a needle into the top front of my hand. Gasping and closing my eyes from the sickening site, a slow thick red substance began streaming into the clear tubing. A cool metal object began cutting into the bottom of my sweats moving upward._

_The chilly sensation of lack of clothing and being exposed had me shivering. My teeth were chattering so hard my jaw hurt, while my body trembled from the torture, it wasn't long until someone was tugging and pulling on my ankle. Jerking upright on the bed and screaming in agony, the manipulated bones shifted back into place. I desperately fought off the numerous hands that kept holding me down._

_"Let me go." I choked out in a pained whisper. Dizzily my body collapsed back down on the starch white sheets of the bed, when I felt something wet and warm heating up on my foot._

_"Just try and relax... you're in a hospital." Dimitri calming voice was comforting and I resisted the urge to continue my fight, allowing my eyes to close again. The heavenly endorphins helped me to cope with the pain and lulled me back to a blissful sleep._

_When my heavy eyelids opened again, they roamed around a darkened room. All of the people that I had seen before were no longer present. Instead, there was homey, cozy feel to where I was now. Propping myself up on my pillow there was a dark walnut colored dresser a few feet away from the bed. A small plasma screen television dropped down from the ceiling, underneath was a small stand with a DVD player and game console._

_The decorated beige walls were both peaceful and soothing for my fried nerves. Several thick fluffy pillows elevated my foot that was beginning to throb painfully. The white coated plaster wrapped around my entire foot like an over grown sock, branching upwards right below my kneecap. I knew the bitch had broken it! I swallowed tightly seeing her image all over again._

_The ooh so familiar delectable one of a kind cologne that could only be described as Dimitri was everywhere. The heated warmth that surrounded me had my heart fluttering in my chest while I breathed in deeply savoring the intoxicating scent. The hardest part about our break up was still being able to be this close to Dimitri, where I could lose myself in his fragrance. No one had ever came close to smelling this good, there was only one man who was capable to get this kind of reaction from me._

_A warm hand fluidly slid across my stomach made me catch my breath, while the pressing weight of Dimitri's head slid across my chest. Snoring softly, his facial features were gentle and relaxed, making him look even younger. His dark brown hair lay across his eyebrows, while several strands hung crossing over into his eyes. Countless times, I had wanted to hold him in my arms, to be pressed this close to him, the way I was now. The only time I had seen him this peaceful and relaxed was when we had trained together in the gym or back at the cabin. But now, it was because of being this close to me, that his guard was down._

_Curling my hand into a tight fist, my fingers itched to move his hair away from his eyes. They burned with the curious need to touch him, while he was sleeping. I couldn't help wondering if his skin was just as warm as I had remembered. Of course, it was, I thought dreamily while rolling my eyes to marvel over his sleeping body. Why wouldn't it be? Dimitri was Dhampir again… whole, everything about him would be the same, but just thinking about it didn't stop the need to do what I was doing._

_Reaching carefully up to not wake him my fingers closed around the fine silky strands smoothing them back behind his ear. Tentatively, I lowered my hand from around his hair, allowing my fingertips to give into temptation and trace the refine contours of his high cheekbones and jaw, then circling back around to graze above his forehead. The darkened wisp of his eyelashes remained closed while I continued my explorations. Looking at his bronzed back, the sleek toned muscles rippled as he lightly stirred in his sleep._

_Even in sleep, Dimitri was the pure sight of perfection, where I wanted nothing more than to feel those taunt muscles come alive. The muscles in his triceps flexed as they tenderly moved across my stomach again. Looking at his sleek shoulder all the way down to the bend of his arm, white medical bandaging tape covered the spot. When my eyes flickered towards his other arm, I couldn't help but notice more tape was there as well._

_The minutes slowly ticked by and time seemed to stand still. Dimitri had wrapped me up in a cocoon of sheer ecstasy; it was the most perfect way of waking up. I was safe, warm, even felt almost cherished and there hadn't been a single nightmare while I had been cradled in his arms._

_My heart jumped erratically in my chest as I brought my trembling hand over towards his supple lips, I lightly traced the cupids bow on the top, catching my unsteady breath. With a more steady hand, I allowed myself to glide my thumb tenderly across his soft pale pink bottom lip. My heart fluttered with the flash of memory, the last time that luscious mouth was on mine. It had seemed seconds ago when Dimitri had last kissed me, instead of feeling like forever._

_Even now, I could almost feel the unbridled passion behind those powerful lips of his, like a permanently imprinted memory. The rough callous contours of Dimitri's well-experienced skilled hands had bit deeply into my back, as his fingers ravished wantonly across my skin. Only to dig his nails in so sharply sinking into my heated flesh, I could have sworn he had drawn blood. The intense connection of the bond had raged and burned hotly between us. The close intimacy that we had shared was so rare, and priceless, never in my entire life had I craved another; let alone feeling as complete and whole as I had when I had been thoroughly loved by him._

_To lose my virginity to the man I had loved with my whole heart was life changing. What I wouldn't give to rewind the clocks back in time, to be in our own little private paradise in the cabin and relive it all over again. Blazing warmth tingled on my skin with a sensation of being watched my eyes tracked back up to his. Not realizing Dimitri's eyes had fluttered open, our eyes locked onto each other, as I continued to stroke his lips. A small flushing heat stained across my face warming my cheeks from being caught. A rare half smile started forming over his ruggedly handsome face._

_Dimitri's dark molten brown eyes swept over my face, tripling the beating in my heart. When I returned the smile, words just weren't necessary to convey what we were thinking. It was there all along in both of our eyes, opening the window to our broken souls, while we gazed wantonly at each other remembering. With a shaky hand, my fingers caressed and stroked his cheek making him slightly tremble._

_The pure silence would normally be awkward and uncomfortable for us; however, in this moment it was heaven. It was what we seemed to need from the other. Words couldn't adequately describe what was happening nor did I want it to stop. Loving the warmth that was glowing in his eyes, his hand tentatively slid up towards my wrist capturing my hand that was pressed against his cheek._

_Closing his eyes, He leaned into my touch, pressing my hand more firmly into him. My heart skipped a beat when I drew in a shaky deep breath, this couldn't be happening. The gravity of what we were doing, just the collective quietness of the moment had only happened back at the cabin. None of this could be real, but yet it was._

_Watching Dimitri's subtle reactions, basking in his strength, and seeing what I couldn't identify flashing in his eyes. I drew in another unsteady breath closing my own eyes in surrender. God, I had missed this...it was like having him all over again and I missed it._

_The feather light touch of his hand sliding up my bare arm quickened my breath from the scorching heat, as I kept my eyes closed. His fingertips were repeating my earlier exploration themselves; upon my neck gliding against my jaw then pausing to cup my cheek. Whimpering softly from being lost in the memory of the cabin, I leaned even closer into his hand. Savoring the tingling feeling that Dimitri was creating, my god he was feeling it to. He was remembering just as much as I was._

_A large lump formed in the back of my throat making it hard to swallow, as my breathing became shallow and uneven with the dizzying knowledge he wanted me. Opening my eyes I was shocked by what I saw smoldering in his beautiful chocolate depths, that were looking intensely back into mine. As much as I didn't want to ruin the most perfect moment I have had in a very long time, I wanted to say something._

_"Thank you" I whispered "For everything." I added more shakily. Words didn't need to be expressed how safe Dimitri had made me feel. Or saving my ass, even more, giving me the long sought after peace from the hellish nightmares. Vocalizing those words weren't necessary when it came to a man who knew me better then I knew myself._

_"You're welcome Roza." Dimitri said matching my own voice, then leaning his forehead to where it rested against mine. "I would do anything for you." He added more thickly, looking into his rich brown eyes, he meant every word. The loud gurgling and growling of my stomach broke the intense heat of the moment. I almost laughed aloud from the ludicrous timing when Dimitri quirked his eyebrow up in amusement._

_"Sounds like I need to feed the beast?" He said straightening up and rolling towards the opposite side of the bed, totally killing the moment._

_"Any preferences?" He asked crossing the small room and walking towards what look like a mini frig._

_"Mmm… anything as long as it contains sugar and caffeine!" I moaned out feeling my ankle throbbing intensely. Fuck it hurt , but at the same time mother nature was calling too, rolling my eyes and flinching from the pain my hands moved down to my casted foot sliding it off of the pillows._

_"Bathroom?" He asked when I stood unsteadily on my feet. Closing my eyes, I fought the tears blinking them back. I didn't want to be a whinny little bitch every time I had to get up and down, but holy crap my foot hurt like hell._

_Coming to my side Dimitri draped my arm around his shoulder and hobbled me towards the bathroom._

_"Where are we?" I asked knowing we weren't at a hospital. Taking me towards the toilet, I braced myself against the wall and stared down at the sweatshirt covering me. The hospital nurses and staff had cut off my sweat pants leaving me partially clothed. Hiding my shame, I flicked my eyes away from him. Seeing my discomfort, he turned his back towards me, giving me some privacy, not that I needed any because he had seen me naked before._

_"Sleepy pines; it's a cabin a few miles from court."_

_"Ah… and how far away is that from Philadelphia?" I mumbled doing the deed, reaching and flushing the commode Dimitri turned back around, placing my hand back around his shoulder._

_"It's about a forty five minute drive from here. Why?" He asked as he helped me back towards the bed. Sitting down on it, Dimitri reached and picked up my cast, and carefully placed it back on the pillow._

_"Man this is going to suck being bed ridden." I moaned out. Sharp shooting pains, throb in my foot moving upwards into my leg that made me grit my teeth.__Shrugging my shoulders, I still wasn't about to let on what I knew about the morgue. No, I was going to bide my time and the first chance I got I was getting the hell out of here, broken ankle or not._

_"No reason, I was thinking it's not every day one could see the sites." Was that believable... god I hoped so!_

_"Seeing the sites right!" Dimitri drawled out in a mocking little voice. Yep he knew. "Why do you do that...you're not fooling anyone." He asked making the embarrassing sting of red blush flush across my face._

_"I don't know what you're talking about." I stated flatly and getting more comfortable on the bed. He took the thick comforter and covered me up when my stomach protested loudly again._

_"How long have I been here anyway?" I asked as I settled back down, Dimitri went back towards the small frig opening it, then just as quickly closing the small door._

_"Well, you've been out for a few days."__Running his fingers through his messy hair, he looked briefly at me then towards the door. He was hating having to leave just to go and get food, but the rumbling and gurgling coming from my stomach didn't give him much of a choice. No wonder I was so hungry- a few days shit! Coming back towards the bed, and over towards the dresser he picked up his duster slinging the heavy leather around his shoulders._

_"You know you should open up to someone. You have me!" Dimitri said tapping his chest. "At least I understand what you're going through. I've been there remember?" He asked; taking an unsteady breath, nodding my head I averted my eyes away from him. I couldn't talk to anyone...not about this. He hadn't hurt the people he cared about, nor destroyed their lives. I had and at the end of the day, I was the one who had to live with that._

_"Chocolate donuts and… ummm some eggs… maybe some bacon. I'm starving." I retorted changing the subject. "And some clothes! I can't go around wearing just this." I explained tugging on the sweatshirt._

_"Stay off that foot." He ordered opening the cabin door. Nodding my head like a good soldier, I burrowed down even deeper into the blankets, when the door softly shut behind him. Looking over on the nightstand there was a bottle of pills with my name on it, along with a glass of water. Taking the bottle and reading the directions, I took one plopping it in my mouth for pain control. Getting up and hobbling into the make shift kitchen I nearly screamed in pain from being on my foot. _

_When I opened the small frig there was hardly anything in it. A small container of milk sat on the top rack, over towards the left was a box of dried out Chinese and a small box of salad. Shit I had been out for a few days but this was ridiculous, didn't the man actually eat? Going over towards the small cabinets there were a few plates and cups. In the drawers were silverware and cutting utensils. Picking up the knife and running my index finger and thumb over the sharpened blade, with utter fascination. I could almost feel the sharpness of the blade cutting slowly across my skin._

_Seeing my blood pouring out of me, had my breath catching, and sped up my heart rate. One little cut and Dimitri wouldn't even know. When he came back, he was going to be asking hard questions anyway and those questions were going to hurt. I needed a way of coping, to feel numb, so I could handle his wrath when I didn't answer them. I could always hide the marks depending on where I had cut. Seeing a stack of napkins, I quickly grabbed them wrapping the knife up. Taking the wrapped up handle and tucking the knife under my shirt under my bra I limped back into the bedroom._

_Letting the painkillers work and closing my eyes, I willed the painful throbbing in my foot to stop, while my body began relaxing. It wasn't long when Dimitri came back with several bags in his hand. Through the open door, it was pouring outside with big large water droplets bouncing off the gutters and roof. When Dimitri stepped inside, he was soaked from head to toe looking like a drowned rat. Walking over towards the dresser, he deposited the numerous bags he was carrying and went into the bathroom. Coming out with a towel and wiping the fallen waters beads from his face and neck, I hadn't been aware that I had been holding my breath as it rushed out._

_Ohhh, there should be a law making anyone who looked that good, illegal, I thought watching him closely. Dimitri riffled through the various plastic bags when he came back with a white Styrofoam container. The sickening smell pouring from it began curdling my stomach as he brought the tray towards me, but hunger was winning out._

_"Thanks." I meekly said taking the tray and opening the lid. Inside was over easy eggs with the yolk intact, along with hash browns and bacon with extra slices of buttered toast._

_"Coffee." He said placing the cup down on the nightstand beside me. Picking at the eggs, Dimitri went back to the dresser and grabbed two of the bags and sitting them down on the side of the bed. In a large bakery box were at least a dozen or so chocolaty glazed frosted donuts._

_In the other plastic bag, it appeared Dimitri had bought clothes. Great a guy buying clothes, now that was a scary thought. Dipping my fingers down into the bag, I pulled out a nice simple black blouse, okay this will work I thought putting it beside me. However, the next thing I pulled out was a plaid brown and white skirt. Gritting my teeth and taking a deep breath, I bit back the string of curses that was about to fly out of my mouth. My hand closed over a navy blue skirt as well, along with a long white satin nightgown._

_"You're kidding right?" I asked holding up the waist of the skirt flicking it up in the air. "Where are the jeans, stoned washed denim, or guardian issued black slacks, better yet what about sweats!" Taking a bite of bacon and piling a fork full of hash browns into my mouth. I silently chewed, while my stomach began getting even queasier._

_"Rose your ankles is broken this will be a lot easier for you to get in and out of; I was being practical." Dimitri explained while opening up the next bag and pulling out a white blouse, along with several different strawberry bath soaps._

_"Practical isn't bending over and having your ass showing because you're in a skirt!" I humped out glaring at the frilly material. "Tell you what... you take off your pants and let me use them and you wear this." I replied twirling the skirt in the air with my finger. "Something tells me you would look a lot better in it then I do." I laughed out throwing the skirt at him and cleaning the rest of the food off my plate._

_"You have nice legs Roza; you should show them off more." Just as Dimitri hand reached down stroking my leg without the cast, everything I had managed to choke down came rushing up into my mouth, turning quickly to the side of the bed chunks of eggs, hash browns and bacon shot out of my mouth and spewing all over the carpet. The brown watery coffee dribbled from my lips, while my stomach knotted up, lurching the contents onto the floor._

_Moving quickly, Dimitri's hand slid up the back of my neck grabbing my hair and holding the thick locks away from my mouth as more vomit sprang out of my mouth. Heaving and gasping for air until there was nothing left in my stomach to retch up. My body trembled and strained clearing the last of the foul stench from my mouth. I rolled back onto the bed covering my face within my shaking hands._

_A few seconds later, I heard the sound of running tap water in the bathroom. When Dimitri came back, he pulled the blankets off the bed. Hoisting me up into his arms my head weakly rolled into his shoulder, while I buried my face in the crock of his neck in shame._

_"I forgot about the endorphins making you nauseous, I should have gotten you something lighter." He said softly as he sat me down on the toilet seat and reached over the tub shutting the water off._

_"I haven't been able to eat since being restored." I admitted turning my head away "If I'm not queasy, then I'm well..." I said letting my voice drift off._

_"That's normal too. It took weeks before I could hold something solid down." He admitted, smoothing the hair away from my eyes so he could look at me. "You just have to eat smaller meals and keep them light it was what helped me."_

_Nodding my head Dimitri turned and went back out into the bedroom and came back in carrying the white silken nightgown along with a pair of matching panties. Blushing and turning my head away, he lightly chuckled leaving the bathroom._

_The nightgown itself was beautiful, the long silken gown swayed gently down at my feet covering the ugly cast. The soft satin short sleeves stopped a little past my shoulders. Fine delicate ivory lace, and silver pearls were woven around the opening of the v-cut of my chest while the lace covered my skin making it appear more see through. The broad side of the back was open and low reveling more of tan skin.__When it came to taste Dimitri had out done himself on the nightgown simple perfect and yet very beautiful. Pulling the Victory Secret tag off it, I placed it on the rack. _

_Crumpling my face, as I stood unguarded on my foot, I pulled the soiled sweatshirt over my head and tossing it down on the floor. Carefully holding the knife in one hand, and climbing into the tub and hanging my foot out so it rested on the toilet seat, I closed my eyes taking a few deep shallow breaths.__Lissa had cut when the pressure became too much for her and she couldn't cope. A lesson I had learned all too well from her._

_Taking the blade of the knife I had stolen down across my leg and slicing through my skin, the pain eased, along with the guilt, when shiny rivets of pooling crimson blood appeared. With my fingertips, I began spreading the sleek wetness over my skin in utter fascination. Racking the knife over again another cut appeared only this one was even deeper making the tattered skin rip apart. The close call with Dimitri over digging my nails into my arms, had me wanting to hide my new activities down on my thighs._

_Maybe it was spirit madness, or something going wrong from being restored, or having to relieve killing all the people I had, either way, cutting seemed to help. An image of Adrian flashed under my eyelids as I raked the knife over my smooth skin once more. I hadn't meant to hurt him… I never did… why did I call out Dimitri's name, while wanting to be with him? It just happened, I didn't mean for it too, but it just happened. To see all those mixed hurtful emotions on his face ripped me apart. Maybe, spirit's afterglow really was making me go crazy every time that I saw him. Maybe, I was withdrawing from the affects, the longer we stayed away from each other who knew... either way it physically hurt._

_"Rose… what are you doing in there?" Dimitri asked pounding on the door of the bathroom getting impatient that I had been in here too long._

_"Shit." I scoffed back leaning upright in the tub and dropping my leg back under the water with a loud splash, washing off the remaining blood. "My boyfriend." I replied snarkily and got out of the water a few seconds later towel drying off._

_"Then you don't mind if I come in." He stated rather amusingly and turned the doorknob, opening the door letting himself in. Just as I bent down, slipping on the nightgown, feeling the cool fabric swirling around my feet. Damn, that was too close for comfort, I thought as I tried steadying my breathing and squeezing my eyes tightly shut then opening them._

_Crossing my arms over my chest, I tried not flinching under Dimitri penetrating gaze, which slowly lingered over every square inch of my body. Suddenly, his hands shot out caressing, stroking my arms, his fingertips traced the trailing water droplets that clung to my skin. His brown eyes carried a mischievous gleaming hint of amusement, as his lips curled into a full rare smile making my heartbeat accelerate._

_"Trust me Roza if you were doing me you would know it."_

_If Adrian thought I was dangerous, jeez, Dimitri was worse... the man was positively lethal. Flushing from the innuendos, I averted my eyes to the small bathrooms white walls. Trembling from feeling his super-heated hands sliding down my waist an embarrassing crimson red covered my face spreading downwards onto my neck, while breathing was becoming more of a problem._

_"Dimitri what do you think... Suddenly he dropped to one knee and I felt his hand gliding down my thigh, towards my calf crunching up the satiny material in his massive hands. Dead silence echoed in the bathroom and the deafening quietness banged even louder with every pulsing roar of blood rushing into my ears. The eerie stillness of the room had grown so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. I knew what he was looking at, even before I felt his fingers brushing over the fresh cuts._

_"Do you think this will make it all go away... make everything stop hurting?" He growled out getting back to his feet. Those chocolaty brown eyes flashed unwavering back into my own. He was pissed._

_"You think having some kind of death wish is going to make it all go away...if you do then you're wasting the second chance Adrian gave you!" Bodily picking me up, being ever so careful of my foot Dimitri carried me out of the bathroom setting me roughly on the bed. Ohhh shit, here we go... we were going to have the talk! This was where he would be giving me all sorts of hell and demanding answers! What if… I couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear?_

_"I don't know what...Stop it... stop it... just stop it!" He screamed effectively cutting me off. "You… damn sure know… what the hell I'm talking about!" Dimitri rushed out. "Lie to Christian or Adrian, but don't lie to me!" He said angrily jabbing his thumb into his chest. Repetitively, he began shaking his head in denial as a thought crossed his mind._

_"What?" I asked backing up on the bed and lifting my foot back onto the pillow. "What is it you want to know?"_

_"You did it didn't you! You asked that scumbag Strigoi to do it... the one thing I never thought I would ever hear in my life is you being willing for shit like that!" He spit out in a rhetorical statement, placing his hands tightly on his hips while the muscles around his eyebrow twitched in annoyance._

_When I didn't answer right away and refused to look at him, he whistled out loudly having his answer. He knew right then that I had. Guilt washed through me, as much as Dimitri claimed he understood, he didn't, no one did. He had no clue what it was like._

_"You're wrong you know." He spoke so softly I almost didn't hear him, and raised my head seeing the same guilt mirroring in his tortured ridden eyes. Dimitri looked like he was relieving his own private hell and seeing his own demons._

_"I keep seeing their faces... the innocent victims that I killed, the ones you don't know about. The nightmares that comes for me every night reminding me of what I have done." He shuddered hard with loathing guilt resonating in his voice._

_"Or seeing what I did to you." He stopped suddenly walking back over towards me and getting down on one knee to cup my chin within his hands so that I would look up at him. "How I brought you to your lowest...Stop." I choked out. Not wanting to hear any more, he couldn't compare himself to me... he just couldn't._

_"I knew what I was doing when I went looking for you...I knew the risks...the consequences and I made the decisions anyway." I argued adamantly "And I made the choice to hesitate, because it was you! In my mind Dimitri, I saw you...only you." Gulping hard and taking a shaky breath I pulled my face away from his hand. "I saw the man that I loved, not a monster or Strigoi, but you." I added nervously._

_"Put your noble thoughts aside, you didn't do anything to me that I didn't want you to do." For a moment, he seemed at a loss for words. Here he was going to berate me and I flipped his good intentions of trying to make me see the light and the error of my ways back in on itself._

_Dimitri looked at me incredulously, as if I had said the wrong thing. He was beyond pissed; he was crazily enraged as though I had pushed the last vestige of his self-control. The long sought after balance that he fought so long and hard to keep in check, those fine threads had snapped. He grasped me roughly by my shoulders; a storm was brewing within those beautiful brown eyes when my breathing sped up, becoming rapid from the flashing lightening in his eyes._

_"No! You don't get to take the blame for all of my mistakes." Dimitri snarled out pinning me down with his penetrating harden gaze. "It's bad enough you are blaming yourself for everything that has ever gone wrong in the fucking world. You don't get to take away my blame!" He shouted even louder, making me flinch with each and every word that he spoke; while he was clenching and unclenching his fists._

_"I held you prisoner, I fed off you, I killed the innocent, and I rapped young girls." Hearing that I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and inhaled deeply to try and drive away the horrifying images Dimitri was conjuring up. The loud bang on the wall had me jerking up right while my eyes flashed open looking back into his._

_"__**It WAS ME! NOT YOU**__!" Dimitri belted out taking another staggering breath. "But I know now… I was __**Strigoi**__ and it wasn't __**me**__… Dimitri Belikov! It was __**Strigoi**__ Dimitri just like it was __**Strigoi**__ Rose. Not the real Rose Hathaway!__You don't get to play little miss boohoo and act like you are the only one in the world who has made mistakes." My god, what the hell had I unleashed, because Dimitri wasn't slowing down, just the opposite he was just getting warmed up._

_"You don't get to self-destruct with fucked up pain releases by cutting your own fucking body. You don't get to torture yourself and go off half cocked with some fucked up death wish!"_

_"I'm not!" I denied weakly nearly sounding pathetic even to my own ears. "I was outmatched out numbered." I argued. Christ he knew all along what I had been doing even though I tried like hell to hide it._

_"Because… you went after those Strigoi's without a plan. What… the guilt of murdering all those people… clawed in your gut so much that you asked...you couldn't take the pain so you cop-out? I've been there and done that!" Dimitri shouted so loudly that I brought both of my knees up on the bed, not caring if the action hurt my foot and placed my hands over my ears to drown out his accusing voice._

_Reaching over Dimitri clasped my hands roughly, within his prying my fingers away from my ears, forcing me to listen to him. Shit just turn him off already my mind screamed out. "I made the worst fucking mistake of my life - hurting you- sleeping with Lissa!" He sourly said filled with regret._

_"So what... move on and leave me alone." I cried bitterly nearing my breaking point. "I have!"_

_"Sure you have!" He chuckled with a humorless laugh. Those brown eyes of his took on a life of their own, darkening into deeper shades of brown, with the intensity of his emotions. Combing his fingers through his hair Dimitri began pacing around the room. "I heard you! I know you don't want him!"_

_Wait a minute what did he just say, my head screamed out. "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked doing a double take._

_"I was there!" Dimitri grunted in a strained voice, tapping his index finger to the side of his temple. "You moaned out my name! Tell me Roza, when you were with Adrian did you fantasize it was me the whole time?" How dare he play the Adrian card with me… it just slipped out, my head tried to reason._

_"You're delusional." I whispered not wanting to believe that he could be right. "Don't… fucking bring Adrian into this!" I growled out menacingly back into his face, jerking my hands away from him. Dimitri glared at me in astonishment, jealousy, betrayal, and hurt radiated from him._

_"This isn't about him it's about You and Me! I made the biggest fucking mistake in my life… fucking Lissa… and I'm not going to let you do the same with Adrian, when you're calling out my name in the middle of your fucking make out session!"_

_"My mistakes are my own to make!" I fired back sinking my nails deeply into my arms wanting the pain of his words to stop. "You quit being my mentor years ago! So quit trying to act like one now." I suddenly remembered a phrase that he once quoted back when we had been vacationing, when I questioned him about Tasha. I decided to steal a chapter in his playbook, hoping to inflict some damage of my own._

_"Must I remind you, what I do in my personal life or whom I decided to fuck is absolutely none of your business. This isn't the academy and I'm not in school... you can't order me around anymore!" I growled softly wanting to ram my fists into something._

_"Even Adrian knows it isn't true!" Dimitri argued just as hotly refusing to rise to my baiting words. "He even told you that you don't want him - he knows you want me! I'm not being your mentor; I'm being me, Dimitri Belikov!" He said jabbing his finger hard into his chest. "The man who has been in love with you from the moment I saw you!"_

_"You're lying...you're lying!" I said shaking my head somberly looking at the door needing to get as far away from him as I could. "You loved me from the moment you first saw me?" I snorted unladylike repeating his lame ass words._

_"Then why the hell did you sleep with Lissa? You know what… I don't give a shit anymore why you did it...because I don't love you!" I spat out with the foul after taste. It didn't matter if any of it was true; where Dimitri and everyone else were concerned, I had it... I was through!_

_"I fucked Lissa for the same fucked up reason you think you want to fuck Adrian!" He screamed at me as he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. "We both know how messed up you get after being restored and there is NO FUCKING WAY you will ever get me to believe you don't love me!" Dimitri gasped taking a pained breath._

_"I have always loved you… and there is nothing you can ever say to make me believe you don't love me! We are meant to be, Dammit Rose! Open your fucking eyes up! Pull your head out of your ass! It's you and me!" No, no, no my head screamed out while the rest of me flinched at every word that poured out from him._

_"I'm all you got and I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you see the fucking truth!" Dimitri postured up forcing me to look him in the eyes again with a rough shake. How dare he bring both Lissa and Adrian into this, just to profess his undying love for me? Yeah right, who the hell was he kidding undying love! No! No! And hell no! I couldn't do this anymore!_

_Feeling caged in, it was that whole fight or flight syndrome, and wildly I glared back at Dimitri. Unconsciously, curling my hand into a tight fist with him standing so close to me, as he was, my foot bounced off the pillow. Just as fast, I propelled the rest of my body onto the side of the bed bringing up my casted foot between his manhood and swinging my right hook into the side of his jaw. With my doubled up left it caught him on the other side. I had hit and struck out so fast Dimitri never saw it coming with his guard down._

_With both of my hands raised when Dimitri went to fall, I shoved him off to the side grabbing the clothes from the end of the bed and hobbling out towards the door of the cabin._

_"Dhampir or not... you try and follow me and I'll end what I should have ended in Siberia." I frostily threatened, he had pushed me too fucking far this time and I wasn't about to stick around for round two._

_"Roza!" He screamed as I ran. The last thing I heard, was Dimitri moaning in agony and screaming. "I will find you Rose, if it's the last thing I do, I will fucking find you!" My stomach knotted up if anyone was capable of finding me, I knew it was Dimitri. Slamming the door behind me, and stripping out of the nightgown, and pulling on the black blouse, I used the door frame for support to slip on the brown and white plaid skirt. Bare footed I limped towards the main road._

_Too bad I didn't have Eddie's skills in hot-wiring a car as I looked at Dimitri's parked car. Letting out a shuddering sigh from the painful throbbing in my foot my eyes roamed the desolate road. Dimitri would find me way before I would be able to catch a ride. Limping towards the office, the cabin clerked perked up when he saw me opening the door._

_Can I help you Miss?" He asked dropping the pen from his pad._

_"Save it." I snapped then looking over my shoulder back towards the outside window, knowing it was just a matter of minutes and Dimitri would be back on his feet._

_Do you have a car?" I asked limping towards the counter. Slowly a light was coming on in his cool crisp blue eyes when he nodded his light sandy blonde hair. The human kid looked to be in his teens when he turned looking towards the small yellow curtain hallway that adjoined the office. Maybe he was debating calling out for his mom or dad._

_"Listen." I said more gently flashing my man-eating smile and pointing down at my cast for him to follow. "I need a ride and I'm not going to get very far from walking...can you help me out?"_

_Nervously he leaned over the counter seeing my cast and then shrugged his shoulders. "I can't my folks told me to watch the office, when they get back I'll take you wherever you need to go." Rolling my eyes I already regretted what I was about to do. Limping towards the counter as fast my foot allowed, I swung behind the desk._

_"Miss…Miss you can't be here...before he could finish what he was about to say my fist swung out hitting him hard in the mouth getting his attention. Grimacing his eyes widen when I grabbed his hand forcing it behind his back ready to break it._

_I'm sorry, but I don't have time to wait...keys where are the key?" I barked out looking wildly on the desk for anything resembling car keys. With his good hand, he slid fingers into his jeans, digging into his pocket and pulling them out. The silvery key chained dangled into the air while the kid tightened up in my arms as he began to panic._

_Ouch..ouch...ouch I think you broke my tooth." He screamed out spitting blood onto the ground._

_"Relax I don't want to hurt you, but I have to get out of here fast... Someone is after me." I all but snarled out, snatching the keys from his hand, and then pushing the scrawny kid out towards the door. We walked outside and around behind the parking lot when we walked up to a silver and black trim Lotus Evora._

_"You're kidding right?" I asked as my eyes widen to my good fortune._

_"It's...it's my dad's!" He whined out. "His going to kill me...no he's not, you're just going to take me for a ride." I explained cutting him off. "I have no intention of keeping you or the car, now get in!" I said pushing the boy towards the driver's side door and opening the passenger. Just as we both got in, Dimitri rounded the corner of the parking lot his deep brown eyes locking onto mine._

_"Drive." I screamed out when the kid started up the motor, revving up the engine. "Roza open up...open up." Dimitri demanded, pounding on the glass, spooking the kid so much that he slammed the throttle into drive racing off. The back tires spun so fast they bathed Dimitri in sand dirt and gravel, covering his eyes. Dimitri shielded himself from the flying debris. Leaning back into the seat of the car, I exhaled deeply willing the shakes away from the narrow escape._

_"Is that why you wanted my help?" Nodding my head, the kid looked at me from the rear view mirror his face reflecting the same haughty look._

_"Yes." I replied weakly starring out of the side window watching the passing rows of trees._

_"Where can I take you?" He asked noticing that I had relaxed some; maybe he thought I would explain what happened back there. If that was what he thought then he was in for a big disappointment._

_"Philadelphia...anywhere in Philadelphia." I mumbled out._

_Suddenly reeling, I couldn't get enough air into my lungs, my back slammed hard into the seat of the car with a loud thud. My heartbeat accelerated pounding heavily in my chest wildly thumping away with sheer terror. Fear plague through me worming its way into my soul like a night crawling parasite._

_"Roza...Rose..."_

_"I have a surprise for you." Sonya purred out slowly standing in front of Lissa and smoothing her golden locks back. "Hmm, you with us Rose?" She coyly called out that I gritted my teeth. Her face had been within inches of Lissa's when she stepped back raising her hand out, striking Lissa so hard across the face._

_"Of course you are." She taunted; Sonya's long jagged claws ripped open the delicate skin surrounding Lissa's cheek and jaw making her cringe further back into the chair she was tied to. While the gag around her mouth silenced off any cries or whimpers she might have made. Through the bond, Lissa was trying to be brave and was screaming at me to pull back out of her head. Somehow, she knew I was there with her, instead of feeling some small amount of comfort Lissa's anxiety continued to grow._

_"You don't want to see this get out... please Rose, get out!" She frantically cried out repeatedly, big blurry tears welled up in her eyes making the darken room she was in hard for me to see. Her muffled cries were cut short. Disturbingly, Sonya brought her hand back towards her mouth. Her tongue slithered out slowly from her pasty ashen white lips, suckling the blood that coated her fingertips._

_"Mmmm… Moroi blood, remember how good it tastes?" Sonya asked sticking her finger in her mouth. Red ruby eyes gleamed triumphantly back into Lissa as she tried turning her head away and fought against her restraints._

_"And how strong it made you feel... mmmm there's nothing like it!" Looking into the room, the shadowy figure stood just off to the side. The lack of lighting hid his form to where I could barely make out his features. Diffidently male that was for sure, but his hair coloring or anything viable was concealed. Shit he was only here for whatever show Sonya was going to put on._

_"How do you know she's even watching?" Serena cackled out getting into Lissa's line of sight. "Hi yah Rose...lose anything special these days?"_

_"Ohh, she's watching, I can tell!" Sonya growled out catching Lissa's chin tightly in her hand. The force from her tightening fingers was overwhelming; to where I really thought, she was going to break it._

_"I can see it in this one's aura! Her bright colors are dancing all over the place, mixing in with deep darker shades of black and grayish shadows that could only come from her shadow kiss bond mate"_

_"Rose please...get out while you can!" Lissa begged pleadingly but it was to later. Sonya reached over and grabbed the person Serena had been holding. My breath caught while a strangle hoarse cry erupted in the back of my throat. I gasped out trying to force oxygen back into my starved lungs while my blood ran cold._

_The coolness in which the old man handled himself, he wasn't intimidated what's so ever and glared challenging back at Sonya. Furrowing his brow Abe wasn't about to give Serena or Sonya the satisfaction of calling out for help. The sickening pressure in my chest expanded even more now, I knew they had my parents._

_"How do we make it right Rose? Sonya yelled out grabbing the old man by his throat and throwing him into the wall behind him using all of her Strigoi strength. The plaster crumpled from the impact chipping away the paint and plaster._

_"A life for a life? She asked reaching down and grabbing the old man by the throat. Out of love, Lissa closed her eyes refusing to let me see anything more from her. The sickening loud whack echoed through the bond with Lissa muffled yelp filtering in._

_"Open your eyes or I'll kill them both and their blood will be on your hands." Sonya frustratingly demanded. Whatever she was doing to Lissa it was hurting her by the ten folds and she screamed through the gag._

_"I said open your eyes!" Sonya roared out making Lissa jump. Pain sharping biting pain flowed through the bond caused me to scream out. Sonya or Serena were torturing her, "Lissa please just open your eyes." I willed her, wishing to hell the bond was two way instead of being one. Suddenly her eyes were being pried open with brute force. Sonya's face hovered inches over hers._

_"You will keep your eyes open and make sure Rose gets a good bird's eye view of what is happening to her dearly beloved father and mother." Sonya replied in a sweet sickening childlike voice. The fucking cow was using compulsion and Lissa was fighting the affects as best as she could, but Sonya's use of it was stronger than hers or Adrian's._

_"You won't blink or turn away... you will make sure Rose sees everything." Lissa was weakening I could feel it and my heart clutched painfully in my chest when her gaze fell back onto the old man. Strolling like she was the cat's meow Sonya lifted him partial off of the ground; so that his back was semi on Sonya's knee dangling half off and half on._

_"You took my Mikhail from me, now I'm going to take your father from you...how does it feel old man to know you're going to die because of a blood whore?" Sonya asked glaring down at Abe. "My daughter is the best reason in this life worth dying for and if it's my time." Before my father could finish Sonya smiled cruelly back towards me and grabbed his hair by the fistful. She yanked his head off to the side popping the bones in his neck and brought her fangs down on his tender skin._

_The whole time she was feeding, she kept her eyes locked on Lissa, letting me know it wasn't about the blood as it was the revenge. The sickening sounds of her lapping his blood curled my stomach making me more nauseous than ever. Raising her head Sonya smiled widely letting a mouthful of blood to stream through her teeth and dripping fangs. Allowing the small pooling rivets to dribble down onto her chin as she wildly stared back at me._

_Bringing her knee towards herself with the old man's dangling back resting over her, Sonya hands slid over his chest almost pawing, she was beginning to apply force. With my heart stopping, a hoarded scream rang out loudly in my ears. I gulped in fits of air through my parted lips while I watched through Lissa, my dad's last few seconds of life. Unable to tear my eyes away, blood shot out of the old man's mouth and gurgling sounds echoed through the room. Serena's laughter made my skin crawl as I heaved vomit through my tightly clinched lips, when Lissa eyes slid shut and the strangled out agonizing cry was ripped from Abe._


	44. Entering Into The Lions Den

__The petrifying screams grew insanely louder and deafening, becoming more frantic, when I came jarring back into my own head. Those hellish screams had panicked the kid so much he had pulled off the side of the road. He was shaking my shoulders desperately attempting to get my attention on him when a deep emanating sob rocked through me. My body violent quaked from everything I had just witnessed, blinded by rolling hysterical tears flowing down my face.__

__"Miss...Lady...what's wrong...mam!__

__"Your emotion...is the key as well as forgiveness, but as to whom that will be, is your call to figure out." Rhonda had warned me so long ago. Her words echoed in my head like a persistent drum repeatedly, banging away in the four corners of my mind while torrents of agonizing cries erupted in a full chorus.__

__Hey lady you alright?... Miss...Mam!__

__"However, there is a threat to someone who is closest to you, they are in jeopardy. As to who, well that is hidden from me, but it will affect our world as we know it. The last card is most interesting, it represents your future." Rhonda said pointing to the last. "This is emperor he is very wise and wields power and authority. He has a hand in our world and dabbles with our policies and politics. He will be most important to you Rose, because through him you can change the hands of fate that threatens us all. So learn as much as you can from this gentlemen. Through him, you'll stop the untimely death of someone who is closes to you. __

__Rhonda hadn't been talking about Lissa or even Adrian, as I had feared all along. She had been talking about my parents. Why hadn't I listen to her, why had I told them I hated them, of all things? Closing my eyes and reeling in the knowledge that my father was dead because of me… was just too much and now my mother was next on Sonya's hit list.__

__It's all my fault...it's all my fault." I kept shrieking. The kid was at a loss for words, he must have thought I was crazy and had flipped out, because of how inconsolably I was in that very moment.__

_"___My father's dead please...please... get me to Philadelphia...please!" I needed Dimitri. I needed Eddie or Christian, god, I needed Adrian he would know what to do. Fuck, I needed the whole damn cavalry to save my mom and Lissa. Yet, I had alienated myself from everyone. Sinking my head into my hands, I thought of those fleeting moments when I had first met my old man.__

__Shaking his head, the kid looked me over a few more times and pushed his lips together not really knowing what to do before turning the steering wheel and getting back onto the highway. "Just don't scare me like that lady, you just about gave me a heartache!" He gruff out.__

__Abe had tried in so many different ways to be there for me. Sending me back to Saint Vladimir's after finding Dimitri. Bringing me to Turkey and giving me a life that I had never known before, almost treating me like a princess for the first time in my life. He gave me a fresh start, setting up the job interview with Maria, and the masquerade ball. The old man really gave it his all, after so many years, to be a father and when he needed me most, I let him down.__

__It was my fault, all of it was my fault, the same words were being power driven into my head repeatedly on automatic speed dial. It was my fault. Knowing I was going to lose my mother, the same way I had lost my father was the last veil of sanity. I had nothing left; the whole foundation that made me Rose Hathaway Mazur came crumbling down. My destruction was coming into sight when I read the passing sign of welcome to Philadelphia. Everything that I had suffered through was worth dying for; all the pain and agony of losing those that I loved had led me up until this point.__

_"___You all right?" The kid asked when I straightened up in my seat. "Is there any place in particular where you want me to drop you off."__

__My throat had grown so dry from crying, hastily I licked my lips trying to bring back some of the moisture. Swallowing hard and trembling through blood shot eyes I looked down at my cast. I couldn't give Sonya or Serena anymore of advantage than they already had over me.__

_"___A survival and hunting store if you know of one." I choked; he looked at me as if I was insane, but nodded his head and turned down a busy side road. After another right, he pulled up along the side of the curb and my hand gripped the door handle tightly.__

_"___Thank you so much for getting me here." I whispered unsteadily and gulped in a tight breath that hurt in my chest. "I'm just sorry I hit you."__

_"___After seeing what you were running from… I understand." He added sheepishly "Besides you didn't break my tooth just split my lip...I'll live." He said with a small shrug. Opening the door and waving goodbye, he pulled the Lotus Evora away from the curb. Inhaling painfully deep and exhaling slowly, my eyes searched the brick building of Trevor's Hunting and Survival store. The shop was closed, then again at this late evening; everything on the block was closed.__

__A light peppering of rain sprinkled through the air saturating the ground around me. The darkened cloudy sky flashed with searing silver-ish white lightning strikes. The small forming water droplets fell from the sky, drenching the lightweight clothes to my body. Walking to the door and peering inside, everyone had gone home for the day. Shadows cast down on the racks of clothes.__

__Balling my fist up and punching through the window, my hand slid against the back inside part of the door framing feeling for the locks. Unbolting it and pulling my hand out, I opened the door and walked into the shop. I felt bad for doing the damage to the store and I hoped and prayed the shop owner at least had insurance. Thievery was nothing ever to feel good about, walking over to the counter, and finding a pen and paper. I wrote out an I owe you for all the things that I was taking; with a promise once I got back to court if I made it out of this alive I would pay for everything in full.__

__"Don't come Rose... please don't come. Get Dimitri or someone else to come in your place... you have to know this is a well laid trap for you." Lissa soft flowing voice echoed quietly in the back of my head as though she was reading, sensing my every thought.__

__"I know your here, turn back around before it's too late." Her words were coming to me in a warning. Had she grown so much in strength and power from the last time I had seen her, that she could feel my physical presence? Shaking the thought from my mind, I scanned the small confines of the survival shop.__

__Damn, I needed a stake, looking around the shop and seeing some camping tools, my hand closed around a hacksaw. With efficiency and speed, I began sawing the cast off. My foot pulsated and throbbed painfully, it was so bruised and swollen. Dark splotches of purplish black ran from my ankle clear across the bridge of my foot towards my toes. The ugly color wrapped around the underside of my toe pads and heel. Seeing a pair of steel toe combat boots, an ear-piercing cry ripped through me, as I forced my foot inside.__

__"You're not in any shape to take them on, your hurt...it's your ankle isn't? I bet you can hardly walk!" Her condescending voice was grating heavily on my nerves and was going to make me need a one-way ticket to Traskov.__

__"All aboard… whoo-whoo … Rose Hathaway is gone." The voice stubbornly told me while I did my best to tune it out of my head.__

__"You're not real! You're just a figment of my imagination!" I thought shakily as I forced myself to my feet. Groaning in agony and grasping the table just to keep my legs from buckling. I blinked back the watery tears that flooded my eyes. "We both know this bond only works one way."__

__"You're no match for Sonya! She'll use spirit against you. It's bad enough your father is dead and there's nothing going to save me...but you!" Lissa cried out as if I had a million things to live for. "You don't have to join us. Go back and get help!" Seeing a green camouflage backpack and picking up, I grabbed a first aid kit in the event my mother or Lissa needed it, the motion sensor alarms began going off loudly. Shit, this wasn't good, any minute the cops would be here. Spying the hunting knife, I threw it in the bag along with a hatchet.__

__"Just shut up… you're distracting me." In the far corner of the room was a wooden spear, I reached out and snatched it. The tall wooden grain eased some of the pressure and weight off my foot, when I heard her sighing in total disapproval. __

__"Like you're really going to get far on that foot...if Dimitri was here ….just shut up… shut up… shut up." I barked out more frustrated than ever. Mentally, Lissa was rolling her eye and shaking her head. Hobbling quickly towards the door and slipping out in the drenching rain Sirens were coming in all directions. It wouldn't be long for the pulsating flashes of red and blue lights to surround the store.__

__"Are you trying to get me caught?" I yelled back, my throat was dry and raw just from all of the fighting. The couple that I passed they both stopped and turned, flatting themselves against the brick cinder building, watching me. The human male shook his head figuring I was another nutcase.__

__"If it would save your life then... Yes! Get it through that crazy ass head of yours, Sonya is to strong… you'll die right along with your parents." Slamming the spear hard on the pavement the wooden pole vibrated my annoyance as it shook in my tightly clinched hands.__

__"You're not real, and even if you were, then you know it's my duty to find you. I don't have a choice so…." Shifting the duffel bag from my shoulder towards my back and swinging the spear to keep from losing my balance. My eyes locked with the couple that had been watching me. The man leaned over and whispered something into his wife ear.__

__"Go and torment Adrian or haunt someone else and let me do my job!" Looking over at the couple pressed against the brick wall it wasn't hard figuring out what they were thinking. "Shit, they think I'm a fucking wacko. They are actually scared of me!"__

__"Maybe that's because for now you are...you have no plan...no back up. Go home Rose! Just go home!" Lissa pleaded with a note of concern.__

__"Excuse me." My voice rang out as the man placed a protective hand around his wife waist pushing her ahead of him while they moved quickly towards their car. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I rushed out limping as fast as I could towards them. "But I need some help." Every painful step brought me even closer as he held the door open for his wife to get in. "Please I...I just need some help. My friend is in trouble." The wailing sirens were closing in gulping a deep breath of air these people were my only hope.__

__I just need a car or a ride with directions." Sparking the woman interest, she placed her hand on her husband's chest stopping him from closing the door.__

__"Where are you trying to go?" He asked as my eyes flickered from hers to his in the span of a heartbeat.__

__"The morgue...I'm...I'm supposed to be at the morgue." A cold eerie chill rushed down my spine as the pelting rain drops continued soaking me. The flashing red and blue lights titter tottered back and forth, blinking in sync with the other, when one of the patrol cars pulled in front of the store. Fuck, I couldn't get caught, not here, not now, not when I was so close.__

__"Please." I begged with urgency seeing one of the officers getting out of the car and going towards the inside the store, inspecting the break in. "You have to help me."__

__"Sean we're going to be driving right by there on our way home." His wife had an angelic glow about her as my heart thudded wildly in my chest waiting for his answer. The police officer's partner got out of the patrol car, his sharp brown eyes locked with mine when he started walking towards us. Pulling the walkie-talkie from his hip, the police officer was radioing to dispatch, something about witnesses around the corner of the survival store and he was moving in to question us.__

__Ohh shit, I had to get out of here now, or there would be some heavy explaining to do. It wouldn't be long before the cops and Dimitri figured out it was me that broke into the store. I squeezed my eyes shut tight to block out the hysteria of the situation. God, it was only a matter of time before he found me.__

__"How do you know he hasn't already found you Rose... you're not thinking clearly." Lissa was just as scared and nervous as I was, but she was doing her damnedest to hide and mask her fears from me. Watching Sean with desperation and fighting hard to ignore Lissa while not letting on that I was keeping track of the police officer who was moving even faster towards us. Sean dully nodded his head and opened the back seat of the car when he took the spear from me and tossed it in the back seat quickly.__

__"Hey you two... hold up!" The police yelled out moving swiftly behind Sean. Now I really was screwed it was a matter of seconds before the overzealous officer put me in handcuffs. Erratically my heart pounded away in my chest and my hands became sweaty. Curly my hands into tight knotted fists, I watched Sean and the police officer as I slid into the backseat.__

__"You wouldn't." Lissa gushed out as if she was observing what was going on around me. "There innocent...I'll do whatever I have to." I snapped back rubbing my hand on my temple to stem the painful throbbing behind the back of my eyes. "I'm not about to fail you or my mother."__

__"By any chance did you or your family see anyone near the survival store just moments ago?" He asked with full authority. Tightening my hold on the spear and preparing for a fight, every muscle in my body tightened up. Sean's hazel green eyes fluttered towards me, pausing for a couple of seconds before returning to the police officer, when he shrugged his shoulders.__

__"No." Sean said shaking his head. "We just finished having dinner." He said pointing towards the direction of the Italian restaurant across the street "I'm sorry."__

__"So you didn't see anything odd or out of the ordinary."__

__"I'm afraid not officer." Sean denied and walked around towards the driver side door and opening it up. "As I've already mention we were at the restaurant." Sitting down in the driver seat and shutting the door, he adjusted the rear view meeting my level gaze. Fear flashed in his eyes while he inserted the keys in the ignition. There wasn't any doubt on Sean's face; he knew who had broken into the store. Maybe he was afraid of what I would do to him and his wife, either way I was grateful he didn't turn me in. Pressing his foot on the accelerator the police officer waved him away from the curb.__

__"Thank you." I said gratefully and relinquishing my hold on the spear.__

__"Sonya is planning on using spirit against you; you could easily ask Dimitri or one of the guardian's for help." Lissa tenderly persuaded. Maybe she thought her powers of compulsion would work from this distance. Then again, maybe I really had snapped, what was it that Adrian said; most people who are crazy never have to ask if they are. Maybe, I really was and just didn't know it.__

__It didn't matter how I had my foot propped up, the damn thing throbbed with the flood of fluid that rushed down my leg. Fidgeting in my seat to relieve the sharp radiating white lightening pain spreading upwards from my ankle towards my kneecap, a muffled groan of torment escaped me. Leaning my head against the cooling slick polished glass window my teeth clinched so tightly until my jaws ached as I tried pushing Lissa out of my head.__

__"I don't need their help, this is my fight, nobody else's blood, or death will be on my hands." I argued dismissively refusing to budge on the matter.__

__"Rose, if you come here alone it will be all of our blood on your hands. You can't save us alone." Lissa was going to play this up to the hilt, trying to get her way while being deeply rooted in my head. "You need Dimitri… or anyone... Please Rose, turn around... don't come." What the hell did she just say to me? If I came, everyone's blood would be on my hands... who the hell did she think she was? Lissa was hardly lord and master of the keep, she had no right telling me where I could and couldn't go. My mother was in that morgue, I had every right to be there. Angrily my fingers curled into tight clinched fists. I had to be crazy because just as fast as Lissa inflaming words had me reacting with rage, so did the roller coaster mood swings of guilt and remorse of abandoning her and losing my father. So many dead and all of their deaths were on me, I owned that much. If I had listened to Stan and Albert when they told me my future wasn't worth throwing away, then no one would have died.__

__"No... It's all my fault the old man's dead," I said tapping my head into the glass. Both of my hands pulled my hair away from my eyes as I pressed my face more fully against the cool windowpane, so I could watch the tiny water beads slide across the glass. __

__Lightning struck down close by a building hitting an electrical transformer unit, providing power to the city. The small town around us was cast into an eerie haunting blackness. From houses to buildings, everything within the area was suddenly blanketed into foreboding darkness. Just like the encompassing foul stench staining whatever soul I have left, by having to admit my father was dead.____Bright orange and reddish yellow sparks, along with a thick dense blackish gray smoke, engulfed the transformer as it exploded from the next lightning strike. It was like the instrumental hand of god striking me down with his powerful whip.__

__"I'm not involving any more people in my messes. If I hadn't left you we wouldn't be where we are now." Stubbornly she had to understand there was no way in hell I was jeopardizing anyone else's life. Not again... not after everything, not after all the people I had killed, no fucking way, these were my sins, my cross to bear!__

__"It's not your fault, Rose, its mine... I pushed you to your limit when I slept with Dimitri." Mentally flinching and taking a staggering cleansing breath of air from Lissa's well-placed verbal kick to my gut by bring Dimitri's name up. I gasped and coughed hard drawing the attention of Sean and his wife. "I never meant for any of this to happen... Rose you have to believe me... I did this; I caused everything to go wrong. Don't blame yourself blame me." Lissa sounded so much like my sister that I had tried through my childhood to protect, back in the day when she worried about my own safety, demanding better treatment of Dhampir rights for all of us. She was putting my welfare my needs above her own that was why she had closed her eyes not letting me see Abe's grueling death, even though Serena and Sonya had tortured her relentlessly.__

__Closing my eyes, I could just picture Lissa in my mind's eye, moving her fingers and fluttering those soft golden locks away from her eyes, while she frantically searched for the right thing to say. Her eyebrows would come together in frustration and the dimples in her face would deepen into a frown.__

__Snorting indignantly, I didn't even know how to respond to that. Good guardians, don't leave their charge, they uphold their responsibilities. I ran from mine, shucking my duties, leaving her defenseless and vulnerable. All of this could have been avoided, Lissa didn't get to take the moral high ground of blaming herself when I was supposed to protect her.__

__"I should have never gotten involved with my mentor." Just remembering how intense my feelings for Dimitri were, brought new tears to my eyes. I quickly tried shielding my face from Sean, who kept looking my way in the rear view mirror. With the back of my hand, I wiped the traitorous streaks staining my cheeks and exhaled. The painful strain in my chest tightened and I shook my head silently.__

__"I should have honored my commitment to you and lived up to my promise of being your guardian." Rubbing the numbing sensation in my leg and repositioning my throbbing foot, I stifled the cry that sprang readily to my lips when I set my foot down. "So drop it, drudging up the past isn't going to change what happened, nor is it going to stop me from coming after you." I added with solidarity in my voice.__

__"I should have protected my best friend, my sister. I should have been able to control the effects of spirit afterglow. I know you don't want to hear this... but all of this was my fault. I never knew...I always thought of Dimitri as attractive and handsome, but I loved Christian... I would have never ever considered any other relationship with him. I swear to you Rose on my life... I would do anything to make this up to you."__

"__Why are you bringing this up, do you get some kind of perverse pleasure in hurting me?" I laughed out loud making the wife in the front seat turn and look at me. "It's done… there's no going back… it won't change what you did so why hash this out now. Do you enjoy playing a game of war with my heart just to see how many times you can shatter it? Trust me princess there's nothing left, but my duty to you regardless of the past."__

__"Are you alright?" Sean's wife asked with a worried smile, what was I going to tell her, I was having a fucked up conversation in my head. Turning more fully in her seat and leaning over the shoulder of it Sean's wife watched my hand rubbing the fiery burning spot that cascaded down to my foot making me wench out with pain. Locking my guardian's mask firmly into place my hands fell away to my side. Obviously, I wasn't fooling her; the lady's first impression of me was accurate. I was one to many shrinks short from having a lobotomy and needing a strait jacket... "oh there coming to take me away hahahha, there coming to take me away hahaha." The quite voice in the back of my head snickered. "Yeah maybe they fucking should." I grumbled silently.__

__"I'm fine, just anxious to get there." Turning back around, her husband picked up her hand kissing the top bridge of her wrist.__

__"We should be there shortly." Sean announced when he glanced at me in the mirror. The foreboding sense of dread began settling over me when we turned onto a long stretch of dirt road. He wasn't kidding; we were going to be getting there soon, as various churches slowly slid into view with their high tipped crosses. Arch towers reached heaven wards when I felt Lissa stirring around in my head again.__

__"It's my last chance Rose, my number is up...I know it's over for me... you can't save me alone. All it's going to do is end in our deaths. I have to tell you what happened, Rose. I have to make amends. I owe you that. Because when it comes right down to it, you are still my sister. I love you and I hate myself for what I did to you. I am to blame for destroying our bond. This is my way of telling you that I'm deeply sorry."__

__"Your number isn't up." I cried out blinking back stupid tears that began rolling down my face. Pressing my forehead against the cooling glass of the car, I wiped the traitorous tears away that refused my command to stop. I couldn't show weakness I had to be strong.__

__"It's not over until I'm dead and unable to defend you, there is more than your life at stake. My mother's life hangs in the balance and you want me to walk away. Janine is the only parent I have left. I already lost you a long time ago along with Dimitri I can't lose her too. She's all I have left.__

__"You never lost me, ever Rose. And Dimitri… has and will always love you, not me. The things that happened between us Rose were all a lie. Spirit afterglow magnified our awareness of each other; we mistook those feelings as real and acted on them. I cared about Dimitri, but it was all a huge mistake. I am so sorry Rose. Hurting you was the biggest mistake of my life. For my remaining hours I have left, my life will be dedicated to protecting you. I owe you that... It's my penitence."__

_"___I lost you both when I found you in bed with Dimitri." Taking an unsteady deep breath, I could hardly continue. "It doesn't matter Lissa, I can see the cemetery and the morgue from here. I'm at your backdoor just stay strong and stay alive. Moroi's comes first." Seeing the stony rock structure of the building had me grating my teeth and my hand closing with a death grip on my spear. Those bitches thought they could take away everything that matter in my life and those that I had loved, people who had helped shaped and mold me into the person I was. Robert may have created a monster in me by my awaking, but Sonya had fed the beast with my father's brutal murder and now, I hungrily craved her blood. I wanted her destruction and death without prejudices and I demanded it now.__

__"I'm sorry Rose, for everything. I never meant for any of this to happen. Never forget that I love you, and your mom loves you... if we die tonight, we die to save you. I promise you Rose, I will do anything I can to save you and your mom." Lissa finally realized I wasn't turning back. I was here and I was coming in whether she wanted me to or not. She was just trying to make it easy on me by saying goodbye...but Hell I wasn't dead yet.__

_"_The morgue is right over there off to your left." Sean spoke intruding on my thought with Lissa. Sweeping my eyes over the building, I must have stepped right into the twilight zone because the old dingy off white and gray building look like something Steven King would write about. High-etched oval arches with embedded triangles from the Victorian era were scalloped at the top of the doorways main entrance. Thick heavy cylinders of spiked wrought iron bars were deeply bolted into the chipping granules of bricks covering the burgundy curtain windows. Blocking any would be trespassers out and locking any evil presence tightly in. Off to the sides of the cobble stone steps of the entrance were clusters of trees swaying enticingly along with the beating fury of the storm, beckoning my arrival.__

_"_Saint Matthew's cemetery is across the street on the right." Sean wearily pointed in front of the dashboard. How fitting for a morgue, church and cemetery to all be closely nestled together. Located in the vicinity where the buildings themselves could advertise the disposal of death to those that its long tendrils touched.__

_"_Are you sure you want me to drop you off here." Judging from the stark expression on his face, Sean didn't want me to remain in the car with his wife any longer than I had to be. However, his generous nature wasn't comfortable leaving me on the curb in front of the morgue either.__

_"_I'll be fine." I reassured with more conviction in my voice than ever, clutching my hand tightly over the spear and grabbing the duffel bag, I swung the door open and climbed out. "Thank you both for the ride I'm really grateful." When the car drove out of sight any lingering breath that I was holding stilled in my chest.__

_"_You want a war bitch... here I come." I growled viciously and started walking towards the front door of the morgue, no longer feeling my foot. "And I'm bringing the fiery flames of hell with me." Taking a steady breath and closing my eyes I willed, no demanded all the darkness to come forth that had built up in Lissa.__

__The ground could have shaken from the full onslaught of her insidious emotions, stemming from rage, fear, torture and the full injustice of everything Serena and Sonya had put her through. Everything inside of me physically shook from the images that plagued through me, like I was watching some kind of horror movie. Dimitri's down fall in the cave, becoming Strigoi, Lissa restoring him finding them together, and Robert awaking me. All of it flashed and burned hotly in my eyes as her darkness poured in like thick murky cesspools into me. A noxious toxin seeping vastly into my pores feeding the monster of the beast I had become. All sense of pain, fear, in trepidation was gone only the cold blissful need for vengeance rearing its ugly head surfaced.__

__Boldly spinning hard and distributing my weight evenly onto my spear, while thrusting a full forward kick into the massive door in front of me. The hinges snapped and buckled from me kicking the door in. Taking the tip of the spear and slamming it into the ground so the top of the silvery point broke off.__

__My Dhampir eyes roamed, scanning the vacant lobby while my sensitive hearing was scoping out the place. My stomached twisted and churned, knotting up from the nauseating bile of the Strigoi's presence, there were several of them inside. Surely, Sonya and Serena would have smelled my intruding scent, if my kicking down the door hadn't already given me away. Unhurriedly, I reached down picking the sharp point of the spear up, and then tucked it into the waistline of my skirt. Opening the duffel bag, pulling out the hatchet and tossing the bag inside, using the pole of the spear, I walked towards the lion's den of hell. I wasn't disappointed when I got half way down the hallway. The long corridor of the morgue had leaping swaying orange glowing shadows on the walls. Stagnate smell of burning flesh penetrated the corridors with dark grayish plume clouds of smoke. Someone had fired up the incinerators and was burning bodies; oh, this was getting better and better by the minute. Anything else in this freaky house of horrors? God, I should have waited for backup. Standing in front of the oversize furnace ovens was a female Dhampir Strigoi. Cradled in her arms was a dead human, he must have been the former corner. The cold ruthlessness shined brightly in those glittering eyes as she hurled the dead body she was holding into the leaping awaiting flames. Raising her nose and sniffing the putrid air she caught my sent and pointed her finger to suggest that I come towards her. Leaning over she grasped a leg roughly of another body that was covered in a sheet, with her talon size claws, she heaved the body towards her. A cluster of assorted bodies and mangled limbs of hands, fingers, legs, even decapitated heads from Dhampir's, Moroi's, and human's alike littered the floor. The debauchery in which the Strigoi had gone on, a feeding killing spree, had me gagging as the disgusting bile raised in my throat. The flames of the hungry furnace jumped even higher waiting for the next treasure trove the Strigoi was feeding it. My stomach painful cramped and knotted up alerting me of another Strigoi looming close by. __

_"_Let me guess, Sonya just couldn't stomach getting her hands dirty." I called out waiting for their malevolent appearances to come out of the clinging shadows. "So she sent you to do her dirty work for her, like a fucking lap dog."__

_"_I'm no one's lap dog." The male Strigoi slowly hissed out when lightening flashed reflecting his consorted grim face. An earth shattering booming of thunder and lightening lanced outside shaking the building to its foundation. __

_"_Sure you are." I laughed outright with every bit of cold brashness that I felt. "Does she teach you how to sit up and beg?" I purred with exaggerated eloquence almost childlike. "If you roll over does Sonya give you a nice little treat to gnaw." Bantering with the undead may have not been my smartest move, but it sure felt good. Gnashing his teeth together in a challenging display of dominance, the Strigoi stepped into the flickering lights of the thunderstorm that was building inside the morgue. The flashing of bluish white splashed across the faded white walls lighting up the slinking shadows of the room, casting an eerie glow. The floorboards vibrated and shook as though something were under them ready to pull me into the pits of hell. Shoving one of the metal gurneys towards me with hardcore brute Strigoi strength, it went smashing into the wall making a loud metallic clatter as it tilted and swayed sideways.__

_"_I'm going to enjoy peeling the meat off of your chest one small succulent tendon at a time, and then move onto other important areas of your body until all that remains is your bones." The Strigoi leered murderously. His pasty stark lips opened while his tongue flicked out of his mouth moistening them, with anticipation of my blood flowing under his drooling elongated fangs. His red-rimmed eyes glittered with malice in the flashing lights of the storm, as he began stalking me. If this prick thought I was easily intimated, he was dead wrong. He was just one heartbeat away from joining the other dead bodies in the meat locker around us.__

_"_And I'll enjoy taking your head as my trophy mounting it on my wall beside Sonya's as my personal souvenir." The cool airiness in which he moved in was filled with confidence, and skill. The Strigoi's beady eyes followed my every movement, surveying all my physical responses from a muscle twitching to the number of times my chest moved inhaling and exhaling. He was a seasoned pro more ruthless now with Strigoi, speed, endurance, and strength along with the driving lust and hunger of my blood. This was going to get bad, really fucking bad and quickly. The Strigoi had been a guardian, not just any former guardian either; no, he was one of Serena's top prized royal guardian. Okay I can handle him, he was just one of our best no big challenge there. Damn, I couldn't help but wonder who he had trained with and where? Out of my peripheral vision, seven more Strigoi's came slithering out of whatever rat hellhole they had been hiding in, as if they were herding sheep in for the slaughter. One hung almost upside down suspended on the ripped torn plaster ceiling, inching her way forward with just as much agility and grace of a venomous Black Mamba posed to strike. Her gnarled up claws were deeply embedded while her head turned completely around. The bones in the Strigoi's neck made sickening popping sounds, while twisting her muscles and flesh so tightly the skin looked as though it would sheer off. She craned her neck unnaturally back looking at me, and opened her mouth wide. Thick black oily putrid sludge of blood stained both top and bottom rows of teeth, dripping off her fangs and spewed out of her mouth. The slender column of her neck bulge outwards when a demonic roar echoed loudly from her lips. Her stringy blonde hair haloed around her head and shoulder in a tumbling mass while she glared picking her moment to pounce.__

_"_Okay now that's something you don't see every day." I choked out waving my hand over my nose to keep from gagging as the rancid odor permeated the air. If that wasn't bad enough, a body rose from the metal slab. On the wide band of his toe rested a toe tag from the county corner, stamping the Strigoi's time of death, while a blue sheet covered his body. A muscular arm with downy hair, looking translucent ash white, shot out from under the sheet. Long black fingernails clung to the material revealing the monster underneath. He had been human once, but now looked like more zombie half of the skin from his face had rotted off. The darkish purple, bluish flesh sagged and tore away from his forehead, eye socket, and chin. My stomach pitched and rolled from the exposed parts of the Strigoi's skeletal bones showing through various discolored layers of tendons, blackened veins, and flesh. Little tiny squirming maggots slithered out of his hanging muscles and meat of his skin and withered on the blue sheet. The glowing gleam of the Strigoi's eyes pierced me like no other; he looked like an awakening or science experiment gone wrong. Ohh shit, I gulped nervously this scored a hundred percent on my freaky dickey shit a meter. A shudder along with spasmodic tremors spiraled between my shoulder blades and spine; this was so not fucking good. Maybe Lissa was right; I damn sure wasn't anywhere near being close to being ready for this.__

_"_Get the hell out of here!" She screamed loudly in the back of my head.__

_"_It's too late for that...even if I could I wouldn't get very far." Wildly my heart beat painfully in my ribcage like it was going to bust right out of my chest, that's when I realized the banging of my heart was keeping tempo with the pounding of the four corners of the walls. The jack hammering was getting louder, harder, more intense and much too damn close for comfort. The metal surgical trays beside the gurneys vibrated and pulse with the aftershocks of each hard-hitting quake. Shit...shit...shit… this was it! Taking the wooden spear and breaking the thing over my knee, so that there was at least two wooden stakes seem to be the signal they were waiting for. The wall to my left exploded outwards, wooden fragments with plaster and brick hurled towards me with the largest Strigoi I had ever seen. He was built like a Sherman tank and had the strength of at least ten Strigoi's.__

__Where the hell had he come from the vampire dinosaur age... god, he was big and what the hell was wrong with his neck? The jagged bones stuck out, off to the right side of his neck and protruded through the skin, crusty oozing black sledge seeped from the tattered rotted flesh. His heavy head flopped precariously around like a wet noddle during his stampeding bull charge. The lightening from outside flashed and I bolted, but not in enough time to avoid being hit by one of those beefy fisted cannons.__

_"_This is disappointing." He replied sarcastically, while his hand lowered and clamped around my throat, slowly slidding me up the wall in one fluid stroke. "I was told you would be a challenge." He said gravely leaning his head towards mine so that we were nose to nose. "Don't you have any pride in your family name Hathaway?" The rush of adrenaline flowed in my veins almost making me heady from the onslaught, as I glared defiantly with a red haze of my own back at him. Instead of fighting against his tightly squeezing fingers, my legs lifted, almost walking on the cavity of his chest, using his own body strength against him. The heel of my right foot creamed against his flopping head while my left knee anchored me enough on him to where my free hand was able to slam the stake into his chest. Shit from this angle a clean shot to his heart wasn't possible and he howled and shook with volcanic rage.__

_"_How's that for Hathaway pride... We always draw first blood, even when were outnumbered." I boasted while trying to catch my breath and twisting the hilt of the wooden stake in even deeper. __

_"_Bitch." He snarled loudly in annoyance. It wasn't enough to do any major damage to him, but the sudden surprise of the move was enough for his hand to release his grip on me. Just as he left go, I fell to the floor and rolled away from him when the air around me was disturbed. The Strigoi on the ceiling sailed like a cat with her limbs spread eagle. She crashed landed on my back, nearly taking me off my feet as I stumbled forwards. Wrapping her lowest part of her arm just under my throat, while using the arm and hand to slide under my shoulders and pressing my head forward. The Strigoi thought I was powerless while she was full in control. Half nelson headlocks render their victims almost useless, and are very affective in choking a victim with pain and submission. Only those with any kind of hand-to-hand combat training could get out of one, like the way I had been taught. The dizzy bitch locked hers in on me and already thought she had won, it was just a matter of time before she sank her fangs into me.__

_"_Sonya wants her alive." She hissed with a serpent's voice that sent chills down my spine.__

_"_Ohh, I'm going to see her alright, but I'll do it on my own two feet." Tucking my chin into my chest, as much as I could, to keep her from getting a better grip on me, I dropped into a crouch with my body as pressed up against the Strigoi as I could. Using her body weight against her, she lost her grip and balance on me, and went tumbling over my shoulder in a flip.__

_ _Her only recourse from facing a nasty fall was letting go. I had seconds, maybe, if that to kill her... not that, that was even possible. Pulling the hatchet out of my waistline of my skirt and using my free hand to drive in the wooden stake towards her chest, she blocked my attempt with ease like a kid snapping a crayon when I sunk the hatchets blade into the side of her neck.__

__As the blade hit home into her skin, the corded layer of flesh and tendon separated like fine tissue paper, ripping and pulling apart. A thick coating of blood shot upwards in a misting of black hailing rain, soaking us both. Her left hook slammed into my cheek and eye, the force of the blow had me picking myself up off the floor. Damn, I needed that hatchet, before I could go and retrieve it; the Strigoi that had been on the gurney literally sprang at me. His hungry lips foamed a whitish drool as his tongue slowly rubbed over them. His feet didn't even touch the tiles as I ducked and dodge under his powerful arms. He was starving and wanting to be fed as his fangs seemed to growing out of his mouth springing forward. With his big hulking strength and the imprisonment of those confining arms around me and not having a weapon, hell yeah, clearly I underestimated Serena.__

_"_You're beaten Rose." Serena voice said coldly, joining her male company who hadn't moved and was taking everything in.__

_"_It's not over." I roared back and continued fighting against the tyrant that was holding me. The drool seeped from his lips and dripped down against my neck, raising goosebumps on my tender flesh. Even now, I sure as hell didn't want to admit defeat. As I took my foot and slammed the steel-toed boot hard against the front bridge of his foot and slammed my head hard into his face at the same time.__

__Just as the Strigoi's hold on my arms slackened some, I twisted hard towards the side, pivoting on the balls of my heels, bringing my injured foot up from behind my back.__

__The powerful kick landed between his eyebrows and he wasn't fazed in the least. The bow of his lips creased into a horrifying grin, letting me know I had to double my efforts. His reflexes were just equally cunning and fast as mine, he temporarily let go of my arms, but grasped a hold of my foot instead, with his left hand. As I limped to face him, he brought his left elbow down, crunching into my kneecap. The bones in my thigh and kneecap shattered and my body spasmed, racked with the agony of pain, the likes that I had never felt before.__

__A strangled cry parted my lips as my head buzzed and reeled while my entire body collapsed onto the floor in a cold dizzying sweat, when his fingers in his right hand still grasping my ankle jerked and snapped my left foot re-breaking the bones.__

_"_Sebastian disagrees... don't you?" Serena merely purred out as she stepped more into view, then moved sideways. He grunted while he lifted his head, waiting to do her bidding. His hand tightened around my foot and leg as if he couldn't decide if he was going to rip it out of my socket. A hoarse cry rippled throughout my body as I shuddered while trying to regain control over a hopeless situation.__

_"_It was foolish of you to come here, where's your white knight and shining armor? Please tell me you didn't come to us alone... that would be so disappointing?" The man that I had seen so many times through Lissa's eyes slowly appeared in the dimness of the room, thrusting her forward. For a moment I had died and gone straight to hell as Satan himself stood there... with that one of a kind voice that could never be forgotten.__

_ _My mouth hung open from shock as I wheezed in a deep breath struggling to breathe. No... it couldn't be...he was supposed to be dead. My mind refused to believe what my eyes were seeing; it had been years since I had seen him and yet there he stood looking larger than life in front of me.__

_"_I was told you were dead." I stated flatly.__

__"Ohhh come now Rosemarie, surely you must know Strigoi's lie, and my brother was no exception." He said pausing with an exaggerating sigh. "Besides, didn't I once tell you? Just because you crossed over into the shadows of death, don't mean the land of the dead wants to keep you." The sickly appearance of his once frail body was long gone. He looked younger, rejuvenated a spitting image of vitality and health, with only one exception. The evilness of blood filled irises that glittered ominously. "You should have known that it wasn't over, but for you Rosemarie it is."__

__**All right everyone I have dangled a huge carrot in this chapter! Who is the mysterious overlooked mystery man? What do you think is going to happen next or more importantly how do you think Rose will get out of this one? Any guess what will happen to Lissa and Janine, and whats up with those Strigoi's that Rose has encountered! Please show some love to my Beta Ms. D. Powers! Thank you so much you know your a life saver. I also wish to thank my beloved fans and readers for your encouragement, support, comments and continued loyalty. Best wishes my VA addicts until next time.**__

__** Your friend: Elfina**  
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	45. A Thousand Deaths

_"For god sakes get up and fight!" Mom's voice screamed out as her body went flying through the plaster. Her stake clattered to the floor rolling a few inches by me with a metallic sound. Tired worn and beaten she was sprawled out coughing and choking on her own blood. With the back of her hand mom __wiped the spot._

_"These aren't your typical Strigoi's Rose get up and fight." Making a reach for her stake, my body strained and trembled not just from the death grip from the Strigoi but from all the pain of the movement ca__used in my leg. God almighty white lightening liquid fire snaked up into my thigh and hip, while the shattered bones crunched and popped._

_In the hallway, Sonya had her lower arms threaded under Abe's armpits coming to the center of his chest, locking her fingers tightly around her wrist. The old man's legs slid on the ground slowing down her progress while she dragged him. His head rolled precariously like a rag doll, making me suck in a deep trouble breath. Fuck I couldn't breathe; I couldn't stand to see my father slacked in h__er arms. A man who fought the dirtiest game ever and broke kneecaps for a living, was lifelessly still in a Strigoi's arms._

_His face was so ashen white, all the normal coloring of his Moroi skin was washed away. A cloudy film covered his deadpan irises, while dry blood splattered over his lips. Sonya has accomplished what no one could;__ she had killed the old man taking the last of his fighting days from him._

_"Why, who do we have here?... Mother." She said casting her stony cold dead eyes towards my mom. "Father." Sonya gloatingly said giving the old man's limp body a careless shake. "And daughter." She narrowed her death stare on me and kicking the stake in my direction. Sonya was baiting me she wanted me to pick it up, she wanted me to fight but why?_

_ "My ...my...my a family reunion...how lovely." Sonya purred pushing out her glossy lips in a te__asing pout._

_ A monumental lump formed in the back of my throat shutting off my airway __The lightening strike from outside flashed illuminating the room, highlighting Sonya's and Abe's feature. While snippet of my short time with the old man flashed. For a moment I hesitated in picking up the stake. That was until Sonya moved towards the incinerators dragging Abe's body closer and closer to the fires hungry flames that leaped out of the metal oven almost joyfully. _

_"No...no." I stared out in wide eye disbelief . "No...no." The words crescendo in my throat. My heart almost stopped beating in my chest. Everything was slowing down in slow motion, as her evil intention became abundantly clear. _

_"No." I screamed out even louder than before making Sonya smile. She was going to deny my mother and I the right for a proper burial, a funeral our ability to say goodbye._

_"Rosemarie." Mom voice had me jerking my head towards the direction of her voice and the battling sounds of her taking on two Strigoi's. "He's gone." Her voice cracked "Abe's gone... nothing can change that. If we'__re going to survive you have to fight...you can't save him." She said in a beseeching voice._

_"Listen to mommy, Rosemarie, this old stiff is deader than a doornail. It won't be long when his body completely locks up...where as __you!" Sonya cackled ominously "Are just so full of life! I mean look at you, you're radiant... positively glowing child."_

_"Yeah right and you're still the cowardly bitch, that's too chicken shit to face me on your own...afraid you couldn't get the job done yourself, that you had to become Victors whore? Was Mikhail lacking in the penal department so much you had to turn to a Strigoi vibrator to get your itch scratch?" I snarled trying to pick myself off the floor. Sonya's hold on Abe tightened as she glared murderously back at me. Suddenly her face softened as something new was crossing her mind. "Hold her I want her to see this." She pursed out in her best childlike voice. "I always save the best the best for last, it makes suffering that much sweeter." _

_The Strigoi leered back and clamped down on my foot reminding me with a shattered leg just how useless I was. 'Suck it up Hathaway' I told myself as I gritted my teeth and balanced on one foot and kicking high enough with my other to get night of the living dead to release his hold. My good leg breezed in the air while my uninjured foot swiped across his face._

_"You should just kill them quickly." Victor snapped looking no longer amused "I have to see to our arrangements and our little guest." He added looking malevolently down at Lissa raising the hairs on __the back of my neck. "There's no telling when the rest of the guardian's will arrive." What the hell did Strigoi Victor want with Lissa?_

_"I still think little Hathaway and mommy dearest would make a fine ally. Just think with our new abilities in turning S__trigoi's into stronger beings, we could enhance their natural blood thirsty talents." Serena crooned out persuasively. "We need the number count."_

_"Yes but Rose being shadow kissed is unpredictable. We saw that when she was first awakened, with the new process b__eing perfected, she could become even more uncontrollable and a liability." Victor interjected increasing his hold on Lissa._

_"I won't be cheated out of this...not after what that little bitch did to Mikhail." Sonya roared, hefting Abe's body up towards her face and chest. Casting one cold emotionless glance into my direction, she hurled him into the licking flames that spread outwards in welcome. _

_"No." I screamed out unable to get to him, even though I clocked the deranged Strigoi with a heavy right into his unfazed face. He still held onto my broken leg, like he was pulling apart a chicken__'s wishbone. "Get the fuck off of me." I shouted trying to pry my leg loose.  
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_"And her death is yours for the taking." Victor hissed watching faintly amused at my pathetic attempts to get to the old man. The hungry flames engulfed Abe's body, charring his delicate skin to blackened ash. Tears streamed out of my eyes as the flames mirrored within them. _

_His dress jacket of loud purple, and yellow silk scarf wilted and rolled, bubbling and melting all at the same time. While tiny flames flickered and danced over his body, spreading from one region to the other. Abe was g__one... dammit he was really gone I wanted to scream and rally at the hands of his murders. They had taken my father away!_

_"One down one to go." Sonya sauntered towards mom slapping her hands together, like she was wiping away yesterdays garbage. Lunging out Sonya swung out with a punch of her own, while the other two Strigoi's moved closer in on mom. She was deflecting Sonya's combination punches, at the same time dodging under the powerful grip of the male Strigoi whose face was rotting off. Mom was fighting for her life as she head butted the __snake moving one._

_Plunging mom's stake into Sebastian's chest I was horrified. Why didn't his body drop? I was sure I hit his chest, dammit I knew for a fact I hit his heart. He just merely smiled at me and slowly wrapped his blackened talons around the stake. Putrid, black oily blood drizzled out of his gaping chest, as he extended the blunt silver object back towards me. The palm of his hand and fingers sizzled and grayish smoke coated his hand as he held the stake out for m__e to take._

_"Ouch." His deep baritone voice vibrated, while little squirming white maggots dropped out of his __mouth. "Was that suppose to hurt...I didn't feel a thing. Would you like to try again?" He mocked with feigning hurt. Shit this is so not good.  
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_The female Strigoi's hands clamped down on the back of my mom's neck, her claws dug in tightly biting into her skin. Mom let out of a shriek of a cry, gasping from the nails biting claws, that were ripping into the back of her neck. Bravely she tried to fight off her attackers, her fists shot out connecting into the into the face of a looming male and her high place kick landed in Sonya's stomach mak__ing her grunt and knocking her back. "You can't let them take Lissa...save yourself and the princess."  
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_"Now Lilith, you know better than to deny me of my pleasure?" Sonya purred out coyly and walked over towards the gurney pushing the metal bed towards her. "Place her on here." She pointedly instructed tapping her long nails impatiently on the frame__. "We're going to have ourselves a little home grown barbeque." Sonya added laughing demonically._

_"Rose, don't let them do this to me!"__ Mom begged as I wrestled with the Strigoi in front of me._

_"Mom!" I wailed out with a__new serge of adrenaline flowing through my veins. "Mom...please Sonya ….take me instead...please"_

_Ohh I am... through the people you love most...Did you think of Mikhail?" She shuddered in revulsion, like she could feel his loss. "Did he beg for his life, the way your parents have?  
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_"Please... please don't do this...ahhhh that's music to my ears." Sonya crooned with glee.  
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_Turning to face Victor; Lissa brought her kneecap into the crotch of his groin__ and with her tied up hands she formed a fist slamming it down on top of his bent over head with a resounding thud. She didn't blink or even acknowledge the pain.  
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_"No more... no more." Lissa growled out in a voice that wasn't her own. "Back away ... I said back away... all of you." Power intense power surged like static electricity sparked around the room. Bluish light crackled and sparked off of Lissa as her eyes glazed over looking at Sonya, who backed up away from her. Lissa was channeling spirit in high doses, in a __magnitudes that I had never seen before, where even the fibers of her hair was a glowing live wire._

_"Ezekiel, go and get the vinyl cords...Do it and I'll fry your ass where you stand." Lissa voice dropped down to a dangerous whisper.__ Never breaking contact she kept her eyes firmly locked on Sonya's. Even she seemed a little more afraid of the princess._

_ "Come along quietly my dear...we wouldn't want you to get hurt now would we?"" Victor crowed raising back to his towering height. Grabbing Lissa from behind, the tension in the room electrified that much more. Lissa's bowed back, tiny leaping bluish currents spiked through her jolting around Victor's fingertips slamming him into the wall. But she wasn't finished, when her deadly emerald eyes caught and held onto Sonya's. She yelped as the glass canisters beside her started exploding one by one. Everything of glass shattered becoming deadly missiles hurling outwards to the approaching Strigoi's. The unseen force field expanded growing in intensity and size stretched outwards away from Lissa. Fully unleashed and reigning__ hell on the Strigoi's they turned fighting each other._

_"You're the spirit user." Serena snarled turning on Sonya. "Do something she's going to tear this place apart." Thunder and lightning from outside shaking the foundation had nothing on the two spirit users that was battling it out. Lissa's__ angelic face strained and contorted as though she was in utter agony. "Now's your chance Rose, get your mother out of here...I can only hold her off for so long."_

_"Maybe you forgot about Frankenstein here." I gasped snatching the stake away from him. In the same lighting fast move, I impaled the stake again into his chest, shoving the hilt straight into his heart. Sebastian oblivious to any pain snarled rabidly back handed me, hard enough with a devastating blow that rattled__ my teeth._

_The back part of my body sailed between my mother's gurney and another that had a motionless corpse laying on it. Rolling off of it and taking the dead body with me, the gurney beside it came crashing down on top. Pinned between the dead female, the metal framing of the gurney and the cold tile flooring I was trapped. My lungs burned from laboring to breathe__ while my body laid twitching and bleeding._

_Tears shimmered and blurred from the excruciating pain the only thing missing now was my impending death. I was going to die here. On some sick level I knew that before I arrived at the morgue, but was too damn stubborn to change the outcome. At least when I did die it all ended with me. I just wished my parents weren't Sonya's consolation prize for my failures. It was one thing to kill me but totally another to kill them, they were innocent in Sonya's revenge. My eyes grew heavy feeling as though cement had been poured into them. All I wanted to do was close my lids and let the darkness just take me and__ ebb the pain away._

_"Rose...Rose." Lissa screamed turning the full fury of her rage on the Strigoi that was stalking me. His body seemed to pulse_ _a bright bluish white crackling with energy. Sparks cascaded along the walls and ceiling tumbling downwards all around him. __Lissa's usage of spirit was creating a vortex of eminent power, buckling the structure of the morgue. The ceiling, walls and floorboard groaned in protested as plaster crackled, in zagging spider lines, then exploding outwards. The whole place was going to go up in flames._

_Rose...Rose...don't let them take me!" Mom cried as her back slammed down on the hard metal gurney just inches away from me. Stinging tears rained over my face, unable to stop this, unable to protect my mom. Trapped,__ weak and helpless I reached my hand out towards her knowing that her death and blood was on my hands._

_"Mom...mom...Rose please help me." She cried with terror and panic clipping off her words. Ohh god no...no! Mom was fighting with everything that she had and it still wasn't enough, coated in blood and sweat. Grossly outnumbered, exhausted now defenseless, Ezekiel over powered her and threw her down on the gurney subduing h__er._

_"We should leave!" Victor growled stepping into the shadows out of Lissa's reach._

_"Not until I have my revenge...you will not destroy yourself and lose the power you possess over this madness." Victor snarled towards her. Sonya, Lilith and Serena bound my mothers hands and feet together by tearing off her shirt and guardian's jacket. The Strigoi's slid the material to restrain her through the hole ports of the gurney and making slip knots. Every time that she moved the cotton weight bit deeply into he__r skin cutting off her circulation._

_Raising her head towards me linking us in the only way that she could, mom's tears were running down from her red flush face. Her eyes were wide, desperate, filled with terror, while she was being rolled towards the furnace. Sonya reached over towards one of the medical trays grabbing conveyor belts. _

_"This is for Mikhail; Rosemarie, her suffering, anguish everything it's because of Mikhail." Sonya informed, slipping the straps at the foot of the open port holes of the gurney and into a cranking device that was attached to the furnace. She flipped the switch on. "Make your peace with god Janine and while your at it tell Abe his daughter will be joining him soon." She sneered. The belted conveyors made an evil hiss, as it roared to life inching mom at a snail'__s pace that much closer to the awaiting flames._

_"I love you Rosemarie...I love you...avenge me!" Mom croaked out as her feet lurched forward even more. With every agonizing heartbeat, she was moved closer and closer in the direction of the glowing __red and orange mouth of the incinerator._

_"Mom...mom...I'll kill you, you bitch...I'll stake you until there's nothing left... MOM!" I shouted hoarsely from the effort until my mouth went dry. Just to hear the sadistic cows laughter taunting me. In wild desperation I flung the dead woman off and rolled onto my stomach. _

_In sheer hellish agony I crawled on my good knee using the gurney next to me to pull myself up. With my broken, shattered leg twisted at an odd angel and balancing my weight onto my good leg. I grabbed the sliver medical tray bashing it into the side of Sebastian's lop sided head, w__hile at the same time prying the stake from him.  
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_The leaky faucet of the sinks exploded, water was lifted and moved, being directed. Instead of flowing down the drain it was lifted into the air being guided by an unseen force over the edges of the porcelain. Hurling downwards on the floor, the water scattered in every direction, coating the tiles of the incinerator room. Slamming the stake into Sebastian chest, I wailed in horror and rage, ripping out chunks of meat, rotted flesh, tendons and blood. My other hand tried blocking the claws that locked onto my neck ready __to crush the bones underneath._

_ His claws viciously gnawed on the skin of my neck tearing downwards into my chest that I screamed in a misting rain of my own blood tasting death. Out of my peripherals the heat from the incinerator was so intense, so massive,__ hot flames formed at the base of mom's slacks skewing the cottony material then erupting into flames._

_"Rose...Rose." Mom's howling screams was everywhere. They were inside of me, running through me, ripping out my heart with that one mangled syllable, echoing my name like a unheard prayer, as I was powerless to get to her. As her body fully engulfed into flames her ranting cries were loud, hauntingly filling the room. They seemed endless, as they rang on and on, her knees bounced on the metal gurney with a vibrating bounce. Trying to avoid the snake like flames that were crawling upwards towards her thighs, then to the middle of her stomach. Mom's exposed skin bubbled up while the retching stench of Dhampir burning flesh clogged the room. The blackened slacks melted showing the rapid changing color of red scalding flesh to charred blackness beneath. _

_When her voice faded, her eyes glassy locked onto mine. Those once fluidly chocolaty depths that once held so much life were hollow, empty, lifeless. Just as empty as my fathers were, rocked in numbness an inner cold swept over me. A stain on my soul just as dead and unseeing._

_ "Mom...mom!" Despite all of the chaos that pooled around there was a turbulent calm, a cone of silence. A loud pitch deafening out all other sound. My eyes flickered away, __horrified from my mothers body wondered aimlessly around the room._

_A wall of water jetted upwards all the way to the ceiling, moved incriminated layers towards the Strigoi's pushing them back. Sonya turned on Lissa directing spirit towards her. It was cresting glowing being bigger than anything I had ever seen. Lilith and Ezekiel were shredding and clawing at each other w__hen the barging noises came from the corridor._

_"Rose...Roza... where the hell are you?" Dimitri growled fighting his way in__._

_"She's in here!" Jill cried, coming out of her hiding spot with both of her hands raised directing the Strigoi's and the watery wall backwards. "Hurry!__ Lissa and I can't hold them off for much longer."_

_Like a dark knight coming out of the bowls of hell, Dimitri charged in unsheathing his stake and joining in the fight. Spotting me his hand flew on the tip of the medical tray tossing it out of his way; while his heavy boot kicked the gurney in his path. Sebastian never saw him coming. Dimitri's jaw locked, fury glowing in his eyes raked his stake across the back of Sebastian's head. The abomination dropped me snarling, while globs of flesh boiled and sizzled off of him. For the first time, the Strigoi dropped to his knees. Dimitri swung his leg in a fast strik__e smashing his boot into his head. Groaning Sebastian's eyes rolled as he face planted into the ground. Without wasting any time Dimitri slammed his stake into his back, but had the same results that I had...nothing._

_"What the hell is this?" He demanded understanding__ exactly what we were up against._

_"They won't die." Jill screamed, keeping her eyes glued on the Strigoi's, the__n blasting them with another wall of water._

_"Rose staked him half a dozen times." Lissa panted looking drained and weakened but determined to keep fighting. Flipping the Strigoi over, Dimitri hazardly slashed into his chest then rammed his hand inside. When he pulled his fingers out he held Sebastian's small withering heart in his palm.__ Tossing the dreaded organ down, Dimitri's boot came up then down squashing the mass everywhere. "Lets see you live through that." Dimitri growled out sitting on the corpse.  
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_"Get her out of here." Lissa ordered with tight lines around her mouth. Holy hell she had meant to die here, just like she said she would._

_"We'll see__ each other again soon Rosemarie...enjoy the radiant glow of life...while you can." Sonya's voice range out as Victor's arms clasped her around the waist carrying her backwards, escaping into the shadows._

_Kneeling down in front of me, Dimitri's hand went __quickly under my legs surveying the damage to my knee when I felt myself slipping. His other around the back of my neck ready to lift me._

_"No." I swallowed thickly forcing my eyes to stay open. "Leave me." I gasped drawing my next breath and weakly pushing at his chest. "Moroi's... Dimitri they come first...no you come first." He said adamantly shaking his head in denial as his chocolaty depths looked me over. "I won't live without you." Swinging my arms around his neck in one last ditch effort I tried stopping him. He had t__o save Lissa she was all that mattered._

_"Don't make my parents death be in vain get Lissa out of here." I ordered. Dimitri blanched his face going visible pale as indecision crossed his face. Unable to protest he lifted me up anyways and he buried his face into my neck inhaling my scent. "I'll get her out Roza...but I won't let you go...I made that mistake once." He gruffly whispered._

_ Fire exploded all around us as guardian's poured into the room. Christian was among them hurling large fireballs to each of the S__trigoi's that Jill and Lissa were holding at bay._

_"Eddie you and Stan surround the princess." Dimitri ordered brushing past them "Get her the hell of out of here...And the traitor?" Eddie motioned towards Jill. _

_"Take her into custody the courts can decided what to do her." The last thing I heard was Jill telling Eddie and Stan how to kill the mutated Strigoi's. How many of those monsters had escaped with Victor and Sonya? Darkness folded around me as my last conscious thought rested... I had failed. Both my mother an__d father were gone, I had no one!_

_**Hey everyone I'm currently working a new VA story: Called Dance Of The Dark Side. It will offer new twists and turns into a human world that innocent Rose has never journey to. Murder, lies, deception where not knowing who you can trust can get you killed. Will have lots of lemons, thrills chills and excitement. Below is the summary and sneak peak into upcoming chapter called Ghosts Of The Past! Enjoy. Plus please give me feedback to any of the stories that I'm writing I love hearing from you so review, comment tell me what you liked about it where you think the story line is going or if you just hate it! Dedicated to all of my beloved VA fans everywhere**_

**VA Dance Of The Dark Side Summary:**

**Leading a double life was a challenge, if my true identity as Abe Mazur's only daughter was known, everything I have would be in jeopardy. I wouldn't be able to save my father's life. Wrongly accused, of murder and sitting in prison for a crime he didn't commit. I was his only hope. In my secret world, chaos, lies, and deceptions have become my daily norm. Life as an intern at Bloodlines Attorneys At Law takes a dangerous turn when my best friend Lissa Dragomir tries to meddle in my non-existent love life. My eyes are opened to the seductive dance of the dark side.**

"It's the nature of the business." Dad once told me, when I walked in on Howard and his heavy slinging fist creaming into one of the dancers face. My eyes watered and teared even though I held my tongue in check. "If a person can't be loyal to the hand that feeds them then they must be dealt with …...and if I was to ever betray you? I asked stifling the weakness in my voice, when everything inside of me trembled and screamed out in fear.


	46. Hearts On Fire

_ When I surfaced from the haze of the darkness, everything hurt, there was such ungodly agonizing pain running from one region of my body to the next. Even my eyelashes hurt not that I could open then. My arms were heavy laden, not even the muscles would twitch even though I had tried to move my fingers. _

_Various sounds were everywhere, making occasional noises, from bleeping to to loud alarms. This was hell being aware of everything to doctors, and nurses coming into my room poking and prodding. Shifting my beaten down body and adjusting something on my leg to my friends coming and going about every five minutes asking the dreaded question. "Any changes?" Adrian repeated my earlier thoughts. Then there was the queen, she frequent my room continuously wanting updates almost hourly. _

_Dimitri hadn't left my side since he found me at the morgue, if anything he was more vigilant. Adrian kept checking on my progress staying for long periods for healing, dream walks and just being there. The warm comfort of his hand covering my hand eased some of the stress of not being able to wake up. Christian would come in and read to me, telling me about his day, talking about his aunt and just sit with me. One of the three were constantly at my bedside. _

_"None." Dimitri warily sighed sounding completely exhausted. "The doctors aren't to sure when she'll wake up. If I were in her shoes." He said pausing and exhaling deeply "I'm not sure that I would want to._

_"Good evening Mr. Belikov... Mr. ___Ivashkov I'm just here to draw some blood...and I told you no! Rose hates needles!" Dimitri vehemently stated with a low baritone voice. Why didn't he go home to his apartment and get some sleep? I wanted to ask but this limbo state wouldn't allow my mouth to work, much less anything else.__

_"_But the IV's...is needed for pain management and fluids." He snapped critically. "Both Lissa and Adrian has tirelessly healed her to the best of their abilities. "As for the surgery." Dimitri said his voice trailing off as he moved around the room. "That was necessary...your tests and blood work are not!"__

_"_Very well." She said as her heels clicked away. "But the doctor will here of this...Speaking of the good doctor." Adrian interrupted. "When will he be in? I would like a post follow up regarding her surgery." What surgery had something happen? So many questions I wanted ask when the bliss of darkness closed over me again. I welcomed it, here there was no pain, not the loss of my parents. __

__Ohh god was that real? No it was a dream correction nightmare, here in oblivion nothing hurt there was no death. Just peace endless peace, where even dreams didn't dare enter. It was the calm that I sought, yes this was peace. No worries of Lissa or Jill or deranged blood thirsty Strigoi's like Sonya and Victor. Where I was at there were two roads, one was a paradise. Lush evergreen and blue spruce pines nestled along the roadside. Rich gardens with nourishing brown soils held flowers of every shape, color and size with such vivid bright colors. I was drawn to the yellow and reds of the flowers. Each of the petals carried parts of my life, the moment of my birth. The years of my childhood so many petals on the rows of flowers. __

__The second road was turbulent with gray skies, lightening flashing, blistering high winds. Dust and dirt spiraled along the beaten path while pounding rain soaked everything that it touched. It was so barren empty with no traces of life, joy, or happiness. Thickening colors in the distant horizon were bleak, the colors meshed together swirling from gray to black. Sorrow, pain, loss, despair and agony was down that trail. Two roads to chose from, was that the road I had just come from. Time had no meaning I wanted to see where the road with the flowers would take me. For some reason I kept looking back towards the barren road feeling equally pulled to it. __

_"_How is Ms. Hathaway doing today? Still sleeping hmmm...no your right here in the room with us aren't you?" The voice sounded friendly one that I had been hearing quite regularly, but as she spoke it was like she knew I was there. "You still have great work ahead of you Rose. No matter how much you're tempted to cross over to the other side, you're still needed here." __

__But it hurts, everything hurts it wasn't like that in this place. Here there was a peace, a calm that I hadn't felt before. No suffering, no pain.__

_"_Anything worth having Rose comes with both. From the moments of our birth to our deaths, there will be heartache, loss and pain in one form or another. Life has predestined that, but we also grow from it, becoming better, stronger, learning to lean on those that loves us most to get through the trying times. There is balance in the design, your future is also filled with much love and happiness but your work isn't done yet."__

_ _Great, wise ole Obi Wan Kenobi is trying to make it sound like there would be even more pain to go through. Hadn't there been enough suffering?"__

_"_True you've had more then your share, more then most and have and more to go through, but in the end Rosemarie you will find happiness and love in the future. You just have to comeback to us."__

_"_Is she...is she awake?" Lissa questioned softly when the heels of the nurse moved away. "I heard voices."__

_"_No but she's listening, most patients do...and your name?" Lissa paused moving closer into the room.__

_"_Hailey Johnson. Are the charms that Adrian made working for you dear?" She asked sounding concerned.__

_"_For now, but it's common knowledge spirit has away of making us crazy and I used allot." Lissa exhaled sharply. "It's chipping away a little at a time." __

__Oh crap I had forgotten about that, was Lissa having symptoms? All that power everything, that she did to try to save us, were there side affects? Even though her and I would never be friends again I stilled cared about her. Lissa had a brilliant mind and was good for both of our people, both races would suffer if she was lost to spirit insanity. Jeezish it was Vladimir and Anna all over again __

_"_Your future isn't written and neither is hers." The nurse quietly said and shuffled away.__

__"Oh my god, Rose, I never thought I would ever see you this way." Lissa said with a broken voice in almost a whisper. I felt her cool hand slide into mine as she held it close to her. In what way had I grown a third horn or something? Everything felt floaty like I was under water, even the sounds were garbled. __

__The sudden warm wash of heat warmed me as the murky darkness threaten to pull me back under. God the path with the flowers were so pretty almost calling my name, stroking the petals. I hesitated should I go back to the road that scared the shit out me and held so much pain or stay with the flowers that beckoned me forward? __

__I felt the bed shift as Lissa's body weight rested next to me on the hard hospital bed. "Does it hurt, god, that was a stupid question, of course it hurts. I'm going to do every thing I can to heal you Rose, you will be as good as new." Lissa said quietly as she stroked my arm motherly. __

__"I hope your pain killers are kicking some serious ass!" She growled as she touched different parts of me. It felt strange like numbness almost or maybe just the kick ass pain killers, I don't know. My brain was in such a daze I truly couldn't focus long enough to consider the pain. __

__You shouldn't be here I wanted to say but felt the warmth of her laying so close to me. Damn this was like when we were kids, holding onto each other when we were sick. Charms what charms? They can't be all that lucky if you have to wear them! Why did Adrian have to make them Lissa? I could smell the fruity sent of her hair and it brought back memories when we used to be like sisters.__

_ _Suddenly I felt wet on my skin and then heard the sniffles of Lissa crying next to me. Part of me wanted to comfort her but I couldn't move. "I love you Rose, I know you don't believe me but I want you to survive this so we can find our way back to each other. I miss you, I miss my sister." __

__Ahh that's right we were sisters but something happened changed all that. Dimitri...Dimitri was what happened but what about him? The two people I loved most damn I hated this state of heaven and hell. What happened between the three of us, we used to be close and somehow drifted apart. It was like I was in mourning something was missing, puzzles pieces weren't coming together what changed what happened? __

__"I'm so sorry Rose, I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for what happened between Dimitri and me. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom and dad. God, Rose, I know how bad it hurts when your family is gone , when you lose your whole family in the blink of an eye. I swear to you that I will be here for you. I know this is going to kill you. I promise I will be right here for you." Lissa rambled on in between her tears and sniffles. My mind was piecing it together as she spoke.__

__Ohh shit was that really real, that really happened? My mom...Abe the morgue that was all real? Of course it was and the reason I was in a hospital. Something bad happened there and Lissa was here. All the tormented thoughts buzzed and hummed in my mind like a freaking freight train spinning circles. when the darkness pulled me under again, setting my body a float where even what I could feel dematerialized into the blacks of the void.__

__"Liss what the hell do you think you're doing?" Dimitri barked sounding appalled that she was in the room with me. "You know damn well she wouldn't want you here...not after all the shit you put her through." The sound of Dimitri's shouting pulled me back out of the tumbling mist; how long had I been there anyways? Days, weeks there just wasn't any telling.__

__"Dimitri... what do you mean... You have no idea what she would want." Lissa's head moved from my shoulder as she sat up next to me. "I don't see her wanting you here either. Rose knows I tried to save her, I told her that I regret every messed up part of this. And I have been trying to make amends." I could hear the anger in her voice as she defended herself to him. __

_"_So don't you dare presume to know anything about Rose's and my relationship. You're the one that caused all this to happen in the first place!" Damn, Lissa was just laying it all out there right from the start. No beating around that bush. Good grief, I didn't want to deal with this shit, why couldn't they both shut the hell up and go away to fight somewhere else. __

_"_I'm the one who caused all this. Lady, I swear you're so full of yourself." Dimitri exhaling deeply like he was having a hard to time controlling himself. Maybe he was counting to ten. "If you were more like Adrian this shit wouldn't have happened. You're the fucking spirit user, you should have known the effects of spirit." Damn Dimitri had her there, why hadn't Lissa reacted more like Adrian and distance her from him. That just made no sense. __

_"_What did you secretly like me or something and is that why you wrecked both of our relationships, because you couldn't keep your fucking legs closed? Are you that much of a bitch in heat you had to take away the one single love of my life by always being there?" Dimitri said with contempt a sound that I wasn't all that used to hearing from him. "Were you that fucking jealous of Rose you had to separate us through your head games and manipulation?"__

__Wow Dimitri was going for the low blows. Who the hell does he think pushed me into Adrian's arms. Lissa couldn't have liked him that way, could she? She admitted to me a long time ago that she had feelings for him, just how far did those feelings go? God this was getting so confusing, I just didn't want to deal with either one of them. Maybe if I was lucky, I wouldn't wake up at all and move back to the path of the flowers, they were so serene and peaceful.__

__"Yes, you are the one who did this, you never took no for an answer." Lissa vehemently whispered dropping her tone an octave lower. "You couldn't just let me be! You followed me around like a freaking lost puppy." Her voice raised as she growled out the words through her teeth. It seemed as though she was trying to control her anger too, but with all the spirit darkness, this would not be easy for her. "So it's your fault that I lost Christian and I have no future." __

__No, sorry Liss that's your fault, you blew it all on your own! I could almost picture Lissa rolling her eyes or flicking her hair like she always did when she was upset as her voice got even more quieter. __

_"_You should have turned to your so-called one single love of your messed up life and told her how you were feeling. You should have told her about spirits afterglow and not come crawling to me." Oh point for Lissa there. She hummed out as I could feel her body getting tenser. She was shaking with rage. Her fingertips stroked my hair as if I was some damn child in need of coddling when all I wanted to do was throw them both out of the room. "I lost everything because of you. I lost my best friend and my sister. I have no one and it's all because you thought you could have your fucking cake and eat it too."__

_"_I couldn't go to Rose because I didn't understand it myself." Dimitri argued warily, there was so much pain and remorse in his voice, like he would have given anything to go back in time and change the outcome. "I wanted to go to her and tried several times." He said shuffling around the room as if he was pacing, when I heard something metal crash into the wall. __

__"But instead I turned to you thinking you had the fucking answers. I trusted you; I looked up to you. You were my savior, my hero...good god I worshiped you! I didn't know shit about spirits afterglow other than what you would tell me. You took advantage of my weakness so don't play your holier than thou attitude." Dimitri growled outrageously at her. "You lost Christian and drove him into her arms by your fucking head games. At least you knew what you were doing sister!" Dimitri snorted in disgust. "Where I didn't have a fucking clue, so don't place this shit on me."__

__Why couldn't you have just come to me? I would have listened we both could have figured it out and then maybe you wouldn't have turned to Lissa the way you did. Neither one of you knew what the hell you were doing! Can't you see you both were in the wrong and now it's just too late.__

__"Oh yeah Mr. Innocent, you think I had all the answers when you were begging to get in my pants and spread my legs for you." I felt the bed shake as Lissa launched to her feet. Anger surged through her and me in waves as she tried to contain the darkness. "You made sure that Rose had no one else to turn to except Christian and Adrian and I fell for your charms. Speaking of charms, what are you going to do when all this shit comes out? The trial is almost here and every bit of this fucked up mess is going to come out. Especially what my role was in that ring, even though I had no idea what it was going to be used for. You planned it all Dimitri this was your fault!" Oh shit, trial every little detail of our lives dragged through the mud. I don't think I can deal with that, all of court looking down on us as if we are nothing but pond scum. __

__"What trail?" He asked sounding shocked. "There's going to be a trial, what are you talking about? Oh man that's last thing I need is for my life to be on public display and for my dirty laundry to be aired out in the middle of court. Couldn't everyone just leave me the hell alone? __

_ "_When Rose wakes up more than likely she's going to leave again, the way she did the first time." Dimitri stated the obvious. __Damn straight, I was going back home to my life in Turkey the first chance that I got.__

_ "_It will be your fault with your recklessness in spirit...that's what it always boarders down to. You get your fucking happy using the shit and she pays for it. Have you seen the way Rose gets when your spirit madness bleeds into her... of course you haven't your so wrapped up into yourself you never see the pain you put her through." Dimitri clipped off tersely so he was using his monotone mentoring voice capturing my full attention. When had he built up that much animosity towards her? When did it get to the point where they both hated one another? __

_"_As for the ring, you're the one who offered to help me. You came to my parents' house in Russia; it wasn't me twisting your arm begging you to follow." Dimitri chuckled in a cold dry humorless laugh. "Contrary to what you think, the world doesn't revolve around you! It was you and your crazy psychotic family that got her parents killed in the first place. How it must warm your heart to know both of your sisters set her parents up and helped Sonya kill them. So you got a lot of nerve to preach to me!" He sneered with boiling venom in his voice, like he could have choked the life out of her on the spot.__

__"Oh yeah that's right, you were so busy trying to get back into Rose's pants that you haven't heard, you're going to trial. When the queen is done with you, you won't have a fucking pot to piss in and if Rose leaves again it will be because of you not me." Lissa snarled out with venom dripping from every word. "I hate to break it to you but the world doesn't revolve around you either." Lissa taunted back using his same tone callous voice. __

__"You were supposed to be her mentor, protect Rose like you promised you always would. But no, you recklessly came to me." She added when I felt her hand combing through my hair and a wetness dripping down on my neck. She could feel the darkness taking over too. "I know my spirit bleeds into her and I know exactly the way she gets when it does." Her voice shook with all the raw emotion. How would Lissa know she had never seen me like that! Dimitri had to always bring me back from the depths of her madness when I would lose myself. She was just trying to hurt him as he was doing to her. __

__"I have been with her my whole fucking life, you are nothing but a flash in the pan that has done nothing but bring pain and unhappiness in all of our lives. I wish you had never found us in Portland. Rose would still have the people she loves in her life and my sisters would have never done something so sick and twisted. Had it not been for you messing with your teenage innocent student, none of this would have ever happened!" Lissa's voice roared with all the pain she felt and guilt that flooded her soul as she thought about how sick her sisters are and all the torture they inflicted on my family and me. __

_"_Janine and Abe are dead because of your fucked up family; my biggest and only regret is fucking a two bit whore like you! No wonder Christian dumped your sorry ass the first time. Rose was everything to me; everything and you damn well knew it. You destroy everything you touch Liss and Rose suffers the price every time she takes the darkness from you... she pays for it!"__

__"Rose is everything to me! Not only was she my best friend since we were five, she was my sister and a part of my family." She screeched the words out her voice raw and raspy the pain in her was more than evident to me. "My whole family loved her like she was one of us. And not only that but she was my guardian. We planned it that way since we were little. We were supposed to be together forever and you took her away from me. You have no idea what she means to me, I don't think you have a fucking clue what it means to really love someone!" Lissa added shouting at the top of her lungs, I'm surprised the hospital staff had not barged into the room stopping the fight. __

__"I love Rose and I will always be here for her, I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to her. I don't give a flying fuck what you do. You're the one who has destroyed everything. Are you satisfied with the price you have made Rose pay with all your lies and cheating?" That was it; I couldn't take any more of the shit. I didn't want to hear another fucking thing. I just wanted to have silence. __

__"No matter how good you two are at pointing fingers at the other nothing will ever change the fact that you both fucked up royally and no matter what you say or do will ever change that." I gasped fighting for each and every breath and taking the stupid oxygen mask away from my face and throwing it down on the ground to glare at them both. Ohh I was beyond pissed and I just wanted them both to leave me the hell alone. __

__"You both are the reason we are here today. My mom and my dad and Mikhail and all the other people that have died and gotten hurt are no longer with us. So both of you shut the fuck up and get out of my room!" I snarled and pointed at the door.  
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	47. Rebirth Of Rose Mazur

_**__ **Movie: story of us. Spoken by Bruces Willis but script written by _Rob Reiner_**__**_

_**I think the loudest silences are the ones filled with everything that's been said. Said wrong, said 300 times. Until fighting becomes the condition rather than the exception. And your only option is a silent retreat to mutual corners.**_

_**Words that best explains mine and Dimitri's relationship. (Rose & Dimitri)  
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__Silence filled the room while two set of eyes were pinned and locked on me. Slowly but surely it was beginning to register to them what they had been doing just seconds before.__

_"_Satisfied." Lissa mummer softly crossing her hands over chest stalking off.__

_"_Shit!" Dimitri cursed under his breath sounding more furious at himself, as he walked towards me. Leaning down he picked up the hissing oxygen mask, regret and sorrow filled his eyes. His teeth were clinched as if he was doing everything in his power to get himself back under control. He looked like hell! When was the last time he had slept, or showered much less eaten? Had I been out of it that long? There were tired haggard lines around Dimitri's eyes, while a full days worth of whiskers peppered around his sideburns and neck.__

_"_I'm sorry... you shouldn't have had to... fuck!" He whispered closing his eyes and then reopening them. Distrustful at first I stilled when his hand cupped the back of my head. His other hand slid the mask back into place, while his fingers adjusted the green straps behind my ears. Not trusting this line of conversation I leaned back on the bed. The burning in my lungs was slowly fading, as the oxygen seeped into my nose and mouth.  
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_There were so many things I wanted to ask, but where to begin. _"_My parents." I rasped with my throat closing up as a hard dry lump formed. It felt as though a razor blade was going down sideways as images of both of their bodies going up in flames flashed in my mind's eye. My heart squeezed so painfully in my chest it felt as if it would shatter when the echoes of mom's harrowing screams filled my soul. The memory was permanently burned into my brain as the flames licked at her tender skin burning her clothes down to cinders...and Abe...I was going to be sick. _

_"Is there...is there..._

_"There was nothing." Dimitri paused when a choked sob slipped from my mouth. The sympathetic look that overwhelmed his face was heart wrenching. Dimitri, the ever-stoic guardian, with the perfect mask was faltering. His eyes shone with unshed tears as he choked the words out. "The guardians and I went over the incinerators with a fine tooth comb. Whatever remains were left were mixed in with countless others." His face turned pale and even slightly green with the mention of all the other remains involved. His eyes flickered away as his breath hitched. _

"_So you're a hundred percent certain?" Adrian's soft sullen voice trickled in from the hallway. Blinking back the tears, Dimitri's hand closed over mine. My heart slammed erratically in my hollow chest. The world imploded and the air felt like it had been sucked out of the entire room. Everything I once knew was gone. There was nothing left… there was nothing left… the quiet suffocating voice in the back of my mind screamed out. My whole body wanted to curl up and just die. However, another part of me fought to block the devastating agony. No way in hell was I going to fall apart… maybe later whispered the broken resonating voice. _

_Dimitri's gloomy eyes came back up, locking with mine. I could see his inner battle having to tell me such horrid news even though I already knew that it was true. _

_"As sure as I can be, like I've told you before...ahh guardian Hathaway, glad to see you're awake." A voice interrupted him mid-sentence. The middle aged Dhampir entered the room with a heavy look on her face. I knew immediately by the pathetic look she gave me that her news was not going to be good. I didn't know if I could take any more bad news. I had already lost everything what else could she possibly take from me. _

_My eyes followed her as she strolled into the room. I studied every move trying to read her. Dr. Olendzki's short brunette hair was shadowed in gray, neatly framing her face, softening her features. The thin strands were more pronounced from the white starchy medical jacket that she wore. Her long stethoscope delicately balanced between both shoulder blades while both ends hung loosely around her neck. In her arms, she carried an assortment of various black and bluish films. Strolling towards the light board and arranging the x-ray films in over lapping order, briefly her face scrunch up and scowled at what she saw. _

_Turning towards Adrian, as he stood undecided at the door, I noticed his expression was guarded when his emeralds flickered momentarily towards me, they were filled with longing and concern. I saw how he glanced at the x-ray's all lined up and his face tightened as if he already knew what was coming. _

"_Little Dhampir." He hesitated stuffing his hands deeply into his stonewashed jeans and proceeded to the bed._

"_You gave us all quite a scare Guardian Hathaway?" Dr. Olendzki stated with the frown deepening the lines on her pretty face. Reaching over and grabbing my chart at the foot of the bed the silence became deafening as she studied the chart from page to page. Her voice broke the painful tension with a stupid question. "How are you feeling?"_

_I glared at her thinking after all she just read she should know how I'm feeling, but decided I should answer. "It hurts to breath. My chest feels like a herd of stampeding elephants decided to sit down all at once." I croaked into the mask._

"_That's because of the deep tissue lacerations and the bruising of your ribs...you are a very lucky woman to be alive." She added tapping her pen over the chart._

"_Luck is when you hit the lottery or inherit a big time fortune from some distant relative you've never met... this...this isn't luck!" I ruefully stated feeling as though I swallowed a mouthful of desert sand. I was now out of breath and totally annoyed. _

_Taking a moment to clear her throat and pulling out a pen. She shinned the point of light into my eyes, the brightness had me flinching as I pulled my head away._

"_Let's get this over with doc." Adrian sighed pulling his hand out of his pocket and moving to the bed just enough that he could sit down and hold me in his arms. It felt good to have his loving arms around me, but yet, I didn't want them. My eyes flashed up toward Dimitri and saw the muscles in his jaw twitched as he looked at the two of us. Remaining quiet, he turned his attention towards the Doctor. Walking back towards the light board, she pointed towards the area around my kneecap and the bones surrounding it. On the other side of that film was another x-ray of my ankle._

"_Deep gashes and bruised ribs wasn't the worst of your injures I'm afraid... my foot!" I hissed out starring so hard at the board that it could have shattered._

"_We had to go in and operate on both your ankle and you knee. During the surgery, the damaged cartilage and bone were removed from the knee joint. Your tibia was shattered; we had to reconstruct you knee with a replacement part made from metal and a strong plastic._

"_And my ankle?" I numbly asked holding my breath even though I couldn't piece together the dots. Everything in the room felt cold and sterile, a violent tremor raced between my shoulders. Adrian's hand tightened around my upper arms as he pulled me in closer into his chest._

"_The same… the injuries were so seriously we had no choice but to reconstruct and use metal plating." Dr. Olendzki carefully explained. Okay so what the hell am I missing? So, I was hurt even got banged up a little bit. With Adrian and Lissa healing my leg and foot, it wouldn't take that much longer to heal. Why was there sadness in the woman eyes? And why was Adrian holding onto me like I was about to blow a gasket._

"_So… I'll do physical therapy and when you give..._

_"what she's trying to tell you Rose is your days of being a guardian are over." The bleakness in Dimitri's monotone voice sucker punched me in a way nothing could. The air in my lungs whooshed out in a painful gust. Tears sprang to my eyes as my face heated. Violent tremors spread from my shoulder blades to every region of my body making me even colder than what I already felt and the not so subtle shaking was full-blown. My lungs refused to take in air as I realized the impact of his words. I shook my head no, not believing it to be true. My inner voice screamed there is nothing left… I felt the tears poor down my face as I blinked rapidly. _

"_Modern day medicine is always advancing, there is alternative treatments and... _

_"Thank you Dr." Dimitri said hissing in a deep breath while ushering her out at the same time. _

_"I am sorry guardian Hathaway... I'll inform the queen." __Dr. Olendzki _reluctantly apologized uncertain if she was ready to leave the room just yet._  
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_I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach, squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I tried to block it out. The memory of bodies burning, my mother's agonizing cries of help, and the sheer hellish screams that filled every crevice of the morgue echoed once again in my tortured mind. The last words I heard from my father's mouth came through Lissa's mind. The old man telling me how much he loved me! The scenes played repeatedly, forcing me to watch and feel it all over again._

_Sonya had destroyed my life just as she said she would. I had lost the only thing that was left for me to lose. The only skills that I was ever good at, the thing that I thought would never fail me. Defeat and devastation coursed through me like never before. Everything became overwhelming as all of it crashed in all at once, suffocating me to where I couldn't breathe. Slicing into my soul and tearing away the layers of my life, what life… everything that made me Rose Hathaway was gone. I should have burned up in that fire myself right along with my parents, Sonya robbed me of everything and left me with nothing! Hell, I was nothing... everything was gone! Unable to control any emotions at all tears flooded my face and poured soaking Adrian's shirt_

__Neither Dimitri or Adrian offered up any pretty comforting words, nor promised any kind of grandeur future. The kind of future where I was whole, healthy, living a life that my career dictated. A guardian with a moral list compass of life zen lessons, beliefs, the strongest man I knew, appeared just as lost, tortured as he silently observed. Adrian my voice of reason, who could make any situation lighter, more bearable. Laid back holding me close his fingers combing through my hair and brushing the tender skin on my neck.__

__Dimitri had it wrong about Lissa destroying everything that she touched. Those that I loved, cherished and treasured, their lives were either taken before their rightful time or their lives were ruined, a permanent stain on my soul in the manner of how I had wronged them. God I had killed just about everyone that I had loved. My list of unspeakable sins was ever stretching, Mikhail, Eddie, Dimitri, Adrian, Lissa and my parents. I was a retched curse in this life not to mention in the life after, maybe that was why the land of the dead let me go. Maybe those on the other side cringed at the lost soul that stood before them. __

_ _Pulling away from Adrian he looked down at me hurt, confusing reigning in his turbulent emeralds.__

_"_Please...please... leave me." I cried with desperation in my trembling voice.__

_"_I can't not when you need us." Dimitri whispered hoarsely while his penetrating browns locked onto mine.__

_"_He's right Rose you need us." Adrian pleaded.__

_"_I destroy everyone who comes into contact with me, there dead because of me." I hysterically cracked breaking from the splintering pressure in my chest.__

_"_Roza I...__

__"No...no... no." I screamed covering my hands over my ears shaking my head. "Please if either one of you love me then go, just go... please I need time to think...I need to be alone." Exhaustion plagued me like a disease sapping me of what strength I had left.__

_"_I'm afraid I have to ask you both to leave." Dr. Olendzki stated with two uniform guardians standing on either side of her, in the event Dimitri or Adrian were to give her any trouble. Only if she knew how much of a bad ass Dimitri really was she would have brought the whole royal guardians instead of two rent a cops. If it wasn't for the damn contraption attached to my leg raising, bending my knee then straightening it flat back on the bed. I would have rolled over curling into a ball trying to disappear from the world. Instead I met Dimitri's disarming stare while Adrian rose up from the bed.__

_"_Little Dhampir."Adrian tried one last time. Turning my head tears fell hard from eyes as I looked at the opposite wall from them. Dimitri huffed out an agonizing breath as his hand closed over Adrian's shoulder pushing him out into the hallway leaving the good doctor and I alone. Why couldn't everyone just leave me alone?  
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_"_Ms. Hathaway." Dr. Olendzki compassionately compelled forcing me to look at her.__

_"_I wanted to talk to you on another matter." She paused hesitating while her professional grays prevented me from looking away. "You're shadow kissed aren't you?" Nodding she took a deep breath. "We need to run some additional tests, some anomalies have shown up in your blood work that we think have something to do with you being shadow kissed but we need confirmation.__

__"No more tests... no more anything." I shrieked wanting to be left alone, couldn't she see how torn up inside I was. Did the doctors Hippocratic Oath of do no harm mean nothing?__

__But Rose...__

__"Get out." I shouted no longer caring about the clinching pain in my chest. More then likely the sudden jerky movement ripped open one of the stitches. Before leaving the doctor reached into her pocket pulling out a syringe. Clasping the IV tubing she injected a clear looking liquid into it. "Alright Rose, you win." Dr. Olendzki warily sighed shaking her head, looking puzzled and frustrated. "This will help you with your pain while letting you sleep." She added then turned leaving the room.__

__The biting sting of the drug raced into the top portion of my hand, spreading upwards into my arm. The world twisted and swayed moving off kilter where even the sounds became garbled. My eyes sight grew dim and everything looked hazey as the pain ebbed back. In a dismal fog my lids slammed shut taking all the pain with it.__

__The next time my eyes opened I swallowed the dryness that seemed permanently lodged in my throat. With unsteady hands I reached for the phone and pulled the cradle towards me cupping the receiver in my shaking fingers. With my other hand I clasped the cup of water someone had blessedly poured and drank heartily. Entering the series of numbers I patiently waited for the ringing on the other side and praying that he would answer. Would his loyalties extend towards me? I needed time to think, space to physically heal and he could ensure that for me. __

__Rose Hathaway so much meaning in a name, died along with Janine Hathaway. The woman that she had helped me to become and who I was, was now gone. Ashes that was all that was left! Ashes, charred bodies from all those people Sonya had burned or ordered to be burned. Out of the ashes and death a new person was born alone, but unafraid. A woman whose hate had given her a new purpose in life. One filled with revenge, an insatiable__ drug without any bounds or limits that beckoned for Sonya's head on a spit. A cry for justice in the purest form, mounting a clawing need for a life to be taken for a life, a tortured soul to be tortured. Blood calling to blood that my own should have been blackened with the heavy weight of exacting my revenge. To make it my life long mission to see her suffering as she had done to me. Like Sonya, I would be ruthless in my search, cold closing myself off to everyone until the deed was done. Mercy she would learn that word because I would have her begging for it, an unattainable goal kept out of her reach. Yes Sonya would beg me for mercy, maybe I would go through her family just the way she steamed rolled through mine taking away all those that she once loved. Mikhail even though he was treasured friend was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.____

__Abe's right hand man was the only one that I could reach out to. Could he help me to reinvent myself, could he help me rise out of the ashes and become my father's daughter Rose Mazur? A mobster's only daughter, she would need to be conning, calculating, ruthless, harden by her parents deaths, cold as ice without the emotional baggage. Just thinking about Sonya and everything she took from me the answer was yes. Hell yes I could be her!  
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_"Mazur's_ residence Pavel speaking." __

__"Thank god." I whimpered leaning back on the bed. "Hello." His polite but stern voice said on the other end.__

_"_Pavel." I rasped out taking another drink and adjusting the phone more comfortably. Stilling my erratic thoughts. "I...I need you." I said as my voice tighten from the intense emotions and feeling the breakdown coming.__

_"_I've been waiting for your call Ms. Hathaway my condolences...__

__"Mazur." I stated rather shakily. "Sonya Karp killed Rosemarie Hathaway when she killed my parents. There's only Mazur now." Again the tears flowed down my cheeks and impatiently I wiped at them hating my weakness. Hating the very need of having to ask for help the way that I was.  
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_"_I'll make all the necessary arrangements." He said in a calming reassuring voice, leading me to believe he was more then capable of taking control of any given situation.__

_"_Pavel." I cleared once more. "Gather the team, the queen will be staging Dimitri's trial soon, after that I'm coming home. "Your in charge of my security and personal safety. Levent, he can take over my physical therapy." I paused taking a shuddering breath as the old man came into my minds eye piercing my heart even more. "He can full fill the same duties he had to my father, his commando training with the recruits."__

_"_Your going after her." Pavel stated in a knowing kind of way. "I'll see be there in a couple of days and assign Levent at once in my absence. He added cutting the line disconnecting us, replacing the phone and downing the last of the water. Dimitri's shadowy figured lingered at the doorway, sensing his presence leaving the breath that I had been holding was expelled. __

__Hours passed as I recounted all the dots in the ceiling, and took notice of the hanging pictures on the sterile walls of the hospital. Sharp blinding white fiery pain snaked up my leg as the machine slid it up into a bending position then flatten it back down. But pain was good it was a true signature that one was alive, the more the physical the easier it was to push back the damaging mental. With each sharp shooting sensation the more my hatred for Sonya grew, a constant reminder of everything that I had lost and was still losing. __

__Yes pain kept me grounded and my belly full with the need to exact revenge. Pain could keep you focused and edgy, taking you as far out of your comfort zone that one allowed. Yes I needed my pain, I needed those scalding sensations to replace everything that I wasn't capable of feeling. It filled all of the numbing spaces that was depleted; hope, love, happiness, joy, everything that I had lost while being Strigoi. Pain festered up in me clawing at my stomach, just as much as guilt, hatred and the need for revenge.__

_"_You should try and eat something." Levent's cool voice called out to me as he set a food tray down on the over the bed side table pushing it towards me. "It will help you keep your strength up." Lifting the silver lid Palvo was already looking after me with the gourmet breakfast that looked as though had been prepared by top leading chiefs.__

_"_It's light for your stomach, if your able to keep it down then we'll move to a more heartier diet." He added handing me a fork.__

_"_Are you informed of my medical condition?" I asked taking the fork stabbing at the eggs and taking a few bits, then picking the dry toast and stuffing a small corner into my mouth. Despite being a brats diet the food was good, mouth watering in fact. The last time I had eaten was when Dimitri practically forced me to, and now my stomach was growling with the flavoring scent. __

_"_I am and just wanted to give you a heads up, the physical therapy you'll be needing will be vigorous, painful, and time consuming. In order to give you back as much mobility in your leg, you going to have to push yourself." He stated pointing to the machine. "That's what that's for and when you not in that contraption you'll be baring weight.__

__I understand." I acknowledged spooning out some oatmeal, then pausing before taking a bite. "I won't challenge you on the matter, just worry about getting me back on my feet!"__

_"_Anything else?" He asked not beating around the bush and getting straight to the point. His sharp grays watched me closely taking notice of everything and I lightly trembled under under the rawness that was still there. Pushing my tray away I laid back on the bed combing my hair with my fingertips.__

_"_Yeah I worked with a group in Russia." I casually explained like I was talking about the weather even though Sonya came to mind making my heart pound ferociously. "They were called the unpromised ones. Find them and put them into your group. You'll be starting your ___reconnaissance missions again." Levent straighten even more and pulled his hands behind him while he shifted from one foot to the other. "I want Sonya Karp found! I want to know her every move before she makes it, when she feeds, her hunting habits and those fucking mutated Strigoi's that she's awakened. I want to be so ingrained into her that when her flesh starts rotting off I want to feel it." The cold venom in my voice had him flinching, but he remained silent. "And lastly." I added taking a deep breathe and exhaling before meeting his riveting grays. "Keep everyone the hell away from me until Pavel arrives." _

_"Rose their trying to help, they care about you, we all..._

_"And look where it's gotten them!" I challenged hotly, as I struggled to keep my voice down because the effort of yelling hurt so damn much. "I don't want them to care!" I croaked feeling a massive lump forming in the back of my throat as I wheezed in another breath. "I don't anyone one to...I just want to be left alone." Feeling the tears running down my face again his perplexing features softened._

_"As you wish." He said straightening some then leaning over where I inhaled his tropical beach scent while he wiped my stained cheeks. "I can keep everyone at arms length Rose, but I can't stop them from caring." With that he strolled out the door closing it behind him. True to his word the only ones that entered into my room was either the doctor or nursing staff following my progress. Lissa, Adrian and Christian all about threw major shit fits with my refusal to see them even though they tried several times a night to get in. _

_Levent, Debain and Styles stayed on guard rotating off with Serena and Camille. When Pavel arrived he stayed in the room while Levent would do my grueling physical therapy, he stayed aloof but remained every so alert as the days passed._

_"Step aside young man I'm here to see Rose Hathaway." An authoritative voice order Levent._

_"But shes..._

_I know what Rose has demanded, but are you going to refuse me?" She asserted in the same commanding tone making it appoint that she didn't like being questioned. _

_"No of course not your majesty." Levent respectably stated then bowing. _

_ Marie Conta strolled into my room her eyes flickering towards mine then taking in the surroundings. "I know about your outstanding orders for visitors but felt they didn't apply to me." She snorted belligerently and grabbing a chair pushing it up along my bedside. _

_"Honestly Rose what are you thinking?" She asked outright waiting for a answer. "Your friends are worried sick about you, and alienating yourself to this." She said waving her hand around the empty spaces of the room. "You would be far more comfortable in the suit that I assigned you to then here and you would be closer to me. " She added clasping my hand fondly into hers. "We were friends way before I became queen." She reasoned with a nervous laugh. "A title that I feel was largely owed to you, how many times have you saved my life?" She asked directing her sharp gaze on me, there wasn't any pity in her eyes, a look that I had been dreading coming from her. At best I wanted to hide in some small hole or corner, somewhere out of site and mind from everyone. I didn't want to see those shameful pitting looks or where they felt sorry for me. No if I could disappear then see that, then I would._

_"A number of times your majes..._

_"Rose don't make me get on my royal high horse, it's Maria to you and all I expect to hear come out of your mouth. Do we understand one another?" She shrewdly quipped. "Why haven't you moved back into the palace where my team of doctors could oversee your medical care?"_

_"Because we both know I can no longer full fill my guardian duties." I quietly whispered looking down at my hands feeling like a total failure. "My suit could be issued to someone who can better protect you."_

_"Pish posh." She said tightening her hand over mine and patting it with her other. "That's just a technicality that I'm willing to overlook. Your place is where those who cares about you are. Poor Eddie he is beside himself. Adrian, he on more then one occasion has threatened to use compulsion just to get in, but your goon squad is more resilient then he gave them credit for. Christian is fire spitting mad and has cornered Levent and Debain quite a few times threatening bodily harm. My royal guards have had to intervene just to keep from arresting him. Then there is Dimitri and Lissa. She has a major feather in her bonnet and has most of the royal family in an up roar wanting to dispatch your team. While Dimitri being the strong silent type has been taking out his aggressions on those dumb enough to go round and round with him in the gym. I'm waiting for one of them if not all to stage a coup against your men." She said sounding exasperated and annoyed, then slanting her hooded eyes on Pavel and Levent. _

_"You should be discouraging this kind of behavior." She added shaking her finger towards them. "Being sequestered in the hospital is not good for her state of mind." Rolling my eyes and burring my face in my hands Levent's words came back to taunt me as I told you so echoed loudly in my ears._

_"Just following orders." Pavel said with a faint amusing smile curling the corners of his lips._

_"Well they need to be rectified... clearly." She added frowning back._

_"You try telling that to a stubborn Mazur." Levent threw in making my head jerk up. Yep here it comes I told you so written all over his smug face. Bastard! "You feel like hitting the bars today?" He asked shoving a walker in the direction of the bed._

_"So much for a friendly chat!" Mara outlandishly stated rising to her feet and paced around the room as though Levent had dismissed her. "We need to talk about Dimitri and his upcoming hearing, that I've scheduled."_

_"Maria let it go." I implored not wanting to continue with this conversation._

_"Like hell I will!" She frostily growled showing her own rage regarding the matter. "He broke the law, illegally used spirit..and..and spiritually raped you with that damn ring!" She stuttered while the lines around her mouth tightened in fury."So decisions have to be decided and I would rather hear your accounts as to what happen that night. Marian has such a grudge against you that I don't believe a nith of what comes out of her mouth. According to official reports she attacked you on the island with her mundane jealousy. And where Dimitri is concerned at the moment he is tight lipped...so I don't know what to believe." She said turning back around and retaking her seat opposite of me." I like him I really do but if he is guilty of any of these charges then I want to nail his ass to the wall."  
><em>

_ Maria she was fair always had been, even more protective over those she cared for. In this case no she wasn't about to let the issue with Dimitri go, her sense of morals of right and wrong wouldn't allow her too. As for Dimitri he was in serious trouble. I had taken his life twice and at every turn he in his own ways had tried to make amends for the mistakes that he had made. Could I hurt him again, when he had done so much to protect me and makeup for what he had done?_

_"Maria please let this go, so much has happened since then that I would rather forget about the night that I was awakened."_

_"So your admitting he used spirit?" She interrupted. God I hated lying and she was going to get the information one way or the other. Even if that meant drawing a full blown hearing and making the sorted details of my life all the more real and very public._

_"No." I said clipping my voice trying to make it sound just as strong as I could under her scrutiny. "If he had it didn't work."_

_"But there are witnesses that claim he had." She countered as she swung her blustering gaze towards Levent. "Your own men have made allegations allegedling crimes against Dimitri!...Rose!" She sighed out while she rubbed her forehead impatiently "I'm just trying to get to the truth." Rampant thoughts of an angry Jack Nicholson in a courtroom being crossed examined by opposing counsel and him slamming his hand down on a bench, belting out "You can't handle the truth." entered my mind, but somehow I didn't think Maria would appreciate the humor in matter._

_"They are misinformed...and may have made those reports out of haste." I seriously stated licking my suddenly dry lips knowing that I was calling Levent a liar and waiting for him to call me on it. The hard glint in his eyes gleamed letting me know I was in deep shit when we were alone. "Or for their own personal interests." Inwardly I cringed from making the false statement, my stomach cramped in reaction. Moving by the wall he crossed his arms over his chest, his jaws locked while he gritted his teeth remaining silent._

_"Hmm." She said pushing her lips together in a deep set frown letting me know she didn't quite believe me. "We shall see in the upcoming hearing that's scheduled within a few days." Getting out of her seat she leaned towards me and motherly kissed my cheek. "You should really comeback to the palace my dear. I do so miss our chocolate cake eating days._

_"Your majesty." Pavel said pushing away from the wall from Levent who was glowering at me. "I'll walk you out." Guess he wasn't interested in watching the fallout that was about to explode between us. Giving a court nod to Levent, meaning man his post, he escorted Maria from the room._

_Moving at a slow pace stroll towards the bed Levent took in an aggravated breath and grab the controller adjusting the bed and height. Lowering the head portion so that I was flat on my back, making me even more helpless then I was before. His whole demeanor had changed, his movements even more precise as he stopped the machine working my leg and began removing the velcro straps bracing my thigh and calves. I knew he wouldn't hurt me but it didn't stop my heart from racing or my stomach flip flopping into queasy knots. Bile rose to my throat scorching my windpipe, the stagnate after taste flooding my senses. Lifting my leg between his two warm hands his finger lightly biting into my flesh stabilizing my leg. With a slight arch he pushed bending my knee and pushing it back towards my shoulders. Pain seared, becoming a blinding white invisible flame radiating in every direction of my leg._

_"Son of bitch." I growled from the tearing bend and gasped, my hands wrapped around the edges of the mattress in a choke hold, while he carefully straighten my leg back out._

_"I'm that and more but hardly a liar." Levent bristled in a controlled tone, repeating the movement in my leg. More thunder bolts and spidery tingling sensations snaked around the front and back of my calve. Sucking in a tortured breath and blinking back the tears; Levent's hard etched face loomed over mine as he continued with the exercise."You ask me for space I gave it to you! I didn't like it, sure as hell didn't want it, but gave it to you regardless! Then you went through Pavel asking for my help and here I am...keeping everyone away and doing your therapy, because you asked!"He sourly added as a muscle ticked in his jaw "Now your calling me a liar to the queen, because you want to protect a rapist?"_

_"You don't understand." I hissed when the next wave consumed me. "I took his life twice."_

_"Your going to put my name, my reputation and creditability on the line for a no good asshole that's hurt you countless times in the past." Levent snapped cutting me off, stark loathing darkened his grays as he worked his jaw in irritation. "Not to mention using spirit against you making you think he was me." _

_"Yes." I angrily fired back as the full weight of sharp stabbing pain speared into my leg making me tremble. The sensations clawed into my belly igniting the fire of my rage. There wouldn't be any hell Sonya would be able to escape to in order to hide from me. I would hunt her down the face of the earth, like the rabid dog that she was just to make her feel a fraction of what I was feeling right now. I would strip her down bare to where my pain would be her own. _

_"I'm asking you to do just that! Help me give back one of the lives that I've taken from both him and Adrian. You gift wrapped Dimitri like he was a fucking birthday present for me to kill so I'm asking you to help me make it right. So when I leave here, I can do so with a clear conscious and not be filled with regret. I can wash my hands of everyone and go after Sonya."Guilt settled heavily on my shoulders, for what I was demanding but I couldn't find it within myself to stop. Placing my leg back down on the bed he raised the head were our faces were scant inches away from the other. His grays flashed looking more like chiseled ice flakes as he peered back into mine._

_"You have no idea what your asking of me, what this shit does to man...good god Rose I love you and you want me to defend him. It should have been me that night!" Levent spat, flinching inwards he cupped my cheek preventing me from pulling away while his thumb soothingly stroked across my skin, holding me firm so I would look at him._

_"I've waited my whole life for someone like you, I know in here." He moved his other hand pressing his fingertips tightly into my chest above my heart. "That what we had was special, all those years that we spent together, working together, seeing you at your worst, then bringing out the best. It should have been my mouth tasting you for the first time, these hands." H_e stated raising them both for me to see as his breathing accelerated between rage and lust, blew hotly across my face. __

__"_Caressing you learning every inch, while my body made love to you. But that selfish son of a bitch robbed me of that!' Shit I should have killed him for what he did!" Levent growled ferociously as though Dimitri was in the room with us, like an unseen presence coming between us mockingly. "You were mine just as much as I was yours!" His grays flashed murderously while the muscles in jaw twitched. "He fucks up and now you expect me to lie for him, to save the bastard from being rightfully punished!_

_"Your no saint either the last time I checked you were married and lied to me for years." Lowering my head and looking at my hands. Levent's fingers fell away leaving behind a cold trail in it's place. Trembling I didn't know what else to say. I hadn't considered the possibility that this would hurt him. Dammit as usual I forged ahead without considering anyone's feelings let alone heed the consequences of my actions. Idiot. Stupid, selfish idiot. What had I been thinking? _

_"And what do you get out of this huh... what's in it for you?" Scowling at me, he rubbed the spot behind his neck._

_"The life Sonya cursed me to, one that I'm accepting with arms wide open even embracing. She wanted me alone, I'm alone, but in that solitude I'll know that Dimitri and Lissa and those that I truly did care about are out of her reach...there safe. _

_When Pavel returned he came in carrying a dinner tray and sat it down on the bedside table. Brooding Levent gave me a final glance. _

_"I need some air." He told Pavel. "And you." He pointed with his index finger towards the food. "Eat." He ordered. Levent wasn't asking he was demanding as he passed through the door leading out into the hallway. Any appetite I may have had was failing as I queasily looked at the food in front of me, and feeling myself turn green. Roasted, garlic and herb chicken, rice pilaf and chiefs blend mixed vegetables. Reluctantly I forced down the first bite, the chicken swirled around my tongue tasting over flavored. _

_What if Levent wouldn't do it, for that matter what if I couldn't get the help of Christian and Adrian? Lissa I wasn't worried about she would do anything at this point to get back into my good graces and then there was Marian was I going to have to contend with that bitch again? Grudgingly by the time I was half way through the meal my stomach painful cramped. I shoved the tray away, and laying back on the bed feeling completely exhausted. _


	48. Bitch Slapped

**There's a place that I know  
>It's not pretty there and few have ever gone<br>If I show it to you now  
>Will it make you run away <strong>

**Or will you stay**  
><strong>Even if it hurts<strong>  
><strong>Even if I try to push you out<strong>  
><strong>Will you return?<strong>  
><strong>And remind me who I really am<strong>  
><strong>Please remind me who I really am<strong>

**_"Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson_**

_"You know that boy cares about you." Pavel stated matter-of- factly, disturbing me as I was drifting off to sleep. "You're going to need him in the days ahead, someone you can trust, and one that won't let you down."_

_"Good." I snorted turning my body as much as the machine would allow looking at him. "Because I plan on dragging him into hell with me to find Sonya. Personal feelings can't get in the way of that mission! I need him to stay focus on the prime directive and using skills that would make a weaker person cringe in fear in finding her, using any method in bring about her downfall."_

_"That's not what I meant!" Pavel's sharp reprimanding voice filled the room effectively silencing me. "Your need for revenge… I get it. I've had a lifetime of it myself, so I know what you're getting at. But Levent's a good man, one of the few left in our line of work." He added rubbing his chin thoughtfully._

_"He's married, I don't do married men, nor would I ever remotely entertain the possibility. It's bad enough that people around here thinks of me as a blood whore! I won't give them the ammunition to call me a home wrecker. I've got my pride, it may not be much, but it's all that I have left." I added with a shaky laugh._

_Pavel's face lightened, softening his features as he began laughing at some inside joke that was on me. His lips curled upwards into a full-scale grin spreading into a smile, the look he gave mirrored in his eyes, while he shook his head. _

_"Well you can stow your pride, right before your father's disappearance he came through for Levent with the queen." Pavel hesitated when he saw me flinch and raise my hand over my chest, pressing uncomfortably against the area where my heart was._

_"Look… all I'm saying, is his divorce came through recently." He amended raising his palms out as though he was looking at them. Butterflies knotted up in my belly, blood rushed from my face, as a nuclear explosion went off in my head while silently I screamed no….._

_Ahhh hell no... no, no and no! I almost shouted. Was there a fucking bull's-eye target tattooed on my forehead, or somewhere that stated I needed a man in black indelible ink. Or even an ad in the freaking personals stating lonely, and desperate, rich mobster daughter in need of a great guy to wreak havoc in my life. Couldn't everyone see what a freak I was, all the death that I brought to the lives closest to me? How I was destined to be alone, how I should be quarantine in solitary confinement for all the damage I've caused or lives that I ruined. The last thing I needed was someone else professing his undying love for me._

_I was nothing more than a walking curse, a nightmare for anyone who crossed paths with me. The last thing I needed was something as overwhelming as love! Hell, it was bad enough that my friends cared. Hadn't anyone learned that lesson with the death of my parents, obviously not! No, I didn't want it, I sure as hell didn't deserve it, and was completely unworthy of it! Levent was going to get back in the game of trying to save me from myself with love and in the process get himself killed._

_"Maybe he should be fired, because the last thing I need is for some star-crossed lover at risk because his thoughts are on me instead of on his job." I added bitterly cupping my head in my hands ready to rip my hair out. "This is just one more complication I don't need right now."_

_"Then my divorce shouldn't be a problem, you knew the paper work had been filed and that I would be getting one sooner or later." Levent replied flippantly while stepping into the room enunciating his words with traces of anger. "I have no intentions of letting my personal feelings getting in the way of my job. You've made your position towards me perfectly clear, with what you're asking. I don't need you to draw me a diagram of you and Dimitri!" He spat coldly sending shivers up my spine, like him saying Dimitri's name left him with a foul after taste in his mouth._

_"You need the best personnel that I can offer to track down Sonya." The fire in his eyes dared me to challenge him, washing away any hurt that I may have caused. He was wearing his best poker face; he wasn't fooling me, any more than I could him, despite what he was saying. Better he thought that, than the alternative… knowing just how emotionally deficient I really was._

_"You want to give me the best." I snuffed raising my nose just a tad bit higher, ready to throw down a few of my own gauntlets. "Then find Lev, Dennis, Tamara, and Artur. Put them in the mix with the others, and then you'll be able to ensure that I have the best." I replied just as sweetly while batting my eyes stubbornly, knowing full well that I sounded more of a bitch having PMS, then anything remotely professional._

_When Pavel muffled a coughed, I shrank back on the bed closing my eyes. No, I wasn't going to fight anymore with Levent, instead I needed to conserve my strength for Sonya. _

_So it began during the days that followed, Levent had me on a killer physical therapy regime until a week had rolled by, even the queen had granted an extension on Dimitri's trial. Right at sunset, breakfast was brought in while nurse Hailey wheeled me into the shower. By nine pm, I was dressed in shorts and a halter top and wheeled down to the rehabilitation facilities of the hospital._

_The physical therapy parallel bars were a bitch. At first, I was standing on the thing for thirty minutes, simply because I lacked the strength to do anything more. As part of my physical therapy, Levent had me lifting weights to build up my biceps and triceps. My good leg wasn't given a reprieve either, as he continuously worked those muscles as well. Whatever punishment he dished out, I took in spades. If Levent said another bench press, then for kicks and giggles, I did two more._

_Camille and Serena would trade off with him taking me down to the pools. They were just as much of a drill Sargent as he was. However, I preferred the pool and the aquatic exercise to the parallel bars. The water was the only place my weight didn't feel like my enemy. I hobbled around, holding onto the outer edges, doing a slow pace lap around the lengths. The whistle blowing had me looking over my shoulder seeing Styles pointing at the clock. "Out of the pool...Levent wants you in rehab in fifteen minutes."_

_"Come on… Serena and I will help you out." Camille stated as both of their chilly fingers clasped my biceps swinging my lower arms around their shoulders._

_"We wouldn't want you being late for the great Gendarmerie." Serena teased trudging through the water, as they both lead me towards the shallow end of the pool and helping me out, then seating me in my wheel chair._

_"Says the girl that had it bad for him, when we first met." I mummer under my breath, both guardian's moved with quick efficient speed in helping me get changed and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Confined to the wheel chair, Serena rolled me to the rehabilitation center with five minutes to spare._

_"Go and take your position by the door." Levent ordered to Styles and Camille as he set down a manila file on the make shift desk then strolling towards us. "Adrian Ivashkov will be joining us shortly. It's your job to make sure he comes in alone." Turning his attention back to me, Levent rolled me towards the two silver bars so that I was sitting with one metal bar on either side of me._

_"Okay Rose grasp here." Levent demonstrated by gliding my hands slowly around the cold metal. "Once you have a good hold, you'll step up to the bars bearing weight on this leg." He tapped on my good knee. "Then you'll shift your weight onto you bad until it's evenly distributed." Pulling myself out of the chair my arms trembled and shook supporting my weight until both legs were under me. Instantly two things became apparent; one I was still weak as a newborn kitten, and secondly this shit hurt no matter how many times the routine had been done. The only difference was today I would be walking._

_"Ah, little Dhampir, it's good to see you back in those sexy little shorts of yours." Adrian's voice echoed in the rehabilitation center when he strolled over to the other end of the parallel bars. Flashing another panty-dropping smirk, he reminded me of the last time he said something like that._

_Looking at Adrian after all this time my heart raced and my breathing became more labored. God, he looked good with his spiky hair slicked back. The light camel colored short sleeve shirt hung loosely at his waist and his Calvin Klein's fit snug around his hips. When my full assessment was finished, he pinned me down with his emeralds._

_"Right… and I am just as equally sure this knee and leg brace makes me the next top model." I replied sourly following Levent's instructions and tearing my gaze away from, him. "If you think I can really pull this off then you haven't seen my scars." Seeing him here got me thinking that he had decided to help, he must have, otherwise why would he be here? He couldn't refuse; he was Dimitri's bond mate. Everything depended on whether or not he could help._

_"But you will always be sexy to me, Little Dhampir, no matter how many scars you have." Adrian sincerely said with a sad look as he took in my struggle._

_The first step was so painful I bit my lip drawing blood, and made the effort to shift my weight to the other. "Sexy?" I said keeping my eyes trained down on my feet, "Is that before or after the pitiful look you have on your face...never mind Adrian… don't worry about it, I'm not a charity case, save your flattery for a girl who wants to hear them."_

_Adrian's eyes flashed with anger with my insulting words, I could tell that I struck a chord, but I really didn't care. "Rose, you know you are not a charity case to me and I'm not looking at you with pity, its sadness that you have to face such a hard road of recovery. Please don't cut me out of your life."_

_"What life do you really think I'm living huh?" I questioned gripping the handrails even tighter afraid that I might lose my balance._

_"Do you two need a minute?" Levent questioned as he squatted down, moving my bad leg into place so I could take the next step on it and bare my full weight._

_"Yes!" Adrian bellowed…"No!" I shouted at the same time as him. As far as I was concerned, Adrian had already said everything that he needed to say when I fucked up by calling him Dimitri. It was spirit, all of it was spirit, that's what he kept saying repeatedly… like a fucking broken record._

_"I take it you got my message?" I finally asked needing to focus on something more important than my fashion statement._

_"Yeah I got your message alright... unfortunately for me it had nothing to do with what I really wanted to hear from you." He said rolling his eyes, presumably because I was getting right down to business. No friendly conversation._

_"Your point being?" I asked being more curious now than ever if he wasn't here to talk about Dimitri then why had he come?_

_"Well Little Dhampir, seeing that little note, got my hopes up... thinking that you might have come to your senses and wanted to have your friends back in your life." Reaching into his breast pocket of his shirt Adrian pulled out his pack of cloves cigarettes and began tapping the pack against the side of his hand pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up._

_"Adrian please don't even go there." I sighed rolling my eyes and gripping the handles of the parallel bars even tighter. "It's a simple question are you and the others in...that's all I'm interested in not small talk."_

_"I can't help it Rose, we all miss you, and we need you in our lives... what can I say... Life just isn't the same without you. But since that's not why I'm here... we all agreed this needs to end so were all on board."_

_Shaking my head in in nervous relief, I expelled the pent up breath that I had been holding. "That's ...that's really good." I stammered "A life for a life." I mused forcing my left leg to take the next step even though I hissed in quickly from the sharp pain. "Dimitri needs this along with you."_

_"Yeah, I got the message Little Dhampir, this is all for him."_

_"No it's not it's for you as well, he's your bond mate, god if he wasn't around who would bleed the darkness from you?" What was the matter with Adrian, couldn't he see that he didn't have to live with spirit darkness anymore? Dimitri could help him, the same way that I did with Lissa, if he gave him half a chance. Dimitri's freedom was a win-win situation for the both of them. _

_"Do you honestly think I want you to suffer because of my fuck up? If you do then you are sadly mistaken… this is for you just as much for him. It's all I know to make it right for you even though there is not a damn thing on this earth that will make it better. So please spare me that it's all for Dimitri because it's not."_

_"Well, he's the one sitting in the jail cell right now, not me. So, I'd say we are all doing this for him. I've dealt with spirit my whole life without him, so don't bother with that crap." Taking a drag off his cigarette and flicking his ashes on the floor. _

_I frowned knowing there was a sign somewhere that said no smoking. Then again, when it came to following rules like that, when had Adrian ever followed them? Couldn't he see he didn't have to deal with the effects of spirit alone anymore; he saved Dimitri so Dimitri would be the one to save him from the madness. The retreating look on Adrian's face said no, he hadn't dealt with his own feelings or their shadow kissed bond. _

_"As far as I'm concerned, Rose, you paid your dues. You've gotten the shaft in more ways than I can count. So I don't need anything more from you not to make up for shit you didn't have any control over."_

_"Don't you get it?" I growled when I stepped wrong on my bad foot rolling my ankle. I blew a huff of air in frustration trying to move the hair away from eyes. "I have nothing left… I don't have a life, Rose Hathaway died the same day as my parents did!" I faintly chuckled. "By your own admission, what you were feeling for me and what I supposedly feel for you was nothing more than spirit. So none of it was real, nothing about me is real! So do us both a favor and just let that sleeping dog lie. As for you thinking all of this is for Dimitri." I said shaking my head stubbornly. "You couldn't be more wrong."_

_"Dammit Little Dhampir, I loved you way before all this spirit afterglow shit came into play, so don't give me that crap! I have always been here and I don't intend to go anywhere now!" He shouted as his face reddened with anger._

_Straightening back up Levent's grays flickered over towards Adrian, then back at me, when he reached behind me grabbing the wheelchair and gently pushed me back into it. "No!" I said shaking my head. "We're not done! I have to do this." I said ignoring Adrian._

_"I'll come back for her later, just find me when you two finish this up." Levent directed towards Adrian while he patted me on the shoulders, then turned and left._

_"Satisfied?" I asked placing my hands on the wheel of the chair and moving closer to the bars. Determined to keep going, I hoisted myself back up on the bars._

_"Come on Little Dhampir can't we just talk, I miss you." Dropping the cigarette on the floor and grinding the cherry out with his shoe Adrian placed his hand on the bars and moved closer towards me._

_I hated the pleading tone in his voice, doing my damnedest to tune it out and retake my first step alone without Levent guiding me. Fuck this was harder without him. "So talk you've already cut into my therapy time and ran Levent off... so what's new how's life...hmmmmm?"_

_"How can I answer that with you so hostile towards me? Tell me this Rose, what makes you think you are going to be so fucking happy without all of us that truly love you? You tell me that!" Adrian demanded crossing his arms over his chest looking like he was gearing up for a battle._

_"I'm not hostile." I said shrugging my shoulders. "As for being happy that's just overrated and it's much safer for everyone involved, if you all treat me like the disease that I am; or do you enjoy being hurt?" I sneered reminded how Sonya used Lissa against me and how she would do the same with Adrian. Not bothering to hide his strangled groan of frustration I pushed even further. "Did you forget about Sonya... because she has made damn sure that I don't forget about her and you keep thinking in terms of life, you forget I already lost mine!"_

_"Your life isn't over!" He shouted loudly as his voice filled the room keeping me in place. "You SURVIVED! But if you push all of us away you won't survive another round with Sonya. Did you forget that it was Dimitri that was the Calvary that came in and saved your ass!" His emeralds darkened to a deeper shade of green in warning, that he was keeping a tight rein on his wavering temper._

_"I didn't ask him to!" I yelled my tone matching his. Grasping the handles in a chokehold my good leg moved fluidly into the next step, sliding my bad leg into position I gritted my teeth hard popping my jaw. "Jesus, he should have left me then all of this shit would have ended with me; do you honestly think Sonya is done?" Knowing full-well with each and every breath that I took, as long as I was alive, Sonya would keep coming for me. "Who do you think she'll go after next... huh?" I taunted, seeing my mother and fathers bodies engulfed in flames and smelling the putrid odor of their burning flesh. Sonya wouldn't hesitate throwing another barbecue. Queasily, I pictured Adrian or Dimitri being strapped down on a gurney hearing their screams...no..no I just couldn't let that happen. "Because she sure as hell is bent on dragging out my suffering through those that I cared about. So back the fuck off…and saying that I survived! Yeah broken and scared... that's real survival!"_

_"You truly believe she would have stopped with you?" Adrian questioned, taking a ragged breath and moving away from the parallel bars. Combing his hand frustratedly through his hair the muscle in his jaw twitched. "You just said she isn't done! Even if you were dead, she wouldn't stop! So pull your head out of your ass Rose! Sonya isn't going to stop until she kills us all, we have to stick together, or we all will be dead! And you didn't have to ask Dimitri to save your ass!" He jabbed his index finger stretched out in my direction. "Because as much as I hate the man, he loves you and would do anything for you!"_

_"Then that's Dimitri first mistake!" I added taking in a deep breath looking at Adrian, his hurt angry expression was like swallowing a mouthful of glass and pretending you enjoyed it. "You didn't kill Mikhail I did! You didn't piss off queen bitch… I did! So she would have stopped. As for sticking together, no one else will die because of me! The god damn price is just to fucking high...but you'll all be safe when I leave."_

_"Boy Rose, I didn't know you could be so **Stupid!"** He hurled stopping by the corner and throwing his fist into the soda machine, the bones in his knuckles cracked making me flinch. "Don't you get it, she won't go after you when you leave because she is out to hurt you. She will go after who she thinks will hurt you the most. That's why she took your parents away from you. You're delusional if you think a fucking Strigoi is going to be happy with your death. She is a FUCKING lunatic she will never stop, Rose!" He snapped kicking a metal garbage can, sending both the metal can and trash inside flying a few feet away. "She and her freaks of nature are going to go after to whole fucking world. Sonya is power hungry and yes, she wants revenge, but it won't stop there! Don't be so fucking gullible!"_

_"Wow, Adrian you're just too quick for me with that higher IQ." I calmly stated not knowing just how much more of this shit I could take, when everything inside of me rebelled. "I mean damn, you have me on that whole intelligence thing, makes me wonder how I survived as long as I have." I said blinking back some of the tears that were threatening to spill. "But don't worry, you'll see just how incompetently stupid I really am when I go after her again. At least by going on the defense, she won't have time to go after any of you. But being brainless and stupid, I just might fuck that up too, right?"_

_"God Dammit Rose, there is no reasoning with you." He exasperatingly threw out his hands above his head curling them both into tightly clinched fists. "We all want to see Sonya go down. You don't have to do this alone. But no, you are going to go off half cocked with no one to back you up and this time you really will get yourself killed. Will you be satisfied then?" He hoarsely whispered, dropping his arms in defeat and walking back towards me. Placing his hand on my chin Adrian forced me to look at him. "Is that what you want, to sit on the other side and watch all your loved ones arrive after you and you can guide our lost souls to their right full destiny, because if you do it your way, you are signing all of our death certificates!"_

_"You'll have Dimitri and the Calvary to save your ass." I replied pulling my chin away from his warm fingers, his emeralds pierced mine for a second then he walked back towards the other end of the parallel bars like he needed the space as much as I did. "It's not like I'll be much help anyways. I can barely walk without some kind of assistance. The only thing I bring to your little hunting party is a spare tire, so it shouldn't matter if I stay or go._

_"So what is it Rose? What's it going to take for you to wake up and realize the truth?"_

_"You want some seriously cold hard truth, here's a bit of a news flash for you, but you might want to brace yourself, because I sure as hell don't think you're ready to handle the truth and nothing but the truth." I replied tersely, locking eyes with him, gritting my teeth trying to ignore the pain that went from my leg straight into my hip and back._

_"I'm sick to death of pretending to feel anything for anyone." I snarled squeezing my eyes tightly shut then a few seconds later opening them to glare at him. "When I was with you, Adrian… for me… that shit was real, at least I felt something." I growled lifting my hand off the bar, thumping my chest, wobbling, and nearly losing my balance until I slammed my hand back into place on the bar._

_"With everyone else… I'm just going through the motions, like a fucking robot programed to have a physical response, or an involuntary response like one does to breathe or, god help me, use the damn bathroom." I said shaking my head in disgust as I struggled to take another agonizing step, needing to get back to my chair before I fell flat on my face._

_"Someone touches me… I don't feel the warmth; I don't feel love or friendship, joy, happiness etcetera...etcetera! What I do feel… is rage and a whole hell of a lot of it. Boiling anger… constantly at the surface ready to explode!" I roared as I forced my body to take another painful step towards the end of the bars._

_"Not to mention the pure soul crushing emptiness… to where everything inside of me is dead. That no one or nothing can reach or touch ever again. Then… there is the fucking guilt of what I've done… so much guilt and remorse that I could drown in it! So please spare me the notion that you actually give a shit because according to you it's all spirit afterglow or some bullshit spirit darkness when I know it's not!" Adrian took a step back as the gravity of my words sank in; looking momentarily lost, he swallowed convulsively as if he didn't know what to say, but hell, I was far from being finished._

_"I choose to keep everyone away because it's the only way I can deal… without wanting to take a knife to myself just like Lissa once did for the all mighty relief or to go get high off endorphins from any sleazy ass Moroi willing to bite me. Even then keeping every little thing all bottled up inside because I'm afraid I might spontaneously combust if even a fraction of my anger and pain seeps out! I still want to do those things just for the escape alone." I shouted as my words rang through the empty room as if they were bouncing back to us to drill in the reality a little more. The silence was deafening as I struggled to catch my breath, I felt I had to tell him my last bit of revelation. "So if you expect me to be around you or Dimitri and god forbid Lissa; and then continue to act like everything is perfectly fine around… say Christian or his aunt or maybe the queen and Eddie and whoever else, then you might as well hand me the sharpest razor blade you can find. And while you're at it… make me your newest chew toy because that's what it's going to take to keep me in your precious life."_

_Adrian silently stood there hardly even breathing. His glossy emeralds slowly traveling over my face, flickering upwards to look at my hair, his fingers reached out like he was going to touch the strands, but at the last minute wiped the tears rolling down his cheeks. He looked like he had been bitch slapped as he instantly paled. All traces of red splotches on his cheeks disappeared with his fading anger. He took a resounding step backwards away from me; the clicking of the sole of his shoe scraping against the tile was the only sound heard, and then another step. Spinning on the back of his heels, he turned around and briskly walked past Levent. He was leaning against the door frame overhearing what had transpired between Adrian and me._

_Shaken to the core, all I could do was watch Adrian leave as he threw off Levent's hand when he tried latching onto his shoulder stopping him. "Come on man, she's got allot of shit to work through." Levent shouted after him._

_Scarcely breathing, every inch of my body trembled from causing him so much pain. Oh shit, what had I done… what had I done. I opened my mouth to speak, to apologize, to say something, anything, but words alluded me. I had told the truth, laid my darken soul out there for him, admitting every agonizing thought in my erratic mind, hurting him as I did. Adrian wanted to know, his perfect gentle spirit had touched upon my evil, but he wanted to know. For all the love and kindness he had ever shown me was rewarded by my hurting him in the most treacherous way._

_And Levent, I expelled sharply trying to gain some semi-balance of what had happened, he overheard everything. The kiss on the island, he knew my body had respond to him was just as empty and meaningless because I felt nothing. Not the karma or chemistry, passion, love, nothing, it was just as empty as I was and now he knew. He knew all of it._

_Rushing towards me, Levent powerful arms wrapped around my waist and pulled the wheelchair up behind my knees. "I think it's safe to say you've had enough for today..._

_"Did you know?" I asked interrupting him in mid-sentence. Leaning back into the chair, Levent placed my foot on the foot pedals. "About Dimitri being arrested?"_

_Nodding his head Levent stood to his full height moving behind the back of the wheel chair rolling me out of the rehabilitation center. The warm summer breeze heated my chilled skin; it had to be after midnight. The moon was at its highest point in the cloudless star filled sky. So many Moroi's and Dhampir's were walking along the sidewalks going on with their busy lives with various activities. The leaves on the grassy turf were in vibrant colors of yellow, orange and red's marking the changing season of fall. "Yeah, it happened a couple of nights ago, after you had me deliver your message to Adrian... Why... do you want to see him?"_

_"Yes and no." I stumbled tripping over my words "I need to go to the jail...but not to see Dimitri." I replied coolly clasping my hands together on my lap. "Set up interrogation for Jill Mastrano. With the amount of time she spent with Sonya and Victor, she's the key in finding them and my new best friend..."_

_"Hey Rose." Jesse called from out front of the Moroi's quarters, announcing to everyone in court my whereabouts. Great just fucking great. "Hey wait up." Jogging and leaving Ralf behind, I could hear his feet pounding into the pavement, when he caught up to me and Levent. "It's about time you got out of that stinking place._

_"Hold up buddy, Rose isn't taken any more visitors." Levent stopped placing a restraining hand on Jesse's chest pushing him backwards._

_"It's okay Levent; Jesse and I go back, way back from the academy days." Reaching down and placing my hands on the wheels, the chair came to an abrupt stop._

_"Jeez Jeese you should know better than to be chasing after a blood whore!" Before Ralf could finish the sentence and faster than Levent could react. Jesse's hand closed over his shirt twisting the material and jerking him forward so they were nose to nose and popped him in the mouth with his fist. "Now apologize!" Jesse growled making it clear that would be the first and last warning, Ralf would be getting. When Ralf didn't respond fast enough to Jesse's liking, he hit him again and shoved him to the ground._

_"What gives? Ralf shrieked, completely caught off guard._

_"I said apologize; before I mop your sorry ass up all over court for insulting Guardian Hathaway." He repeated, demanding Ralf's compliance. Hearing my mother's name instantly flooded my eyes with tears, even though I blinked them back, her image flashed before my eyes. 'Avenge me Rose... Avenge me.'_

_"I said say you're sorry!" Jesse snarled kicking Ralf in the gut and drawing back his leg to kick him again when Levent grabbed him from behind pulling him off._

_"Cool it... the both of you, just cool it! This is the last thing Rose needs to see right now... And you, you little shit." Levent squatted down on the ground raising Ralf up close enough to where he whispered something into his ear. Whatever Levent said to him, had the blood rushing out of his face, and looking like he was going to wet himself on the spot. Clutching his stomach, he got back to his feet trembling. "I'm sorry guardian Mazur." Ralf said shakily, stumbling away from us._

_Taking his shirt in his hand Jesse wiped Ralf's blood off his knuckles, his fierce blue eyes instantly cooled when he met my gaze. "I'm sorry about that. You know that Ralf is the brainless wonder; he has a bad habit of not thinking before he speaks. A lesson in manners I'm willing to reteach him if you want me to?" He asked raising his brow._

_"No." I replied waving off the gesture. "He's not saying what the rest of court is already thinking."_

_"Speak for yourself because I don't think that!"_

_"Nor I." Levent added matching Jesse, like they were having some kind of pissing contest._

_"I would like to go back to my room now." I yawned feigning being tired. One more minute out here with the shitty night that I had, and I was going to lose it. First, breaking Adrian's heart then this...what next a Strigoi turning a new leaf and drinking animal blood? No, I was ready to go back inside, despite Levent's generous nature of bringing me outside._

_"You owe me a drink! After all, you did say another time and I think that time is coming. What do you say Hath...I mean Mazur?" Jeese purred changing the subject altogether and causing my jaw to hit the ground." _

_Jesse...endorphins, casual relationship, nothing more. Ohh hell yeah… what did I have to lose. Self-respect, already lost that a long time ago. Dignity, yeah that went out the window too, so what's left. "Sure." I replied surprising myself._

_Leaning forward he placed a kiss to my forehead, leaving a faint trail, that I trembled. Jesse must have thought it was attraction where I just felt queasy inside, faking the best man eating smile that I could muster. Jesse looked blissfully pleased with himself, as if he had conquered some unachievable goal, where I felt like I was going to throw up._

_"Levent I'm ready." I asserted needing to be alone._

_"Later Rose." Jesse cocked both of his hands into pistols and stepping away whistling with a spring in his step._

_"Well that was interesting." Levent stated once he got me back into my room. "Plus the oldest trick in the book."_

_"What is?" Pavel asked as he opened the box of pizza and laying four slices on a plate._

_"That Moroi kid, the one that's been hanging around." Levent replied over his shoulder while he was helping to get me settled into bed, then positioning my leg down into the machine and strapping me. "Well he finally made his move. His friend insulted Rose, and to be the knight and shining armor that he is, began beating the crap out of his friend."_

_"Sounds like the guy is a narcissists...you have a name for this fellow?" Pavel question rubbing his chin thoughtfully._

_"Both of you are over reacting." I murmured picking up a piece of pizza and stuffing it into my mouth savoring the tangy flavor of cheese. "If you want to talk narcissism, how about wanting you to take me to see Lissa just so I can ask her to heal me. When we both know I'd rather pour batter acid down my throat then be fifty feet near her._

_"You're serious aren't you?" Levent asked sounding shocked, then quickly putting up his stoic mask into place._

_"As serious as a fucking heart attack. I want to walk on my own two feet, even if I have to use a cane, because there is no way in hell I'm going to the royal quorum in that contraption." I pointed crudely towards the chair. "And I want you to get me out of this hospital, preferably tonight." Looking out at the double pane windows the smooth surface marked the changing position of the moon. Yeah day break were hours away, but still I wanted out of the hospital. "No later then noon." _

_"I'll get right on it." Pavel jack knifed out of his seat looking pleased to be doing something. Bringing my attention to Levent. There was disapproval in his eyes but quite frankly I didn't give a shit. I could heal up somewhere else that didn't have doctors, needles and the sterile Lysol stringent smell. Just like flipping a light switch on, it was time for me to take charge of my destiny of who I was. No longer would I play the role of a victim. I was Rose Mazur and it was way past time that I acted like it. "You have any updates on the promise ones or am I too much of a distraction?" _

_"For the record." Levent eased away from the wall crossing his powerful hands over his chest. "It's to soon for you to leave. Secondly we found your rowdy bunch of misfits, a special forces team has been assembled to Novosibirsk to retrieve them and lastly." He leaned over the bed, getting up into my face. "You can lose the bitch attitude I'm not impressed." Unblinking my hand shot out from under the sheet cutting through the air with every bit of strength and energy that I had, colliding heavily against his smooth warm cheek with a loud whack._

_"I am my fathers daughter." I glared challenging into his radiating grays, a storm was brewing under the surface and now was a good time as any to take him down a peg or two. Levent needed to know who was in charge and he damn sure wasn't it. "You better decided real fucking quick if you want to be apart of my team and work for me. Because your not the man of the house and I'm not the little woman. Either forgo the white picket fence that you've obviously picked out or find yourself another job. _


End file.
